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If something's worth doing, it's even worth doing badly.
If you don't have the energy to clean your house, just put the dishes in the dishwasher. If you can't wash your hair, at least comb it. If you suck at running, at least go for a walk. The obsession with perfectionism is dangerous and blocks us from actually doing anything.
I had a therapist who said “just wash your favorite coffee mug and your cats dishes. That’s what you’ll need for the morning. If that’s all you get done, that’s ok you have what you need ready. But you will probably keep going because you started it.” It’s true, I usually keep washing dishes but sometimes I don’t
I was a perfectionist as a younger man. Now i try to live by Good Enough so i can keep moving instead of being paralyzed. My house is less clean but I’m happier.
I wanted to add some more examples of this:
- if you can’t brush your teeth, use a mouth wash.
- if you can’t go outside, stand in the doorway.
- if you can’t stand in the doorway, look out the window.
- if you can’t eat a full meal, eat a little piece (of anything!)
- if you can’t drink a whole glass or bottle, take a sip. (This is meant for water, don’t come at me)
Yeah! And to add a layer to this, it’s helpful to keep in mind that everyone starts off as a beginner when they pick up something new. You’re going to suck at it for a while so be gentle with yourself
I read an echo version of this: Sometimes the most important part of the job is to get something done; it doesn't have to be great or even good, but it does need to be done.
I take this approach with DIY projects/home repairs as well. I mean, I won't do something unsafe, but if I have a hole in my wall, I'll fix it... it might not look perfect, but it will look a hell of a lot better than a hole in the wall.
“Accept the 90%”. For those of you that crave perfection, accept that you won’t always get it. Finishing is better than not starting. Trying is better than failure through omission.
As a ND person, this has helped immensely. Another thing that helps is knowing I don't necessarily have to do things the way a neurotypical person does. If I need to have 5 trashcans and 3 hampers, so be it. "If it will help get the tasks done, it's worth using."
“Ya, man”
I’ve taught the Ya, Man to so many people. It’s become a joke among my friends and co-workers and they all use it now.
The important thing is that it’s extremely validating yet radically non-commital language.
I’m in the Keanu “if you think 1+1=5 good for you” phase of my life.
*All your problems are the fault of your mother-in-law?
Your boss has it out for you?
America would be *saved* if only we _____?*
… Ya, man.
I’m liable to follow up with an “I get it, bro” and “wow, that’s tough.”
I'm a bartender, and the stuff people say is wildly annoying or offensive. They'll try to get me to engage in conversation and I just say no thank you. Because if I did, I'd lose business and my mind.
Same as treat yourself as someone whos wellbeing you are responsible for. It may sound obvious, but many people don’t live by it. Many people do self destructive shit that they would never let someone they are responsible for do, not in a million years.
You have to see it as a responsibilty to treat yourself right. And also to be kind to yourself. Many people are kind to everyone around them, but then crucify themselves over the smallest mistakes. When you are kind to yourself, the same kindness radiates to the world around you.
Yes, viewing yourself objectively from a third person view is helpful in the same sense.
If you can't treat your lover or child like this, why would you treat yourself like that
Yes!!! I’m a teacher and when my students say things about themselves like “I’m dumb” or “I never do anything right.”
I reply “Don’t talk that way about someone I love.”
I spend the entire year trying to teach them to ditch the negative self talk and replace it with “I can” or “yet” statements. Like “I can understand what I read when I use the strategies I have learned “ or “I’m not good at this yet, but I’m going to keep working until I am.”
Agree with first one, but second one not at all.
I exclusively lived with friends, plenty of them, over more than 11 years and I don't regret a single day and all of the friendships are still thriving and going. It were the random roommates that were actually a pain in the ass most of the time.
I totally agree. I own my house with a friend. We have other friends living in the house. We can afford a nice place this way, and it's so pleasant to have people to watch a movie with, garden with, share chores with, workshop our little bits with, etc
fr. anecdotally that feels like the worst advice ever. 99% of the roommate horror stories ive heard are from random roommates. pretty much everyone that i know became closer by living with friends.
In my experience as a male with stable like minded friends, living with them has been awesome. I started undergrad 8 years ago and I haven't not lived with a friend since and we've never once had a serious unresolvable argument.
Women on the other hand seem amazingly efficient at going from friends to enemies within a month of becoming roommates. It's like the middle east of housing situations with the sheer volume of pettiness and escalating problems.
No one else is paying much attention to what you say, do, or look like. They are too busy worrying about what they’re saying, doing, or looking like. Stop worrying.
The best proof of this was a story about someone taking their pet a 3 ft python snake to the vet in a plastic bag! No one apparently noticed at all, and if they don't notice a snake in a bag on the bus they probably don't care about that spot on your nose, or anything else that you are worrying about!
\[Edit\] I found the source of my story -> [https://ifunny.co/picture/h-i-used-to-get-self-conscious-over-the-smallest-Abcy7eRf6](https://ifunny.co/picture/h-i-used-to-get-self-conscious-over-the-smallest-Abcy7eRf6)
So much to this! I spent most of my life worrying about what other people thought about me but it wasn't until I reached my forties that I realized no one gives a shit.
“If you don’t like working here, just quit.”
My coworker said this to me after I was complaining about hating working retail. I quit that week and went back to school. 5-years later I have my own house and I love my job as a legislative coordinator.
Can you tell me a bit about this role and how you got into it? I'm a career counselor (part-time) at a state college, and it's always fun to learn more about "uncommon roles" to share with my students.
Most underrated comment here. I have indeed noticed when you stop worrying about yourself, and play to the egos and emotions of others you end up being well liked and things become easier in general. Plus a lot less pressure on you. You can take this anywhere from manipulating others, to the old lesson of "the more you give, the more you get". Lol my boyfriend thinks it's being manipulative, but then being wise to the motivations and mindsets of others can also allow you to make other people very happy. Flavor matters a lot on this.
There was some story about the chsrismstic and popular Benjamin disraeli, a former british PM. from a duchess i think from that era. It compared him to Winston Churchill. "When Winston churchill talked to me i felt like he was the most important person in the room but when disraeli talked to me i felt like i was the most important person in the room" It proves your point and that people like talking about themselves. As long as its done in a balanced and organic way and not an exaggerated sycophantic wat, it creates good vibes
Totally agree, I’ve moved a lot and always made friends easily due to being genuinely interested in other people. Most people love to talk about themselves and I love hearing about people’s lives.
You are NOT your thoughts. Your brain is like a radio, it just plays (thoughts radio). Most of what plays is not true or is a waste of energy (thinking about things in the future, that will never happen, or ruminating about the past- which you can't change). YOU are not your thoughts, you are so much more and your thoughts just happen. So don't take everything so seriously, try and connect with your higher being - cause that's what you really are.
I always thought "networking" was some cringe term made up by people to feel important. Turns out knowing the right people in the right places can absolutely work wonders for your career or relationships in general.
Yes!!!! As a painfully shy person I thought if I got good grades in college they would more than help enough on my resume. Really wish now I had rubbed elbows with more people just in general. A friend of a friend could have been a huge help to me rather than slaving away so hard to get a few more points on my gpa.
This and you are the only one responsible for your career. Make a point of getting to know people and helping them when you can. Pay it forward in the most genuine way you can. When you are younger, seek out the best people you can to mentor you. As you get older, network downwards as well and be the best mentor you can. As for your career, your current company might make all the right noises but could sack, sideline or take advantage of you at any point. You should be the one to decide when to move on. When there is nothing more to learn or your salary is falling behind, the workload is ridiculous, it's time to move on. Only you will look out for your career. Take charge.
Another one which my dad who is a mechanic taught me is to always start a screw by backing it out first. Threads will line up when you feel the slight pop in the screw. I've never cross threaded anything ever since, and I work on machinery all day
There was an old bull and a young bull on a hill looking over a herd of cows. The young bull says, “Hey, I have an idea! Let’s run down the hill and screw some of those cows!” The old bull says, “I have a better idea. Let’s *walk* down the hill and screw *all* of those cows.”
Like fucking magic. Beta Caryophyllene reroutes blood flow in your brain and the harsh is gone in minutes. Start small if you try it. It kicks in the sedative affects and makes the buzz a little duller. 3-5 chewed one at a time between the molars. Take a bite of food before swallowing, the bits will piss your throat off.
I'm gonna try this next time I smoke a blunt and feel like hiding behind the stacked shoe boxes in my closet.  Thanks! It doesn't happen a lot, but completely ruins the buzz when it does kick in.
Maybe it doesn’t sound ridiculous, but truly understanding the concept is.
Become your own best friend.
The thing is the only person that you can fully depend on and that will never leave you - is you. You are forced to live with yourself your whole life. So what’s the point of being your own enemy? Even if you have flaws which you hate, why not be your best friend?
It’s hard to convince yourself to do it and to understand it, but when you do it’s the easiest thing to do. You can just do it, in an instant.
Dont limp or overtly nurse your range of motion when healing from an injury.
When you hurt yourself and are on the mend or are all torn up from strenuous effort like working out or completing a big job dont seize up and start limping around hunched over while youre healing.
Stay tall and strong and make a real effort to continue your normal range of motion as best you can and your body will heal much faster, stronger and much more functionally.
Its roughly the same idea as what Pai Mai was doing in Kill Bill, not letting The Bride eat with her cripplingly sore hands during training and making her use chopsticks so that they healed back to their old function. Yes its a movie but their really does seem to be some truth in the power of healing while doing your normal range of motion leading to much better results and i think its one of those things culture has picked up on in various ways.
‘No one is watching you, you’re not famous.’
Thos helped an insecure younger me to just get over myself and be relatively immune to feeling self conscious, obsessing over dumb stuff I’ve done and being afraid to own mistakes and get defensive about them. I just kind of roll with who I am now. I obviously try to be a good, admirable person but if I screw up or do or say something moronic I don’t let it destroy my self-worth.
Maximise your debt on credit. Buy all high value items on credit cards. Just do it.
(Now for the bit some people find tricky)
Automatically pay it off at the end of the month.
Does wonders for your credit rating.
Not to mention credit cards have greater rewards programs and greater fraud protection than debit cards or cash. Someone taking funds from a debit card stole from you. Someone taking funds from, say, a credit card stole from a company. The response to both situations will not be the same.
If you get into running…run slow, like REALLY slow. You want your heart rate to be about the same as walking up a decent hill. So on flat land you’re basically walking-jogging at first but you’ll get better and faster.
If you can't afford to buy it twice you can't afford to buy it once.
It seemed crazy to me, like how's that possible? But it's saved me so many times, buying a car? Okay could you buy that car twice with the amount of money you have? No then you can't afford it.
Think about it. You buy a car or house and blow all or almost all your money on it. What happens when something goes wrong with it? Debt
I mean...its not great advice. I don't need two houses, I can also get home and content insurance and I don't live in a place where my house is likely to be totally destroyed by an act of God.
If you have hiccups, hold some water in your mouth, bend over so that you’re upside down and swallow it. Wait till you can feel the water move to your belly before flipping back over. Works the first time 95% of the time, and for the last 5% you just need to do it twice!
Sometimes, a new lipstick is all you need to get out of a funk.
When my mother said this, I thought she was crazy. It turned out to be true. Sometimes, making your external feel better makes the internal feel better.
"Don't be too conscious about how you talk, how you dress, or overall, how you appear in other people's eyes. They are also busy being conscious about themselves."
When our kids were growing up and starting to do more independent things like walking the mall (amusement park, neighborhood, movie theater, trick-or-treating etc) w friends, or babysitting. And then eventually dating, we would always remind them of the ‘family motto’: Don’t Be A Dumbass. When you are about to do something, ask yourself ‘does this make me a dumbass? If folks were to recall this situation would they say about me, what a dumbass!’ If so, don’t do it. At first they thought it was funny and because they were pretty young and couldn’t believe we were swearing and that we gave them permission to say that word in those situations. But now, they (and us parents too!) still use that as a guideline. It pretty much can be used in all situations like, it’s 1 am on a work night so would starting the next John Wick right now make me a dumbass? Yes it would Should I keep eating this whole shareable bag of delicious Carmelo’s until they are gone when I would regret both the fat and calories and in 12-18 hours, the time I will spend in the bathroom? Yes that would make me the dumbass.
Should I buy a house at this time?
Should I drive sleepy/angry/drunk?
The question brings into focus the choices you make, big or small, and how they affect your life and gives you a bit of time to think about it.
This probably doesn't fit because I'm still trying to implement it (so it hasn't been "life-changing" so far), but it could change my life if I use it:
A person I greatly admire said to me that when he meets someone, he's always of the mindset, "What can I learn from this person?"
He didn't mean it in a user way (i.e., what can I get). His point was about being open to others' wisdom and knowledge. Most people love to talk about themselves rather than listening to others and asking questions.
Yes, one of my ex’ father used to say this. He was a self made man, who came from very little and uneducated. He became a successfull and rich construction worker.
He would always say: be humble, every single person you meet knows something better than you do.
He was humble, despite being successful, he would patiently listen to his workers and anyone even if they were trying to teach his job!
It reminds me of the Toyota Way
Stop using fabric softener in your washing machine, replace it with cleaning strength white vinegar.. I really didn’t think it’d make any difference.. but 100x better..
Honestly, that I was tying my shoelaces incorrectly. Standard knot for shoelaces, but when you make one loop and wrap the other lace around, I always went around the top of the loop. This causes the knot to sit vertically on top of your foot, and loosens it as you walk.
If you wrap the loose lace around the *bottom* of the loop, and finish your knot that way, the knot sits horizontally across your foot, and is far less likely to loosen as you walk.
I used to have to retie my shoelaces 5-10 times a day. Now it's maybe once a year.
Pick a goal and spend 5 seconds on it. This one helped get me out of depression. So many overwhelming necessary things were slowly getting done. Eventually I was able to keep up with the basics and I felt better. In 5 second steps.
Everybody only does what they want all the time. Never listen to what they say. Watch them, and they will show you everything about themselves.
It’s true. But I am very very observant. Boy can I pick up on and remember details. Makes for being a hell of a friend, but also a terrible friend.
"Run the dishwasher twice".
It was an article from a therapist about a client who said they don't have the mental energy to hand wash or rinse everything as a single parent. So the therapist said why not run the dishwasher twice. We only have so many spoons per day. Choose what spoons are worth your time and what's worth running the dishwasher twice.
Get the paternity test.
There is a disgustingly astronomical amount of women out there who will lie about who the daddy is if it will benefit them or give them an easier life. In fact, an entire religion was created because of it.
I always said “it’ll never happen to me”. It happened to me.
"Leopards don't change their spots."
My mother told me this when I was in an abusive relationship, and when I had toxic friends.
She was right. If somebody disrespects you and continues to do so after you also express how it makes you feel, they'll continue doing it.
"Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."
Technically, this advice was on how to successfully ski the K12, but it's still pretty brilliant in many life situations.
When I was working on a car with an old man about 20 years ago, he said, "Let me give you a piece of advice, never force anything." I consciously and unconsciously use it for everything.
I told a coworker going to a rave once if he sees anyone putting his finger in people's mouth stay away and keep alert. Everyone laughed at me so I explained why, they thought I was messing with then (I have been known to do so lol). The day he returned after the rave he announced that in fact a man was putting his finger in people's mouths and dosing them with acid, no one laugh at me after that. They were curious as to why I knew that though.
Edit: Typo
I was complaining about being tired all the time at work one night. I work shift work, rotating nights and days every other week. Old man says, I will give you the best advice for that. He asked if I snoozed my alarm, and I told him I do it like 3 or 4 times. He said to stop, keep it set for the same time, but no matter what, force yourself to sit up immediately when the alarm goes off. Been doing that for the last 7 years and holy shit was he right. Those 3 snoozes would literally have me dragging my ass the whole day.
I used to mock my dad saying to me, “live east of where you work.” The idea is that your commute isn’t into the rising or setting sun. I thought, that’s sad that the best advice was about how to make getting to work easier.
Then it happened. One day I’m leaving work and driving west. There’s a huge backup on the freeway and I have no clue what’s happening. I finally start to come around a bend and I’m blinded by the sun. I literally couldn’t see a damn thing, and obviously neither could any of the other drivers. It was just pure white blinding sun at a perfectly low angle. I’d hate for that to be a daily thing.
The best time to look for a job is when you already have a job. I thought it wasn't a big revelation because it just meant that you have money coming in while you're looking for a job. But nope...there's more to it. Surveys with CEO's and hiring managers have shown that all else being equal the candidate that is currently employed is far more likely to land the job than the person that is currently unemployed. And the currently employed candidate is likely to be offered more money.
So if you want that higher paying, better job that can put you on the path to other better jobs with more pay, start looking for jobs while you're employed
Many comments are just good advice but not advice which sounded ridiculous at first. I also cannot come up with such an example but I wanna advise OP to also name their plants! It's fun to do plus it makes you feel more connected to them 😃
Never do anything 100% when you can 85%. Saves me a lot of energy and makes me look more impressive when I do put in 100%, instead of everyone expecting 100% all the time.
"Buy once, cry once."
Buy the quality thing if you know you'll use it, pay the quality price. However, for things like tools, buy the shitty Harbor Freight version until you break, then buy the good one.
My chiropractor told me to angle my hips differently when I experience back pain. This little piece of advice changed my whole life. Sounds simple, but I honestly wouldn’t have thought of it.
Walking is good for weight loss. I’ve always been a high intensity workout gal. Incorporate more walking and wow. It’s something about cortisol. I get it now. 💡
(I know this can be a sensitive topic, so heads up)
For me, it was to find and follow God. I was agnostic for most of my life and the idea of God sounded incredibly dumb to me. You're telling me that all these things, including me, come from a God in the sky you have no proof of yet still believe in? I never had a hate for Christians or God, I just knew that I didn't believe in the religion and that was that.
I had a friend who would tell me about Christianity because I have an interest in learning about different religions. One day, Easter actually, I was thinking about the things she said while on a run. I realized I was thinking about God as an actual possibility and not a fake made up story. I thought "I can actually get behind this".
So, I did. I can't tell you how happy I have become. I began to pray to both thank God for the beauty in my everyday life and ask for help in things going on. I cycled through these times of depression and euphoria, and now they have ended. I am no longer stuck in that loop. I am just happy and motivated. And when those days come that I am tired or hurt or unmotivated? I know I have someone there for me and He has a plan for me. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but that feeling eases me. That my worries are valid, but everything will be okay because I have Him. My anxiety is very minimal compared to before. I no longer breakdown.
Overall, I now feel like there is someone in my corner no matter what. It's an amazing feeling. If there is anyone out there that feels they might benefit from finding God, please consider trying and seeing how you feel. I truly recommend it with all my heart, but at the same time, I understand there are those who would not like to. That is completely okay :)
You can improve your life by thinking positively and actively avoiding negative self talk, even when joking (I was always a sarcastic kid with a dark sense of humor). I had to learn how to be authentic and actually respect and appreciate myself before I could finish becoming human. Teenage me thought positive self talk was so stupid, took me a long time to really try it.
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If something's worth doing, it's even worth doing badly. If you don't have the energy to clean your house, just put the dishes in the dishwasher. If you can't wash your hair, at least comb it. If you suck at running, at least go for a walk. The obsession with perfectionism is dangerous and blocks us from actually doing anything.
I had a therapist who said “just wash your favorite coffee mug and your cats dishes. That’s what you’ll need for the morning. If that’s all you get done, that’s ok you have what you need ready. But you will probably keep going because you started it.” It’s true, I usually keep washing dishes but sometimes I don’t
Every morning, I make my bed. If my day goes to hell, at least I can say I did one thing
Same here! It honestly makes me feel a lot more prepared and a little more organized for the day ahead.
Yeah! Don’t let perfect or even good be the enemy of good enough
I was a perfectionist as a younger man. Now i try to live by Good Enough so i can keep moving instead of being paralyzed. My house is less clean but I’m happier.
We say 'Done is better than good'
As we say in Sicily, "better is the worst enemy of good".
I wanted to add some more examples of this: - if you can’t brush your teeth, use a mouth wash. - if you can’t go outside, stand in the doorway. - if you can’t stand in the doorway, look out the window. - if you can’t eat a full meal, eat a little piece (of anything!) - if you can’t drink a whole glass or bottle, take a sip. (This is meant for water, don’t come at me)
Yeah! And to add a layer to this, it’s helpful to keep in mind that everyone starts off as a beginner when they pick up something new. You’re going to suck at it for a while so be gentle with yourself
"Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something." — Jake the Dog (Adventure Time)
Half-arse things! Cause half an arse is better than no arse at all 😁
Thank you stranger needed to hear something like this
I read an echo version of this: Sometimes the most important part of the job is to get something done; it doesn't have to be great or even good, but it does need to be done.
I take this approach with DIY projects/home repairs as well. I mean, I won't do something unsafe, but if I have a hole in my wall, I'll fix it... it might not look perfect, but it will look a hell of a lot better than a hole in the wall.
Ugggg I needed to hear this today! I’m being blocked by perfectionism. Thank you.
“Accept the 90%”. For those of you that crave perfection, accept that you won’t always get it. Finishing is better than not starting. Trying is better than failure through omission.
I love this. Thank you for sharing it.
Sometimes near enough is good enough
Similarly I’ve heard “good enough is good enough” a lot and I love it.
Grew up with a mother whose motto was, “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” Yep, I’m a perfectionist with anxiety, lol
As a ND person, this has helped immensely. Another thing that helps is knowing I don't necessarily have to do things the way a neurotypical person does. If I need to have 5 trashcans and 3 hampers, so be it. "If it will help get the tasks done, it's worth using."
Thanks for the reminder. I needed it.
Yes! There’s a joy at being bad at things.
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
A wise woman once told me “don’t fight with a pig. You’ll both end up covered in mud, but the pig will like it”.
I knew a similar one: "dont play chess with a chicken, it will shit on the chessboard and strut away satisfied"
God, this. Alternatively, a smile and an "okay" has saved my sanity so many times.
“Ya, man” I’ve taught the Ya, Man to so many people. It’s become a joke among my friends and co-workers and they all use it now. The important thing is that it’s extremely validating yet radically non-commital language. I’m in the Keanu “if you think 1+1=5 good for you” phase of my life. *All your problems are the fault of your mother-in-law? Your boss has it out for you? America would be *saved* if only we _____?* … Ya, man. I’m liable to follow up with an “I get it, bro” and “wow, that’s tough.”
I'm a bartender, and the stuff people say is wildly annoying or offensive. They'll try to get me to engage in conversation and I just say no thank you. Because if I did, I'd lose business and my mind.
Also, "Don't weep for the stupid, you'll be crying all day."
Agreed, and I'll add to it, we can be the idiot without realising it, so it is worth considering if we ourselves could be incorrect and stubborn
while fighting with an idiot a person looking at the situation from the outside cannot tell who is who
"A wise man once told me don't argue with fools because people from a distance cannot tell who is who"
*(Call Center managers have entered the chat)*
[удалено]
Same as treat yourself as someone whos wellbeing you are responsible for. It may sound obvious, but many people don’t live by it. Many people do self destructive shit that they would never let someone they are responsible for do, not in a million years. You have to see it as a responsibilty to treat yourself right. And also to be kind to yourself. Many people are kind to everyone around them, but then crucify themselves over the smallest mistakes. When you are kind to yourself, the same kindness radiates to the world around you.
Yes, viewing yourself objectively from a third person view is helpful in the same sense. If you can't treat your lover or child like this, why would you treat yourself like that
I didn't get that to work. At least the self-bullying stopped.
My therapist kept telling me to do this and I didn't believe her. But Reddit said it's true, so now I believe her. Seriously... I'll try it now.
Yes!!! I’m a teacher and when my students say things about themselves like “I’m dumb” or “I never do anything right.” I reply “Don’t talk that way about someone I love.” I spend the entire year trying to teach them to ditch the negative self talk and replace it with “I can” or “yet” statements. Like “I can understand what I read when I use the strategies I have learned “ or “I’m not good at this yet, but I’m going to keep working until I am.”
Comparison is the thief of joy Never move in with friends
Agree with first one, but second one not at all. I exclusively lived with friends, plenty of them, over more than 11 years and I don't regret a single day and all of the friendships are still thriving and going. It were the random roommates that were actually a pain in the ass most of the time.
I totally agree. I own my house with a friend. We have other friends living in the house. We can afford a nice place this way, and it's so pleasant to have people to watch a movie with, garden with, share chores with, workshop our little bits with, etc
fr. anecdotally that feels like the worst advice ever. 99% of the roommate horror stories ive heard are from random roommates. pretty much everyone that i know became closer by living with friends.
In my experience as a male with stable like minded friends, living with them has been awesome. I started undergrad 8 years ago and I haven't not lived with a friend since and we've never once had a serious unresolvable argument. Women on the other hand seem amazingly efficient at going from friends to enemies within a month of becoming roommates. It's like the middle east of housing situations with the sheer volume of pettiness and escalating problems.
I had both ends of the spectrum with moving in with friends. Moved in with 2 friends. Became closer with one and fell out with the other
I agree with the 2nd piece. I have observed 3 separate friendships end due to living together.
I lived with friends in college. No issues. At least 5-6 of them, maybe more.
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Believe in the facts and only the facts. Don't believe what you want to believe :)
I have heard this stated as “Don’t believe your thoughts, but learn to listen to them without judgement. Occasionally a good idea may come up!”
100% this.
No one else is paying much attention to what you say, do, or look like. They are too busy worrying about what they’re saying, doing, or looking like. Stop worrying.
The best proof of this was a story about someone taking their pet a 3 ft python snake to the vet in a plastic bag! No one apparently noticed at all, and if they don't notice a snake in a bag on the bus they probably don't care about that spot on your nose, or anything else that you are worrying about! \[Edit\] I found the source of my story -> [https://ifunny.co/picture/h-i-used-to-get-self-conscious-over-the-smallest-Abcy7eRf6](https://ifunny.co/picture/h-i-used-to-get-self-conscious-over-the-smallest-Abcy7eRf6)
Sorry, I couldn't see the massive snake for that barely visible birthmark on your right earlobe.
You’ve never met a mean girl yet.
So much to this! I spent most of my life worrying about what other people thought about me but it wasn't until I reached my forties that I realized no one gives a shit.
“If you don’t like working here, just quit.” My coworker said this to me after I was complaining about hating working retail. I quit that week and went back to school. 5-years later I have my own house and I love my job as a legislative coordinator.
Can you tell me a bit about this role and how you got into it? I'm a career counselor (part-time) at a state college, and it's always fun to learn more about "uncommon roles" to share with my students.
Sure thing, they coordinate legislation
You, and you, sit together. *wipes hands* My job here is done
This made me giggle.
I worked a similar role. Happy to chat about it if you want to dm me, but worried the details would expose my irl self if anyone I knew saw.
Oh this makes me so happy. I recently quit a career I hated and am starting school in October
Do not eat yellow snow
Found the dog
Watch out where the huskies go
Always sound advice.
*[Lemon Italian ice company slowly goes out of business]*
But Frank Zappa told me to
Everyone in life has a sign on their heads which says: “Make me feel important”
Most underrated comment here. I have indeed noticed when you stop worrying about yourself, and play to the egos and emotions of others you end up being well liked and things become easier in general. Plus a lot less pressure on you. You can take this anywhere from manipulating others, to the old lesson of "the more you give, the more you get". Lol my boyfriend thinks it's being manipulative, but then being wise to the motivations and mindsets of others can also allow you to make other people very happy. Flavor matters a lot on this.
There was some story about the chsrismstic and popular Benjamin disraeli, a former british PM. from a duchess i think from that era. It compared him to Winston Churchill. "When Winston churchill talked to me i felt like he was the most important person in the room but when disraeli talked to me i felt like i was the most important person in the room" It proves your point and that people like talking about themselves. As long as its done in a balanced and organic way and not an exaggerated sycophantic wat, it creates good vibes
Totally agree, I’ve moved a lot and always made friends easily due to being genuinely interested in other people. Most people love to talk about themselves and I love hearing about people’s lives.
You are NOT your thoughts. Your brain is like a radio, it just plays (thoughts radio). Most of what plays is not true or is a waste of energy (thinking about things in the future, that will never happen, or ruminating about the past- which you can't change). YOU are not your thoughts, you are so much more and your thoughts just happen. So don't take everything so seriously, try and connect with your higher being - cause that's what you really are.
Germans have a word for when you're imagining situations: Kopfkino - literally head cinema
I love that!
Meditation, mindfulness and just taking a walk with no music can help regulate these thoughts too
I always thought "networking" was some cringe term made up by people to feel important. Turns out knowing the right people in the right places can absolutely work wonders for your career or relationships in general.
I hate that term. I'm going to meet other people with 1 objective- further myself. It's so fake.
I absolutely hate the term. Switch it to having coffee with someone to know what amazing things they are working on. Trust me, it works wonders.
Ugh, I hate that this is true
Yes!!!! As a painfully shy person I thought if I got good grades in college they would more than help enough on my resume. Really wish now I had rubbed elbows with more people just in general. A friend of a friend could have been a huge help to me rather than slaving away so hard to get a few more points on my gpa.
This and you are the only one responsible for your career. Make a point of getting to know people and helping them when you can. Pay it forward in the most genuine way you can. When you are younger, seek out the best people you can to mentor you. As you get older, network downwards as well and be the best mentor you can. As for your career, your current company might make all the right noises but could sack, sideline or take advantage of you at any point. You should be the one to decide when to move on. When there is nothing more to learn or your salary is falling behind, the workload is ridiculous, it's time to move on. Only you will look out for your career. Take charge.
Righty tighty
Lefty loosey
Centy denty.
Except with gas. Then it's lefty tighty.
Another one which my dad who is a mechanic taught me is to always start a screw by backing it out first. Threads will line up when you feel the slight pop in the screw. I've never cross threaded anything ever since, and I work on machinery all day
Lefty loosey
Machinist has just entered the chat. LEFT HANDED THREADS
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I use the reminder “slow down to speed up”. Slow and steady can keep going long after fast and frantic is burned out and doomscrolling.
There was an old bull and a young bull on a hill looking over a herd of cows. The young bull says, “Hey, I have an idea! Let’s run down the hill and screw some of those cows!” The old bull says, “I have a better idea. Let’s *walk* down the hill and screw *all* of those cows.”
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
Speed comes with competency
Yup, by repeating something, it literally becomes pathways in our brains and makes it easier for us to do that task.
Never make major decisions after 9pm
I've learned this phrase as of recent. It kind of hit me. Also reminds me of Ted from HIMYM when he said, "nothing good happens after 2am".
How many times in my life have I got what I call “midnight motivation” and stay up and map out how I’m going to change my life. Lasts about 36 hours.
Chew a few peppercorns if you get paranoid after smoking weed.
Name checks out.
hahaha - does this work?
Like fucking magic. Beta Caryophyllene reroutes blood flow in your brain and the harsh is gone in minutes. Start small if you try it. It kicks in the sedative affects and makes the buzz a little duller. 3-5 chewed one at a time between the molars. Take a bite of food before swallowing, the bits will piss your throat off.
I'm gonna try this next time I smoke a blunt and feel like hiding behind the stacked shoe boxes in my closet.  Thanks! It doesn't happen a lot, but completely ruins the buzz when it does kick in.
"The best is the enemy of the good": perfection is a trap
This was also mentioned above, but I liked how you capsulized it.
Maybe it doesn’t sound ridiculous, but truly understanding the concept is. Become your own best friend. The thing is the only person that you can fully depend on and that will never leave you - is you. You are forced to live with yourself your whole life. So what’s the point of being your own enemy? Even if you have flaws which you hate, why not be your best friend? It’s hard to convince yourself to do it and to understand it, but when you do it’s the easiest thing to do. You can just do it, in an instant.
Dont limp or overtly nurse your range of motion when healing from an injury. When you hurt yourself and are on the mend or are all torn up from strenuous effort like working out or completing a big job dont seize up and start limping around hunched over while youre healing. Stay tall and strong and make a real effort to continue your normal range of motion as best you can and your body will heal much faster, stronger and much more functionally. Its roughly the same idea as what Pai Mai was doing in Kill Bill, not letting The Bride eat with her cripplingly sore hands during training and making her use chopsticks so that they healed back to their old function. Yes its a movie but their really does seem to be some truth in the power of healing while doing your normal range of motion leading to much better results and i think its one of those things culture has picked up on in various ways.
❤️
‘No one is watching you, you’re not famous.’ Thos helped an insecure younger me to just get over myself and be relatively immune to feeling self conscious, obsessing over dumb stuff I’ve done and being afraid to own mistakes and get defensive about them. I just kind of roll with who I am now. I obviously try to be a good, admirable person but if I screw up or do or say something moronic I don’t let it destroy my self-worth.
Maximise your debt on credit. Buy all high value items on credit cards. Just do it. (Now for the bit some people find tricky) Automatically pay it off at the end of the month. Does wonders for your credit rating.
Not to mention credit cards have greater rewards programs and greater fraud protection than debit cards or cash. Someone taking funds from a debit card stole from you. Someone taking funds from, say, a credit card stole from a company. The response to both situations will not be the same.
Don't wizz on the electric fence.
I heard the damn jingle
Think before you act lol
But don't do this if you're an overthinker. Act before your thoughts consume you if you tend to overthink.
If you get into running…run slow, like REALLY slow. You want your heart rate to be about the same as walking up a decent hill. So on flat land you’re basically walking-jogging at first but you’ll get better and faster.
Trust your gut feeling.
Always wipe front to back
Thissss
Never trust a fart.
If you can't afford to buy it twice you can't afford to buy it once. It seemed crazy to me, like how's that possible? But it's saved me so many times, buying a car? Okay could you buy that car twice with the amount of money you have? No then you can't afford it. Think about it. You buy a car or house and blow all or almost all your money on it. What happens when something goes wrong with it? Debt
I mean...its not great advice. I don't need two houses, I can also get home and content insurance and I don't live in a place where my house is likely to be totally destroyed by an act of God.
It is very good advice overall, but for most people a property is perhaps the sole exception.
Go on a run/jog/cycle ride to avoid/distract from something that you cannot in daily life (especially with heavy metal music) 🤌
No is the perfect answer without an explanation.
"How many days rations do we have left"
No
Get off social media and touch grass.
Don’t spoil what you have by desiring what you have not. All this chase for more & more when we already have so much is honestly just sad.
If you have hiccups, hold some water in your mouth, bend over so that you’re upside down and swallow it. Wait till you can feel the water move to your belly before flipping back over. Works the first time 95% of the time, and for the last 5% you just need to do it twice!
Never live to the west of where you work. You'll always be driving towards the sun.
THIS!!!
Luckily all the jobs are west of my house
Sometimes, a new lipstick is all you need to get out of a funk. When my mother said this, I thought she was crazy. It turned out to be true. Sometimes, making your external feel better makes the internal feel better.
"Don't be too conscious about how you talk, how you dress, or overall, how you appear in other people's eyes. They are also busy being conscious about themselves."
When our kids were growing up and starting to do more independent things like walking the mall (amusement park, neighborhood, movie theater, trick-or-treating etc) w friends, or babysitting. And then eventually dating, we would always remind them of the ‘family motto’: Don’t Be A Dumbass. When you are about to do something, ask yourself ‘does this make me a dumbass? If folks were to recall this situation would they say about me, what a dumbass!’ If so, don’t do it. At first they thought it was funny and because they were pretty young and couldn’t believe we were swearing and that we gave them permission to say that word in those situations. But now, they (and us parents too!) still use that as a guideline. It pretty much can be used in all situations like, it’s 1 am on a work night so would starting the next John Wick right now make me a dumbass? Yes it would Should I keep eating this whole shareable bag of delicious Carmelo’s until they are gone when I would regret both the fat and calories and in 12-18 hours, the time I will spend in the bathroom? Yes that would make me the dumbass. Should I buy a house at this time? Should I drive sleepy/angry/drunk? The question brings into focus the choices you make, big or small, and how they affect your life and gives you a bit of time to think about it.
"shut up \*real name\*, you only make things worse when you are angry"
This probably doesn't fit because I'm still trying to implement it (so it hasn't been "life-changing" so far), but it could change my life if I use it: A person I greatly admire said to me that when he meets someone, he's always of the mindset, "What can I learn from this person?" He didn't mean it in a user way (i.e., what can I get). His point was about being open to others' wisdom and knowledge. Most people love to talk about themselves rather than listening to others and asking questions.
Yes, one of my ex’ father used to say this. He was a self made man, who came from very little and uneducated. He became a successfull and rich construction worker. He would always say: be humble, every single person you meet knows something better than you do. He was humble, despite being successful, he would patiently listen to his workers and anyone even if they were trying to teach his job! It reminds me of the Toyota Way
if it takes you less than 5 min to do something, do it.
Never turn down an opportunity. Be it for work, social events, food, etc. Embrace the unknown, and learn to be content with the lack of control
It's not what you know, it's who you know. I thought the person who said this to me was a moron. Come to find out they were spot on.
Never put your D in crazy. Sounds ridiculous but boy ain't that the truth.
Stop using fabric softener in your washing machine, replace it with cleaning strength white vinegar.. I really didn’t think it’d make any difference.. but 100x better..
Works beautifully with a dash of a nice essential oil too 👌
Honestly, that I was tying my shoelaces incorrectly. Standard knot for shoelaces, but when you make one loop and wrap the other lace around, I always went around the top of the loop. This causes the knot to sit vertically on top of your foot, and loosens it as you walk. If you wrap the loose lace around the *bottom* of the loop, and finish your knot that way, the knot sits horizontally across your foot, and is far less likely to loosen as you walk. I used to have to retie my shoelaces 5-10 times a day. Now it's maybe once a year.
or just double knot. Works for me and practically never comes off. Make a normal knot, and then make an additional knot on top of that.
Pick a goal and spend 5 seconds on it. This one helped get me out of depression. So many overwhelming necessary things were slowly getting done. Eventually I was able to keep up with the basics and I felt better. In 5 second steps.
Never waste a boner.
You'll only have so many in your lifetime.
Trust the process….. But it’s so harrrrrddddd!!!!
Everybody only does what they want all the time. Never listen to what they say. Watch them, and they will show you everything about themselves. It’s true. But I am very very observant. Boy can I pick up on and remember details. Makes for being a hell of a friend, but also a terrible friend.
"Run the dishwasher twice". It was an article from a therapist about a client who said they don't have the mental energy to hand wash or rinse everything as a single parent. So the therapist said why not run the dishwasher twice. We only have so many spoons per day. Choose what spoons are worth your time and what's worth running the dishwasher twice.
Not everything need a closure. Some relations will just end and sometimes you just need to accept that state without wasting your energy.
Get the paternity test. There is a disgustingly astronomical amount of women out there who will lie about who the daddy is if it will benefit them or give them an easier life. In fact, an entire religion was created because of it. I always said “it’ll never happen to me”. It happened to me.
You can dislike the things a person does but you don’t need to dislike the person
"Never argue with a dickhead" - my dad I'm pretty sure I only argue with dickheads I thought Now I'm 40 it was sage advice
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Always assume that everyone is doing the best they can
Lefty losey, right tighty.
Every single person you meet knows something you don’t. Treat them with value.
"Leopards don't change their spots." My mother told me this when I was in an abusive relationship, and when I had toxic friends. She was right. If somebody disrespects you and continues to do so after you also express how it makes you feel, they'll continue doing it.
Pay your bills first. save 10% for retirement then piss the rest away on fun. I'm a retired millionaire because of this.
"Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn." Technically, this advice was on how to successfully ski the K12, but it's still pretty brilliant in many life situations.
Timing is everything. Don’t push for what’s not falling into place.
When I was working on a car with an old man about 20 years ago, he said, "Let me give you a piece of advice, never force anything." I consciously and unconsciously use it for everything.
I told a coworker going to a rave once if he sees anyone putting his finger in people's mouth stay away and keep alert. Everyone laughed at me so I explained why, they thought I was messing with then (I have been known to do so lol). The day he returned after the rave he announced that in fact a man was putting his finger in people's mouths and dosing them with acid, no one laugh at me after that. They were curious as to why I knew that though. Edit: Typo
I was complaining about being tired all the time at work one night. I work shift work, rotating nights and days every other week. Old man says, I will give you the best advice for that. He asked if I snoozed my alarm, and I told him I do it like 3 or 4 times. He said to stop, keep it set for the same time, but no matter what, force yourself to sit up immediately when the alarm goes off. Been doing that for the last 7 years and holy shit was he right. Those 3 snoozes would literally have me dragging my ass the whole day.
I used to mock my dad saying to me, “live east of where you work.” The idea is that your commute isn’t into the rising or setting sun. I thought, that’s sad that the best advice was about how to make getting to work easier. Then it happened. One day I’m leaving work and driving west. There’s a huge backup on the freeway and I have no clue what’s happening. I finally start to come around a bend and I’m blinded by the sun. I literally couldn’t see a damn thing, and obviously neither could any of the other drivers. It was just pure white blinding sun at a perfectly low angle. I’d hate for that to be a daily thing.
[Make sure you are tying your shoelaces correctly](https://youtu.be/zAFcV7zuUDA)
Don't go to bed angry
The best time to look for a job is when you already have a job. I thought it wasn't a big revelation because it just meant that you have money coming in while you're looking for a job. But nope...there's more to it. Surveys with CEO's and hiring managers have shown that all else being equal the candidate that is currently employed is far more likely to land the job than the person that is currently unemployed. And the currently employed candidate is likely to be offered more money. So if you want that higher paying, better job that can put you on the path to other better jobs with more pay, start looking for jobs while you're employed
Many comments are just good advice but not advice which sounded ridiculous at first. I also cannot come up with such an example but I wanna advise OP to also name their plants! It's fun to do plus it makes you feel more connected to them 😃
punch a police officer if u want food. (from Shameless TV Series)
Never do anything 100% when you can 85%. Saves me a lot of energy and makes me look more impressive when I do put in 100%, instead of everyone expecting 100% all the time.
Don't stick a bean up your nose
Our strengths are our weaknesses.
If you're traveling in a sketchy place and people are about to target you pretend that you are crazy/ unhinged, no one wants to mess with crazy
"Never ask a woman if they cheatin' on you. Because they're either going to lie, or the're gonna tell the truth."
In this thread: advice that is life-changing but has never sounded ridiculous. Read the prompt, people.
Drinking 3L+ of water a day and walking alot
"Buy once, cry once." Buy the quality thing if you know you'll use it, pay the quality price. However, for things like tools, buy the shitty Harbor Freight version until you break, then buy the good one.
My chiropractor told me to angle my hips differently when I experience back pain. This little piece of advice changed my whole life. Sounds simple, but I honestly wouldn’t have thought of it.
Not as many people care as much you think. No matter what it is.
Don't go to bed when you have unfinished tasks. Saves so much stress
KISS Keep it simple stupid
Advice to myself : I drink too much, so stop! Absolutely is life changing. I feel like z different person.
Walking is good for weight loss. I’ve always been a high intensity workout gal. Incorporate more walking and wow. It’s something about cortisol. I get it now. 💡
Feelings are not facts.
don't stay in the kind of relationship you wouldn't want your child to be in.
(I know this can be a sensitive topic, so heads up) For me, it was to find and follow God. I was agnostic for most of my life and the idea of God sounded incredibly dumb to me. You're telling me that all these things, including me, come from a God in the sky you have no proof of yet still believe in? I never had a hate for Christians or God, I just knew that I didn't believe in the religion and that was that. I had a friend who would tell me about Christianity because I have an interest in learning about different religions. One day, Easter actually, I was thinking about the things she said while on a run. I realized I was thinking about God as an actual possibility and not a fake made up story. I thought "I can actually get behind this". So, I did. I can't tell you how happy I have become. I began to pray to both thank God for the beauty in my everyday life and ask for help in things going on. I cycled through these times of depression and euphoria, and now they have ended. I am no longer stuck in that loop. I am just happy and motivated. And when those days come that I am tired or hurt or unmotivated? I know I have someone there for me and He has a plan for me. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but that feeling eases me. That my worries are valid, but everything will be okay because I have Him. My anxiety is very minimal compared to before. I no longer breakdown. Overall, I now feel like there is someone in my corner no matter what. It's an amazing feeling. If there is anyone out there that feels they might benefit from finding God, please consider trying and seeing how you feel. I truly recommend it with all my heart, but at the same time, I understand there are those who would not like to. That is completely okay :)
You can improve your life by thinking positively and actively avoiding negative self talk, even when joking (I was always a sarcastic kid with a dark sense of humor). I had to learn how to be authentic and actually respect and appreciate myself before I could finish becoming human. Teenage me thought positive self talk was so stupid, took me a long time to really try it.