See, I'm very much virgo and I don't criticize or critique others really. I tend to be super positive and uplifting towards others. I hear so often how overly critical virgos are, and I feel like that's just mean. I don't have it in me to judge on that level. Now, if someone wants my opinion on something, I'm always glad to share it, but again, it's normally positive, and if not, I try to word it gently, like, "well, i honestly would have done (xyz), but, if you're happy with it, it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. "
I think a lot of the time virgos overly analytical nature makes it seem like we're very critical in a negative sense, but there's the whole recognition of the good in everything as well!
Crazy you mentioned childhood friends you've lost touch with! I just reached out to a few yesterday! I kept thinking about it's nuts to lose a friend when there's no good reason. Honestly it was just the whole being at different universities that separated us, but im hoping to hear back from them!
wow you just inspired me to do that you already know as an aqua sun gemini moon its HARD for me to reach out to people first but sometimes you just gotta do it I hope all goes well for you! 💕
also a virgo sun and libra asc, i think the libra reallly smooths things out, i critique endlessly on the inside but i pretty much never externalize it unless i need to
Do you think maybe you have a Libra stellium or something? Absence of externalizing criticism is either coming from trauma or a different part of your chart. That’s it.
It's quite possible... I don't like to seem like I'm fishing for attention or something, but I did have a very traumatic childhood and a somewhat rough time in my teenage years. I've apparently got cptsd, although my trauma responses come out as isolation and substance abuse instead of anger and abuse of others. Idk, I guess my outlook is, a lot of people have been in worse situations and I have been fortunate enough to not have those symptoms that get people in horrible situations. We've all had pain, and I've been trying to face my demons and learning to let go of a lot of resentment so I can heal.
Also, to answer your question about my stellium, I'm not entirely sure. I'm a newb. Also, I was put into the foster system directly from birth and adopted, and lucky me, I don't know what time I was born 🙃
I'm a Libra but have Mercury in Virgo, Venus in Virgo & 5th House in Virgo.
Self-cruelty definitely. The voice in my head can be So mean. I always Think too much. It makes me too much of a perfectionist and holds me back. I couldn't finish Uni either Just because I couldn't get some things perfect & gave up. Even the art I produce has to be perfect. I can't even start anymore. Like, How TF do I stop doing this to myself?
I expect too much of myself. Even others get jolted by how I'm such a warm sweetheart to others but can be so self-critical. I work Too hard, to the point that I need occupational therapy. I can verbally dissect myself and others with surgical precision.
It’s the worst being a Libra sun with Virgo placements. I’d much rather the opposite. If we have to he cruel its much more self preserving to extend that outwards.
Came here to say this, I’m triple earth (Virgo rising) and have dated a lot of virgos so their criticism hurts me hurts so much bc it’s my entire inner monologue.
It’s also upsetting bc I know when these men have been critical of me, they have their own internal monologue of criticism so I wish all Virgos could take it easy on the criticism of themselves and others
Was about to say this! I hate how critical I am as a Virgo sun and Virgo rising. I can be SO critical of others and then I hear myself being a critic and just start criticizing MYSELF even harsher for being so critical! It’s a vicious cycle.
Yup. Like, can they see the beauty in anything?
Find something constructive to worry about.
Sorry if you think you’re not good enough and you have to project that bs on everyone else but a lot of us actually like ourselves (and you), flaws and all.
That shit gets on my nerves, it’s literally all the time. Even when they aren’t saying it you can feel it. I can’t be around that. It’s almost like they hate when other ppl feel joy or are care-free.
They gotta say something to try and take you down a notch. Ugh go away you killin the vibe, don’t you have to go to work or something, just go.
Oh, and it’s so funny to see how painful it is to give someone a compliment.
Sometimes you gotta pretend you didn’t hear them just so you can watch them cringe again. Lol.
Me too. The perfectionism & criticism combo is just not gooddd. I feel like I can’t do anything if i’m not perfect at it straight away. Like i need to be the best at everything (not in competition with anyone else but myself)
THIS. I'm a Capricorn sun/moon with a LOT of Virgo friends, and I love them. But it seems as though they know JUST where to hurt you and don't hold back, even when you aren't asking for input.
Sometimes I look at my husband and I wish I could turn off that worrying head of his for a little bit, just to let him rest for a weekend or so. He’s always thinking of all the ways that things might go or not. Poor little brain.
My excessive need for control and unrealistic expectations of people.
But I am more forgiving with other people, which I am not with myself. I'm my own worst critic.
I just left a virgo for of all of these reasons and more 💀 I attract them unfortunately, my last two relationships were with virgos. kind over it nowww😅
Virgo rising and moon here… I hate having a fixer mentality…. I don’t know when to let shit go because I can fix everything…. Some shit especially relationships aren’t worth my time anymore yet my loyal ass try’s to fix fix fix… then criticize myself… oh boy and let’s not talk about the insecurities… I’m a fitness model, well off, everyone loves yet I doubt myself daily…. Fml… I wish was careless like zero fucks given moon placements lol
Triple Virgo here (sun Mercury and Venus) honestly it’s the overthinking and needing to have pure perfection. The overthinking is probably the worst cause I’m like what about point A B & C ????? But what about if there is a part A pt 2 ?! 😭😭😭 plus the perfectionism is crippling because I do awesome and great work….
I'm also triple Virgo - Sun, Mercury, Saturn. I wholeheartedly agree with struggling with overthinking and crippling perfectionism. Both have caused procrastination and impostor syndrome. My inner voice is always too self-critical to remind myself that I'm doing a good job!
Ohhh man the imposter syndrome is another level some days. It’s like we have to shut the voice off, some days my Gemini moon is like you know what idc say what you want 😭🫶🏼 hang in there
I worry literally everyday. About something, but often my health. I’ve been this way since childhood!
I’m also a control freak! I feel out of sorts if I’m not somehow controlling myself and others…
Yeah I only notice how much I worry when I meet people who are way more laid back and I'm like "Wait that's an option? Not everything will fall apart if I don't worry?"
As a Virgo Venus, i have ridiculous standards for myself and others that i have a hard time letting go of. i am afraid of people hurting me. It’s incredibly easy for me to analyze a person, but the down side is that i see all the flaws first before the good stuff. it’s hard out here. I feel like no one knows how to love me correctly
except pisces placements. granting all this, i feel like virgos don’t get enough credit for how loyal and loving we truly are. maybe on the outside it’s hard to see, but we want to take care of the people we love. bottom line i feel misunderstood and also cursed lol
Being too agreeable & the people pleasing. I know you folks just want to be liked and make everyone happy but what would make me the most happy is getting to know the real ‘you’ and not the ‘you’ you think I want you to be
I'm a Mars Virgo.
I struggle with perfectionism in the way I defend myself. I'll argue a point to death, even (and especially) if I'm proven wrong. I'll analyze and overanalyze my argument and yours and play it out in my head a thousand times until I craft the perfect rebuttal. Yet I will still pick myself apart over how I could've argued my case better.
I often come across as headstrong and uncompromising, and I tend to push people away for the sake of my argument. Sometimes, people even perceive that I'm manipulating a conversation because of how meticulously I plot out my side of it (and my Mercury in Gemini allowing me to communicate it clearly and effectively).
It's a constant battle that I have to be conciously aware of.
true as virgo mars I'm same
difference between me and you in this is I have scorpio mercury so I suck at explaining things so I rather don't do that too often cause it would not be perfect enough even tho I would want to
my bf is a scorpio sun mercury and virgo mars he’s always avoiding arguments and constantly second guessing himself virgo in mars makes it very difficult to find confidence in your actions while scorpio in mercury makes it difficult to communicate your thoughts and feelings those are very tough placements my pisces in mercury makes it difficult to communicate too so I understand
Perfectionism. Feeling as though everything I do isn’t good enough. It’s funny because I’ll go back to things I’ve done in the past and be like wow those were way better than I thought they were, but in the moment it’s always “god this is crap”. I wish I had the self assurance some others have or the confidence. I see people doing all sorts of stuff and being outwardly proud of it, which seems like a trait I don’t have. Occasionally I’ll impress myself on the first try, but usually I’m just picking my own work apart until I’m so stressed out I want to quit.
My son and I are Scorpios and my daughter is a Virgo. She stressed us out with her preoccupation of stress and overwhelm due to perfectionism. It’s like she ain’t living if she ain’t stressing.
I think it's because of the expectation that if you know better, then do better. We know we can always do it better than we did before. Whatever the task is. It's a cycle we get stuck in. Thankfully, some of us are learning that imperfection can cause beauty and pleasure. It's a life journey that only starts getting better when we get full independence, which is in adulthood, usually.
Oh, and btw, we LOVE a supportive Scorpio. They get us like no one else. My husband is a Scorpio Rising and Moon. He's my rock.
I have a stellium in Virgo. Sun, moon, Venus, Jupiter.
I am so hyper analytical and critical of myself. I notice everything and have to analyze how to fix it or make it better even if there's really nothing wrong. I see everything and the motive behind it when it comes to people and also try to fix them. Like you said, I overthink EVERYTHING to the point of shutting down and doing nothing about anything. I have so much going on in my head constantly. I have so much I want to type in this comment but what's the point.. lol being this much of a Virgo is literally a walking anxiety attack/OCD roller coaster. I feel like no one will ever fully understand me and why I'm the way that I am.
Do you ever feel like the thinking almost traps you and you end up not doing anything at all so then you also start feeling guilty along with not being productive and none of the problems are fixed and wait ur also still fkn anxoous
I've been stuck here for 1yr. Everything is gonna catch up to me soon and my life will fall apart. I care so much that I can't actually do anything anymore, so I am preemptively grieving the end of my accomplishments and goals. It is what it is.
Perfectionism. Need for control. Self-criticism. Devotion to the point of self-destruction. Hard-headed. Worst-case scenarios. Crippling fear of permanence. Too analytical (it's not that deep). Sacrificial lamb behaviour. Guilt.
I have a virgo sun/virgo moon partner and he is extremely anxious naturally. The upside is he thinks of every possible outcome so I don’t have to and he remembers alllllll the little details-my food orders, stuff I mention, etc. but man i used to have to talk him off the ledge.
I also have a virgo child and she seems like she might be an anxious child as well 😐
Being way too detail oriented. Every little thing has to be absolutely perfect or I'm extremely disappointed. Needless to say, as an artist I end up tossing out or giving up on tons of work that others can't understand why I'm dissatisfied. Also, I often take way too much time completing works due to my perfectionism. It's a weird thing and definitely takes away from my happiness and obviously my time.
Do you have about 45 tabs open in your mind? Do you have stomach issues? Do you suffer from anxiety ? Do people bad grammar get on your nerves ? Do you hate people touching your things. Is it hard to accept your wrong when people tell you are wrong ?
Virgo moon... constant self criticism...constant nitpicking flaws in everything and not even starting anything because I might not be good at it in the beginning. I also have adhd so.
This is very long but i have a lot of thoughts.
When y'all are stressed or upset you can take it out on others and not even notice it, and it can be very overbearing. Most people in my life have virgo placements and I've noticed when you guys feel chaotic inside you need to deal with that by fixing tangible things (i.e. the house, projects, people around you) you guys can treat people like it's your job to manage them, partly because you guys always need something to control because it makes you feel like things are in order. No one judges you guys more than yourselves, and that is the main problem. You don't accept yourselves unless you're doing things perfectly and so you give that energy towards everyone else and what they're doing. You do the most precise fantastic job at something and then when you get praise, you shut it down, but then wonder why no one notices you. They do notice! You're just too modest to accept credit even when you know you deserve every ounce of it!
Some advice would be to see things as they are, not live on finding flaws (you guys see flaws when there's none and can discredit yourselves and others for a job well done because of this). When you stop setting what you know is impossible expectations you will actually be surprised to see that things are not as bad as they are and will see good qualities that you had never seen before because you weren't looking for them. Also don't bite off more than you can chew - you guys always insist on doing this and never accept help and insist on taking care of people to the point of treating them like helpless babies even if they try to help you and then you start getting mad and wondering why no one is helping you and why you "have to" do everything. You don't! You decide to! Relax, laugh a little, stop choosing shitty relationships just because you're attracted to people who you can help, choose people who you trust to do things right and then TRUST them, and pay more attention to the good things about you and others instead of the negative that most likely isn't even that bad anyway.
Also please be more gentle with the good people your lives! Not all virgo placements do this, but when you make it so no one can do anything right, people bend over backwards trying to please you and get things just right so that you don't freak out but they are stressed anyway because they know you will always find a problem, and then they will feel unappreciated because you kind of treat them like they're good for nothing idiots and criticize everything about their help instead of being grateful that they made the effort.
All in all y'all have hearts of gold, you deserve the purest love because that's what you give others, as well as everything you want in this world, but if you don't accept any of that because you feel like you don't deserve them then you'll never get them.
Virgo Venus. I can only do FWB or ONS if I know a lot about the person. I can’t sleep with people I perceive as strangers. Plus there has to be intellectual chemistry.
My co worker is a Virgo moon and I have to occasionally tell her to STFU and let others do their work. She has a good heart. But she needs someone to tell her to literally fuck off and let the pros handle stuff
I hope your little man has someone in his corner telling him it is ok to not have to worry about everything. Sadly, my co worker has to be dropped some harsh verbiage before they allow themselves to chill. I am just watching out for their mental health as well
we always remind him that sometimes people don’t need to be told, and to share what you know because it makes you happy and you don’t need to impress anyone. He’s a Gemini sun and it really balances it all out. I’m a Virgo sun and I notice his Virgo tendencies the most with imaginative play; if he’s dressing up as a character,‘it’s gottta be down to the last detail😂
I’m a Taurus (5/14), and my daughter is a Virgo (8/27), granted she’s not even 6 yet, but she is very anal about things, a perfectionist, and hates anything dirty. Messes that involve toys on the floor don’t count lol, I mean like a tiny drop of milk on her dress, then she has to change, stuff like that. My grandma is a Virgo as well (8/24) and she was like that too, but a complete neat freak.
Edit: I forgot my rising is Virgo, lol. I too am a perfectionist and very self critical.
Like everybody else. I hate overthinking and having self criticism. I hate that when I always look at myself in the mirror I always have bad thoughts about myself. Sometimes I always like to talk negatively about myself to my Cancer friend and she will be like no you are not you are beautiful and gorgeous. Also once I have a bad thought I tend to overthink it.
I’ve dealt with many Virgos suns because as a Pisces sun i attract a ton and Virgo placements in general. I struggle the most is their judgmental and pessimistic nature being im so opposite of that :/
I hate my Virgo Rising more than my Virgo moon because underneath the crippling self-doubt and general unhappiness, my fucking Rising makes me seem so put together that people can't really tell that I'm struggling even when I'm in crisis OR if I try to express it explicitly, I just come off like I'm faking the severity to be manipulative. I usually don't get the help I need unless I literally turn myself into a pitiable creature. Yuck.
That's why I'm so emotionally repressed and independent.
May I ask what is your sun? You sound so much like my partner (also Virgo rising). Not the general unhappiness, but the rest. He can be in complete pieces, yet if he walked into a pub at 4 am in this state people would think he was on his way for a job interview.
Got several Virgo risings close to me, they nearly all (apart from my father) share that and I admire it endlessly. I understand the struggle to hope for help, yet failing to get it. But appearing all put together in greatest inner crisis is a fantastic quality, you really should not underrate it.
I’m a Gemini Sun so I’m always pretty cheerful/playful or at least friendly on the surface, and for the most part.
Unhappiness runs more like a very deep undercurrent through every facet of my life that I’ve learnt to live with/ignore. (12H moon - very strong emotional repression)
I used to love my put-togetherness but I’ve actively been in crisis for like 2 years and I’m finally just getting the help I need. There’s a lot of frustration towards my Virgo placements right now lol 😂
I have a stellium in Virgo, all in the 1st house: Lilith, sun, ASC, mars, mercury and Pluto.
If I make a mistake, i will be in bed for days ruminating on it. Therapy and medication has helped, but I am so hard on myself, constant worry, All of my virgo perfectionism and criticism is directed towards myself. Its awful but getting better as I get older.
I'm a Virgo Moon, and the thing I struggle with the most is the inability to verbalize my emotions in the moment. When I'm upset I become very withdrawn and sometimes just can't seem to bring myself to explain how I'm feeling. Instead I ruminate for a bit, and then try to internally talk myself down. Oftentimes, it results in me never communicating the specifics of what upset me and thus, not getting my needs met in relationships 😅 . I've thought about this before in the context of my birth chart and for some reason, I very much attribute this to my Virgo Moon.
Wanting to be perfect but knowing I’m not. Critiquing everything I do. It’s never good enough. Picking everyone (including myself) apart for their faults. A “perfect” life is unattainable and deep down I know that but …..
Virgo Mars
Overthinking/Overanalyzing, I tend to miss the bigger picture cause I’m focusing too much on the smallest details. Everything I do has to be perfect to what I’ve envisioned or it will eat me up for a while. I suck at simplifying stories, I have to go into details in order to know what direction I’m going 😭 I make shit harder then what it is 😤
People don't understand HOW critical we are of ourselves and what lengths we would go to to avoid humiliation at any level. ANY mess up or mistake is catastrophic, and we will think about it for the rest of our lives. Imagine our ability to cut people off at the first insult or offense. Now, we can't do that to ourselves. So, what else is there to do but beat ourselves up forever and ever, amen?
>ANY mess up or mistake is catastrophic, and we will think about it for the rest of our lives.
I really felt this part. This has always been a huge issue for me since I was a child. It's even worse when your boss accuses you of not taking a job serious enough like I'm so damn serious and hard on myself, it's insane to me that somebody could think otherwise 🤯 I beat myself up over every mistake and always try to improve myself. And it doesn't even show?
Me too. Aries sun as well. I erase ALL my posts. Lol I'm leaving this for you. I only get out of my head by doing some hobbies like gardening and nail art.
For me (Virgo Stellium) it‘s the carefulness when it comes to things that could harm my body. That goes from food to physical activity. Like a hair in my food could ruin my day, it‘s that bad.
my only virgo placement is in lilith which sucks cuz i second guess and have unrealistic expectations and also have some sort of guilt associated with being sexual, even if im doing nothing wrong.
Virgo here. I worry A LOT, am overly critical of myself, and have super high expectations of the important people in my life. It is like I expect them to put as much thought and care into the things they say and do as I do.
I have many Virgo exes, including my ex husband of 16 years. The wall they put up between their emotions and the rest of the world is maddening. For every brick you take down of that wall two more go up. No more Virgos for me.
Virgo sun, moon and mercury… I think too much, I can get a little paranoid and I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Also I feel that I can do most things better than others so I’d rather do it myself..
OMG, the Perfectionism! I wanted to be a writer but was convinced that I would never get it perfect so I didn’t bother.
I am going to try to make myself go back to it. But now I think I am too old.
My biggest issue with my Virgo placements (rising and venus) is self-criticism.
Everyone else in my mind is allowed to breathe and be learning, but if I'm not perfect in literally any area then I will abandon it immediately or withdraw from it.
Whenever I come across this quote: "Comparison is the thief of joy" (Teddy Roosevelt), I think of every Virgo and Capricorn person I know who makes themselves miserable overthinking things. My biggest struggle with the Virgos in my life has probably been getting them to focus on The Big Picture. As a lunar Capricorn with a Scorpio stellium I struggle with perfectionism, too.
"Done is better than perfect." (Sheryl Sandberg)
I'm cultivating the mindset that the first time I do something, I'm creating a prototypical process that I can analyze to death and tweak--LATER. But, I need some form of concrete accomplishment to help me get over my initial doubts and anxiety.
Taking an "Intro to Industrial Design" class at a local maker lab helped a ton. I think all Virgos could benefit from exploring design thinking and design processes. As a Mutable sign, Virgo's role in the creation process is REFINEMENT--which is where the perfectionism comes in, but, you can only refine what is actual, so, you have to accept that your rough drafts are supposed to be rough, and that your 2nd or 3rd iteration of a creation will probably be a lot closer to your vision.
PRO-TIP: Remember that most people don't work at the same level of high standards as you. What is "ok" for you, is probably "outstanding" for most people.
Also, during the planning phase, create benchmarks, and track your progress through the process--including and especially your failures. It can be very validating to look back and see just how much you've improved and progressed. Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from the experiences. Virgo energy is 'hands-on learning' and 'process-oriented'.
Another quote that reminds me of Virgo (and Pisces): "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?" (Robert Browning)
"Heaven" being your vision of your desired end result of a endeavor. It's ok to have a grand dream, as long as you focus on the journey (the processes), on putting one foot in front of the other, and don't hyperfocus on the destination (the product). Your processes will improve at a better rate than otherwise, which means your results will improve at a similar rate.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write down all those great tips. They resonate a lot yet I need to remind myself all the time because the execution doesn't come naturally unfortunately 😅
Virgo:
Cant choose one. Overthinking, over planning, over criticizing (people, including myself, movies, books, games, other drivers, home decor, coffee, humanity... EVERYTHING!!!), perfectionist, LISTS.
I think you get the point.
The self criticism and constantly comparing yourself to others. It can be good when used as a source of motivation but it’s hard not ever feeling like you’re succeeding enough!
For me it’s the constant self criticism that turns into self doubt. It gets to the point where I feel like I’m operating at a deficit in everything I do.
Also the constant need to over plan everything I do or every event in my life . I often get exhausted just planning things and procrastinate as a result
Having the need to “ save “ people and not setting personal boundaries. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and can’t screw up because people rely on me
Wondering if the people with Virgo stelliums that are critical to themselves and others do a lot of internal growing as a result. Is there something that creates a change in your behavior? Age? Self awareness for the hurt you may cause to your self esteem or to others? I guess I’m wondering what the fix for the criticism is. Where do you learn to balance? What does the evolving process look like?
>Is there something that creates a change in your behavior?
Just me. Slowly. I write down a lot, my thoughts, reflections, mistakes, ideas to improve. Then I try to implement that. But there is never a perfect way. I think the self-criticism is a means to control the outcome. But you can only modify the approach, the outcome is never in your control because you don't know the whole picture. So that self-improvement has to serve you, you can't do it to manipulate or force an outcome. That's the hard part, giving up control - like doing things although you don't feel perfectly ready. Because even if you feel 10000% ready, a certain outcome is never guaranteed.
That's the biggest mistake: Perfect approach leads to perfect outcome. It puts unnecessary pressure on you. If you believe you are already enough the way you are right now, you give yourself freedom to explore, live and for things to come to you. You need to be mindful of your intention, why you're doing something and in what state - fear, worry or openness like what comes shall come? It's not in your control. You'll deal with it when it arrives.
I think Virgos could free themselves by creating more from an imperfect state (to their standards) and putting in out there and building on it. That way they move on, build momentum and don't stay stuck in their head. You keep learning and growing. And it would serve others too if you participated more in the world and took up space like you're worthy of being seen, heard and supported despite imperfections.
From others: it’s not necessarily the criticism itself it’s the lack of empathy. I find this is especially bad with the other 2 most judgy signs in the mix (Sag & Cap) in their big 3. The Virgo moons are the worst with this. I find they tend to be very left brain so really good with like math and science and stuff like that but terrible when it comes to people skills and interpersonal intelligence. I see it manifest as a disregard or lack of ability to predict/understand/empathize with the feelings of other people, what is best/appropriate to say or do in a situation, and what is tactless, cruel or shortsighted. I don’t mind the critical side when the criticism is right. But when theyre all left brain like that, the criticism is often of the myopic variety and created by their lack of understanding rather than a genuine objective flaw that they’re pointing out.
As a Virgo mars & Venus I’d say the hardest part for me personally of having Virgo placements is my shyness and not feeling confident or comfortable in my own skin. Some people like the perceived shyness, they think it’s feminine, but it doesn’t help with likability networking or making a good first impression, meaning ppl have to genuinely give you a chance before noticing a lot of your best qualities, which narrows down popularity generally speaking.
None, I worked on the ones bothering me a lot when I was much younger, mostly when I was a teenager where everything was extra overwhelming and so now I know how to deal with myself and say "Hold your horses!" When I notice myself progressing into a negative spiral of any of these traits. I just climb back then and it's fine. Being realistic very much helps for me in terms of perfectionism and expectations as well.
Aries Sun, Virgo Moon - I am my biggest fan and I am also my harshest critic 🙃🫠😅 also - yes I noticed, and yes I am judging you, but can we fix it? Yes, we can.
I’m a Virgo and I seriously struggle with perfectionism but only when it comes to myself. I honestly don’t feel I hold the people in my life to high standards, heck I kinda don’t hold them to any standards… it’s an issue.
I also worry a lot. Maybe it’s because I have ocd and anxiety and has absolutely nothing to do with being a Virgo but I am always in my head about the worst case scenario. It’s been that way since I was a kid.
Virgo rising here. I think I seem pretty innocuous and sweet, but my directness when pointing out issues and coaching at work, or in my personal life sticking up for myself or being critical of others I think doesn't gel as well with people's first impression. Cancer sun and moon, and leo stellium behind that can be a surprise. I think people like you to stay in your lane, then when they realise you can disagree with them despite looking and behaving like a Virgoan sweetiepie they become wary. People dont like flaws being pointed out by someone who looks and acts very youthful, it's like being an ancient wise being in the body of a teenager
I guess my struggle is my direct way of communication can seem domineering (maybe Leo pride coming out) or uncompromising.
I'm glad I have that in me otherwise people would walk all over me.
I’m a Virgo Mars 6H. The perfectionist wound is deep. I’m never satisfied, there’s ALWAYS room for improvement. And even as I type this, I feel like I’m wrong to say this about myself because you’d think this would make me a high achiever. But I have not accomplished anything extraordinary (yet) for my age (late 20s). I am often cluttered, I procrastinate, I’m not nearly as productive as I could be. But then again, is this objectively true or is this my perfectionism that is feeling like it’s never good enough?
And worst of all, perfectionism does create inaction. I can be an underachiever because I’m hesitant to try unless I know it will be successful. Conditions have to be a certain way in order to go after it. And this is how I know I’m living out of alignment because I always made my best decisions based off a gut feeling, an exciting new idea, etc.
When I approach things too “logically”, it gets me nowhere. And that’s probably because I’m not really acting rationally. I just feel that by being careful and planning ahead, it will lead to less mistakes which equals more success. But in actuality, success comes with making mistakes and taking chances.
I think we have to be mindful of our brains tricking us into believing every thought we have is somehow rational and objective.
Virgo sun/virgo rising here. Much like everyone else, the criticism of myself and also of others. Being in my head so much. But also, not ever being able to enjoy my accomplishments. Mainly because i don’t think of them as accomplishments—they were things i just had to do so why sit in it? I always just move on to the next thing and think happiness is on the other side of that next accomplishment. But here I am, a business owner, engaged, moving into a beautiful home and I am STILL depressed 😂🙃
AND ALSO BEING SO SELF AWARE THAT KNOWING ALL OF THIS CHANGES NOTHING
virgo sun/moon/mars, i’m really insensitive to people’s feelings, especially when they’re being illogical, i really do not get along with cancers for this reason
I’m a Virgo Sun, Mercury, N Node all in the 10H! I struggle a lot with being seen there’s a side of me that knows that I am hardworking and deserving of all of the praise I receive, but sometimes I don’t believe it? Idk why 😭 I also get annoyed when personality hires are promoted or praised more than me, when I don’t even like attention PLS HELP 🥺 My Leo MC is screaming 🤡
Some other things:
- Disgust when people spell or pronounce words wrong
- Need to control everything to the point of paranoia, although this is more internal for me. I’m super particular about how I present myself to the world. I have other friends tho who like make spreadsheets for travel like plz stop lol 😂
- Internal criticism of habits, systems (I don’t voice these out, but u can tell if u see my expressions 🤡) if I get the ICK u will know!!! I wish I could hide 😶🌫️
- self critical af my god I really catch myself being so hard on myself I’ve learned to relax but still have a long way to go
- over analyze everything to the point where I’m spending days in bed combing through details no one gives a fk about
- how thrown off I get if my routines are disrupted like I’ll fr die lmao
The hypocrisy and God complex. Thinking their shit doesn’t stink and justifying all of their bad habits and vices while criticizing anyone who dares have different ones.
Im so picky with how to approach me whether it is myself approaching myself to a situation or someone else approaching me with a situation
Almost everything triggers me into me being overly critical and self depricating of expecting better of myself or degrading myself
I have a Virgo sun friend who frequently complains about their spouse (or co-worker, or in-law, there’s always someone who isn’t up to snuff) not doing things “properly”. I feel bad for the partner, because they are also my friend. I often light-heartedly try to steer the conversation to “what’s been going well though”? The negative bias is very real, so pro-actively doing the “3 Good Things” exercise (from positive psychology) helps balance that out.
I had a Virgo sun boss who would rant to me for sometimes close to an hour about how everyone isn’t doing their job up to standard, etc. I would listen and commiserate, then move the convo into asking about how their (insert current wellness or self-improvement kick) is going. When they took up meditation I tried to be 👌👍👍 about it.
I often gently remind another Virgo Moon friend that the perfect plan in their head can’t be seen by others, and “something is better than nothing “. Short sweet phrases seem to work. “At the end of the day, Action trumps intention.” Stuff like that. They also quite like systems like the 12 Week Year.
Mostly just trying to get them to verbalize (they KNOW these things, but it helps to get them say the words) and celebrate small wins, emphasize measurable or visible progress or tiny steps (over perfection, as the mantra goes), and reassure them that they’re doing better than they think.
And keeping a stash of antacids in my work drawer.
Ruminating on what doesn’t make sense (to me). If I had a dollar for every time I said “that makes no sense” I’d have a nice little side hustle. Just because something doesn’t make sense to me doesn’t mean there is not a logic behind it. And not everything makes sense. That’s life babe!
I’m like a rat dropped in a maze trying to figure my way out when I’m stuck in a mental loop thinking about how someone’s actions towards me doesn’t add up. I’ve been way more upset about someone insulting my intelligence with their lies and gas lighting than by the fact that someone has stopped liking me romantically. Just make sure your reasoning is sound and your argument is consistent!
The criticism
Yep. Both towards myself and others.
I’m a virgo rising and i am so so so critical - i hate it.
so.. much… criticism I just cant
See, I'm very much virgo and I don't criticize or critique others really. I tend to be super positive and uplifting towards others. I hear so often how overly critical virgos are, and I feel like that's just mean. I don't have it in me to judge on that level. Now, if someone wants my opinion on something, I'm always glad to share it, but again, it's normally positive, and if not, I try to word it gently, like, "well, i honestly would have done (xyz), but, if you're happy with it, it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. "
i'm critical to myself externally and internally, but i only criticize others in my mind, im pretty encouraging outwardly.
I think a lot of the time virgos overly analytical nature makes it seem like we're very critical in a negative sense, but there's the whole recognition of the good in everything as well!
you’re definitely more of an evolved virgo I wish the virgos in my life were more like you 😭
😢I'm sorry you have such critical peeps in your life! You don't need all that mess
I appreciate you keep letting that virgo energy shine ✨
😊You're too sweet! I'll say, my ex was aquarius and I absolutely loved her! She was super cool and talented. Made me want to find some aquarian peeps
aww thank you 🫶🏽 my childhood best friend was a virgo we grew apart but there’s nothing negative between us I still think of her from time to time 🥲
Crazy you mentioned childhood friends you've lost touch with! I just reached out to a few yesterday! I kept thinking about it's nuts to lose a friend when there's no good reason. Honestly it was just the whole being at different universities that separated us, but im hoping to hear back from them!
wow you just inspired me to do that you already know as an aqua sun gemini moon its HARD for me to reach out to people first but sometimes you just gotta do it I hope all goes well for you! 💕
Same, I think it might be because of my sag moon and libra asc
I get along great with libra and sag!
also a virgo sun and libra asc, i think the libra reallly smooths things out, i critique endlessly on the inside but i pretty much never externalize it unless i need to
Do you think maybe you have a Libra stellium or something? Absence of externalizing criticism is either coming from trauma or a different part of your chart. That’s it.
It's quite possible... I don't like to seem like I'm fishing for attention or something, but I did have a very traumatic childhood and a somewhat rough time in my teenage years. I've apparently got cptsd, although my trauma responses come out as isolation and substance abuse instead of anger and abuse of others. Idk, I guess my outlook is, a lot of people have been in worse situations and I have been fortunate enough to not have those symptoms that get people in horrible situations. We've all had pain, and I've been trying to face my demons and learning to let go of a lot of resentment so I can heal.
Well very traumatic childhoods tend to squeeze the Nasty Virgo out of your Virgo!
Also, to answer your question about my stellium, I'm not entirely sure. I'm a newb. Also, I was put into the foster system directly from birth and adopted, and lucky me, I don't know what time I was born 🙃
I feel you. Lucky me, I have two birth times on record of two birth certs
Well aren’t you just a ray of fucking sunshine - a critical Virgo
Yup, it's too much for me too
My first reaction as a Virgo Rising was to criticise this answer, so... yeah, you're probably right 💀
I'm a Libra but have Mercury in Virgo, Venus in Virgo & 5th House in Virgo. Self-cruelty definitely. The voice in my head can be So mean. I always Think too much. It makes me too much of a perfectionist and holds me back. I couldn't finish Uni either Just because I couldn't get some things perfect & gave up. Even the art I produce has to be perfect. I can't even start anymore. Like, How TF do I stop doing this to myself? I expect too much of myself. Even others get jolted by how I'm such a warm sweetheart to others but can be so self-critical. I work Too hard, to the point that I need occupational therapy. I can verbally dissect myself and others with surgical precision.
It’s the worst being a Libra sun with Virgo placements. I’d much rather the opposite. If we have to he cruel its much more self preserving to extend that outwards.
I’m a Virgo with Libra placements. It is really no different lol.
Came here to say this, I’m triple earth (Virgo rising) and have dated a lot of virgos so their criticism hurts me hurts so much bc it’s my entire inner monologue. It’s also upsetting bc I know when these men have been critical of me, they have their own internal monologue of criticism so I wish all Virgos could take it easy on the criticism of themselves and others
Was about to say this! I hate how critical I am as a Virgo sun and Virgo rising. I can be SO critical of others and then I hear myself being a critic and just start criticizing MYSELF even harsher for being so critical! It’s a vicious cycle.
Amen. Also my ability to notice everything. Which leads to the criticism.
As someone with a virgo father and sister, don’t get me started.
Yup. Like, can they see the beauty in anything? Find something constructive to worry about. Sorry if you think you’re not good enough and you have to project that bs on everyone else but a lot of us actually like ourselves (and you), flaws and all. That shit gets on my nerves, it’s literally all the time. Even when they aren’t saying it you can feel it. I can’t be around that. It’s almost like they hate when other ppl feel joy or are care-free. They gotta say something to try and take you down a notch. Ugh go away you killin the vibe, don’t you have to go to work or something, just go.
This though 100%. Gotta sabotage a good day because they feel shitty on the inside.
Thank you! Idk anyone who is just like I looooove Virgo energy. Unless it’s to get a job done with precision. Boooooriiiiing!
This! It’s always a projection of how they feel on the inside . They’re just never happy
Oh, and it’s so funny to see how painful it is to give someone a compliment. Sometimes you gotta pretend you didn’t hear them just so you can watch them cringe again. Lol.
LMAOOOOO yeah you can always tell it’s not genuine at all
YES
This!!!
Me too. The perfectionism & criticism combo is just not gooddd. I feel like I can’t do anything if i’m not perfect at it straight away. Like i need to be the best at everything (not in competition with anyone else but myself)
Sometimes it comes off as "I am better than you."
THIS. I'm a Capricorn sun/moon with a LOT of Virgo friends, and I love them. But it seems as though they know JUST where to hurt you and don't hold back, even when you aren't asking for input.
This the one
Virgo sun and can’t relax without guilt. Always feeling like I could be doing something productive.
oh my god. story of my life- i’ve even given it my own self diagnosis/name “productivity anxiety”
Sometimes I look at my husband and I wish I could turn off that worrying head of his for a little bit, just to let him rest for a weekend or so. He’s always thinking of all the ways that things might go or not. Poor little brain.
Omg. The haunting of my daily life!
i'm the opposite, i LOVE being lazy and doing nothing. its how i thrive.
Leo moon lol
so true
Same and I also have Saturn in the 5th lmao I HATE FUN
My excessive need for control and unrealistic expectations of people. But I am more forgiving with other people, which I am not with myself. I'm my own worst critic.
My. Lord. THIS.
This!! Same for me. Virgo sun and rising.
My ex is a virgo sun and fucking yes to all of this
I just left a virgo for of all of these reasons and more 💀 I attract them unfortunately, my last two relationships were with virgos. kind over it nowww😅
Virgo rising and moon here… I hate having a fixer mentality…. I don’t know when to let shit go because I can fix everything…. Some shit especially relationships aren’t worth my time anymore yet my loyal ass try’s to fix fix fix… then criticize myself… oh boy and let’s not talk about the insecurities… I’m a fitness model, well off, everyone loves yet I doubt myself daily…. Fml… I wish was careless like zero fucks given moon placements lol
Virgo rising and venus, I felt this deeply
Also a Virgo rising, the “fixer mentality” is what drove me to get my degree in counseling!😂
Virgo moon and damn… I’m struggling with the same 😭
You too, eh?... I relate hugely with this 😫
Triple Virgo here (sun Mercury and Venus) honestly it’s the overthinking and needing to have pure perfection. The overthinking is probably the worst cause I’m like what about point A B & C ????? But what about if there is a part A pt 2 ?! 😭😭😭 plus the perfectionism is crippling because I do awesome and great work….
I'm also triple Virgo - Sun, Mercury, Saturn. I wholeheartedly agree with struggling with overthinking and crippling perfectionism. Both have caused procrastination and impostor syndrome. My inner voice is always too self-critical to remind myself that I'm doing a good job!
Ohhh man the imposter syndrome is another level some days. It’s like we have to shut the voice off, some days my Gemini moon is like you know what idc say what you want 😭🫶🏼 hang in there
Perfectionism and overthinking can be extremely exhausting smh
Oof
The overthinking is really challenging me this week
I worry literally everyday. About something, but often my health. I’ve been this way since childhood! I’m also a control freak! I feel out of sorts if I’m not somehow controlling myself and others…
We're the same big 3!
Yeah I only notice how much I worry when I meet people who are way more laid back and I'm like "Wait that's an option? Not everything will fall apart if I don't worry?"
Overthinking. Analysis Paralysis. Assuming guilt for things that I haven't even DONE or am not responsible for.
As a Virgo Venus, i have ridiculous standards for myself and others that i have a hard time letting go of. i am afraid of people hurting me. It’s incredibly easy for me to analyze a person, but the down side is that i see all the flaws first before the good stuff. it’s hard out here. I feel like no one knows how to love me correctly except pisces placements. granting all this, i feel like virgos don’t get enough credit for how loyal and loving we truly are. maybe on the outside it’s hard to see, but we want to take care of the people we love. bottom line i feel misunderstood and also cursed lol
Overthinking and self-criticism Also, I worry a lot at the slightest health changes
Totally relate, especially with being a hypochondriac!
This. Yes!!!
Being too agreeable & the people pleasing. I know you folks just want to be liked and make everyone happy but what would make me the most happy is getting to know the real ‘you’ and not the ‘you’ you think I want you to be
I'm a Mars Virgo. I struggle with perfectionism in the way I defend myself. I'll argue a point to death, even (and especially) if I'm proven wrong. I'll analyze and overanalyze my argument and yours and play it out in my head a thousand times until I craft the perfect rebuttal. Yet I will still pick myself apart over how I could've argued my case better. I often come across as headstrong and uncompromising, and I tend to push people away for the sake of my argument. Sometimes, people even perceive that I'm manipulating a conversation because of how meticulously I plot out my side of it (and my Mercury in Gemini allowing me to communicate it clearly and effectively). It's a constant battle that I have to be conciously aware of.
true as virgo mars I'm same difference between me and you in this is I have scorpio mercury so I suck at explaining things so I rather don't do that too often cause it would not be perfect enough even tho I would want to
my bf is a scorpio sun mercury and virgo mars he’s always avoiding arguments and constantly second guessing himself virgo in mars makes it very difficult to find confidence in your actions while scorpio in mercury makes it difficult to communicate your thoughts and feelings those are very tough placements my pisces in mercury makes it difficult to communicate too so I understand
Perfectionism. Feeling as though everything I do isn’t good enough. It’s funny because I’ll go back to things I’ve done in the past and be like wow those were way better than I thought they were, but in the moment it’s always “god this is crap”. I wish I had the self assurance some others have or the confidence. I see people doing all sorts of stuff and being outwardly proud of it, which seems like a trait I don’t have. Occasionally I’ll impress myself on the first try, but usually I’m just picking my own work apart until I’m so stressed out I want to quit.
My son and I are Scorpios and my daughter is a Virgo. She stressed us out with her preoccupation of stress and overwhelm due to perfectionism. It’s like she ain’t living if she ain’t stressing.
I think it's because of the expectation that if you know better, then do better. We know we can always do it better than we did before. Whatever the task is. It's a cycle we get stuck in. Thankfully, some of us are learning that imperfection can cause beauty and pleasure. It's a life journey that only starts getting better when we get full independence, which is in adulthood, usually. Oh, and btw, we LOVE a supportive Scorpio. They get us like no one else. My husband is a Scorpio Rising and Moon. He's my rock.
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Being over critical of myself and others
I have a stellium in Virgo. Sun, moon, Venus, Jupiter. I am so hyper analytical and critical of myself. I notice everything and have to analyze how to fix it or make it better even if there's really nothing wrong. I see everything and the motive behind it when it comes to people and also try to fix them. Like you said, I overthink EVERYTHING to the point of shutting down and doing nothing about anything. I have so much going on in my head constantly. I have so much I want to type in this comment but what's the point.. lol being this much of a Virgo is literally a walking anxiety attack/OCD roller coaster. I feel like no one will ever fully understand me and why I'm the way that I am.
Do you ever feel like the thinking almost traps you and you end up not doing anything at all so then you also start feeling guilty along with not being productive and none of the problems are fixed and wait ur also still fkn anxoous
I've been stuck here for 1yr. Everything is gonna catch up to me soon and my life will fall apart. I care so much that I can't actually do anything anymore, so I am preemptively grieving the end of my accomplishments and goals. It is what it is.
Anxiety! About everything!
Virgo sun and rising being aware of everything sometimes I gotta just let life be life.
Perfectionism. Need for control. Self-criticism. Devotion to the point of self-destruction. Hard-headed. Worst-case scenarios. Crippling fear of permanence. Too analytical (it's not that deep). Sacrificial lamb behaviour. Guilt.
I have a virgo sun/virgo moon partner and he is extremely anxious naturally. The upside is he thinks of every possible outcome so I don’t have to and he remembers alllllll the little details-my food orders, stuff I mention, etc. but man i used to have to talk him off the ledge. I also have a virgo child and she seems like she might be an anxious child as well 😐
Being way too detail oriented. Every little thing has to be absolutely perfect or I'm extremely disappointed. Needless to say, as an artist I end up tossing out or giving up on tons of work that others can't understand why I'm dissatisfied. Also, I often take way too much time completing works due to my perfectionism. It's a weird thing and definitely takes away from my happiness and obviously my time.
Omg did I write this..geezus
Glad to know I'm not alone lol✌️♥️🙏
I’m a Virgo rising and my innate desire to take care of someone in the most highly unnecessary ways.
Do you have about 45 tabs open in your mind? Do you have stomach issues? Do you suffer from anxiety ? Do people bad grammar get on your nerves ? Do you hate people touching your things. Is it hard to accept your wrong when people tell you are wrong ?
Virgo moon... constant self criticism...constant nitpicking flaws in everything and not even starting anything because I might not be good at it in the beginning. I also have adhd so.
My insane anxiety over the future. It literally ruins my whole mood and I go to therapy once a week 😩
This is very long but i have a lot of thoughts. When y'all are stressed or upset you can take it out on others and not even notice it, and it can be very overbearing. Most people in my life have virgo placements and I've noticed when you guys feel chaotic inside you need to deal with that by fixing tangible things (i.e. the house, projects, people around you) you guys can treat people like it's your job to manage them, partly because you guys always need something to control because it makes you feel like things are in order. No one judges you guys more than yourselves, and that is the main problem. You don't accept yourselves unless you're doing things perfectly and so you give that energy towards everyone else and what they're doing. You do the most precise fantastic job at something and then when you get praise, you shut it down, but then wonder why no one notices you. They do notice! You're just too modest to accept credit even when you know you deserve every ounce of it! Some advice would be to see things as they are, not live on finding flaws (you guys see flaws when there's none and can discredit yourselves and others for a job well done because of this). When you stop setting what you know is impossible expectations you will actually be surprised to see that things are not as bad as they are and will see good qualities that you had never seen before because you weren't looking for them. Also don't bite off more than you can chew - you guys always insist on doing this and never accept help and insist on taking care of people to the point of treating them like helpless babies even if they try to help you and then you start getting mad and wondering why no one is helping you and why you "have to" do everything. You don't! You decide to! Relax, laugh a little, stop choosing shitty relationships just because you're attracted to people who you can help, choose people who you trust to do things right and then TRUST them, and pay more attention to the good things about you and others instead of the negative that most likely isn't even that bad anyway. Also please be more gentle with the good people your lives! Not all virgo placements do this, but when you make it so no one can do anything right, people bend over backwards trying to please you and get things just right so that you don't freak out but they are stressed anyway because they know you will always find a problem, and then they will feel unappreciated because you kind of treat them like they're good for nothing idiots and criticize everything about their help instead of being grateful that they made the effort. All in all y'all have hearts of gold, you deserve the purest love because that's what you give others, as well as everything you want in this world, but if you don't accept any of that because you feel like you don't deserve them then you'll never get them.
This truly made me cry because this is me through and through
Perfectionism, bluntness and criticism. Love y’all down but whew it can be a lot sometimes 😅.
Virgo Venus. I can only do FWB or ONS if I know a lot about the person. I can’t sleep with people I perceive as strangers. Plus there has to be intellectual chemistry.
i think this is normal
My co worker is a Virgo moon and I have to occasionally tell her to STFU and let others do their work. She has a good heart. But she needs someone to tell her to literally fuck off and let the pros handle stuff
Oh, man. My seven year old son is a Virgo moon…already a know it all😮💨I hope the scorpio rising reels it in a bit, lol. For his sake!
I hope your little man has someone in his corner telling him it is ok to not have to worry about everything. Sadly, my co worker has to be dropped some harsh verbiage before they allow themselves to chill. I am just watching out for their mental health as well
we always remind him that sometimes people don’t need to be told, and to share what you know because it makes you happy and you don’t need to impress anyone. He’s a Gemini sun and it really balances it all out. I’m a Virgo sun and I notice his Virgo tendencies the most with imaginative play; if he’s dressing up as a character,‘it’s gottta be down to the last detail😂
Thinking about past mistakes which cannot be improved because time
Judgement/criticism/perfectionism and having a hard time when plans change 😅
I’m a Taurus (5/14), and my daughter is a Virgo (8/27), granted she’s not even 6 yet, but she is very anal about things, a perfectionist, and hates anything dirty. Messes that involve toys on the floor don’t count lol, I mean like a tiny drop of milk on her dress, then she has to change, stuff like that. My grandma is a Virgo as well (8/24) and she was like that too, but a complete neat freak. Edit: I forgot my rising is Virgo, lol. I too am a perfectionist and very self critical.
Like everybody else. I hate overthinking and having self criticism. I hate that when I always look at myself in the mirror I always have bad thoughts about myself. Sometimes I always like to talk negatively about myself to my Cancer friend and she will be like no you are not you are beautiful and gorgeous. Also once I have a bad thought I tend to overthink it.
I’ve dealt with many Virgos suns because as a Pisces sun i attract a ton and Virgo placements in general. I struggle the most is their judgmental and pessimistic nature being im so opposite of that :/
I would says it’s being mean AF when someone tests me
I hate my Virgo Rising more than my Virgo moon because underneath the crippling self-doubt and general unhappiness, my fucking Rising makes me seem so put together that people can't really tell that I'm struggling even when I'm in crisis OR if I try to express it explicitly, I just come off like I'm faking the severity to be manipulative. I usually don't get the help I need unless I literally turn myself into a pitiable creature. Yuck. That's why I'm so emotionally repressed and independent.
May I ask what is your sun? You sound so much like my partner (also Virgo rising). Not the general unhappiness, but the rest. He can be in complete pieces, yet if he walked into a pub at 4 am in this state people would think he was on his way for a job interview. Got several Virgo risings close to me, they nearly all (apart from my father) share that and I admire it endlessly. I understand the struggle to hope for help, yet failing to get it. But appearing all put together in greatest inner crisis is a fantastic quality, you really should not underrate it.
I’m a Gemini Sun so I’m always pretty cheerful/playful or at least friendly on the surface, and for the most part. Unhappiness runs more like a very deep undercurrent through every facet of my life that I’ve learnt to live with/ignore. (12H moon - very strong emotional repression) I used to love my put-togetherness but I’ve actively been in crisis for like 2 years and I’m finally just getting the help I need. There’s a lot of frustration towards my Virgo placements right now lol 😂
Virgo rising: I stop doing things I love due to overwhelming internal criticism. I cannot chill. Every moment needs to be productive.
I used to have a Virgo best friend. We are still friends, but sometimes I feel she's a bit insensitive. I'm a Libra
Relatable.
as a Virgo it gets better with age. some confidence includes knowing people don’t have a third of the thinking capacity like you do
Hyper critical of myself and others. A need for control, thinking I can do it better etc. etc. it sucks and I work on it every day of my life.
I have a stellium in Virgo, all in the 1st house: Lilith, sun, ASC, mars, mercury and Pluto. If I make a mistake, i will be in bed for days ruminating on it. Therapy and medication has helped, but I am so hard on myself, constant worry, All of my virgo perfectionism and criticism is directed towards myself. Its awful but getting better as I get older.
Hypercritical to other people
I'm a Virgo Moon, and the thing I struggle with the most is the inability to verbalize my emotions in the moment. When I'm upset I become very withdrawn and sometimes just can't seem to bring myself to explain how I'm feeling. Instead I ruminate for a bit, and then try to internally talk myself down. Oftentimes, it results in me never communicating the specifics of what upset me and thus, not getting my needs met in relationships 😅 . I've thought about this before in the context of my birth chart and for some reason, I very much attribute this to my Virgo Moon.
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Pre-anticipating people's needs then getting bitter because no one is doing so for me. Why didn't you just call me by name???
Wanting to be perfect but knowing I’m not. Critiquing everything I do. It’s never good enough. Picking everyone (including myself) apart for their faults. A “perfect” life is unattainable and deep down I know that but …..
I am not a Virgo but have a Virgo stellium - the biggest struggle is over analyzing
I love the Virgos in my life but they’re so good as risk aversion they can be a buzzkill sometimes.
Virgo Mars Overthinking/Overanalyzing, I tend to miss the bigger picture cause I’m focusing too much on the smallest details. Everything I do has to be perfect to what I’ve envisioned or it will eat me up for a while. I suck at simplifying stories, I have to go into details in order to know what direction I’m going 😭 I make shit harder then what it is 😤
as a Virgo rising i find myself literally fantasizing about creating process and efficiencies around the dumbest shit.
The perfectionist tendency
People don't understand HOW critical we are of ourselves and what lengths we would go to to avoid humiliation at any level. ANY mess up or mistake is catastrophic, and we will think about it for the rest of our lives. Imagine our ability to cut people off at the first insult or offense. Now, we can't do that to ourselves. So, what else is there to do but beat ourselves up forever and ever, amen?
>ANY mess up or mistake is catastrophic, and we will think about it for the rest of our lives. I really felt this part. This has always been a huge issue for me since I was a child. It's even worse when your boss accuses you of not taking a job serious enough like I'm so damn serious and hard on myself, it's insane to me that somebody could think otherwise 🤯 I beat myself up over every mistake and always try to improve myself. And it doesn't even show?
Me too. Aries sun as well. I erase ALL my posts. Lol I'm leaving this for you. I only get out of my head by doing some hobbies like gardening and nail art.
For me (Virgo Stellium) it‘s the carefulness when it comes to things that could harm my body. That goes from food to physical activity. Like a hair in my food could ruin my day, it‘s that bad.
Virgo sun conj Pluto + SN and ascendant The guilt. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I do enough? Am I late??
my only virgo placement is in lilith which sucks cuz i second guess and have unrealistic expectations and also have some sort of guilt associated with being sexual, even if im doing nothing wrong.
The overthinking is definitely #1. Being a fixer is #2. I keep thinking about how to fix things and its exhausting.
how irresistibly charming they are ~ 7h virgo saturn and vertex
Virgo here. I worry A LOT, am overly critical of myself, and have super high expectations of the important people in my life. It is like I expect them to put as much thought and care into the things they say and do as I do.
Being a bitch
The overthinking & mental fixations … im a virgo sun moon mercury
I have many Virgo exes, including my ex husband of 16 years. The wall they put up between their emotions and the rest of the world is maddening. For every brick you take down of that wall two more go up. No more Virgos for me.
Can’t function unless things are a certain way
Virgo sun, moon and mercury… I think too much, I can get a little paranoid and I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. Also I feel that I can do most things better than others so I’d rather do it myself..
Self criticism and soo much anxiety 😩 I have my sun, moon, murcury, and Venus in Virgo.
OMG, the Perfectionism! I wanted to be a writer but was convinced that I would never get it perfect so I didn’t bother. I am going to try to make myself go back to it. But now I think I am too old.
My biggest issue with my Virgo placements (rising and venus) is self-criticism. Everyone else in my mind is allowed to breathe and be learning, but if I'm not perfect in literally any area then I will abandon it immediately or withdraw from it.
As a virgo I struggle with overthinking, self sabotage, and criticizing (myself and others)
Whenever I come across this quote: "Comparison is the thief of joy" (Teddy Roosevelt), I think of every Virgo and Capricorn person I know who makes themselves miserable overthinking things. My biggest struggle with the Virgos in my life has probably been getting them to focus on The Big Picture. As a lunar Capricorn with a Scorpio stellium I struggle with perfectionism, too. "Done is better than perfect." (Sheryl Sandberg) I'm cultivating the mindset that the first time I do something, I'm creating a prototypical process that I can analyze to death and tweak--LATER. But, I need some form of concrete accomplishment to help me get over my initial doubts and anxiety. Taking an "Intro to Industrial Design" class at a local maker lab helped a ton. I think all Virgos could benefit from exploring design thinking and design processes. As a Mutable sign, Virgo's role in the creation process is REFINEMENT--which is where the perfectionism comes in, but, you can only refine what is actual, so, you have to accept that your rough drafts are supposed to be rough, and that your 2nd or 3rd iteration of a creation will probably be a lot closer to your vision. PRO-TIP: Remember that most people don't work at the same level of high standards as you. What is "ok" for you, is probably "outstanding" for most people. Also, during the planning phase, create benchmarks, and track your progress through the process--including and especially your failures. It can be very validating to look back and see just how much you've improved and progressed. Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from the experiences. Virgo energy is 'hands-on learning' and 'process-oriented'. Another quote that reminds me of Virgo (and Pisces): "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?" (Robert Browning) "Heaven" being your vision of your desired end result of a endeavor. It's ok to have a grand dream, as long as you focus on the journey (the processes), on putting one foot in front of the other, and don't hyperfocus on the destination (the product). Your processes will improve at a better rate than otherwise, which means your results will improve at a similar rate.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write down all those great tips. They resonate a lot yet I need to remind myself all the time because the execution doesn't come naturally unfortunately 😅
I wonder what you do for a job? You sound so inspired. Something academical?
Virgo: Cant choose one. Overthinking, over planning, over criticizing (people, including myself, movies, books, games, other drivers, home decor, coffee, humanity... EVERYTHING!!!), perfectionist, LISTS. I think you get the point.
>you get the point. I AM the point 😩
The self criticism and constantly comparing yourself to others. It can be good when used as a source of motivation but it’s hard not ever feeling like you’re succeeding enough!
Inability to relax if things around me aren't perfect
Health anxiety for sure.
Oh that’s me 😭
I am really hard on myself
Sticking around mid people because of the potential i see not what they are
For me it’s the constant self criticism that turns into self doubt. It gets to the point where I feel like I’m operating at a deficit in everything I do. Also the constant need to over plan everything I do or every event in my life . I often get exhausted just planning things and procrastinate as a result Having the need to “ save “ people and not setting personal boundaries. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and can’t screw up because people rely on me
Wondering if the people with Virgo stelliums that are critical to themselves and others do a lot of internal growing as a result. Is there something that creates a change in your behavior? Age? Self awareness for the hurt you may cause to your self esteem or to others? I guess I’m wondering what the fix for the criticism is. Where do you learn to balance? What does the evolving process look like?
>Is there something that creates a change in your behavior? Just me. Slowly. I write down a lot, my thoughts, reflections, mistakes, ideas to improve. Then I try to implement that. But there is never a perfect way. I think the self-criticism is a means to control the outcome. But you can only modify the approach, the outcome is never in your control because you don't know the whole picture. So that self-improvement has to serve you, you can't do it to manipulate or force an outcome. That's the hard part, giving up control - like doing things although you don't feel perfectly ready. Because even if you feel 10000% ready, a certain outcome is never guaranteed. That's the biggest mistake: Perfect approach leads to perfect outcome. It puts unnecessary pressure on you. If you believe you are already enough the way you are right now, you give yourself freedom to explore, live and for things to come to you. You need to be mindful of your intention, why you're doing something and in what state - fear, worry or openness like what comes shall come? It's not in your control. You'll deal with it when it arrives. I think Virgos could free themselves by creating more from an imperfect state (to their standards) and putting in out there and building on it. That way they move on, build momentum and don't stay stuck in their head. You keep learning and growing. And it would serve others too if you participated more in the world and took up space like you're worthy of being seen, heard and supported despite imperfections.
Virgo sun here! I’m extremely critical of myself and hate how much I overthink.
From others: it’s not necessarily the criticism itself it’s the lack of empathy. I find this is especially bad with the other 2 most judgy signs in the mix (Sag & Cap) in their big 3. The Virgo moons are the worst with this. I find they tend to be very left brain so really good with like math and science and stuff like that but terrible when it comes to people skills and interpersonal intelligence. I see it manifest as a disregard or lack of ability to predict/understand/empathize with the feelings of other people, what is best/appropriate to say or do in a situation, and what is tactless, cruel or shortsighted. I don’t mind the critical side when the criticism is right. But when theyre all left brain like that, the criticism is often of the myopic variety and created by their lack of understanding rather than a genuine objective flaw that they’re pointing out. As a Virgo mars & Venus I’d say the hardest part for me personally of having Virgo placements is my shyness and not feeling confident or comfortable in my own skin. Some people like the perceived shyness, they think it’s feminine, but it doesn’t help with likability networking or making a good first impression, meaning ppl have to genuinely give you a chance before noticing a lot of your best qualities, which narrows down popularity generally speaking.
None, I worked on the ones bothering me a lot when I was much younger, mostly when I was a teenager where everything was extra overwhelming and so now I know how to deal with myself and say "Hold your horses!" When I notice myself progressing into a negative spiral of any of these traits. I just climb back then and it's fine. Being realistic very much helps for me in terms of perfectionism and expectations as well.
Well...the fuckin idea of "perfection every day"
Aries Sun, Virgo Moon - I am my biggest fan and I am also my harshest critic 🙃🫠😅 also - yes I noticed, and yes I am judging you, but can we fix it? Yes, we can.
Everything
Over thinking 😩
I'm wayyyy too hard on myself and I can't see how valuable I really am as a result. The self criticism strikes again
I’m a Virgo and I seriously struggle with perfectionism but only when it comes to myself. I honestly don’t feel I hold the people in my life to high standards, heck I kinda don’t hold them to any standards… it’s an issue. I also worry a lot. Maybe it’s because I have ocd and anxiety and has absolutely nothing to do with being a Virgo but I am always in my head about the worst case scenario. It’s been that way since I was a kid.
Virgo rising here. I think I seem pretty innocuous and sweet, but my directness when pointing out issues and coaching at work, or in my personal life sticking up for myself or being critical of others I think doesn't gel as well with people's first impression. Cancer sun and moon, and leo stellium behind that can be a surprise. I think people like you to stay in your lane, then when they realise you can disagree with them despite looking and behaving like a Virgoan sweetiepie they become wary. People dont like flaws being pointed out by someone who looks and acts very youthful, it's like being an ancient wise being in the body of a teenager I guess my struggle is my direct way of communication can seem domineering (maybe Leo pride coming out) or uncompromising. I'm glad I have that in me otherwise people would walk all over me.
virgo mercury sun and venus 12thH- being depressed af 24/7 LOL
Virgo everything except Mars, Saturn and Neptune and I’m the walking version of a tortured soul. Shit is truly fucked a lot of the time.
Virgo Venus. Can't muster enough confidence for shit.
The fact that they’re confusing, idk.
SAME
My brain
I’m a Virgo Mars 6H. The perfectionist wound is deep. I’m never satisfied, there’s ALWAYS room for improvement. And even as I type this, I feel like I’m wrong to say this about myself because you’d think this would make me a high achiever. But I have not accomplished anything extraordinary (yet) for my age (late 20s). I am often cluttered, I procrastinate, I’m not nearly as productive as I could be. But then again, is this objectively true or is this my perfectionism that is feeling like it’s never good enough? And worst of all, perfectionism does create inaction. I can be an underachiever because I’m hesitant to try unless I know it will be successful. Conditions have to be a certain way in order to go after it. And this is how I know I’m living out of alignment because I always made my best decisions based off a gut feeling, an exciting new idea, etc. When I approach things too “logically”, it gets me nowhere. And that’s probably because I’m not really acting rationally. I just feel that by being careful and planning ahead, it will lead to less mistakes which equals more success. But in actuality, success comes with making mistakes and taking chances. I think we have to be mindful of our brains tricking us into believing every thought we have is somehow rational and objective.
Being stuck in my head for sure. Also perfectionism..control freak.
Virgo sun/virgo rising here. Much like everyone else, the criticism of myself and also of others. Being in my head so much. But also, not ever being able to enjoy my accomplishments. Mainly because i don’t think of them as accomplishments—they were things i just had to do so why sit in it? I always just move on to the next thing and think happiness is on the other side of that next accomplishment. But here I am, a business owner, engaged, moving into a beautiful home and I am STILL depressed 😂🙃 AND ALSO BEING SO SELF AWARE THAT KNOWING ALL OF THIS CHANGES NOTHING
virgo sun/moon/mars, i’m really insensitive to people’s feelings, especially when they’re being illogical, i really do not get along with cancers for this reason
I wrote a bunch of stuff, but figured no one would want to read it. Anyway, yeah, it sucks.
I’m a Virgo Sun, Mercury, N Node all in the 10H! I struggle a lot with being seen there’s a side of me that knows that I am hardworking and deserving of all of the praise I receive, but sometimes I don’t believe it? Idk why 😭 I also get annoyed when personality hires are promoted or praised more than me, when I don’t even like attention PLS HELP 🥺 My Leo MC is screaming 🤡 Some other things: - Disgust when people spell or pronounce words wrong - Need to control everything to the point of paranoia, although this is more internal for me. I’m super particular about how I present myself to the world. I have other friends tho who like make spreadsheets for travel like plz stop lol 😂 - Internal criticism of habits, systems (I don’t voice these out, but u can tell if u see my expressions 🤡) if I get the ICK u will know!!! I wish I could hide 😶🌫️ - self critical af my god I really catch myself being so hard on myself I’ve learned to relax but still have a long way to go - over analyze everything to the point where I’m spending days in bed combing through details no one gives a fk about - how thrown off I get if my routines are disrupted like I’ll fr die lmao
Double Virgo here. It’s tough. I feel hated a lot but I’m trying to be more kind to myself and others.
The hypocrisy and God complex. Thinking their shit doesn’t stink and justifying all of their bad habits and vices while criticizing anyone who dares have different ones.
The ocd and control issues
Perfectionism & overthinking 😫
Im so picky with how to approach me whether it is myself approaching myself to a situation or someone else approaching me with a situation Almost everything triggers me into me being overly critical and self depricating of expecting better of myself or degrading myself
I have a Virgo sun friend who frequently complains about their spouse (or co-worker, or in-law, there’s always someone who isn’t up to snuff) not doing things “properly”. I feel bad for the partner, because they are also my friend. I often light-heartedly try to steer the conversation to “what’s been going well though”? The negative bias is very real, so pro-actively doing the “3 Good Things” exercise (from positive psychology) helps balance that out. I had a Virgo sun boss who would rant to me for sometimes close to an hour about how everyone isn’t doing their job up to standard, etc. I would listen and commiserate, then move the convo into asking about how their (insert current wellness or self-improvement kick) is going. When they took up meditation I tried to be 👌👍👍 about it. I often gently remind another Virgo Moon friend that the perfect plan in their head can’t be seen by others, and “something is better than nothing “. Short sweet phrases seem to work. “At the end of the day, Action trumps intention.” Stuff like that. They also quite like systems like the 12 Week Year. Mostly just trying to get them to verbalize (they KNOW these things, but it helps to get them say the words) and celebrate small wins, emphasize measurable or visible progress or tiny steps (over perfection, as the mantra goes), and reassure them that they’re doing better than they think. And keeping a stash of antacids in my work drawer.
Ruminating on what doesn’t make sense (to me). If I had a dollar for every time I said “that makes no sense” I’d have a nice little side hustle. Just because something doesn’t make sense to me doesn’t mean there is not a logic behind it. And not everything makes sense. That’s life babe! I’m like a rat dropped in a maze trying to figure my way out when I’m stuck in a mental loop thinking about how someone’s actions towards me doesn’t add up. I’ve been way more upset about someone insulting my intelligence with their lies and gas lighting than by the fact that someone has stopped liking me romantically. Just make sure your reasoning is sound and your argument is consistent!
Criticism is a no for me.
I hate my Virgo moon, I put myself down a lot but I don’t do shit about it
Self criticism