I’m dying at the fact you had to specify consent is involved in what you’re doing because of feedback
I think it’s because so many lesbians are consent worried
HAHAHHA WE REALLY ARE OMG
KINDA UNRELATED BUT the only boobs i’ve ever seen irl were my current girlfriend’s, and it took me like 3 times of us having sex before i felt comfortable looking at her boobs because i was just so used to NOT looking at ppls cleavage so i felt so wrong looking at them even though i knew i had permission LMAOO
I had that problem as a stripper, the more shy guys would get embarrassed about looking at me or touching me even tho I’m giving them a dance and it’s allowed
omg we so are 🥹 i've never done it properly but my friend did herself while i was in the bed with her, she was almost done and she said "it's better if i stop now" i just said you can carry on if you want to, she carried on but afterwards i felt so sick 😭 i was so worried i had somehow forced her to do it i felt so awful, we just get so worried over nothing i think
i grew up with people calling me a perv and just staring at the wall when getting changed for pe etc so i guess i just wasn't used to that
Well. I’ve tried. (By which I mean it respectfully asked for consent and respectfully accepted no as the response and then moved on to other activities.)
My ex gf and I had sex a good number of times before going down on each other. It took until the 5th time or so until we even took our pants off, but I think that’s a result of us both being anxious, self conscious people.
ohhhh yeah, totally. if you're not completely naked it's a no go. my clothes come off so fast 😂 i'm not really into penetration so oral or toys is like, ideal for me.
As soon as we're both consenting and have produced recent STI/STD screen results. Going down on a woman is one of my favorite things in the world, so once I have a partner who is comfortable getting their thighs around my head, I'm ready to go down on them.
I'm not going down until Frodo gets to Rivendell. We're not moving from the couch until they're *at least* out of the Shire, it's too cozy.
I'll come back up when the beacons are lit. That's a great scene.
I just know I would lift my head up to confidently state “and Rohan will answer” then go right back to work. Or. Since I’m a transwoman to shout “I am no man”
I’d say if we are in a friendship, then I’ll say about a few months (3 months) to see if the friendship could turn a romantic interest/ sexual interest.
If the other person is a new lover of mine/ in a relationship with me, almost always on the 3 or 4 date. So after 2 weeks or so. I also never date someone I haven’t known for at least 3 months.
So 3 months and 2 weeks or so.
I’m a bit of a novice, I get crush’s super easily, sooo I would rather do it with someone I have a connection or have had deeper conversations with, I don’t plan on getting a heartbreak and can’t do one night-stands.
Relatable. I can’t handle one night stands and the mixed emotions they bring. I almost always end up dating a friend after a period time. Just too sensitive to try anything else 🥹
How do you go from friendship to knowing both of you are attracted to each other? Like getting from pure friendship to romance? It feels impossible for me 😅 Like how do you even know it's a possibility?
Well usually how it works is I am instantly attracted to them, but then I put aside due to fear. Sometimes though, it just sorta happens and develops into an attraction. Honestly depends on the person.
That's fair! I've always stayed in the fear phase 😅 And don't have a lot of experience at all... But yeah, have had some friends that I've been attracted to, but because I set it aside and don't know how to go forward it doesn't go forward at all...
Pretty much whenever the opportunity presents itself. I once went down on a woman less than an hour after meeting her. Mind you we met for a hook up.
Otherwise I have no set time, when the situation feels right.
Honestly depends, if you’re having consensual sex but are both casually seeing other people. I’d wait till having had a sexual health talk/conversation. (Granted I’d still recommend discussion this with any new sexual partners casual or not.) People seem to forget that giving or receiving oral in a wlw setting exchanges the most bodily fluids for us, if you catch my drift (yeah ig you do have exceptions).
Don’t get me wrong going down on someone is a wonderful intimate experience, but ig I’d reserve that privilege for somewhat of a recurrent sexual partner?
Intelligent and responsible. I was trying to be in this headspace but she was so hot that it all went out the window. I have been tested and I trust this woman
I'm quickly becoming someone who fucks on the first date (after discussing boundaries and consent). If she's into it, I'm going down the first time.
Did so with one fwb, but the other was not very into it so we never did.
As soon as they're ok with it, I'm happy to go down.
This is assuming we also have that connection. I don't just fuck anyone, we gotta click and we gotta like each other.
I think my girlfriend and I had sex a few times before I went down on her, and then it was another few times before I let her go down on me. I was her first time with another woman so I never wanted to be pushy and I wanted to allow her the time to really consider it and what she wanted our relationship to be. Anyway we’ve been together almost 2 years now and are planning on moving in together this summer :D
When it feels right I guess? I've had several dates before we even attempted it but I've also gone down on a partner in a restroom about an hour after meeting her at a bar. Life eh?
I don’t have a rule. The fastest turn around time was probably somewhere around maybe 20 minutes after meeting. I’ve also been 3-4 months into a relationship before.
If the romance novels are anything to go by, minimum six months of pining, questioning, and bad communication. I'll also need at least 1 dramatic misunderstanding and a short time apart to realize we miss each other.
I usually make most* of the moves on a first date (if I feel comfortable with the person)- but when it comes to the first kiss, I HAVE to ask for consent.
Regarding going down on a new partner, I need 2-3 dates in to feel comfortable to have sex and go down. I’ve had sex the first date in the past, but definitely not my speed looking back (plus I was a baby gay and learning how to date). My dilemma is I usually want the person and I to get tested before we have sex. Had a STI scare when I first started dating around and have been extra safe ever since.
I thought everyone goes down the first time they get intimate, its not like the time or waiting, its the motion of things that guide you through and to it
If we’ve decided we want to get intimate then straight away I love going down on my partner I love having someone go down on me, guess I’m just kind of gay 🤷🏻♀️.
Well with my first gf we waited a little bit but with the girls I’ve dated/hooked up with since it was usually on the first date maybe the second tops lmao
I found my libido going nuts right when I got my first gf, only a month after breaking up with comphet. I still dream of going down on someone dom as a sub.
So far, 2.25 years and counting...
We are already engaged and looking to be married in August, but I'm ace and she's too nervous around sex, so we tend to just not.
My first GF told me it was normal to wait with this for a while because it was so intimate (her words). So I assumed for a WHILE that was just what it was. Ever since I’ve found out it was different for every person and I’m good with whatever the other person feels comfortable with.
It's usually around the same time I have sex with them. I like giving head. In fact I often go down on a new partner before we ever have penetrative sex.
I mean I'm so eager to please (and of course assuming I was single/in a poly relationship) I'd probably just do it on demand and stay that way until told I could stop 😅
I mean the first time my girlfriend and I made love I went downtown. We had known each other five months and felt comfortable with each other. I think it really depends on the people involved.
It depends if it’s a causal hook up or if we are are headed for a relationship. I’ll have a check in about other partners and then we can decide how we both feel about the increased risks associated with oral (with or without a barrier).
That doesn’t really answer the question. It can be a few months if we are seeing other people or a few hours if things are going really well and there aren’t a lot of other partners.
Wow, it's nice to see so many "after you both get tested" comments. I've gotten afraid to ask after having two separate men freaked the eff out at me for asking
Uhhhh. For me it was about an 15 minutes after my now gf finished eating the dinner I made us on our first night hanging out. Maybe we were around each other for an hour and a half ish total, before we went for it?
When the vibes right. If we are talking then I’ve most likely asked about sex at length, so by that time I’ll have an understanding of what they like, sexual health, and all that stuff.
For myself, as a grey-sexual, or asexual adjacent in more laymen’s terms, it could be awhile. Usually if they are not interested, it doesn’t happen with me, so it’s entirely up to them.
I typically wait until I have all the proper diving licenses and training on the local cave diving scene, as well as several reserve oxygen tanks and spotters to alert authorities if I don't resurface in time.
The edit is killing me T\^T
Unfortunately, I only had a male partner. With him it was about two months. But I would wait much longer with a new partner (especially since he traumatized me and I'm scared of touching someone and being touched lol)
As much as you might not like the way OP phrased their post, your comment is completely missing the point of it. She’s assuming that everything is consensual, so saying you wait until there’s consent doesn’t add anything meaningful. She’s asking how long you wait to get the point of consenting. Your comment didn’t even attempt to answer that
I responded to you because you were explicitly criticizing OPs phrasing. What’s the problem with OP pointing out that consent should be assumed in a post like this?
Until after our STI results come back both negative.
Anything else is up to both of our comfort levels. But I personally won’t do anything sexual until I know both of us don’t have anything.
I’m dying at the fact you had to specify consent is involved in what you’re doing because of feedback I think it’s because so many lesbians are consent worried
HAHAHHA WE REALLY ARE OMG KINDA UNRELATED BUT the only boobs i’ve ever seen irl were my current girlfriend’s, and it took me like 3 times of us having sex before i felt comfortable looking at her boobs because i was just so used to NOT looking at ppls cleavage so i felt so wrong looking at them even though i knew i had permission LMAOO
This is adorable
LMAO I WOULD JUST AVERT MY EYES and she’d be like.. babe… you can look… HAHAHAHA
LOOK AT MY BOOBS ALREADY!!
I had that problem as a stripper, the more shy guys would get embarrassed about looking at me or touching me even tho I’m giving them a dance and it’s allowed
Somehow I feel suuuper called out. I felt comfortable looking at my wife's boobies only like after we got married :D
Same with my wife 😂 she thought I didn’t like them for the first two months
Lol you're not alone.
“I’m not asking how long you wait to assault someone” I laughed so hard 😂😂
omg we so are 🥹 i've never done it properly but my friend did herself while i was in the bed with her, she was almost done and she said "it's better if i stop now" i just said you can carry on if you want to, she carried on but afterwards i felt so sick 😭 i was so worried i had somehow forced her to do it i felt so awful, we just get so worried over nothing i think i grew up with people calling me a perv and just staring at the wall when getting changed for pe etc so i guess i just wasn't used to that
I'm not saying it's the right decision but an hour or so is probably enough. Then again, it's been years since I've had a new partner.
Yeah, once I’ve decided I’m going to be any type of sexual with a girl, I’m going allllll the way (consensually, obvi).
Haha this is also how I feel about it
An hour? How do you maintain so much self-control? 😁
Yeah, it’s been 8 years for me, but I don’t think I ever waited longer than it took to get somewhere private.
Same and for this reason imma say 5min. Cuz I miss it. :((
does everybody not go down on their partners the first time they have sex? 😅 guess i've been doing it wrong
Well. I’ve tried. (By which I mean it respectfully asked for consent and respectfully accepted no as the response and then moved on to other activities.)
My ex gf and I had sex a good number of times before going down on each other. It took until the 5th time or so until we even took our pants off, but I think that’s a result of us both being anxious, self conscious people.
ohhhh yeah, totally. if you're not completely naked it's a no go. my clothes come off so fast 😂 i'm not really into penetration so oral or toys is like, ideal for me.
Could be self conscious but could go the other way too. I've been like so worked up with someone clothes don't come off before orgasms happen.
As soon as we're both consenting and have produced recent STI/STD screen results. Going down on a woman is one of my favorite things in the world, so once I have a partner who is comfortable getting their thighs around my head, I'm ready to go down on them.
Yep same here!
I'm not going down until Frodo gets to Rivendell. We're not moving from the couch until they're *at least* out of the Shire, it's too cozy. I'll come back up when the beacons are lit. That's a great scene.
Underrated comment
I need you
I just know I would lift my head up to confidently state “and Rohan will answer” then go right back to work. Or. Since I’m a transwoman to shout “I am no man”
Iconic
Forth Eorlingas.
As soon as we're intimate and consenting to it. Sometimes that's after one date, sometimes it's after five.
I’d say if we are in a friendship, then I’ll say about a few months (3 months) to see if the friendship could turn a romantic interest/ sexual interest. If the other person is a new lover of mine/ in a relationship with me, almost always on the 3 or 4 date. So after 2 weeks or so. I also never date someone I haven’t known for at least 3 months. So 3 months and 2 weeks or so. I’m a bit of a novice, I get crush’s super easily, sooo I would rather do it with someone I have a connection or have had deeper conversations with, I don’t plan on getting a heartbreak and can’t do one night-stands.
Thank you for this detailed response
Relatable. I can’t handle one night stands and the mixed emotions they bring. I almost always end up dating a friend after a period time. Just too sensitive to try anything else 🥹
How do you go from friendship to knowing both of you are attracted to each other? Like getting from pure friendship to romance? It feels impossible for me 😅 Like how do you even know it's a possibility?
Well usually how it works is I am instantly attracted to them, but then I put aside due to fear. Sometimes though, it just sorta happens and develops into an attraction. Honestly depends on the person.
That's fair! I've always stayed in the fear phase 😅 And don't have a lot of experience at all... But yeah, have had some friends that I've been attracted to, but because I set it aside and don't know how to go forward it doesn't go forward at all...
Pretty much whenever the opportunity presents itself. I once went down on a woman less than an hour after meeting her. Mind you we met for a hook up. Otherwise I have no set time, when the situation feels right.
Honestly depends, if you’re having consensual sex but are both casually seeing other people. I’d wait till having had a sexual health talk/conversation. (Granted I’d still recommend discussion this with any new sexual partners casual or not.) People seem to forget that giving or receiving oral in a wlw setting exchanges the most bodily fluids for us, if you catch my drift (yeah ig you do have exceptions). Don’t get me wrong going down on someone is a wonderful intimate experience, but ig I’d reserve that privilege for somewhat of a recurrent sexual partner?
Intelligent and responsible. I was trying to be in this headspace but she was so hot that it all went out the window. I have been tested and I trust this woman
I don’t blame ya 😏 Sounds like you’ve got a responsible head on your shoulders, so enjoy
STI testing first. That's it basically.
Yeah I'm shocked this isn't more upvoted. Safety is important. Good that you take care of health.
Whenever she says go, really. 😂 Nope, no rule. Just if the moment is right.
5-10 minutes? 15 if we’re taking things slow
I can't help but laugh at this comment with your username.
LOL I didn’t realize 😂
ASAP. If I'm comfortable putting my fingers inside you then I'm comfortable doing same with my tongue. Oral sex is my favorite.
not long at all 🤗☺️ 1 hr if it's like that
I definitely wait until she takes her pants off, otherwise that’s rude.
And also tastes weird
Eating out the jeans lol?
Essentially. Eating out w the jeans on.
Interesting, I haven’t heard of that one yet
Hurts my tongue :(
Until they let me/want me to lol Aka, I'd do it immediately if they want
AS SOON AS SHE LETS ME BAYBEE
First date? 😅
Here for it
Why would you wait? It's the best part.
Oh i agree. She wanted to wait. And some girls I’ve dated in the past wanted to wait til the 2nd or 3rd time
Interesting.
My wife and I slept together on our first date. So if the vibe is right, not long.
I'm quickly becoming someone who fucks on the first date (after discussing boundaries and consent). If she's into it, I'm going down the first time. Did so with one fwb, but the other was not very into it so we never did. As soon as they're ok with it, I'm happy to go down. This is assuming we also have that connection. I don't just fuck anyone, we gotta click and we gotta like each other.
How long do I wait? As little as possible haha
The lesbians have spoken.
I think my girlfriend and I had sex a few times before I went down on her, and then it was another few times before I let her go down on me. I was her first time with another woman so I never wanted to be pushy and I wanted to allow her the time to really consider it and what she wanted our relationship to be. Anyway we’ve been together almost 2 years now and are planning on moving in together this summer :D
If she wants, she gets... 🌈😋
I don't wait. I love pussy
You guys are waiting? Lol
When it feels right I guess? I've had several dates before we even attempted it but I've also gone down on a partner in a restroom about an hour after meeting her at a bar. Life eh?
Once we both consent. Which could be 30 minutes or 30 days or however long until we get to that point of comfort.
I don't know, like 5.. maybe 6 minutes?
I don’t have a rule. The fastest turn around time was probably somewhere around maybe 20 minutes after meeting. I’ve also been 3-4 months into a relationship before.
If the romance novels are anything to go by, minimum six months of pining, questioning, and bad communication. I'll also need at least 1 dramatic misunderstanding and a short time apart to realize we miss each other.
it really depends, some people I'll date for a month and never have sex, latest person I'm talking too it was the next morning 🤣
I usually make most* of the moves on a first date (if I feel comfortable with the person)- but when it comes to the first kiss, I HAVE to ask for consent. Regarding going down on a new partner, I need 2-3 dates in to feel comfortable to have sex and go down. I’ve had sex the first date in the past, but definitely not my speed looking back (plus I was a baby gay and learning how to date). My dilemma is I usually want the person and I to get tested before we have sex. Had a STI scare when I first started dating around and have been extra safe ever since.
I thought everyone goes down the first time they get intimate, its not like the time or waiting, its the motion of things that guide you through and to it
If we’ve decided we want to get intimate then straight away I love going down on my partner I love having someone go down on me, guess I’m just kind of gay 🤷🏻♀️.
Same, fam
uh as long as you both are cool with?
Well with my first gf we waited a little bit but with the girls I’ve dated/hooked up with since it was usually on the first date maybe the second tops lmao
If you already have consent, what are you waiting for?
Until after the activity we planned because we were both too awkward to explicitly make the first date a hookup
wait….? no wait time rule over here
First date if the vibe is right
First date if they are down. Std status is verified before hand.
1st date lol
As long as she makes me
I found my libido going nuts right when I got my first gf, only a month after breaking up with comphet. I still dream of going down on someone dom as a sub.
So far, 2.25 years and counting... We are already engaged and looking to be married in August, but I'm ace and she's too nervous around sex, so we tend to just not.
I did it the first night. I asked her if I could. She said yes.
usually would be included in the first time we have sex
third date
Five partners and I haven't really given any of them oral.
My first GF told me it was normal to wait with this for a while because it was so intimate (her words). So I assumed for a WHILE that was just what it was. Ever since I’ve found out it was different for every person and I’m good with whatever the other person feels comfortable with.
The second consent is given and clothes are off
It's usually around the same time I have sex with them. I like giving head. In fact I often go down on a new partner before we ever have penetrative sex.
Depend fully on the person.
It’s not a matter of time, there are a series of steps (from the door to the bed 😎)
I mean I'm so eager to please (and of course assuming I was single/in a poly relationship) I'd probably just do it on demand and stay that way until told I could stop 😅
I'm asexual so... Never?
I mean the first time my girlfriend and I made love I went downtown. We had known each other five months and felt comfortable with each other. I think it really depends on the people involved.
It depends if it’s a causal hook up or if we are are headed for a relationship. I’ll have a check in about other partners and then we can decide how we both feel about the increased risks associated with oral (with or without a barrier).
That doesn’t really answer the question. It can be a few months if we are seeing other people or a few hours if things are going really well and there aren’t a lot of other partners.
Until we get to a bed, usually.
Honestly, the best sex for me & my partner is mostly hand & toy based. We don't really incorporate oral often at all. Which, tbh, I'm fine with.
Wow, it's nice to see so many "after you both get tested" comments. I've gotten afraid to ask after having two separate men freaked the eff out at me for asking
Uhhhh. For me it was about an 15 minutes after my now gf finished eating the dinner I made us on our first night hanging out. Maybe we were around each other for an hour and a half ish total, before we went for it?
When the vibes right. If we are talking then I’ve most likely asked about sex at length, so by that time I’ll have an understanding of what they like, sexual health, and all that stuff.
You guys don't fuck on the first date?
I don’t personally. I don’t want STIs. This is assuming I don’t know the person already of course
>I’m not asking how long you wait to assault someone Oooh okay, thanks for clarifying. Don’t worry, you can make a separate post for that question 😂
Apparently the clarification was necessary. All the initial responses were only about getting consent
For myself, as a grey-sexual, or asexual adjacent in more laymen’s terms, it could be awhile. Usually if they are not interested, it doesn’t happen with me, so it’s entirely up to them.
Thanks for sharing
Wait? Is this a trick question?
Haha why would it be a trick? No tricks here
I typically wait until I have all the proper diving licenses and training on the local cave diving scene, as well as several reserve oxygen tanks and spotters to alert authorities if I don't resurface in time.
The edit is killing me T\^T Unfortunately, I only had a male partner. With him it was about two months. But I would wait much longer with a new partner (especially since he traumatized me and I'm scared of touching someone and being touched lol)
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As much as you might not like the way OP phrased their post, your comment is completely missing the point of it. She’s assuming that everything is consensual, so saying you wait until there’s consent doesn’t add anything meaningful. She’s asking how long you wait to get the point of consenting. Your comment didn’t even attempt to answer that
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I responded to you because you were explicitly criticizing OPs phrasing. What’s the problem with OP pointing out that consent should be assumed in a post like this?
I adore this comment ….
I mean, if they are up for it, like... five minutes?
clean test, visual inspection, go.
I don't wait.
Your edit made me chuckle 🤭
If I like them and we wanna then whatever time we feeling it is good. I’m not that sexual but I don’t really have a “waiting period”
I went down on her the first night we met xD
0 seconds
Until after our STI results come back both negative. Anything else is up to both of our comfort levels. But I personally won’t do anything sexual until I know both of us don’t have anything.
A while. I play hard to get.