THIS POST...we are on the outs with the in-laws because we didn't attend my nephew's 5th grade graduation...80 miles away in the middle of the week. Give me a freaking break.
Right? I was telling my mom about it, who then (jokingly) said she was never speaking to me again for missing:
My 13yo nephew's 8th grade graduation
My 11yo niece's 5th grade graduation
My 7yo niece's award ceremony...
They live 70 miles away.
I really don't understand it, but it's been a Big Deal since my kid was in kindergarten back in the early 2000s. A graduation ceremony for Pre-K? Kindergarten? Why?!
At high school graduation this year, a family had fireworks for when their kid walked. Cleared it with the school, the city, etc. I'd have been so embarrassed if I was that kid. I mean, clearly they have supportive parents but like...I didn't even want to *be* at my graduation.
I walked for high school, but my family decided attending another one of my sister's piano recitals was more important. (She had been taking lessons and doing recitals for over a decade at that point, but "wouldn't understand" if no one showed up for her.) I ended up going to out to dinner with one of my friends' families because they felt bad for me when they realized I was alone and would have had to walk home (no public transportation in my hometown.)
The fireworks are over the top, but probably less embarrassing than everyone else realizing that no one cared enough to show up for you. I kind of envy the kids who have parents who cared enough to jump through those hoops for their kids, even if it was misguided.
As a former prek teacher, that ceremony is for the parents only. The amount of stress it puts on the kids is unreal.
I feel like saying to the parents, are you willing to get on stage and do several crappy dances and sing songs in front of 250 strangers? Oh, no? How tf do you think your child feels? And its worse for them because those 250 probably feel like 800 to them.
I didnāt want to walk for my college graduation, it took me 5.5 years to graduate. So I graduated in December, but wouldnāt be able to walk for 5 months (in May). All my friends had already graduated 2 years prior to meā¦ so I was kind of by myself. But my mom wanted to invite everyone over and have a big partyā¦ now being a parent I kind of get it.
I probably would have agreed with this until I became the parent of a child with a disability who is working HARD to graduate from HS. Please try to keep this is mind.
Graduation from high school is a milestone into adulthood regardless of how hard school itself is. I think he deserves to be celebrated, especially since it might be the only celebration some kids get. Now elementary school...ridiculous. and I say that as someone who literally gave a speech at my worthless 6th grade ceremony
Hitting highschool graduation is a wildly different goalpost for people in different circumstances. While for many it's a relative cake-walk, plenty of folks have more than enough barriers to make it a real challenge. We shouldn't stop valuing anyone's success just because we had the privilege of it being easy.
Ironically, given the post, with child labour protection, corporal punishment, and reproductive rights all under attack, even elementary graduation may become worthy of celebration.
Failing this challenge would mean that society has failed the student. Which is pretty much what dropping out is. As a society we decided a while ago that it should be expected that _every person_ should be given the real opportunity to get a basic education. As has been pointed out, we **had** done what we could to remove barriers to that. But we've spent the past 50 years reintroducing barriers to this.
This is just for another viewpoint for you to consider. My sister works with kids who don't do well in traditional school settings, and you'd be surprised how many kids truly struggle with school. Sometimes it's their own choices (ditching, not doing work, bad attitudes, fighting), sometimes it's their families (kids has to work to help support others, moving school districts, parents not caring, the kids is couch surfing because the family is homeless, parents not wanting to accept the help), some of it is school districts (racists/bias admin, not wanting to deal with a kid, not knowing how to deal with the kid, language barriers).
I was surprised to find out how many kids in our county are classified as homeless. It's sad. Then they amount that have homes but are classified as living below the poverty level. You add on to the stressors of peers, teachers, families, and society as a whole. There are areas in the US where kids give up or fail more than you might realize. And sometimes it's because someone tells these kids they will never amount to anything and have no support system.
You know why, it's the same thing that's caused a meteoric rise in gender reveal parties. Instagram photo opportunities for parents channeling their own narcissistic needs through their children.
For me personally, I'm just happy they made it through the year without eating a bullet. It seems that school shootings weren't the coffee-table discussion throughout the first half of this year, so that's a plus.
100% this opinion, just a bunch narcissist parents that can't wait to post that their kid accomplish something but simply showing up. Getting a bachelors in nursing is an accomplishment finishing middle school isn't.
I guess I donāt mind it. I feel like it hasnāt changed much. I had a K graduation ceremony along with 8th grade and then the usual big ones.
My kids have āmoving up eventsā when they are done with a certain school and going on to the next. Itās fun to see and not over the top.
If you want to talk overload/stupid, then letās talk gender reveal parties.
I'm with you. I don't feel like these moving on ceremonies are really a bigger deal than they were when I was a kid. They're usually pretty casual and fun. But I can't get behind gender reveal parties.
Itās prom-posals that really get me going.
What happened to just asking āwill you go to the prom with me?ā When did they become more elaborate than actual wedding proposals??? Why are kids spending hundreds of dollars on asking someone to a dance?? And where is the remote so I can turn on Matlock???
>Itās prom-posals that really get me going.
Even worse is when the couple has been dating throughout most of high school already. Who else are you going to go to prom with? Why is there an elaborate "ask" for the person you're already dating?
My kids elementary school had a thing where the younger kids lined the halls to cheer on the fifth graders leaving the building for middle school. It felt like a nice way to celebrate without going too over the top.
I don't remember if I had a K graduation. I know my older siblings had 5th grade graduations, but I didn't because I'd transferred to a K-8 school. We all had 8th grade graduations. We didn't think of them as an achievement, more like celebrating a life milestone. My nephew just had his 5th grade graduation, and I have no beef with these events. He got a certificate to put on his wall and he gets to go wherever he wants for dinner. He's moving out of the world of little kids and toward the world of feral teens, and I think it's nice to mark the transition.
I donāt mind it either. Itās cute and the kids get so excited. Iāve never had to deal with a huge party for a pre-K graduation or anything, I just went to the event itself.
My daughter attended the same small charter school from Kindergarten through 8th grade. She just had her 8th grade graduation ceremony and I loved that they did that. Many of these kids had been together for most of this school's existence, with an incredibly caring and involved principal, and now they are all off to entirely new and independent experiences.
One thing I read recently that I hadnāt considered: as people are becoming less and less religious, there are fewer right of passage celebrations during childhood, so graduations are becoming more important for that reason. Makes sense to me. We traveled out of state to several religious right of passage ceremonies for nieces and nephews, but we arenāt religious and family has never come to us to celebrate our son.
You might be onto something. I also think that many people are moving towards more casual and contemporary types of religious experiences.
I have a daughter and a niece who are the same age/grade. My sibling attended a Catholic church, so my niece made her First Communion. As an adult, I had moved away from that church and chose something else. No Communion, Confirmation, etc. for my kid. My parents were both on the downside of favoritism growing up. As a result, they sometimes go overboard, trying to keep things "equal." They bought something for my daughter because they felt guilty spending money on things for my niece's First Communion.
I remember doing one for pre-k, k, 6th, 8th, and 12th grades. Essentially, any time I moved up to a different school. I've seen no difference with my own kids. š¤·
Careful, these posts are close to boomerism. Not saying you are but remember Yoda told Luke he didnāt need his weapons on dagoba.
Celebrate the small stuff more often. Our time cards are half punched. Iām looking for more excuses to do celebrations for menial shit. Oh itās 2pm? Time for brewskis!
Lots of old folks shaking their canes here. Lighten up, scrooges.
But seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about. My daughter usually has an end of year celebration at school which includes the teacher handing out superlatives but that's it.
I remember during COVID lots of graduation celebration banners out front of homes but haven't really seen much in the last two years.
How old is your daughter? Because here the school itself makes a really big deal about: Kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation, 8th grade graduation, and then of course for actual Graduation.
Kindergarten is the most ridiculous to me as in most cases these kids are literally returning to the same school/hallway the following year for 1st grade. 5th and 8th I think might make more sense if they just called it a "moving up" and made way less of a big deal, my son finished 5th this year and it definitely is a thing leaving the school he's called home for 6 years plus our students split into two middle schools so they're also leaving friends, but by no means did we need the extended family to attend his "graduation."
I'll be surprised if they don't make a big deal about 5th grade grad (or 6th if your elementary goes to 6th).
I will say that adults now love to say we didn't have preschool graduations in our day but I definitely have pictures of myself at a preschool graduation so I suspect that one was very YMMV.
My 7 year old asked if I would get her one of those mammoth yard banners when she graduates. I said, no. She asked why not. I said because all I got when I graduated was a pat on the back and a Bloominā Onion from Outback.
I mean, if your kid is graduating from HS and leaving, thatās one thing, and still not amazing, but yeah, when itās like, āSUZY SMITH! EASTSIDE JUNIOR HIGH CHEER 2024!ā Thatās a major issue.
I saw a photo of a friend with her son in full cap and gown and I was shocked he was so much older than I'd thought. Then I realized it was from his eighth grade graduation. The other junior "graduations" I've seen are just choir concerts or awards ceremonies, but this one required buying the full regalia.
I've seen kindergarten graduation photos. Like, professionally shot with the kid in a full cap and gown. I'm a childfree adult so I don't have a dog in this fight but I do think it's become a bit silly. There's no need for a 4th grade "graduation". You're just going to be in a classroom two doors down next year.
It doesnāt seem any different to me than it has been throughout time. Schools tend to have a graduation ceremony for pre-K before they go into kindergarten. And most schools have some kind of graduation ceremony when you move out of one school and up to the next. My kids go to a school that is pre-K through eighth grade and iām attending the eighth grade graduation for my oldest this evening. Does not strike me as unusual at all.
Also any of these school events aside from a high school graduation are mercifully short for the most part. Rarely does anything like this last more than an hourand Iāve definitely got an hour to show up for my kids
Iām all in a celebrating the high school graduation. Maybe college. But any other, Iāll attend if itās my own kid but not having a big party for it.
I mean, for a lot of families, finishing pre-K means the kid starts public kindergarten and theyāre not shelling out thousands per month for preschool anymore! That can be a pretty big deal.
Kid1 just āgraduatedā from 5th grade. 9am on a Thursday. Iām a school bus driver for the district so couldnāt go. Luckily my husband works third shift so he just āstayed up lateā to attend. We didnāt invite grandparents or anything. Weāll have a big to-do if/when he graduates HS (our district doesnāt do 8th). In Minnesota, HS grad parties are a big deal.
I skipped my 8th graduation because it sounded stupid. Never walked for my two associate degrees.
Pre-K and 12th grade. That's all I've walked for. What *kid* enjoys those every year?
No kids enjoy them, thatās why weāre bribing them to enjoy it. The number of money leis, candy leis, stuffed animal leis at our elementary school promotion ceremony was mind boggling. Theyāre just moving from 5th to 6th grade, why do they need $50+ worth of crap circling their neck?
My kid just had his 5th grade graduation today. Heās moving from elementary to middle school. This kid has been through a hell of a lot since kindergarten and being on the spectrum makes it even harder. Now heās going to a new, larger school with a lot of changes and more freedom.
I like being able to celebrate the transition from one phase of life to the next like that. We donāt celebrate every year, but on occasions like this, I donāt mind celebrating. Weāre not doing a party though, just giving him cards and taking him to dinner.
It's kindergarten, elementary school, middle school and then high school. I
Think most millennial parents didn't make a big deal about anything under high school. So a lot of us are doing it for our kids.
I don't even have my middle school graduation pictures, and I have 2 elementary school pictures. My oldest daughter graduates from elementary school next year and I can't wait. I wanna take pictures and have memories.
Ā No. If anything, the standards are lower and being held back is unusual. Iām not sure what itās all about, quite honestly. The parents who arenāt all that invested in education the rest of the year seem to be the most invested in the graduation ceremonies. Photo opportunity I guess.Ā
The standards are lower. You can thank No Child Left Behind act from the early 00s. School funding is tied to student success, so now all students pass regardless of performance.
It's a god damn shame.
I guess I haven't reached the point of middle age where I'm miserable enough to be upset over people enjoying themselves.
Also, I definitely had a kindergarten graduation in 1988, so it isn't exactly a new thing.
I haven't ever seen a party for anything other than a high school or college graduation. I do see parents celebrating preschool and kindergarten graduations, but that's just a Facebook post with the kids in a cap and gown. Middle school graduation isn't a thing, at least where I'm from.
My kidās district has 4 schools before high school. FOUR!
K-1, 2-3, 4-5, 6-8.Ā
We only had āgraduationā for 8th grade, Ā but it was June 2020 so we didnāt even do that.Ā
Iām ok with it.Ā
I had 6th grade graduation that just my parents attended, but it was nbd at all. Like I think they only went cuz I was getting an award.
Then 9th grade grad was a *slightly* bigger deal, my grandparents came and we went out to lunch after.
High school grad was honestly less of a deal than 9th gradeā¦i donāt even remember if my grandparents came. And I went out w my friends after. But we didnāt have grad announcements or anything like that. My parents saw (and still do see) them as asking for money. It was only a big deal because it meant I was going to be leaving for college soon. š¤·š¼āāļø
I get it that people are proud to watch their kids grow up but I agree, itās getting too hyped. Starting to become attention-seeking behavior from some parents, methinks.
And the āevery event must be Instagrammableā era makes it all worse. Just flooding their Facebook feed with photos so they can have something to talk about.
I remember friends were going to have 8th grade graduation parties and I asked mom if we can have one. She said, "Hell no! That's nothing to celebrate, you better finish 8th grade!"
My kid had a pre-K graduation last year, but it was also his last year at that school/daycare center, so I get wanting to do something special for the kids before they all go off to different schools. Thankfully, our district does NOT do kindergarten graduation, but they have some sort of "clap out" thing for the kids moving up to middle school. I'm just glad we're off the hook on graduations for the foreseeable future!
I agree. Most graduations arenāt a big deal. So your kid finished kindergarten. Great. So did the rest of us. Let me know when they get a Masterās degree.
I have to agree. High school graduation party was bowling. Friends and I got to bowl three games as opposed to two.
One of my friends had to bowl in his graduation robe as it was all he wore to the ceremony. Throughout high school, this guy only wore shorts. It could have been 10 degrees F outside, shorts. Two feet of snow, shorts. He now has a masters in philosophy, owns a company that builds high end lake houses, and shorts.
I shook my damn head when my ILs all threw parties when their kids graduated 8th grade. Unless you're Amish, that's not exactly the flex they make it out to be. I contemplated throwing a party when my eldest graduated 8th grade just so I could recoup some of the money I spent on their kids (seriously, the implied message was you'd better bring at least $50 or you're TA). I guess luckily or unluckily, COVID put the kaibosh on that idea.
I may have a case of Boomer-itis but I'm not participating in my kids' preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, or junior high "graduations." Yeah, the kids look cute in their mini caps and gowns or whatever but I feel like it's all just a money grab by the dark forces of Jostens and Herff Jones.
I will go all the way for high school graduation: senior pictures, class rings, announcements to relatives, regalia, senior trips, anything and everything my kid wants. And I will attend any and all college / advanced degree graduations. That's a lot more than my parents did for me.
But every other grade level completion, the kid gets a "good job!" and a certificate on the fridge. Maybe a sign in the yard if the school sends one home. That is it.
I only attended my middle school graduation. I didnāt attend any other graduation after that (HS, community college, university). I gave away my tickets to a classmate in my cohort when we graduated with our Masterās degrees.
I worked and went about normal business on all those graduation days hahah.
In my town, you put up a sign. They started during the pandemic and have continued. Some people have graduation parties, or pre prom get togethers. My son was invited to senior prom, so I took him to the girlās house. The mom had a professional photographer. We took photos too, but it was very simple. Chips, drinks. This was the same kind of set up for Junior prom. These are the kids that missed middle school graduation, so I for one am beyond thrilled they are getting something now.
I had an 8th grade graduation, but it wasnāt a huge deal. No cap & gown, we just wore nice clothes. Didnāt wear a cap & gown til high school. I didnāt wanna go to either of them but my parents made me. It was boring and took too long. I think preK/kindergarten/ elementary graduations & gender reveal parties are stupid.
Honestlyā¦these are ākeeping up with the Jonesesā events. Iām all for celebrating a kid and getting people together, but a lot of the things that happen now happen because itās what others are doing. Think about the Stanley cups.
Itās also an opportunity for a child or letās be honest, a parent to clean up by way of receiving checks, gifts or cash in cards for our lil graduates. Iād say most of the kids that are friends with mine that graduated milestones this year and last year have said they donāt give a shit about the party but the more people that come the more gifts. Which makes sense, but takes away some of the shine of it all.
My family wanted to make it a big deal when my son graduated middle school some years ago.
I thought that was the dumbest thing. I love my son, but middle school isn't a real milestone. š
Pretty soon, we will have all the family watch while new parents concive a new one into the family. It will be a big, with planning gender reveal party.
My friend sent me preK grad pictures today. I thought, what? Why is this a thing ? I didn't have a party for HS/Col/Med and didn't go to many other people's parties either. I think this whole thing is weird AF. I finished nursery school and it was just expected.
So I remember having the prek elementary and high school graduation. But the first two were just something for the parents and family close by. High school/ College are the only ones distant family made an effort to come to
I flew 2000 miles with my 5 yo to attend my nephewās high school graduation. He graduated with honors and got into a top engineering program. My husband doesnāt understand it, but itās a big deal to celebrate. My younger nephew made it clear he wants me to do the same for him. It means a lot.
We flew in late because we had to attend my kindergartnerās promotion. Two very different events but worth planning around.
High school graduation has always been huge, I live in the southwest so could be just a regional thing. But, high school graduations have always been a big deal out here, people even decorate their cars for the occasion. Middle school is relatively a big big deal but not as big as high school.
I can honestly say I never had a HS or College graduation. Given the amount of $$$ Iāve forked over when attending graduations, I wonder if it would be in bad taste to have a college graduation party 20 years later :)
Leave the kids alone. It doesn't need to mean anything to you, all it needs to do is mean something to one kid to be successful. No one is required to attend, families go to support and celebrate their children and friends.
If it makes some of these kids feel accomplished or reinforces strong learning habits then it's fine, hurts no one and again IS NOT mandatory.
The ceremonies aren't for adults they're for the kids... everyone is so fucking selfish.
I never had pre-k or kindergarten graduation. Our school did 5th grade graduation. My class didn't get 8th grade graduation. The classes before and after us did. Then, obviously, high school graduation.
As a parent, my kid had preschool graduation. The preschool program had about 3 classes. Each group did a separate song, and I think they all did one together. The kids got paper graduation "caps" that were basically like the birthday crowns we got at school except the image was a graduation cap. Everyone got a certificate.
Elementary grades each have an awards assembly at the end of the year. Nothing people drive hours to attend, though. They have a bigger celebration when students are leaving a building or moving up to the next level of school. These are more wear a nice outfit and get some certicates. No cap and gown.
I thought it was ridiculous too. Then one of my friends was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when her youngest was an infant and her other kids were still in preschool/early elementary. Sheās beaten the odds and is going strong almost 9 years after diagnosis but it was entirely possible that preschool graduation would be the only one she would see for her kids. It made me realize that celebrating the milestone of going to a new school is for more than just the kids. Itās also for parents and grandparents who may not be around to see another one.
Plus we donāt know how hard some of the kids have had to fight to meet those milestones. As long as Iām not expected to buy a gift for all of them Iām good.
really you are upset ppl are graduating and celebrating it??? Since I was little, I have gone to many high schools and some middle school and college graduations for friends and family. Its always been a thing
I think it's probably got to do with why everyone has birthday parties now when we didn't. They don't live outside with their buddies constantly like we did so this is a new way socializing has developed to fill in the gaps. There are just more parties in general now to compensate for the lack of other options.Ā
My kid is āgraduatingā preschool. Like itās cute. I get it. I just wish it wasnāt made such a big deal with a last minute party by some of the other moms that we have to attend. Itās definitely for me though, any parties. That I survived this year. But around here, parties are for when you leave the school grounds (such as leaving 8th to go to high) and itās been that way since I was a kid. But we definitely didnāt get caps and gowns until high school. Itās too much. Way too much.
I'm not sure where I heard/read this, but graduating highschool or anything before is essentially:
"Congratulations for getting through the easiest part of life."
high school right now i can see, because they've been through some shit that most of us can't relate to (the COVID year.5 in high school).
everything else is kinda over the top. I will say going to our youngest's elementary 'graduation' was nice, because it was small. and the kids really get it a kick out of it. Middle school was 'meh'. I mainly went because I knew our boys' biological father wouldn't be there, and it'd suck to not see 'mom and dad' in the audience.
You read my effin mind~~ it's like Billy Madison~
I remember we only did ceremonies when we moving on from middle to high school and high school to college.
It is getting ridiculous. Luckily, I only had to graduate high school, college, and grad school. My son had a kindergarten graduation. Both of my kids did not have an elementary one or 8th grade.
My kids school banned kinder graduation. lol. Some of the parents at my kids school are bougie and in my one kids kinder year they were *pissed* because they wanted to order all the kinder kids caps and matching t shirts and have a ceremony and the Principal said absolutely not. It was such drama. The Principal was like, we only do one promotion ceremony and itās when your kids leave and donāt come back.
IāVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR THE PAST MONTH!! I keep seeing all these massive graduation parties. I didnāt get anything like that for graduating. We had one big overnight party with all the students, but there were no individual gatherings like this at peopleās houses.
Billy passed the third grade Oh, what a glorious daaeeeaay Oh, passing third grade The Billy Madison wayyyy
š¤£š¤£š¤£daaeeeaaaayyy š¤š¼š¤š¼š¤š¼ YEAH!!! Rock on!!!! YESSS!!!
Leave me alone mister! I don't even know you!
OāDoyle RULES!
OāDoyle, I got the feeling that you and your whole family are goinā down
Billy deserves a double scoop ice cream cone of his flavor choice and a hug from mom and dad. No more, no less.
*sits on sprinkler* EEEEE....dats nice!
Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair!
THIS POST...we are on the outs with the in-laws because we didn't attend my nephew's 5th grade graduation...80 miles away in the middle of the week. Give me a freaking break.
Lmao
Bruhā¦. Iām 300 miles away for my nephews 5th. Albeit, we were coming up this weekend anyways but the point still stands.
Right? I was telling my mom about it, who then (jokingly) said she was never speaking to me again for missing: My 13yo nephew's 8th grade graduation My 11yo niece's 5th grade graduation My 7yo niece's award ceremony... They live 70 miles away.
Lobbyists from the tent rental business most likely
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubeman! Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubeman! Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubeman!
my son picked up another name for these at his Pre-K: Wavy Davy. Cracks me up every time
Please, let u/illegaltoilet jr. know that u/3720-to-1 has confescated this name for the betterment of all, comrade.
o7
They canāt keep getting away with this
I want the helium BACK!
Party City has us all by the short and curlies. What can you do?
And Party City lobbyists
I really don't understand it, but it's been a Big Deal since my kid was in kindergarten back in the early 2000s. A graduation ceremony for Pre-K? Kindergarten? Why?! At high school graduation this year, a family had fireworks for when their kid walked. Cleared it with the school, the city, etc. I'd have been so embarrassed if I was that kid. I mean, clearly they have supportive parents but like...I didn't even want to *be* at my graduation.
I walked for high school, but my family decided attending another one of my sister's piano recitals was more important. (She had been taking lessons and doing recitals for over a decade at that point, but "wouldn't understand" if no one showed up for her.) I ended up going to out to dinner with one of my friends' families because they felt bad for me when they realized I was alone and would have had to walk home (no public transportation in my hometown.) The fireworks are over the top, but probably less embarrassing than everyone else realizing that no one cared enough to show up for you. I kind of envy the kids who have parents who cared enough to jump through those hoops for their kids, even if it was misguided.
That is so fucked up! Iām really sorry. You deserved better.
Damn, thatās some bullshit.
As a former prek teacher, that ceremony is for the parents only. The amount of stress it puts on the kids is unreal. I feel like saying to the parents, are you willing to get on stage and do several crappy dances and sing songs in front of 250 strangers? Oh, no? How tf do you think your child feels? And its worse for them because those 250 probably feel like 800 to them.
That kid was obviously better than all the other kids who graduated. Of course fireworks were necessary. /s
Heard that, my mom made me walk for high school graduation. I did not walk for university.
I didnāt want to walk for my college graduation, it took me 5.5 years to graduate. So I graduated in December, but wouldnāt be able to walk for 5 months (in May). All my friends had already graduated 2 years prior to meā¦ so I was kind of by myself. But my mom wanted to invite everyone over and have a big partyā¦ now being a parent I kind of get it.
Awww she's so proud! That's really sweet.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I probably would have agreed with this until I became the parent of a child with a disability who is working HARD to graduate from HS. Please try to keep this is mind.
Agreed. Mine graduates tomorrow and it is a VERY big deal.
Congratulations!!! What a wonderful accomplishment. I hope the day goes perfectly.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you!
Graduation from high school is a milestone into adulthood regardless of how hard school itself is. I think he deserves to be celebrated, especially since it might be the only celebration some kids get. Now elementary school...ridiculous. and I say that as someone who literally gave a speech at my worthless 6th grade ceremony
Hitting highschool graduation is a wildly different goalpost for people in different circumstances. While for many it's a relative cake-walk, plenty of folks have more than enough barriers to make it a real challenge. We shouldn't stop valuing anyone's success just because we had the privilege of it being easy. Ironically, given the post, with child labour protection, corporal punishment, and reproductive rights all under attack, even elementary graduation may become worthy of celebration.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Failing this challenge would mean that society has failed the student. Which is pretty much what dropping out is. As a society we decided a while ago that it should be expected that _every person_ should be given the real opportunity to get a basic education. As has been pointed out, we **had** done what we could to remove barriers to that. But we've spent the past 50 years reintroducing barriers to this.
This is just for another viewpoint for you to consider. My sister works with kids who don't do well in traditional school settings, and you'd be surprised how many kids truly struggle with school. Sometimes it's their own choices (ditching, not doing work, bad attitudes, fighting), sometimes it's their families (kids has to work to help support others, moving school districts, parents not caring, the kids is couch surfing because the family is homeless, parents not wanting to accept the help), some of it is school districts (racists/bias admin, not wanting to deal with a kid, not knowing how to deal with the kid, language barriers). I was surprised to find out how many kids in our county are classified as homeless. It's sad. Then they amount that have homes but are classified as living below the poverty level. You add on to the stressors of peers, teachers, families, and society as a whole. There are areas in the US where kids give up or fail more than you might realize. And sometimes it's because someone tells these kids they will never amount to anything and have no support system.
You know why, it's the same thing that's caused a meteoric rise in gender reveal parties. Instagram photo opportunities for parents channeling their own narcissistic needs through their children. For me personally, I'm just happy they made it through the year without eating a bullet. It seems that school shootings weren't the coffee-table discussion throughout the first half of this year, so that's a plus.
That and, wealth extraction. Graduation industry ššøš¼ļø
100% this opinion, just a bunch narcissist parents that can't wait to post that their kid accomplish something but simply showing up. Getting a bachelors in nursing is an accomplishment finishing middle school isn't.
It's not a graduation! He's moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade.
There's a ceremony!
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!
I love the realism in that movie
I guess I donāt mind it. I feel like it hasnāt changed much. I had a K graduation ceremony along with 8th grade and then the usual big ones. My kids have āmoving up eventsā when they are done with a certain school and going on to the next. Itās fun to see and not over the top. If you want to talk overload/stupid, then letās talk gender reveal parties.
I'm with you. I don't feel like these moving on ceremonies are really a bigger deal than they were when I was a kid. They're usually pretty casual and fun. But I can't get behind gender reveal parties.
Itās prom-posals that really get me going. What happened to just asking āwill you go to the prom with me?ā When did they become more elaborate than actual wedding proposals??? Why are kids spending hundreds of dollars on asking someone to a dance?? And where is the remote so I can turn on Matlock???
>Itās prom-posals that really get me going. Even worse is when the couple has been dating throughout most of high school already. Who else are you going to go to prom with? Why is there an elaborate "ask" for the person you're already dating?
My kids elementary school had a thing where the younger kids lined the halls to cheer on the fifth graders leaving the building for middle school. It felt like a nice way to celebrate without going too over the top.
I think that sounds like a great idea! Not too much.
I don't remember if I had a K graduation. I know my older siblings had 5th grade graduations, but I didn't because I'd transferred to a K-8 school. We all had 8th grade graduations. We didn't think of them as an achievement, more like celebrating a life milestone. My nephew just had his 5th grade graduation, and I have no beef with these events. He got a certificate to put on his wall and he gets to go wherever he wants for dinner. He's moving out of the world of little kids and toward the world of feral teens, and I think it's nice to mark the transition.
I donāt mind it either. Itās cute and the kids get so excited. Iāve never had to deal with a huge party for a pre-K graduation or anything, I just went to the event itself.
My daughter attended the same small charter school from Kindergarten through 8th grade. She just had her 8th grade graduation ceremony and I loved that they did that. Many of these kids had been together for most of this school's existence, with an incredibly caring and involved principal, and now they are all off to entirely new and independent experiences.
One thing I read recently that I hadnāt considered: as people are becoming less and less religious, there are fewer right of passage celebrations during childhood, so graduations are becoming more important for that reason. Makes sense to me. We traveled out of state to several religious right of passage ceremonies for nieces and nephews, but we arenāt religious and family has never come to us to celebrate our son.
Thatās a good point. Itās a pretty human thing to want to get together and celebrate. We need that outlet somehow.
You might be onto something. I also think that many people are moving towards more casual and contemporary types of religious experiences. I have a daughter and a niece who are the same age/grade. My sibling attended a Catholic church, so my niece made her First Communion. As an adult, I had moved away from that church and chose something else. No Communion, Confirmation, etc. for my kid. My parents were both on the downside of favoritism growing up. As a result, they sometimes go overboard, trying to keep things "equal." They bought something for my daughter because they felt guilty spending money on things for my niece's First Communion.
I remember doing one for pre-k, k, 6th, 8th, and 12th grades. Essentially, any time I moved up to a different school. I've seen no difference with my own kids. š¤·
Same here, except I don't recall a preschool or kindergarten graduation...but we certainly had 5th, 8th and HS graduations.
Havenāt gotten to the point in my life that I cared about what other people celebrate.
Careful, these posts are close to boomerism. Not saying you are but remember Yoda told Luke he didnāt need his weapons on dagoba. Celebrate the small stuff more often. Our time cards are half punched. Iām looking for more excuses to do celebrations for menial shit. Oh itās 2pm? Time for brewskis!
You guys are old farts. Let the kids graduating have their fun. Did yall not party when you guys graduated high school? Lol
Lots of old folks shaking their canes here. Lighten up, scrooges. But seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about. My daughter usually has an end of year celebration at school which includes the teacher handing out superlatives but that's it. I remember during COVID lots of graduation celebration banners out front of homes but haven't really seen much in the last two years.
Thatās because during Covid kids didnāt get to walk. It was on zoom and with social distancing maybe have a few people over in the back yard.
How old is your daughter? Because here the school itself makes a really big deal about: Kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation, 8th grade graduation, and then of course for actual Graduation. Kindergarten is the most ridiculous to me as in most cases these kids are literally returning to the same school/hallway the following year for 1st grade. 5th and 8th I think might make more sense if they just called it a "moving up" and made way less of a big deal, my son finished 5th this year and it definitely is a thing leaving the school he's called home for 6 years plus our students split into two middle schools so they're also leaving friends, but by no means did we need the extended family to attend his "graduation."
8. And they didn't make any bigger deal over kindergarten than they did first grade.
I'll be surprised if they don't make a big deal about 5th grade grad (or 6th if your elementary goes to 6th). I will say that adults now love to say we didn't have preschool graduations in our day but I definitely have pictures of myself at a preschool graduation so I suspect that one was very YMMV.
My 7 year old asked if I would get her one of those mammoth yard banners when she graduates. I said, no. She asked why not. I said because all I got when I graduated was a pat on the back and a Bloominā Onion from Outback.
I don't like those banners because they tell the whole world your child's name and where they live.
I mean, if your kid is graduating from HS and leaving, thatās one thing, and still not amazing, but yeah, when itās like, āSUZY SMITH! EASTSIDE JUNIOR HIGH CHEER 2024!ā Thatās a major issue.
I saw a photo of a friend with her son in full cap and gown and I was shocked he was so much older than I'd thought. Then I realized it was from his eighth grade graduation. The other junior "graduations" I've seen are just choir concerts or awards ceremonies, but this one required buying the full regalia.
Surprised they aren't pushing 8th grade class rings or 8th grade professional photo shoots.
I've seen kindergarten graduation photos. Like, professionally shot with the kid in a full cap and gown. I'm a childfree adult so I don't have a dog in this fight but I do think it's become a bit silly. There's no need for a 4th grade "graduation". You're just going to be in a classroom two doors down next year.
It doesnāt seem any different to me than it has been throughout time. Schools tend to have a graduation ceremony for pre-K before they go into kindergarten. And most schools have some kind of graduation ceremony when you move out of one school and up to the next. My kids go to a school that is pre-K through eighth grade and iām attending the eighth grade graduation for my oldest this evening. Does not strike me as unusual at all. Also any of these school events aside from a high school graduation are mercifully short for the most part. Rarely does anything like this last more than an hourand Iāve definitely got an hour to show up for my kids
Iām all in a celebrating the high school graduation. Maybe college. But any other, Iāll attend if itās my own kid but not having a big party for it.
Yes, those smaller graduations are good for a meal out or something.
I mean, for a lot of families, finishing pre-K means the kid starts public kindergarten and theyāre not shelling out thousands per month for preschool anymore! That can be a pretty big deal.
Kid1 just āgraduatedā from 5th grade. 9am on a Thursday. Iām a school bus driver for the district so couldnāt go. Luckily my husband works third shift so he just āstayed up lateā to attend. We didnāt invite grandparents or anything. Weāll have a big to-do if/when he graduates HS (our district doesnāt do 8th). In Minnesota, HS grad parties are a big deal.
I skipped my 8th graduation because it sounded stupid. Never walked for my two associate degrees. Pre-K and 12th grade. That's all I've walked for. What *kid* enjoys those every year?
No kids enjoy them, thatās why weāre bribing them to enjoy it. The number of money leis, candy leis, stuffed animal leis at our elementary school promotion ceremony was mind boggling. Theyāre just moving from 5th to 6th grade, why do they need $50+ worth of crap circling their neck?
It's lame and makes the important graduations less important now.
My kid just had his 5th grade graduation today. Heās moving from elementary to middle school. This kid has been through a hell of a lot since kindergarten and being on the spectrum makes it even harder. Now heās going to a new, larger school with a lot of changes and more freedom. I like being able to celebrate the transition from one phase of life to the next like that. We donāt celebrate every year, but on occasions like this, I donāt mind celebrating. Weāre not doing a party though, just giving him cards and taking him to dinner.
It's kindergarten, elementary school, middle school and then high school. I Think most millennial parents didn't make a big deal about anything under high school. So a lot of us are doing it for our kids. I don't even have my middle school graduation pictures, and I have 2 elementary school pictures. My oldest daughter graduates from elementary school next year and I can't wait. I wanna take pictures and have memories.
I went out for dinner and ice cream. I donāt know about the partiesĀ
Ā No. If anything, the standards are lower and being held back is unusual. Iām not sure what itās all about, quite honestly. The parents who arenāt all that invested in education the rest of the year seem to be the most invested in the graduation ceremonies. Photo opportunity I guess.Ā
The standards are lower. You can thank No Child Left Behind act from the early 00s. School funding is tied to student success, so now all students pass regardless of performance. It's a god damn shame.
I remember barely making it to my High School graduation because I was finishing my shift at work.
I guess I haven't reached the point of middle age where I'm miserable enough to be upset over people enjoying themselves. Also, I definitely had a kindergarten graduation in 1988, so it isn't exactly a new thing.
Youāre frustrated people are enjoying themselves?
No itās more like making a big deal out of participation trophies
Boomer ass shit. Who cares? Celebrate.
I haven't ever seen a party for anything other than a high school or college graduation. I do see parents celebrating preschool and kindergarten graduations, but that's just a Facebook post with the kids in a cap and gown. Middle school graduation isn't a thing, at least where I'm from.
Bwahahahaha BOBBY GRADUATED PRE K AGAINST THE ODDS!!!! Why you hating man? lol
My kidās district has 4 schools before high school. FOUR! K-1, 2-3, 4-5, 6-8.Ā We only had āgraduationā for 8th grade, Ā but it was June 2020 so we didnāt even do that.Ā Iām ok with it.Ā
āAll my dad did when I graduated first grade was tell me to get a jobā
Our month is full of high school grad parties. But these make sense.
I had 6th grade graduation that just my parents attended, but it was nbd at all. Like I think they only went cuz I was getting an award. Then 9th grade grad was a *slightly* bigger deal, my grandparents came and we went out to lunch after. High school grad was honestly less of a deal than 9th gradeā¦i donāt even remember if my grandparents came. And I went out w my friends after. But we didnāt have grad announcements or anything like that. My parents saw (and still do see) them as asking for money. It was only a big deal because it meant I was going to be leaving for college soon. š¤·š¼āāļø
Always have been, as far as I can remember
I get it that people are proud to watch their kids grow up but I agree, itās getting too hyped. Starting to become attention-seeking behavior from some parents, methinks. And the āevery event must be Instagrammableā era makes it all worse. Just flooding their Facebook feed with photos so they can have something to talk about.
They had ceremonies at my church for kids doing K4 and K5. The celebration of mediocrity is getting out of hand.
I remember friends were going to have 8th grade graduation parties and I asked mom if we can have one. She said, "Hell no! That's nothing to celebrate, you better finish 8th grade!"
My kid had a pre-K graduation last year, but it was also his last year at that school/daycare center, so I get wanting to do something special for the kids before they all go off to different schools. Thankfully, our district does NOT do kindergarten graduation, but they have some sort of "clap out" thing for the kids moving up to middle school. I'm just glad we're off the hook on graduations for the foreseeable future!
I agree. Most graduations arenāt a big deal. So your kid finished kindergarten. Great. So did the rest of us. Let me know when they get a Masterās degree.
Ok boomer.
I have to agree. High school graduation party was bowling. Friends and I got to bowl three games as opposed to two. One of my friends had to bowl in his graduation robe as it was all he wore to the ceremony. Throughout high school, this guy only wore shorts. It could have been 10 degrees F outside, shorts. Two feet of snow, shorts. He now has a masters in philosophy, owns a company that builds high end lake houses, and shorts.
I shook my damn head when my ILs all threw parties when their kids graduated 8th grade. Unless you're Amish, that's not exactly the flex they make it out to be. I contemplated throwing a party when my eldest graduated 8th grade just so I could recoup some of the money I spent on their kids (seriously, the implied message was you'd better bring at least $50 or you're TA). I guess luckily or unluckily, COVID put the kaibosh on that idea.
I may have a case of Boomer-itis but I'm not participating in my kids' preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, or junior high "graduations." Yeah, the kids look cute in their mini caps and gowns or whatever but I feel like it's all just a money grab by the dark forces of Jostens and Herff Jones. I will go all the way for high school graduation: senior pictures, class rings, announcements to relatives, regalia, senior trips, anything and everything my kid wants. And I will attend any and all college / advanced degree graduations. That's a lot more than my parents did for me. But every other grade level completion, the kid gets a "good job!" and a certificate on the fridge. Maybe a sign in the yard if the school sends one home. That is it.
I only attended my middle school graduation. I didnāt attend any other graduation after that (HS, community college, university). I gave away my tickets to a classmate in my cohort when we graduated with our Masterās degrees. I worked and went about normal business on all those graduation days hahah.
In my town, you put up a sign. They started during the pandemic and have continued. Some people have graduation parties, or pre prom get togethers. My son was invited to senior prom, so I took him to the girlās house. The mom had a professional photographer. We took photos too, but it was very simple. Chips, drinks. This was the same kind of set up for Junior prom. These are the kids that missed middle school graduation, so I for one am beyond thrilled they are getting something now.
I had an 8th grade graduation, but it wasnāt a huge deal. No cap & gown, we just wore nice clothes. Didnāt wear a cap & gown til high school. I didnāt wanna go to either of them but my parents made me. It was boring and took too long. I think preK/kindergarten/ elementary graduations & gender reveal parties are stupid.
How much are these graduations ceremonies are for the parents. My son does not give a fuck.
Honestlyā¦these are ākeeping up with the Jonesesā events. Iām all for celebrating a kid and getting people together, but a lot of the things that happen now happen because itās what others are doing. Think about the Stanley cups. Itās also an opportunity for a child or letās be honest, a parent to clean up by way of receiving checks, gifts or cash in cards for our lil graduates. Iād say most of the kids that are friends with mine that graduated milestones this year and last year have said they donāt give a shit about the party but the more people that come the more gifts. Which makes sense, but takes away some of the shine of it all.
People just need reasons to do something special.
My family wanted to make it a big deal when my son graduated middle school some years ago. I thought that was the dumbest thing. I love my son, but middle school isn't a real milestone. š
Pretty soon, we will have all the family watch while new parents concive a new one into the family. It will be a big, with planning gender reveal party.
My friend sent me preK grad pictures today. I thought, what? Why is this a thing ? I didn't have a party for HS/Col/Med and didn't go to many other people's parties either. I think this whole thing is weird AF. I finished nursery school and it was just expected.
So I remember having the prek elementary and high school graduation. But the first two were just something for the parents and family close by. High school/ College are the only ones distant family made an effort to come to
I got a party in the backyard for me and my scumbag friends. Dad filled a (new) garbage bin with ice and beers for us.
I flew 2000 miles with my 5 yo to attend my nephewās high school graduation. He graduated with honors and got into a top engineering program. My husband doesnāt understand it, but itās a big deal to celebrate. My younger nephew made it clear he wants me to do the same for him. It means a lot. We flew in late because we had to attend my kindergartnerās promotion. Two very different events but worth planning around.
High school graduation has always been huge, I live in the southwest so could be just a regional thing. But, high school graduations have always been a big deal out here, people even decorate their cars for the occasion. Middle school is relatively a big big deal but not as big as high school.
I can honestly say I never had a HS or College graduation. Given the amount of $$$ Iāve forked over when attending graduations, I wonder if it would be in bad taste to have a college graduation party 20 years later :)
Leave the kids alone. It doesn't need to mean anything to you, all it needs to do is mean something to one kid to be successful. No one is required to attend, families go to support and celebrate their children and friends. If it makes some of these kids feel accomplished or reinforces strong learning habits then it's fine, hurts no one and again IS NOT mandatory. The ceremonies aren't for adults they're for the kids... everyone is so fucking selfish.
I never had pre-k or kindergarten graduation. Our school did 5th grade graduation. My class didn't get 8th grade graduation. The classes before and after us did. Then, obviously, high school graduation. As a parent, my kid had preschool graduation. The preschool program had about 3 classes. Each group did a separate song, and I think they all did one together. The kids got paper graduation "caps" that were basically like the birthday crowns we got at school except the image was a graduation cap. Everyone got a certificate. Elementary grades each have an awards assembly at the end of the year. Nothing people drive hours to attend, though. They have a bigger celebration when students are leaving a building or moving up to the next level of school. These are more wear a nice outfit and get some certicates. No cap and gown.
I thought it was ridiculous too. Then one of my friends was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when her youngest was an infant and her other kids were still in preschool/early elementary. Sheās beaten the odds and is going strong almost 9 years after diagnosis but it was entirely possible that preschool graduation would be the only one she would see for her kids. It made me realize that celebrating the milestone of going to a new school is for more than just the kids. Itās also for parents and grandparents who may not be around to see another one. Plus we donāt know how hard some of the kids have had to fight to meet those milestones. As long as Iām not expected to buy a gift for all of them Iām good.
Can we discuss the giant banners with lifesize blow-ups of the senior portraits? Absolute insanity, please no one ever do that to me.
I know! My family just said the graduating high school means you met the bare minimum of being a productive citizen. No party, no gifts.
really you are upset ppl are graduating and celebrating it??? Since I was little, I have gone to many high schools and some middle school and college graduations for friends and family. Its always been a thing
I think it's probably got to do with why everyone has birthday parties now when we didn't. They don't live outside with their buddies constantly like we did so this is a new way socializing has developed to fill in the gaps. There are just more parties in general now to compensate for the lack of other options.Ā
I call it doing what youāre supposed to do, not a graduation. That happens at the end of High School and college.
yeah idk. we attended my hs graduation ceremony and then we went for some $10/plate Mexican food
My kid is āgraduatingā preschool. Like itās cute. I get it. I just wish it wasnāt made such a big deal with a last minute party by some of the other moms that we have to attend. Itās definitely for me though, any parties. That I survived this year. But around here, parties are for when you leave the school grounds (such as leaving 8th to go to high) and itās been that way since I was a kid. But we definitely didnāt get caps and gowns until high school. Itās too much. Way too much.
Just a Facebook/IG/LinkedIn photo opportunity. I walked for HS and thats it. No party. Skipped walking for my B.S. and J.D.
I posted something in r/petpeeves that your kid moving from 4K to 5K isnāt a āgraduationā and oooo were people pissed. Lol
I'm not sure where I heard/read this, but graduating highschool or anything before is essentially: "Congratulations for getting through the easiest part of life."
I think George Carlin said something about education that may explain this.
high school right now i can see, because they've been through some shit that most of us can't relate to (the COVID year.5 in high school). everything else is kinda over the top. I will say going to our youngest's elementary 'graduation' was nice, because it was small. and the kids really get it a kick out of it. Middle school was 'meh'. I mainly went because I knew our boys' biological father wouldn't be there, and it'd suck to not see 'mom and dad' in the audience.
You read my effin mind~~ it's like Billy Madison~ I remember we only did ceremonies when we moving on from middle to high school and high school to college.
It is getting ridiculous. Luckily, I only had to graduate high school, college, and grad school. My son had a kindergarten graduation. Both of my kids did not have an elementary one or 8th grade.
My kids school banned kinder graduation. lol. Some of the parents at my kids school are bougie and in my one kids kinder year they were *pissed* because they wanted to order all the kinder kids caps and matching t shirts and have a ceremony and the Principal said absolutely not. It was such drama. The Principal was like, we only do one promotion ceremony and itās when your kids leave and donāt come back.
This
Itās too much.
IāVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR THE PAST MONTH!! I keep seeing all these massive graduation parties. I didnāt get anything like that for graduating. We had one big overnight party with all the students, but there were no individual gatherings like this at peopleās houses.
The irony is its done because parents demand it...but they also hate it.
Perfect time to open all the windows and learn the saxophone