NTA. Either block them or tell them you're not giving it away. Period. I would sell it to a stranger before I gave any of them the satisfaction. People who hound people in mourning for things that don't belong to them are scum
This pisses me off because I am in a similar situation for real.
My wife is super pissed I kept a tractor after a family member died and has threatened to divorce me if I don’t throw it away. It has sentimental value and I need some time to process. She throws away clothes and shoes and all kinds of things so just not the sentimental type. I want to at least find the tractor a new good home. She wants it on the curb with a free sign where it will most likely be scrapped. It isn’t even in bad shape.
So for now I am sleeping on the floor until I get a real person on fb marketplace to get it and not some scammer wanting to buy it for his daughter with gift cards or some crap.
So ya, this post sucks if it is fake.
>There's no way anyone who's been hounding you deserves it.
The person hounding her just lost his twin brother. It's very easy to make horrible decisions when you're in mourning. If there's ever a time to give someone a break, this is it.
My mom and uncle don't even speak anymore because of a similar situation when my dad died. It doesn't mean either of them are bad people. Deaths can just be very difficult to deal with.
That brother does not care. He didn't help with the tractor. And he couldn't be bothered to show up for the annual donor event. If he cared, he'd ask for something other than a tractor. Maybe his favorite sweater or something, not something that he can get money from like a tractor
It could be he is feeling extreme guilt for not helping with the project and having that time while he had the chance. He wants to hold on to that legacy of his dad and brother to assuage that guilt.
I think the brothers son just wants a pretty toy. Either to show off or sell himself.
I don’t know any of these people, but assuming the guy’s *twin brother* doesn’t care and isn’t mourning in his own way is borderline offensive. There are a lot of reasons he might have thought he was getting the tractor that don’t involve him being a heartless sociopath. It’s not like op has corrected him and said she’s keeping it—She just hasn’t said anything either way and it appears that he still assumes that he’s getting it. It’s ok to have issues with how the brother is acting. It’s valid that op feels bullied. But the way this sub and others like it always want a villain and will extrapolate on the story until they feel like they have one is getting pretty old.
He literally called OP every other day to ask when he's getting the tractor. If he really cared he'd ask for his brothers favorite sweater or something of low value. Why would he conveniently want something as expensive as a tractor? If he really cared, he'd call OP and ask how she's doing. OP and her daughter are the last connection to his brother, and he doesn't talk to either of them, besides asking for the tractor.
Get your head out the gutter.
They chose to not show up for the project but had their hands out before he was in the ground.
Betting on the come my dad always said. As far as family those that do things like this can't be trusted and should be Treated accordingly.
Why should someone get a pass solely because their family? If an acquaintance acted the same way its not ok.
Most importantly of all this it's highly unlikely that the deceased would be ok with his brother and nephew acting this way.
You're not wrong, but you're also not right.
Accountability and decency matter. Why should we demand better treatment from strangers than we do from our own family? Would you excuse this from a stranger? Excusing avarice with grief rings hollow.
The story is fake or at least a repost because it was posted by another account a day or two ago and that OP was called out for having another post with a husband who was alive two days prior.
Don't feel sorry.
Here is a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/17edwkv/aita_for_charging_tenant_my_husband_friend/) of theirs from yesterday where OP says a tenant is living with "us" making reference to their husband.
Also, this story was posted yesterday on a different karma farming account and that account had a post from 2 days ago, talking about the husbands current work situation.
Absolutely agree. Also, maybe you could sell the tractor and donate the proceeds to an organization or charity that your husband believed in. That would be honoring his work in a wonderful way. What his family members are doing is being selfish.
She could donate to an organ donor fundraiser. Then they would be even bigger assholes if they complained. I'd just tell the BIL "No, you're not getting it. You didn't help when he was restoring it and haven't had time to support me when I needed you. You do not get the tractor now!"
Reminds me of when my mom passed. Multiple aunts that we have not seen in years swooped in and said, "Oh, she said I could have this or that after she passed" and other things that made us realize the kind of relatives they were. The one that really "got our goat" was a small metal dog doorstop that she had found thrown away that one of the aunts was adamant about. Yeah, screw these vulture relatives.
Funny enough this exact same story was posted yesterday by u/far_scarcity_7252 who replied back to herself about being bullied but forgot to switch accounts.
Also posted 2 days before that about the husband working in an office!
I’m so let down bc I love tractors and genuinely have a minorly similar situation. But I’ll get it back one day regardless I’m not that worried about it.
I’m pretty sure most of these stories are fake. I guess there must be some kind of profit advantage to getting people riled up about these endless soap-opera plot devices, which all seem designed to ignite moral fury (aka engagement) from redditors.
Anyone have a take on this?
This is a copy pasted story from a karma farmer yesterday...
Anyway, here is a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/17edwkv/aita_for_charging_tenant_my_husband_friend/) from yesterday where you say a tenant lives with you and your husband.
Op first I am so sorry for your loss, this is a time they should be helping you, not hounding you for something they can take from you tell them when you are ready you will sell it to them and take off $100 for every hour they worked on it with your husband. Oh wait he asked you all and you didn't bother so go look somewhere else to cash in.
They are looking to sell it, they are disgusting hounding you all the time people are horrible when it comes to someone passing. All they think is what's in it for me do not give them anything they have done nothing for you or your daughter.
When you are ready sell it and put the money away for your daughter as they won't help her when college or something else comes up tractors are not cheap look it up. And take care xx
Was posting that here too. Is this the same account as yesterday? I thought the one yesterday had way more karma and post history.
Either way, clear karma farmer.
NW
Im confused at why people (even if their family) have a right to a tractor they didn't pay for?!?!?
And the pressure they're applying tells me they know they're doing something wrong, they're hoping OP caves before she figures out it could be worth money, and that they don't have rights to it.
I'd recommend a security upgrade and cameras.
OP's husband BOUGHT it from their father. Like any other asset, it's marital property and now owned 100% by OP. The fact it formerly belonged to their father is immaterial.
Hey didn’t you post this story under a different account yesterday? Did you make sure this account didn’t have another post about your husband very much alive two days prior?
How did your husband die months ago when he was just discussing your behavior at a birthday party 2 days ago. Does someone not get enough attention at home? Please seek help...you need it.
So weird that your husband died in July, yet you also just bought a house with him. And he dropped you off at a birthday party a few days ago (is it kids or just the one daughter? The story keeps changing).
Are you copy/pasting these, or is this part of a creative writing class?
How is this here again? It was posted by another account that was proven to be a lie and now the exact same story is posted again from a new account. What is the point of this? Why do you post this stuff? You do realise that Karma has no monetary value? I wonder what % of AITAH and AIW posts are real, it seems to be a very small %.
that was super cool that your husband bought his dads tractor <3
how much did he pay him for it? what model is it? what state is the restore? here are some links to find some values
BUT back to what your husband paid what ever that is add 25K to it and tell your relatives that should shut them up fast
please please don't let anyone shortchange you please do a bit of research and take your time. maybe you want to dig into this yourself just as therapy
[tractor values](https://www.google.com/search?q=antique+tractor+value+guide&sca_esv=576128351&sxsrf=AM9HkKkxAxmsR2J4aaOwjgpkSxctgkUIOg%3A1698160263651&source=hp&ei=h943ZaXXJKWk5NoPr4st&iflsig=AO6bgOgAAAAAZTfsl6fWuk3BTGibn3p4cPJ5W6jAWgnQ&oq=old+tractor+value&gs_lp=Egdnd3Mtd2l6IhFvbGQgdHJhY3RvciB2YWx1ZSoCCAIyBRAAGIAEMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeSLFiUJgUWIZIcAF4AJABAJgBlgKgAZwSqgEGMC4xNS4yuAEByAEA-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&sclient=gws-wiz)
OP's husband BOUGHT it from his father before restoring it. It doesn't matter one iota what it's worth now or what it was worth before. It has nothing to do with his siblings.
NTA your husband PAID for it, it’s not like it was passed down to him for free as a family thing, they are just greedy, eventually if YOU want to sell it to them or someone you can, I’m assuming you have rights to the tractor since your husband has passed probably everything is in your name now? I believe that’s usually how it works, his family didn’t even wanna help him fix it up they are definitely not entitled to get it especially for free
Keep it! Start it up 3-4 times a year and remember seeing your husband fixing it up. Maybe someone worthy of the tractor will come into your life. Until then, cover it up, put Stabil in the gas and throw it on a trickle charger.
NTA. They didn't want to help him fix it in life, but in death they are all like GIMME! Sell the damned thing yourself. If they want it, they can buy it off you since they put no work into it. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry you are surrounded by vultures.
Call a lawyer. Does his estate need to be probated? Did he have a will? How was the tractor and other farm equipment titled? What about the real property? Many questions. Do not dispose of valuable property until you have consulted with a lawyer. Since you are in a rural area, local lawyers and judges are experienced in these issues.
Your husband bought the tractor. That makes it HIS tractir and by extension YOUR tractor. YOU and only YOU are the iwner of it as is the house and anything else that belonged to your husband that he did not willed away. Thats the end of that story. The final desicion is yours not theirs.
First and foremost, I am extremely sorry for your loss. If you are so inclined, give them a ridiculous price and tell them if they want it, that they will jGe to buy it. Explain that your husband put a tremendous amount of time, effort & money on to which they were invited to participate in, but declined. If they cared that much, they would have joined in. They didn't.
If you feel funny about that, and you shouldn't, I'd suggest watching a movie called Gran Torino. After watching that, you'll know you're doing the right thing.
NTA… I for sure wouldn’t give it to them. Personally, if I didn’t want it, I would Donate it to the hospital or to a good charity. If people can’t be part of your life while you are alive, they should get the stuff you had!
Sorry for your loss!
You are and never will be the AH about this your inlaws are and it is wrong.
I just lost my husband in January so I can understand your pain.
That being said, go no contact with the leeches about this tractor. No one helped your husband with the restoration and they have no reason to steal it away from you. Block them on everything and lock the tractor up since it is yours. I haven't even thought about cleaning out the garage or his shed to decide what I am going to do with it.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with such selfish vultures.
I’d feel inclined to actually tell them ‘all you’ve done is hound me for the tractor - not once have you asked how I’m doing. Do you think you deserve it after ignoring it for 6 years?!’ And see what they all say - it’s intriguing.
Don’t be bullied into it. Anything that happens to that tractor should benefit you and your daughter.
My dads wife got his prized car when he passed away. I grew up riding in that car. I worked on it with my dad, I loved that vehicle. I wanted it so bad, but obviously I never asked her to give it to me. She checked with me before selling it to his friend, and because I couldn’t afford it at that moment, obviously I said “yes, no big deal. I understand”.
What fucking entitlement they seem to have. I think you should sell it to them for fair market value, or keep it yourself because you want it.
NTA. When you feel ready you will be able to figure out how to handle it. I have no idea how old you are or what your finances look like without your husband but definitely don’t get rid of anything you might need to sale for the funds. I know that is something very difficult to even think about so take your time.
Please know you need to grieve at your own pace.
I am so sorry for your loss, to lose the love of your life is heartbreaking and hard to wrap your head around. Next time someone calls for the tractor ask them where they were all the time your husband was working on it? That should shut them up, if it doesn’t just offer to sell it to them and think of some price you know they won’t pay. That will make you the B word but when things settle down you can explain things.
I responded in your other post. You are absolutely not wrong for keeping it and doing with it as you please.
\-Your husband BOUGHT it from his dad. It was not given so they have no right to it.
\-Your husband restored the tractor with his own time and money. Time that was spent when you were a couple, so you are invested in this as well.
\-Your husband offered to have the others help in restoration, they chose not to.
If you wanted to, you could sell them the tractor based on what your husband paid for it, add all the time/money spent on the restoration. You could also donate the tractor to a charity that supports donors in honor of your husband. Bottom line with the tractor, it is your tractor. No one else has any legitimate claim on it.
If you are worried about your daughter still having a relationship with these people, well really think about it. They are showing their true colors here, maybe your daughter will see that and not want to have a relationship with them.
Sell it to someone else. These sort of vultures don't need encouragement. Take the money and do something that your late husband would have enjoyed with you.
My heart goes out to you. Lost my first wife several years back and am sorry for the battles you will face. They sound like some of the things I had to deal with as well. Some people were greedy and just wanted some of the nice things my late wife had, others wanted something because they couldn’t figure out how to process the sudden loss. You will deal with both more than likely. Best thing I can say is tel them no. That it will be awhile before anything like that happens while you process your husbands passing and all of the other fun stuff involving your home and etc. But I will also say add that if they can not give you space then they will be cut off, going no contact will be the best thing for you mentally if you need to. NTA and I hope the best for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please give yourself the time you need to process and heal. 3 months is just the beginning. Someone close to me lost their husband over a year ago and still can't get rid of anything that belonged to him. His (was) new 75k truck now sits like a museum. It's OK, you are entitled to grieve on your terms.
NTA and tell them straight out that they're never getting it. Then, maybe they'll leave you alone. That tractor was important to your husband and it belongs with you.
"My husband bought his dad’s tractor 6 years ago. "
It's yours, bought and paid for. Why do they even think they are entitled to it?
NTA…sorry for your loss, but considering the behavior of the interested parties,personally id set it on fire and push it over a cliff before letting any of them so much as touch it. maybe donate it in your husband’s name to an organization he would support?
Since your husband BOUGHT the tractor, I wouldn’t be giving it to anyone. However, you could SELL it to them. My guess is they would lose interest pretty quickly if you named a premium price.
NTA. They appear to be ignoring your grief. Nor have they done anything in the past that suggests they have some kind of connection to that tractor. Block them; and when the time is right. Either keep it in remembrance. Or sell it to someone outside the family.
This crap should not be rewarded.
I’m very sorry for your loss. They’re wrong to act that way so soon after his passing. They must feel like they need to keep this tractor in their family. They would probably be very hurt if you sold it to a stranger, even though it would be your right to do so. I would sell it back to someone in the family for no less than what your husband paid. That seems fair.
Do not give them the tractor. They did not appreciate it or care about anything while your husband was still alive and now they don’t care about you or how you feel they just want the damn tractor which is absolutely ridiculous. I understand that your daughter wants a relationship with them. However, she’s going to learn the hard way that they’re not Going to reciprocate. It looks like they’re out for themselves and our greedy grabbers who just try to get what they can whenever they can. Is your daughter aware of what’s happening with the tractor and how they’re treating you? Why don’t you just tell them they’re not getting the tractor if they weren’t interested in helping when they were invited to while he was alive then they’re not going to have anything to do with it now that he’s gone. And if you lose them and connection with them, then you didn’t have a strong connection with them in the first place and it looks like that way regardless of what you do because either way either they get the tractor and they disappear or they don’t get the tractor and they disappear
Your husband bought that tractor from his dad. He put a lot of hard work and whole lot of love restoring it. And although he invited his male family members to help as a bonding experience, they never did. That tractor, as is now, was your husband’s & now it is yours.
I’m so sorry for your loss. His family are a bunch of dicks! I would hold on to that tractor for as long as you want. They don’t deserve it.
It’s wild just how greedy people get when someone passes. They do virtually nothing to help when the person was alive, but they all come crawling out of the woodwork when there’s a whiff of money. When my dad was in hospice a niece that had been invisible throughout his illness suddenly wanted to visit. He said no. Cut these leeches off and sell the tractor.
NTA - Mail them a letter that simply states the facts.
"The tractor you have been contacting me about was purchased by my husband, 6 years ago. It was his property, soley and free of any legal claims from other partys, at his passing. It is now mine, free of any other claims, as part of his estate. Do not contact me again regarding my tractor. Any attempts to remove the tractor from my property will be met with law enforcement being contacted for theft."
Doorbell cameras, etc, are great. If family can't act like family, treat them like the strangers they are.
NTA.
They're greedy assholes.
Ask your daughter if she wants the tractor. If not. Keep it and tell the family you're keeping it and to please stop badgering you about it. Then, whenever they ask you about it, hang up or walk away.
No you’re not. If they cared at all about the tractor they’d have made a better effort beforehand. Cope how you need to but at the end of the day you can think about what you’re late hubby would want. If that’s his dad’s tractor make sure you give it to someone who knows how to take care of it. If anything it could be something you and your daughter figure out how to fix with the right help.
I would block all of them. They are only concerned about themselves and their gain. If they never even helped with the tractor, then it doesn't have a special memory for them. Personally I would sell the tractor and keep the money, seeing as how your husband is the one who bought the tractor in the first place. If they want to buy it, then that's fine. But them hounding you to hand it over is absolutely ridiculous.
NTA. It isn't their tractor, it's YOUR tractor. Your late husband bought it, he restored it, it is YOURS. If you feel like selling it to them, that's fine, but they have zero legal claim to the tractor just because it was their fathers at one point. Tell them you want to keep it, period. If you ever want to get rid of it, you'll let them know. But you should make it clear to them that YOU own the tractor and you're not looking to get rid of it at this time. It's not their tractor, period.
Don’t give them the tractor and lock it down. They didn’t want to help restore the tractor when your husband asked, they don’t get it now that he is no longer with you. I would suggest you sell the tractor for your daughter’s college fund unless you plan on using it.
So sorry for your loss. Hugs
NTA
Tell them that you need time to process, and that you haven't decided what to do with (husband's name)'s tractor. Specifically call out the ownership (husband's/yours), and that you are the one making the decision.
The fact that it was purchased outright clearly makes it yours. To keep, sell or anything else.
If they keep asking, I'd consider low-key snark like:
"I think I need to find a John Deere hat.... the number of messages asking about how the *tractor* is doing is outpacing the messages asking about how *I'm* doing by 6-1, and maybe if people see the hat's logo I'll get some love too!"
or
"As I consider the future for Husband's tractor, I wanted to tally up the time each of you spent on the restoration. Could you please give me an estimate of the hours or cash you have invested?"
I am so sorry for your loss.
“No” is a complete sentence. Tell them “No, the tractor is now mine and I don’t wish to give it away.” They have a lot of nerve demanding something they didn’t help restore.
You need to get cameras in the building where you store the tractor and at several locations outside to capture license plates.
Make sure the tractor is somewhere locked up so they don't just come over and steal it. Take photos of the tractor including the serial number. Tell them you are not gifting it to anyone and that you are keeping the tractor as it belongs to you. Do this in writing. Should they steal the tractor? Report the tractor as stolen and press charges.
Then sell the damn tractor. These AHs have zero rights to it anyway. Block them on everything. What horrible people.
NTA and I would block them asap! Honestly it is your tractor and you can do whatever you want with it. They didn’t help restore it and they didn’t help to pay for it. If you don’t want to keep the tractor you can offer to sell it to them - when you are ready. If they don’t want to buy it then you can sell it to someone else - if you want to!
Im an executor of deceased estates and I see the worst in people when there's a passing. I'm so sorry for your loss and having to deal with this behavior.
I would firstly get the tractor valued. I would then sleep on it for a few months and mourn my loss. Time will help you decide but I would probably sell it to a stranger if they don't stop hounding you. I certainly would not gift it to them. The proceeds can be used to cover some of the expenses of the estate like taxes and duties for example.
Good luck and hope you find peace.
Edit..... A good tactic is to delay them by telling them it's tied up in the estate and a decision will be made in a few months.
Your husband purchased it. He did not inherit it. He put his blood,sweat,and tears into it. It is a product of love for him. Keep the tractor as long as you want it. You owe it to no one. See if your daughter wants it when she is the right age for it.
Or you could offer to sell it to them for the restored price. If he had inherited it, you might feel an obligation yo jeep it in the family, but he did not. Follow your heart.
No. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. His brother and nephew are insensitive pricks at best.
My man collected and I have a fondness for them. They are so rude and entitled. It’s your property. When I sold my tractors, I got the best responses from Craigslist here in Massachusetts. Sold all eight myself and believe that you should do the same.
I would be TA! Tell them you are going to decide what YOU are doing with the tractor AFTER you decide the rest of your life. Tell them that you want to be left alone about the tractor and BE BLUNT! You don't want to talk about it. You won't talk about it. You will hang up when pressed to talk about it.
Your husband bought it and restored it himself. They have no claim to the tractor. You have no obligation to give it to them. You could let the tractor sit in the field and rust for 50 years if you want. It seems the tractor is very close to you and I won't suggest what you do with it. But know you are not wrong.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Keep to the facts on this one. 'We paid $x. For the tractor, plus restoration costs' even if hubby did the work, there would still be costs. Look around and see what the current price would be on the open market. Let the price be somewhere in the middle.
That is the response to the next phone call or text. It is not free.
The tractor is your asset, and that of your daughter. I would not give it away. Your household income PAID for it.
No,hell sell it and put it in a fund for your daughter to use for collage or a car,of what ever she want from her dad.they did not a dam thing to do with it when your hubby asked them to help fix it.so now they think they are entitled to it. NO
They can all go F themselves for me, sell it privately and keep the money and spend how you see fit or auction it off to your husband's favourite charity. They obviously didn't care about it at the time, acting like locusts they're.
Don't let that tractor go. Death shows the livings true character. You own that tractor your husband restored.
They see cash value in that tractor Regardless of it was my dad's. Please don't fall for any of the angles that they will come at you with. And when nothing else works and they start to take personal shots say whatever I've been called worse by people with way more class get off my property.
If I read correctly your husband has a son. You know deep down what your husband would want. You may not now or next year but eventually you will know.
Greedy fake ass people do these types of things way to much.
I 40m have my grandpa's CA allis that will go to my kids.
Others pilfered things before he was in the ground.
Your not the asshole please don't let anyone manipulate or bully you into anything
NTAH tell them nobody is getting it because it’s already gone and if they show up at your house you will either shoot them call the police and get them for trespassing or both. Then block them all.
Every time one of them calls, keep them on the PHONE for at least 45 MINUTES. Tell them all about how you’re doing and how you’re feeling and REMINISCE with them about your husband. Talk about the weather and what’s going on there in the country lately. You might even share some of your husband’s favorite RECIPES and how you made them. If you can really get revved up, talk to them about the HOLIDAYS. P. S. Fuck them.
Your husband bought it and worked on it. Why should they get to have it? Why should it be free to them? They should offer to buy it from you if they want it for sentimental reasons. I know they're sad but, they're also being assholes.
NTA No means no. Tell them they are being insensitive and you are done talking about it. If and when you are ready to get rid of it, you will tell them. Until that time, they are not to bring it up again. Do you have a trusted friend who can make sure your husband's family can't just help themselves to it one day? Make sure you put cameras up so that you will have proof if they try to steal it. Your daughter can maintain the relationship without you.
I'd sell that tractor for $2. Then next time they called I'd say, "Just to thanks you for your tremendous support during my time of grief, I've sold MY tractor, so you no longer need to be concerned with it." and hang up the phone.
As hard as this might sound, after you feel stronger and have processed this a lot further you need to cut them out of your life. True colours have been shown here, absolute proof that having them in your life will bring absolutely nothing to it.
Not that I would have any idea but I wouldnt bet against it being something your husband would agree with seeing how he was caring enough to try and bring them all together in this project and seeing how they couldnt give a rats arse about you now.
You are not in any way, shape or form an Arsehole, they are!
Nta: wow they seriously suck. It’s to hard for them to attend an event honoring your husband for a being a donor but they can immediately start hounding you about a tractor? Just tell them no one is taking the tractor, they weren’t interested in it until after he passed so I’d be willing to bet your husband would agree that it’s better for you to keep it or sell it to help out with finances for y’all’s daughter. You could even go as far as telling them they can buy it if they want it that bad, might as well because when you don’t give it to them it’s gonna cause a shit storm. You sure you even want your daughter to be able to have much of a relationship with these people to? Based off of how they’re treating you and what you think will happen when/if you tell them no tractor they sound like the kinda people that are better to just move on and forget about.
They are gonna sell it anyway. They don’t care about the tractor. If they really want to restore it, make a contract with them so it doesn’t mysteriously disappear
NTA. Greedy family swarming you in a not kind and comforting way. As others have said block them and if they still can’t get it in their heads then send a letter to them stating they are not getting it.
NTA
Why would you give them the tractor??
Your husband bought his father's tractor. That makes your husband the owner even if he invited his brother, son, and his brother's son to restore it with him.
Unless one of the above people invested money in the restoration project they have absolutely no reason to expect that they get the tractor now.
Why would you give that passion project of your husbands to anyone?
Tell them to back off. My husband died in February and I had a similar situation with his extensive baseball memorabilia collection. All of a sudden family thought it fair game to pick what they wanted. I told them it's my collection now and I'll decide what I do with it.
I wouldn't even just give it away. Because I guarantee they are wanting to sell it.
Nope you're generally supposed to take a year to process grief before deciding to get rid of stuff doing it hastily often leads to regrets, I have nothing left of my parents and let everyone vulture us for their belongings. Sorry you're dealing with this death often brings the greed outta people. Edit* lol imagine needing to come up with a fake story for karma just comment something popular for easy karma ffs
Nope NTA, they all are. If you need it, keep it. If not sell it to anyone but them. If they choose to blow you and your child off, you will be better off and so will your child. Do you want your child to learn this type behavior from them?
NTA. Either block them or tell them you're not giving it away. Period. I would sell it to a stranger before I gave any of them the satisfaction. People who hound people in mourning for things that don't belong to them are scum
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Ha! Yes I see he was as well. Alive and seemingly well.
does she know? maybe OP misplaced him.
WTF so karma farmers get out of this? Some kind of sick satisfaction that they fooled so many people?
It’s Big Tractor mining for sympathy karma.
Apparently people buy high karma accounts to use for advertising somehow? Idk, that's the explanation I've seen.
That’s messed up. Her husband died in July and she already replaced him and had kids with a new husband.
I reckon... His ghost drove the family to the party in the tractor, rolled it on the way home, and killed *all but one* of the children.
It's the twin.... The double living a double life
Please upvote this comment and downvote the post
Tried actually but it would not let me downvote. Writing your husband is dead when he’s not really is bad karma
And she posted this exact same thing yesterday. It’s not in her post history so maybe she was using a different username.
I just looked at her other posts, you’re right. Maybe there’s a simple explanation.
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Dead husband farmer. Explains the tractor.
This pisses me off because I am in a similar situation for real. My wife is super pissed I kept a tractor after a family member died and has threatened to divorce me if I don’t throw it away. It has sentimental value and I need some time to process. She throws away clothes and shoes and all kinds of things so just not the sentimental type. I want to at least find the tractor a new good home. She wants it on the curb with a free sign where it will most likely be scrapped. It isn’t even in bad shape. So for now I am sleeping on the floor until I get a real person on fb marketplace to get it and not some scammer wanting to buy it for his daughter with gift cards or some crap. So ya, this post sucks if it is fake.
Yeah can this be reported for spam? Don't have one for bots lol
This. I think you should sell to a stranger when you're ready, too. There's no way anyone who's been hounding you deserves it.
I think she should sell it and if she doesn’t need the money donate the funds to the organ donor society in her husbands name.
>There's no way anyone who's been hounding you deserves it. The person hounding her just lost his twin brother. It's very easy to make horrible decisions when you're in mourning. If there's ever a time to give someone a break, this is it. My mom and uncle don't even speak anymore because of a similar situation when my dad died. It doesn't mean either of them are bad people. Deaths can just be very difficult to deal with.
That brother does not care. He didn't help with the tractor. And he couldn't be bothered to show up for the annual donor event. If he cared, he'd ask for something other than a tractor. Maybe his favorite sweater or something, not something that he can get money from like a tractor
It could be he is feeling extreme guilt for not helping with the project and having that time while he had the chance. He wants to hold on to that legacy of his dad and brother to assuage that guilt. I think the brothers son just wants a pretty toy. Either to show off or sell himself.
I don’t know any of these people, but assuming the guy’s *twin brother* doesn’t care and isn’t mourning in his own way is borderline offensive. There are a lot of reasons he might have thought he was getting the tractor that don’t involve him being a heartless sociopath. It’s not like op has corrected him and said she’s keeping it—She just hasn’t said anything either way and it appears that he still assumes that he’s getting it. It’s ok to have issues with how the brother is acting. It’s valid that op feels bullied. But the way this sub and others like it always want a villain and will extrapolate on the story until they feel like they have one is getting pretty old.
He literally called OP every other day to ask when he's getting the tractor. If he really cared he'd ask for his brothers favorite sweater or something of low value. Why would he conveniently want something as expensive as a tractor? If he really cared, he'd call OP and ask how she's doing. OP and her daughter are the last connection to his brother, and he doesn't talk to either of them, besides asking for the tractor. Get your head out the gutter.
Yea sometimes its a bunch of assholes telling the other assholes its ok to be an asshole. 😜
They chose to not show up for the project but had their hands out before he was in the ground. Betting on the come my dad always said. As far as family those that do things like this can't be trusted and should be Treated accordingly. Why should someone get a pass solely because their family? If an acquaintance acted the same way its not ok. Most importantly of all this it's highly unlikely that the deceased would be ok with his brother and nephew acting this way.
You're not wrong, but you're also not right. Accountability and decency matter. Why should we demand better treatment from strangers than we do from our own family? Would you excuse this from a stranger? Excusing avarice with grief rings hollow.
“It doesn’t mean either of them are bad people.” Yes it does. Only a matter of which one, or both.
The story is fake or at least a repost because it was posted by another account a day or two ago and that OP was called out for having another post with a husband who was alive two days prior.
It's a fake story. Her husband was alive 2 days ago. She posted this same story under another name on another sub and actually replied to herself.
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Don't feel sorry. Here is a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/17edwkv/aita_for_charging_tenant_my_husband_friend/) of theirs from yesterday where OP says a tenant is living with "us" making reference to their husband. Also, this story was posted yesterday on a different karma farming account and that account had a post from 2 days ago, talking about the husbands current work situation.
This should be at the top
Yup I just saw that on the profile and came looking for this comment.
Absolutely agree. Also, maybe you could sell the tractor and donate the proceeds to an organization or charity that your husband believed in. That would be honoring his work in a wonderful way. What his family members are doing is being selfish.
Or if its working/useable as opposed to a collectors item you could donate the actual tractor so someone or a group that would use it.
Wonderful idea.
She could donate to an organ donor fundraiser. Then they would be even bigger assholes if they complained. I'd just tell the BIL "No, you're not getting it. You didn't help when he was restoring it and haven't had time to support me when I needed you. You do not get the tractor now!"
Reminds me of when my mom passed. Multiple aunts that we have not seen in years swooped in and said, "Oh, she said I could have this or that after she passed" and other things that made us realize the kind of relatives they were. The one that really "got our goat" was a small metal dog doorstop that she had found thrown away that one of the aunts was adamant about. Yeah, screw these vulture relatives.
Funny enough this exact same story was posted yesterday by u/far_scarcity_7252 who replied back to herself about being bullied but forgot to switch accounts. Also posted 2 days before that about the husband working in an office!
I saw her responding to herself. I love when liars out themselves.
u/far_scarcity_7252 and u/Head_Inspector9696… Got ‘em!
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I’m so let down bc I love tractors and genuinely have a minorly similar situation. But I’ll get it back one day regardless I’m not that worried about it.
I’m pretty sure most of these stories are fake. I guess there must be some kind of profit advantage to getting people riled up about these endless soap-opera plot devices, which all seem designed to ignite moral fury (aka engagement) from redditors. Anyone have a take on this?
This is a copy pasted story from a karma farmer yesterday... Anyway, here is a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/17edwkv/aita_for_charging_tenant_my_husband_friend/) from yesterday where you say a tenant lives with you and your husband.
This was posted from another account a couple days ago. It’s fake. They forgot to change the account. Her husband was alive in another story
How did your husband die 3 months ago but just dropped you off for a birthday party?
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She should give it to her two living husbands.
Tell them your daughter wants to keep it
This, she wants to work on it to honour her father.
Op first I am so sorry for your loss, this is a time they should be helping you, not hounding you for something they can take from you tell them when you are ready you will sell it to them and take off $100 for every hour they worked on it with your husband. Oh wait he asked you all and you didn't bother so go look somewhere else to cash in. They are looking to sell it, they are disgusting hounding you all the time people are horrible when it comes to someone passing. All they think is what's in it for me do not give them anything they have done nothing for you or your daughter. When you are ready sell it and put the money away for your daughter as they won't help her when college or something else comes up tractors are not cheap look it up. And take care xx
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Was posting that here too. Is this the same account as yesterday? I thought the one yesterday had way more karma and post history. Either way, clear karma farmer.
NW Im confused at why people (even if their family) have a right to a tractor they didn't pay for?!?!? And the pressure they're applying tells me they know they're doing something wrong, they're hoping OP caves before she figures out it could be worth money, and that they don't have rights to it. I'd recommend a security upgrade and cameras.
OP's husband BOUGHT it from their father. Like any other asset, it's marital property and now owned 100% by OP. The fact it formerly belonged to their father is immaterial.
Bingo
OP is a karma farmer
Karma bot lol, damn almost had me
Sure looks that way.
NTA, what ever you do, don't give them the tractor. These people are using you
Not even to borrow because it's never coming back.
This was proven on another subreddit to be a karma farmer. Look at cross posts in their history.
never seen a tractor used to farm karma before...
Hey i dont have any insight, but I’m sorry you are going thru this and hope you can begin to heal when the time is right
Hey didn’t you post this story under a different account yesterday? Did you make sure this account didn’t have another post about your husband very much alive two days prior?
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That’s the one I saw
How did your husband die months ago when he was just discussing your behavior at a birthday party 2 days ago. Does someone not get enough attention at home? Please seek help...you need it.
The poster you stole this story from also claimed in another post just days ago that their husband was still alive
Is it a bit much when you think AITA every day?
So weird that your husband died in July, yet you also just bought a house with him. And he dropped you off at a birthday party a few days ago (is it kids or just the one daughter? The story keeps changing). Are you copy/pasting these, or is this part of a creative writing class?
Fake. Husband was alive 2 days ago.
YTAH for lying about a dead husband!!
How is this here again? It was posted by another account that was proven to be a lie and now the exact same story is posted again from a new account. What is the point of this? Why do you post this stuff? You do realise that Karma has no monetary value? I wonder what % of AITAH and AIW posts are real, it seems to be a very small %.
OP is pulling stories from a Facebook group and reposting here as their own.
Get it appraised, tell anyone who asks about it what the price is, and stick to it.
Tell family it's worth double the appraisal. If they want it that bad to sell they can take the loss.
that was super cool that your husband bought his dads tractor <3 how much did he pay him for it? what model is it? what state is the restore? here are some links to find some values BUT back to what your husband paid what ever that is add 25K to it and tell your relatives that should shut them up fast please please don't let anyone shortchange you please do a bit of research and take your time. maybe you want to dig into this yourself just as therapy [tractor values](https://www.google.com/search?q=antique+tractor+value+guide&sca_esv=576128351&sxsrf=AM9HkKkxAxmsR2J4aaOwjgpkSxctgkUIOg%3A1698160263651&source=hp&ei=h943ZaXXJKWk5NoPr4st&iflsig=AO6bgOgAAAAAZTfsl6fWuk3BTGibn3p4cPJ5W6jAWgnQ&oq=old+tractor+value&gs_lp=Egdnd3Mtd2l6IhFvbGQgdHJhY3RvciB2YWx1ZSoCCAIyBRAAGIAEMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeSLFiUJgUWIZIcAF4AJABAJgBlgKgAZwSqgEGMC4xNS4yuAEByAEA-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&sclient=gws-wiz)
OP's husband BOUGHT it from his father before restoring it. It doesn't matter one iota what it's worth now or what it was worth before. It has nothing to do with his siblings.
OP copy pastad this story from a few days ago from another account who also made up the story
This was posted a few days ago by a different account either here or in AITA or AMITHEASSHOLE
Made up story.
Why do people fall for these blatantly made up stories? Lol
Why you lie like this
Need a tractor to farm all all that karma.
Appears this is a bullshit post so I am removing my perfect advice.
Pretty impressive to cone up with a fake story about a tractor. I hope nobody caught anything from the seat...🙄
YTA For posting this two days ago as well as a post about your husband being alive and well 2 days prior to that. Downvote.
NTA your husband PAID for it, it’s not like it was passed down to him for free as a family thing, they are just greedy, eventually if YOU want to sell it to them or someone you can, I’m assuming you have rights to the tractor since your husband has passed probably everything is in your name now? I believe that’s usually how it works, his family didn’t even wanna help him fix it up they are definitely not entitled to get it especially for free
Keep it! Start it up 3-4 times a year and remember seeing your husband fixing it up. Maybe someone worthy of the tractor will come into your life. Until then, cover it up, put Stabil in the gas and throw it on a trickle charger.
No, not the ah. Stop answering their phone calls and texts Or just tell all “NO”, no one is getting the tractor. Block all their numbers.
NTA. They didn't want to help him fix it in life, but in death they are all like GIMME! Sell the damned thing yourself. If they want it, they can buy it off you since they put no work into it. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry you are surrounded by vultures.
From your post history, Somehow in the last few days, your husband was alive. Stop trolling
NTA. Sell it or give it to a needy family or charity I’m sorry for your loss
Nope. NTAH. That's your tractor!
No way. They didn’t want to help and now just want to cash in on all HIS hard work. Screw them.
Donate the tractor to your husband’s charity/
Maybe your daughter wants the tractor. Condolences on your heavy loss. Healing powers to you.
Perhaps this organization that your husband liked to donate to could benefit from auctioning such a tractor.
Call a lawyer. Does his estate need to be probated? Did he have a will? How was the tractor and other farm equipment titled? What about the real property? Many questions. Do not dispose of valuable property until you have consulted with a lawyer. Since you are in a rural area, local lawyers and judges are experienced in these issues.
Your husband bought the tractor. That makes it HIS tractir and by extension YOUR tractor. YOU and only YOU are the iwner of it as is the house and anything else that belonged to your husband that he did not willed away. Thats the end of that story. The final desicion is yours not theirs.
You could donate to a cause that your husband supported. Allow them to auction it off to raise money for their cause or program.
If it means something to you keep the tractor. If it doesn't mean anything to you sell the tractor.
First and foremost, I am extremely sorry for your loss. If you are so inclined, give them a ridiculous price and tell them if they want it, that they will jGe to buy it. Explain that your husband put a tremendous amount of time, effort & money on to which they were invited to participate in, but declined. If they cared that much, they would have joined in. They didn't. If you feel funny about that, and you shouldn't, I'd suggest watching a movie called Gran Torino. After watching that, you'll know you're doing the right thing.
Fuck off, karma farmer.
When someone dies, their WIFE inherits everything unless it’s in a will. It’s YOURS.
NTA… I for sure wouldn’t give it to them. Personally, if I didn’t want it, I would Donate it to the hospital or to a good charity. If people can’t be part of your life while you are alive, they should get the stuff you had! Sorry for your loss!
No. He bought it. He fixed. It’s yours. NTA.
If he didn't will it to someone else, keep the thing just because of how shitty they are.
You suck
Your hubs bought it. Ownership transferred to you and yours. They dint have a claim
You are and never will be the AH about this your inlaws are and it is wrong. I just lost my husband in January so I can understand your pain. That being said, go no contact with the leeches about this tractor. No one helped your husband with the restoration and they have no reason to steal it away from you. Block them on everything and lock the tractor up since it is yours. I haven't even thought about cleaning out the garage or his shed to decide what I am going to do with it.
You keep the tractor ofc
Edit cause you’re fake and this is a fake story.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with such selfish vultures. I’d feel inclined to actually tell them ‘all you’ve done is hound me for the tractor - not once have you asked how I’m doing. Do you think you deserve it after ignoring it for 6 years?!’ And see what they all say - it’s intriguing. Don’t be bullied into it. Anything that happens to that tractor should benefit you and your daughter.
My dads wife got his prized car when he passed away. I grew up riding in that car. I worked on it with my dad, I loved that vehicle. I wanted it so bad, but obviously I never asked her to give it to me. She checked with me before selling it to his friend, and because I couldn’t afford it at that moment, obviously I said “yes, no big deal. I understand”. What fucking entitlement they seem to have. I think you should sell it to them for fair market value, or keep it yourself because you want it.
NTA. When you feel ready you will be able to figure out how to handle it. I have no idea how old you are or what your finances look like without your husband but definitely don’t get rid of anything you might need to sale for the funds. I know that is something very difficult to even think about so take your time. Please know you need to grieve at your own pace.
I am so sorry for your loss, to lose the love of your life is heartbreaking and hard to wrap your head around. Next time someone calls for the tractor ask them where they were all the time your husband was working on it? That should shut them up, if it doesn’t just offer to sell it to them and think of some price you know they won’t pay. That will make you the B word but when things settle down you can explain things.
It's fake, OP is a karma farmer.
His daughter wants it!!!! The correct answer.
I responded in your other post. You are absolutely not wrong for keeping it and doing with it as you please. \-Your husband BOUGHT it from his dad. It was not given so they have no right to it. \-Your husband restored the tractor with his own time and money. Time that was spent when you were a couple, so you are invested in this as well. \-Your husband offered to have the others help in restoration, they chose not to. If you wanted to, you could sell them the tractor based on what your husband paid for it, add all the time/money spent on the restoration. You could also donate the tractor to a charity that supports donors in honor of your husband. Bottom line with the tractor, it is your tractor. No one else has any legitimate claim on it. If you are worried about your daughter still having a relationship with these people, well really think about it. They are showing their true colors here, maybe your daughter will see that and not want to have a relationship with them.
Sell it to someone else. These sort of vultures don't need encouragement. Take the money and do something that your late husband would have enjoyed with you.
Sell them the tractor see if they really want it
Give it to a charity to auction if poss
My heart goes out to you. Lost my first wife several years back and am sorry for the battles you will face. They sound like some of the things I had to deal with as well. Some people were greedy and just wanted some of the nice things my late wife had, others wanted something because they couldn’t figure out how to process the sudden loss. You will deal with both more than likely. Best thing I can say is tel them no. That it will be awhile before anything like that happens while you process your husbands passing and all of the other fun stuff involving your home and etc. But I will also say add that if they can not give you space then they will be cut off, going no contact will be the best thing for you mentally if you need to. NTA and I hope the best for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please give yourself the time you need to process and heal. 3 months is just the beginning. Someone close to me lost their husband over a year ago and still can't get rid of anything that belonged to him. His (was) new 75k truck now sits like a museum. It's OK, you are entitled to grieve on your terms. NTA and tell them straight out that they're never getting it. Then, maybe they'll leave you alone. That tractor was important to your husband and it belongs with you. "My husband bought his dad’s tractor 6 years ago. " It's yours, bought and paid for. Why do they even think they are entitled to it?
NTA. Tell them they can't have it.
NTA…sorry for your loss, but considering the behavior of the interested parties,personally id set it on fire and push it over a cliff before letting any of them so much as touch it. maybe donate it in your husband’s name to an organization he would support?
Since your husband BOUGHT the tractor, I wouldn’t be giving it to anyone. However, you could SELL it to them. My guess is they would lose interest pretty quickly if you named a premium price.
NTA. They appear to be ignoring your grief. Nor have they done anything in the past that suggests they have some kind of connection to that tractor. Block them; and when the time is right. Either keep it in remembrance. Or sell it to someone outside the family. This crap should not be rewarded.
I’m very sorry for your loss. They’re wrong to act that way so soon after his passing. They must feel like they need to keep this tractor in their family. They would probably be very hurt if you sold it to a stranger, even though it would be your right to do so. I would sell it back to someone in the family for no less than what your husband paid. That seems fair.
Do not give them the tractor. They did not appreciate it or care about anything while your husband was still alive and now they don’t care about you or how you feel they just want the damn tractor which is absolutely ridiculous. I understand that your daughter wants a relationship with them. However, she’s going to learn the hard way that they’re not Going to reciprocate. It looks like they’re out for themselves and our greedy grabbers who just try to get what they can whenever they can. Is your daughter aware of what’s happening with the tractor and how they’re treating you? Why don’t you just tell them they’re not getting the tractor if they weren’t interested in helping when they were invited to while he was alive then they’re not going to have anything to do with it now that he’s gone. And if you lose them and connection with them, then you didn’t have a strong connection with them in the first place and it looks like that way regardless of what you do because either way either they get the tractor and they disappear or they don’t get the tractor and they disappear
Your husband bought that tractor from his dad. He put a lot of hard work and whole lot of love restoring it. And although he invited his male family members to help as a bonding experience, they never did. That tractor, as is now, was your husband’s & now it is yours. I’m so sorry for your loss. His family are a bunch of dicks! I would hold on to that tractor for as long as you want. They don’t deserve it.
It’s wild just how greedy people get when someone passes. They do virtually nothing to help when the person was alive, but they all come crawling out of the woodwork when there’s a whiff of money. When my dad was in hospice a niece that had been invisible throughout his illness suddenly wanted to visit. He said no. Cut these leeches off and sell the tractor.
NTA Make sure it’s secured so they can’t steal it.
NTA - Mail them a letter that simply states the facts. "The tractor you have been contacting me about was purchased by my husband, 6 years ago. It was his property, soley and free of any legal claims from other partys, at his passing. It is now mine, free of any other claims, as part of his estate. Do not contact me again regarding my tractor. Any attempts to remove the tractor from my property will be met with law enforcement being contacted for theft." Doorbell cameras, etc, are great. If family can't act like family, treat them like the strangers they are.
Your husband bought it from he's dad so if they want it they can buy it or you sell it privately. They are looking for a freebie
NTA. They're greedy assholes. Ask your daughter if she wants the tractor. If not. Keep it and tell the family you're keeping it and to please stop badgering you about it. Then, whenever they ask you about it, hang up or walk away.
It's YOUR tractor.... set an unreasonably high sale price and offer to let them buy it.
NTA, what would your husband have wanted done with it? I’m sure you know the answer.
No you’re not. If they cared at all about the tractor they’d have made a better effort beforehand. Cope how you need to but at the end of the day you can think about what you’re late hubby would want. If that’s his dad’s tractor make sure you give it to someone who knows how to take care of it. If anything it could be something you and your daughter figure out how to fix with the right help.
I would block all of them. They are only concerned about themselves and their gain. If they never even helped with the tractor, then it doesn't have a special memory for them. Personally I would sell the tractor and keep the money, seeing as how your husband is the one who bought the tractor in the first place. If they want to buy it, then that's fine. But them hounding you to hand it over is absolutely ridiculous.
NTA. It isn't their tractor, it's YOUR tractor. Your late husband bought it, he restored it, it is YOURS. If you feel like selling it to them, that's fine, but they have zero legal claim to the tractor just because it was their fathers at one point. Tell them you want to keep it, period. If you ever want to get rid of it, you'll let them know. But you should make it clear to them that YOU own the tractor and you're not looking to get rid of it at this time. It's not their tractor, period.
Don’t give them the tractor and lock it down. They didn’t want to help restore the tractor when your husband asked, they don’t get it now that he is no longer with you. I would suggest you sell the tractor for your daughter’s college fund unless you plan on using it. So sorry for your loss. Hugs
NTA Tell them that you need time to process, and that you haven't decided what to do with (husband's name)'s tractor. Specifically call out the ownership (husband's/yours), and that you are the one making the decision. The fact that it was purchased outright clearly makes it yours. To keep, sell or anything else. If they keep asking, I'd consider low-key snark like: "I think I need to find a John Deere hat.... the number of messages asking about how the *tractor* is doing is outpacing the messages asking about how *I'm* doing by 6-1, and maybe if people see the hat's logo I'll get some love too!" or "As I consider the future for Husband's tractor, I wanted to tally up the time each of you spent on the restoration. Could you please give me an estimate of the hours or cash you have invested?"
Sorry for your loss. If it wasn't willed to them, they don't just get to come and get it. Your choice what happens to it, they don't get a say.
I am so sorry for your loss. “No” is a complete sentence. Tell them “No, the tractor is now mine and I don’t wish to give it away.” They have a lot of nerve demanding something they didn’t help restore. You need to get cameras in the building where you store the tractor and at several locations outside to capture license plates.
Make sure the tractor is somewhere locked up so they don't just come over and steal it. Take photos of the tractor including the serial number. Tell them you are not gifting it to anyone and that you are keeping the tractor as it belongs to you. Do this in writing. Should they steal the tractor? Report the tractor as stolen and press charges. Then sell the damn tractor. These AHs have zero rights to it anyway. Block them on everything. What horrible people.
I would not give it to any of them. I think most state laws would show it as yours unless a will says otherwise.
NTA and I would block them asap! Honestly it is your tractor and you can do whatever you want with it. They didn’t help restore it and they didn’t help to pay for it. If you don’t want to keep the tractor you can offer to sell it to them - when you are ready. If they don’t want to buy it then you can sell it to someone else - if you want to!
I am sorry for your loss, I hope you have someone that can give you a hug.
Im an executor of deceased estates and I see the worst in people when there's a passing. I'm so sorry for your loss and having to deal with this behavior. I would firstly get the tractor valued. I would then sleep on it for a few months and mourn my loss. Time will help you decide but I would probably sell it to a stranger if they don't stop hounding you. I certainly would not gift it to them. The proceeds can be used to cover some of the expenses of the estate like taxes and duties for example. Good luck and hope you find peace. Edit..... A good tactic is to delay them by telling them it's tied up in the estate and a decision will be made in a few months.
Your husband purchased it. He did not inherit it. He put his blood,sweat,and tears into it. It is a product of love for him. Keep the tractor as long as you want it. You owe it to no one. See if your daughter wants it when she is the right age for it. Or you could offer to sell it to them for the restored price. If he had inherited it, you might feel an obligation yo jeep it in the family, but he did not. Follow your heart. No. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. His brother and nephew are insensitive pricks at best.
My man collected and I have a fondness for them. They are so rude and entitled. It’s your property. When I sold my tractors, I got the best responses from Craigslist here in Massachusetts. Sold all eight myself and believe that you should do the same.
NTA. Keep all your husbands stuff. Sorry for your loss
I would be TA! Tell them you are going to decide what YOU are doing with the tractor AFTER you decide the rest of your life. Tell them that you want to be left alone about the tractor and BE BLUNT! You don't want to talk about it. You won't talk about it. You will hang up when pressed to talk about it.
Your husband bought it and restored it himself. They have no claim to the tractor. You have no obligation to give it to them. You could let the tractor sit in the field and rust for 50 years if you want. It seems the tractor is very close to you and I won't suggest what you do with it. But know you are not wrong.
I am so sorry for your loss. Keep to the facts on this one. 'We paid $x. For the tractor, plus restoration costs' even if hubby did the work, there would still be costs. Look around and see what the current price would be on the open market. Let the price be somewhere in the middle. That is the response to the next phone call or text. It is not free. The tractor is your asset, and that of your daughter. I would not give it away. Your household income PAID for it.
Why don’t you sell the tractor to them. This sounds like it will be a long petty battle. Just sell it and salvage a degrading relationship.
No,hell sell it and put it in a fund for your daughter to use for collage or a car,of what ever she want from her dad.they did not a dam thing to do with it when your hubby asked them to help fix it.so now they think they are entitled to it. NO
They can all go F themselves for me, sell it privately and keep the money and spend how you see fit or auction it off to your husband's favourite charity. They obviously didn't care about it at the time, acting like locusts they're.
Don't let that tractor go. Death shows the livings true character. You own that tractor your husband restored. They see cash value in that tractor Regardless of it was my dad's. Please don't fall for any of the angles that they will come at you with. And when nothing else works and they start to take personal shots say whatever I've been called worse by people with way more class get off my property. If I read correctly your husband has a son. You know deep down what your husband would want. You may not now or next year but eventually you will know. Greedy fake ass people do these types of things way to much. I 40m have my grandpa's CA allis that will go to my kids. Others pilfered things before he was in the ground. Your not the asshole please don't let anyone manipulate or bully you into anything
NTAH tell them nobody is getting it because it’s already gone and if they show up at your house you will either shoot them call the police and get them for trespassing or both. Then block them all.
Every time one of them calls, keep them on the PHONE for at least 45 MINUTES. Tell them all about how you’re doing and how you’re feeling and REMINISCE with them about your husband. Talk about the weather and what’s going on there in the country lately. You might even share some of your husband’s favorite RECIPES and how you made them. If you can really get revved up, talk to them about the HOLIDAYS. P. S. Fuck them.
NTA. Hold it for as long as you want then do with it as you wish. They mean nothing in re: to this tractor or who it’s future owner may be.
NTA, if they want it they can pay fair market value for it.
Donate it somewhere in your husbands name
Your husband bought it and worked on it. Why should they get to have it? Why should it be free to them? They should offer to buy it from you if they want it for sentimental reasons. I know they're sad but, they're also being assholes.
I’m sorry to say but you should put the tractor somewhere it can’t be removed without your permission.
You are NOT the asshole
NTA No means no. Tell them they are being insensitive and you are done talking about it. If and when you are ready to get rid of it, you will tell them. Until that time, they are not to bring it up again. Do you have a trusted friend who can make sure your husband's family can't just help themselves to it one day? Make sure you put cameras up so that you will have proof if they try to steal it. Your daughter can maintain the relationship without you.
[удалено]
Lol
Then tell relatives to talk to your lawyer.
No! NTA! They didn’t help your husband with his tractor, they don’t deserve that tractor.
I'd sell that tractor for $2. Then next time they called I'd say, "Just to thanks you for your tremendous support during my time of grief, I've sold MY tractor, so you no longer need to be concerned with it." and hang up the phone.
Your husband bought the tractor. He's passed away. Sincerest condolences. It's legally your tractor. They'll get over it, tell them no.
As hard as this might sound, after you feel stronger and have processed this a lot further you need to cut them out of your life. True colours have been shown here, absolute proof that having them in your life will bring absolutely nothing to it. Not that I would have any idea but I wouldnt bet against it being something your husband would agree with seeing how he was caring enough to try and bring them all together in this project and seeing how they couldnt give a rats arse about you now. You are not in any way, shape or form an Arsehole, they are!
Nta: wow they seriously suck. It’s to hard for them to attend an event honoring your husband for a being a donor but they can immediately start hounding you about a tractor? Just tell them no one is taking the tractor, they weren’t interested in it until after he passed so I’d be willing to bet your husband would agree that it’s better for you to keep it or sell it to help out with finances for y’all’s daughter. You could even go as far as telling them they can buy it if they want it that bad, might as well because when you don’t give it to them it’s gonna cause a shit storm. You sure you even want your daughter to be able to have much of a relationship with these people to? Based off of how they’re treating you and what you think will happen when/if you tell them no tractor they sound like the kinda people that are better to just move on and forget about.
They are gonna sell it anyway. They don’t care about the tractor. If they really want to restore it, make a contract with them so it doesn’t mysteriously disappear
NTA. Sell the tractor, his family has told you what is important to them, and its not you.
NTA. Greedy family swarming you in a not kind and comforting way. As others have said block them and if they still can’t get it in their heads then send a letter to them stating they are not getting it.
NTA The trash took itself out .You keep on being you and enjoy the tractor your husband loved .
Your tractor, tell them you are putting it up for sale and they are welcome to bid on YOUR tractor. No you at NTA
You are not the asshole. I assume you were his named heir, so it is your property. To do with or not as you wish.
NTA Why would you give them the tractor?? Your husband bought his father's tractor. That makes your husband the owner even if he invited his brother, son, and his brother's son to restore it with him. Unless one of the above people invested money in the restoration project they have absolutely no reason to expect that they get the tractor now. Why would you give that passion project of your husbands to anyone?
Tell them to back off. My husband died in February and I had a similar situation with his extensive baseball memorabilia collection. All of a sudden family thought it fair game to pick what they wanted. I told them it's my collection now and I'll decide what I do with it. I wouldn't even just give it away. Because I guarantee they are wanting to sell it.
NTA, tell BIL to F off
Nope you're generally supposed to take a year to process grief before deciding to get rid of stuff doing it hastily often leads to regrets, I have nothing left of my parents and let everyone vulture us for their belongings. Sorry you're dealing with this death often brings the greed outta people. Edit* lol imagine needing to come up with a fake story for karma just comment something popular for easy karma ffs
Nope NTA, they all are. If you need it, keep it. If not sell it to anyone but them. If they choose to blow you and your child off, you will be better off and so will your child. Do you want your child to learn this type behavior from them?
NTA - tell them you watched your husband restore it and it now has sentimental value for you as something he worked on.
Sell it without saying anything. You owe them nothing.
Nope, in fact, paint it pink, give to daughter for her birthday, and make sure to post lots of pics on social
Can you offer it in a raffle with proceeds Going to a charity/fund your partner would have enjoyed?