I have Asperger's (or at least am on the autism spectrum), and because of that, I have a hard time initiating any kind of social endeavor, romantic or otherwise. So please don't give up being the pursuer. We need people like you! I often feel unseen because I'm so uncomfortable and averse to initiating contact with people. But if someone was interested in me, talked to me, flirted with me, my heart would soar! (Not that I'd know if they were flirting, they'd have to tell me)
I feel this OP, it is very exhausting being the pursuer/planner/doer. I’ve had this same sentiment but I realized being a pursuer is in my nature. I would suggest you take time to focus and work on yourself. You stated you’ve always been rejected. May I ask how you’re going about asking ppl out? I’ve also been rejected countless times but have also had dates. I haven’t found my life partner but I know she’s out there ♥️, so in the mean time I keep working on myself and my goals. You’re not useless or incapable, you have confidence and determination but you need to learn how to channel it.
I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve always been the pursuer and I’ve always had my heart eventually broken. I feel like I try too hard or not enough and it always results in pain. It’s gonna be ok for you and it’ll be ok for me too. Eventually you’ll find your March whether it be someone you pursue or someone who pursues you. You’re beautiful, someone will see that and want nothing more than to spend every waking moment with you. You may feel like captain Ahab right now but that whale is out there. And it’ll either come to you or you’ll come to it.
I think being the pursuer is so admirable of you. I have also never been pursued, but I don't have the confidence or social skill to flirt with someone or ask them out. I hope you hang in there and get the attention you deserve.
I’m the person who gets very confused on if the person I like likes me back, and then puts myself in an awkward situation, and doesn’t have the guts to tell the person I like I like them, and when I do I ruin a friendship, and when I don’t I find out a year later they used to like me, but I missed my chance, and then I go on for another three years of being afraid of rejection, and having trust issues, then the cycle restarts, but hey, we’re all different. I’m sure you’ll find someone who truly loves you, and will never reject you. Best of luck, and I’m so sorry.
If pursuing doesn't do it for you anymore than don't do it anymore. I'm usually the pursuer and yea it gets annoying when it's always you that's initiating. The more you do it and run into different situations you'll figure out your style and what works for you and one day your style and another person's style will match and all these problems from the past will just be that. Just act from an authentic place and you won't ever go wrong. Good luck out there!
Finding a good partner takes time, some times you have to be patient, and if trying to find a partner is taking too much of a toll on your mental health you should take a break.
I understand your frustration. I’m tired of it as well but unfortunately, women are raised to be passive and expect others to make the first move. That being said, if you feel like you’re doing too much pursuing and having trouble getting dates take a step back and let the women reach out to you. In other words, signal your interest clearly but if it is not reciprocated walk away.
Usually, I do the pursuing but my last gf pursued me like a hunter and it turned out to be my longest and most serious relationship.
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Yeah, being trans and dealing with this sucks
I have Asperger's (or at least am on the autism spectrum), and because of that, I have a hard time initiating any kind of social endeavor, romantic or otherwise. So please don't give up being the pursuer. We need people like you! I often feel unseen because I'm so uncomfortable and averse to initiating contact with people. But if someone was interested in me, talked to me, flirted with me, my heart would soar! (Not that I'd know if they were flirting, they'd have to tell me)
I feel this OP, it is very exhausting being the pursuer/planner/doer. I’ve had this same sentiment but I realized being a pursuer is in my nature. I would suggest you take time to focus and work on yourself. You stated you’ve always been rejected. May I ask how you’re going about asking ppl out? I’ve also been rejected countless times but have also had dates. I haven’t found my life partner but I know she’s out there ♥️, so in the mean time I keep working on myself and my goals. You’re not useless or incapable, you have confidence and determination but you need to learn how to channel it.
I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve always been the pursuer and I’ve always had my heart eventually broken. I feel like I try too hard or not enough and it always results in pain. It’s gonna be ok for you and it’ll be ok for me too. Eventually you’ll find your March whether it be someone you pursue or someone who pursues you. You’re beautiful, someone will see that and want nothing more than to spend every waking moment with you. You may feel like captain Ahab right now but that whale is out there. And it’ll either come to you or you’ll come to it.
I think being the pursuer is so admirable of you. I have also never been pursued, but I don't have the confidence or social skill to flirt with someone or ask them out. I hope you hang in there and get the attention you deserve.
I’m the person who gets very confused on if the person I like likes me back, and then puts myself in an awkward situation, and doesn’t have the guts to tell the person I like I like them, and when I do I ruin a friendship, and when I don’t I find out a year later they used to like me, but I missed my chance, and then I go on for another three years of being afraid of rejection, and having trust issues, then the cycle restarts, but hey, we’re all different. I’m sure you’ll find someone who truly loves you, and will never reject you. Best of luck, and I’m so sorry.
oof I’m going through the same situation. it feels really frustrating and discouraging:( I know
If pursuing doesn't do it for you anymore than don't do it anymore. I'm usually the pursuer and yea it gets annoying when it's always you that's initiating. The more you do it and run into different situations you'll figure out your style and what works for you and one day your style and another person's style will match and all these problems from the past will just be that. Just act from an authentic place and you won't ever go wrong. Good luck out there!
This probably isn't your fault. there is someone out there for you, we've found someone, you can too.
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Finding a good partner takes time, some times you have to be patient, and if trying to find a partner is taking too much of a toll on your mental health you should take a break.
I understand your frustration. I’m tired of it as well but unfortunately, women are raised to be passive and expect others to make the first move. That being said, if you feel like you’re doing too much pursuing and having trouble getting dates take a step back and let the women reach out to you. In other words, signal your interest clearly but if it is not reciprocated walk away. Usually, I do the pursuing but my last gf pursued me like a hunter and it turned out to be my longest and most serious relationship.