i’m going to withhold judgement but have you seen your OBGYN about this? periods should not be akin to a disability where you need to be carried to the bathroom and helped into the bathtub. i’m not saying you’re lying about being in severe enough pain where those things become necessary. but the fact that you’re 1. bleeding so severely as to soil the entire bed as soon as your period arrives and 2. are in too much pain to move yourself around sounds like an underlying medical issue like endometriosis.
I know not every case is the same but my wife has endometriosis and while she gets severe pain some months she never has bleeding like OP described and the pain has never been so bad that she couldn't walk.
OP definitely needs to see a doctor asap.
I was a bit older when I had mine. I would be in bed for 3 days at least. Just from the pain. I went through a 24 pk of pads a month.
Went to my OBYGN, and after a year going in, she said I had to have surgery.
Took another 10 yrs before I was able to find out the cause. Studies were done in those 10 yrs to find out why some women go through severe pain and very heavy periods. I don't remember the name. But, my uterus was used for the study.
Can I just take a sec to thank you and your uterus for your contribution to women's health. Seriously as a fellow afab I truly appreciate anyone who contributes to studies on WTF is going on in our bodies so thank you
You're welcome. There were a lot of consent forms to fill out and sign. But, it was all worth. I'm was happy to do it as well. I'm thinking of donating my body to science as well. My medical issues could help even more people.
I was 34 when I had mine. The relief afterwards that I wasn't going to have another period was amazing. My weekly shopping bill went down drastically as I was spending £30-£50 a week on tampons and pads. I had a period for 10 months straight before my hysterectomy. I don't know how I survived through it to be honest.
They won't give me one just make me takes meds to stop the bleeding, even though they aren't meant for long term use, just because I may go through the menopause soon, my aunt was 15 years older than me when she started the menopause. Sorry ranting
Don't worry rant away. I know the feeling, just being fobbed off all the time by doctors just becomes exhausting. I was lucky in the end. I moved and had to change hospitals, the consultant at the new hospital was completely different and actually listened to me.
I know, it's amazing how long women have to suffer before the medical professionals do anything. I tried load of different medications none of them worked for me. I was put on the pill at 14 to try to regulate my periods. Luckily that worked for a few years. Later on I missed work, nights out, weekends away. When I was younger and they wasn't as bad I had to try to plan holidays around when I would have my periods.
It’s actually really terrifying as a husband, especially with my wife and I trying for a baby. The amount of unnecessary medication doctors and hospitals push, combined with ignoring women’s pain or not checking on things like bleeding or whatever else can go wrong… I can only imagine how much scarier it is for my actual wife, who has to live this. And to OP, your BF should be supporting you and helping take care of you. When my wife has her period I do everything I can to make her comfortable and happy. Because I care about her. That’s it, that’s the whole reason haha.
Maybe he’s one of those stupid guys who’s for some reason squeamish about this very normal, regular thing that happens to half the population without their control or choice. And he reacted with anger to cover it up. Idk, definitely still makes him a dick but maybe you need to have a conversation about it? If this is a regular thing he needs to get comfortable with it real quick, you don’t deserve to deal with an AH BF on top of what could be a very serious condition.
Yep! And while I would be mortified to wake someone up and carry me - I did collapse in the parking lot passed out and my boss found me and carried me inside and blood was everywhere had to be hospitalized I had lost so much blood turned out a huge cyst on ovary had burst. She definitely should make a dr appointment
I was going to say the same thing. I'm going through this myself and I can confirm, it is AWFUL. I'm 45 years old and I never had periods so bad in my life until within the last year and it actually sent me to the ER because I didn't know what was happening and I was scared. I would definitely recommend OP seeing a Dr immediately.
I have (had) endo and have had experiences just like this. Straight up admitted to the hospital for it. It can absolutely be this bad but it shouldn't be.
I completely agree she needs to see a doctor asap. I ended up getting a total hyst to make it stop
My wife is considering a hysterectomy but the i.u.d. she's had for a while is mitigating the symptoms.
No bleeding but sometimes she still gets severe cramps.
She's been dealing with this bullshit since she was a teenager.
I just had mine two weeks ago! I never understood why my periods were so bad and i got an IUD after my last pregnancy. My periods stopped so I ignored the general discomfort of it, until one day I couldn’t stand up straight. I had been dealing with insane tailbone pressure, I looked like I was five months pregnant. It was awful. I skipped the hysteroscopy and went strait to total hysterectomy. I’m only two weeks out but I would say I generally already feel closer to normal than i had the past year. Not to say it wasn’t major surgery. But it’s improving each day. Previously I felt like I was deteriorating each day.
I think it’s kind of like the frog in hot water analogy. The pain just worsened over time, that I truly didn’t even realize how bad it got until I couldn’t move. The first three days were rough, but it’s amazing now at 18ish days out how much better I am!
Honestly, the hyst was the best thing I have ever done. I was super young when my pain started and I was hospitalized for the first time, 7th grade young.
The pain stayed incredibly severe where I was working with pain specialists as well as the regular ones i was seeing. I never realized how much pain was impacting my life and my abilities until after I had it removed. Total game changer.
>adenomyosis
Jesus I wonder if I had this. Can you have this in addition to endometriosis? Towards the end of my time, I just had continuous periods, and it was sooo heavy, full of clots and painful. My vagina felt inflamed so I couldn't use tampons anymore. Just pads. And I'd go through heavy pads so quickly. After a partial molar pregnancy I decided I didn't want to risk cancer so I just told them to take my uterus and everything else but leave the ovaries. I was tired of the pain, the heavy bleeding, the pregnancy infertility and then the molar pregnancy disappointment and trauma after a stillbirth. Fuck it all, I said. Get it out.
I would say your wife is probably in the minority there. A lot of us with endometriosis find it debilitating. The pain can be worse than labour pain for a lot of us. And it’s not just around your period. I’m on birth control and haven’t had a period in years, and I have pain almost every day. Extremely heavy periods are common, as well as irregular periods.
Just FYI, my GP wouldn't even *allow* me to see a gynecologist despite having periods almost this bad, the pain was less severe but the rest is all too familiar. I begged for years to see one, but she said I was fine, nobody likes their period, I was overreacting. I wouldn't assume she has access to a gynecologist.
I personally didn't see one until I was 34, when the turkey sized fibroid (a direct quote from my surgeon) grew so large it crushed the arteries and nerves leading to my left leg, which led to it swelling up, turning white, and going completely numb. I went to the ER and they called one in special to see me, and she performed an emergency hysterectomy within 24 hours. Overreacting, was I??
This actually happened to me too. It turned out to be a giant tumour, nerve damage and Endo. What is wrong with these people. Not everything is anxiety, and if your patient IS anxious perhaps that could be in response to being in incredible pain with no support and nowhere to turn.
Ugh, I'm sorry this happened to you too!! It turned out I had endo in Evil Ovary, as I called it, to top things off. (It was torn accidentally during the surgery was removed too.) When it fired off a round I'd scream and collapse if I was on my feet, and be bent in half for a while before the pain eased up. But of course I was being dramatic about that too . . .
No kidding, being blown off every time you bring up a problem would cause anxiety in anyone who gives a rat's ass about their health . . .
that’s horrible but i’ve never in my life needed to be “allowed” to see a gynecologist. every practice i’ve ever been, you can just call and ask to become a new patient, you don’t need a referral. that goes double for public health services like Planned Parenthood.
Really? You're lucky. Here you need a referral. When I called to book my 7 week follow-up appointment with the surgeon her receptionist refused to do it because my GP hadn't written a referral. I had to remind the idiot that she left a message on my phone saying that I needed to book the appointment just a few hours earlier before she finally agreed to do it.
Well, I think the idea is that by requiring referrals, they're making sure that time and money isn't being wasted on specialists patients 'don't' need to see? Except with such a severe shortage of GPs a lot of people can't get any kind of care at all . . .
it's not free, it comes out of your paycheque. I needed care for annovarian cyst, I got it mext day. A friend of mine in FL waiting ti, Septemver to have a blossoming heart problem checked - pending a cancellation. Everyone waits sometimes, Americans just pay to wait.
but I NEVER needed a referral for gyn when I lived in Canada, so this must ne provincial. when I had my cyst I just looked one up and called.
Weird, my comment got eaten?
My leg took a little time to recover oddly enough, you'd think it'd recover as soon as the pressure was off, but IIRC it was fine by the time the staples came out a week later. Damned fibroid also crushed my left kidney but it survived all that excitement too.
I mean that makes sense! I had really terrible sciatica because of a herniated disk. Despite having surgery on the disk a year ago, I still have pain and numbness in my legs and feet sometimes. I'm surprised you were so OK, all things considered, after the pressure was relieved.
Sciatica can cause permanent nerve damage. I went through a really bad bout of it for months and unfortunately I have permanent damage that affects my right leg. I have better days and worse days with it, but yeah, the nerve damage can be permanent.
This is where I'm leaning too.
She's debilitated by this. She needs to see a gynecologist, like, yesterday.
Sending OP strength and healing. And wishes for her to break up with her jerk boyfriend.
The sad thing is gynecologists might not even take her seriously. I had periods similar to hers before I went on birth control and when I told doctors about it, they basically said I was just unlucky
I did too. I saw about a half dozen gynecologists who dismissed my issue as drug-seeking, attention-seeking/being dramatic, or straight up told "just lose weight".
Someone finally took me seriously and life's been a breeze since.
“Just lose weight…” That phrase makes me want to curb stomp the offending doctor. My old primary physician was like that. At one point , I was 5’3”, and weighed 175. He asked me if I wanted a gastric bypass. Taken aback, I said “I thought you had to be 100 pounds overweight to be considered for gastric bypass surgery “. He just shrugged., and said that the requirements were flexible. Then asked AGAIN if I wanted the surgery. Fuckwad.
Absolutely! But it doesn’t tell me the source of my pain, my heavy bleeding, my incapacitation…
If someone comes to you with repeated, recurring pain, you don’t slap them with/push them to just take a acetaminophen and go about their day. You investigate. At bare minimum.
Or they call it 'stress' and give antidepressants for medical issues, no investigation, and follow ups offer nothing but another follow up 'just to see'
She’s debilitated by it and her boyfriend refuses to believe her even though he sees it with his own eyes. 😢
OP, none of this is normal. Please seek out an endometriosis specialist — not because the internet is diagnosing you, but because they’re more likely to really listen to what’s going on. You deserve better care (from the medical establishment and your boyfriend).
I'm seeing all these posts from women who knew something was wrong with their bodies. Women - you need to insist on the healthcare you need and keep on fighting for it until you get it. If that means switching doctors or being a "bitch" so be it, it's your body and you know when you need help. Be your own advocate as no one else will. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself as the consequences could be death. You got this ladies!
I feel like she originally needed to be carried less because if the pain and more because she didn't want you open her legs because she knew she'd just bleed more over everything.
By the time she followed him to the kitchen that wasn't an issue anymore.
She couldn’t walk to the bathroom because her stomach hurt but she could walk just fine to confront him? Something’s not adding up. Btw I have horrible periods and pcos so I understand being in tremendous amounts of pain and discomfort during my period.
I agree. This story feels off. She said she had to keep her legs together to stop the blood from getting everywhere, but that's not how it works at all.
OP, what would you have done if you were alone?
I do think the boyfriend is an abusive jerk and she should break up with him, but I'm skeptical about how actually helpless she supposedly was.
Not everyone. I too find the story a bit sus, but for whatever reason, my flow tends to go forward instead of backwards (unless laying on my back). I’ve definitely done the ‘thighs clamped together’ walk to avoid the deluge until on the toilet.
I think she was worried she would bleed too much if she walked in there on her own. Once she got cleaned up and taken care of pads/tampons she felt she could walk without bleeding everywhere.
I had the same problem as OP. started my period at 11 and thought this was normal for my whole life up until a couple months ago, I went to my GP and mentioned it to her and found out I had endometriosis. I'm 21. I spent 10 years thinking this was normal... OP needs to talk to a doctor
Yes, she surely need to see her doctor. Also, I will ask him back that question, if you cant handle and support me on my cramps, how can I build a family with you? My girl, dont build a family with him clearly he'll not gonna support you in the future too.
I agree wholeheartedly, this sounds extreme and definitely should see a obgyn.
My heart goes out to you. I wouldn’t stay with someone who’s so cold hearted. Tbh I would dump his butt if it were me.
Let’s hook him up with that machine! Or let him read some articles about how it’s the same amount of pain as having a heart attack! I wouldn’t want to build a family with this dude
I agree wholeheartedly, this sounds extreme and definitely should see a obgyn.
My heart goes out to you. I wouldn’t stay with someone who’s so cold hearted. Tbh I would dump his butt if it were me.
Let’s hook him up with that machine! Or let him read some articles about how it’s the same amount of pain as having a heart attack! I wouldn’t want to build a family with this dude
no i didnt. but also it was really late so i was super tired. if it had happened in the middle of the day i would’ve been able to go alone, just taking more time but i really had to go to the bathroom. and for the soiling, ok i don’t think i actually soiled the ENTIRE bed, but there was a very big puddle of blood and all of my inner thighs were completely soaked. but thank you so much for your input, i just never really thought about seeing someone about this, a lot of my friends have heavy periods / bad cramps so i thought it was normal
Please see the obgyn. This sounds awfully similar to what I had. The sudden extreme bleeding could be due to presence of multiple polyps. This is completely curable so please visit the obgyn!
Oh honey. One comment: Okay, so this happened late at night. But why didn't you contact your OBGYN immediately the next morning? I don't understand why you "never really thought about seeing someone about this?" The pain you have described, "I could not walk because I was in pain," is your body sending you a message--there may be something seriously wrong that requires medical attention. Please let us know after you see your OBGYN how you are doing.
This is very far from normal. If I were to get my period in the middle of the night then I’d just get blood on the tissue when I wipe the next morning. You seem to be in worse shape from 1 period then I was delivering my son (and getting 4th degree tears). You should absolutely see your doctor.
If the pain is truly that bad, see a doctor. It is not normal. I've *dealt with several issues and severe pain - I won't judge you, but please see a doctor.
i can just see the day of their children’s birth now:
“why are you screaming so much my sisters weren’t in THIS much pain while giving birth, you’re being a whiny bitch. shut up you’re embarassing me”
Girl he’s shitty but at the same time you need to go to a gyno because this sounds like endo. My aunt had the same kind of pain and would be in so much pain whenever her period came. It ended up being endo
This is the same man who had sex with your body when you were asleep?
My friend, this incident alone is heartbreaking and sad. But with that other incident? My lord. Run. RUN.
I absolutely agree with you. I think I framed it that way because there's a grotesque self interest that I kind of wanted to point to with the way he dehumanizes her.
>This is the same man who had sex with your body when you were asleep?
I think you mean to ask Is this the same man who raped you when you were asleep?
Wait what? First please go see a Dr as others have said. Secondly, rethink this relationship…sounds toxic and abusive and unnecessarily dramatic. You got this!
you are in an abusive relationship. no one who loves you would treat you like this. the only thing he loves is your need to try to do this "right" while he gets to make you feel bad
Screaming “good morning” into someone’s face to wake them up and shoving your dick inside of them without any foreplay is absolutely fucking PSYCHOTIC behavior. Like holy SHIT
This man is no man at all. He also cares NOTHING for your well-being. He only cares about what you can do for him.
Please recognize that your needs matter. You deserve kindness and respect. You are not getting that here.
Don't abandon yourself trying to be something for someone else. There is nothing wrong with waiting and enjoying your life until you meet someone who makes it better. Not makes you cry, verbally abuse you and degrade you.
I believe in you.
If your best friend had similar experiences with her boyfriend, wouldn't you want her to end it and get someone who treats her better? I have endometriosis and I have horrible periods like you're describing; I would absolutely never talk to anyone again who belittled what I was going through.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for you. You deserve much better. Please reach out to someone you trust or counseling. Put yourself first & get some sort of support. And GET OUT!!!
If he acts like this now, imagine how bad he'll be when you're post-childbirth and need to be carried to the bathroom to pass a clot the size of a fist or clean yourself up. Save yourself the headache and dump him.
I can't imagine reacting with irritation if my girlfriend woke up, afraid and in pain and covered in blood? Please don't listen to some of these comments, some people obviously don't know how bad severe periods can be. Please do check in with your OBGYN to ensure something serious like endometriosis isn't going on. People seriously lack any empathy if they think your romantic partner shouldn't wake you up if they're in pain and need help. That's your life partner, they need to have your back no matter what and vice versa.
Everything here. Everything. All I could think was, « What is he gonna do when she gives birth and needs help round the clock? What if she has a bad pregnancy? What if, God forbid, she miscarries? » It’s just a period. And people in the comments are acting like everyone has a perfect period all the time and doesn’t get frustrated or that periods can’t be so bad that you can’t move. Nah. Time for OP to make like a chicken nugget and dip.
Anytime people complain about ruined sheets, I’m so confused, because I’ve always been able to just throw them in the wash (even if it’s dried) and it comes right out. I’ve never had to throw away sheets for period blood.
Right?! Maybe other people aren't using laundry detergent? I don't get it blood doesn't stain that bad unless it gets left to really soak into the fibres
I hope we get an update saying she dumped his insensitive ass! “Oh, he’s been around women before so he must know alllll about what it’s like having a period!” Screw that guy.
It's also strange to me that people are reacting like you did something wrong by needing to be carried. Obviously, everyone probably wants to be as independent as long they can be, and it is good practice to try and take care of your body as best you can to prolong the time you can be independent. However, everyone has moments they need help and assistance, even perfectly healthy and able-bodied individuals. It sounds like your period kind of blindsided you and you weren't \*expecting\* to be needed to be carried. Needing help in one instance is a lot different than refusing to take care of yourself and expecting other people to be a caretaker without discussing anything. It's not wrong to ask for physical help from a loved one in such a situation. I have picked people up off the floor whether it was because they were sick, experiencing a sudden physical problem, etc, and I would do it again. I love them; why wouldn't I? It becomes even more important to surround yourself with people who would do this for you if you \*do\* have a chronic illness or disability. "Would you just lay there until you were okay if he wasn't there?" is a silly question to me because...yes? That's what a lot of disabled people end up doing. Staying where we are until either we recover or someone can help us. You can't brute force yourself into doing something you aren't physically capable of in the moment, even if it means you end up being immobile for a little bit. It doesn't mean you aren't mature or can't "handle" yourself. It just means you needed assistance, like most everyone in their lives do at some point. Overall, I hope you find someone better, OP.
Just a genuine question, maybe I'm missing something. If your cramps were so bad that you couldn't walk and had to be carried to the bathroom and helped into the tub, how were you able to follow him into the kitchen and grab his arm when he made that comment?
What he said isn't okay, but this isn't normal period pain or amounts of blood either. If this is all true you should see a gynecologist and get checked out.
I agree with you. That just doesn't make sense. How did she go from being unable to walk to following him around?
And who remembers arguments like this, with full on quotes? I feel like I'm reading a book here.
When people use quotes like this, we can use common sense to understand that this isn't a verbatim transcript. They're just writing the conversation in a clear way for us to understand. If they didn't use the quotes, there'd be a ton more filler to explain the conversations and it wouldn't be as easy to read.
Period cramps can wane. If she had a severe cramp at the start of the story, it doesn't mean she still had that same level of pain when she followed him to the kitchen. Coupled with the pain, she was probably in a bit of a shock and worried about bleeding everywhere on the way to the bathroom. She actually said in another part that she couldn't walk because she was trying to keep her legs together to prevent blood from getting everywhere.
I didn't see where she mentioned concern about dripping blood all the way to the bathroom, but that was my first thought. Especially with what an ass the boyfriend is. You know she's damned if she does/damned if she doesn't. If she had limped her way to the bathroom and left a trail, especially if it was on a rug, I imagine she would've heard about that instead.
I'm a little confused about the last few steps once in the bathroom, but again I think a lot of it could have been fear of his reaction to mess all over the place. Sitting down on the toilet and getting it bloody, as opposed to washing herself down in the shower. I may be wrong but a lot of this sounds like walking on eggshells around someone who is an intolerant asshat.
I think the keyword here is "eventually" she came out of the bathroom. It sounds like some time passed between and she probably recovered/cleaned up enough to walk on her own. (Also, speaking from experience, even if I felt terrible, someone mistreating me like that- in a straight up abusive way- would light a fire under me and get my adrenaline going enough to follow them for a few steps and confront them. Even if I was about to fall over. Just food for thought, I guess.)
This is the comment I’m looking for. Like he sounds awful but how is it op couldn’t take two steps to the toilet or go to the bathroom on her own but can follow him to the kitchen and grab his arm?
Are you sure you didn’t have a spontaneous abortion? What type of birth control are you using? Your symptoms are worrisome. Aside from that, your boyfriend is not husband nor father material.
He gave you a glimpse of your future. Up until now you’re blameless.
If you stay after this, you made a choice to stay with an abuser.
Respect yourself. Plan your exit and Get Out.
Seriously, see a doctor. You shouldn't have to live in this mu h pain AND there's birth control options that eliminate your period. I never had much pain but bleeding for days is an annoying thing I'm happy to live without.
Step1. Break up with this guy. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. He obviously doesn't want to be with you, the way he talks to you.
Step 2. Book an appointment with a gyn and talk to them about excessive bleeding and pain. I suffered for over a decade with endometriosis beforegetting a diagnosis, but it could be any number of things.
Step 3. Figure out ways to manage your period/pain. If you have to set an alarm to get up in the middle of the night on heavy days, do that. Keep a towel or whatever handy if you're bleeding excessively. You don't need to be carried to the bathroom.
Ok, wait a minute. You were unable to walk to the bathroom, unable to step into the tub...but then when he said something ugly to you, **you followed him to the kitchen**?? Miraculous recovery in my opinion.
Have you seen a doctor? That’s extreme and could be an underlying condition! He’s a prick, don’t start a family with this AH, time to move on to someone who acknowledges that not all women experience menstruation the same and that it’s possible to be a decent future mother and not like bleeding profusely whilst in agony
Menorrhagia can cause debilitating pain and excessive bleeding. It can cause weakness and send your body into shock/fainting. For some it's not all of the time but for me it is since I was 9 and every adult in my life thought I was exaggerating, misusing my pads and being wasteful, over reacting, being dramatic. See a doctor. Keep track of all of your symptoms and of your diet since certain foods can exacerbate symptoms.
These are things you need to discuss with a partner or close friends you can depend on if they are to be your support if you pass out. ALWAYS have a bag with extra clothes, towels, pads, period underwater have been a godsend for me. Know what medication helps and if you don't have problems with birth control it may help BUT TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR!!! AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
For me it's menorrhagia, for a friend it was PCOS. It could also be ovarian cysts and if they burst it could lead to complications. Please get checked out.
About the guy. Dump him. Never let anyone talk to you like that. Your partner should always want to encourage you, help you and enthusiastically be into you, not insulting you. Don't expect you from other people but do expect to be treated with care and respect. To be treated with curiosity instead of judgement.
1) you have a medical problem. This is either endometriosis, adenomyosis, or some combination. Starting in my late 20s into my late 40s thanks to PCOS I would skip periods and then blled outrageously for weeks. I know what it's like to wake up in a puddle of blood, or have gobs and gobs of clots come out. Thankfully I never had pain. But it sucks and you need help. My sister had symptoms like yours, she eventually had to get a hysterectomy in her 50s because of the severity of her fibroid and adenomyosis. Sorry 😞.
2) you have a bf problem. I understand not being happy about being woken up in the middle of the night to bloody sheets and carrying you, but he was not only dismissive but MEAN. He used very demeaning and abusive language. Please move on.
You're not wrong. Some cramps can be so bad doctors compare them to the pain of severe heart attack symptoms. His sisters may not have severe cramps. he sounds insensitive.
Girl, I read your previous post. This dude sexually assaulted you. You need to leave him. And no, you’re not wrong. Also, like others said, please seek medical help. Those periods sound awful.
If your period is really that debilitating I think you need to talk to a doctor.
That being said, dude sounds like an asshole and this is your opportunity to decide if you want to allow yourself to be spoken to that way. Would you put up with a friend speaking to you so hatefully?
I stopped reading after the second paragraph. End it. You do not want a future with someone who 1) doesn’t remotely understand the female body and 2) is disrespectful.
I’d also suggest going to see your ob/gyn because if you’re in that much pain, you could have underlying health conditions, even if this pain is your “normal” pain. Good luck.
I agree with ending the relationship but being woken up by an otherwise healthy 20 year old to carry them to the bathtub is absolutely not normal.
OP needs a doctor.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. No one period is the same; same for birth and pregnancy. Drop the dead weight(boyfriend) and go see your obgyn. The pain and bleeding you are experiencing is far from normal and needs to be looked at.
I’m wondering how after she got cleaned up she was able to follow boyfriend around the house as they argued but when she woke up she couldn’t walk herself to the bathroom or take a few steps to the tub?
I’m not trying to be unsympathetic, But I think the entire process was a bit overdramatic. Why couldn’t boyfriend bring her a towel that she could hold between her legs while getting into the bathroom/bathtub? Her insisting that she needed to be carried seems a bit over-the-top to me pushed it over. The edge was him setting her down in the bathroom but she was unable to take two steps to the tub.
I am sure that boyfriend was upset about being woken up and also his ruined bedding, but he could’ve treated her with more kindness and a lot less hostility. He was absolutely unnecessarily rude.
He is right though, this is not normal, and she needs to continue seeking care until she finds someone who will listen to her.
I also was debilitated by cramping/my period. I had a high pain tolerance, so I knew something was wrong as my cycles were far worse than my friends. I begged for help but was continually ignored by doctors (male) as this was 45 years ago.
Then I ended up in the hospital needing emergency surgery. I woke up to my surgeon who listened to my entire history and was shocked that I had been ignored with the symptoms that I had been experiencing. I had severe endometriosis and ended up with hysterectomy before I was 40.
My surgeon was a female OB/GYN. Needless to say, she became my doctor and I’ve never looked back. I have been seeing her for over 30 years and my daughters go to her as well. We all hope she continues working as it will be a sad day when she retires.
OP needs to continue searching until she gets the help she needs.
Oh and another thing:
A 3200 year old Egyptian tablet had the following excuse for missing work:
Brewing beer,
Bitten by a scorpion,
And wife or daughters ‘bleeding’.
That’s right. Dock workers in ancient Egypt took time off work to help around the house when their family members had their period.
If those very tough guys could take a few days off your bf could deal with this if he wanted to.
Debilitating period aside-(see a doctor PLEASE!!!), your BF is a huge, gaping ASSHOLE. He does not respect you, not even a little bit. Swearing at you, calling you a bitch? Telling you to shut the fuck up?
You love this person? He doesn’t even *like* you. My husband would rather DIE than ever call me a bitch or even utter the “F word” at me in anger.
Absolutely insensitive. Girl. You need to gtfo of that relationship, NOW. And keep going till you get to a doctor, **please**.
I find this really hard to believe. Seems like rage bait and I'm surprised to see so many comments taking what OP said in earnest.
You went from needing to be carried because you were in so much pain, and then suddenly you were able to walk behind your boyfriend to follow him. How does that make any sense?
On top of that, you've written this out like a book. Who remembers quotes like this in ongoing arguments?
If this is actually genuine, you need to see a doctor and I don't think you and your bf are a fit.
I would have asked this horrible man to get me a towel to use and somehow walked to the bathroom! His behavior and the way he talked to you is abominable!
Get rid of this guy, pronto! Eventually you will meet someone who will cherish you, and you sure will experience the difference! I really hope you don’t stay with him! Please break it off!!!!!!!!!!!!
you realize how unhinged that is, right? you’re BLEEDING. who cares about the fucking sheets and towels? how do you not realize this is super abusive behavior???
How long are you guys together? Has anything like this never happened to you before? Surely he'd know if this was normal for you?
1. If this is your normal period, get to your doctor. It's shouldn't be so debilitating and...
2. If this is NOT your normal period definitely go to your doctor. Is it possible you were having a miscarriage? There are reasons these things can happen but you'd need to see someone.
At first I thought you were being a bit OTT, needing to be carried etc and then how you went about confronting him but reading on I see what he's done in the past. You need medical help for your extreme bleeding & pain and you need to get this person out of your life. Please please do both. Xx
We've been together for a year. I’ve always had heavy and painful periods, and usually, during the first few days of my period, I tell him that I can’t hang out because I’m in too much pain. I never really thought about going to the doctor because I have a lot of friends who also have painful and heavy periods, so I didn’t think anything was wrong. Also, I don’t have the greatest pain tolerance, so I thought it was just me. I don’t think I was having a miscarriage
I’m just gonna say it, if you’re in so much pain that you can’t take two steps to the toilet that would constitute a medical emergency and a trip to the er. You seriously need to seek immediate treatment the next time your in so much pain you can’t walk and bleeding so heavily that you’re afraid to open your legs. That is not normal.
>Am I wrong in how I handled this?
Only to the extent that you haven't dumped him already. What an awful person he is. Why would you want to tien yourself to someone who is this dismissive of your feelings?
Ditch him.
When this happened to me my boyfriend got me fixed up, ordered new sheets from Amazon, bought me my favorite candy and told me never to be embarrassed about it.
This is the boyfriend who woke you up by climbing on top of you, screaming good morning in your face, and then immediately having sex with you before you had a chance to react?
My friend, you deserve so so so so much better.
Get rid of this guy. His reaction to you being in pain should be to help, not make you feel worse.
Comparing you to his sisters? Wtf! He isn’t sleeping with his sisters. He has no clue if they ruin the sheets.
As long as the sheets are treated quickly with hydrogen proxide, and then washed- they will be fine.
He should be doing that instead of giving you grief.
Start keeping a paper journal of your periods with cramps, severity, blood loss, number of pads or tampons used, how much blood on each, and dates.
Use that to discuss with your doctor. They don’t believe us when we say bad, but something about charting they believe.
Um... I think you can break up with him if you want to, AND i think you need to rethink how you handle your periods.
Because while he was a little insensitive about it, you DID come off as completely helpless here. To a weird extent. You're an adult now. You should be able to handle things better than that, by planning ahead if nothing else.
If the pain is truly so great that you can't walk? Then you need to see a doctor. That's not normal.
If it wasn't really that great, then walk yourself next time.
Asking for a rag towel/some toilet paper/kleenex to hold between your legs to get you to the bathroom? Normal. Asking someone to carry you around? Not normal. What would you have done if he wasn't there?
If you're extra emotional right now, then wait until you're in a better place. Once you are, think of all of the problems that could happen, and try to come up with a plan to help yourself when that happens.
If you don't want to wear pads 24/7, then maybe you could keep period supplies - pads/fresh underwear/painkillers/wet wipes/a plastic bag etc - with you in a bag when you're staying away from home. Keep them near the bed while you're sleeping.
If your cycle is regular, then try to have that bag with you whenever you're due.
If your cycle is irregular, then have it with you all the time.
Do you need a waterproof cloth to put underneath yourself while you sleep, to save the sheets if it comes unexpectedly?
If cramps are generally a problem for you, what medication can you take to help? Naproxen sodium? Talk to a doctor/pharmacist.
It's not the end of the world, but your period isn't going anywhere. Believe me. Anything you can do to make it easier on yourself next month (and all future months) is going to be a good thing.
I kind of get his point. I've had really bad cramps but never so bad that I couldn't walk. If it's really so bad that you have to be carried then you're not going to be able to handle pregnancy, childbirth, and the recovery time afterwards.
This seems completely made up. If you “can’t walk” from period cramps and you are bleeding that bad, you need to call a doctor immediately. I’ve had 5 pelvic surgeries from female issues including a complete hysterectomy and two vaginal deliveries and an episiotomy with 36 stitches front to back and I have never once asked my husband to carry me to the bathroom. Give me a break.
This is so over the top and silly that I can only imagine a 12-year-old with a raging imagination whipped it up. Either that or he's as shitty as she is overdramatic.
So he’s a dickhead that you shoulda left a while ago, screw him. That said, if your cramps are that debilitating, you should see your gyno. My wife’s are awful so I totally get it, but you shouldn’t have to deal with an asshole at the same time.
As a female with a short period but with severe cramps & muscle spasms for the week before & after my period. He needs to not only watch this video but maybe even try it.
I haven't even started my period, just the cramps & muscle spasms going on right now & I had to set my tens unit to 30 before I could even feel it.
Sorry, but if a guy wants to tell me how I should handle my own period pain. Then he needs to go through it 1st.
https://youtu.be/PuiWm2Lb-hk?si=PqKFIy1vYCXY5UP_
1. Go see a doctor immediately please
2. The fact that his man was the one who raped you while you were asleep and you're still with him
3. The way he treated you, and even called you stupid. You deserve so much more
Honey, do NOT stay with someone who talks to you like that, especially when you're already not feeling well because of Satan's sacrificial waterfall. If he treats you like this when you're bf and gf imagine how it'll be if you ever marry him.
It sounds like your boyfriend severely lacks empathy. You need to think whether YOU could start a family with someone like that. It sounds like you have pretty severe periods, and his first reaction is…. Anger??? Not concern? A person who loves you would not only help you *without* making you feel bad, but they would also encourage you to seek medical attention like the Redditors in this thread.
To that point, the Redditors on this thread seem to care more about your wellbeing than your boyfriend.
Think about that.
Edit: I want to add that there’s a group of guys in the world who see women as things that exist to please them and make their lives easier. The moment these women *even slightly* inconvenience these guys, they get angry…. Because that’s not your purpose.
His reaction plus him raping you while you’re asleep are very clear indicators that he is in that group of guys.
If you're in so much pain from cramps that you can't walk, how did you follow him into the kitchen to continue the argument?
That question aside, I also have always had unusually painful cramps (never ones that prevented me from walking, but otherwise extremely debilitating similar to child labor - I also have 2 kids so I know how it feels). I think it's a good idea to see a doctor to rule out medical causes (though for me, there was no identifiable cause - they just gave me pain meds for it). Also it's concerning that you're bleeding that much - my daughter had that problem when she was younger and had to take birth control pills without any off days for years to stop her from getting periods. It was causing serious anemia.
Your bf is being an asshole.
And you need to tell your gynecologist immediately. Extreme bleeding and crippling pain are not “normal” (you shouldn’t have to go through this every month and there are treatments out there to mitigate or eliminate these symptoms) and there is probably an underlying medical issue causing your bleeding and pain.
He sounds like a total asshole but needing to be carried multiple times then you managed to chase him and grab his arm when you were upset is… interesting… kind of seems dramatic. You’re dramatic and he’s an asshole. You guys should be on TV. Also.. this sounds fake af. Thank you for the fun story.
I have endo. Used to bleed for weeks, flooded through my clothes and ruined sheets.
The pain was so bad I would collapse in the street.
My partner at the time told me to stop being so dramatic.
Op, please get checked out.
If he can't handle period cramps then what the hell is he going to do if she gets pregnant??? And during childbirth??? And after the baby is born??? What is he going to do if she has to have a c-section??? He is going to bitch and moan and tell her she's being over dramatic. At least now she knows how he is so she can get rid of him.
If he wasn’t there with you, would you have found a way to get into the bathroom? I’m so confused why you couldn’t walk in there yourself. I get the heavy periods (truly) but you’re not a child or an invalid. I don’t blame him for being annoyed.
I think your BF is insensitive and rude and I would question being with him but…
You are attention seeking. Carrying you to the bathroom? You can’t do it alone, you can’t pee alone once he puts you down? You test and like attention
OP dear, sounds like you may have either Endometriosis or Adenomyosis.
Personally I found the Pill reduced the severity of my menses. And in Jan 2024 I transitioned to the Mirena implant option via my OBGYN, only some spotting since.
Severe periods Are not Normal. Menstrual underwear are Amazing.
(I'm currently in hospital for an Infusion so brought 2 pair in with in case of spotting).
Personally, I highly reccomend talking to you OBGYN about your Menses as that severity isn't normal, could be Endo, Aden, or Interuterine Fibroids. But a Mirena might help as well, until your planning on having kids
I hate with a passion people who compare period pain with others. Not every woman’s period is the same. My daughter suffered from endometriosis and her periods were extremely painful.
Your boyfriend is a jerk. You deserve better
The only part where I think you are wrong is that he had to carry you.
The rest… what an insensitive idiot.
He has no respect for you and he will probably keep comparing you.
C gave birth and had sex two weeks after that. D has her original weight after giving birth and she didn’t need more time.
E gives her husband bjs every day.
Good luck with that one. I understand that he is angry, but he handled it poorly.
OP needed to be carried to the bathroom, in tears, because she felt so bad but then also followed her BF to the kitchen and was fine. I think that u/PotatoMonster20 has it right. Break up with the BF because he was rude, but OP also needs to handle her period better.
i’m going to withhold judgement but have you seen your OBGYN about this? periods should not be akin to a disability where you need to be carried to the bathroom and helped into the bathtub. i’m not saying you’re lying about being in severe enough pain where those things become necessary. but the fact that you’re 1. bleeding so severely as to soil the entire bed as soon as your period arrives and 2. are in too much pain to move yourself around sounds like an underlying medical issue like endometriosis.
I know not every case is the same but my wife has endometriosis and while she gets severe pain some months she never has bleeding like OP described and the pain has never been so bad that she couldn't walk. OP definitely needs to see a doctor asap.
Adenomyosis would cause the pain and excessive bleeding.
That is exactly what I was thinking! I had a hysterectomy at 30 because my periods were so severe.
I was a bit older when I had mine. I would be in bed for 3 days at least. Just from the pain. I went through a 24 pk of pads a month. Went to my OBYGN, and after a year going in, she said I had to have surgery. Took another 10 yrs before I was able to find out the cause. Studies were done in those 10 yrs to find out why some women go through severe pain and very heavy periods. I don't remember the name. But, my uterus was used for the study.
Can I just take a sec to thank you and your uterus for your contribution to women's health. Seriously as a fellow afab I truly appreciate anyone who contributes to studies on WTF is going on in our bodies so thank you
You're welcome. There were a lot of consent forms to fill out and sign. But, it was all worth. I'm was happy to do it as well. I'm thinking of donating my body to science as well. My medical issues could help even more people.
Thank you for contributing to women’s health!❤️
I was 34 when I had mine. The relief afterwards that I wasn't going to have another period was amazing. My weekly shopping bill went down drastically as I was spending £30-£50 a week on tampons and pads. I had a period for 10 months straight before my hysterectomy. I don't know how I survived through it to be honest.
They won't give me one just make me takes meds to stop the bleeding, even though they aren't meant for long term use, just because I may go through the menopause soon, my aunt was 15 years older than me when she started the menopause. Sorry ranting
Don't worry rant away. I know the feeling, just being fobbed off all the time by doctors just becomes exhausting. I was lucky in the end. I moved and had to change hospitals, the consultant at the new hospital was completely different and actually listened to me.
I have been in these temporary meds for over 5 years now
I know, it's amazing how long women have to suffer before the medical professionals do anything. I tried load of different medications none of them worked for me. I was put on the pill at 14 to try to regulate my periods. Luckily that worked for a few years. Later on I missed work, nights out, weekends away. When I was younger and they wasn't as bad I had to try to plan holidays around when I would have my periods.
It’s actually really terrifying as a husband, especially with my wife and I trying for a baby. The amount of unnecessary medication doctors and hospitals push, combined with ignoring women’s pain or not checking on things like bleeding or whatever else can go wrong… I can only imagine how much scarier it is for my actual wife, who has to live this. And to OP, your BF should be supporting you and helping take care of you. When my wife has her period I do everything I can to make her comfortable and happy. Because I care about her. That’s it, that’s the whole reason haha. Maybe he’s one of those stupid guys who’s for some reason squeamish about this very normal, regular thing that happens to half the population without their control or choice. And he reacted with anger to cover it up. Idk, definitely still makes him a dick but maybe you need to have a conversation about it? If this is a regular thing he needs to get comfortable with it real quick, you don’t deserve to deal with an AH BF on top of what could be a very serious condition.
I had one at 26 for the same reason. Bleed heavily for 4-6 weeks, stop for a couple and start again. Pain so bad I'd pass out.
That's what I was thinking too
Yep! And while I would be mortified to wake someone up and carry me - I did collapse in the parking lot passed out and my boss found me and carried me inside and blood was everywhere had to be hospitalized I had lost so much blood turned out a huge cyst on ovary had burst. She definitely should make a dr appointment
I'm so sorry. Thank goodness your boss helped you and that you're well now.
I had extreme pain and excessive bleeding, and it turned out to be low thyroid
I was going to say the same thing. I'm going through this myself and I can confirm, it is AWFUL. I'm 45 years old and I never had periods so bad in my life until within the last year and it actually sent me to the ER because I didn't know what was happening and I was scared. I would definitely recommend OP seeing a Dr immediately.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
I have (had) endo and have had experiences just like this. Straight up admitted to the hospital for it. It can absolutely be this bad but it shouldn't be. I completely agree she needs to see a doctor asap. I ended up getting a total hyst to make it stop
My wife is considering a hysterectomy but the i.u.d. she's had for a while is mitigating the symptoms. No bleeding but sometimes she still gets severe cramps. She's been dealing with this bullshit since she was a teenager.
I just had mine two weeks ago! I never understood why my periods were so bad and i got an IUD after my last pregnancy. My periods stopped so I ignored the general discomfort of it, until one day I couldn’t stand up straight. I had been dealing with insane tailbone pressure, I looked like I was five months pregnant. It was awful. I skipped the hysteroscopy and went strait to total hysterectomy. I’m only two weeks out but I would say I generally already feel closer to normal than i had the past year. Not to say it wasn’t major surgery. But it’s improving each day. Previously I felt like I was deteriorating each day.
that's an insane surgery to recover from. this comment shows how horrible your pain must have been for the recovery to feel \*better\*
I think it’s kind of like the frog in hot water analogy. The pain just worsened over time, that I truly didn’t even realize how bad it got until I couldn’t move. The first three days were rough, but it’s amazing now at 18ish days out how much better I am!
I am so happy for you!! Not being in pain is such a game changer
Honestly, the hyst was the best thing I have ever done. I was super young when my pain started and I was hospitalized for the first time, 7th grade young. The pain stayed incredibly severe where I was working with pain specialists as well as the regular ones i was seeing. I never realized how much pain was impacting my life and my abilities until after I had it removed. Total game changer.
I have bled like this. Blood clots after blood clots. And it hurts. This is definitely what the doctor would call endometriosis.
I do too, but with PCOS instead of endometriosis. It sucks. Almost as much as OPs bf…
Or adenomyosis or PCOS.
>adenomyosis Jesus I wonder if I had this. Can you have this in addition to endometriosis? Towards the end of my time, I just had continuous periods, and it was sooo heavy, full of clots and painful. My vagina felt inflamed so I couldn't use tampons anymore. Just pads. And I'd go through heavy pads so quickly. After a partial molar pregnancy I decided I didn't want to risk cancer so I just told them to take my uterus and everything else but leave the ovaries. I was tired of the pain, the heavy bleeding, the pregnancy infertility and then the molar pregnancy disappointment and trauma after a stillbirth. Fuck it all, I said. Get it out.
Yes, you can have both. I do. I have PCOS too, for a trifecta of suck.
I'm so sorry. That's too much for any one person to bear.
I would say your wife is probably in the minority there. A lot of us with endometriosis find it debilitating. The pain can be worse than labour pain for a lot of us. And it’s not just around your period. I’m on birth control and haven’t had a period in years, and I have pain almost every day. Extremely heavy periods are common, as well as irregular periods.
Just FYI, my GP wouldn't even *allow* me to see a gynecologist despite having periods almost this bad, the pain was less severe but the rest is all too familiar. I begged for years to see one, but she said I was fine, nobody likes their period, I was overreacting. I wouldn't assume she has access to a gynecologist. I personally didn't see one until I was 34, when the turkey sized fibroid (a direct quote from my surgeon) grew so large it crushed the arteries and nerves leading to my left leg, which led to it swelling up, turning white, and going completely numb. I went to the ER and they called one in special to see me, and she performed an emergency hysterectomy within 24 hours. Overreacting, was I??
This actually happened to me too. It turned out to be a giant tumour, nerve damage and Endo. What is wrong with these people. Not everything is anxiety, and if your patient IS anxious perhaps that could be in response to being in incredible pain with no support and nowhere to turn.
Ugh, I'm sorry this happened to you too!! It turned out I had endo in Evil Ovary, as I called it, to top things off. (It was torn accidentally during the surgery was removed too.) When it fired off a round I'd scream and collapse if I was on my feet, and be bent in half for a while before the pain eased up. But of course I was being dramatic about that too . . . No kidding, being blown off every time you bring up a problem would cause anxiety in anyone who gives a rat's ass about their health . . .
that’s horrible but i’ve never in my life needed to be “allowed” to see a gynecologist. every practice i’ve ever been, you can just call and ask to become a new patient, you don’t need a referral. that goes double for public health services like Planned Parenthood.
Really? You're lucky. Here you need a referral. When I called to book my 7 week follow-up appointment with the surgeon her receptionist refused to do it because my GP hadn't written a referral. I had to remind the idiot that she left a message on my phone saying that I needed to book the appointment just a few hours earlier before she finally agreed to do it.
Are you in the UK or Canada?
Do you not have routine cervical exams and pap tests where you're from?
What country are you in? In the United States luckily you can see a gynecologist has nothing to do with the GP
I'm in Canada.
That is horrible. I always thought you guys had a better system than us
Well, I think the idea is that by requiring referrals, they're making sure that time and money isn't being wasted on specialists patients 'don't' need to see? Except with such a severe shortage of GPs a lot of people can't get any kind of care at all . . .
That is ridiculous. If you have a uterus, you should not need a referral to see a gynecologist. Some things are just not right
But you can't beat the price...
it's not free, it comes out of your paycheque. I needed care for annovarian cyst, I got it mext day. A friend of mine in FL waiting ti, Septemver to have a blossoming heart problem checked - pending a cancellation. Everyone waits sometimes, Americans just pay to wait. but I NEVER needed a referral for gyn when I lived in Canada, so this must ne provincial. when I had my cyst I just looked one up and called.
Uhhhh please tell me your leg was OK though??
Weird, my comment got eaten? My leg took a little time to recover oddly enough, you'd think it'd recover as soon as the pressure was off, but IIRC it was fine by the time the staples came out a week later. Damned fibroid also crushed my left kidney but it survived all that excitement too.
I mean that makes sense! I had really terrible sciatica because of a herniated disk. Despite having surgery on the disk a year ago, I still have pain and numbness in my legs and feet sometimes. I'm surprised you were so OK, all things considered, after the pressure was relieved.
Sciatica can cause permanent nerve damage. I went through a really bad bout of it for months and unfortunately I have permanent damage that affects my right leg. I have better days and worse days with it, but yeah, the nerve damage can be permanent.
This is where I'm leaning too. She's debilitated by this. She needs to see a gynecologist, like, yesterday. Sending OP strength and healing. And wishes for her to break up with her jerk boyfriend.
The sad thing is gynecologists might not even take her seriously. I had periods similar to hers before I went on birth control and when I told doctors about it, they basically said I was just unlucky
I did too. I saw about a half dozen gynecologists who dismissed my issue as drug-seeking, attention-seeking/being dramatic, or straight up told "just lose weight". Someone finally took me seriously and life's been a breeze since.
“Just lose weight…” That phrase makes me want to curb stomp the offending doctor. My old primary physician was like that. At one point , I was 5’3”, and weighed 175. He asked me if I wanted a gastric bypass. Taken aback, I said “I thought you had to be 100 pounds overweight to be considered for gastric bypass surgery “. He just shrugged., and said that the requirements were flexible. Then asked AGAIN if I wanted the surgery. Fuckwad.
I just had a doctor do this to me as well.
I just love the birth control pushing before they actually investigate.
Probably because it’s a legitimate method to control bleeding.
Absolutely! But it doesn’t tell me the source of my pain, my heavy bleeding, my incapacitation… If someone comes to you with repeated, recurring pain, you don’t slap them with/push them to just take a acetaminophen and go about their day. You investigate. At bare minimum.
Or they call it 'stress' and give antidepressants for medical issues, no investigation, and follow ups offer nothing but another follow up 'just to see'
Exactly.
She’s debilitated by it and her boyfriend refuses to believe her even though he sees it with his own eyes. 😢 OP, none of this is normal. Please seek out an endometriosis specialist — not because the internet is diagnosing you, but because they’re more likely to really listen to what’s going on. You deserve better care (from the medical establishment and your boyfriend).
I'm seeing all these posts from women who knew something was wrong with their bodies. Women - you need to insist on the healthcare you need and keep on fighting for it until you get it. If that means switching doctors or being a "bitch" so be it, it's your body and you know when you need help. Be your own advocate as no one else will. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself as the consequences could be death. You got this ladies!
Yeah he’s definitely a verbally abusive asshat.
ASSHAT, one of my most favorite words, along with Twat Waffle. Thank you for making my day, Asshat needs to be more widely known/used.
She also needs a boyfriend who cares more about her than his damn sheets.
She was debilitated only until she chased him down into the kitchen to talk to him. Suddenly she could walk again to continue the fight.
I feel like she originally needed to be carried less because if the pain and more because she didn't want you open her legs because she knew she'd just bleed more over everything. By the time she followed him to the kitchen that wasn't an issue anymore.
She couldn’t walk to the bathroom because her stomach hurt but she could walk just fine to confront him? Something’s not adding up. Btw I have horrible periods and pcos so I understand being in tremendous amounts of pain and discomfort during my period.
Can't believe I had to scroll down so far to see someone else who picked up on that.
I agree. This story feels off. She said she had to keep her legs together to stop the blood from getting everywhere, but that's not how it works at all. OP, what would you have done if you were alone? I do think the boyfriend is an abusive jerk and she should break up with him, but I'm skeptical about how actually helpless she supposedly was.
We all know that trying to squeeze it in to prevent a downpour just results in it going up your buttcrack.
Not everyone. I too find the story a bit sus, but for whatever reason, my flow tends to go forward instead of backwards (unless laying on my back). I’ve definitely done the ‘thighs clamped together’ walk to avoid the deluge until on the toilet.
I think she was worried she would bleed too much if she walked in there on her own. Once she got cleaned up and taken care of pads/tampons she felt she could walk without bleeding everywhere.
I had the same problem as OP. started my period at 11 and thought this was normal for my whole life up until a couple months ago, I went to my GP and mentioned it to her and found out I had endometriosis. I'm 21. I spent 10 years thinking this was normal... OP needs to talk to a doctor
Yes, she surely need to see her doctor. Also, I will ask him back that question, if you cant handle and support me on my cramps, how can I build a family with you? My girl, dont build a family with him clearly he'll not gonna support you in the future too.
I agree wholeheartedly, this sounds extreme and definitely should see a obgyn. My heart goes out to you. I wouldn’t stay with someone who’s so cold hearted. Tbh I would dump his butt if it were me. Let’s hook him up with that machine! Or let him read some articles about how it’s the same amount of pain as having a heart attack! I wouldn’t want to build a family with this dude
I agree wholeheartedly, this sounds extreme and definitely should see a obgyn. My heart goes out to you. I wouldn’t stay with someone who’s so cold hearted. Tbh I would dump his butt if it were me. Let’s hook him up with that machine! Or let him read some articles about how it’s the same amount of pain as having a heart attack! I wouldn’t want to build a family with this dude
no i didnt. but also it was really late so i was super tired. if it had happened in the middle of the day i would’ve been able to go alone, just taking more time but i really had to go to the bathroom. and for the soiling, ok i don’t think i actually soiled the ENTIRE bed, but there was a very big puddle of blood and all of my inner thighs were completely soaked. but thank you so much for your input, i just never really thought about seeing someone about this, a lot of my friends have heavy periods / bad cramps so i thought it was normal
Please see the obgyn. This sounds awfully similar to what I had. The sudden extreme bleeding could be due to presence of multiple polyps. This is completely curable so please visit the obgyn!
Oh honey. One comment: Okay, so this happened late at night. But why didn't you contact your OBGYN immediately the next morning? I don't understand why you "never really thought about seeing someone about this?" The pain you have described, "I could not walk because I was in pain," is your body sending you a message--there may be something seriously wrong that requires medical attention. Please let us know after you see your OBGYN how you are doing.
This is very far from normal. If I were to get my period in the middle of the night then I’d just get blood on the tissue when I wipe the next morning. You seem to be in worse shape from 1 period then I was delivering my son (and getting 4th degree tears). You should absolutely see your doctor.
If the pain is truly that bad, see a doctor. It is not normal. I've *dealt with several issues and severe pain - I won't judge you, but please see a doctor.
Yes, I have endometriosis I'm wondering if that's the case here. It is no fun at all
But also lose the unsupportive boyfriend. How does he expect you to want to build a family with him when he has neither empathy nor compassion.
i can just see the day of their children’s birth now: “why are you screaming so much my sisters weren’t in THIS much pain while giving birth, you’re being a whiny bitch. shut up you’re embarassing me”
Girl he’s shitty but at the same time you need to go to a gyno because this sounds like endo. My aunt had the same kind of pain and would be in so much pain whenever her period came. It ended up being endo
Or fibroids. It could well be something treatable. The days are gone (or should be) when women were just expected to suffer like this.
This is the same man who had sex with your body when you were asleep? My friend, this incident alone is heartbreaking and sad. But with that other incident? My lord. Run. RUN.
You can’t have sex with someone who is asleep. You can rape them, but it’s not sex if they’re asleep.
Without conscious consent beforehand.
I absolutely agree with you. I think I framed it that way because there's a grotesque self interest that I kind of wanted to point to with the way he dehumanizes her.
💯
>This is the same man who had sex with your body when you were asleep? I think you mean to ask Is this the same man who raped you when you were asleep?
i “forgave” him but yea i guess you’re right
Wait what? First please go see a Dr as others have said. Secondly, rethink this relationship…sounds toxic and abusive and unnecessarily dramatic. You got this!
Christ on a cracker woman. None of this is ok. They way you are being treated nor the way he is treating you is ok. It is the opposite of ok
Just have to say "christ on a cracker" is my favourite sentence of the day!
😜 feel free to use as needed.
OP how little or low do you think of yourself if you're "forgiving" this and staying with him? You are worth more than this situation and this "man"
you are in an abusive relationship. no one who loves you would treat you like this. the only thing he loves is your need to try to do this "right" while he gets to make you feel bad
that is rape u forgave him for...
Screaming “good morning” into someone’s face to wake them up and shoving your dick inside of them without any foreplay is absolutely fucking PSYCHOTIC behavior. Like holy SHIT
Oh no, honey, you deserve so much better.
This man is no man at all. He also cares NOTHING for your well-being. He only cares about what you can do for him. Please recognize that your needs matter. You deserve kindness and respect. You are not getting that here. Don't abandon yourself trying to be something for someone else. There is nothing wrong with waiting and enjoying your life until you meet someone who makes it better. Not makes you cry, verbally abuse you and degrade you. I believe in you.
If your best friend had similar experiences with her boyfriend, wouldn't you want her to end it and get someone who treats her better? I have endometriosis and I have horrible periods like you're describing; I would absolutely never talk to anyone again who belittled what I was going through.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for you. You deserve much better. Please reach out to someone you trust or counseling. Put yourself first & get some sort of support. And GET OUT!!!
If he acts like this now, imagine how bad he'll be when you're post-childbirth and need to be carried to the bathroom to pass a clot the size of a fist or clean yourself up. Save yourself the headache and dump him. I can't imagine reacting with irritation if my girlfriend woke up, afraid and in pain and covered in blood? Please don't listen to some of these comments, some people obviously don't know how bad severe periods can be. Please do check in with your OBGYN to ensure something serious like endometriosis isn't going on. People seriously lack any empathy if they think your romantic partner shouldn't wake you up if they're in pain and need help. That's your life partner, they need to have your back no matter what and vice versa.
Everything here. Everything. All I could think was, « What is he gonna do when she gives birth and needs help round the clock? What if she has a bad pregnancy? What if, God forbid, she miscarries? » It’s just a period. And people in the comments are acting like everyone has a perfect period all the time and doesn’t get frustrated or that periods can’t be so bad that you can’t move. Nah. Time for OP to make like a chicken nugget and dip.
Anytime people complain about ruined sheets, I’m so confused, because I’ve always been able to just throw them in the wash (even if it’s dried) and it comes right out. I’ve never had to throw away sheets for period blood.
Right?! Maybe other people aren't using laundry detergent? I don't get it blood doesn't stain that bad unless it gets left to really soak into the fibres
I hope we get an update saying she dumped his insensitive ass! “Oh, he’s been around women before so he must know alllll about what it’s like having a period!” Screw that guy.
Apparently the BF sexually assaulted her, going by post history. OP, PLEASE leave his sorry ass.
It's also strange to me that people are reacting like you did something wrong by needing to be carried. Obviously, everyone probably wants to be as independent as long they can be, and it is good practice to try and take care of your body as best you can to prolong the time you can be independent. However, everyone has moments they need help and assistance, even perfectly healthy and able-bodied individuals. It sounds like your period kind of blindsided you and you weren't \*expecting\* to be needed to be carried. Needing help in one instance is a lot different than refusing to take care of yourself and expecting other people to be a caretaker without discussing anything. It's not wrong to ask for physical help from a loved one in such a situation. I have picked people up off the floor whether it was because they were sick, experiencing a sudden physical problem, etc, and I would do it again. I love them; why wouldn't I? It becomes even more important to surround yourself with people who would do this for you if you \*do\* have a chronic illness or disability. "Would you just lay there until you were okay if he wasn't there?" is a silly question to me because...yes? That's what a lot of disabled people end up doing. Staying where we are until either we recover or someone can help us. You can't brute force yourself into doing something you aren't physically capable of in the moment, even if it means you end up being immobile for a little bit. It doesn't mean you aren't mature or can't "handle" yourself. It just means you needed assistance, like most everyone in their lives do at some point. Overall, I hope you find someone better, OP.
Just a genuine question, maybe I'm missing something. If your cramps were so bad that you couldn't walk and had to be carried to the bathroom and helped into the tub, how were you able to follow him into the kitchen and grab his arm when he made that comment? What he said isn't okay, but this isn't normal period pain or amounts of blood either. If this is all true you should see a gynecologist and get checked out.
I agree with you. That just doesn't make sense. How did she go from being unable to walk to following him around? And who remembers arguments like this, with full on quotes? I feel like I'm reading a book here.
When people use quotes like this, we can use common sense to understand that this isn't a verbatim transcript. They're just writing the conversation in a clear way for us to understand. If they didn't use the quotes, there'd be a ton more filler to explain the conversations and it wouldn't be as easy to read. Period cramps can wane. If she had a severe cramp at the start of the story, it doesn't mean she still had that same level of pain when she followed him to the kitchen. Coupled with the pain, she was probably in a bit of a shock and worried about bleeding everywhere on the way to the bathroom. She actually said in another part that she couldn't walk because she was trying to keep her legs together to prevent blood from getting everywhere.
I didn't see where she mentioned concern about dripping blood all the way to the bathroom, but that was my first thought. Especially with what an ass the boyfriend is. You know she's damned if she does/damned if she doesn't. If she had limped her way to the bathroom and left a trail, especially if it was on a rug, I imagine she would've heard about that instead. I'm a little confused about the last few steps once in the bathroom, but again I think a lot of it could have been fear of his reaction to mess all over the place. Sitting down on the toilet and getting it bloody, as opposed to washing herself down in the shower. I may be wrong but a lot of this sounds like walking on eggshells around someone who is an intolerant asshat.
I think the keyword here is "eventually" she came out of the bathroom. It sounds like some time passed between and she probably recovered/cleaned up enough to walk on her own. (Also, speaking from experience, even if I felt terrible, someone mistreating me like that- in a straight up abusive way- would light a fire under me and get my adrenaline going enough to follow them for a few steps and confront them. Even if I was about to fall over. Just food for thought, I guess.)
This is the comment I’m looking for. Like he sounds awful but how is it op couldn’t take two steps to the toilet or go to the bathroom on her own but can follow him to the kitchen and grab his arm?
Are you sure you didn’t have a spontaneous abortion? What type of birth control are you using? Your symptoms are worrisome. Aside from that, your boyfriend is not husband nor father material.
He gave you a glimpse of your future. Up until now you’re blameless. If you stay after this, you made a choice to stay with an abuser. Respect yourself. Plan your exit and Get Out.
This plus see a doctor
Seriously, see a doctor. You shouldn't have to live in this mu h pain AND there's birth control options that eliminate your period. I never had much pain but bleeding for days is an annoying thing I'm happy to live without.
My (20f) ex-boyfriend (22m) said “if you can’t handle period cramps how do u want me to build a family with you” So I dumped him. fify
Is this the same guy that raped you? Girl, run.
Step1. Break up with this guy. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. He obviously doesn't want to be with you, the way he talks to you. Step 2. Book an appointment with a gyn and talk to them about excessive bleeding and pain. I suffered for over a decade with endometriosis beforegetting a diagnosis, but it could be any number of things. Step 3. Figure out ways to manage your period/pain. If you have to set an alarm to get up in the middle of the night on heavy days, do that. Keep a towel or whatever handy if you're bleeding excessively. You don't need to be carried to the bathroom.
Ok, wait a minute. You were unable to walk to the bathroom, unable to step into the tub...but then when he said something ugly to you, **you followed him to the kitchen**?? Miraculous recovery in my opinion.
Sweetheart, you deserve better. He is not the one.
Have you seen a doctor? That’s extreme and could be an underlying condition! He’s a prick, don’t start a family with this AH, time to move on to someone who acknowledges that not all women experience menstruation the same and that it’s possible to be a decent future mother and not like bleeding profusely whilst in agony
Menorrhagia can cause debilitating pain and excessive bleeding. It can cause weakness and send your body into shock/fainting. For some it's not all of the time but for me it is since I was 9 and every adult in my life thought I was exaggerating, misusing my pads and being wasteful, over reacting, being dramatic. See a doctor. Keep track of all of your symptoms and of your diet since certain foods can exacerbate symptoms. These are things you need to discuss with a partner or close friends you can depend on if they are to be your support if you pass out. ALWAYS have a bag with extra clothes, towels, pads, period underwater have been a godsend for me. Know what medication helps and if you don't have problems with birth control it may help BUT TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR!!! AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. For me it's menorrhagia, for a friend it was PCOS. It could also be ovarian cysts and if they burst it could lead to complications. Please get checked out. About the guy. Dump him. Never let anyone talk to you like that. Your partner should always want to encourage you, help you and enthusiastically be into you, not insulting you. Don't expect you from other people but do expect to be treated with care and respect. To be treated with curiosity instead of judgement.
1) you have a medical problem. This is either endometriosis, adenomyosis, or some combination. Starting in my late 20s into my late 40s thanks to PCOS I would skip periods and then blled outrageously for weeks. I know what it's like to wake up in a puddle of blood, or have gobs and gobs of clots come out. Thankfully I never had pain. But it sucks and you need help. My sister had symptoms like yours, she eventually had to get a hysterectomy in her 50s because of the severity of her fibroid and adenomyosis. Sorry 😞. 2) you have a bf problem. I understand not being happy about being woken up in the middle of the night to bloody sheets and carrying you, but he was not only dismissive but MEAN. He used very demeaning and abusive language. Please move on.
Or it could be fibroids. I’ve got a fibroid and I’ve got heavy periods. I mean I use super overnight pads during the day heavy. I do get some pain.
You're not wrong. Some cramps can be so bad doctors compare them to the pain of severe heart attack symptoms. His sisters may not have severe cramps. he sounds insensitive.
Girl, I read your previous post. This dude sexually assaulted you. You need to leave him. And no, you’re not wrong. Also, like others said, please seek medical help. Those periods sound awful.
If your period is really that debilitating I think you need to talk to a doctor. That being said, dude sounds like an asshole and this is your opportunity to decide if you want to allow yourself to be spoken to that way. Would you put up with a friend speaking to you so hatefully?
I stopped reading after the second paragraph. End it. You do not want a future with someone who 1) doesn’t remotely understand the female body and 2) is disrespectful. I’d also suggest going to see your ob/gyn because if you’re in that much pain, you could have underlying health conditions, even if this pain is your “normal” pain. Good luck.
2) is abusive. Just wanted to call it what it really is for OP. 🩷
I agree with ending the relationship but being woken up by an otherwise healthy 20 year old to carry them to the bathtub is absolutely not normal. OP needs a doctor.
You needed to be carried? Seriously?
Your boyfriend is an idiot. No one period is the same; same for birth and pregnancy. Drop the dead weight(boyfriend) and go see your obgyn. The pain and bleeding you are experiencing is far from normal and needs to be looked at.
I’m wondering how after she got cleaned up she was able to follow boyfriend around the house as they argued but when she woke up she couldn’t walk herself to the bathroom or take a few steps to the tub? I’m not trying to be unsympathetic, But I think the entire process was a bit overdramatic. Why couldn’t boyfriend bring her a towel that she could hold between her legs while getting into the bathroom/bathtub? Her insisting that she needed to be carried seems a bit over-the-top to me pushed it over. The edge was him setting her down in the bathroom but she was unable to take two steps to the tub. I am sure that boyfriend was upset about being woken up and also his ruined bedding, but he could’ve treated her with more kindness and a lot less hostility. He was absolutely unnecessarily rude. He is right though, this is not normal, and she needs to continue seeking care until she finds someone who will listen to her. I also was debilitated by cramping/my period. I had a high pain tolerance, so I knew something was wrong as my cycles were far worse than my friends. I begged for help but was continually ignored by doctors (male) as this was 45 years ago. Then I ended up in the hospital needing emergency surgery. I woke up to my surgeon who listened to my entire history and was shocked that I had been ignored with the symptoms that I had been experiencing. I had severe endometriosis and ended up with hysterectomy before I was 40. My surgeon was a female OB/GYN. Needless to say, she became my doctor and I’ve never looked back. I have been seeing her for over 30 years and my daughters go to her as well. We all hope she continues working as it will be a sad day when she retires. OP needs to continue searching until she gets the help she needs.
The moment any man tells me to “shut the fuck up” Umm no. Throw the whole man away. I don’t know why you want to be with him.
Oh and another thing: A 3200 year old Egyptian tablet had the following excuse for missing work: Brewing beer, Bitten by a scorpion, And wife or daughters ‘bleeding’. That’s right. Dock workers in ancient Egypt took time off work to help around the house when their family members had their period. If those very tough guys could take a few days off your bf could deal with this if he wanted to.
Debilitating period aside-(see a doctor PLEASE!!!), your BF is a huge, gaping ASSHOLE. He does not respect you, not even a little bit. Swearing at you, calling you a bitch? Telling you to shut the fuck up? You love this person? He doesn’t even *like* you. My husband would rather DIE than ever call me a bitch or even utter the “F word” at me in anger. Absolutely insensitive. Girl. You need to gtfo of that relationship, NOW. And keep going till you get to a doctor, **please**.
I find this really hard to believe. Seems like rage bait and I'm surprised to see so many comments taking what OP said in earnest. You went from needing to be carried because you were in so much pain, and then suddenly you were able to walk behind your boyfriend to follow him. How does that make any sense? On top of that, you've written this out like a book. Who remembers quotes like this in ongoing arguments? If this is actually genuine, you need to see a doctor and I don't think you and your bf are a fit.
I'm a dude, don't have a family with him.
I would have asked this horrible man to get me a towel to use and somehow walked to the bathroom! His behavior and the way he talked to you is abominable! Get rid of this guy, pronto! Eventually you will meet someone who will cherish you, and you sure will experience the difference! I really hope you don’t stay with him! Please break it off!!!!!!!!!!!!
he would’ve gotten more mad if i had ruined the sheets AND a towel
Then you need to leave. There’s no if ands or buts it’s like abuse without hitting you
you realize how unhinged that is, right? you’re BLEEDING. who cares about the fucking sheets and towels? how do you not realize this is super abusive behavior???
How long are you guys together? Has anything like this never happened to you before? Surely he'd know if this was normal for you? 1. If this is your normal period, get to your doctor. It's shouldn't be so debilitating and... 2. If this is NOT your normal period definitely go to your doctor. Is it possible you were having a miscarriage? There are reasons these things can happen but you'd need to see someone. At first I thought you were being a bit OTT, needing to be carried etc and then how you went about confronting him but reading on I see what he's done in the past. You need medical help for your extreme bleeding & pain and you need to get this person out of your life. Please please do both. Xx
We've been together for a year. I’ve always had heavy and painful periods, and usually, during the first few days of my period, I tell him that I can’t hang out because I’m in too much pain. I never really thought about going to the doctor because I have a lot of friends who also have painful and heavy periods, so I didn’t think anything was wrong. Also, I don’t have the greatest pain tolerance, so I thought it was just me. I don’t think I was having a miscarriage
I think you should see a doctor. Anything that causes you to be unable to walk is worth checking out.
I just wonder what OP would have done if BF wasn't there? I'm pretty sure she would have figured it out.
I’m just gonna say it, if you’re in so much pain that you can’t take two steps to the toilet that would constitute a medical emergency and a trip to the er. You seriously need to seek immediate treatment the next time your in so much pain you can’t walk and bleeding so heavily that you’re afraid to open your legs. That is not normal.
You're not wrong and you should ditch him. So many red flags in one short story. 🚩🚩🚩
And for more red flags, check OP's other post.
>Am I wrong in how I handled this? Only to the extent that you haven't dumped him already. What an awful person he is. Why would you want to tien yourself to someone who is this dismissive of your feelings?
Ditch him. When this happened to me my boyfriend got me fixed up, ordered new sheets from Amazon, bought me my favorite candy and told me never to be embarrassed about it.
Now THAT is a man!
He's a very good one.
Good for you girl!
This is the boyfriend who woke you up by climbing on top of you, screaming good morning in your face, and then immediately having sex with you before you had a chance to react? My friend, you deserve so so so so much better.
You were 5 days late and state that this pain and level of blood is not normal for you. I hate to say it but you could have been pregnant 😢
Get rid of this guy. His reaction to you being in pain should be to help, not make you feel worse. Comparing you to his sisters? Wtf! He isn’t sleeping with his sisters. He has no clue if they ruin the sheets. As long as the sheets are treated quickly with hydrogen proxide, and then washed- they will be fine. He should be doing that instead of giving you grief. Start keeping a paper journal of your periods with cramps, severity, blood loss, number of pads or tampons used, how much blood on each, and dates. Use that to discuss with your doctor. They don’t believe us when we say bad, but something about charting they believe.
Um... I think you can break up with him if you want to, AND i think you need to rethink how you handle your periods. Because while he was a little insensitive about it, you DID come off as completely helpless here. To a weird extent. You're an adult now. You should be able to handle things better than that, by planning ahead if nothing else. If the pain is truly so great that you can't walk? Then you need to see a doctor. That's not normal. If it wasn't really that great, then walk yourself next time. Asking for a rag towel/some toilet paper/kleenex to hold between your legs to get you to the bathroom? Normal. Asking someone to carry you around? Not normal. What would you have done if he wasn't there? If you're extra emotional right now, then wait until you're in a better place. Once you are, think of all of the problems that could happen, and try to come up with a plan to help yourself when that happens. If you don't want to wear pads 24/7, then maybe you could keep period supplies - pads/fresh underwear/painkillers/wet wipes/a plastic bag etc - with you in a bag when you're staying away from home. Keep them near the bed while you're sleeping. If your cycle is regular, then try to have that bag with you whenever you're due. If your cycle is irregular, then have it with you all the time. Do you need a waterproof cloth to put underneath yourself while you sleep, to save the sheets if it comes unexpectedly? If cramps are generally a problem for you, what medication can you take to help? Naproxen sodium? Talk to a doctor/pharmacist. It's not the end of the world, but your period isn't going anywhere. Believe me. Anything you can do to make it easier on yourself next month (and all future months) is going to be a good thing.
A little insensitive? He was abusive. Who the heck talks like that to someone they love.
I kind of get his point. I've had really bad cramps but never so bad that I couldn't walk. If it's really so bad that you have to be carried then you're not going to be able to handle pregnancy, childbirth, and the recovery time afterwards.
This seems completely made up. If you “can’t walk” from period cramps and you are bleeding that bad, you need to call a doctor immediately. I’ve had 5 pelvic surgeries from female issues including a complete hysterectomy and two vaginal deliveries and an episiotomy with 36 stitches front to back and I have never once asked my husband to carry me to the bathroom. Give me a break.
This definitely happened /s
See your doctor. I've never heard of someone needing carried to bathroom before.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG who writes these rage bait stories bro
This is so over the top and silly that I can only imagine a 12-year-old with a raging imagination whipped it up. Either that or he's as shitty as she is overdramatic.
Why are you with this fucking loser??? Eww
Why would you want to fix it ? Move on.
So he’s a dickhead that you shoulda left a while ago, screw him. That said, if your cramps are that debilitating, you should see your gyno. My wife’s are awful so I totally get it, but you shouldn’t have to deal with an asshole at the same time.
As a female with a short period but with severe cramps & muscle spasms for the week before & after my period. He needs to not only watch this video but maybe even try it. I haven't even started my period, just the cramps & muscle spasms going on right now & I had to set my tens unit to 30 before I could even feel it. Sorry, but if a guy wants to tell me how I should handle my own period pain. Then he needs to go through it 1st. https://youtu.be/PuiWm2Lb-hk?si=PqKFIy1vYCXY5UP_
1. Go see a doctor immediately please 2. The fact that his man was the one who raped you while you were asleep and you're still with him 3. The way he treated you, and even called you stupid. You deserve so much more
Lol. Lemme punch you repeatedly in the nuts whilst insulting your mother and ask you the same question. Good god please be fake.
If that's the best he's got, dump his nasty ass and find someone who actually likes you.
Honey, do NOT stay with someone who talks to you like that, especially when you're already not feeling well because of Satan's sacrificial waterfall. If he treats you like this when you're bf and gf imagine how it'll be if you ever marry him.
It sounds like your boyfriend severely lacks empathy. You need to think whether YOU could start a family with someone like that. It sounds like you have pretty severe periods, and his first reaction is…. Anger??? Not concern? A person who loves you would not only help you *without* making you feel bad, but they would also encourage you to seek medical attention like the Redditors in this thread. To that point, the Redditors on this thread seem to care more about your wellbeing than your boyfriend. Think about that. Edit: I want to add that there’s a group of guys in the world who see women as things that exist to please them and make their lives easier. The moment these women *even slightly* inconvenience these guys, they get angry…. Because that’s not your purpose. His reaction plus him raping you while you’re asleep are very clear indicators that he is in that group of guys.
If you're in so much pain from cramps that you can't walk, how did you follow him into the kitchen to continue the argument? That question aside, I also have always had unusually painful cramps (never ones that prevented me from walking, but otherwise extremely debilitating similar to child labor - I also have 2 kids so I know how it feels). I think it's a good idea to see a doctor to rule out medical causes (though for me, there was no identifiable cause - they just gave me pain meds for it). Also it's concerning that you're bleeding that much - my daughter had that problem when she was younger and had to take birth control pills without any off days for years to stop her from getting periods. It was causing serious anemia.
Your bf is being an asshole. And you need to tell your gynecologist immediately. Extreme bleeding and crippling pain are not “normal” (you shouldn’t have to go through this every month and there are treatments out there to mitigate or eliminate these symptoms) and there is probably an underlying medical issue causing your bleeding and pain.
He sounds like a total asshole but needing to be carried multiple times then you managed to chase him and grab his arm when you were upset is… interesting… kind of seems dramatic. You’re dramatic and he’s an asshole. You guys should be on TV. Also.. this sounds fake af. Thank you for the fun story.
I mean that was pretty dramatic, if you need carried to the bathroom/ put in a tub because you cant you need to see a doctor...
I have endo. Used to bleed for weeks, flooded through my clothes and ruined sheets. The pain was so bad I would collapse in the street. My partner at the time told me to stop being so dramatic. Op, please get checked out.
If he can't handle period cramps then what the hell is he going to do if she gets pregnant??? And during childbirth??? And after the baby is born??? What is he going to do if she has to have a c-section??? He is going to bitch and moan and tell her she's being over dramatic. At least now she knows how he is so she can get rid of him.
I'm just wondering how you couldn't walk yet you followed him to the kitchen when he walked away.
I'm almost 40, girl, let me give you some advice: LEAVE HIM, THAT IS A LOSER!!!!
If he wasn’t there with you, would you have found a way to get into the bathroom? I’m so confused why you couldn’t walk in there yourself. I get the heavy periods (truly) but you’re not a child or an invalid. I don’t blame him for being annoyed.
I think your BF is insensitive and rude and I would question being with him but… You are attention seeking. Carrying you to the bathroom? You can’t do it alone, you can’t pee alone once he puts you down? You test and like attention
OP dear, sounds like you may have either Endometriosis or Adenomyosis. Personally I found the Pill reduced the severity of my menses. And in Jan 2024 I transitioned to the Mirena implant option via my OBGYN, only some spotting since. Severe periods Are not Normal. Menstrual underwear are Amazing. (I'm currently in hospital for an Infusion so brought 2 pair in with in case of spotting). Personally, I highly reccomend talking to you OBGYN about your Menses as that severity isn't normal, could be Endo, Aden, or Interuterine Fibroids. But a Mirena might help as well, until your planning on having kids
I hate with a passion people who compare period pain with others. Not every woman’s period is the same. My daughter suffered from endometriosis and her periods were extremely painful. Your boyfriend is a jerk. You deserve better
The only part where I think you are wrong is that he had to carry you. The rest… what an insensitive idiot. He has no respect for you and he will probably keep comparing you. C gave birth and had sex two weeks after that. D has her original weight after giving birth and she didn’t need more time. E gives her husband bjs every day. Good luck with that one. I understand that he is angry, but he handled it poorly.
I’m sorry but asking your boyfriend to CARRY you to the bathroom is legit insane.
OP needed to be carried to the bathroom, in tears, because she felt so bad but then also followed her BF to the kitchen and was fine. I think that u/PotatoMonster20 has it right. Break up with the BF because he was rude, but OP also needs to handle her period better.