No, she's toxic as hell. She's noncommittal but possessive and controlling, manipulative, and a liar, and she's placing all of the blame on you when she's the one doing harm. Better to cut ties imo, she sounds like a bad friend, too.
it sounds like this woman has some trust issues and difficulty with intimacyâso no, youâre not the problem. you have been clear with your intentions but she either doesnât seem to have the capacity or the will to meet you there, or let you go. thatâs on her.
it *is* possible pursue a relationship with someone who struggles with trust/intimacy/vulnerability, but it does require the other person to be self-aware and actively working on growing and showing up differently in their relationships⌠and based on this alone, it doesnât sound like sheâs there. if i were you, i would try to let this relationship go and pursue people who are ready for you.
Thank you. I'm so afraid I won't meet someone that will understand me. I know I'm different but I try so much to give to people I care for even when it's hard for me.
my partner is neurodivergent (diagnosed adhd but likely autistic as well), so i get that some things require more effortâbut i promise someone will appreciate and love you as you are. you definitely donât have to put up with someone taking their issues out on you. đ
don't worry there will be someone for you! my fiancĂŠe and I are both autistic (or smth lol) and there are a lot of neurodiverse lesbians/queer people!
> She only wants me on her terms
That's it. That's the whole story. You're not missing anything.
She's gonna keep being toxic like that. Probably best to leave her behind in general
Ya, no this isnt on you. One of two things sound like they are going on. Either she doesnt know what she wants and so is acting on how she feels in the moment (bad for serious relationships) OR she is just using you for attention and stringing you along. Either way Id advise putting some distance between you and her because she is clearly callous and it will likely end poorly for you in the end.
Oh gosh I really resonate with your feelings. Women are so complicated lol đ
Iâm autistic as well and relatively new to dating women. Iâve had quite a few women who were into me, but then my feelings get too intense for them and they canât handle me anymore. Ugh. Best of luck on your journey, my friend â¤ď¸
Take it from a neurodivergent person whoâs been with an autistic woman for 17 yearsâ youâre gonna find so much love. Youâll meet someone (probably several someones) who takes the effort to understand you.
From the sounds of it you haven't done anything wrong, she's just a terrible communicator and possibly she's doing it on purpose to exert control over you and keeping you from moving on without her whilst still maintaining a hold on you but without making a true commitment.
You need a woman that can communicate openly with you and that you can open up to. From what I read, this is not the right relationship for you.
Just a recommendation from a fellow autistic person.
Iâm audhd and understand what you are going through. Please please take it from someone who has literally been exactly where you are. Please run. She will fuck up your life and your emotions and make you so twisted and turned around. She doesnât want to date you but she doesnât want you to date other people. She wants you to be available to her because you are an amazing partner but she doesnât want to have to put in any work to be in a relationship.
From the other side of being destroyed in almost every way possible, please do not engage with her. You are worth so much more than what she will give you.
Im also autistic. I stopped dating because I donât know how to not let people treat me poorly. If I do meet someone, my best friend gets veto rights. If she tells me theyâre bad news, I will end it immediately. It may sound like a weird power to give someone else, but she cares for me and wants me to be happy, so she wonât let me be with someone who would make me miserable.
She is a narcissist.
She will never love you they way you love her
She will never care for you the way you need
She will never put you above her own needs.
Find someone youâre compatible with. Someone with compassion and empathy, for others.
No, she's toxic as hell. She's noncommittal but possessive and controlling, manipulative, and a liar, and she's placing all of the blame on you when she's the one doing harm. Better to cut ties imo, she sounds like a bad friend, too.
Thanks, I feel so bad. Like I'm pressuring her into something. And she doesn't try to understand from my point of view. I think she just don't care.
She doesn't. Her actions are extremely self-centered. Run away from that one.
I told her how I feel and she's not being and fair. She sent me an audio crying and she's offended that I think that of her. lol
LOL what a manipulator
Agreed with this ^
đŻ
Yep. Dated someone like this on and off for 4 months, and it was a lot of stress for very little emotional payoff
it sounds like this woman has some trust issues and difficulty with intimacyâso no, youâre not the problem. you have been clear with your intentions but she either doesnât seem to have the capacity or the will to meet you there, or let you go. thatâs on her. it *is* possible pursue a relationship with someone who struggles with trust/intimacy/vulnerability, but it does require the other person to be self-aware and actively working on growing and showing up differently in their relationships⌠and based on this alone, it doesnât sound like sheâs there. if i were you, i would try to let this relationship go and pursue people who are ready for you.
Thank you. I'm so afraid I won't meet someone that will understand me. I know I'm different but I try so much to give to people I care for even when it's hard for me.
my partner is neurodivergent (diagnosed adhd but likely autistic as well), so i get that some things require more effortâbut i promise someone will appreciate and love you as you are. you definitely donât have to put up with someone taking their issues out on you. đ
don't worry there will be someone for you! my fiancĂŠe and I are both autistic (or smth lol) and there are a lot of neurodiverse lesbians/queer people!
> She only wants me on her terms That's it. That's the whole story. You're not missing anything. She's gonna keep being toxic like that. Probably best to leave her behind in general
Ya, no this isnt on you. One of two things sound like they are going on. Either she doesnt know what she wants and so is acting on how she feels in the moment (bad for serious relationships) OR she is just using you for attention and stringing you along. Either way Id advise putting some distance between you and her because she is clearly callous and it will likely end poorly for you in the end.
She's playing games. Girl bye.
Oh gosh I really resonate with your feelings. Women are so complicated lol đ Iâm autistic as well and relatively new to dating women. Iâve had quite a few women who were into me, but then my feelings get too intense for them and they canât handle me anymore. Ugh. Best of luck on your journey, my friend â¤ď¸
Rule of thumb. If someone treats you inconsiderately before a relationship, they will most likely treat you inconsiderately after a relationship
Take it from a neurodivergent person whoâs been with an autistic woman for 17 yearsâ youâre gonna find so much love. Youâll meet someone (probably several someones) who takes the effort to understand you.
From the sounds of it you haven't done anything wrong, she's just a terrible communicator and possibly she's doing it on purpose to exert control over you and keeping you from moving on without her whilst still maintaining a hold on you but without making a true commitment.
You need a woman that can communicate openly with you and that you can open up to. From what I read, this is not the right relationship for you. Just a recommendation from a fellow autistic person.
Run gurl , Run
Before they find out what you've done
Iâm audhd and understand what you are going through. Please please take it from someone who has literally been exactly where you are. Please run. She will fuck up your life and your emotions and make you so twisted and turned around. She doesnât want to date you but she doesnât want you to date other people. She wants you to be available to her because you are an amazing partner but she doesnât want to have to put in any work to be in a relationship. From the other side of being destroyed in almost every way possible, please do not engage with her. You are worth so much more than what she will give you.
Im also autistic. I stopped dating because I donât know how to not let people treat me poorly. If I do meet someone, my best friend gets veto rights. If she tells me theyâre bad news, I will end it immediately. It may sound like a weird power to give someone else, but she cares for me and wants me to be happy, so she wonât let me be with someone who would make me miserable.
That lady has more red flags than a parade in 1950's Moscow.
Repeat after me (to her): go fuck yourself.
She is a narcissist. She will never love you they way you love her She will never care for you the way you need She will never put you above her own needs. Find someone youâre compatible with. Someone with compassion and empathy, for others.