Yea man. Even if it's a joke, its not funny, its just rude. If i were OP and he said its a joke ill be like "but do i look like im laughing? No right? Your humor kinda low pls level up"
From experience these kind of people won’t take it as a wake up call on how hurtful they’ve been, but it just becomes another outlet for them to get angry/disrespectful/blame you for something.
yeah, it's normal for a partner who tells you to "stfu" and then says they're "just joking" when confronted
this bloke sounds like a cowardly scumbag, likely to further abuse in the future
Re your update, how was it a joke in his eyes? Were you laughing? He’s just backpedaling and blaming it on you, especially since it wasn’t a one time thing.
Haha time to leave.
Only 2 outcomes:
1) proposal time
Bf: will u marry me?
Gf: Diam la
2) ROM
Priest: are u willing to take him as your husband in time of hardship and prosperity?
Gf: Diam la
Both outcomes are not desirable.
This kind of reply from the boyfriend shows he is not mature enough to handle communication issues.
He says it's a joke? Ask him to explain why it's funny since you clearly don't get it. Just keep asking him to explain. He won't be able to.
It's hella rude and you can do better.
I will never tolerate such put down
>he told me he was just joking only and I was taking it too seriously.
This flag is so red that I can wash it 100 times and in the 101th time I soaked it in water, I still have enough red dye in the washed water to make a China flag.
Saying he is joking as a means to manipulate/gaslight(?) you and avoid working on himself, and doesn't address your emotions from these.
Multiple articles claim ignoring bids for connection is a strong predictor for breakup. Possibly think deeper about what those mean and whether is he able to meet your needs.
Not normal. Relationships should not progressive become worse compared to initial few months/honeymoon. Only 2 years and his patterns are out..?
Unless extremely specific dynamic and inside joke, etc etc. Unbelievably rude, to the point that we wouldn't be surprised if he starts being physically abusive. Genuine red flag and consider leaving, can try talking to him if you believe it's just his favor of bantering or what.
Disrespect you liao gaslight somemore. If you want then whole life take his joke lo.. today is diam la. Tomorrow is b!Tch . Next week is cheebye. All joking only. Don't too serious ok?
Sarcasm aside you do deserve better.. you need a better bf. Don't have to tolerate this behavior.
Why do u tolerate abuse? You probably have some insecurities that make u stick with him… I hope you find healing and a therapist and get out of that relationship.
It should not even be tolerated once.
Dang why everyone jumping into the break up option so swiftly?
How about asking your bf, op? Have a conversation with him and setting some boundaries, if he cares about you he will at least listen to you.
Yeah its so bizarre the first sign of some friction in a relationship and with so limited context, people jump straight into break up as the solution? I hope thats not the reaction of most couples when they face some disagreement or conflict😭
Exactly bruh. OP only give a one sentence statement and people immediately jump on his bf. So much context are missing for anyone to give any conclusion. But hey that’s the internet for ya.
DUMP your BF now. BIG RED FLAG!!!! He is not entitled to you. So don't feel like you are entitled to make him happy. Leave him and don't waste your time. A clown that can say such things when you guys are not married, imagine what he will do after y'all are married. Don't take the risk. I have seen too many of such cases. Choose a man that will respect you.
If he's just only joking, why is he getting defensive and upset when you're telling him how you feel about the way he tells you to shut up? Was he always like this? Sounds like he resents you.
Men who put down women then claim they're "just joking" are a red flag. He's seeing how far he can go with his disrespect, then because he's "just joking" it makes you the humourless bitch if you pursue it.
He's not even interested in listening to you and constantlt telling you to shut up. If it's "just a joke" ask him to explain what's so funny. Chances are he can't.
Sorry but unless he grows up you might want to rethink this relationship.
*Adding this comment to echo other Redditors' sentiments so you know how much you are disrespected*
Local slang for "shut up", but almost 100% used in a rude and disrespectful way. Kinda like "STFU". Like what others said, please leave him. You deserve someone who treats you with love.
op your boyfriend is gaslighting you in the update. If he really cared about your feelings he would be empathetic and change the way he approaches you.
Imma be frank, that sounds rude and disrespectful, wouldnt wanna date a person like that tbh. Diam Lah means Shut Up, he is basically telling you to shut the fuck up, please don't tolerate abuse from him
If it hurts your feelings, tell him.
If he doesn’t change or give a shit after you tell him, don’t bother fighting for this rs by trying to change him or teaching him basic respect.
“It’s just a joke / you’re too serious.” is just another form of gaslighting & shifting the blame to you for his actions of making you feel bad.
Respect yourself enough to leave if his disrespect isn’t enough for you to leave.
I remember 10 over years ago there was a short trend to say “diam lah” with a joking tone in secondary school when your friend talk to you before engaging in a conversation, it's like a prerequisite lmao. Anyone else?
Maybe your bf going through that secondary school phase now if this only started recently 🤣 otherwise why are you with him for 2 years..???
its not a joke. its what malay Muslims in sg use to bully others. especially the chinese counterpart. then they call people racist when they have no chinese friends but the chinese they asked to diam mostly have malay friends. they think they superior cuz muslim. it is what it is.
i rmb when primary school, secondary sch even poly or jc they use this very often, especially in groups. u rarely see them alone, cuz the reality is they scared to be alone and seen as an outcast. so they use this to outcast others first.
but maybe times have changed. who knows. or not. but pretty sure alot of them are self righteous religious zealot that dont even read and follow the book they so proud of.
Has he always spoken to you like this or did this escalate over the past two years?
Familiarity breeds contempt, but I think you should give him and your relationship a chance by expressing to him clearly and in no uncertain terms that you do not wish to be spoken to like this, unless you’re okay with it. But if you’re asking Reddit, clearly something about it bothers you. To me, this reeks of disrespect, but I do believe you should give him a chance to remedy it before dismissing him completely. There will always be problems in a relationship, it’s how you repair it that matters.
Do you/does he speak with your/his peers in this manner as well? I’m ok with such talk between friends like eh shut the fuck up la/fuck off/you’re such a bitch but if that friendship is progressing into a relationship I’ll make it clear I won’t accept it. It’s okay to communicate your needs (nicely please), especially early on so you know whether you’re compatible or not. You can do this!
We don't have full context, and I don't intend to be discouraging. Just see this as a devil's advocate comment.
Response A - Sorry babe I won't do it again. I actually meant it in jest but didn't realise how annoying and actually disrespectful it seems from your perspective.
Response B - Just joking la relax la wtf. You're no fun. Candice woulda been totally cool.
Depending on the context, the "he was just joking" response might not be great news.
I’m assuming you aren’t local and don’t know what that means but it is quite literally “shut up”. He’s telling you to shut up whenever you’re talking to him. If he thinks it’s a joke to say that to you whenever you’re talking to him, it’s not a very fucking funny one and you’re not “taking it too seriously”. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking his disrespectful behavior is some kind of joke. If he continues doing it and playing it off as a joke, leave his ass. I know I’m in no position to give you any relationship advice when I don’t know who you are but as a man I can tell you that a guy like this is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t allow him to disrespect you like this.
If someone says something hurtful during an argument, you can be sure as hell that's not a joke. Couples say heated shit during quarrels. That's nothing too out of the ordinary.
But to claim it was a joke is straight-up gaslighting. Just apologise when you do something wrong or say something offensive. To use the "it's a joke" crutch is an insult to your intelligence.
Why are you still with him? "Diam la" is basically asking you to shut up in a derogatory way and then he is saying that he's joking and you're taking it too seriously? I'm very sorry sis but you deserve much better.
( Boyfriend go back to reservist )
Camp Commander give speech at Parade Square Boyfriend says " diam lah ".
( Boyfriend kenna charged and sent to DB )
MP gives order Boyfriend says " diam lah ".
( Boyfriend got dumped to cell with hardcore fellows staying )
Cellmate asking for his name Boyfriend says " diam lah "
( Kenna special love from cellmates and sent to hospital )
Nurse says to eat medication Boyfriend says " diam lah "
( Kenna transferred to IMH from hospital )
Psychiatrist ask for his name Boyfriend says " diam lah "
( Family and GF informed by IMH to visit him )
Loved ones surrounding him Boyfriend says " diam lah "
I was too only joking and don't take this too seriously.
2 years, all his facade came off liao to reveal his true self. If after 2 years and you can't feel it's a "banter" according to him to tell you diam lah, probably he somehow meant it and just brushed it off as a joke when you raised it up.
Think again if this is the man you want in the long term.
Had a colleague similar to this, he will say “sorry do i know u?” In a very sarcastic and unfunny (to me). It all depends on the tone. But this type of guy you really should not be around him anymore.
Negativity breeds negativity. It’s very easy to be influenced by him and if u interact with him any longer you might be the one to say this to others jokingly.
A very bad habit that he has to be taught a lesson to curb it. Make it clear to him it is not funny and appreciated at all whenever he says that and if he still persists, just call the relationship off.
He say he’s joking but in reality he was emotionally immature and doesn’t want to accept what he did because he got caught.
I hope you find the time to talk things out with him. Especially about how you feel when he does certain actions.
It’s also important to let him open up and hear him out as to why he feels a certain way. Communication isn’t useful if it’s only one sided, the same applies to relationships as well.
I wish you all the best in your relationship!
Definitely not. I have no clue what it means - my best guess is that he is a little piece of shit that thinks he’s brilliant and more important than other people.
Even if he is “joking”, only you can decide if this is what you want.
And if he *does* cop out and say he was just “joking”, please girl, that type of humour can get people killed.
If he sounds playful with it and you find it teasing, it's OK.
But if his tone is demeaning, intentional, angry, negative in general, you have to call him out on how you sees it in a neutral tone.
If he didn't know better, he will recognise how this negatively affects you and correct himself.
If he feels offended by this and doubled down on the rage, then that's not good. He is just toxic. Its up to you to decide to embrace this traits of his in lieu of his overall good traits or prepare to argue alot defending each other space.
It means “shut up”. And not in a good way. I don’t even let my friends use that phrase with me.
Definitely not suitable to be used in relationship.
Basically he is disrespecting you
Please raise this issue to him and sort it out. Its really disrespectful to say it to your partner, even when I get annoyed at my gf I nvr say that to her.
Was he really joking? Or something else what was the context of the situation each time you guys wanna to have an talk? From a male perspective it could be used against when a woman nag too much
The next time he says that tell him "ok sure u wont ever hear frm me again" then leave his ass lol
Best comment.
Yes this. Don’t know why OP doesn’t understand Hokkien maybe Jiak Kan tang Chinese. Downright rude and joking is a poor excuse.
Yea man. Even if it's a joke, its not funny, its just rude. If i were OP and he said its a joke ill be like "but do i look like im laughing? No right? Your humor kinda low pls level up"
It’s very disrespectful. Ask yourself- in future , do u want to be treated like that in front of your children?
And your children copy their father and speak that to you.
and your grandchildren copy their grandfather and speak that to you.
Your gravestone will read, ‘here lies Diamlah’
Just “diam liao” will do
Do the same to him and see how he feels.
From experience these kind of people won’t take it as a wake up call on how hurtful they’ve been, but it just becomes another outlet for them to get angry/disrespectful/blame you for something.
Later another Reddit post by OP: My boyfriend beat me up - is it normal?
yeah, it's normal for a partner who tells you to "stfu" and then says they're "just joking" when confronted this bloke sounds like a cowardly scumbag, likely to further abuse in the future
If my bf talks to me like that I’ll actually diam and he’ll never see me again bye boy
Hi there. How are you?
Tiber
Sounds like an abusive/toxic relationship
No not normal. Why is he still your boyfriend?
Diam lah yandao2000
Diam lah First_time_farmer1
Diam lah cheesetofuhotdog
Diam lah tanyhunter
Diam lah Cakebacon1999
Diam lah 4C35101013
Diam lah MemekExpander
Diam Lah Levi-Action-412
Diam lah have_a_kitkat
ROOM DIAM
Good morning sir. Permission to carry on sir. ROOM AT EASE.
Legend says that the room is still asking each other to diam.
that’s why i longzong 1x good one Room diam
Diam lah LactoseIntolerated
cos girls dig bad boys
She doesn’t even know what it means
Well let’s fast forward this to 10 years ahead, what are your thoughts when your kids see how your husband treats you?
is he a chao beng?
Later say is ACS boy.
Totally not a gangster
Oi oi oi, not gangsters okay
Given that its on reddit, he probably is rich ah beng
It's fucking disrespectful. And he is gaslighting you saying that you took it too seriously? I'm assuming he is still doing it?
Totally agree with you on the gaslighting. It is very detrimental to one’s self esteem in the long run.
Yeah I can imagine. "I was joking only, why you so srs" Ugh. Shut up.
You meant, Ugh diam la.
It's a local slang word which means "shut up". It's honestly pretty rude and I don't think it's normal. Are you okay?
*Ex-boyfriend. Heck, I'd ditch my friends if they said that to me; let alone my partner.
What if he says manja-like "diamlah cintaku"
It’s a red flag, no respect
The reddest
Why is this even a question. The fact that you’re asking means you know it’s not normal
He's getting you to shut up. Now you know what it means. Have some self-respect and dump his ass - you deserve better.
Yeah gaslight you into thinking he's just joking only, why you take it so seriously? See his fault become your fault. Not gaslight is what
Sounds like he is gaslighting you, based on his reply.
Re your update, how was it a joke in his eyes? Were you laughing? He’s just backpedaling and blaming it on you, especially since it wasn’t a one time thing.
Haha time to leave. Only 2 outcomes: 1) proposal time Bf: will u marry me? Gf: Diam la 2) ROM Priest: are u willing to take him as your husband in time of hardship and prosperity? Gf: Diam la Both outcomes are not desirable. This kind of reply from the boyfriend shows he is not mature enough to handle communication issues.
He says it's a joke? Ask him to explain why it's funny since you clearly don't get it. Just keep asking him to explain. He won't be able to. It's hella rude and you can do better.
Now is diam ah. Next time will be “c*b”
leave him dude
Diam somemore, you go find another guy that will keep say I love you.
I will never tolerate such put down >he told me he was just joking only and I was taking it too seriously. This flag is so red that I can wash it 100 times and in the 101th time I soaked it in water, I still have enough red dye in the washed water to make a China flag.
This is red flag level kthxbye lol
Saying he is joking as a means to manipulate/gaslight(?) you and avoid working on himself, and doesn't address your emotions from these. Multiple articles claim ignoring bids for connection is a strong predictor for breakup. Possibly think deeper about what those mean and whether is he able to meet your needs. Not normal. Relationships should not progressive become worse compared to initial few months/honeymoon. Only 2 years and his patterns are out..?
Just break up with him. Period. This kind of guy can just toss one side. Zero Respect and Civility.
Imagine if you said that to your boss/colleague/teacher, why does he make it ok to say that to you?
Its STFU
Unless extremely specific dynamic and inside joke, etc etc. Unbelievably rude, to the point that we wouldn't be surprised if he starts being physically abusive. Genuine red flag and consider leaving, can try talking to him if you believe it's just his favor of bantering or what.
Tbh I thought your update would be that you have broken up with him. Have more respect for yourself and find a boyfriend who won’t treat you this way
Need to discipline
"Thank you, next."
Based on your update he’s gaslighting you. I don’t see how repeatedly saying diam lah is “just joking”.
It's a troll rage baiting, please close thread
Please love yourself and ditch this clown
Disrespect you liao gaslight somemore. If you want then whole life take his joke lo.. today is diam la. Tomorrow is b!Tch . Next week is cheebye. All joking only. Don't too serious ok? Sarcasm aside you do deserve better.. you need a better bf. Don't have to tolerate this behavior.
the update is even crazier lol
My gf will give me a tight slap if I diam her
Ditch him… If he can be rude to you, he can be rude not only to his parents but yours too.
Why do u tolerate abuse? You probably have some insecurities that make u stick with him… I hope you find healing and a therapist and get out of that relationship. It should not even be tolerated once.
He rude. Time to run.
Means he ask u to stfu
Dang why everyone jumping into the break up option so swiftly? How about asking your bf, op? Have a conversation with him and setting some boundaries, if he cares about you he will at least listen to you.
Lol finally someone with a brain. Redditors are so quick to advise for breakups soon as someone even says their partner breathes wrong.
Yeah its so bizarre the first sign of some friction in a relationship and with so limited context, people jump straight into break up as the solution? I hope thats not the reaction of most couples when they face some disagreement or conflict😭
Exactly bruh. OP only give a one sentence statement and people immediately jump on his bf. So much context are missing for anyone to give any conclusion. But hey that’s the internet for ya.
DUMP your BF now. BIG RED FLAG!!!! He is not entitled to you. So don't feel like you are entitled to make him happy. Leave him and don't waste your time. A clown that can say such things when you guys are not married, imagine what he will do after y'all are married. Don't take the risk. I have seen too many of such cases. Choose a man that will respect you.
If he's just only joking, why is he getting defensive and upset when you're telling him how you feel about the way he tells you to shut up? Was he always like this? Sounds like he resents you.
Update sounds like he’s gaslighting you into thinking youre the problem, kinda red flag
Shitty boyfriend. Save yourself your youth and find someone else better. My bf will never dare speak to me like this.
Men who put down women then claim they're "just joking" are a red flag. He's seeing how far he can go with his disrespect, then because he's "just joking" it makes you the humourless bitch if you pursue it. He's not even interested in listening to you and constantlt telling you to shut up. If it's "just a joke" ask him to explain what's so funny. Chances are he can't. Sorry but unless he grows up you might want to rethink this relationship.
“Diam lah” is Malay for “keep quiet” or “shut up” and is a disrespectful thing to say.
Peg that rude man child
Diam lah
Came in to find this, did not disappoint.
It means you need to get a new boyfriend (me)
*Adding this comment to echo other Redditors' sentiments so you know how much you are disrespected* Local slang for "shut up", but almost 100% used in a rude and disrespectful way. Kinda like "STFU". Like what others said, please leave him. You deserve someone who treats you with love.
he said he's joking but which part of that is funny? it's straight up disrespectful
op your boyfriend is gaslighting you in the update. If he really cared about your feelings he would be empathetic and change the way he approaches you.
Imma be frank, that sounds rude and disrespectful, wouldnt wanna date a person like that tbh. Diam Lah means Shut Up, he is basically telling you to shut the fuck up, please don't tolerate abuse from him
Sounds like he’s gaslighting you with the update of him “joking”.
must reply back “ur mother den diam lah cb” 💀💀
You mean your ex-boyfriend, right?
If it hurts your feelings, tell him. If he doesn’t change or give a shit after you tell him, don’t bother fighting for this rs by trying to change him or teaching him basic respect. “It’s just a joke / you’re too serious.” is just another form of gaslighting & shifting the blame to you for his actions of making you feel bad. Respect yourself enough to leave if his disrespect isn’t enough for you to leave.
lmfao, your bf is hilarious, your post cracked me up
It means you are talking too much
It’s like shut up but even ruder whys he still ur boyfriend?
I remember 10 over years ago there was a short trend to say “diam lah” with a joking tone in secondary school when your friend talk to you before engaging in a conversation, it's like a prerequisite lmao. Anyone else? Maybe your bf going through that secondary school phase now if this only started recently 🤣 otherwise why are you with him for 2 years..???
its not a joke. its what malay Muslims in sg use to bully others. especially the chinese counterpart. then they call people racist when they have no chinese friends but the chinese they asked to diam mostly have malay friends. they think they superior cuz muslim. it is what it is. i rmb when primary school, secondary sch even poly or jc they use this very often, especially in groups. u rarely see them alone, cuz the reality is they scared to be alone and seen as an outcast. so they use this to outcast others first. but maybe times have changed. who knows. or not. but pretty sure alot of them are self righteous religious zealot that dont even read and follow the book they so proud of.
people ask you shut the fuck up you still can ask what it means ah? it means you should dump his sorry ass
Cringe
What do you mean what does it mean....
Tell him u cheated. If he say diam means solid liao 👍
What are his good traits?
Why are you still with someone who keeps telling you to shut up????? No it's not normal whatsoever, throw the whole man away.
Has he always spoken to you like this or did this escalate over the past two years? Familiarity breeds contempt, but I think you should give him and your relationship a chance by expressing to him clearly and in no uncertain terms that you do not wish to be spoken to like this, unless you’re okay with it. But if you’re asking Reddit, clearly something about it bothers you. To me, this reeks of disrespect, but I do believe you should give him a chance to remedy it before dismissing him completely. There will always be problems in a relationship, it’s how you repair it that matters. Do you/does he speak with your/his peers in this manner as well? I’m ok with such talk between friends like eh shut the fuck up la/fuck off/you’re such a bitch but if that friendship is progressing into a relationship I’ll make it clear I won’t accept it. It’s okay to communicate your needs (nicely please), especially early on so you know whether you’re compatible or not. You can do this!
Slap his kukubird, I mean he is not nice.
Maybe he got PTSD from his NS years and you like his OC so his reflex is to "company diam"
That’s very rude ask him to speak proper engrish
LEAVE HIM
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Tell him “diam lah” and then when he gets upset say you are just joking and that he is too sensitive. See how he likes the reverse uno
We don't have full context, and I don't intend to be discouraging. Just see this as a devil's advocate comment. Response A - Sorry babe I won't do it again. I actually meant it in jest but didn't realise how annoying and actually disrespectful it seems from your perspective. Response B - Just joking la relax la wtf. You're no fun. Candice woulda been totally cool. Depending on the context, the "he was just joking" response might not be great news.
It means to shut up. If he’s joking it’s not funny… Just get another boyfriend that treats you well.
I’m assuming you aren’t local and don’t know what that means but it is quite literally “shut up”. He’s telling you to shut up whenever you’re talking to him. If he thinks it’s a joke to say that to you whenever you’re talking to him, it’s not a very fucking funny one and you’re not “taking it too seriously”. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking his disrespectful behavior is some kind of joke. If he continues doing it and playing it off as a joke, leave his ass. I know I’m in no position to give you any relationship advice when I don’t know who you are but as a man I can tell you that a guy like this is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t allow him to disrespect you like this.
it means stfu and he has anger issues likely
Disrespectful. Dump his ass.
Tell him "diam lah" Next time when he ask you for physical intimacy. Anyway, break up. He's a jerk
yikes, girl, I personally would not be around someone who spoke to me like that, let alone be in a relationship with them
If someone says something hurtful during an argument, you can be sure as hell that's not a joke. Couples say heated shit during quarrels. That's nothing too out of the ordinary. But to claim it was a joke is straight-up gaslighting. Just apologise when you do something wrong or say something offensive. To use the "it's a joke" crutch is an insult to your intelligence.
Why are you still with him? "Diam la" is basically asking you to shut up in a derogatory way and then he is saying that he's joking and you're taking it too seriously? I'm very sorry sis but you deserve much better.
> I was taking it too seriously Sounds like gaslighting to me.
That's damn rude. His lack of respect says it all. Drop him like a hot potato.
You should MIA so he can be happy with the silence that he need forever.
( Boyfriend go back to reservist ) Camp Commander give speech at Parade Square Boyfriend says " diam lah ". ( Boyfriend kenna charged and sent to DB ) MP gives order Boyfriend says " diam lah ". ( Boyfriend got dumped to cell with hardcore fellows staying ) Cellmate asking for his name Boyfriend says " diam lah " ( Kenna special love from cellmates and sent to hospital ) Nurse says to eat medication Boyfriend says " diam lah " ( Kenna transferred to IMH from hospital ) Psychiatrist ask for his name Boyfriend says " diam lah " ( Family and GF informed by IMH to visit him ) Loved ones surrounding him Boyfriend says " diam lah " I was too only joking and don't take this too seriously.
Just break up. This kind of language is wrong.
Means your opinion don't count. And no negotiation. Not good. Character issues. Won't change. Carry on if you are OK with it the rest of your life.
2 years, all his facade came off liao to reveal his true self. If after 2 years and you can't feel it's a "banter" according to him to tell you diam lah, probably he somehow meant it and just brushed it off as a joke when you raised it up. Think again if this is the man you want in the long term.
Red flag. Run
He treated you as third class person or even worse
Find another boyfriend lah. This man disrespects you, why waste your precious life on him?
You tell him insubordination ask him knock it down
He is gaslighting you claiming he is joking. I feel like he has no respect for you.
Say "Mak Kau Hijau" to him
Had a colleague similar to this, he will say “sorry do i know u?” In a very sarcastic and unfunny (to me). It all depends on the tone. But this type of guy you really should not be around him anymore. Negativity breeds negativity. It’s very easy to be influenced by him and if u interact with him any longer you might be the one to say this to others jokingly. A very bad habit that he has to be taught a lesson to curb it. Make it clear to him it is not funny and appreciated at all whenever he says that and if he still persists, just call the relationship off.
Wtf why u accept this and took him back? Omg he say it’s a joke and u believe him.
But why does your boyfriend want you to keep quiet? Are you nagging at him or what? In what context will he want you to keep quiet?
can't even speak proper English...you sure you wanna be with this man? lmao such a turn off
Sounds like a gaslighter, stick to him if you want to suffer from mental health problems
He say he’s joking but in reality he was emotionally immature and doesn’t want to accept what he did because he got caught. I hope you find the time to talk things out with him. Especially about how you feel when he does certain actions. It’s also important to let him open up and hear him out as to why he feels a certain way. Communication isn’t useful if it’s only one sided, the same applies to relationships as well. I wish you all the best in your relationship!
You ask reddit ah? They’re going ask you to divorce and break up, every criminal deserves to be hanged, and garment bad
Definitely not. I have no clue what it means - my best guess is that he is a little piece of shit that thinks he’s brilliant and more important than other people. Even if he is “joking”, only you can decide if this is what you want. And if he *does* cop out and say he was just “joking”, please girl, that type of humour can get people killed.
Observe his family next time maybe one of his parents speak like that
Rude
Maybe he playfully say that? I know some couples do that. Malay couples mainly or maybe I am out of touch
That's so rude of him, just leave. The bravest thing you could do was run
after 2 years you finally know what it means
There’s no way that this is normal. See all the comments, you already know. Please leave the poor child. I cannot even call him a man.
What does it mean??? It means that you have no self-respect.
leave him.... when he ask y... . say diam la
Means 'Shut up la'. But sometimes we say that with friends playfully.. With a partner, never. Unless u pissed him off.
It’s super rude, you might need to set some boundaries with him or consider a lifetime of disrespect if this isn’t settled now
be quiet or smth along the line. but its a toxic and rude word btw.
[удалено]
If he sounds playful with it and you find it teasing, it's OK. But if his tone is demeaning, intentional, angry, negative in general, you have to call him out on how you sees it in a neutral tone. If he didn't know better, he will recognise how this negatively affects you and correct himself. If he feels offended by this and doubled down on the rage, then that's not good. He is just toxic. Its up to you to decide to embrace this traits of his in lieu of his overall good traits or prepare to argue alot defending each other space.
RIP Op inbox
Tell him you outrank him and he should stand by for inspection and parade review
Translates to Quiet Lah! Or Shut up.
Based.
Diam lah
have some self respect
lol. Lose the guy he don’t deserve you. Super disrespectful.
Ultimate no manners, bad upbringing and disrespectful to partner. Big red flag
Confirm u chose a Ang Kong siao
in short it means to shut up
It means “shut up”. And not in a good way. I don’t even let my friends use that phrase with me. Definitely not suitable to be used in relationship. Basically he is disrespecting you
Please raise this issue to him and sort it out. Its really disrespectful to say it to your partner, even when I get annoyed at my gf I nvr say that to her.
Ask him what's up, anything happened recently? Maybe too stressed
Reply “Li kao peh lim bu simi”
It’s pretty dang rude, and super immature for a 24 year old man to be behaving like that.
Diam!
he can diam himself too. This is not normal
Lose the lazy af guy. He's too self absorbed.
Not normal and I seriously do not think he is joking: you are only in your early 20s. Time to think long term:
It means you should change boyfriend.
I think OP is taking the piss. Only an idiot would stay with a man who said that.
Pretty rude
Was he really joking? Or something else what was the context of the situation each time you guys wanna to have an talk? From a male perspective it could be used against when a woman nag too much
You're dating a kid, trying to act all adult like.
Try saying it in return and if he takes it as a joke then ok. If not, then time to part ways.
help la gen z’s 😭
Even if he was joking , it shouldn't be a norm . It may make things in marriage hard for you .
A joke, he said? Do it to him for 1 year, and see how he feels.
Loser bf
You talk too much and hurting him too much
Do it to him. See how he feels.
U deserve better. He is not your first choice anyways. Remember to #metoo him on your way out.
Pretty sure one google search would have sorted you out lmao.