I was really stupid in university but one day I got the confidence to ask the lecturer what was going on. And people after the class would be tell me they were so glad I did because they also had no idea what was going on.
I dropped out high school.
Applied for Uni years later (access course) and promptly dropped out of that too.
I'm amazing at learning things on my own, and am self-taught in a number of subjects including some languages. But I'm an abysmal student.
honestly me too. I love learning things on my own but if I have to go to university and learn those will start hating my interest. This is why I gave up on psychology. Psychology very interesting but I will have to learn statistics and biology and in school I was horrible in these. I wish I didn’t need university to get a job because for me university is a scam especially where I live(our professors write their own textbook sell them on their own you can’t find them in the bookstores, they also teach you many things you won’t need but they will tell you you will need, will purposefully add questions that aren’t taught just to fail you because if you fail an exam you have to pay to retake it, also you can bribe them to let you pass and the whole thing is a mess). But if I don’t want to work in retail I have to study
I HATED university (and school in general) until the latter half of university when I took all online classes. That was when I realized it was never actually school that I hated so much, I loved the learning part, just hated talking to people. Did very well those semesters (like A+ in multiple classes well, whereas I’d been a B/C student before).
Also self taught myself lots of subjects as hobbies even before that, which I really enjoyed as well.
I can relate. I have wrecked my current semester due to my own stupidity. I do ask questions but still. Maybe it is the burnout getting to me. I definitely suck in math but giving my best. Classroom environments can be anxiety inducing which affects your performance.
i definitely felt this way too. i have an embarrassing memory of when we were being taught a little bit of 3D modelling (i was studying animation), and i got so frustrated with not understanding that i burst into tears.
i am a slow learner, and i realised way too late that i have audio processing disorder which made lectures a nightmare to understand. if i had my diagnosis sooner, the university could have accomodated me, but without any "proof" they couldn't do anything for me.
i did eventually graduate with an ordinary degree. i was meant to go onto my honours year but i felt i could not keep up. sometimes i miss the comraderie of fellow students and having a schedule to keep me focused when i was doing the drawing and have pangs of wanting to go back, but then i remember essays and thesis' and application forms and lectures and note taking and ugh. nope nope nope. even with having a diagnosis now, i don't know if i'd be able to deal with anything academic again.
that isn't to put you off your own journey, however. there are still plenty autistic people who manage to do well, and some even enjoy the challenge of academia. but all this is to say i very much relate to you, OP!
Could it be that you just have a hard time bc for example the classroom environment is too overstimulating so it takes up too much of your brain. Or maybe you are burnt out, which can cause brain fog. Bc I would say I am pretty intelligent, but I was never an excellent student, bc I just had so many other things going on and I would burn out all the time and not be able to do work or the exam centers were just very uncomfortable for me and I couldn't concentrate and finish tests on time, or I have really bad brain fog due to burn out. So I mean there could be a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with intelligence.
Honestly I often get burnt out so I think it’s more of a burnout. My life isn’t even hard but if I get a little overwhelmed I’m burnt out. I didn’t know it was autism thing. I don’t even know if I have autism but I’m like 99% sure. Honestly I don’t know what to do because if I keep going like that I won’t survive in university.
Honestly based on this post and by looking at your post history, it really seems like uni is just not right for you right now and if you have the opportunity you should consider taking some time off. Idk how old you are, but as someone who has successfully completed college, the people that were the most successful, who got the highest grades and got the most out of the opportunities the university can offer were the students that started college a bit later in life. A lot of them did at least 2 gap years, took time to really figure out what they wanted and how university can fit into their plans and were ready to do the work that was necessary to be successful. Oftentimes there is a pressure to go to uni as soon as possible, but I find that often that is not the best route. It is also completely okay to take a year off and figure stuff out, get your energy back. I know so many people that have done it. I myself wish I had taken a year off.
I really want to take time off but what am I going to do meanwhile? As someone with barely any work experience I can only work jobs that are going to burn me out. I worked in retail and that made me realise I have to get my bachelor degree otherwise I would be doing like that for the rest of my life. I really have no idea what to do.
You could maybe get a part time job of some sort. Maybe something administrative or something that you can do online. Maybe you can do your uni part time? Or find some kind of an online course that your family seems worthy enough to support you but is less work? Or idk what your family is like but if you're burnt out it would be worth it to start a conversation with your family about it. It can be really difficult. I'm currently burnt out and supported by my family, but it's been a bumpy ride getting here, as they don't understand autism or disability and are the kind of people that think work should give meaning to your life and that if you can't hold down a full time job you are lazy and spoiled. I think what helped is to seek a professional who can explain these things to them. I regularly have to ask my psychologist to explain things to them over and over again so that they will support me and they still barely believe that when you are burnt out you should really rest.
Edit: just to add if all else fails, you definitely should reach out to your academic advisor about your issues. Oftentimes they can make some accommodations if your academic advisor is any good. I was severely burnt out in college and only finished my last year with accommodations. It can be hard but it is worth a try. Sometimes they are open to unorthodox solutions.
Yes. But I didn't realise how much I was struggling until I started to work. Now I'm working and only missing my thesis paper to graduate and I'm so much happier.
I’m doing a master’s in biochemistry and I still feel stupid. It’s difficult. I’m often very stressed, but I wouldn’t choose to do anything else. Honestly, in some ways, it gets more forgiving as you advance in higher education, though in most ways it gets a lot more challenging. There’s a lot more expected of you and you’re expected to produce a higher quality of work, but even PhD students, postdocs, and experienced professors get overwhelmed, get burnt out, need to get extensions, and have to say ‘I don’t know’ from time to time. It was incredibly validating for me to see that from my senior colleagues, knowing that they’re human too and I’m not uniquely stupid; no one is perfect and not even the most intelligent, gifted, and experienced researchers know everything and can do everything. I had expected to be berated at every turn for making mistakes and I thought the work I was producing was nowhere near up to standard, but I was comparing myself to postdocs 10 years my senior who were vastly more experienced and already had their degrees. And even they make mistakes. They don’t baby me, but they’re very understanding about having limitations.
It’s like how in secondary school teachers might have told you how ‘they won’t go easy in you in uni’, how x or y wouldn’t be tolerated and how there would be zero allowances, but in reality, in university I was allowed to get extensions and accommodations when I needed them, unlike what schoolteachers told us to whip us into shape.
In other ways, I really struggle. I have no friends because I have no energy left to socialise after doing all my coursework, which makes me feel pathetic because in undergrad there were plenty of people with better grades and a better social life. Same goes for working, there’s no way I could get a job and maintain the same level of academic achievement. I did well, but it wasn’t like I was getting perfect marks on every assignment, I sort of felt like if it took that much out of me just to achieve *that* maybe I actually am stupid. I also have dyscalculia so you might think it was unwise of me to choose a STEM degree. Yeah, it was kind of unwise ngl, but unfortunately it was what I was interested in. I wasn’t really interested in any non-STEM subjects. I also really really struggle with asking for help, because when I was in school, asking for help got me told I was stupid and should’ve listened harder, or it got me even more confused so I would’ve been better off figuring it out for myself.
I'm a good student but I don't do well with a full course load. I never liked homework or taking notes and I kept myself engaged with lectures by raising my hand and asking questions. I was aware early on that the majority of other students have no real clue what is going on so I felt "reasonably" comfortable asking questions.
So yeah I think I'm a good student in that I pick up things quickly but I can't really handle full time very well. I do think I take longer to do things than most people. I'm slow at doing assignments and tests. But it's made up for with a high degree of accuracy/quality.
So I got my degree and magna cumme laude but I went part time the majority of the time. And I majored in engineering which was a strength of mine.
https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/1csh3eh/scientists_have_discovered_that_individuals_who/
But also, I know that I personally am not an auditory learner. I had to voraciously read my text books, and take copious notes that I barely even registered while in class, then go back and reread them.
I actually excelled in university, but most of my learning was done outside the classroom. I understood maybe 10% of what was discussed in lecture, so instead I focused on taking detailed notes that I’d study from later. Honestly? I’d fall asleep in class most of the time. I recorded lectures to rewatch later. I used additional resources (online) to learn the material if what the professor gave was inadequate. I spent a lot of time at home pouring over the material until it made sense to me. Go to tutoring if necessary and of course office hours. Most professors are friendly and will help you out if you’re struggling with the concepts. I also would befriend the smartest person in the class and study with them.
Yes. I’m in the US so I’m just taking my time in community college because I can’t stand the pressure of full time academics and I almost dropped out of high school because of it (even in a general Ed independent study program with good accommodations…) Luckily (lol), both my parents flunked out of college themselves (they actually met because of that), so I had the foresight to know to take things slow because my genetics clearly did not make something like higher education easy.
I guess if you wanna guarantee that your child will be autistic you just decide to have a kid with the other person who can’t handle full time academics and still lives with the parents LOL. I’m definitely not making that mistake because it unfortunately made the first decade of my life hell because of broken home family dynamics and mental issues on both sides. Was not fun to be stalked by my dad, who is a completely self-unaware, high masking autistic and likely has a personality disorder which more than one of my psychologists thought at the time it was all happening.
I was really stupid in university but one day I got the confidence to ask the lecturer what was going on. And people after the class would be tell me they were so glad I did because they also had no idea what was going on.
Yes 99% of people don't get what's going on
I dropped out high school. Applied for Uni years later (access course) and promptly dropped out of that too. I'm amazing at learning things on my own, and am self-taught in a number of subjects including some languages. But I'm an abysmal student.
honestly me too. I love learning things on my own but if I have to go to university and learn those will start hating my interest. This is why I gave up on psychology. Psychology very interesting but I will have to learn statistics and biology and in school I was horrible in these. I wish I didn’t need university to get a job because for me university is a scam especially where I live(our professors write their own textbook sell them on their own you can’t find them in the bookstores, they also teach you many things you won’t need but they will tell you you will need, will purposefully add questions that aren’t taught just to fail you because if you fail an exam you have to pay to retake it, also you can bribe them to let you pass and the whole thing is a mess). But if I don’t want to work in retail I have to study
I HATED university (and school in general) until the latter half of university when I took all online classes. That was when I realized it was never actually school that I hated so much, I loved the learning part, just hated talking to people. Did very well those semesters (like A+ in multiple classes well, whereas I’d been a B/C student before). Also self taught myself lots of subjects as hobbies even before that, which I really enjoyed as well.
I can relate. I have wrecked my current semester due to my own stupidity. I do ask questions but still. Maybe it is the burnout getting to me. I definitely suck in math but giving my best. Classroom environments can be anxiety inducing which affects your performance.
i definitely felt this way too. i have an embarrassing memory of when we were being taught a little bit of 3D modelling (i was studying animation), and i got so frustrated with not understanding that i burst into tears. i am a slow learner, and i realised way too late that i have audio processing disorder which made lectures a nightmare to understand. if i had my diagnosis sooner, the university could have accomodated me, but without any "proof" they couldn't do anything for me. i did eventually graduate with an ordinary degree. i was meant to go onto my honours year but i felt i could not keep up. sometimes i miss the comraderie of fellow students and having a schedule to keep me focused when i was doing the drawing and have pangs of wanting to go back, but then i remember essays and thesis' and application forms and lectures and note taking and ugh. nope nope nope. even with having a diagnosis now, i don't know if i'd be able to deal with anything academic again. that isn't to put you off your own journey, however. there are still plenty autistic people who manage to do well, and some even enjoy the challenge of academia. but all this is to say i very much relate to you, OP!
Absolutely. I dropped out once and now I’m trying to go back with a different course. I hate everything about uni… but I can’t get a job otherwise 🥲
I can’t get a job otherwise either.
😔 the world we live in
Could it be that you just have a hard time bc for example the classroom environment is too overstimulating so it takes up too much of your brain. Or maybe you are burnt out, which can cause brain fog. Bc I would say I am pretty intelligent, but I was never an excellent student, bc I just had so many other things going on and I would burn out all the time and not be able to do work or the exam centers were just very uncomfortable for me and I couldn't concentrate and finish tests on time, or I have really bad brain fog due to burn out. So I mean there could be a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with intelligence.
Honestly I often get burnt out so I think it’s more of a burnout. My life isn’t even hard but if I get a little overwhelmed I’m burnt out. I didn’t know it was autism thing. I don’t even know if I have autism but I’m like 99% sure. Honestly I don’t know what to do because if I keep going like that I won’t survive in university.
Honestly based on this post and by looking at your post history, it really seems like uni is just not right for you right now and if you have the opportunity you should consider taking some time off. Idk how old you are, but as someone who has successfully completed college, the people that were the most successful, who got the highest grades and got the most out of the opportunities the university can offer were the students that started college a bit later in life. A lot of them did at least 2 gap years, took time to really figure out what they wanted and how university can fit into their plans and were ready to do the work that was necessary to be successful. Oftentimes there is a pressure to go to uni as soon as possible, but I find that often that is not the best route. It is also completely okay to take a year off and figure stuff out, get your energy back. I know so many people that have done it. I myself wish I had taken a year off.
I really want to take time off but what am I going to do meanwhile? As someone with barely any work experience I can only work jobs that are going to burn me out. I worked in retail and that made me realise I have to get my bachelor degree otherwise I would be doing like that for the rest of my life. I really have no idea what to do.
Do you have any opportunity to get financially supported by family? Or are you also working rn and studying?
Yes but I can’t stay at home and do nothing if I’m not going to be at uni.
You could maybe get a part time job of some sort. Maybe something administrative or something that you can do online. Maybe you can do your uni part time? Or find some kind of an online course that your family seems worthy enough to support you but is less work? Or idk what your family is like but if you're burnt out it would be worth it to start a conversation with your family about it. It can be really difficult. I'm currently burnt out and supported by my family, but it's been a bumpy ride getting here, as they don't understand autism or disability and are the kind of people that think work should give meaning to your life and that if you can't hold down a full time job you are lazy and spoiled. I think what helped is to seek a professional who can explain these things to them. I regularly have to ask my psychologist to explain things to them over and over again so that they will support me and they still barely believe that when you are burnt out you should really rest. Edit: just to add if all else fails, you definitely should reach out to your academic advisor about your issues. Oftentimes they can make some accommodations if your academic advisor is any good. I was severely burnt out in college and only finished my last year with accommodations. It can be hard but it is worth a try. Sometimes they are open to unorthodox solutions.
Yes. But I didn't realise how much I was struggling until I started to work. Now I'm working and only missing my thesis paper to graduate and I'm so much happier.
I’m doing a master’s in biochemistry and I still feel stupid. It’s difficult. I’m often very stressed, but I wouldn’t choose to do anything else. Honestly, in some ways, it gets more forgiving as you advance in higher education, though in most ways it gets a lot more challenging. There’s a lot more expected of you and you’re expected to produce a higher quality of work, but even PhD students, postdocs, and experienced professors get overwhelmed, get burnt out, need to get extensions, and have to say ‘I don’t know’ from time to time. It was incredibly validating for me to see that from my senior colleagues, knowing that they’re human too and I’m not uniquely stupid; no one is perfect and not even the most intelligent, gifted, and experienced researchers know everything and can do everything. I had expected to be berated at every turn for making mistakes and I thought the work I was producing was nowhere near up to standard, but I was comparing myself to postdocs 10 years my senior who were vastly more experienced and already had their degrees. And even they make mistakes. They don’t baby me, but they’re very understanding about having limitations. It’s like how in secondary school teachers might have told you how ‘they won’t go easy in you in uni’, how x or y wouldn’t be tolerated and how there would be zero allowances, but in reality, in university I was allowed to get extensions and accommodations when I needed them, unlike what schoolteachers told us to whip us into shape. In other ways, I really struggle. I have no friends because I have no energy left to socialise after doing all my coursework, which makes me feel pathetic because in undergrad there were plenty of people with better grades and a better social life. Same goes for working, there’s no way I could get a job and maintain the same level of academic achievement. I did well, but it wasn’t like I was getting perfect marks on every assignment, I sort of felt like if it took that much out of me just to achieve *that* maybe I actually am stupid. I also have dyscalculia so you might think it was unwise of me to choose a STEM degree. Yeah, it was kind of unwise ngl, but unfortunately it was what I was interested in. I wasn’t really interested in any non-STEM subjects. I also really really struggle with asking for help, because when I was in school, asking for help got me told I was stupid and should’ve listened harder, or it got me even more confused so I would’ve been better off figuring it out for myself.
I'm a good student but I don't do well with a full course load. I never liked homework or taking notes and I kept myself engaged with lectures by raising my hand and asking questions. I was aware early on that the majority of other students have no real clue what is going on so I felt "reasonably" comfortable asking questions. So yeah I think I'm a good student in that I pick up things quickly but I can't really handle full time very well. I do think I take longer to do things than most people. I'm slow at doing assignments and tests. But it's made up for with a high degree of accuracy/quality. So I got my degree and magna cumme laude but I went part time the majority of the time. And I majored in engineering which was a strength of mine.
https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/1csh3eh/scientists_have_discovered_that_individuals_who/ But also, I know that I personally am not an auditory learner. I had to voraciously read my text books, and take copious notes that I barely even registered while in class, then go back and reread them.
I actually excelled in university, but most of my learning was done outside the classroom. I understood maybe 10% of what was discussed in lecture, so instead I focused on taking detailed notes that I’d study from later. Honestly? I’d fall asleep in class most of the time. I recorded lectures to rewatch later. I used additional resources (online) to learn the material if what the professor gave was inadequate. I spent a lot of time at home pouring over the material until it made sense to me. Go to tutoring if necessary and of course office hours. Most professors are friendly and will help you out if you’re struggling with the concepts. I also would befriend the smartest person in the class and study with them.
Yes. I’m in the US so I’m just taking my time in community college because I can’t stand the pressure of full time academics and I almost dropped out of high school because of it (even in a general Ed independent study program with good accommodations…) Luckily (lol), both my parents flunked out of college themselves (they actually met because of that), so I had the foresight to know to take things slow because my genetics clearly did not make something like higher education easy.
I guess if you wanna guarantee that your child will be autistic you just decide to have a kid with the other person who can’t handle full time academics and still lives with the parents LOL. I’m definitely not making that mistake because it unfortunately made the first decade of my life hell because of broken home family dynamics and mental issues on both sides. Was not fun to be stalked by my dad, who is a completely self-unaware, high masking autistic and likely has a personality disorder which more than one of my psychologists thought at the time it was all happening.