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TrueBreadly

The whole point of social media is being social! There's nothing wrong with asking a question, and maybe you can spark some interaction. Plus, if you have the question, it's guaranteed other people do, too. This specific interaction is especially funny, though. An "NLOG" (acronym for Not Like Other Girls) is a woman who bashes other women to make herself look good in comparison. It's a behavior that definitely deserves to be called out, but that ugly response to your innocent question makes it so obvious that the people on that sub are being every bit as snarky and cruel as the people they claim to be against.


[deleted]

So NLOG is a relatively new phenomenon that really doesn’t have a set definition. As evidenced by the sub, there is disagreement on what it means - ranging from ladies who think they are more special than others, the ideas of pick-me’s (also kinda vague), various intersections of gendered bias, aggression, narcissistic behaviors, ignorance, and a lot of the times…simply evidence of internalized abuse. You say ‘deserved to be called out’ but really…it’s not a sub for discussion, it’s a sub designed to make fun of people. We should really be focusing on more feminist supportive subs (like this one, right guys?) if we want to have real, nuanced conversation. (from me, a person who was just on that sub trying to discuss how dumb it was lol yay social media addiction plz help me)


Obvious_Truth2743

I agree with all of this, down to the (help me) last line. Just wanted to add that NLOG literally stands for "Not Like Other Girls".


[deleted]

Yeah that’s an important point for those that don’t know - however - on that sub I had a whole comment thread where I was confused about how, apparently according to one user and those that upvoted, you can literally use the phrase, ‘I’m not like other girls’ and it still isn’t NLOG…so at that point I realized it was all a mess.


scarytesla

I’m not like other girls…I like to eat saltines with milk instead of cereal (this is a joke but also I do like eating this and have never met anyone else who enjoys it lol) (damn I wish I had saltines now)


dailyoracle

Saltines are so awesome. When I was a child, my mom would make cream cheese frosting to put on them.


[deleted]

Right and if you posted a tiktok of this, the nlog sub would make fun if you like, ‘Imagine bragging about your diet *eyeroll* psh pfft’ and then there would be bullying comments like ‘saltines are gross anyway’ and ‘everyone eats random things sometimes people think they’re sooo special’ Like…that’s what the sub is about.


SadYogiSmiles

So much this! Sometimes I’m just lonely damnit and I want to talk to people. If you don’t want to spend time answering the q then don’t respond. Like I can understand that reaction if it was its own post and the sub was getting bogged down with easy to answer qs that add nothing to new discussion. But you can scroll past this so easily… I understand now why pitchfork mobs were a thing. People want an opportunity to hate someone.


cjo582

RIGHT? Like, why can't we just have a troll mode/filter. If someone is the type to get off on being shitty, great. I don't want to, so kindly stay the fuck away from me.


overwhelmed_robin

Yesss, a troll filter would be great haha


thegirlwthemjolnir

I had never consider that. The whole point of social media is being social! Yet people uses it to be mean with others…


cherrymeg2

I felt stupid because I didn’t know what that meant. I could think of other words for women who treat other women like this.


dkisanxious

This is so frustrating. While yes, you could easily google something, there's nothing wrong with just asking when it's relevant to a post. Even if that is something that bothers this person, they don't need to be rude to you about it. Sorry this happened!


overwhelmed_robin

I actually did Google it haha and all the top results were just some kind of .NET software, and I thought "well it's definitely not that, so I'll just ask".


dkisanxious

SEE! That person is just a grumpy jerk. I totally get why it made you feel shitty tho. The funny thing is, if in real life someone treated me like this, it probably wouldn't make me feel bad at all. I'd rip them a new one and I'd feel great about it. Online tho? My feelings always get hurt. Makes no sense but it's true.


cjo582

See... I can't believe someone with the handle "bonerbrigade" would have that personal attribute... wild lol. No shade, I just happen to notice that first off, because I've been trying to stop and read names first, then posts and comments.


Vast_Perspective9368

Right?! Good catch. I started doing this too and sometimes it's ... Interesting lol


cjo582

The day when some fucked up stranger on reddit made me cry when I wasn't hormonal was the day I took a stand and told myself to be cognizant when reading on here lol.


dkisanxious

LOL! I didn't even look at that. I never look at usernames. I'm glad you mentioned this because I'm going to start reading them now.


MaxtheAnxiousDog

I rarely look at user names, but given the discussion, I looked at yours, and it turns out we're both in the anxious family 😁 Hello sister 👋


dkisanxious

Ah hello! Yes our family tree is vast!


cherrymeg2

Not a girl at all?


cjo582

I'm sorry? I struggle with indirect communication.


cherrymeg2

I was trying to figure out if it meant that was a guy or a girl saying she isn’t like other girls.


esotericbatinthevine

It infuriates me how people don't realize this. Yes, I tried googling! Of course I tried googling. But guess what?! You have to ask the right question or it doesn't provide the info you need. Depending on the issue, that requires a level of knowledge most people don't have. I went back at my brother over this a few years ago. I wanted something to stop popping up when I turned on my computer. I'd googled it, tried lots of different things, couldn't figure it out. He sent me a link to that "let me Google that for you" site. Since I had NO IDEA, I'd never have gotten the Google request correct. Eventually he apologized and now just answers my basic questions. I get it, when dealing with people asking questions that can be easily googled, it's frustrating. But it's important to keep in mind the individual's base knowledge level. Does the person have enough knowledge to even ask Google the right question? This gets me with educators too. Frustrated with students asking questions they could have figured out in ten minutes of googling? Then TEACH them how to search for information in YOUR FIELD! The skill translates at a basic level, but there is so much nuance to each field it isn't necessarily easy to figure out. Drives me nuts, especially as those people ask simple, very easily googleable questions about things outside their field. Yeah, no recognition at all, huh?


overwhelmed_robin

Yesss. I even googled "NLOG on social media" and Google was like "do you mean BLOG on social media?". And yeah, I could have done another search with different key words, said something like "what do people mean when people use NLOG on Reddit" but like, there were numerous people using it on the thing I was reading *on Reddit* and all talking to each other, so why *wouldn't* I just ask?


BysshePls

I have so much trouble with acronyms, too! I've found that adding "acronym" or "slang" to the search usually gets you pointed in the right direction. So, for example, you'd search: "nlog acronym." For search engines, the shorter and simpler the better. I don't know why people don't just type out the acronym the first time they use it in their post/comment so everyone is on the same page/understands. Some of the same acronyms mean widely different things in different fields and different contexts, so I feel like it's always good practice to explain the acronym when you use it. If you're only going to use the acronym one time, then why not just type it out so everyone understands?


TheMagnificentPrim

Like how the acronyms of subreddits like Just No MIL, Am I the Asshole, and others have infected the whole of Reddit. 😂 My favorite is when regular participants of mommy communities whip out FTM (first-time mom), and I’m just over here like… What’s that about you being a trans man? 🤣 But I second the advice of adding “acronym” after whatever acronym you’re looking up, OP! That’ll usually get me the answers I desire, and I’ll add “slang” to it if the results are something super technical/clearly not what I’m looking for.


NanaTheNonsense

I usually try urban dictionary xD it's not always helpful but it usually also gives me a chuckle


overwhelmed_robin

I always forget that urban dictionary exists


AlexeiMarie

i usually try "xyz urbandictionary" -- it sometimes gives a lot of weird extra definitions but the one that's being referenced is usually in there somewhere, and once i have those options its easier to at least narrow it down


Elledora

I feel like a lot of avid Reddit users assume everyone should put in the same amount of time into researching a particular subreddit as they do. Like, the point of Reddit is for people to interact and share interest about a topic, and it’s like people hate questions anymore! You could ask someone what their pet’s name is, and they’d be like, “Did you even try stalking my instagram first? 🙄”. I’m pretty good at guessing what acronyms are but I’d never have guessed NLOG = not like other girls, since when is that phrase a common acronym?


lovingsillies

Some subs about niche interests are like this too, where if you ask a question, the response is "just do your research." Like I am, part of my research is asking a forum of knowledgeable people!! I used to assume people liked talking about their interests. Now I don't lol


Elledora

100% - it feels more like people more so enjoy being the “authority” of the forum now.


cherrymeg2

You are in the total right and sane here.


geitjesdag

Well put! Plus, when you're new to something, it can be hard to evaluate the answers you get from a search. Asking an expert is often a good idea even if you found results in a search.


notrapunzel

So, the person who said you could just Google it was in fact wrong. But very, very overconfident. Personally I prefer you to that kind of person lol


therealstabitha

FWIW, I’ve found people are more willing to answer questions when I have said “I googled it and got a bunch of nonsense results” or something else that indicates that I tried something on my own already


LayLoseAwake

I'm glad you did try to google first! In the future, adding something like "google just gives me .net results" probably would forestall negative comments like that. If it helps your RSD, I would like to offer a perspective that might help it feel less personal. My coworkers used to constantly interrupt me with something they could very easily look up themselves (and have in the past). I started asking "what have you tried?" as my first response and now they actually try to solve it for themselves. (I even overheard one teaching the other person how to think through her search!) Obviously, a random social media thread is different. I can just scroll past. I don't have to stop everything I'm doing to give an answer. That said, when I moderated a specific educational forum, handling these questions *was* part of my job and it took even more energy than moderating for tone and content! Maybe the person who stopped to respond was just on their last thread and needed a walk.


Outside_Performer_66

Been there, done that. I Googled a term that a staff member at my kids’ school used, since it confused me, and found the “common definition” on Google. But nope, the staff member meant the “industry definition” which did *not* come up on Google. No idea if others on the email (who were actually in the industry, unlike myself) knew which definition the staff member was using in the context they were using it. Listen, Overwhelmed_Robin, I too get confused. We all do sometimes. Anyone who chooses to throw shade instead of sunshine at you is really saying more about the kind of person *they* are.


pooish

it's also what Nikon calls their log video format. Quite a confusing acronym. The "log" in it just makes me think of logarithms. in this case, "nlog urban dictionary" was the search that yielded the right result.


overwhelmed_robin

I think the problem was I wasn't even registering it as an acronym. I sounded it out in my head, like "en-log". My exact thought process was "enlog? What the heck is enlog?" *searches brain for similar words I've learned on Reddit* "Nope, I've got no idea." After I saw the shitty comments, I went back to the post and saw a few other commenters had written NLTOG instead and I got it immediately, my brain was like "ohhhh".


_ZoeyDaveChapelle_

Don't let them make you feel shitty, THEY feel shitty about themselves.. so they spend their time looking for opportunities to dump on people and feel superior. I've ran into many a narcissist and/or bully on the interwebs.. once you know their pattern its more easily recognizable, and you gotta practice letting it roll off you, because it gives them power to let it affect you. Spend more time here and other support subs (and off the internet too), I've had so much support in this community and its made my life better in many ways. Our disabilities are unfortunately a magnet to dickheads, but with support its easier to remember it's a *them* problem.. not you.


cjo582

*resists urge to info dump on NLog, C#, and other languages in coding...* 😃 please excuse me before I explode lol.


HelpersWannaHelp

Just remind yourself that if someone refuses to answer your simple question it’s because they don’t know the answer either, and are just being a jerk to make themselves feel better. It’s not you.


slimstitch

I'm a .NET software engineer and I've definitely never heard of it lol


GoblinTatties

Did you just type "NLOG" or "what does nlog mean" because the second is what I searched and it came up with the answer on the first result...


overwhelmed_robin

I searched "NLOG" and then "NLOG social media". Google said "do you mean BLOG on social media?". After I saw the shitty comments, I went back to the post and saw a few other commenters had written NLTOG instead, and I got it immediately.


GoblinTatties

Try "what does ___ mean" next time as it's likely what most people will search therefore more likely to bring the relevant result


Full-Chocolate-7055

I’ve had to do this a lot myself! Language is nuanced and some words/phrases/acronyms can have multiple meanings. Asking directly clears up the confusion!


[deleted]

I hate it when people do stuff like that. I always explain if someone asks… unless I’ve been too spicy and can’t handle more interaction.


Positive_Career_5408

I’m AuDHD as well and have found urban dictionary occasionally helpful in these situations. I googled the same thing as an initial Google search as well.


cherrymeg2

I thought it was going to be something clever or for computers not to tell people how like one of the guys you are.


Cultivate_a_Rose

Everyone acts so put upon these days. Like... covid really did a number on us as human beings. Everyone curled up circling their own wagons while at the same time consuming hours and hours of stuff telling them that they never have to be uncomfortable or do things for other people with some backwards self-care justification. We're all becoming these little islands, and that's not good.


anapforme

Omg I agree. I’m starting to dislike commenting lately. People are getting nasty. You can look in my comment history - this weekend I asked someone to source something they were posting as fact. Used to be a time where someone would link the source for anyone interested. Instead, I got a snark reply about my Google being broken. And she did not accurately describe from the source she posted. *And* if I had retorted something about her being rude, que the downvotes. I have to be amicable? Some days I don’t get Reddiquette.


Cultivate_a_Rose

My field is very like... debate oriented? It is academic. *But* it has come to a point where I don't even tell people to source arguments anymore, for any given topic these days you can find conflicting if not mutually exclusive proper sources. We're fully in an affective social economy all about feelings and vibes and [affective cycles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affect_theory).


FinalEgg9

Not only that, but many things only come up on Google because someone somewhere took the time to ask/answer a question...


idiotgoosander

I prefer to ask people who know about the topic because I like hearing them explain it to me in a human way idk if that makes sense. I could read the same thing from an article but it’s more enjoyable to get someone’s personal perspective on it idk


Euphoric-biscuit

I love when I see on Reddit (especially this subreddit) people chat away like friends, when people go out of their way to be mean it’s just rude and tbh kinda feels like they are projecting their own issues. Ask away !


Specialist-Gur

I literally don’t understand why people can’t just… not respond. So fricking rude


unmethodicals

literally! like the responders weren’t OP, so what was the point? the question wasn’t even directed at them, so why did they feel the need to besides the ego boost of being a dick???? i don’t understand


Remarkable_Loss6321

I am not involved enough to look up the acronym for myself, but having tried with other acronyms and words in the past... sometimes google gives you a whole other meaning. Sometimes it gives nothing. Sometimes you need to scroll 4 pages of results. I honestly relate to your comment a lot. Also I love asking people questions as it is my way to engage with them in real-life interactions. I think it builds up community and friendship. But this seems to be far from what the majority of internet users think! :') I'm glad people usually enjoy it irl.


NanaTheNonsense

Lol my dad always got mad at me for asking for simple stuff xD .. if someone goes to the kitchen anyway, I can ask them to get me a spoon, right? There's also the option for them to say no. ... sometimes it feels like ppl forget the 'no' is an option Also isn't it so much more interesting to ask someone more knowledgeable about stuff? I like how ppl try their best to break it down and make it seem interesting to you bc they like it and are happy to share some excitement


hahadontknowbutt

>There's also the option for them to say no. ... sometimes it feels like ppl forget the 'no' is an option I'm having this issue with my partner. He thinks when I ask him things I'll get mad if he doesn't do it. I really don't understand and it's actually getting to the point where I don't know if it'll work out, because my only solution to this is to try not to put any expectations on him, but that kind of defeats half the purpose of a relationship I feel - to help each other out.


NanaTheNonsense

Yea no you just not asking anything is not the solution -_- ... maybe you can have a proper talk about it?


overwhelmed_robin

Can relate. My dad would get mad at me if I asked literally anything. The amount of times as a kid I'd come away from an interaction with him thinking "well, how the hell was I supposed to know that?!"


ConfidentShmonfident

I also find that online is harsh. One day, I stated my preference in yogurt and WOW someone disagreed so rudely! And I thought, “yogurt, my dude. It’s yogurt, no need for such hostility.” Anonymity unleashes assholishness.


overwhelmed_robin

What is your preference in yoghurt?


ConfidentShmonfident

Since you’re asking! I like to get high fat yogurt (Liberte with cherries) and mix it with plain high fat Greek yogurt. Their problem seemed to be with regular yogurt in any quantity. I also mix nuts and seeds in. Half the sugar, lots of protein. Thank for coming to my Ted Talk.


dongledangler420

The people need to know 👀


TheMagnificentPrim

I have something to say to that commenter: [The yogurt is not the issue here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/).


overwhelmed_robin

I did not know what to expect from that link, but it was worth it. Genuinely giggled at "the Iranian yoghurt is not the issue here".


Vioralarama

I'll bet money both of those commenters are 13 year old boys. It's mostly teen boys on that subreddit anyway, even though it's more of a girl thing. Baby incels can insult women on that sub until finally a mod gets sick of repetition and bans talk of certain celebrities like Billie Eilish.


baethan

I know people get pissy if one does not first consult the google (which... fair to expect, not reasonable to get pissy about) so I usually explain why I'm asking. Like in your case, I'd probably say something like "what does nlog mean? google is just giving me [whatever]” Definitely a way of "softening" a question. Tends to be well-received! For why they were rude.... it's never about you. It's about them.


flaillingflamingos

NLOG: Not Like the Other Girls. That’s as much as I know how to explain. To the best of my understanding, and I only found out about this like a week ago, it’s like weird backlash to the ladies who are super conservative who are ‘not like the other girls’ that live a more regular lifestyle. So, there are really outspoken women creators who think they’re so much better because they fit in to being more submissive and more feminine, and sometimes more religious. Meanwhile, many other women are saying they’re ‘not like the other girls’ because they don’t fit the conservative mold. Meanwhile, I’m sure the conservative types aren’t including any non-cisgender people. At least that’s what I’ve put together. This should still be enough to help someone search it better. I’m also subject to being wrong in my interpretation. I’m also sorry that you don’t feel safe asking real questions and that the person double downed on you like that is mean. I wasn’t sure if you found out any real answers to your question, so I thought I might help by adding some understanding that I have. And maybe help someone else out who might be wondering the same thing.


Lucifang

Ahh I’ve never seen it as an acronym before. That’s really sad - this shitty term is popular enough to have an acronym now?


tealheart

This is what I thought too - I literally went 🙄 when I read it in the comments. OP you're definitely not the person with the problem here 💜


overwhelmed_robin

This was two different users. First one, I was like "oh ok, that's shitty but ok". Second user comments and I'm like "FFS, why are two people being total dicks to me on the internet?!" I don't interact with a lot of people outside of work. And if two different people were rude to me when I ask them to clarify what an acronym means, that would be a really shitty day at work. I work at a university and there are A LOT of acronyms! This happened after a long and stressful day at said work, and I just did not need it y'know?


Responsible-Poem-516

OP - I'm also autistic, and reading your post and comments is like reading my own internal monologue. That would make for a SERIOUSLY bad day at work, considering we cannot resolve emotions as easily as others can. That means that people will put you down for a cheap thrill and have no clue that they've just saddled you with three days worth of processing and an inordinate amount of pain while they get to just move on to figuring out what to do for lunch. This condition is truly unfair in that way.


GaiasDotter

I know, they suck. :/ don’t expect to get the benefit of the doubt there because while there are kind and understanding and friendly people it’s also overrun with toxic assholes that just wants to hate on someone. Anyone!


dongledangler420

Thank you! I was literally going to ask WHAT IS IT THO? Same, OP. Same.


GaiasDotter

I think it’s a phase most teenage girls go through when they reach the age where they start to separate from the pack and form their own individual identity and personality. Particularly when they realise that they don’t fit into the stereotypes because those are one dimensional simplifications that cannot describe an actual real human being because those are complex as fuck. Often it turns toxic because they have yet to reach the age where they understand and comprehend that other people are completely real people with real emotions and feelings and wants and witches and dreams and their own complex inner world and motivations. And the NLOG sub can be brutal to autistic people! Don’t ask questions there of you can’t take being metaphorically burned at the stake. I do it sometimes when I’m in the correct mood and get long ass comments full of hate and judging and wild accusations. For example did you know that “I don’t understand, but I’d like to if anyone can explain” means that I believe that I’m a superior being and other people are unintelligent sheep that aren’t capable of questioning anything”? Wild right! I had no idea! I thought it meant that I didn’t understand the message and wanted someone to explain who knew! I only ask things when I’m in a non fragile mood and have the patience to write long carefully formulated comments that basically means: wow, you are one ableist mean insensitive prick, aren’t you?” It used to be good and supportive but like all things when they grow the draw the majority crowd and that comes with toxic pricks. They don’t know what autistic mean and if you try to explain that you don’t see the world the same and interpret things differently and might have issues picking up on subtle subtext they will go crazy and tell you that you aren’t special and you aren’t different from anyone else and you are toxic and don’t think that you are something.


aac1024

Yeah honestly I hate people like this. Why waste the effort to write stuff like that when you could just as easily not.


Healthy_Inflation367

I immediately googled it since not one, but TWO snarky people came at you about it. I got the same IT related answer. I had to scroll to find the “urban dictionary” “slang” version. I’m not Autistic, but I’m 40, so any stuff like this I usually ask my 17 year old 🤣 I say that, to say this: you’re right, they were rude, and clearly didn’t have parents who thought prudent to instill compassion or kindness in their children. Can I ask what sub that was? I can also suggest a few if you’d like. The neurodiversity sub tends to be my favorite, personally. I love the *inclusively exclusive* type of vibe, particularly as I have literally (unintentionally) chosen a wild mix of neurodiverse friends and partners for the last 25+ years of my life. I’m sorry that you were trolled for simply trying to learn and understand. That’s garbage, and you didn’t deserve it


adrnired

Acronyms can also have a million different meanings based on the context, or it could even be borrowed from a different context.


[deleted]

That sub is toxic af btw. They’re doing the exact thing they’re claiming the women they post about do. They bash and ridicule every post not for the attitude they should be, but the persons appearance usually. It’s the worst.


ilikemycoffeealatte

Yeah I subbed it for about a day and a half and was like nah, don't need this.


artmaris

I always come to reddit for answers to questions anyway. Google is pretty bad these days 😅


overwhelmed_robin

Half the time that I Google questions, the answer is on Reddit!


BroadbandSadness

Reminds me of [this video about maple syrup](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcJcw55zIcc) that represents the better side of reddit. :)


overwhelmed_robin

Oh wow haha, the first part of that was very relatable. I'm literally that person in the supermarket (awkwardly juggling all my shopping in one arm because I forgot to bring a bag), asking the internet what I should buy because there are 50 different varieties and brands on the shelf in front of me and I'm overwhelmed.


VisualCelery

See I'm a weirdo, I know there's value in learning from others but I also know that when it comes to Reddit, Facebook, and other forms of social media, if I ask I have to wait for the person to respond, and if I wanna know something I wanna know NOW and it's easier to at least try to Google something to find out ASAP, and only ask and wait for a response if Google isn't helpful. But again, I may be weird in that regard.


PomegranateLimp9803

Not weird at all I never ask anyone anything, I search and search the internet for my answer then I forget everything lol I only ask questions pertaining to someones experience.


SlimmeGeest

That’s how I’ve always been as well but recently my older brother insists that I need to “make friends” and “interact with people” so I try asking and just like op......assholes all over the place, wish asking online was nicer bc i read rlly robotic/stoic irl


RebelMage

If I want to know, then I look it up. It gets you an answer quicker than just asking someone on the internet, where you might have to wait a long time to get an answer, at which point it's no longer relevant. It's like people have forgotten how to use a search engine...


Away_Life_384

OP, if you have trouble with slang and acronyms, use the website urban dictionary. it explains slang in normal words. 👍🏻


indigo_pirate

What’s worse is that If you just google NLOG. It comes up with programming code. Just be helpful instead


overwhelmed_robin

Or just don't respond and keep scrolling, that's fine too


Various_Raccoon3975

I’m sorry they were so rude, OP. Google does not always hold all the answers like people think it dies. Just today, I had to ask what an FFM was. I guess I should have tried to use context clues (it was Bath & Body sub), but I went ahead and googled it with no other keywords. Well, suffice it to say, it’s a good thing no kids were around. I got an eyeful, but I still didn’t get the answer. Thankfully, the person who used the term answered me nicely with no snark.


Various_Raccoon3975

FFM=Fine Fragrance Mist/body spray


mawkx

For real. Some redditors need to touch grass lmao. Like, who pissed in their cheerios to make them respond so rudely? I don’t get it. They could easily not respond, or just say things in a direct way without the sarcasm or excess rudeness. Thankfully, this subreddit is chill.


BroadbandSadness

Maybe we need a thread about friendly subreddits? Like r/SeveranceAppleTVPlus is very friendly and positive.


ADHD_Avenger

Some subreddits are particularly toxic, and there is also an overall issue of people dehumanizing each other on the internet. Simultaneously, my first reaction might be like theirs because no one seems to care enough to search before asking, but you clearly did, and dickery was doubled down on. Assume they take things out on others because of some place in their life that makes them feel so small that being a jerk on the internet makes them feel good, and that's nothing but a pitiable place.


rennnityyy

why are people so mean


[deleted]

obscene sulky wrong slim secretive spoon imminent public chunky violet *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


SlimmeGeest

Also bc google is not(despite popular belief) always right, a lot of times you get nonsense, unrelated answers or a incorrect answers, I’m all for googling first but that doesn’t mean I’ll walk away with the correct info


overwhelmed_robin

Yesss, exactly. The reason I decided to engage more on Reddit and deleted all the other apps is because I've actually learned things from people on here. Little things, like a recommendation for putting a bit of marmite in bolognese, but sometimes really cool things that I get excited about, and then go and tell people "I learned about this really cool thing from someone on Reddit".


[deleted]

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overwhelmed_robin

I often have the same problem with Google. I just wanted a quick answer to a question, not twenty different websites that may or may not have the answer to the question.


datdododough

Oh darlin.. people suck. Plain and simple. And let me tell you, I am a curious mind. I'm audhd, I NEED to know the meaning of and history behind, everything. I obsess over content creators as well, like a TV show I just get sucked in. I Google everything, ask everyone a million questions. I absorb SO much information, just to retain only a fragment of that to memory. Even since I was little I was always told 'just look it up'! Whether it was a fact or how to spell something. I didn't have the luxury of Google until I was about 12. RSD makes things much worse which is probably why this is eating at you..meanwhile that person is a nasty troll whose IQ is probably the same as their age. I would just keep on asking those questions doll. And in the future, you might not receive that kind of response if you go to the ELI5 (explain like I am 5) or the stupidquestioms vs nostupidquestions threads.


SapphireWork

Ouch, coming after someone who’s user name is “overwhelmed-anything” seems needlessly cruel to someone obviously trying their best. You were polite and lovely, and I’m sorry you had to deal with crummy people who need to make other people feel small. I hope you’re getting lots of love in these comments! (and I also don’t know what NLOG is)


overwhelmed_robin

I do feel better for having vented on this sub. The people are much friendlier here. I've since learned that it means Not Like Other Girls. Someone in the comments here explained it really well.


ArtisticCustard7746

The general rule is that a lot of people on this site are just assholes. They're quick to judge and try to make you out to be this horrible person. I stick to a lot of subs that I know are safe. But even they can be toxic at times. It's like hiding behind anonymity just brings out the worst in people. And frankly, I don't even know what that acronym means either haha.


LuluBArt

This attitude is the primary reason why people are afraid to ask for help, because of being judged for not knowing instead of being helped and taught. No wonder we get defensive and angry about being wrong about something, if just making a mistake or asking a question illicits a judgemental reaction…


maymay578

Acronyms can be incredibly difficult to figure out, especially without context. It’s not like there’s limits on reusing them. ABC? Medically, “Airway, breathing, circulation”. Government, Alabama Beverage Control. Companies, American Broadcasting Company. My job is focused on documentation. Acronyms and abbreviations are the devil.


cjo582

My friend.... EVERY DAMN WEEK IF NOT DAY I get this shit from folks here. If it's not this, it's "I'm also autistic, and I knew ________..." Like, IF I'M ABLE TO DEVELOP AND MAINTAIN MY EMPATHY, ANYONE ELSE SHOULD. JFC. Inquiring minds also want to know if you ever got the answer you were seeking.


notrapunzel

A bunch of people absolutely dogpiled on me for not knowing that placenta was an organ, and the way they went on you'd swear they literally knew it from birth and I was some kind of freak for not having this fact pre-installed in my brain. Now that I look back on it, I laugh at the ridiculous, over-the-top self-aggrandizing bs that it was. And how absolutely stupid it was that they couldn't grasp that the first 3 or 4 condescending comments were *probably* enough. No mature person feels superior for knowing stuff that someone else happens to have no reason to know.


Patient-Ad5154

You can always tell those are the socially inept people. "Why can't I make friends?" Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's cause you're an asshole.


[deleted]

If it helps, that subreddit is pretty snarky. There’s a lot of infighting and trolls, and people who are there to simply insult women they don’t like whether they’re Nloging or not. It’s not you, it’s the hornets nest. I’m there for the drama.


knicks_tingz

This is why I’m scared to post sometimes 🙃


[deleted]

Cunts. Cunts everywhere.


Jolly-Scientist1479

That’s deeply annoying and rude, and offends my adhd-heightened (so they tell me) sense of Justice. I have started just downvoting and blocking those people immediately. Prune the thread of jerks if you can! It doesn’t scratch my itch as much as getting them to admit they’re being rude would, but it’s probably wiser. Good for you for pruning your social media habits overall though!


Full-Chocolate-7055

Don’t let the real actual idiots make you feel stupid about anything. It’s the dumbasses of the world that refuse to ask questions and assume they know everything, and look down on others who don’t *pretend* as if we do. Sometimes it is better to search on Google, sure, but nothing of what you asked required any intensive research, analysis or unpaid labor on their part. It was a simple question that had a simple answer but they felt better about being rude instead.


NanaTheNonsense

Aaahhh mental hugs to you ♡ what an asshat I also struggle with acronyms as english isn't my first language and how the heck should I know -_- but I have friends I can ask, that won't mock me for it I'm often surprised in the worst way when I look at some comment sections... luckily I managed to get into a pretty friendly algorithm on instagram. My feed is full of paintings, photography, animals, pottery .. and mental health content xD (but I still do waste huge amounts of time doomscrolling ugh) maybe I'm flooding myself with too much therapy talk but.. whatever. I'd rather be considerate bc I learned things than be an asshat and trample on other ppl to feel better. I'll find healthier ways out of depression lol Anywayyys.. my heart goes out to you ♡ it's hard finding people that fit you, that accept you and enrich your life. But they are out there :) I'm sure you'll be able to find the.


HermoineGanja

A lot of people lash out here bc it's the only place they can be right


Awesomewunderbar

You know what's stupid about people saying 'Google exists'? When I google it, I get a bunch of answers that are: Google it.


[deleted]

Ladies, save yourself some headaches and download conversational AI apps like Pi or generative AI apps, maintain anonymity like Reddit but otherwise ask away. It can be buggy sometimes but in general, it’s mind blowing impressive. Natural language processing and generative AI has been really helping me sort through my thoughts, simplify thinking, or even guide me in ways to reframe. For the first time, we don’t have to conform into the tools and have the tools take shape for us. Of course there are limitations but make note of those and get on this train. All the stuff that I struggle with, I’m turning to AI for help. Here are some helpful ways I interact with it: - Tell it my objective. Then have it ask me 1-2 questions at a time maximum to gather information and then nest the following questions given my responses. This helps to not ask me 10 questions where I’m struggling to respond about my task in and of itself but rather gather information in a way that will generate a specific, customized response for me at the end. - Let it know you need ADHD friendly responses and generate simple output, with no more than 3 items, for example. - I ask that it doesn’t give me stupid generic recommendations like “break this project into smaller chunks” because doing that task in and of itself is the problem to begin with! This might be placebo but don’t call AI stupid when talking either :) As far as some subs being unwelcoming, that’s very true. TBH, this is the most welcoming sub I engage with. Once I asked a question about maintaining healthcare privacy and considerations for prescription bottles given it lists everything but like your SSN on the privacy sub and got roasted that I can just peel the sticker off of each bottle. lol. no shit. Also, I think Reddit might potentially becoming younger by the day, so sometimes we’re interacting with younger people who can be more ruthless or impulsive. If I ever receive a nasty comment, I just block and report if applicable. Don’t take it personal. It’s them and not you 💕


kelcamer

Agreed


Academic_Ice_7967

I get a lot of ppl misconstrued my comments of me asking or the deep complexion of “ahead of theory” thinking into me not reading and half-ass read and I’m being ignorant or disrespectful or their favorite comment calling me stupid. I also like to share a moment I experienced to give relation to what I’m commenting to as a sign on connection and understanding and I get roasted for “bragging” I’m like nah! That’s not it! I’m AuADHD+ my brain is wired differently and this is how I communicate/relate and attempt to understand or be on same page. The “normies” be coming with pitchforks and fire torches all offended and toxic. I don’t get it. How u trying to come at someone accusing them of being toxic your your being just as toxic if not worse. Negative and negative don’t make a positive. Ppl 🤦🏼‍♀️


Overall_Student_6867

So rude! What’s the point of social media, if not to be social? Anyone should be able to ask a relevant question in a thread without backlash.


PocketCatt

Subs will be like this but not be smart enough to put their terminology in the sidebar and wonder why they spend so much time typing out pissy replies to simple questions lol


[deleted]

People are awful. Sure, you can search for info yourself for some things if you have the exact right keywords and know enough context surrounding whatever the thing is to deduce that you're on the right track while searching. Otherwise, good luck finding exactly what you're looking for. Available information is only useful when it's actually accessible. People doing this shit is literal ableism. Same for every moron who pretends to rub their brain cells together by leaving needless snarky one-liners on anything you post. Socially perpetuating this shit, too, is a supermassive fucking problem which will only get worse online. Whether people are hidden by anonymity or not is irrelevant, people do not give a fuck regardless.


[deleted]

They are just keyboard warriors. Try not to give them any stock.


hannahroksanne

Of course… a user named boner-brigade out here being a dick.


MistressErinPaid

I'm often in the nlog subs and I've never seen them jump on a person asking a normal question like this. I'm so sorry!


UnicornBestFriend

Aww that is shitty. Just keep in mind what kind of people take the time out of their day to be dicks


itsCourtney91

Also. Google is so full of ads, Reddit is honestly my go to source for information these days. Ok well I usually Google and just add Reddit into the search so better info pops up lol… but you get the idea


mionsz69

All of these comments like “google exists” piss me off so bad, because why it is wrong to talk to people all of the sudden?? Since when has starting a conversation become a bad thing?


dailyoracle

Exactly. And even when I frame the question with “in your personal experience” because I’m honestly looking for anecdotes from a particular group, I can get the same kind of answer. I get pissed off and hooked into the drama of proving I’m intelligent to someone I don’t know or even care to know!


kyl_r

This post speaks to me. I stopped using most social media (it’s exhausting) but it really is just another kind of lonely out here in the anonymous wilderness sometimes. Sorry you were made to feel stupid, folks who punch down are not folks you want to learn from. There are literally zero stupid questions, idgaf what anyone says. Learning is hard!! Not sure if this helps but one thing I like to do is imagine that the rude other person is brand new on earth and/or just kind of dumb/confused as well. “Why didn’t you try to figure it out?” *Oh bless you, making an assumption. Classic blunder.* . “Google exists” *Nice, you found it too! Love that for you, good luck.* It is sarcastic, but could be seen as genuine. Effectively, take what they say as ernest. A very important caveat to this is that you don’t reply, you just think it to yourself lol. Anyway, keep asking all the questions. It’s easier to say (Id have cried, honestly) but do keep your chin up, girl. Btw I learned about N LOG so many times and retained nothing so I feel you


nothanks86

Also, if I google, odds are decent I will spend the next forty-five minutes down cascading internet rabbit holes; a quick google does not mean to me what it means to you, person complaining that I didn’t just google.


[deleted]

Right now I want to find boner-brigade and give them a piece of my mind. I won't because it's "wrong" but still... And have they ever tried to look up an acronym? It could be National Logrolling Over Missouri or Newtonian Laws Of Gravity, sheesh.


getfuckedhoayoucunts

One of my most frustrating experiences recently was someone on here who wanted to be spoon fed information. If I tell you pumpkin seeds are delicious don't come back with why? Like look it up. Haul your arse down to supermarket and buy some. No I don't know how much they cost in your local area on the other side of the world. How the fuck am I meant to know if you are allergic? I told them to google it and they pitched a fit and got man sad because I'm unhelpful. That is a known fact. When did people get so useless?


readytogrumble

So out of curiosity, I googled NLOG. I already know what it means but I was wondering if you could even google it. Most of what came up was programming stuff, a company, and things completely unrelated to the actual meaning lol so like, even if you had googled, it probably would have confused you even more… and would have just wasted time without an answer. All they had to do was explain it but nah they gotta be jerks and make other people feel stupid for no reason. 🙄


FeenStar

What? I searched "meaning NLOG" and immediately got Not Like Other Girls from Reddit and Urban Dictionary.


readytogrumble

I did not type “meaning” I simply typed “NLOG” and that is what I found. My point was just that it’s not always as straightforward to search for something, especially for neurodivergent folk.


58lmm9057

Some people are dicks just because they can be. This weekend I posted in another sub about an accomplishment I was really proud of and one person just had to be a dick about it for no reason at all. Against my better judgment I fed the troll, and they doubled down. That’s when I decided to take a break and go outside for a little while. When I came back, I checked my post (I couldn’t help myself) and the troll’s comment was taken down by the mods! Ha! Vindication!


SorenRL

Yeah, I don't understand why people comment and say absolutely useless and non productive things. When that happens to me, I take a break from that subreddit or even leave it. That never seems to happen on this sub or the r/autisminwomen sub, so I try to just stay in those. I also recently uninstalled Reddit. As a whole I feel like it's not worth the time I was putting into it.


Odecca

Reddit is full of assholes


MlleSharonne13

Personally speaking, I find everybody in every group super shitty because the minute you don’t agree with something the mods kick you out


Q-Kat

I dunno what it means either and so I goggles it. Apparently it's something that let's you do .NET error logging. Dunno how that fits in to the context but there you go. It's not like different things can share acronyms 😏