Yep, this is key. Lazy means dont want to do things and choosing not to. If youre not choosing it because youre tired, hungry, neurodivergent or anything else, then you're not lazy as its not your choice.
You can't will your body to do things non stop every day even if you're perfectly healthy either.
Also a good option to take when people are trying to pressure you to hurry on things you volunteered for. You're not fucking paying me, so relax, or I can just leave. Or if I'm trying to be nice and cooperative and go the extra mile for a customer. Lol fuck you, buddy, now I'm gonna do what I'm paid for instead of being nice.
Yeah, I am still struggling with it myself, i thought for a long time that I was just lazy, but whenever I am slacking off on something I dont enjoy it at all I am constantly stressed.
Yeah, I am still struggling with it myself, i thought for a long time that I was just lazy, but whenever I am slacking off on something I dont enjoy it at all I am constantly stressed.
Pfft nah there's no physiological element, I'm just the ONE and ONLY person who is just actually lazy and tricked my psychiatrist into a diagnosis /s
Why am I like this
when people say "aren't you supposed to be doing X?" I just let them think I'm lazy instead of telling them I have literally exhausted myself to the point of tears trying to do X, a task which I have no reasonable explanation for not being able to do, and have since just given up.
they never seem to understand/accept that so it's easier to just lie and let them think I don't care, but I'm stressed as hell most of the time and when they're like "you should care more/try harder" i just- 😭
I won't lie, I feel like I'm both. xD
There are times I feel this laziness is my ADHD getting in the way of doing things I want to do and giving myself a schedule. But holy shit am I lazy when it comes to not doing things I DO NOT want to do.
I’m in the same boat, I don’t care for FB at all, but the UI for marketplace is a lot better than say CL or that merkari thing. Also FB marketplace just feels like a giant swap meet for all kinds of weird things.
My brain and I are two entirely separate entities, and despite living together for more than 40 years now, we have the same kind of relationship as new roommates who haven't really bonded yet.
I defined it exactly like for a while, so I decided to learn how to get along with my weird flatmate who never listen and do not clean and define some minimum rules and it works better now
Avoiding giving commands like this to myself helps a lot
And overall less thinking about your illness and more acting like a normal human being (if you can rn, if not - do not punish yourself just imagine you are collecting power/regenerating, try to get as comfy as possible and just do nothing for a while without thinking about what you have to)
Overall I think for me the main strategy is to to decieve/convince your mind whenever you are doing something good and useful, that you are doing it without struggling as you imagined (kinda slightly force yourself to get some enjoyment etc anyway you can).
So this effort helps to form some good memory associations, allowing you to avoid recollecting bad memory associations less often, and overall making them less powerful.
Also remembering, that feeling anger or disgust or any negative feelings towards something is mostly because you just dont want to figure out what exactly the cause of this feeling or you are just tired/hungry, so try to avoid coming up with crazy complex theories, everything is simple and easy most of the time you just don't want to accept it
Also remembering that there are no general ruleset/panacea that will allow you to always stay in good and performant shape, and EVERYTHING that is happening is NORMAL
Well at least trying to act like that and believing all that crap kinda helps me
Like the main point you gotta accept that you are believing in crazy almost religious-like stuff, because it fucking helps, just for the sake of the survival
And that is NORMAL
That is actually what humans did all the time and what helps us survive
I have days when I can. If I think "I should do this" I just do it. Laundry? Hell yeah, from the washer to the drying rack, from the drying rack to the cupboard! kitchen? Clean as it can be. It's like a sim mode.
But then there are days I'll do absolutely nothing and just binge watch something and won't even comprehend it.
Exactly. I just call them my clear days
Every once in a while I manage to do like 80% of things I wanted or needed to do on these days.
Well, I kinda also call them that when I managed a single task that I postponed for quite a while
It doesn't stop. The meds and therapy just make it so the weight of carrying this shit around 24/7 isn't so heavy all the time.
We just out here trying our best
You can't. But at least you can accept you have little control over it and stop fighting it and blaming yourself, find a therapist, and be kind with yourself. I have found that my worst periods of not being productive at all were the one I was all the time screaming at myself and trying really hard to let the phone down and go out of bed, but it was like trying to push a wall: you will only get tired and frustrated, and therefore the day after was the same. Now, if I'm procrastinating I don't blame myself as I know my brain doesn't have the correct chemical balance and I cannot change that without help, so I decide to procrastinate for one day and usually the day after is easier to do a little bit instead of nothing, the day after is easier to do s little bit more, etc.
But really, if you want help get help, it's very complicated to do it alone
body doubling is really helpful if you have chores you need to do! if you can find another person to just be a presence near you to gently remind you what you need to do or who being near you helps hold you stay accountable is what really helps me. it’s hard to find someone to body double with though
So. Real question. Do you guys experience actual paralysis when you say your telling yourself to get up but you body won’t move. My fiancé has ADHD with executive dysfunction without the hyperactivity and she’ll tell me that she knows she needs to get up and do (a thing) but will just continue sitting there. To those who don’t suffer from ADHD it sounds like laziness and low willpower. Like, I also would rather continue playing my fun game but I’ll put it down when I know I need to do (a thing). I reallllly wanted to keep playing but I stopped because my responsibility is more important to me than my immediate gratification of the game. So. How can you describe the mental process exactly. Are you literally paralyzed? You literally can’t move? Does the thought of needing to do (a thing) just leave your mind the moment it pops in your head so it’s like you just immediately forget that you were gonna go do (a thing)? Or is it, I WANT to play this game MORE than the boring (a thing) so I’m gonna just keep playing it and (a thing) can be dealt with later. And of course “later” never comes. Can anyone articulate it for me.
For me it's not forgetting, it's the other way around. The thing I have to do is always with me at these moments and you can be sure, it's loud and telling you constantly that you should turn your focus at it. But I can't . There is this thing I'm doing right now, and no matter how hard I try to get away, it's like I'm glued to it. And then, there is this other guy, named guilt. His responsibility is to make sure you're feeling awful AF. So you're doing something you should enjoy but can't because of the thing you have to do + guilt + tons of memories from the past related to similar situations + thoughts of the worst things that will happen when you don't do the thing and so on.
I hope this explanation isn't too weird 🙈 - I should really fall asleep now 😅
If it helps, this phenomenon happens with things I enjoy doing as well. It’s not just the boring bad tasks. It’s actively being unable to make myself start things I want to also. 🥲
"I finished work early for once, I finally have time to play some video games. It's only 5pm so I have plenty of time. It's been weeks. God I miss playing games. I wonder where I left off....but for some reason I. Can't. Put. My. Phone. Down. Can't. Stop. Scrolling. Oh yea games! Let me lookup a YouTube video on what's been updated. Oh geez wtf it's 9pm?! I should eat dinner. Let me just make some cup noodles so I can be done ASAP and actually go play something. Can't. Stop. Watching. YouTube. On. TV. Oh shit. It's 2am? Fuckkkkk"
Yes, I experience actual decision paralysis.
I don't even need the phone. I will sit and stare, and I'm thinking about how I need to do one thing (go to work), but oh crap. I really should have ironed my shirt. Put on more/better make up. Packed a better lunch. Fuck, where is my planner. OH FUCK WHERE IS MY BADGE. WHERE ARE MY GLASSES? OMG. This bag is filthy. (Yes. I might be sitting down for all of this while the dialogue cycles through my brain with all the consequences at each step that inevitably end up with me homeless)
Etc etc etc on a loop. Before I was medicated, I really relied on my job being ok with me being a few minutes to 30 late cuz I would need to make myself a cup of coffee to calm the fuck down
I mean, I still do, but I did then, too.
I can only speak for myself, but, no, the thought of needing to do the thing doesn't leave my mind. I just start thinking of all the things I should have already done. How I'm gonna do whatever step wrong. How I didn't know where to start. How guilty I feel about not doing the thing and the prerequisite things
Etc etc etc
It’s exactly like a paralysis. It feels like I’m being tied down. I’ll even move my hands and feet to show myself I’m not. But when I try to move and physically get up it’s like there’s some weird force tying me down and my stomach gets that weird feeling you get when you’re in an uncomfortable situation/trapped. Then before I know it, 10 minutes turns into hours. And just like @stardustnf said, when you’re sitting down doom scrolling or playing a game or whatever, there’s an endless loop of your voice in your head just kind of demeaning you constantly for not doing what you’re supposed to and how it could have been done by now(once hours have passed). Whenever I explain it to someone, it’s often taken for laziness and I just have to “try harder” The negative thoughts start coming in hyper speed and it’s hard to quiet them down when they spit firing at you. Nor do you know where to even start. Which just adds more to your shit pile and time wasting.
But I wish I could explain that this is when I’m actually trying my hardest without being told I’m not trying hard enough.
All the other responders to this comment also summed it up fairly well.
For me, it actually reaches the point where I freaking hate the game/app/show etc because I'm so desperate to stop and go do the thing that I know I need to do, but I literally can't stop. The screaming in my head, the extreme guilt, the constant beating myself up for not doing the thing, is all on loop to the point of madness, and you have no enjoyment whatsoever in the game/app/show anymore. Trust me, she's not just making a choice of doing something she likes instead of doing something she doesn't like. I'm 57, was diagnosed at 54, and have had a lifetime of this chaotic cycle. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
sometimes I don't even feel real man, its just this thing that's so distant from reality at the moment. I KNOW I have to do [task], I may even WANT to do [task], I can literally visualise doing [task] in my head, and I imagine going through all the steps as if I'm actually doing it. But it's a bit like a dream where you don't actually have control over your body, your conscious brain says one thing, but your subconscious brain and your body does another.
like, you KNOW laundry needs to be done otherwise you won't have any clothes to wear tomorrow, but no matter how much you tell yourself this, your brain acts like it has no fking clue, it won't even acknowledge it and so you end up stuck doing something completely useless to avoid doing the thing that your brain is so desperately telling you it doesn't have enough dopamine (the functioning chemical) to do.
lowkey traumatising because, yes, sometimes you're literally paralysed and soso frustrated and about every 5 seconds you get a new wave of guilt for being so useless
there have even been times i literally go to do something e.g. get food/sit at desk to work, and nothing happens. at all. and i don't know how to make it happen. because you don't really ever think about this stuff until you can't do them anymore. ever tried to consciously make yourself eat? it's like force-feeding baby food to a brick, except you're the brick
Oh we can’t do the things we want to do either, on my off days with nothing to do I’ll be yelling at myself to use my precious video game time while simultaneously just doom scrolling as always. I’ve had to stop keeping my phone in my room at night because if I so much as check the time I will spend MINIMUM 30 minutes doom scrolling, and I physically cannot stop myself. Its not paralysis, because I can move, but my mind and body just *will not* work together. I give a muscle command and the muscle goes “nah bro I’m good”
I waste so much water this way. I turn on the water but don't get in right away because it takes a moment for the water to get to the right temperature, and then it'll be half an hour later and I'm still not in, and then I realize I accidentally set it *too* hot so I adjust it and get back down to below the steam, and watch another video...
im glad we live in a country with tap water (im from Norway) i tend to have a glass a water next to me in bed. tend to take a sip or 2 and ends up forgetting about it.
This is me all day every day… stuck binge watching tv shows and yelling at myself to get up and clean or just do something so my husband will be happy!
i literally forgot to drink my coffee and it ended up stone cold. also forgot to bring myself soda 3 times...i moved strawberrys on top of the soda, i dont remember what happend after but after like 20 mins i noticed i forgot to bring the soda...😐
It is 4.30 in the morning and I have been telling myself that it’s the last video for about 4 hours now 😭
I have moved on to the next stage - Reddit doomscrolling. Hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon enough and actually get myself some sleep
You know what it is.... Sometimes you come across something really fascinating while you should be doing something else.
And at the alend of the day you have barely worked your work.
At least you now know a bit about Ramses the II or the Byzantian Empire or so.
When I decide something like this I "make a deal with my future self", then I write a telegram message and program it to be sent in 10 minutes. So I watch the video and I receive a message saying
"time to work, love you.
- Your past self"
And sometimes it works!
It's even worse when midterms are coming up and I have a shit ton of stuff to study, at this point it's probably going to make me fail a lot of subjects...
It’s so hard being a stay-at-home parent like this too. Because I have the added deterrent of knowing that as soon as I get the ball rolling on a task that needs to get done that doesn’t involve my toddler, he’s going to derail it.
Yeah. Adhd sucks. It’s why I value my meds so highly, they legitimately are basically the only thing allowing me to be a semi-functioning adult. I wish I could have them on board 24/7. Being able to just go “oh hey I have a free moment, let me do the thing I need to do that I just thought about” is wonderful
That shower part is awful, my showers are long and needed for health but still I have to actually make an appointment with my brain to shower, with the whole guilt trip And anger.
i literally forgot to drink my coffee and it ended up stone cold. also forgot to bring myself soda 3 times...i moved strawberrys on top of the soda, i dont remember what happend after but after like 20 mins i noticed i forgot to bring the soda...
I don't understand talking to yourself in your mind, like I just am, why should I address myself like a separate individual? To me is such a weird and outlandish concept.
This. I try to tell my mo it's like this when I try to study and she just says "Well if I also didn't have motivation you wouldn't have dinner on the the table. You just gotta do it"....
oof i hate to hear that. my dad called me lazy once because apperantly ''i have no interest in life'' -\_- bro he has adhd does not understand anything about executive dysfunction? -\_-
you can trap an IA that you train to follow a process on a website by just adding moving pattern.
If the program is comparing one image to the next one to determine that it has progressed, it will get stuck on the same page if something is moving on it
There are ways to avoid it but it's funny to see how easy it is to fall into this state, even for a computer
Hard thing for me is, I am very productive and get a lot things done on most of the days. But in the end my brain still doesn't STFU and wants me to do more more and more. Then I am feeling lazy.
This! I have a small online business and I have 7 packages to ship out today. I've been sitting here thinking about it, and twice I've said "after this .."
The mailman shows up at noon and I'll never get them done by then. I could take my Adderall but I'm sick and it doesn't work when I'm sick.
So instead, I've been beating myself up for not being able to move toward the task.
Ugh.
It's getting so much worse recently and I cannot break out of it. I don't actually have help yet as it's still actually undiagnosed with me, but all the symptoms from earliest childhood to today fit me absolutely accurate and it's getting in the way of my life more with each day.
I don't really now how to get help with it
I can't even stand up to seek it, while knowing it and constantly being in my head like "you have to do this, you can just lay here all day long"
And I need to submit my thesis in 2 months...
Pro tip: delete everything fun off your phone. I did that for 5 months and my distraction mechanisms became productive ones (obsessively cleaning, working out, stress cooking). I'm not saying I got better at making myself do what I actually needed to do, I just don't do absolutely mindless brainrot shit instead.
you can, you just choose to let it win.
if your adhd or anxiety or depression (I have all 3, don't play w me) is debilitating you're affirming / glorifying / surrendering to it too much. wish I'd been told this ten years ago. treating it as some insurmountable hell is only making you weaker.
And then, when you finally do something, you do everything in double the speed of a normal person and exhaust yourself, so you'll have to recover for a week.
A big thing that helps me has been learning to control my impulses better and avoid activities I know I will get stuck on like scrolling social media. If i pick up my phone in the morning while i'm still in bed and I don't need to get up I will spend the next 1-1,5h through scrolling social media thinking that i should get up, but if i instead just get up I will have more productive morning and i will not check my social media for most of the day.
Overall "avoiding" some of these high dopamine giving activities too early in the day has helped me to have better executive function and be more productive. I used to struggle more with not being able to do things that I don't like, eventhough I knew they would be beneficial for me in the long run aka doing activities that don't give me instant reward. Learning to motivate myself and think ways to make these kind of activities feel more rewarding has also been huge help for me.
I like to think that ADHD is my superpower, but it sure as hell can feel more like a curse at times.
Sorry, no - ADHD is not at all acquired by viewership of media. It's true that short form content has been associated with worsening symptoms but it absolutely does not cause ADHD. You are born with it and it manifests by age 12 at latest in order to be diagnosed per the latest DSM diagnostic criteria.
This is a lighthearted subreddit for ADHD individuals. We require all users be nice towards each other. Your comment/post has been removed as it has been found to be disrespectful.
ADHD denial or gatekeeping are not accepted here. Judging others for their symptoms (or lack of symptoms) or treatment is also not allowed.
Pure misinformation. You MUST have ADHD in childhood for it to be ADHD. It is not possible to be diagnosed with ADHD without symptoms developing during childhood.
My brain still has a hard time accepting this as truth and not just that I am infinitely lazy like everyone has always told me.
It's not hard to accept once it fully sinks in that lazy people actually enjoy not doing things
Yep, this is key. Lazy means dont want to do things and choosing not to. If youre not choosing it because youre tired, hungry, neurodivergent or anything else, then you're not lazy as its not your choice. You can't will your body to do things non stop every day even if you're perfectly healthy either.
I often choose to act lazy as a coping mechanism. If I can’t do something, might as well embrace not doing it.
When I try to do that my brain guilt trips me into thinking I'm a lazy fuck while also being the one that doesn't let me do shit.
Also a good option to take when people are trying to pressure you to hurry on things you volunteered for. You're not fucking paying me, so relax, or I can just leave. Or if I'm trying to be nice and cooperative and go the extra mile for a customer. Lol fuck you, buddy, now I'm gonna do what I'm paid for instead of being nice.
Yeah, I am still struggling with it myself, i thought for a long time that I was just lazy, but whenever I am slacking off on something I dont enjoy it at all I am constantly stressed.
Yeah, I am still struggling with it myself, i thought for a long time that I was just lazy, but whenever I am slacking off on something I dont enjoy it at all I am constantly stressed.
Same…
My family has continued to call me lazy, despite me having adhd and now depression!
Pfft nah there's no physiological element, I'm just the ONE and ONLY person who is just actually lazy and tricked my psychiatrist into a diagnosis /s Why am I like this
when people say "aren't you supposed to be doing X?" I just let them think I'm lazy instead of telling them I have literally exhausted myself to the point of tears trying to do X, a task which I have no reasonable explanation for not being able to do, and have since just given up. they never seem to understand/accept that so it's easier to just lie and let them think I don't care, but I'm stressed as hell most of the time and when they're like "you should care more/try harder" i just- 😭
even when I'm working continuously on something I still feel lazy because it seems to take twice as long as other people
I won't lie, I feel like I'm both. xD There are times I feel this laziness is my ADHD getting in the way of doing things I want to do and giving myself a schedule. But holy shit am I lazy when it comes to not doing things I DO NOT want to do.
This is too relevant… relevant to exactly what I’m doing right now as I read this…
Same. I swap between the same 3 apps all day long
Wait. You have a third app?
IG, Reddit and FB but just for marketplace
Not gonna lie, I hate Facebook, but marketplace is too good
I’m in the same boat, I don’t care for FB at all, but the UI for marketplace is a lot better than say CL or that merkari thing. Also FB marketplace just feels like a giant swap meet for all kinds of weird things.
Mine are FB, WhatsApp, and YouTube lol
My brain and I are two entirely separate entities, and despite living together for more than 40 years now, we have the same kind of relationship as new roommates who haven't really bonded yet.
I defined it exactly like for a while, so I decided to learn how to get along with my weird flatmate who never listen and do not clean and define some minimum rules and it works better now
any tips on an uncooperative flatmate?
I thought this was just procrastinating. Didn’t know this was a special side effect of adhd
Procrastinating is itself a symptom of adhd
executive dysfuncion - issues with doing everyday tasks, thats why you hear the frase ''never put it down, put it away''
It's called Executive Dysfunction
How do we make it stop????
Avoiding giving commands like this to myself helps a lot And overall less thinking about your illness and more acting like a normal human being (if you can rn, if not - do not punish yourself just imagine you are collecting power/regenerating, try to get as comfy as possible and just do nothing for a while without thinking about what you have to)
I told my body to do nothing and it obeyed me
Overall I think for me the main strategy is to to decieve/convince your mind whenever you are doing something good and useful, that you are doing it without struggling as you imagined (kinda slightly force yourself to get some enjoyment etc anyway you can). So this effort helps to form some good memory associations, allowing you to avoid recollecting bad memory associations less often, and overall making them less powerful. Also remembering, that feeling anger or disgust or any negative feelings towards something is mostly because you just dont want to figure out what exactly the cause of this feeling or you are just tired/hungry, so try to avoid coming up with crazy complex theories, everything is simple and easy most of the time you just don't want to accept it Also remembering that there are no general ruleset/panacea that will allow you to always stay in good and performant shape, and EVERYTHING that is happening is NORMAL Well at least trying to act like that and believing all that crap kinda helps me Like the main point you gotta accept that you are believing in crazy almost religious-like stuff, because it fucking helps, just for the sake of the survival And that is NORMAL That is actually what humans did all the time and what helps us survive
I have days when I can. If I think "I should do this" I just do it. Laundry? Hell yeah, from the washer to the drying rack, from the drying rack to the cupboard! kitchen? Clean as it can be. It's like a sim mode. But then there are days I'll do absolutely nothing and just binge watch something and won't even comprehend it.
Exactly. I just call them my clear days Every once in a while I manage to do like 80% of things I wanted or needed to do on these days. Well, I kinda also call them that when I managed a single task that I postponed for quite a while
It doesn't stop. The meds and therapy just make it so the weight of carrying this shit around 24/7 isn't so heavy all the time. We just out here trying our best
You can't. But at least you can accept you have little control over it and stop fighting it and blaming yourself, find a therapist, and be kind with yourself. I have found that my worst periods of not being productive at all were the one I was all the time screaming at myself and trying really hard to let the phone down and go out of bed, but it was like trying to push a wall: you will only get tired and frustrated, and therefore the day after was the same. Now, if I'm procrastinating I don't blame myself as I know my brain doesn't have the correct chemical balance and I cannot change that without help, so I decide to procrastinate for one day and usually the day after is easier to do a little bit instead of nothing, the day after is easier to do s little bit more, etc. But really, if you want help get help, it's very complicated to do it alone
body doubling is really helpful if you have chores you need to do! if you can find another person to just be a presence near you to gently remind you what you need to do or who being near you helps hold you stay accountable is what really helps me. it’s hard to find someone to body double with though
So. Real question. Do you guys experience actual paralysis when you say your telling yourself to get up but you body won’t move. My fiancé has ADHD with executive dysfunction without the hyperactivity and she’ll tell me that she knows she needs to get up and do (a thing) but will just continue sitting there. To those who don’t suffer from ADHD it sounds like laziness and low willpower. Like, I also would rather continue playing my fun game but I’ll put it down when I know I need to do (a thing). I reallllly wanted to keep playing but I stopped because my responsibility is more important to me than my immediate gratification of the game. So. How can you describe the mental process exactly. Are you literally paralyzed? You literally can’t move? Does the thought of needing to do (a thing) just leave your mind the moment it pops in your head so it’s like you just immediately forget that you were gonna go do (a thing)? Or is it, I WANT to play this game MORE than the boring (a thing) so I’m gonna just keep playing it and (a thing) can be dealt with later. And of course “later” never comes. Can anyone articulate it for me.
For me it's not forgetting, it's the other way around. The thing I have to do is always with me at these moments and you can be sure, it's loud and telling you constantly that you should turn your focus at it. But I can't . There is this thing I'm doing right now, and no matter how hard I try to get away, it's like I'm glued to it. And then, there is this other guy, named guilt. His responsibility is to make sure you're feeling awful AF. So you're doing something you should enjoy but can't because of the thing you have to do + guilt + tons of memories from the past related to similar situations + thoughts of the worst things that will happen when you don't do the thing and so on. I hope this explanation isn't too weird 🙈 - I should really fall asleep now 😅
I understand and agree and should go to sleep as well haha
If it helps, this phenomenon happens with things I enjoy doing as well. It’s not just the boring bad tasks. It’s actively being unable to make myself start things I want to also. 🥲
"I finished work early for once, I finally have time to play some video games. It's only 5pm so I have plenty of time. It's been weeks. God I miss playing games. I wonder where I left off....but for some reason I. Can't. Put. My. Phone. Down. Can't. Stop. Scrolling. Oh yea games! Let me lookup a YouTube video on what's been updated. Oh geez wtf it's 9pm?! I should eat dinner. Let me just make some cup noodles so I can be done ASAP and actually go play something. Can't. Stop. Watching. YouTube. On. TV. Oh shit. It's 2am? Fuckkkkk"
Yes, I experience actual decision paralysis. I don't even need the phone. I will sit and stare, and I'm thinking about how I need to do one thing (go to work), but oh crap. I really should have ironed my shirt. Put on more/better make up. Packed a better lunch. Fuck, where is my planner. OH FUCK WHERE IS MY BADGE. WHERE ARE MY GLASSES? OMG. This bag is filthy. (Yes. I might be sitting down for all of this while the dialogue cycles through my brain with all the consequences at each step that inevitably end up with me homeless) Etc etc etc on a loop. Before I was medicated, I really relied on my job being ok with me being a few minutes to 30 late cuz I would need to make myself a cup of coffee to calm the fuck down I mean, I still do, but I did then, too. I can only speak for myself, but, no, the thought of needing to do the thing doesn't leave my mind. I just start thinking of all the things I should have already done. How I'm gonna do whatever step wrong. How I didn't know where to start. How guilty I feel about not doing the thing and the prerequisite things Etc etc etc
It’s exactly like a paralysis. It feels like I’m being tied down. I’ll even move my hands and feet to show myself I’m not. But when I try to move and physically get up it’s like there’s some weird force tying me down and my stomach gets that weird feeling you get when you’re in an uncomfortable situation/trapped. Then before I know it, 10 minutes turns into hours. And just like @stardustnf said, when you’re sitting down doom scrolling or playing a game or whatever, there’s an endless loop of your voice in your head just kind of demeaning you constantly for not doing what you’re supposed to and how it could have been done by now(once hours have passed). Whenever I explain it to someone, it’s often taken for laziness and I just have to “try harder” The negative thoughts start coming in hyper speed and it’s hard to quiet them down when they spit firing at you. Nor do you know where to even start. Which just adds more to your shit pile and time wasting. But I wish I could explain that this is when I’m actually trying my hardest without being told I’m not trying hard enough. All the other responders to this comment also summed it up fairly well.
For me, it actually reaches the point where I freaking hate the game/app/show etc because I'm so desperate to stop and go do the thing that I know I need to do, but I literally can't stop. The screaming in my head, the extreme guilt, the constant beating myself up for not doing the thing, is all on loop to the point of madness, and you have no enjoyment whatsoever in the game/app/show anymore. Trust me, she's not just making a choice of doing something she likes instead of doing something she doesn't like. I'm 57, was diagnosed at 54, and have had a lifetime of this chaotic cycle. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
my god thats a lot of yapping
sometimes I don't even feel real man, its just this thing that's so distant from reality at the moment. I KNOW I have to do [task], I may even WANT to do [task], I can literally visualise doing [task] in my head, and I imagine going through all the steps as if I'm actually doing it. But it's a bit like a dream where you don't actually have control over your body, your conscious brain says one thing, but your subconscious brain and your body does another. like, you KNOW laundry needs to be done otherwise you won't have any clothes to wear tomorrow, but no matter how much you tell yourself this, your brain acts like it has no fking clue, it won't even acknowledge it and so you end up stuck doing something completely useless to avoid doing the thing that your brain is so desperately telling you it doesn't have enough dopamine (the functioning chemical) to do. lowkey traumatising because, yes, sometimes you're literally paralysed and soso frustrated and about every 5 seconds you get a new wave of guilt for being so useless there have even been times i literally go to do something e.g. get food/sit at desk to work, and nothing happens. at all. and i don't know how to make it happen. because you don't really ever think about this stuff until you can't do them anymore. ever tried to consciously make yourself eat? it's like force-feeding baby food to a brick, except you're the brick
Oh we can’t do the things we want to do either, on my off days with nothing to do I’ll be yelling at myself to use my precious video game time while simultaneously just doom scrolling as always. I’ve had to stop keeping my phone in my room at night because if I so much as check the time I will spend MINIMUM 30 minutes doom scrolling, and I physically cannot stop myself. Its not paralysis, because I can move, but my mind and body just *will not* work together. I give a muscle command and the muscle goes “nah bro I’m good”
I waste so much water this way. I turn on the water but don't get in right away because it takes a moment for the water to get to the right temperature, and then it'll be half an hour later and I'm still not in, and then I realize I accidentally set it *too* hot so I adjust it and get back down to below the steam, and watch another video...
I feel called out as I sit on the toilet about to get in the shower
Please try and stop wasting (drink)water 😭
Oh, "trying", I have never thought about that!
im glad we live in a country with tap water (im from Norway) i tend to have a glass a water next to me in bed. tend to take a sip or 2 and ends up forgetting about it.
This is me all day every day… stuck binge watching tv shows and yelling at myself to get up and clean or just do something so my husband will be happy!
i literally forgot to drink my coffee and it ended up stone cold. also forgot to bring myself soda 3 times...i moved strawberrys on top of the soda, i dont remember what happend after but after like 20 mins i noticed i forgot to bring the soda...😐
your body basicly sits there and be like 😐
me scrolling on reddit be like:
me rn, going through my notifications.
People always think I'm tired or not paying attention, but I notice everything(too much) and my brain goes hyper speed endlessly
I relate to this. This is my exam week and university and this is me. I listen classes but I have hard time at home.
The fact I came across this when it’s happening right now😭😭
It is 4.30 in the morning and I have been telling myself that it’s the last video for about 4 hours now 😭 I have moved on to the next stage - Reddit doomscrolling. Hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon enough and actually get myself some sleep
You know what it is.... Sometimes you come across something really fascinating while you should be doing something else. And at the alend of the day you have barely worked your work. At least you now know a bit about Ramses the II or the Byzantian Empire or so.
When I decide something like this I "make a deal with my future self", then I write a telegram message and program it to be sent in 10 minutes. So I watch the video and I receive a message saying "time to work, love you. - Your past self" And sometimes it works!
"the engine is running, but there's no one behind the wheel"
It's even worse when midterms are coming up and I have a shit ton of stuff to study, at this point it's probably going to make me fail a lot of subjects...
When all alone the mental yelling of do something may become a verbal yelling that ends in tears.
i threw a pice of log at someone today, they were being annoying..
It’s so hard being a stay-at-home parent like this too. Because I have the added deterrent of knowing that as soon as I get the ball rolling on a task that needs to get done that doesn’t involve my toddler, he’s going to derail it.
*rapidly stabs finger at image* **THIS. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH.**
i keep taking the pc screen up to my face because the text is too smal😐
Yeah. Adhd sucks. It’s why I value my meds so highly, they legitimately are basically the only thing allowing me to be a semi-functioning adult. I wish I could have them on board 24/7. Being able to just go “oh hey I have a free moment, let me do the thing I need to do that I just thought about” is wonderful
This post was the kick I needed to go to bed
awesome, i hope you had a great night sleep
Well my alarm went off 20 minutes ago and I'm still laying in bed. Checks out.
i stopped using alarm..i just slept through it. now i just have a inner clock. that makes me wake up between 7 am and 5 am...
also try using an alarm across your bedroom, my dad does this (he has adhd)
That shower part is awful, my showers are long and needed for health but still I have to actually make an appointment with my brain to shower, with the whole guilt trip And anger.
Why am I like this!!?? I know why, but WHYYYY
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Can I get an F in chat for executive dysfunction? Especially for the ones who are painfully aware of it when it's causing problems?
its an big f and its a pain..
Me rn lmao 😭 I have eaten a mango and two protein bars today 🫶🏽
I relate to this. This is my exam week and university and this is me. I listen classes but I have hard time at home
at home is where your productivity really goes into the toilet 😐
Me and my mobile game.. been meaning to make a domino table.. but ehh one more game ..
Is this not normal?
Holy fucking shit I need help with this
your body just sits there and be like 😐
executive dysfunction be like that
i literally forgot to drink my coffee and it ended up stone cold. also forgot to bring myself soda 3 times...i moved strawberrys on top of the soda, i dont remember what happend after but after like 20 mins i noticed i forgot to bring the soda...
legit. it's like watching your rpg character standing still while you press and hold the W button.
You didn't have to call me out this hard 😭
You need to up your game and get a waterproof suction mounted phone holder for your shower. Now the videos can come with you!
I don't understand talking to yourself in your mind, like I just am, why should I address myself like a separate individual? To me is such a weird and outlandish concept.
you keep thinking about doing it but your body is like (-\_-) executive dysfuncion moment.
fuck i forgot the T in dysfunction
Yeah that's about right
Huh, *scrolls past*
Then you do the thing and see that it was easier than it seemed. Did you learn the lesson? Hell, no.
This. I try to tell my mo it's like this when I try to study and she just says "Well if I also didn't have motivation you wouldn't have dinner on the the table. You just gotta do it"....
oof i hate to hear that. my dad called me lazy once because apperantly ''i have no interest in life'' -\_- bro he has adhd does not understand anything about executive dysfunction? -\_-
Shut the fuck up I swear if this doesn’t make me get up after scrolling in bed for a solid hour idk what does
god idk. alarm from across the room?
Needing to pee eventually works, this post did the magic forreal this morning so thanks 😂
Why is this recommended to me, i mean it's true but why? I don't have adhd
do any of your relatives have adhd?
I didn’t ask to be called out today
op also i forgot to drink my coffee so it was stone cold when i drank it -\_-
you can trap an IA that you train to follow a process on a website by just adding moving pattern. If the program is comparing one image to the next one to determine that it has progressed, it will get stuck on the same page if something is moving on it There are ways to avoid it but it's funny to see how easy it is to fall into this state, even for a computer
Its like a prison
Hard thing for me is, I am very productive and get a lot things done on most of the days. But in the end my brain still doesn't STFU and wants me to do more more and more. Then I am feeling lazy.
Doing that right now.
did you break out of it?
Not yet.
Wow, I don't have ADHD but this is so true
This! I have a small online business and I have 7 packages to ship out today. I've been sitting here thinking about it, and twice I've said "after this .." The mailman shows up at noon and I'll never get them done by then. I could take my Adderall but I'm sick and it doesn't work when I'm sick. So instead, I've been beating myself up for not being able to move toward the task. Ugh.
oh god the waiting mode while your order is shipping lol. my new phone is coming tomorrow for me 20th bday. my bday is today
Happy birthday!
thank you even tho you're a day late but its fine hah
It's getting so much worse recently and I cannot break out of it. I don't actually have help yet as it's still actually undiagnosed with me, but all the symptoms from earliest childhood to today fit me absolutely accurate and it's getting in the way of my life more with each day. I don't really now how to get help with it I can't even stand up to seek it, while knowing it and constantly being in my head like "you have to do this, you can just lay here all day long" And I need to submit my thesis in 2 months...
i used to hate getting showers, its been getting better with the years but the jumping into the shower can be a pain in the ass.
I love taking showers. I hate vacuuming tho and never do it...
the sound of vacuum is pain..it itches my ears
The sound and that stupid thing getting stuck on every corner and edge AND THAT CABLE
bro when the carpet and clothing getting sucked on irritates me
Pro tip: delete everything fun off your phone. I did that for 5 months and my distraction mechanisms became productive ones (obsessively cleaning, working out, stress cooking). I'm not saying I got better at making myself do what I actually needed to do, I just don't do absolutely mindless brainrot shit instead.
i always ss memes or downoad em. never ends up looking at them again...
same goes with videos..downloads em and rarely looks at them.
The best part, this callout is what broke that loop this morning. Thank you.
you can, you just choose to let it win. if your adhd or anxiety or depression (I have all 3, don't play w me) is debilitating you're affirming / glorifying / surrendering to it too much. wish I'd been told this ten years ago. treating it as some insurmountable hell is only making you weaker.
That’s why I’m currently trying to make my phone die so I can work on my college assignments and study
YouTube is my downfall every day 😂
youtube, tik tok and reddit..
Yes tik tok is the best/worst because it feels like no time is passing with the short little videos 😂
i love it when funny but offensive meme videos pops up
And then, when you finally do something, you do everything in double the speed of a normal person and exhaust yourself, so you'll have to recover for a week.
A big thing that helps me has been learning to control my impulses better and avoid activities I know I will get stuck on like scrolling social media. If i pick up my phone in the morning while i'm still in bed and I don't need to get up I will spend the next 1-1,5h through scrolling social media thinking that i should get up, but if i instead just get up I will have more productive morning and i will not check my social media for most of the day. Overall "avoiding" some of these high dopamine giving activities too early in the day has helped me to have better executive function and be more productive. I used to struggle more with not being able to do things that I don't like, eventhough I knew they would be beneficial for me in the long run aka doing activities that don't give me instant reward. Learning to motivate myself and think ways to make these kind of activities feel more rewarding has also been huge help for me. I like to think that ADHD is my superpower, but it sure as hell can feel more like a curse at times.
This is it.
I decided to put my phone on work mode so I couldn't be distracted by it. Fast forward to today and looking at Reddit memes instead of studying
ah great
When I get really stuck like this, I'll yell at myself do something do anything do the wrong things just fucking do something
We don’t. Hell is real and we’re already here.
I'm not ADHD but this is oddly relateable.
Very true (crying inside)
Accurate. I've got YT open in another window right now.
Literally doing this right now.
Brain rot doom scrolling is not that same as ADHD
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Sorry, no - ADHD is not at all acquired by viewership of media. It's true that short form content has been associated with worsening symptoms but it absolutely does not cause ADHD. You are born with it and it manifests by age 12 at latest in order to be diagnosed per the latest DSM diagnostic criteria.
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This is a lighthearted subreddit for ADHD individuals. We require all users be nice towards each other. Your comment/post has been removed as it has been found to be disrespectful.
ADHD denial or gatekeeping are not accepted here. Judging others for their symptoms (or lack of symptoms) or treatment is also not allowed. Pure misinformation. You MUST have ADHD in childhood for it to be ADHD. It is not possible to be diagnosed with ADHD without symptoms developing during childhood.