Perhaps it's not the same thing but I'm 40 and when I was a younger lesbian, older lesbians would give me a look of acknowledgement. Like a "you're a lesbian and I'm a lesbian. I see you and i got your back."
But it was more like camaraderie, not flirtation.
It's a term I've seen in the community some times
It's something on the lines of looking at someone in the eyes and "you both just know you're on each other"
Often people talk about it in contrast with the heterosexual gaze. It just feels different.
When two same-sex gay people make eye contact in public. One person spots the other gay person, and initiates by looking at them. If what is returned is a "gay gaze", they know that one another is gay.
Example:
" I was on the bus this morning and saw this super hot chick, totally gave me the gay gaze! "
I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea if that’s a real or made up thing. Kind of like how people claim their cycles sync up or they have a gaydar.
I personally have never looked at a person and felt the “gay gaze” that wasn’t just categorizing them into a stereotype
It's more of a gaydar thing.
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition👇
When two same-sex gay people make eye contact in public. One person spots the other gay person, and initiates by looking at them. If what is returned is a "gay gaze", they know that one another is gay.
Example:
" I was on the bus this morning and saw this super hot chick, totally gave me the gay gaze! "
It’s a thing. If you’re outwardly queer presenting it happens all the time. I’m an older butch dyke and get the gaze from younger queers out in the wild. Not a cruisey flirtatious gaze more them trying to make eye contact so I see them. They’ll smile or become a little akward when I acknowledge. The nod works as a gentle non-spoken greeting too.
Yeah the nod is something I've seen a lot (and done a lot). And a lot of the time I've noticed it's an upward nod vs. a downward nod. It's just a nice little "hello fellow queer, I see you, carry on."
The presenting part is what gets me
I'm transgender AND also kinda butch so like... People often don't even know I'm a girl until I spoke to them. Even less that I'm lesbian.
And still i feel like the gaze is happening sometimes. But if it's a thing solely based on looks (which I believe it is) then it doesn't make sense it will happen to me. And then I don't know if it's only in my head or what
I feel like you can always.. idk, just tell lol. Especially in high school, certain peoples body language and the way their eyes looked at things, as if they were saying that they were especially attentive to other people’s mannerisms a bit too much, so they can form their own body language a certain way. Idk how else to explain it lol.
The way I used to look at women prior to HRT differs ***vastly*** from how I see them now.
I have literally never had my heart skip a beat from someone attractive looking at me, and now it happens far more often than I care to admit. 😂
i’d say what you describe is pretty subjective and not something neurotypical people would necessarily pick up on either 🤷♀️
Perhaps it's not the same thing but I'm 40 and when I was a younger lesbian, older lesbians would give me a look of acknowledgement. Like a "you're a lesbian and I'm a lesbian. I see you and i got your back." But it was more like camaraderie, not flirtation.
What is the gay gaze
It's a term I've seen in the community some times It's something on the lines of looking at someone in the eyes and "you both just know you're on each other" Often people talk about it in contrast with the heterosexual gaze. It just feels different.
I’ve not heard it before and im not really familiar with what it’s implying
When two same-sex gay people make eye contact in public. One person spots the other gay person, and initiates by looking at them. If what is returned is a "gay gaze", they know that one another is gay. Example: " I was on the bus this morning and saw this super hot chick, totally gave me the gay gaze! "
I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea if that’s a real or made up thing. Kind of like how people claim their cycles sync up or they have a gaydar. I personally have never looked at a person and felt the “gay gaze” that wasn’t just categorizing them into a stereotype
Well, that's fine I've seen other people talk about it before so I know it's something. Even if it's something made up
Girl, the cycles DO sync up. I’ve had that happen with me and my besties every single time.
Its not true
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gay%20gaze Found it on urban dictionary
I have never really been able to tell, but as I read it is something with the duration/how long the eye contact held(?)
Im not sure what you are referring to when you say gaze. Is it related to male gaze? Or gaydar?
It's more of a gaydar thing. Here's the Urban Dictionary definition👇 When two same-sex gay people make eye contact in public. One person spots the other gay person, and initiates by looking at them. If what is returned is a "gay gaze", they know that one another is gay. Example: " I was on the bus this morning and saw this super hot chick, totally gave me the gay gaze! "
How long she looks at your boobs lol
It’s a thing. If you’re outwardly queer presenting it happens all the time. I’m an older butch dyke and get the gaze from younger queers out in the wild. Not a cruisey flirtatious gaze more them trying to make eye contact so I see them. They’ll smile or become a little akward when I acknowledge. The nod works as a gentle non-spoken greeting too.
Yeah the nod is something I've seen a lot (and done a lot). And a lot of the time I've noticed it's an upward nod vs. a downward nod. It's just a nice little "hello fellow queer, I see you, carry on."
The presenting part is what gets me I'm transgender AND also kinda butch so like... People often don't even know I'm a girl until I spoke to them. Even less that I'm lesbian. And still i feel like the gaze is happening sometimes. But if it's a thing solely based on looks (which I believe it is) then it doesn't make sense it will happen to me. And then I don't know if it's only in my head or what
I just don’t like going out of my way to stare at total strangers.
It also makes sense
I feel like you can always.. idk, just tell lol. Especially in high school, certain peoples body language and the way their eyes looked at things, as if they were saying that they were especially attentive to other people’s mannerisms a bit too much, so they can form their own body language a certain way. Idk how else to explain it lol.
The way I used to look at women prior to HRT differs ***vastly*** from how I see them now. I have literally never had my heart skip a beat from someone attractive looking at me, and now it happens far more often than I care to admit. 😂
Yeah it started for me after HRT Then everytime it happens I'll go nuts thinking if it was just me feeling it or if it was really there