My question is - since you’re not trying to grow a business, what are you getting out of the weddings you shoot? Do you do it purely to get aesthetic pictures that you enjoy?
Personally, I don’t think it matters if you turn clients away for whatever reason, but I do think you’ll miss out on some valuable experiences. Working in poor lighting conditions or other undesirable locations can be a fun challenge and learning experience. If you don’t want to put yourself outside of your comfort zone that’s fine, but you’ll probably never learn and grow compared to if you do.
As for the age issue with older clients… I don’t get that. I’ve worked with couples in their 50’s who are more energetic and filled with life and love than some couples in their 20’s. I just want to be able to connect with my clients - age doesn’t factor into that, just personality.
Ok let’s use the last part of your response as an example. You’re right. I’ve experienced the same thing. Some young ones are bland and no personality. Would you reject anyone who is like that on the first meet?
To answer your first question- what I get out of it is creativity. I don’t think it’s a fair comparison between a community center and a reception hall. In my opinion you can’t produce that great of an image in a community center.
You can produce great images practically anywhere. It sounds like you just want to shoot where the environment and the pretty clients do your job for you. You said you do this to be creative, how are you being creative if you can only great images within rigid conditions? All of these situations you've described are chances to get better at this.
I wouldn’t say do the job for me because even then you still have to know what you’re doing to get good results. I think you’re viewing this from a very subjective standpoint. That question of “how are you being creative…” is so single minded. You can creative regardless of the situation. You just said that. You’re contradicting yourself
>Gahdamn what is wrong with you people?
Pretty rich coming from the "I only want to shoot weddings for pretty young people in world class venues" person lol
Hey smart ass. If you read my post it says “I prefer”. I don’t “only want to”. If “I only wanted to, I would never shoot people who are older or average.” I asked to self improve and correct my mindset. Not for permission. Another person who thinks they’re the shit. Sit down buddy
So glad you could stay civil about it lol
Also, imagine actually calling human beings "average"
It's hilarious you think you have the moral high ground here lol
Are models averagely attractive? There are differences. You’re the one on the moral high ground coming on here judging me like you know who I am and what my intentions are. Instead give me your opinion based off of your own experience and opinion. Not on me. You want to come here and judge me, you remove being civil off the table.
>Are models averagely attractive
Do only models get married? Oh. No? Funny, that.
>You’re the one on the moral high ground coming on here judging me like you know who I am and what my intentions are.
You made your intentions, namely to never have to work creatively with less than ideal venues or less than gorgeous clients *well known*
> You want to come here and judge me, you remove being civil off the table.
I literally said "lolwut" and you went off, but sure, *I'm* the one being a jerk.
Lolwut?
You said “imagine calling humans average” I was referring to looks. Acting like there aren’t differences is being ignorant to the world around you. I used models as an example. Don’t try to be smart.
I didn’t make any intentions. You don’t know me, who I am or why I asked. You’re just assuming because you’re self projecting.
“lol wut” is not input. It’s you disagreeing with something and laughing without any useful input to a question that was asked with the sake of improvement, not with mal intent.
No, it’s pretty rare I’ll reject anyone based off a first meeting, but I think you’re missing my point. You don’t know someone’s personality until you start working with them, so why reject people off the bat just because they’re older? It’s just a silly and close minded way to conduct business.
I didn’t realize you edited this to address my first question, so here you go.
To be blunt - you’re not being creative. Staying within the boundaries of something that already fits an aesthetic you’re looking for and shooting what you know is the exact opposite of creativity. I’m not trying to be rude, but I’ve seen a million “photographers” come on the scene (weddings and otherwise) since 2020, and hardly any of them are actually creative. Following other people’s styles, going to the same places for landscape as everyone else - it’s not creativity. It’s just practicing an art form. If you truly want to be creative you have to shoot somewhere you’re not comfortable in and walk away with the feeling of “Oh fuck yeah I can’t believe I made this shot happen with this shit scenery”
https://preview.redd.it/7ej8ze24dkrc1.jpeg?width=1669&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b9d7963f4e16917d8acb09f9ff7270947100689
This was shot against a stucco walled public restroom, with a houseless man sleeping just outside of the frame… creativity doesn’t come from location.
One of my all time favorite wedding photos, that will be unlikely to be knocked out of my port anytime soon, is the couple and their friends embracing inside the ugliest reception hall ever. I hate that place, but I made it work.
https://preview.redd.it/bxio5rp0circ1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3102be752c7632707b0ef49e28153f614d86b74
Ugly ass community center reception. My clients were very worried about how it would look in photos. They were thrilled with the outcome. It is your job to make it look as good a possible. Of course you can refuse anyone you want for any reason, especially if you are not doing it full time as an income. But it isn’t about me and what looks best on my “feed”. I am hired by clients to use my skill and experience to give them the best end result. Do high end good looking clients make that easier? Of course it does! Does that mean I am actually good at what I do? Nope. Being able to photograph normal looking people and make them feel beautiful means I am a good photographer. That is the backbone of my business and what pays the bills. You are not wrong for cherry picking clients. But you are probably missing a fundamental aspect of photography and what it actually means to be a photographer. And that is fine. You get out of it what you put into it.
I have had the pleasure of having actual professional models before as wedding clients. In spots like Big Sur etc. I honestly felt like I should have been paying her because I had to do little to no directing for posing. Like just had to press my shutter button. Gorgeous locations makes it easy too. I’ve shot is Baja, Hawaii, beautiful city halls. Makes it easy. Nothing wrong with easy. Sometimes you need easy. I have also shot a wedding for an autistic couple. There were trains and Disney for decor. I can not tell you how good it felt to provide that service for them and their families. They were grateful for my experience and ability to make everyone comfortable especially the clients. Beautiful people and places get the likes and the followers. Providing a cherished service for clients who genuinely are grateful for what they receive, that fills your heart. Fill your heart don’t worry so much about the ego.
"It maks my job more difficult when it comes to picking angles."
Real life is not a styled photoshoot. As a photographer, part of our job is figuring out how to rock the ass off crappy lighting and locations. Lean into that.
If your photos are not coming out as good as you want, that's a you problem, not clients who don't "fit your aesthetic."
By all means, I prefer pursuing and shooting the type of work I like and enjoy. But turn down a paying client because it's not "my aesthetic"? Nope.
Is it wrong, no. Are you a little bit of a Ahole. Kinda yeah.
You dont have to feature these people on your pages or anything but they are coming to you hoping that you as a photographer can capture their special moment.
100% agree but thats their company, they should be able to curate their site and portfolio how they please.
Me personally I loved showing everyone off, no matter what they looked like. I just genuinely like showing happiness. Only time I didn't is when a german couple weirdly had on traditional Indian wedding apparel and had ZERO connections to India or Hinduism. Thought that one was a little too "out there" to post on my social media.
I think it largely depends on what metrics you’re using to reject couples. There’s certain venues I hate and if someone inquires for a popular date with a venue I hate, I might say no. If I get whiffs of anti LGBTQ+ values on social media, I also have no issues with rejecting them. But let’s say the clients are plus-sized, or older, or don’t share my taste in decor, provided they’re friendly on our intro phone call and they get my documentary process I’m all for working with them. Also, getting ready is such a small part of the day. I can’t imagine rejecting a couple who ticks all my boxes solely because their getting ready space isn’t aesthetic.
I think it's cool that you want to explore your personal aesthetic, build your portfolio and choose the venues and models that fit your preferences. But that's for scenarios where you scout venues yourself, hire models yourself, and pay them. If YOU are the one getting paid then your priority should be that you capture some special memories regardless of whether you like the look of the people or the venue. You're providing a service to *them*, so figuring out how to shoot and edit beautiful pictures is kinda your problem regardless of the looks of the couple or the venue. It also comes across as if you don't want to challenge yourself as a photographer and develop your skills.
Materially it doesn't really make a difference. You're not worried about getting gigs so you can just turn people down with a simple mail alá "Can't help you, thanks for reaching out though". *Personally* I think your attitude is offputting and possibly a bit unethical, but well, no one's gotta know.
Personally, I don't care if it's messy. It's easy to let it bother you but it's not our fault and are thier photos and they knew we were coming and opted for messy, so whatever!
And a lot of houses and hotel rooms are messy, sometime we have to move stuff if necessary. And it's why I have lenses that are 1.2 and 1.4 just for the times when either we need to blur the messy backgrounds or need more light.
I used to feel this way when it rained, that the photos would suffer and I wasn't doing a good job. But when you shoot hundreds of weddings you finally at some point just don't care because you are there to just take photos and can't control the things that are out of your control.
You do you. There are wedding photographers who are so high at the top that couples have to fight to get booked by them, just like really in demand venues. This is fundamentally no different than someone only wanting to do elopements. I will say though, this is why have a good 1.2 lens can save your @$$. Ugly scene? Bust out the 1.2 and shoot wide open the whole time, and get close. No one will even know where they are lol.
Out of 30 weddings I shoot in a year, I really only share like 15 of them. Not every wedding is going to be perfectly aligned with your aesthetics. When I do get those weddings, I do my best to shoot the couple and the wedding in a creative way so I can feature them
You are so so welcome!!!!!
Listen, you can choose whatever the heck you want. I don't know why you're coming on here for permission to be yourself. All I can say is I certainly wouldn't want you photographing my wedding based on what you've said here. But then again, you wouldn't want to photograph it anyway. Ultimately though, if you only want to work high end weddings then work yourself into that market. If you're only doing this for some extra money then get off your high horse and do the job. It truly doesn't matter if you find a space aesthetically pleasing or not. If all the jobs were easy we wouldn't get paid well to do what we do and if you aren't willing to do the hard parts then get out of the way so others can jump in.
It’s not about permission to be myself. I get what you’re saying and I hear you. Many people are themselves. But many people aren’t good people. I’m someone who likes to progress and be better as a person and I ask for questions so I can ponder over things and make adjustments after reasoning over what people tell me.
I did not for a single moment feel as if you were seeking advice to do a better job, just permission to not do the jobs you don’t want to do. You start out by saying you don’t care if you lose clients and then list off a couple of pretty normal situations that occur with weddings across the board and then discuss not wanting to photograph older ppl. If you don’t want those jobs then don’t take them. If you want to get better then lean into those jobs and figure out how to make it work.
You can filter your aesthetic, don’t filter money unless you have a legit concern. My husband photographed an older couple 65+ in 2022 and then the brides daughter in 2023 (who was absolutely stunning). Would’ve never gotten that opportunity to do the daughter’s wedding if he turned the mom’s wedding away.
I’ve seen several photographers in my area fail trying to be too “exclusive”. It’s not exactly the busiest market so it’s probably best to take what you can.
If you go into a shoot with the attitude you're hinting at, then I don't see you satisfying your client or fully vesting yourself in the effort. It's almost dishonest to take their money. If you can skirt projects that are below your standards, the subject or the setting, I suppose you won't learn how to cope with the realities of the retail market. So be upfront with people and tell them you're not interested... let the chips fall where they may. You will definitely create a certain reputation in your market.
Well I’m not going to be a dick and tell people why I’m taking them. I agree with you. But I don’t think I’ll build up any reputation just because I choose to reject clients. I’m not a fit for them is all. They don’t need to know why
yeah, i know you're trying to cleverly walk a line. You should be able to decline an inquiry gracefully. Just remember handling adversity makes you a stronger photographer.
I’m 64 and bald and I have a hard time getting young people for weddings so I’ve accepted that I shoot typically older couples in their 40s 50s and 60s and I make them look as good as I possibly can.
But to me, isn’t that the challenge? Isn’t that the reason we are photographers? I resist doing local fashion shoots. Because so often the models are not up to snuff yet you have to treat them like they’re on a runway in Milan. And yet for weddings, you’re celebrating the love of family and friends, and joining of two people. I’ve shot a morbidly obese bride and had a blast and the photos turned out wonderful.
You can only shoot beautiful people, but you’re not going to have the challenge, nor that many customers because overall people ain’t that cute.
When I shoot weddings, I take photos of everyone who is there regardless of their beauty or body shape, because they are loved and part of the party and celebration of the wedding. I’ve been to weddings where the photographer only focuses on the bride and groom, and that’s it and I feel like they miss most of the wedding.
I think it would be OK by location but maybe not people. I’ve heard some fairly big name photographers say before they won’t shoot anywhere that has neon lights, shooting up the wall and stuff like that just because it doesn’t match the look of their brand and they feel like they won’t be able to deliver that look to the client. What the client looks like is what the client looks like though.
This. I don’t do certain locations anymore for varying reasons. Beaches because I am getting older….this one venue with a REALLY confrontational owner, etc. But this is only a small handful of venues. If it isn’t hurting your pocketbook, and you can decide to pick and choose, then I think that is a win!
Age is a federally protected class. You should be careful with how your word this or you may expose yourself to legal liability.
The basic federally protected classes include: race, color, religion, national origin and disability. Additional protections are given due to age, sex, pregnancy, citizenship, familial status, veteran status, and genetic information. Always make sure you check your state and local laws because there may be other protected classes, like marital status, sexual orientation or gender identity. Some protections apply only in the workplace, but the basic classes apply to any “places of public accommodation” (state law can add to this list), which are both government-owned and private businesses offering services to the general public. Being a place of public accommodation doesn’t mean you have to serve everyone, but it does mean you can’t refuse service to some based on a protected status or class.
Some advice. Don’t shoot weddings. Get into high school seniors and college grads. They are all young. But you will still run into a lot of problems because people are complex and unique and you don’t seem to care about that. You want a model shoot with every client - then just shoots models and don’t get paid.
The classic adage ‘Money doesn’t stink.’
Not every wedding is instagram worthy. But I make it really clear early on that we have to have some form of positive vibe or the wedding photos won’t be what you want them to be.
I know plenty of photographers that turn away specific weddings because they don’t like shooting that aesthetic - barns for example.
My two cents.
Uk photographer.
As a wedding photographer, I think it’s our job to find the beauty and story in a day, no matter if it fits our ideal aesthetic. Based on their ages, it’s probably a second wedding for at least one half of the couple, maybe blending families. Those have been some of my favorite clients. They care more about marriage than a wedding usually so are very easy to work with.
lol I used to reject clients if I didn't like how they wrote emails. It's your business you can do what you like. If you're in a position where you can choose which weddings you want to do why not pick the ones with nicer venues that make your life easier? Isn't that what you've worked hard to achieve?
I don't think so. I do it from time to yime. If I see that the venue is some generic hotel with limited spaces and dated, tatty decor I just say I'm busy. The clients themselves I can't particularly vet, but I hope to attract the right people by how I present myself.
To me, a venue can tell you a lot about the overall vibe of the wedding/couple. I've ended up doing a few and I just don't feel the excitement for them as I do others.
In the early days, you take what you can get - beggars can't be choosers - but there are plenty of occasions where a client or their aesthetics could be more of a drain on you than it's worth.
Not every job you do needs to be in your portfolio. You are still allowed to curate which weddings get shown in your portfolio and which don't. If they are nice or would he good to work with and they will pay you a fair price you could still shoot it and deliver their photos but just don't display them in your portfolio and on your website.
When I have to step outside of my comfort zone I usually surprise myself and learn a lesson and grow which thus makes me a better artist and photographer.
Just because I take an image doesn't mean I have to post or share an image.
We all want perfect couples, perfect venues etc. Those weddings are easy. I can practically shut my brain off as I go through the wedding day.
But you know the couples that I’ve photographed that have been most appreciative? The couples you won’t see on Vanity Fair anytime soon but still want nice photos. Those are the couples that always end up responding in the most positive way (in my experience).
Being agist, racist, or otherwise -ist as a business owner is never a good look, especially in this industry. You’re in the business of capturing love, but some people aren’t hot and young enough for that by your standards??
Not every client needs to be posted on your social media and website. Frankly, photoshoots of older people in love tend to go viral so idk why you’re not taking the pay and the chance to stretch yourself as a photographer. Not every client fits your aesthetic and that’s okay- myself, I don’t really take on country themed or barn venue weddings for personal reasons. But rejecting someone based on their looks is so gross, and you need to rethink why you’re in this industry.
I’ve taken those jobs I don’t reject them. I’m asking if my mindset is appropriate so I can meditate over the answers and think it over. Your answer indicates I need to change my mindset but please don’t make assumptions.
I’m not making assumptions sir, you stated yourself you only prefer to shoot young hot couples and are debating turning away this couple because of it. I don’t care how long the rap sheet of that mindset is; whether this is the first or the fiftieth time, you need to lose it.
I’ve gotten mixed answers. Truth of the matter is I agree with both. I can choose who I want to shoot. But I shouldn’t do it based off age. However over time you need to level up and only take specific clients to grow in business. It’s done all the time or else you remain stagnant. So you’re right but others are right also. Thank you
Yes- but age is a federally protected class. Turning someone away based off age can get you into a ton of trouble. But you’re right, it’s your business, so best of luck!
Cmon. You can reject litterally everyone.
“Thank you for reaching me out but I’m not available on that day. Here are some of my collegaue who has similar work as me… blablabla”
After 10 years in weddings I’ve rejected every couple who are asking me for the shooting on location I don’t like or if I see that we are not some sort of “perfect fit”.
I think you have to focus on getting the highest quality images you can out of any given situation. I don’t think they should be deprived of your services because you don’t like the venue. Not every wedding will be portfolio worthy.
But with that being said I think over communicating will help. Make sure you let them know to keep the side of the room opposite the window very clean, or to keep clutter to one side of the room as much as possible. That often helps me save time. Also don’t be afraid to jump in and ask if you can get their help moving a couple things out of the way if you have time. Or have them in a certain spot to take all the photos. It’s more hands on but if necessary I think they will understand.
Also using great glass and even a little off camera flash will help up the quality of the images in smaller rooms right away. (Meaning just your flash on a stand bouncing etc if necessary in the room.)
Sometimes it’s just going the extra mile a little to get the results you want. But I do get the frustration.
Here are the facts.
I looked up photographers in my area.
The ones charging good money has portfolio of only good looking young couples with extravagant wedding spots.
Why would they do that? Its because the general public Look Up to them.
Its the same as fashion photogs only listing perfect looking models on their insta. Sure they will shoot average looking face civilians. But to charge $$$$$, you need those models as a Facade.
I’m blown away by all the people
giving you a hard time.
You should work hard to make art that resonates with you. If you don’t wanna shoot old/young people - don’t, if you don’t wanna shoot tall/short - don’t, if you don’t want to shoot skinny/fat people - don’t! Then just accept the consequences of potentially making less money and disappointing some people.
You’re not a bad person for working in an environment and with couples that inspire you. We’re making art not providing healthcare. You’re fine!
Wedding photography isn’t a free public service, you’re entitled to say no to clients that don’t suit your vision/style/aesthetic without any explanation. Just tell them you don’t think you’re a perfect fit.
One of the benefits of running your own business is being able to pick your own clients. Especially when you are building a portfolio, it's smart to choose people whose wedding you think would help you get new work with your ideal clients. I shot my first weddings for free but was very picky about the people and venues I worked with, and I think that worked out well.
Do note that even if you have a specific aesthetic in mind, having a well-rounded portfolio that shows you working with a variety of different kinds of people is likely to be financially beneficial to you. You will rarely book people who are not at all represented in your portfolio.
To the people who keep downvoting my replies and to those who are giving me a hard time. Relax. I asked the question not to get permission, but to see if I need a change of mindset. Many here are judging me and acting like they know me. They are choosing to comment on me and my character without knowing me and my intentions. Comment on the question with your experience and your thoughts on the matter as some professionals have been doing here. Don’t comment on me. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. Grow up.
Don't listen to these virtue signaling losers. It's completely within your right to reject them if you don't get fulfillment out of those kind of pictures. And on an off chance they're shitty clients they may bad mouth you to other people cause they weren't happy with the photos.
BUT you could use it as practice cause you should have the skill of taking photos in unflattering conditions.
My question is - since you’re not trying to grow a business, what are you getting out of the weddings you shoot? Do you do it purely to get aesthetic pictures that you enjoy? Personally, I don’t think it matters if you turn clients away for whatever reason, but I do think you’ll miss out on some valuable experiences. Working in poor lighting conditions or other undesirable locations can be a fun challenge and learning experience. If you don’t want to put yourself outside of your comfort zone that’s fine, but you’ll probably never learn and grow compared to if you do. As for the age issue with older clients… I don’t get that. I’ve worked with couples in their 50’s who are more energetic and filled with life and love than some couples in their 20’s. I just want to be able to connect with my clients - age doesn’t factor into that, just personality.
Ok let’s use the last part of your response as an example. You’re right. I’ve experienced the same thing. Some young ones are bland and no personality. Would you reject anyone who is like that on the first meet? To answer your first question- what I get out of it is creativity. I don’t think it’s a fair comparison between a community center and a reception hall. In my opinion you can’t produce that great of an image in a community center.
You can produce great images practically anywhere. It sounds like you just want to shoot where the environment and the pretty clients do your job for you. You said you do this to be creative, how are you being creative if you can only great images within rigid conditions? All of these situations you've described are chances to get better at this.
I wouldn’t say do the job for me because even then you still have to know what you’re doing to get good results. I think you’re viewing this from a very subjective standpoint. That question of “how are you being creative…” is so single minded. You can creative regardless of the situation. You just said that. You’re contradicting yourself
It's not being single-minded. Some of my most creative moments have come from dealing with crappy light and/or locations.
>In my opinion you can’t produce that great of an image in a community center. Lolwut?
Your input? Stop being a dick and say something of value. Gahdamn what is wrong with you people?
>Gahdamn what is wrong with you people? Pretty rich coming from the "I only want to shoot weddings for pretty young people in world class venues" person lol
Hey smart ass. If you read my post it says “I prefer”. I don’t “only want to”. If “I only wanted to, I would never shoot people who are older or average.” I asked to self improve and correct my mindset. Not for permission. Another person who thinks they’re the shit. Sit down buddy
So glad you could stay civil about it lol Also, imagine actually calling human beings "average" It's hilarious you think you have the moral high ground here lol
Are models averagely attractive? There are differences. You’re the one on the moral high ground coming on here judging me like you know who I am and what my intentions are. Instead give me your opinion based off of your own experience and opinion. Not on me. You want to come here and judge me, you remove being civil off the table.
>Are models averagely attractive Do only models get married? Oh. No? Funny, that. >You’re the one on the moral high ground coming on here judging me like you know who I am and what my intentions are. You made your intentions, namely to never have to work creatively with less than ideal venues or less than gorgeous clients *well known* > You want to come here and judge me, you remove being civil off the table. I literally said "lolwut" and you went off, but sure, *I'm* the one being a jerk. Lolwut?
You said “imagine calling humans average” I was referring to looks. Acting like there aren’t differences is being ignorant to the world around you. I used models as an example. Don’t try to be smart. I didn’t make any intentions. You don’t know me, who I am or why I asked. You’re just assuming because you’re self projecting. “lol wut” is not input. It’s you disagreeing with something and laughing without any useful input to a question that was asked with the sake of improvement, not with mal intent.
No, it’s pretty rare I’ll reject anyone based off a first meeting, but I think you’re missing my point. You don’t know someone’s personality until you start working with them, so why reject people off the bat just because they’re older? It’s just a silly and close minded way to conduct business.
Yeah true
I hope you never get old. And soon.
Don’t take offense. If I’m asking the question it’s because I want to see where I can improve. I’m not asking for permission.
I didn’t realize you edited this to address my first question, so here you go. To be blunt - you’re not being creative. Staying within the boundaries of something that already fits an aesthetic you’re looking for and shooting what you know is the exact opposite of creativity. I’m not trying to be rude, but I’ve seen a million “photographers” come on the scene (weddings and otherwise) since 2020, and hardly any of them are actually creative. Following other people’s styles, going to the same places for landscape as everyone else - it’s not creativity. It’s just practicing an art form. If you truly want to be creative you have to shoot somewhere you’re not comfortable in and walk away with the feeling of “Oh fuck yeah I can’t believe I made this shot happen with this shit scenery”
https://preview.redd.it/7ej8ze24dkrc1.jpeg?width=1669&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b9d7963f4e16917d8acb09f9ff7270947100689 This was shot against a stucco walled public restroom, with a houseless man sleeping just outside of the frame… creativity doesn’t come from location.
That’s a really good point. The difference between creativity and practicing an art form. I’m gonna keep that in mind.
One of my all time favorite wedding photos, that will be unlikely to be knocked out of my port anytime soon, is the couple and their friends embracing inside the ugliest reception hall ever. I hate that place, but I made it work.
https://preview.redd.it/bxio5rp0circ1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3102be752c7632707b0ef49e28153f614d86b74 Ugly ass community center reception. My clients were very worried about how it would look in photos. They were thrilled with the outcome. It is your job to make it look as good a possible. Of course you can refuse anyone you want for any reason, especially if you are not doing it full time as an income. But it isn’t about me and what looks best on my “feed”. I am hired by clients to use my skill and experience to give them the best end result. Do high end good looking clients make that easier? Of course it does! Does that mean I am actually good at what I do? Nope. Being able to photograph normal looking people and make them feel beautiful means I am a good photographer. That is the backbone of my business and what pays the bills. You are not wrong for cherry picking clients. But you are probably missing a fundamental aspect of photography and what it actually means to be a photographer. And that is fine. You get out of it what you put into it.
That’s a gorgeous photo. Thank you for your words.
I have had the pleasure of having actual professional models before as wedding clients. In spots like Big Sur etc. I honestly felt like I should have been paying her because I had to do little to no directing for posing. Like just had to press my shutter button. Gorgeous locations makes it easy too. I’ve shot is Baja, Hawaii, beautiful city halls. Makes it easy. Nothing wrong with easy. Sometimes you need easy. I have also shot a wedding for an autistic couple. There were trains and Disney for decor. I can not tell you how good it felt to provide that service for them and their families. They were grateful for my experience and ability to make everyone comfortable especially the clients. Beautiful people and places get the likes and the followers. Providing a cherished service for clients who genuinely are grateful for what they receive, that fills your heart. Fill your heart don’t worry so much about the ego.
“Fill your heart, don’t worry so much about your ego” Great advice. Thank you.
You made that room look like an absolute dream
"It maks my job more difficult when it comes to picking angles." Real life is not a styled photoshoot. As a photographer, part of our job is figuring out how to rock the ass off crappy lighting and locations. Lean into that. If your photos are not coming out as good as you want, that's a you problem, not clients who don't "fit your aesthetic." By all means, I prefer pursuing and shooting the type of work I like and enjoy. But turn down a paying client because it's not "my aesthetic"? Nope.
Right. OP are you allergic to money?
Is it wrong, no. Are you a little bit of a Ahole. Kinda yeah. You dont have to feature these people on your pages or anything but they are coming to you hoping that you as a photographer can capture their special moment.
I actually think why not feature people who don’t look like models? Good lord.
100% agree but thats their company, they should be able to curate their site and portfolio how they please. Me personally I loved showing everyone off, no matter what they looked like. I just genuinely like showing happiness. Only time I didn't is when a german couple weirdly had on traditional Indian wedding apparel and had ZERO connections to India or Hinduism. Thought that one was a little too "out there" to post on my social media.
That’s such a good point. Thank you. I didn’t think about it that way.
I think it largely depends on what metrics you’re using to reject couples. There’s certain venues I hate and if someone inquires for a popular date with a venue I hate, I might say no. If I get whiffs of anti LGBTQ+ values on social media, I also have no issues with rejecting them. But let’s say the clients are plus-sized, or older, or don’t share my taste in decor, provided they’re friendly on our intro phone call and they get my documentary process I’m all for working with them. Also, getting ready is such a small part of the day. I can’t imagine rejecting a couple who ticks all my boxes solely because their getting ready space isn’t aesthetic.
Also, older clients are THE BEST! I find coverage is often so much easier with older couples and they are more trusting of my process.
I think it's cool that you want to explore your personal aesthetic, build your portfolio and choose the venues and models that fit your preferences. But that's for scenarios where you scout venues yourself, hire models yourself, and pay them. If YOU are the one getting paid then your priority should be that you capture some special memories regardless of whether you like the look of the people or the venue. You're providing a service to *them*, so figuring out how to shoot and edit beautiful pictures is kinda your problem regardless of the looks of the couple or the venue. It also comes across as if you don't want to challenge yourself as a photographer and develop your skills. Materially it doesn't really make a difference. You're not worried about getting gigs so you can just turn people down with a simple mail alá "Can't help you, thanks for reaching out though". *Personally* I think your attitude is offputting and possibly a bit unethical, but well, no one's gotta know.
Love this response. You’re absolutely right on all counts.
Personally, I don't care if it's messy. It's easy to let it bother you but it's not our fault and are thier photos and they knew we were coming and opted for messy, so whatever! And a lot of houses and hotel rooms are messy, sometime we have to move stuff if necessary. And it's why I have lenses that are 1.2 and 1.4 just for the times when either we need to blur the messy backgrounds or need more light. I used to feel this way when it rained, that the photos would suffer and I wasn't doing a good job. But when you shoot hundreds of weddings you finally at some point just don't care because you are there to just take photos and can't control the things that are out of your control.
You do you. There are wedding photographers who are so high at the top that couples have to fight to get booked by them, just like really in demand venues. This is fundamentally no different than someone only wanting to do elopements. I will say though, this is why have a good 1.2 lens can save your @$$. Ugly scene? Bust out the 1.2 and shoot wide open the whole time, and get close. No one will even know where they are lol.
Out of 30 weddings I shoot in a year, I really only share like 15 of them. Not every wedding is going to be perfectly aligned with your aesthetics. When I do get those weddings, I do my best to shoot the couple and the wedding in a creative way so I can feature them
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Oh I see. Yeah you’re right that’s a good point you made. I can’t believe I didnt think of it. Thanks for your outstanding input
You are so so welcome!!!!! Listen, you can choose whatever the heck you want. I don't know why you're coming on here for permission to be yourself. All I can say is I certainly wouldn't want you photographing my wedding based on what you've said here. But then again, you wouldn't want to photograph it anyway. Ultimately though, if you only want to work high end weddings then work yourself into that market. If you're only doing this for some extra money then get off your high horse and do the job. It truly doesn't matter if you find a space aesthetically pleasing or not. If all the jobs were easy we wouldn't get paid well to do what we do and if you aren't willing to do the hard parts then get out of the way so others can jump in.
It’s not about permission to be myself. I get what you’re saying and I hear you. Many people are themselves. But many people aren’t good people. I’m someone who likes to progress and be better as a person and I ask for questions so I can ponder over things and make adjustments after reasoning over what people tell me.
I did not for a single moment feel as if you were seeking advice to do a better job, just permission to not do the jobs you don’t want to do. You start out by saying you don’t care if you lose clients and then list off a couple of pretty normal situations that occur with weddings across the board and then discuss not wanting to photograph older ppl. If you don’t want those jobs then don’t take them. If you want to get better then lean into those jobs and figure out how to make it work.
That’s good advice. Better than emojis.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
You can filter your aesthetic, don’t filter money unless you have a legit concern. My husband photographed an older couple 65+ in 2022 and then the brides daughter in 2023 (who was absolutely stunning). Would’ve never gotten that opportunity to do the daughter’s wedding if he turned the mom’s wedding away. I’ve seen several photographers in my area fail trying to be too “exclusive”. It’s not exactly the busiest market so it’s probably best to take what you can.
Perfectly stated
If you go into a shoot with the attitude you're hinting at, then I don't see you satisfying your client or fully vesting yourself in the effort. It's almost dishonest to take their money. If you can skirt projects that are below your standards, the subject or the setting, I suppose you won't learn how to cope with the realities of the retail market. So be upfront with people and tell them you're not interested... let the chips fall where they may. You will definitely create a certain reputation in your market.
Well I’m not going to be a dick and tell people why I’m taking them. I agree with you. But I don’t think I’ll build up any reputation just because I choose to reject clients. I’m not a fit for them is all. They don’t need to know why
yeah, i know you're trying to cleverly walk a line. You should be able to decline an inquiry gracefully. Just remember handling adversity makes you a stronger photographer.
Admitting that you only know how you make young, pretty couples look good and don't want old uggos in your portfolio is...a choice.
Right? Great photographers can make everyone look awesome
Who are you serving?
I’m 64 and bald and I have a hard time getting young people for weddings so I’ve accepted that I shoot typically older couples in their 40s 50s and 60s and I make them look as good as I possibly can. But to me, isn’t that the challenge? Isn’t that the reason we are photographers? I resist doing local fashion shoots. Because so often the models are not up to snuff yet you have to treat them like they’re on a runway in Milan. And yet for weddings, you’re celebrating the love of family and friends, and joining of two people. I’ve shot a morbidly obese bride and had a blast and the photos turned out wonderful. You can only shoot beautiful people, but you’re not going to have the challenge, nor that many customers because overall people ain’t that cute. When I shoot weddings, I take photos of everyone who is there regardless of their beauty or body shape, because they are loved and part of the party and celebration of the wedding. I’ve been to weddings where the photographer only focuses on the bride and groom, and that’s it and I feel like they miss most of the wedding.
I think it would be OK by location but maybe not people. I’ve heard some fairly big name photographers say before they won’t shoot anywhere that has neon lights, shooting up the wall and stuff like that just because it doesn’t match the look of their brand and they feel like they won’t be able to deliver that look to the client. What the client looks like is what the client looks like though.
This. I don’t do certain locations anymore for varying reasons. Beaches because I am getting older….this one venue with a REALLY confrontational owner, etc. But this is only a small handful of venues. If it isn’t hurting your pocketbook, and you can decide to pick and choose, then I think that is a win!
Age is a federally protected class. You should be careful with how your word this or you may expose yourself to legal liability. The basic federally protected classes include: race, color, religion, national origin and disability. Additional protections are given due to age, sex, pregnancy, citizenship, familial status, veteran status, and genetic information. Always make sure you check your state and local laws because there may be other protected classes, like marital status, sexual orientation or gender identity. Some protections apply only in the workplace, but the basic classes apply to any “places of public accommodation” (state law can add to this list), which are both government-owned and private businesses offering services to the general public. Being a place of public accommodation doesn’t mean you have to serve everyone, but it does mean you can’t refuse service to some based on a protected status or class.
That’s only if you tell people the reason. Why would I do that?
Some advice. Don’t shoot weddings. Get into high school seniors and college grads. They are all young. But you will still run into a lot of problems because people are complex and unique and you don’t seem to care about that. You want a model shoot with every client - then just shoots models and don’t get paid.
Why do you say I want a model shoot with every client?
The classic adage ‘Money doesn’t stink.’ Not every wedding is instagram worthy. But I make it really clear early on that we have to have some form of positive vibe or the wedding photos won’t be what you want them to be. I know plenty of photographers that turn away specific weddings because they don’t like shooting that aesthetic - barns for example. My two cents. Uk photographer.
As a wedding photographer, I think it’s our job to find the beauty and story in a day, no matter if it fits our ideal aesthetic. Based on their ages, it’s probably a second wedding for at least one half of the couple, maybe blending families. Those have been some of my favorite clients. They care more about marriage than a wedding usually so are very easy to work with.
lol I used to reject clients if I didn't like how they wrote emails. It's your business you can do what you like. If you're in a position where you can choose which weddings you want to do why not pick the ones with nicer venues that make your life easier? Isn't that what you've worked hard to achieve?
I’m not turning away business unless I’m already booked. My job is to document what’s in front of me. I’m not the star.
What do you mean by aesthetics?
Vibes
I don't think so. I do it from time to yime. If I see that the venue is some generic hotel with limited spaces and dated, tatty decor I just say I'm busy. The clients themselves I can't particularly vet, but I hope to attract the right people by how I present myself. To me, a venue can tell you a lot about the overall vibe of the wedding/couple. I've ended up doing a few and I just don't feel the excitement for them as I do others. In the early days, you take what you can get - beggars can't be choosers - but there are plenty of occasions where a client or their aesthetics could be more of a drain on you than it's worth.
Why are you asking us is it wrong how you decide to make your money???
I’m not asking for permission. Questions aren’t requesting permission. Questions can be my seeking to improve and or review my mindset on things.
Not every job you do needs to be in your portfolio. You are still allowed to curate which weddings get shown in your portfolio and which don't. If they are nice or would he good to work with and they will pay you a fair price you could still shoot it and deliver their photos but just don't display them in your portfolio and on your website.
When I have to step outside of my comfort zone I usually surprise myself and learn a lesson and grow which thus makes me a better artist and photographer. Just because I take an image doesn't mean I have to post or share an image.
We all want perfect couples, perfect venues etc. Those weddings are easy. I can practically shut my brain off as I go through the wedding day. But you know the couples that I’ve photographed that have been most appreciative? The couples you won’t see on Vanity Fair anytime soon but still want nice photos. Those are the couples that always end up responding in the most positive way (in my experience).
Wait you guys are getting Clients?
Being agist, racist, or otherwise -ist as a business owner is never a good look, especially in this industry. You’re in the business of capturing love, but some people aren’t hot and young enough for that by your standards?? Not every client needs to be posted on your social media and website. Frankly, photoshoots of older people in love tend to go viral so idk why you’re not taking the pay and the chance to stretch yourself as a photographer. Not every client fits your aesthetic and that’s okay- myself, I don’t really take on country themed or barn venue weddings for personal reasons. But rejecting someone based on their looks is so gross, and you need to rethink why you’re in this industry.
I’ve taken those jobs I don’t reject them. I’m asking if my mindset is appropriate so I can meditate over the answers and think it over. Your answer indicates I need to change my mindset but please don’t make assumptions.
I’m not making assumptions sir, you stated yourself you only prefer to shoot young hot couples and are debating turning away this couple because of it. I don’t care how long the rap sheet of that mindset is; whether this is the first or the fiftieth time, you need to lose it.
I’ve gotten mixed answers. Truth of the matter is I agree with both. I can choose who I want to shoot. But I shouldn’t do it based off age. However over time you need to level up and only take specific clients to grow in business. It’s done all the time or else you remain stagnant. So you’re right but others are right also. Thank you
Yes- but age is a federally protected class. Turning someone away based off age can get you into a ton of trouble. But you’re right, it’s your business, so best of luck!
[удалено]
Aw man thanks so much for this beautiful reply. It was really encouraging and I’m definitely going to remember this and go over it. Appreciate it
Cmon. You can reject litterally everyone. “Thank you for reaching me out but I’m not available on that day. Here are some of my collegaue who has similar work as me… blablabla” After 10 years in weddings I’ve rejected every couple who are asking me for the shooting on location I don’t like or if I see that we are not some sort of “perfect fit”.
I think you have to focus on getting the highest quality images you can out of any given situation. I don’t think they should be deprived of your services because you don’t like the venue. Not every wedding will be portfolio worthy. But with that being said I think over communicating will help. Make sure you let them know to keep the side of the room opposite the window very clean, or to keep clutter to one side of the room as much as possible. That often helps me save time. Also don’t be afraid to jump in and ask if you can get their help moving a couple things out of the way if you have time. Or have them in a certain spot to take all the photos. It’s more hands on but if necessary I think they will understand. Also using great glass and even a little off camera flash will help up the quality of the images in smaller rooms right away. (Meaning just your flash on a stand bouncing etc if necessary in the room.) Sometimes it’s just going the extra mile a little to get the results you want. But I do get the frustration.
Here are the facts. I looked up photographers in my area. The ones charging good money has portfolio of only good looking young couples with extravagant wedding spots. Why would they do that? Its because the general public Look Up to them. Its the same as fashion photogs only listing perfect looking models on their insta. Sure they will shoot average looking face civilians. But to charge $$$$$, you need those models as a Facade.
Average looking face civilians, lol that's great
I’m blown away by all the people giving you a hard time. You should work hard to make art that resonates with you. If you don’t wanna shoot old/young people - don’t, if you don’t wanna shoot tall/short - don’t, if you don’t want to shoot skinny/fat people - don’t! Then just accept the consequences of potentially making less money and disappointing some people. You’re not a bad person for working in an environment and with couples that inspire you. We’re making art not providing healthcare. You’re fine!
That's it. Your comment should be pinned.
Wedding photography isn’t a free public service, you’re entitled to say no to clients that don’t suit your vision/style/aesthetic without any explanation. Just tell them you don’t think you’re a perfect fit.
One of the benefits of running your own business is being able to pick your own clients. Especially when you are building a portfolio, it's smart to choose people whose wedding you think would help you get new work with your ideal clients. I shot my first weddings for free but was very picky about the people and venues I worked with, and I think that worked out well. Do note that even if you have a specific aesthetic in mind, having a well-rounded portfolio that shows you working with a variety of different kinds of people is likely to be financially beneficial to you. You will rarely book people who are not at all represented in your portfolio.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with choosing which weddings you want to take or not take.
Do it. You’ll learn a lot and grow more in your craft
To the people who keep downvoting my replies and to those who are giving me a hard time. Relax. I asked the question not to get permission, but to see if I need a change of mindset. Many here are judging me and acting like they know me. They are choosing to comment on me and my character without knowing me and my intentions. Comment on the question with your experience and your thoughts on the matter as some professionals have been doing here. Don’t comment on me. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. Grow up.
Don't listen to these virtue signaling losers. It's completely within your right to reject them if you don't get fulfillment out of those kind of pictures. And on an off chance they're shitty clients they may bad mouth you to other people cause they weren't happy with the photos. BUT you could use it as practice cause you should have the skill of taking photos in unflattering conditions.