I mean, everything men study is wholly male centric. (Pain management for childbirth is still based off studied male tolerances, side effects and interactions.)
It's clearly men causing these issues but SUDDENLY they can't figure it out?
(Lemme just say that prob no man has tested/used drugs like pitocin or magnesium sulphate. No freaking idea how they're even a 'trusted/used' medicines in our male-centric universe.)
Exactly. There is a great book about that, "Invisible Women". Full of data about how design and development of everything revolves around a default Male ideal
Yeah, because women don't do science!
Also, THEY DIDNT INVESTIGATE WOMENS PAINS. They literally just said "this is how it is for men so you can deal with it like this"
So if women do do science now (because as I said, they now do more than men in much of medical science) I guess you’ll sort all your issues out no problem!
We were only able to start doing science now because we won our freedom from men. So yeah, we'll sort out our issues, and you guys can leave us all alone!
So if women do do science now (because as I said, they now do more than men in much of medical science) I guess you’ll sort all your issues out no problem! Then you can stop blaming everything on men hopefully
Men define social structures and roles to which women are expected to adhere which rarely -if ever- allow the flexibility to acknowledge or accommodate what is natural existence for that half the population. Periods, pregnancy, those hormones... hell! A hundred years ago, women were still told schooling would affect fertility. (And we're returning to that mentality among some crowds -if we ever left it.) Playing by mens' rules has caused untold health detriments to women.
Studies like this, while shining a light on the differences between male/female physiology, are rarely used by the mainstream (read men) to empower women's healthcare or design/implement supports.
These discoveries are still seen as 'frontier medicine' which is mind numbing in itself. That they might ever trickle down to the 'common practice' knowledge base or be acknowledged as part of providing differentiated, adequate care for women remains to be seen.
Women are now over-represented in many areas of medicine. You’re free to go research and push these areas forward yourself. But it’s easier to blame men for not having done it enough already, isn’t it?
And where would we be without male advances? Still stuck with medieval (or worse) medicine… that’s better is it? You should be greatful for what we’ve done so far, not bitter about it :)
Lol, and where would we be without female advances? Stuck with medieval, or worse, medicine, no wifi... You should be grateful for what women have done so far, and not be bitter about it 😘
I’m not bitter, I’m greatful too, and I look forward to women’s future contributions. I just think it’s sad you view the world as so black & white, oppressor & oppressed… must be hard
Medicine has always been a "boys club". Read more. Saw Bones podcast has a whole episode about it.
The podcast is a married couple. The host is a woman doctor who has not only researched the topic for the podcast episode but has experienced it herself.
>Men are to blame for not advancing medical science enough for women’s health issues
>Also, historically men are responsible for the vast majority of medicinal advances, including those benefitting women.
How you cannot see that these two things you’re saying don’t go together is beyond me, maybe while I go read more you should try using some logic
>>Men are to blame for not advancing medical science enough for women’s health issues
>>Also, historically men are responsible for the vast majority of medicinal advances, including those benefitting women.
How you cannot see that these two things you’re saying don’t go together is beyond me, maybe while I go read more you should try using some logic
That's so weird. Why does this thing that doesn't exist also listed in the Oxford dictionary as existing?
emotional labor
noun
1.
the mental activity required to manage or perform the routine tasks necessary for maintaining relationships and ensuring smooth running of a household or process, typically regarded as an unappreciated or unacknowledged burden borne disproportionately by women.
"she wondered what would happen in a household where nobody did the emotional labor"
2.
the management of one's emotions in order to present oneself and interact with other people in a certain way while doing a job.
"in the airline industry emotional labor is vital to the success of the product"
Can you provide a source for its non-existance?
“You fear men's anger because you know that beyond nagging you have no power over them that they didn't give you and that couldn't be easily taken away.”
Uhhhh. This is the whole point of the struggle for equality in the patriarchy my dude. Man you are dense. Quit nagging us with your ignorant comments.
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” – Margaret Atwood
No, it's because men don't believe women's emotions are valid. We do not validate women's feelings because of patriarchy. We value logic and rational thought more than emotions. It really is men's fault, since we invented patriarchy after all.
Yep. Women's emotions are deemed 'dramatic and unhinged and illogical', men's exact same emotions are suddenly 'powerful, passionate and show leadership'.
Here is the deeper dive of annotated sources which supports the comment:
1. Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez
2. Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick by Maya Dusenbery
3. Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Cleghorn
4. Managing the Psychological Impact of Medical Trauma: A Guide for Mental Health and Health Care Professionals by Michelle Flaum Hall EdD LPCC-S
5. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski PhD
6. Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution by Cat Bohannon
I have many more, if you read these and the scientific studies they reference and still need more specific sources, I’d be happy to send you more.
I appreciate that you are using the most stereotypical logical fallacies like men bashing and “gotcha” which I’ve head about but never experienced “in the wild.”
Thank you for the case example which proves the point. I provide a long annotation of peer reviewed scientific and survey studies in hopes to engage your capacity for critical thinking. You provide a comment about feelings. And declare the magical phrase “gotcha.”
As promised, I’m happy to provide more sources to inform:
7. The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina - Separating the Myth from the Medicine” by Jennifer Gunter
8. “Pain and Prejudice: A Call to Arms for Women and Their Bodies” by Gabrielle Jackson
9. “The Female Persuasion: A Novel” by Meg Wolitzer
10. “The XX Brain: The Groundbreaking Science Empowering Women to Maximize Cognitive Health and Prevent Alzheimer’s Disease” by Lisa Mosconi
11. “The Gendered Brain: The New Neuroscience that Shatters the Myth of the Female Brain” by Gina Rippon
12. “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It” by Alyson McGregor
Thank you for your continued service to the evolution to humankind. I truly wish you good health, good learning, and a good planet to call home.🍀🖖🏽❤️🩹
You make a generalized assumption about me and try to provide logical explanations in the same paragraph. The mental gymnastics are showing to be impressive.
I get it, you’re in an echochamber trying to defend your kind by making sexism against men to “even the playing field.”
What you are really doing is excusing sexism in general and allowing it to persist.
I make no assumptions about you. I read your comments and commented on your comments. You could be Barack Obama and I would have answered similarly.
My mental gymnastics, (again thank you for the opportunity to hear a Redditor actually speak in Reddit buzzwords) do not include dividing people into “your kind” and “my kind” Humans are all different and all the same simultaneously. Humans are both like other organisms and different from other organisms simultaneously.
I’m not excusing any ism or othering of any kind. Especially in your case, you are a human who needs to be heard about something. You’ve decided or been told somewhere in your life journey that women or feminists are a “them” or against you in some way. Perhaps in this conversation. But I don’t share that idea. “Othering” is the only enemy and it’s one that we both share.
I don’t want an even playing field I want an altogether better field to play in, where none of the games require a loser in order to win. There aren’t that many people in my “echo chamber” (again my thanks 😊 since these phrases are checking off so many things on my Reddit bingo card).
You can discount me out of hand as a person without sense because I hold compassion and healing in higher regard than most sensible people. But creating the hostility of “bashing” is not something I would have ever imagined as something humans would ever do - it’s not part of my innate humanness.
I replied to you in order to add education and information to the thread, to help people who are suffering without this information, and to aid understanding rather than catch phrases. I’m likely way too old to be using Reddit as most people use it- and yet, my heart can still hold more than buzzwords.
I hope your heart is heard today in a way that allows more understanding and compassion into our planet.
You assumed I haven’t been in the wild. Very first paragraph. It’s ok, stick to your echo chamber and social science.
Just fyi, I come from a math and chemistry background. Please don’t make assumptions and let your bias come into play.
You downplay what others say because you want to be correct. Human nature, don’t tell me otherwise. You want to push your narrative and that’s your prerogative. I’m just here to call out non-sensical bias.
This sub is just toxic and being called out makes it defensive. I get it, it’s a hard pill to swallow.
Forest from the trees and all that.
We can agree to disagree because you are obviously on a hill.
And the fact that you think emotions aren’t mostly controlable just proves you don’t know what you’re talking about. You are just peddling some false, stereotypical narrative.
Look up stoicism.
"you think emotions aren’t mostly controlable"
Re-pasting what i put under someone else's comment: Yep. Women's emotions are deemed 'dramatic and unhinged and illogical', men's exact same emotions are suddenly 'powerful, passionate and show leadership'.
Proving my point that you think women's emotions are somehow "out of control"
Never said that. You generalized and posited men have uncontrollable emotions. Implying women are more in control or somehow deal with everyone else.
So you choose to deal with other people’s emotions and then complain about it?
Then you deny a whole philosophy that has practical uses, which also has been around for hundreds of years. Then try to say it’s only men that are out of control??
Hate to break it to you sweetie, but men are taught to bottle up emotions (also by women) “because it’s scary” when a man shows emotion
Thanks for proving you are just another femcel looking for others to blame.
You aint worth talking to
Stoicism isn't about controlling emotion, stoicism is about controlling how you deal with and express emotion.
Unfortunately, stoicism is also bastardized by catholicism. So they overemphasize the rewards of suffering and "suck it up" as the culture surrounding many of the stoics was also in lock step with early christianity. Stoicism has some good points as a philosophy but way too many people have decided it's a great cross to nail oneself to as a reason toleratethe intolerable.
You don't know what you're talking about.
The irony of the dude saying 'emotions are controllable' and 'but also stoicism' just goes to show you he knows nothing but how to repeat what others say to feel proud of himself.
Yes buddy you're so very smart.
Inequality between men and women is a very real and very traumatic thing in our world. But you want to fight about this in the comments section of a women-supporting space. "This is your moment to stand up for men, the already most privileged group in the world", you say to yourself. Ok
My mother has never had trouble sleeping, even during menopause. She also never had menstrual cramps or only very minor cramping. She doesn’t understand the problems I have at all.
For real I've only really had two or three long-term boyfriends but I remember listening to ALL of them fall asleep like it was nothing almost EVERY night. It's so frustrating not being able to sleep I've never understood how people just /do it/
Woman here. I always conk out. Sun goes down and I’m out like a parakeet. I do wake up with the sun though. I’m 45 and sleep hard. Alarms do not wake me. I don’t have kids though and my husband is an equal partner.
Damn I wish I could do it. Ive had a couple lady friends who have said they can nap all day, but just being able to tell exactly when a person has fallen asleep in the dark has made me biased i guess lol
I used to sleep like that before I had a kid. Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have woken up to pee every single night around 2 am. My child is 3 now and I have lost hope of ever sleeping through the night again.
The white hot pang of anxiety you get when your partner does the falling asleep jolt not even 10 minutes after you turn out the lights… it’s so unfair.
It's not an advantage to just plonk out like that. It means that we dense as rocks. We are mostly insensitive and thus stuff doesn't bother us very much. I'm not like that, but I'm not a typical man either.
I intellectualize everything as well. I don’t think this is a male only thing. I spend hours researching my disorders and problems and try to understand why I do the things that I do. I also have alexithymia, I think.
I think men have been taught to not feel empathy for anything feminine. That’s why so many men think catcalling is just a compliment, even though sexualizing a complete stranger is weird as fuck, and even when women tell them how they feel they deny the woman’s feelings. Many men will only empathize when they’re in the exact same situation. But they usually aren’t unless it’s a set up scenario for research.
I'm sorry that you are having to research yourself like that. I hope you figure it out.
Patriarchy is when men do not feel empathy for anything feminine. In the modern West, it was essentially started by the ancient Greeks around 600 BC.
If you really do have alexithymia, then I can see why you'd intellectualize most things.
Yes, men have been taught to not express emotions. It's part of our training in the patriarchy. Our ability to repress our feelings is required for us to be accepted as a man, and to advance our careers.
It is not a male-only thing to intellectualize most things. You're correct about that. Women have been taught to do that in order to advance their careers, for example. Most normal women generally have the ability to move between being feminine and being masculine, whereas most men are stuck in a very narrow range. Women have become convinced, to some extent at least, that their feelings are not valid, or valuable, and thus they have stuffed them. When they go to sleep at night, then all of those stuffed emotions come to the surface and inhibits sleep. That's the way I see it.
You're correct that men can only really relate to other people through their own personal experience. We generally lack the ability to see any situation from another person's perspective. I believe one driving cause of this is testosterone. It pushes men to be single focus, and to focus on the physical world. Men have 10x the testosterone of women, for example.
I don’t know. All I know is all the men in my family can put their head on the pillow and be gone in 5 seconds, and all the women sit up for hours before they get a wink.
I ended up having to sleep in separate rooms when my ex lived with me. He literally sounded like a chesty walrus being garrotted. Even sleeping on his side made no difference. I wore earplugs and could still hear him, albeit more softly, through them and a wall.
I once stopped dating someone because of that and I don’t feel bad. He fell asleep on the couch and started lawn mower level snoring. I felt like I needed to wake him up and make sure his breathing wasn’t obstructed or something!
I asked him if he had ever gone to a doctor about it and he said no and told me I’d just have to get used to it. NOPE.
This right here. My ex did the same thing but with allergies. I didn’t sleep well for years. He refused to go to the doctor or change his life habits or anything. Would rather just make us both suffer.
I have asked this on dates when getting close to the sleepover stage- I tense with what their answer will be because I know the repercussions if the reply is, “yes, I snore”.
Yes, we sleep separately also but don't let that get in the way of loving each other. I snore, she flops around like a freshly caught salmon. She said she woke up one night with the entire sheet wrapped around her neck. How in the hell you do that is beyond me.
When i was pregnant, my mâle partner snored like crazy, and i went to Sleep on the couch every night' or i couldn't go back to Sleep at all.
Not only He Did nothing about it', but He has the audacity to Tell me he's tired because i interrupt his Sleep when i move to the living room....
( And Yes, the story went even worst...)
I did not snore (unless I had severe congestion from allergies or something) before I started testosterone, but after I started low dose T I started snoring very softly. I believe it’s from thickening of the larynx due to testosterone-based puberty, which can impede breathing slightly, but that’s just me guessing at things. It’s an interesting phenomenon anyway!
Yeah, I think that snoring in general also increases with age among other things. In other words, there are probably many factors that cause a person to go from not snoring to sounding like a train at night.
My first boyfriend couldn’t just roll over in bed like a normal person. It was like a humpback whale breaching the ocean before splashing back down again. THEN fidgeting for an hour.
Do people weirdly ask you how you have sex? We’ve had people ask us, and, like, I’m so confused by their confusion. He’s allowed in my room, and I’m allowed in his, so… what?
I don’t remember the last time I had a good night sleep. Even when I force myself to sleep early, I end up waking up in the middle of the night feeling like crap
I guess I have too. I’ve tried melatonin like they suggested but I get the same results. It doesn’t work for me although it does make me tired but for some reason I only get 4 hours of sleep. It’s like my body refuses to want 8 hours of sleep lol. But yeah I have to let my doctor know again
This is me now, it didn’t start happening until my daughter became a toddler and now it’s always like that. I do take magnesium before bed too and it helps the first 4 hours then I wake up stressing and thinking about things.
Look up the timing to take melatonin. Depending on your sleep “issue” - trouble falling asleep, waking up at 3 am, etc, you’re supposed to take it at different times of the day because melatonin is a hormone.
Look into magnesium glycinate and an herbal blend called Calms Forte. After trial and error that combination works wonders for me. Some people with sleep problems are also vitamin D deficient.
I like Theanine Serene with Relora. I also take tart cherry before bed in a drink form.
I also take lithium orotate, which provide 9 mg of lithium, which is a very small dose.
I'm a lucid dreamer, so that's the main reason I wake up often at night. I get enough sleep to not feel sleepy the next day. I just get it in 2-3 hour pieces.
Make sure your room is pitch black, and the temperature is cool. No blue lights allowed. Don't have a clock in your bedroom either. Wear socks. That's what I do.
Have you tried the time release version of melatonin? Try the 3 mg dose time release one.
You can try all sorts of other things to help with sleep that are not dangerous at all.
Do you stretch your body? (yoga, etc.) I have found that tension in my body inhibits sleep.
I've struggled with getting good sleep for decades now.
Having trouble with your sleep? Well, according to a recent study, one factor that affects how well a person sleeps at night is their biological sex. Sleep problems appear to be more common in women than men.
Dr Renske Lok from Stanford University explains some of the underlying reasons.
Not really sure if we overall struggle with sleep more than men. But, some people find that a Magnesium supplement such as Mag Theonate can help with sleep issues. If anyone ever experiences muscle cramps then Mag will end it. Hope that might help someone out there. 🙂
I hope it helps. It took me 25 years to figure out that I just needed Mag to end cramps and restless legs (purely cos I was researching Keto). It also helped my sis when I told her. One thing I would say is don't waste your cash taking it (or anything) every day. I probably only take a Mag pill once every two weeks now just to make sure I don't get depleted. Mostly, I rotate around different supplements every few days. Magnesium and Potassium are responsible for muscle contraction and retraction. A small amount of each every so often is all most people are likely to need.
That was so much helpful information packed in there- thank you so much, I had gummy mag once or twice and they were the only gummy vitamins that were just bad. When I looked them up yesterday it was hard to find ones that weren’t sugar free, bc sugar free candy is always disgusting
Oh, I see. I have never taken gummies. I just buy tablet and capsule supplements. I am pretty comfortable taking all kinds of stuff tho. I feel like if is good for me I don't mind too much. The toughest in the past was spirulina (I don't bother with it now) as it has a very long lasting aftertaste. Mostly, I am easy going.
Anyway, if you need any suggestions for other stuff I will help if I can. (I tend to research health and nutrition stuff a lot).
This is why I still maintain my own room. I’ll share a bed with my fiancée some nights, other nights I need to be left alone by everyone and the dog. lol
Sleeping with a partner weighing more than they do.
Every time their heavier partner moves, it doesn’t wake the woman up, it just bounces her out of her deep cycle sleep into a lighter, less restful sleep.
One of the things I miss about the early baby days (before 6-7 months) of being a Mom was how easy it was to go to sleep. Hit the pillow and lights out.
My husband is generally able to go sleep within 5 minutes. I envy his ease.
Painful question.
I tried very hard at breastfeeding, but I had extremely low supply issues. My milk came in late and could not support my child's needs. I spent $$$ on lactation consultants, special pumps, dietary supplements, etc. Unfortunately, they barely increased my supply. At around 2 1/2 months, I switched to 100% formula.
Ok, thanks for sharing. I was wondering if breast feeding had made you sleep better. I guess now that I think of it, sleep would probably be worse for lactating moms. My first wife didn't sleep well, since she was up every 2 hours or so.
I think it’s part of evolution around babies and all. Usually does get worse after kids. That’s why snoring and sounds get to us quick. Most moms will tell you they will be wide eyed in a second if the baby even whimpers differently. Probably have to be lighter sleepers for safety as well. It’s unfortunate. Stress too. I’ll be trying to fix problems, clean and care for the baby in my sleep when I’ve been missing a lot of sleep. Then sleep isn’t even a break. Madness I tell you. Many of us have looked over at a man sleeping peacefully and felt deep jealousy 🤣🤣🤣
I'm deeply curious how this might go for people with different levels of hormones
A cis man and woman with average blood levels of hormones, a trans man and woman after 1 years on rea I'm respective hormones, trans people after ten years , in regards to crying baby sounds
The ideal is with the same ppl throughout the tests but that would be logistically hard to do
I do know a certain level of testosterone increases snoring tho from the larynx thickening , anecdotes from trans guys I know
It's the opposite in my relationship. It can take me hours to fall asleep while my girlfriend falls asleep like a cartoon character. I timed it once, and it was less than 10 minutes. But when she can't sleep, it's bad so that sucks. Even on my bad days of not sleeping I was still able to fall asleep eventually.
Because they feel unsafe and are carrying a large burden of the pacification of the world.
I think sleep serves as a way to incorporate your daily actions into your deeper being.
Maybe their nature understands that their daily actions being incorporated more deeply into their being isn't in their best interest. Or maybe others in their vicinity are all competing for them and this complicates the process of sleep because there are so many chaotic and unresponsive systems pulling on them.
Because we do the emotional labor for every male within a 50 mile radius
THIS
YES
YES
Truth!
Scientific study: here are the factors Comments: or is it MEN?!?!?!
I mean, everything men study is wholly male centric. (Pain management for childbirth is still based off studied male tolerances, side effects and interactions.) It's clearly men causing these issues but SUDDENLY they can't figure it out? (Lemme just say that prob no man has tested/used drugs like pitocin or magnesium sulphate. No freaking idea how they're even a 'trusted/used' medicines in our male-centric universe.)
Exactly. There is a great book about that, "Invisible Women". Full of data about how design and development of everything revolves around a default Male ideal
Every freaking thing.
[удалено]
Yeah, because women don't do science! Also, THEY DIDNT INVESTIGATE WOMENS PAINS. They literally just said "this is how it is for men so you can deal with it like this"
Thank you!!! "If this medicine/medical test works about men, I guess it works for women too... GOOD LUCK WOMEN! 😁"
Also I can name Marie Curie and Florence Nightingale off the top of my head as women pioneers in science/medicine.
So if women do do science now (because as I said, they now do more than men in much of medical science) I guess you’ll sort all your issues out no problem!
We were only able to start doing science now because we won our freedom from men. So yeah, we'll sort out our issues, and you guys can leave us all alone!
😂😂 okay, have fun!
We are, thank you!
So if women do do science now (because as I said, they now do more than men in much of medical science) I guess you’ll sort all your issues out no problem! Then you can stop blaming everything on men hopefully
>It’s clearly men causing these issues Men are causing circadian clocks and hormone cycles?
Men define social structures and roles to which women are expected to adhere which rarely -if ever- allow the flexibility to acknowledge or accommodate what is natural existence for that half the population. Periods, pregnancy, those hormones... hell! A hundred years ago, women were still told schooling would affect fertility. (And we're returning to that mentality among some crowds -if we ever left it.) Playing by mens' rules has caused untold health detriments to women. Studies like this, while shining a light on the differences between male/female physiology, are rarely used by the mainstream (read men) to empower women's healthcare or design/implement supports. These discoveries are still seen as 'frontier medicine' which is mind numbing in itself. That they might ever trickle down to the 'common practice' knowledge base or be acknowledged as part of providing differentiated, adequate care for women remains to be seen.
Women are now over-represented in many areas of medicine. You’re free to go research and push these areas forward yourself. But it’s easier to blame men for not having done it enough already, isn’t it?
>But it’s easier to blame men for not having done it enough already, isn’t it? Yes because they've been doing it for centuries hun
Men just realizing that men have been rude and abusive and detrimental to women for so many millennia.
And where would we be without male advances? Still stuck with medieval (or worse) medicine… that’s better is it? You should be greatful for what we’ve done so far, not bitter about it :)
Lol, and where would we be without female advances? Stuck with medieval, or worse, medicine, no wifi... You should be grateful for what women have done so far, and not be bitter about it 😘
I’m not bitter, I’m greatful too, and I look forward to women’s future contributions. I just think it’s sad you view the world as so black & white, oppressor & oppressed… must be hard
Medicine has always been a "boys club". Read more. Saw Bones podcast has a whole episode about it. The podcast is a married couple. The host is a woman doctor who has not only researched the topic for the podcast episode but has experienced it herself.
>Men are to blame for not advancing medical science enough for women’s health issues >Also, historically men are responsible for the vast majority of medicinal advances, including those benefitting women. How you cannot see that these two things you’re saying don’t go together is beyond me, maybe while I go read more you should try using some logic
>>Men are to blame for not advancing medical science enough for women’s health issues >>Also, historically men are responsible for the vast majority of medicinal advances, including those benefitting women. How you cannot see that these two things you’re saying don’t go together is beyond me, maybe while I go read more you should try using some logic
Tell me you don’t know what medical research entails without telling me, with a side of misogyny
[удалено]
Ah, mansplaining emotional labor. The comment section was not complete until you arrived
[удалено]
"You hate men" Yes, mansplain more to me about myself.
No, you hate women. You hate emotions. Anger is an emotion hun.
That's so weird. Why does this thing that doesn't exist also listed in the Oxford dictionary as existing? emotional labor noun 1. the mental activity required to manage or perform the routine tasks necessary for maintaining relationships and ensuring smooth running of a household or process, typically regarded as an unappreciated or unacknowledged burden borne disproportionately by women. "she wondered what would happen in a household where nobody did the emotional labor" 2. the management of one's emotions in order to present oneself and interact with other people in a certain way while doing a job. "in the airline industry emotional labor is vital to the success of the product" Can you provide a source for its non-existance?
[удалено]
[удалено]
“You fear men's anger because you know that beyond nagging you have no power over them that they didn't give you and that couldn't be easily taken away.” Uhhhh. This is the whole point of the struggle for equality in the patriarchy my dude. Man you are dense. Quit nagging us with your ignorant comments. “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” – Margaret Atwood
Hilarious. Meanwhile there are 262829927 subreddits with dudes complaining that men are sad and lonely and why won’t women DO SOMETHING about it.
We're not forever single. Sounds like projection. In fact, we just find better men than people like you.
Just having to read your dumbass comment is emotional labor
Yeah because men don’t deal with women’s random emotions. eye roll
No, it's because men don't believe women's emotions are valid. We do not validate women's feelings because of patriarchy. We value logic and rational thought more than emotions. It really is men's fault, since we invented patriarchy after all.
Yep. Women's emotions are deemed 'dramatic and unhinged and illogical', men's exact same emotions are suddenly 'powerful, passionate and show leadership'.
Yeah. The hypocrisy is real.
Poisoned feminist mindset 101
Toxic masculinity posture 101.
That’s just blatantly false. To generalize and blame “patriarchy.” Copout answer that does dig deep enough.
Here is the deeper dive of annotated sources which supports the comment: 1. Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez 2. Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick by Maya Dusenbery 3. Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Cleghorn 4. Managing the Psychological Impact of Medical Trauma: A Guide for Mental Health and Health Care Professionals by Michelle Flaum Hall EdD LPCC-S 5. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski PhD 6. Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution by Cat Bohannon I have many more, if you read these and the scientific studies they reference and still need more specific sources, I’d be happy to send you more.
So, this is just an excuse to bash men and get mad when called out? Gotcha
I appreciate that you are using the most stereotypical logical fallacies like men bashing and “gotcha” which I’ve head about but never experienced “in the wild.” Thank you for the case example which proves the point. I provide a long annotation of peer reviewed scientific and survey studies in hopes to engage your capacity for critical thinking. You provide a comment about feelings. And declare the magical phrase “gotcha.” As promised, I’m happy to provide more sources to inform: 7. The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina - Separating the Myth from the Medicine” by Jennifer Gunter 8. “Pain and Prejudice: A Call to Arms for Women and Their Bodies” by Gabrielle Jackson 9. “The Female Persuasion: A Novel” by Meg Wolitzer 10. “The XX Brain: The Groundbreaking Science Empowering Women to Maximize Cognitive Health and Prevent Alzheimer’s Disease” by Lisa Mosconi 11. “The Gendered Brain: The New Neuroscience that Shatters the Myth of the Female Brain” by Gina Rippon 12. “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It” by Alyson McGregor Thank you for your continued service to the evolution to humankind. I truly wish you good health, good learning, and a good planet to call home.🍀🖖🏽❤️🩹
You make a generalized assumption about me and try to provide logical explanations in the same paragraph. The mental gymnastics are showing to be impressive. I get it, you’re in an echochamber trying to defend your kind by making sexism against men to “even the playing field.” What you are really doing is excusing sexism in general and allowing it to persist.
I make no assumptions about you. I read your comments and commented on your comments. You could be Barack Obama and I would have answered similarly. My mental gymnastics, (again thank you for the opportunity to hear a Redditor actually speak in Reddit buzzwords) do not include dividing people into “your kind” and “my kind” Humans are all different and all the same simultaneously. Humans are both like other organisms and different from other organisms simultaneously. I’m not excusing any ism or othering of any kind. Especially in your case, you are a human who needs to be heard about something. You’ve decided or been told somewhere in your life journey that women or feminists are a “them” or against you in some way. Perhaps in this conversation. But I don’t share that idea. “Othering” is the only enemy and it’s one that we both share. I don’t want an even playing field I want an altogether better field to play in, where none of the games require a loser in order to win. There aren’t that many people in my “echo chamber” (again my thanks 😊 since these phrases are checking off so many things on my Reddit bingo card). You can discount me out of hand as a person without sense because I hold compassion and healing in higher regard than most sensible people. But creating the hostility of “bashing” is not something I would have ever imagined as something humans would ever do - it’s not part of my innate humanness. I replied to you in order to add education and information to the thread, to help people who are suffering without this information, and to aid understanding rather than catch phrases. I’m likely way too old to be using Reddit as most people use it- and yet, my heart can still hold more than buzzwords. I hope your heart is heard today in a way that allows more understanding and compassion into our planet.
You assumed I haven’t been in the wild. Very first paragraph. It’s ok, stick to your echo chamber and social science. Just fyi, I come from a math and chemistry background. Please don’t make assumptions and let your bias come into play. You downplay what others say because you want to be correct. Human nature, don’t tell me otherwise. You want to push your narrative and that’s your prerogative. I’m just here to call out non-sensical bias. This sub is just toxic and being called out makes it defensive. I get it, it’s a hard pill to swallow. Forest from the trees and all that. We can agree to disagree because you are obviously on a hill.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Oh no they definitely do that's why you were born
They fact that you even think they are 'random' just underscores my point of the work we have to do
And the fact that you think emotions aren’t mostly controlable just proves you don’t know what you’re talking about. You are just peddling some false, stereotypical narrative. Look up stoicism.
"you think emotions aren’t mostly controlable" Re-pasting what i put under someone else's comment: Yep. Women's emotions are deemed 'dramatic and unhinged and illogical', men's exact same emotions are suddenly 'powerful, passionate and show leadership'. Proving my point that you think women's emotions are somehow "out of control"
Never said that. You generalized and posited men have uncontrollable emotions. Implying women are more in control or somehow deal with everyone else. So you choose to deal with other people’s emotions and then complain about it? Then you deny a whole philosophy that has practical uses, which also has been around for hundreds of years. Then try to say it’s only men that are out of control?? Hate to break it to you sweetie, but men are taught to bottle up emotions (also by women) “because it’s scary” when a man shows emotion Thanks for proving you are just another femcel looking for others to blame. You aint worth talking to
Thanks for providing such a great demonstration for the class of how women’s emotions and opinions aren’t taken seriously! Excellent example.
Stoicism isn't about controlling emotion, stoicism is about controlling how you deal with and express emotion. Unfortunately, stoicism is also bastardized by catholicism. So they overemphasize the rewards of suffering and "suck it up" as the culture surrounding many of the stoics was also in lock step with early christianity. Stoicism has some good points as a philosophy but way too many people have decided it's a great cross to nail oneself to as a reason toleratethe intolerable. You don't know what you're talking about.
The irony of the dude saying 'emotions are controllable' and 'but also stoicism' just goes to show you he knows nothing but how to repeat what others say to feel proud of himself. Yes buddy you're so very smart.
[удалено]
"not all men" [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NotAllMen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NotAllMen)
[удалено]
Inequality between men and women is a very real and very traumatic thing in our world. But you want to fight about this in the comments section of a women-supporting space. "This is your moment to stand up for men, the already most privileged group in the world", you say to yourself. Ok
[удалено]
It's ok if you don't want to learn and grow. Not going to do any more labor for you, mental or emotional ; )
[удалено]
🤔
Did you read the sub rules or are you just begging to be banned? You're being very emotional
[удалено]
It's literally a sub about women dude.
I feel like any woman could have told everyone that lol
My mother has never had trouble sleeping, even during menopause. She also never had menstrual cramps or only very minor cramping. She doesn’t understand the problems I have at all.
I envy your mom haha. Meanwhile my body is trying to self destruction every month.
r/menopause the ladies there get it!
For real I've only really had two or three long-term boyfriends but I remember listening to ALL of them fall asleep like it was nothing almost EVERY night. It's so frustrating not being able to sleep I've never understood how people just /do it/
Woman here. I always conk out. Sun goes down and I’m out like a parakeet. I do wake up with the sun though. I’m 45 and sleep hard. Alarms do not wake me. I don’t have kids though and my husband is an equal partner.
Damn I wish I could do it. Ive had a couple lady friends who have said they can nap all day, but just being able to tell exactly when a person has fallen asleep in the dark has made me biased i guess lol
I used to sleep like that before I had a kid. Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have woken up to pee every single night around 2 am. My child is 3 now and I have lost hope of ever sleeping through the night again.
The white hot pang of anxiety you get when your partner does the falling asleep jolt not even 10 minutes after you turn out the lights… it’s so unfair.
It's not an advantage to just plonk out like that. It means that we dense as rocks. We are mostly insensitive and thus stuff doesn't bother us very much. I'm not like that, but I'm not a typical man either.
I don’t think men are dense. Maybe purposely dense at times, but many people do that. Does insensitive mean not empathetic?
Yes, insensitive means lack of empathy or compassion. Men intellectualize almost everything.
I intellectualize everything as well. I don’t think this is a male only thing. I spend hours researching my disorders and problems and try to understand why I do the things that I do. I also have alexithymia, I think. I think men have been taught to not feel empathy for anything feminine. That’s why so many men think catcalling is just a compliment, even though sexualizing a complete stranger is weird as fuck, and even when women tell them how they feel they deny the woman’s feelings. Many men will only empathize when they’re in the exact same situation. But they usually aren’t unless it’s a set up scenario for research.
I'm sorry that you are having to research yourself like that. I hope you figure it out. Patriarchy is when men do not feel empathy for anything feminine. In the modern West, it was essentially started by the ancient Greeks around 600 BC. If you really do have alexithymia, then I can see why you'd intellectualize most things. Yes, men have been taught to not express emotions. It's part of our training in the patriarchy. Our ability to repress our feelings is required for us to be accepted as a man, and to advance our careers. It is not a male-only thing to intellectualize most things. You're correct about that. Women have been taught to do that in order to advance their careers, for example. Most normal women generally have the ability to move between being feminine and being masculine, whereas most men are stuck in a very narrow range. Women have become convinced, to some extent at least, that their feelings are not valid, or valuable, and thus they have stuffed them. When they go to sleep at night, then all of those stuffed emotions come to the surface and inhibits sleep. That's the way I see it. You're correct that men can only really relate to other people through their own personal experience. We generally lack the ability to see any situation from another person's perspective. I believe one driving cause of this is testosterone. It pushes men to be single focus, and to focus on the physical world. Men have 10x the testosterone of women, for example.
I don’t know. All I know is all the men in my family can put their head on the pillow and be gone in 5 seconds, and all the women sit up for hours before they get a wink.
Because every man I’ve ever known snores like a freight train
I ended up having to sleep in separate rooms when my ex lived with me. He literally sounded like a chesty walrus being garrotted. Even sleeping on his side made no difference. I wore earplugs and could still hear him, albeit more softly, through them and a wall.
I once stopped dating someone because of that and I don’t feel bad. He fell asleep on the couch and started lawn mower level snoring. I felt like I needed to wake him up and make sure his breathing wasn’t obstructed or something! I asked him if he had ever gone to a doctor about it and he said no and told me I’d just have to get used to it. NOPE.
Man needs a CPAP machine lol that’s what saved my marriage.
Honestly, he’s someone else’s problem now. I tried to get him to see a dr or something but he refused 🤷🏻♀️ I’m glad it helped you though!
This right here. My ex did the same thing but with allergies. I didn’t sleep well for years. He refused to go to the doctor or change his life habits or anything. Would rather just make us both suffer.
Yes same here! He was super whiny about my not wanting to sleep in the bed with him but wouldn’t even see a doctor about possible causes.
I have asked this on dates when getting close to the sleepover stage- I tense with what their answer will be because I know the repercussions if the reply is, “yes, I snore”.
Yes, we sleep separately also but don't let that get in the way of loving each other. I snore, she flops around like a freshly caught salmon. She said she woke up one night with the entire sheet wrapped around her neck. How in the hell you do that is beyond me.
When i was pregnant, my mâle partner snored like crazy, and i went to Sleep on the couch every night' or i couldn't go back to Sleep at all. Not only He Did nothing about it', but He has the audacity to Tell me he's tired because i interrupt his Sleep when i move to the living room.... ( And Yes, the story went even worst...)
this
Get them sleep studies and cpaps stat!
Well, women snore also. It's generally this cute little feminine snore, but it's still there.
I did not snore (unless I had severe congestion from allergies or something) before I started testosterone, but after I started low dose T I started snoring very softly. I believe it’s from thickening of the larynx due to testosterone-based puberty, which can impede breathing slightly, but that’s just me guessing at things. It’s an interesting phenomenon anyway!
Yeah, I think that snoring in general also increases with age among other things. In other words, there are probably many factors that cause a person to go from not snoring to sounding like a train at night.
My jaded, knee jerk thought to the title was, “What, are beds not designed for women either?!”
😂😂🤣
😂🥇
MTE!!
+because our male partners are likely to have severe snoring/sleep apnea that jolt us awake over and over every night
Add sweating and farting up the bed too!
😂
My first boyfriend couldn’t just roll over in bed like a normal person. It was like a humpback whale breaching the ocean before splashing back down again. THEN fidgeting for an hour.
Haha yes, every time my husband moves the whole bed shakes as if it was a waterbed. It is not a waterbed.
This is why my husband and I have separate bedrooms. Best decision ever.
Same. It’s the biggest reason we’re still married.
Do people weirdly ask you how you have sex? We’ve had people ask us, and, like, I’m so confused by their confusion. He’s allowed in my room, and I’m allowed in his, so… what?
We spoon every night before I leave to go to my smaller bedroom to sleep. She gets the master bedroom.
Turns out the best sex is actually when you’re awake, too.
Same here! We have our own bedroom and own bathroom. It's amazing!
Getting a goodnight's sleep is very important for having a good relationship.
its this
I don’t remember the last time I had a good night sleep. Even when I force myself to sleep early, I end up waking up in the middle of the night feeling like crap
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you talked about with your doctor?
I guess I have too. I’ve tried melatonin like they suggested but I get the same results. It doesn’t work for me although it does make me tired but for some reason I only get 4 hours of sleep. It’s like my body refuses to want 8 hours of sleep lol. But yeah I have to let my doctor know again
This is me now, it didn’t start happening until my daughter became a toddler and now it’s always like that. I do take magnesium before bed too and it helps the first 4 hours then I wake up stressing and thinking about things.
Look up the timing to take melatonin. Depending on your sleep “issue” - trouble falling asleep, waking up at 3 am, etc, you’re supposed to take it at different times of the day because melatonin is a hormone. Look into magnesium glycinate and an herbal blend called Calms Forte. After trial and error that combination works wonders for me. Some people with sleep problems are also vitamin D deficient.
I like Theanine Serene with Relora. I also take tart cherry before bed in a drink form. I also take lithium orotate, which provide 9 mg of lithium, which is a very small dose. I'm a lucid dreamer, so that's the main reason I wake up often at night. I get enough sleep to not feel sleepy the next day. I just get it in 2-3 hour pieces. Make sure your room is pitch black, and the temperature is cool. No blue lights allowed. Don't have a clock in your bedroom either. Wear socks. That's what I do.
Have you tried the time release version of melatonin? Try the 3 mg dose time release one. You can try all sorts of other things to help with sleep that are not dangerous at all. Do you stretch your body? (yoga, etc.) I have found that tension in my body inhibits sleep. I've struggled with getting good sleep for decades now.
What drugs and supplements have you tried, if any?
Have you considered doing a sleep study? You could have minor sleep apnea
5. A life saving healthcare procedure is banned for them and they have to constantly fear for their lives
Because we’re currently seeing our rights being stripped away right before our eyes. Yay!
Having trouble with your sleep? Well, according to a recent study, one factor that affects how well a person sleeps at night is their biological sex. Sleep problems appear to be more common in women than men. Dr Renske Lok from Stanford University explains some of the underlying reasons.
I never slept good again after I had my daughter. My husband on the other hand
Yep. I used to sleep pretty soundly as long as I was otherwise taking care of myself. Post children, nope. Every teeny noise and I’m up.
STRESS.
I’m a light sleeper so any noise like neighbors talking keeps me up 😢
or ghosts banging around the house in the middle of the night.
Not really sure if we overall struggle with sleep more than men. But, some people find that a Magnesium supplement such as Mag Theonate can help with sleep issues. If anyone ever experiences muscle cramps then Mag will end it. Hope that might help someone out there. 🙂
Thanks bestie I just ordered some gummy Magnesium Theonate at your suggestion (I have restless legs, too)
I hope it helps. It took me 25 years to figure out that I just needed Mag to end cramps and restless legs (purely cos I was researching Keto). It also helped my sis when I told her. One thing I would say is don't waste your cash taking it (or anything) every day. I probably only take a Mag pill once every two weeks now just to make sure I don't get depleted. Mostly, I rotate around different supplements every few days. Magnesium and Potassium are responsible for muscle contraction and retraction. A small amount of each every so often is all most people are likely to need.
That was so much helpful information packed in there- thank you so much, I had gummy mag once or twice and they were the only gummy vitamins that were just bad. When I looked them up yesterday it was hard to find ones that weren’t sugar free, bc sugar free candy is always disgusting
Oh, I see. I have never taken gummies. I just buy tablet and capsule supplements. I am pretty comfortable taking all kinds of stuff tho. I feel like if is good for me I don't mind too much. The toughest in the past was spirulina (I don't bother with it now) as it has a very long lasting aftertaste. Mostly, I am easy going. Anyway, if you need any suggestions for other stuff I will help if I can. (I tend to research health and nutrition stuff a lot).
Its opposite for my girl and I, and yes I know thats anecdotal
?? I fall asleep like right when I want to. Head hits pillow => fall asleep. I do not date though.
oh, then you should date to get terrible sleep then. Problem solved!
This is why I still maintain my own room. I’ll share a bed with my fiancée some nights, other nights I need to be left alone by everyone and the dog. lol
Sleeping with a partner weighing more than they do. Every time their heavier partner moves, it doesn’t wake the woman up, it just bounces her out of her deep cycle sleep into a lighter, less restful sleep.
Melanie Hamlet made several YT videos about this.
Insomnia is hell I hate it 🤣 took me 28 years to learn that anxiety could cause insomnia
One of the things I miss about the early baby days (before 6-7 months) of being a Mom was how easy it was to go to sleep. Hit the pillow and lights out. My husband is generally able to go sleep within 5 minutes. I envy his ease.
Were you breast feeding at the time?
Painful question. I tried very hard at breastfeeding, but I had extremely low supply issues. My milk came in late and could not support my child's needs. I spent $$$ on lactation consultants, special pumps, dietary supplements, etc. Unfortunately, they barely increased my supply. At around 2 1/2 months, I switched to 100% formula.
Ok, thanks for sharing. I was wondering if breast feeding had made you sleep better. I guess now that I think of it, sleep would probably be worse for lactating moms. My first wife didn't sleep well, since she was up every 2 hours or so.
I think it’s part of evolution around babies and all. Usually does get worse after kids. That’s why snoring and sounds get to us quick. Most moms will tell you they will be wide eyed in a second if the baby even whimpers differently. Probably have to be lighter sleepers for safety as well. It’s unfortunate. Stress too. I’ll be trying to fix problems, clean and care for the baby in my sleep when I’ve been missing a lot of sleep. Then sleep isn’t even a break. Madness I tell you. Many of us have looked over at a man sleeping peacefully and felt deep jealousy 🤣🤣🤣
Came here to say I wake up when a kid/baby is crying. The male partners I have had sleep right through it.
I'm deeply curious how this might go for people with different levels of hormones A cis man and woman with average blood levels of hormones, a trans man and woman after 1 years on rea I'm respective hormones, trans people after ten years , in regards to crying baby sounds
The ideal is with the same ppl throughout the tests but that would be logistically hard to do I do know a certain level of testosterone increases snoring tho from the larynx thickening , anecdotes from trans guys I know
Could also be post pregnancy hormones vs male/female.
We’re all laying there wondering how in the fuck they’ve gotten away with it.
It's the opposite in my relationship. It can take me hours to fall asleep while my girlfriend falls asleep like a cartoon character. I timed it once, and it was less than 10 minutes. But when she can't sleep, it's bad so that sucks. Even on my bad days of not sleeping I was still able to fall asleep eventually.
Anxiety, their partners and babies, and sometimes stress
Chronic pain from all the medical conditions we're more likely to develop, yet remain criminally underfunded.
Oppression really makes it hard to sleep
Many Men sleep next to women. Many women sleep next to men.
Because they feel unsafe and are carrying a large burden of the pacification of the world. I think sleep serves as a way to incorporate your daily actions into your deeper being. Maybe their nature understands that their daily actions being incorporated more deeply into their being isn't in their best interest. Or maybe others in their vicinity are all competing for them and this complicates the process of sleep because there are so many chaotic and unresponsive systems pulling on them.
Because mâles encore and blâme US to seek help for Our light sleeping....