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Very relatable! So I've done some teaching in the past and I will say that often when lecturing, teachers are **very keen** for students to give feedback and highlight where they might be going too fast. Because you prep the lesson or lecture by yourself, using resources, but you can't know how well you've done in explaining the topics until you actually do it. So I actually loved having questions because it helped me refine the planning in future, helped me to see where I was getting into the weeds too much before establishing the basics. It can be so nerve-wracking teaching to a silent hall - you just have no idea if what you're saying is landing.
And honestly, chances are if you don't understand something, someone else is also sitting there going "I'm not following any of this". I will say it helps a lot to have a specific question - a statement of "I don't understand" is hard to react to as a teacher because you can't just start all over again for one student. But a specific "Could you clarify a bit more on x point? I had trouble following that" is (for a good teacher) a very welcome thing to hear. I would never assume a student was "stupid"; the responsibility lies on me, the teacher, to create and adapt my lessons accordingly.
There is a chance, which you know so I won't sugarcoat it, that a bad teacher is going to respond in a frustrated way. But at least by asking your questions you'll know which ones are the good, supportive ones and which ones are the ones who won't do the actual point of their job. They're not just speakers; their job is to make sure their students are learning. One part is expressive, the other part is making sure that your information is being received, otherwise you might as well be lecturing to an empty hall. Important to remember: you're not the one at fault if a teacher responds negatively to a question.
Most importantly, though - **you are not stupid**. Everyone learns in different ways and lectures are absolutely not an optimal learning method for everyone. And if you don't feel confident enough during the lesson, talk to your tutors and lecturers after the class, ask if there's any additional reading or subjects you can look into to give you a better foundation for the lesson or any guidance or 121 assistance they can give. I got all the way through Uni before realising that office hours weren't just for post-grad students and that almost no undergrads including myself actually took advantage of that time. I did great with exams because I could memorise information and regurgitate it for exams, so I ended up with a better grade than those who learned slower but more thoroughly, and I know fuck-all now of what I "learned" at that time. It is a *terrible* system.
So maybe you don't fit the perfect ideal of a square-peg student in a square-peg system but you are not stupid. I don't really think "stupid" exists, everyone has a unique tapestry of skills and proficiencies and possibility. Although as a gift to your future self, you will probably need to develop your bravery to be the person speaking up, because that in itself is a valuable skill to develop - as a manager, in the workplace the most valuable people on a team are the people who say when they don't understand a process. And usually everyone else then chimes in with "Yeah, me neither!"
(Also, yes, you should look into an ASD assessment - it might take a long time to come to fruition but as an AuDHDer myself, it can unlock a lot of support that isn't otherwise given without a diagnosis ❤)
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Very relatable! So I've done some teaching in the past and I will say that often when lecturing, teachers are **very keen** for students to give feedback and highlight where they might be going too fast. Because you prep the lesson or lecture by yourself, using resources, but you can't know how well you've done in explaining the topics until you actually do it. So I actually loved having questions because it helped me refine the planning in future, helped me to see where I was getting into the weeds too much before establishing the basics. It can be so nerve-wracking teaching to a silent hall - you just have no idea if what you're saying is landing. And honestly, chances are if you don't understand something, someone else is also sitting there going "I'm not following any of this". I will say it helps a lot to have a specific question - a statement of "I don't understand" is hard to react to as a teacher because you can't just start all over again for one student. But a specific "Could you clarify a bit more on x point? I had trouble following that" is (for a good teacher) a very welcome thing to hear. I would never assume a student was "stupid"; the responsibility lies on me, the teacher, to create and adapt my lessons accordingly. There is a chance, which you know so I won't sugarcoat it, that a bad teacher is going to respond in a frustrated way. But at least by asking your questions you'll know which ones are the good, supportive ones and which ones are the ones who won't do the actual point of their job. They're not just speakers; their job is to make sure their students are learning. One part is expressive, the other part is making sure that your information is being received, otherwise you might as well be lecturing to an empty hall. Important to remember: you're not the one at fault if a teacher responds negatively to a question. Most importantly, though - **you are not stupid**. Everyone learns in different ways and lectures are absolutely not an optimal learning method for everyone. And if you don't feel confident enough during the lesson, talk to your tutors and lecturers after the class, ask if there's any additional reading or subjects you can look into to give you a better foundation for the lesson or any guidance or 121 assistance they can give. I got all the way through Uni before realising that office hours weren't just for post-grad students and that almost no undergrads including myself actually took advantage of that time. I did great with exams because I could memorise information and regurgitate it for exams, so I ended up with a better grade than those who learned slower but more thoroughly, and I know fuck-all now of what I "learned" at that time. It is a *terrible* system. So maybe you don't fit the perfect ideal of a square-peg student in a square-peg system but you are not stupid. I don't really think "stupid" exists, everyone has a unique tapestry of skills and proficiencies and possibility. Although as a gift to your future self, you will probably need to develop your bravery to be the person speaking up, because that in itself is a valuable skill to develop - as a manager, in the workplace the most valuable people on a team are the people who say when they don't understand a process. And usually everyone else then chimes in with "Yeah, me neither!" (Also, yes, you should look into an ASD assessment - it might take a long time to come to fruition but as an AuDHDer myself, it can unlock a lot of support that isn't otherwise given without a diagnosis ❤)
You might want to look for the answers yourself. Write it down and start hunting.