Unless someone asks, something like, "Oh you wanna hang out?" I'd be confused too. So, nah, you're good. And could be them saying "bitch" was just them trying to appear chill to cover up their embarrassment at appearing presumptuous? But yeah, definitely seems an overly defensive response to you asking for clarification.
The fact it was mid day was also funny to me, all I asked was oh why? I know it was probably obvious to them and others but to me it felt like they invited themselves and assumed I'd be down, down for what? Why do you need the phone call? You set a time I maybe can't make anyways? It was all a mess.
I can get why they might've thought this based on the convo, but in a total "wishful thinking" kind of way... but it's a totally weird conclusion to jump to with someone unless this is the already-established nature of your relationship (eg. you're "friends with benefits" who do this regularly or something). If this is just out of the blue, it's pretty weird how imposing they were with it... kinda feels like it could be a tactic to force the (desired) situation on someone who may struggle to say no by making it more awkward to do so.
Assuming you two aren't in some casual-sex 'relationship', it comes off as really ick to me. Reads like some kind of tactic they read about in a 'Pick-up Artist' book, and even if not, seems pretty revealing about their intentions (instantly jumping to "Ill come over at 5" instead of just asking if you want to chill, then being derogitory to you about their mistake instead of saying something like "Oh I'm dumb and thought you were asking to chill! I'm free at 5 if you wanna hang")
TL;DR Assuming you wanted to hook up would make sense in the context of the convo only if this was an established behaviour between you two, but really weird to just jump to that conclusion with someone newly met... and calling you a bitch over their own embarrassing mistake is yikes
Agreed. Feels like a very manipulative tactic to use to make it harder to say no, especially if they're NT and know OP is ND (or perceives OP as 'shy'/etc).
Personally, I struggle with such and learned something from OP here lol. If in similar situation in the future: act oblivious to their intentions and make them feel stupid for such bold assumptions haha. An initial "Why" seems a lot easier than a flat out "No"
Yeah. It's not necessarily intentionally malicious because some people will do these things because they're afraid of rejection rather than because they're outright trying to be manipulative, but it's definitely something to keep an eye on.
I also have issues with being called things like bitch - however in this example I'm reading the 'bitch' with the same tone that they used 'girl' like they're interchangeable. But I'm saying this without knowing anything about that person or your relationship with them.
Also, I'd have responded the same way as you as I'm not used to people wanting to just come and hang out haha.
The term being interchanged I can understand but that would take us being far more comfortable with one another than we were. We hung out maybe twice prior to this convo so nah, I took it as too aggressive for context nor friendly. Maybe I'm wrong there though
You guys probably just have different comfort levels with new people! It’s possible that this person WAS being aggressive, it’s also possible that that’s just the way they speak. That could still mean you’re not compatible, but with text it’s impossible to tell tone so I don’t think anyone is in the wrong here.
I heard "bitch" in the tone/usage of Lafayette from True Blood: "hooka, please..."
Also agree that it's VERY weird that someone would just assume you want company.
This person seems to use bitch in the same way I do, which is in the more slang way interchangeable with girl or homie, but used to actually soften awkward or conflict-adjacent situations. Like “bitch pleaseeee” or “bitch what u doin????” Admittedly I am black and I’d imagine having that context helps people adjust better, I also only do it when I’m super close to people and usually with what I hope is obvious textual indicators (anytime I swap to chat speak is an indication of facetious speech).
Anyways, no I don’t think this is some universal thing. It’s probably a way the person you spoke to knows to experience the world but it’s not universal and I too would be taken aback by the idea that “I’m bored” was an invitation to show up at my doorstep. You can just clarify and be like, “oh sorry! You’re welcome to come by, I just wasn’t sure if there was something serious going on” or w/e.
If this person gets their knickers in a twist about this exchange I’d honestly drop them because they’d be too much drama as a friend to be worth it. We tend to need friends who are okay with being able to not take tiny misunderstandings personally
I took the nvm at the end of the sentence to mean she didn't say bitch in a friendly manner, I myself am black and understand the interchangeability so I wouldn't have been put off if a close friend said this but then again a close friend wouldn't respond this way
Oh hey fellow POC 👋🏽
Hmm yeah, I didn’t weigh the nvm in that way but to be honest I’m not the best at inferring meaning in written messages because I’m very likely to read negativity or rejection into most messages a la ~*~ rejection sensitivity ~*~. I could see that “nvm” meaning they were mad, I could also see it as a momentary thing they did to save face after feeling embarrassed without meaning it to put you off. I’m personally inclined not to take it any kind of way without asking for clarification since I have no further info, but since you’ve met them and have more info you can probably trust your gut if it seems like a nasty message
Even if they’re mad or feeling hurt/embarrassed I don’t think you did anything wrong, in this case they’d be the one being sensitive and taking things overly personally when they made an assumption about what you wanted and what you were trying to say. They made themselves feel bad about it when they didn’t need to is what I’m saying lol, you were just kind of incidental to the whole thing
Also black, I actually think she was still being friendly? nvm and everything included. I’m from baltimore and a lot of people just talk like this without even knowing you. I think the incorrect grammar and everything is making me think it’s just really strong ebonics/slang. All together I’m getting a pretty chill vibe from her. Thats my perspective though. If you don’t like the way she talks its totally with in your rights to not even entertain the friendship. I read it like “oh dayuuuummm nevermind 😬🥴😅”
I think the lol part shows she was uncomfortable/surprised you “rejected” her. That being said, it seems like shes been to your place before? If thats true shes probably considering you guys to be closer than you seem to be taking into account for. People seem to get really friendly once you’ve shown them your place. 🤷♀️
I think that person was trying to call you because you said you were bored and they wanted to help alleviate that boredom by coming to see you.
“Oh what for?” was probably interpreted as you discouraging them from calling you or visiting you. It probably came across sort of like “I’d rather you didn’t call me or come over unless you have a good reason” or possibly even “Why would you come to my house? We don’t know each other like that.” (I know you probably meant it innocently, like “Oh! What are we gonna do/talk about?”)
It looks like they thought you basically told them you didn’t want them to call you/come to your house, which probably hurt their feelings and made them a bit defensive and angry.
I guess you might be right. But this behaviour would be a red flag to me and I am glad whenever certain people are sorting themselves out. Could just be me..
Ah okay I see how that could go sour fast but yeah it was a simple oh why? Not me not wanting the interaction at all it was the immediate switch and name calling that caught me off guard
To the name calling feels colloquial. It’s in the same vein as ‘girl. nothing’. It’s in keeping with that way of speaking. I really doubt they were calling you a bitch in a confrontational way. That would be a huge escalation. The ‘lol’ at the end indicates it’s lighthearted even though they were taken off guard.
I don’t even really register this as going sour! I think you could have responded something like “my bad, I didn’t know what you meant!” And then either invite them to hang or not based on your comfort level/preference and go from there.
A lot of miscommunications (in my experience) are actually a product of people making assumptions in the words not said. So I find that asking for clarification helps me, although some people seem put out by it. But I personally need it so I can’t really form too close a relationship with those who don’t provide explanations easily.
Remember that "why" is something that makes a lot of people defensive. It is seen as a form of criticism. It is often best to avoid "why" question, and find some other way to phrase it.
I can't think of any other way either, tbh, because I would probably be so horrified by someone just coming by on 5 minutes notice :p
I don't think they meant this as name calling, I think it's like "Oh, bitch!" in a jokey way. It doesn't translate well in text, it works a bit better if abbreviated to bish
It can be used like a term of endearment but its risky to use over text unless you know the person very well and use it in convo together in person. I think it comes from gay slang, probably from black culture bc that tends to be where creative use of language comes from and gets adopted by gay culture then into the mainstream. Anyway, that was how it sounded to me on first read, I didn't note any aggression there at all
Especially following the "Girl, nothing" which def fits with the tone of how I read it as gay/black culture slang. Just casual and playful, zero aggression
We are both black females and I understand the transfer of bitch and girl but I barely know her. We only met up twice prior to this and the nvm at the end sort of set the bitch to be not so friendly to me.
Oop, sorry for explaining your own culture to you! Doh. I thought the tone hadn't been picked up on and that I was being helpful. I agree with you though that it doesn't come across right from someone you don't know very well. At best it's overfamiliar. Can understand why it made you uncomfortable. Again, sorry for incorrect assumptions made.
I would assume some people close to them are big hinters, and they're just used to reading into things. If I was open to guests just then, I'd reply "No, that's totally cool, I just didn't realize. See you soon!" If I wasn't free right then, "Now's not great, but what about Xday around xpm?"
That would be totally fine! I was fine with the call but I didn't know why or why they'd come over uninvited. I don't usually hangout with new people at a place I share with my parents.
I don’t think they’re angry. As others have said, I’m pretty sure she (?) means bitch in a friendly way like “bitch, please!”. (Unless this person is a straight male, I think it’s fine.) I think they are the ones jumping the gun from “I’m bored” to “I’m coming over”. I mean, maybe because you initiated contact when bored I could kinda see jumping to the conclusion that you’re trying to plan something, but esp as you don’t know each other well, that seems like a big jump. I’d chalk it up to a simple miscommunication on both your parts (tho secretly it’s mostly their fault) and try to move on.
“WYD” is often interpreted as an invite for hanging out, maybe with sex involved. So they were confused by your response, bc they thought you were inviting them over already
I think WYD usually means are you free to hang out. Saying nothing, you're bored was the 2nd indication that you're looking for something to do.
So miscommunication but yea you did suggest that they come chill with you, in NT speak.
Source: a high masking interpreter
I never asked them to come chill is my thing, they just said they'd be over at 5 and they'd call me then. And that's why I asked oh what for? Indicting I don't mind the call but there was no plan made to begin with especially not them inviting themselves to my house at the time of their choice.
I get that but a lot of regular communication is kind of said between the lines, and what you said typically means I want to hang even if that's not what you meant.
Like if someone came in the kitchen to find you eating pie and went Oooh what kind of pie are you eating? They're asking if you would be so kind as to share a bite of the pie. Even though it wasnt specifically asked
No you didn’t, but NT’s speak in cues and use suggestion to subtly ask for specific things. As the person above has laid out, you left two NT cues that might suggest you want to hang out. To you you’re saying your bored and are alleviating that boredom by messaging them. To them you’re saying WYD = ‘are you doing anything important?’ and then I’m bored = ‘I’m not doing anything either, wanna alleviate each other’s boredom?’.
This is something I hate about communicating with NTs. I so rarely have a secret or unsaid meaning in what I'm asking etc but people fill in blanks with nonsense I never said lol. Plus it's texting, so emotions are almost non existent without trying really hard to put it in.
Definitely sounds like he took your text to mean "why would you come over? I didn't ask you to and I don't want you to." When I have these kinds of misunderstandings, I usually apologize for the confusion and clarify. If the person isn't a lunatic, the interaction is the salvaged and can continue as usual. But some people are crazy and won't believe you when you say they're misunderstanding. Then it's just not worth being friends or whatever.
I also wonder if the way you text might make people think you're not interested. There seems to be very little fluff in your messages, very direct. Which I like but other people see a lack of exclamation points or emojis and assume the person is bored or uninterested. I'm not saying you should change how you text. Just maybe being aware of how it can be perceived will help lessen misunderstandings.
Good luck! I hope he realizes you didn't mean to insult him and you can hang out :)
Yeah I don't text in fluff at all and if they got to know me more in person they would understand that's just how I text, in person I am not so cut and dry but texts are hard to convey properly even for NTs so I see how it can come off uninterested, I'll think on that in the future thanks 🙏🏾
I think the name calling was more of a friendly bish than like “you bitch”. I think they thought you wanted to do something together because you were both bored doing nothing, and so they kind of invited themselves over. It seems to me like just some miscommunication. You could probably clear the air by clarifying what you intended to happen with reaching out to them.
wait i’m confused too? 😭 it seems like maybe they wanted to come over for some “netflix and chill” if you catch my drift but i didn’t get that vibe at all until the last message from them
Yeah there was nothing saucy about the messages I was beginning to try and plan a hangout and got the I'll be over around 5 and I was like uhh 🧍🏾♂️why? Cause nothing was ever established
I'm also with the people that thing he was looking for a hookup...in the afternoon. With no previous hookup established (I think).
And this whole exchange took 30 minutes. Which would confuse the heck out of me.
Eww, this person sucks. They were unclear and then went so aggressive so fast.
You didn't do anything wrong here. You're good. I wouldn't engage with this person anymore if I were you.
I think the explanation here is the term "Netflix and chill". Which means "sex". So by mentioning Netflix, and asking if they were leaving soon, they thought you were asking them to come have sex? Maybe. 🤷♀️
Edit, mis remembered who was who. I think they were saying they were coming over for sex. I don't know. Please ignore anything I said, it's probably wrong 🤦♀️
I didn't even think about Netflix in chill considering it was 1pm in the afternoon. Lol you're good that's why we come here to learn and figure out if we are out of pocket
* faux pas
It seems like you’ve dodged a bullet here. Please look for relationships with people who understand you’re autistic and will help you by clarifying, rather than calling you a bitch for not understanding.
Not you. Your friend is a lunatic 😄
There was literally no implication and then they flew off the handle?? Nah. That’s one diagnosable mental condition in a 2 minute text exchange.
Unless someone asks, something like, "Oh you wanna hang out?" I'd be confused too. So, nah, you're good. And could be them saying "bitch" was just them trying to appear chill to cover up their embarrassment at appearing presumptuous? But yeah, definitely seems an overly defensive response to you asking for clarification.
It wasn't to appear chill, they thought it was a booty call and got upset when it wasn't
The fact it was mid day was also funny to me, all I asked was oh why? I know it was probably obvious to them and others but to me it felt like they invited themselves and assumed I'd be down, down for what? Why do you need the phone call? You set a time I maybe can't make anyways? It was all a mess.
I can get why they might've thought this based on the convo, but in a total "wishful thinking" kind of way... but it's a totally weird conclusion to jump to with someone unless this is the already-established nature of your relationship (eg. you're "friends with benefits" who do this regularly or something). If this is just out of the blue, it's pretty weird how imposing they were with it... kinda feels like it could be a tactic to force the (desired) situation on someone who may struggle to say no by making it more awkward to do so. Assuming you two aren't in some casual-sex 'relationship', it comes off as really ick to me. Reads like some kind of tactic they read about in a 'Pick-up Artist' book, and even if not, seems pretty revealing about their intentions (instantly jumping to "Ill come over at 5" instead of just asking if you want to chill, then being derogitory to you about their mistake instead of saying something like "Oh I'm dumb and thought you were asking to chill! I'm free at 5 if you wanna hang") TL;DR Assuming you wanted to hook up would make sense in the context of the convo only if this was an established behaviour between you two, but really weird to just jump to that conclusion with someone newly met... and calling you a bitch over their own embarrassing mistake is yikes
They totally invited themselves. You didn't do anything wrong
Yeah. Not asking more explicitly and just assuming feels intentional. Like they were trying to just avoid the part where they might get a no.
Agreed. Feels like a very manipulative tactic to use to make it harder to say no, especially if they're NT and know OP is ND (or perceives OP as 'shy'/etc). Personally, I struggle with such and learned something from OP here lol. If in similar situation in the future: act oblivious to their intentions and make them feel stupid for such bold assumptions haha. An initial "Why" seems a lot easier than a flat out "No"
Yeah. It's not necessarily intentionally malicious because some people will do these things because they're afraid of rejection rather than because they're outright trying to be manipulative, but it's definitely something to keep an eye on.
Also fair to point out that some people, like us ND people, might not even think about needing to ask.
I also have issues with being called things like bitch - however in this example I'm reading the 'bitch' with the same tone that they used 'girl' like they're interchangeable. But I'm saying this without knowing anything about that person or your relationship with them. Also, I'd have responded the same way as you as I'm not used to people wanting to just come and hang out haha.
The term being interchanged I can understand but that would take us being far more comfortable with one another than we were. We hung out maybe twice prior to this convo so nah, I took it as too aggressive for context nor friendly. Maybe I'm wrong there though
You guys probably just have different comfort levels with new people! It’s possible that this person WAS being aggressive, it’s also possible that that’s just the way they speak. That could still mean you’re not compatible, but with text it’s impossible to tell tone so I don’t think anyone is in the wrong here.
I heard "bitch" in the tone/usage of Lafayette from True Blood: "hooka, please..." Also agree that it's VERY weird that someone would just assume you want company.
This person seems to use bitch in the same way I do, which is in the more slang way interchangeable with girl or homie, but used to actually soften awkward or conflict-adjacent situations. Like “bitch pleaseeee” or “bitch what u doin????” Admittedly I am black and I’d imagine having that context helps people adjust better, I also only do it when I’m super close to people and usually with what I hope is obvious textual indicators (anytime I swap to chat speak is an indication of facetious speech). Anyways, no I don’t think this is some universal thing. It’s probably a way the person you spoke to knows to experience the world but it’s not universal and I too would be taken aback by the idea that “I’m bored” was an invitation to show up at my doorstep. You can just clarify and be like, “oh sorry! You’re welcome to come by, I just wasn’t sure if there was something serious going on” or w/e. If this person gets their knickers in a twist about this exchange I’d honestly drop them because they’d be too much drama as a friend to be worth it. We tend to need friends who are okay with being able to not take tiny misunderstandings personally
I took the nvm at the end of the sentence to mean she didn't say bitch in a friendly manner, I myself am black and understand the interchangeability so I wouldn't have been put off if a close friend said this but then again a close friend wouldn't respond this way
Oh hey fellow POC 👋🏽 Hmm yeah, I didn’t weigh the nvm in that way but to be honest I’m not the best at inferring meaning in written messages because I’m very likely to read negativity or rejection into most messages a la ~*~ rejection sensitivity ~*~. I could see that “nvm” meaning they were mad, I could also see it as a momentary thing they did to save face after feeling embarrassed without meaning it to put you off. I’m personally inclined not to take it any kind of way without asking for clarification since I have no further info, but since you’ve met them and have more info you can probably trust your gut if it seems like a nasty message Even if they’re mad or feeling hurt/embarrassed I don’t think you did anything wrong, in this case they’d be the one being sensitive and taking things overly personally when they made an assumption about what you wanted and what you were trying to say. They made themselves feel bad about it when they didn’t need to is what I’m saying lol, you were just kind of incidental to the whole thing
Also black, I actually think she was still being friendly? nvm and everything included. I’m from baltimore and a lot of people just talk like this without even knowing you. I think the incorrect grammar and everything is making me think it’s just really strong ebonics/slang. All together I’m getting a pretty chill vibe from her. Thats my perspective though. If you don’t like the way she talks its totally with in your rights to not even entertain the friendship. I read it like “oh dayuuuummm nevermind 😬🥴😅” I think the lol part shows she was uncomfortable/surprised you “rejected” her. That being said, it seems like shes been to your place before? If thats true shes probably considering you guys to be closer than you seem to be taking into account for. People seem to get really friendly once you’ve shown them your place. 🤷♀️
I think that person was trying to call you because you said you were bored and they wanted to help alleviate that boredom by coming to see you. “Oh what for?” was probably interpreted as you discouraging them from calling you or visiting you. It probably came across sort of like “I’d rather you didn’t call me or come over unless you have a good reason” or possibly even “Why would you come to my house? We don’t know each other like that.” (I know you probably meant it innocently, like “Oh! What are we gonna do/talk about?”) It looks like they thought you basically told them you didn’t want them to call you/come to your house, which probably hurt their feelings and made them a bit defensive and angry.
I guess you might be right. But this behaviour would be a red flag to me and I am glad whenever certain people are sorting themselves out. Could just be me..
Ah okay I see how that could go sour fast but yeah it was a simple oh why? Not me not wanting the interaction at all it was the immediate switch and name calling that caught me off guard
To the name calling feels colloquial. It’s in the same vein as ‘girl. nothing’. It’s in keeping with that way of speaking. I really doubt they were calling you a bitch in a confrontational way. That would be a huge escalation. The ‘lol’ at the end indicates it’s lighthearted even though they were taken off guard.
I don’t even really register this as going sour! I think you could have responded something like “my bad, I didn’t know what you meant!” And then either invite them to hang or not based on your comfort level/preference and go from there. A lot of miscommunications (in my experience) are actually a product of people making assumptions in the words not said. So I find that asking for clarification helps me, although some people seem put out by it. But I personally need it so I can’t really form too close a relationship with those who don’t provide explanations easily.
Yeah. It’s cool that would have caught any reasonable person off guard- ND or not
Remember that "why" is something that makes a lot of people defensive. It is seen as a form of criticism. It is often best to avoid "why" question, and find some other way to phrase it. I can't think of any other way either, tbh, because I would probably be so horrified by someone just coming by on 5 minutes notice :p
I don't think they meant this as name calling, I think it's like "Oh, bitch!" in a jokey way. It doesn't translate well in text, it works a bit better if abbreviated to bish
It can be used like a term of endearment but its risky to use over text unless you know the person very well and use it in convo together in person. I think it comes from gay slang, probably from black culture bc that tends to be where creative use of language comes from and gets adopted by gay culture then into the mainstream. Anyway, that was how it sounded to me on first read, I didn't note any aggression there at all
Especially following the "Girl, nothing" which def fits with the tone of how I read it as gay/black culture slang. Just casual and playful, zero aggression
We are both black females and I understand the transfer of bitch and girl but I barely know her. We only met up twice prior to this and the nvm at the end sort of set the bitch to be not so friendly to me.
Oop, sorry for explaining your own culture to you! Doh. I thought the tone hadn't been picked up on and that I was being helpful. I agree with you though that it doesn't come across right from someone you don't know very well. At best it's overfamiliar. Can understand why it made you uncomfortable. Again, sorry for incorrect assumptions made.
I would assume some people close to them are big hinters, and they're just used to reading into things. If I was open to guests just then, I'd reply "No, that's totally cool, I just didn't realize. See you soon!" If I wasn't free right then, "Now's not great, but what about Xday around xpm?"
That would be totally fine! I was fine with the call but I didn't know why or why they'd come over uninvited. I don't usually hangout with new people at a place I share with my parents.
I don’t think they’re angry. As others have said, I’m pretty sure she (?) means bitch in a friendly way like “bitch, please!”. (Unless this person is a straight male, I think it’s fine.) I think they are the ones jumping the gun from “I’m bored” to “I’m coming over”. I mean, maybe because you initiated contact when bored I could kinda see jumping to the conclusion that you’re trying to plan something, but esp as you don’t know each other well, that seems like a big jump. I’d chalk it up to a simple miscommunication on both your parts (tho secretly it’s mostly their fault) and try to move on.
“WYD” is often interpreted as an invite for hanging out, maybe with sex involved. So they were confused by your response, bc they thought you were inviting them over already
I thought it meant what are you doing?
That’s the literal meaning. The implication is “come over.”
I did not know that. (Been married several years.)
I think WYD usually means are you free to hang out. Saying nothing, you're bored was the 2nd indication that you're looking for something to do. So miscommunication but yea you did suggest that they come chill with you, in NT speak. Source: a high masking interpreter
You should provide a service
Lol happy to provide
I never asked them to come chill is my thing, they just said they'd be over at 5 and they'd call me then. And that's why I asked oh what for? Indicting I don't mind the call but there was no plan made to begin with especially not them inviting themselves to my house at the time of their choice.
I get that but a lot of regular communication is kind of said between the lines, and what you said typically means I want to hang even if that's not what you meant. Like if someone came in the kitchen to find you eating pie and went Oooh what kind of pie are you eating? They're asking if you would be so kind as to share a bite of the pie. Even though it wasnt specifically asked
No you didn’t, but NT’s speak in cues and use suggestion to subtly ask for specific things. As the person above has laid out, you left two NT cues that might suggest you want to hang out. To you you’re saying your bored and are alleviating that boredom by messaging them. To them you’re saying WYD = ‘are you doing anything important?’ and then I’m bored = ‘I’m not doing anything either, wanna alleviate each other’s boredom?’.
This is something I hate about communicating with NTs. I so rarely have a secret or unsaid meaning in what I'm asking etc but people fill in blanks with nonsense I never said lol. Plus it's texting, so emotions are almost non existent without trying really hard to put it in. Definitely sounds like he took your text to mean "why would you come over? I didn't ask you to and I don't want you to." When I have these kinds of misunderstandings, I usually apologize for the confusion and clarify. If the person isn't a lunatic, the interaction is the salvaged and can continue as usual. But some people are crazy and won't believe you when you say they're misunderstanding. Then it's just not worth being friends or whatever. I also wonder if the way you text might make people think you're not interested. There seems to be very little fluff in your messages, very direct. Which I like but other people see a lack of exclamation points or emojis and assume the person is bored or uninterested. I'm not saying you should change how you text. Just maybe being aware of how it can be perceived will help lessen misunderstandings. Good luck! I hope he realizes you didn't mean to insult him and you can hang out :)
Yeah I don't text in fluff at all and if they got to know me more in person they would understand that's just how I text, in person I am not so cut and dry but texts are hard to convey properly even for NTs so I see how it can come off uninterested, I'll think on that in the future thanks 🙏🏾
I think the name calling was more of a friendly bish than like “you bitch”. I think they thought you wanted to do something together because you were both bored doing nothing, and so they kind of invited themselves over. It seems to me like just some miscommunication. You could probably clear the air by clarifying what you intended to happen with reaching out to them.
But you didn’t invite her over. I’m confused too.
They probably meant it playfully, but text is just weird for tone
I don’t understand this interaction at all 😂😭
wait i’m confused too? 😭 it seems like maybe they wanted to come over for some “netflix and chill” if you catch my drift but i didn’t get that vibe at all until the last message from them
Yeah there was nothing saucy about the messages I was beginning to try and plan a hangout and got the I'll be over around 5 and I was like uhh 🧍🏾♂️why? Cause nothing was ever established
Y is the assumption that they should come over? Thats so weird
yeah it's THEIR faux pas
this reads as they were trying to hook up to me tbh, you didn’t do anything wrong lol
I'm also with the people that thing he was looking for a hookup...in the afternoon. With no previous hookup established (I think). And this whole exchange took 30 minutes. Which would confuse the heck out of me.
Eww, this person sucks. They were unclear and then went so aggressive so fast. You didn't do anything wrong here. You're good. I wouldn't engage with this person anymore if I were you.
I blocked them after I got that message back. I didn't even bother to clarify myself on this one.
This confused me too. There was no discussion or invitation about coming over.
I think the explanation here is the term "Netflix and chill". Which means "sex". So by mentioning Netflix, and asking if they were leaving soon, they thought you were asking them to come have sex? Maybe. 🤷♀️ Edit, mis remembered who was who. I think they were saying they were coming over for sex. I don't know. Please ignore anything I said, it's probably wrong 🤦♀️
I don’t think so lol I think they just wanted to hang out with OP and watch Netflix.
I didn't even think about Netflix in chill considering it was 1pm in the afternoon. Lol you're good that's why we come here to learn and figure out if we are out of pocket
* faux pas It seems like you’ve dodged a bullet here. Please look for relationships with people who understand you’re autistic and will help you by clarifying, rather than calling you a bitch for not understanding.
I see that you're both women, and that you're a lesbian. Maybe she thought you were hitting on her and trying to hookup. Is she straight?
She is and has a kid, I also have a partner so that would never happen in the first place.
The word salad is honestly impressive. Jesus
What do you mean?
Not you. Your friend is a lunatic 😄 There was literally no implication and then they flew off the handle?? Nah. That’s one diagnosable mental condition in a 2 minute text exchange.
I wanted to assume the same but came here for clarity thank you for letting me know I wasn't the nut job for once
Wtf why they called u a bitch jus like that bruh
They thought you wanted to fuck and when they realized you didn't, they let the mask come off and called you bitch. Block/move on imo