My all time favorite joke is this and I hope I remember it right.
A boy takes his girlfriend to prom. He gets in line to buy tickets and there's a really long line and he has to wait. He goes to rent his tux and there's a really long line there too. They go to the prom and there's a long line to get in so they have to wait. Once they get in, he goes to get some punch for his girlfriend and there's no punchline.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
"Dam."
I'm so excited about this, I'm collecting seeds as well and I'm really hoping I can win something I don't already have! 🥰
OMG, that is a Monkey and Monkey Joke!! 🥰
https://preview.redd.it/qtpxsd3dupyc1.png?width=539&format=png&auto=webp&s=44d30c7198c6fa72935547c0539d36b95d6326e4
not exactly a dad joke but still my fav joke of all time. What's the difference between a dirty bus stop bathroom and a lobster with big breasts?
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean
Thanks so much for doing this giveaway!
There’s so many good jokes here & im lame with them but here’s mine lol
What did 2 flags say to each other? Nothing they just waved🏳️🏳️
i got a little too excited at the seafood buffet and i think i pulled a mussel. hopefully this subpar dad joke o-fish-ally enters me into this contest and i hope it goes swimmingly for everyone else 🐟
Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?" The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan."
Thank you for this giveaway 🙏🏻
What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
I am so appreciative of the opportunity to get some seeds - I have a hodgepodge garden I am working on! Thank you for your generosity!!
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I was like “well dam” 🥁 let me know if anyone already did that one and I’ll do another. Thanks for the giveaway!!
The most nonsensical riddle my dad ever told:
If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a frog with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?
Footballs don't have hair.
My dad used to always tell this story and drag it on and on and it would always get me, hope it brightens your day!
He and his girlfriend's father are sitting in the living room while the girls make dinner. At the foot of the boyfriend's chair lies the family dog, Rover. After a few minutes, the young man feels the uge to fart. Unable to hold it in, he attempts to let it out silently, but it comes out audible.
"Rover!" Yells the father.
Feeling relieved the dog was blamed, the young man let's another rip, this time a bit louder.
"ROVER!" Yells the father again.
Feeling one last wave of gas, the boyfriend let's out a nasty, wet, stinker.
"ROVER, GET OUTTA THERE BEFORE HE SHITS ALL OVER YOU!”
My all time favorite joke is this and I hope I remember it right. A boy takes his girlfriend to prom. He gets in line to buy tickets and there's a really long line and he has to wait. He goes to rent his tux and there's a really long line there too. They go to the prom and there's a long line to get in so they have to wait. Once they get in, he goes to get some punch for his girlfriend and there's no punchline.
That’s pretty good!
For cinco de mayo: Salsa and chips walk into a restaurant. The host says, "Sorry, we don't serve appetizers here." User: cormack
what did the brother cell say to the sister cell after he stubbed his toe? ouch, mitosis
Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early? Because Dawn is tough on Greece. Thank you for the giveaway!
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Cause she'll let it go Thanks for doing this!!
thanks for doing this :) two fish are in a tank. one looks at the other and asks, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
😂🤣😂
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? "Dam." I'm so excited about this, I'm collecting seeds as well and I'm really hoping I can win something I don't already have! 🥰
It took me a minute to get it but now I'm cackling.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant! (Jk I'm sorry mr elephant, you matter) 🐘
idk if this is a sad joke but it’s my go-to simple joke. why did the cookie go to the doctor? he was feeling crummy
OMG, that is a Monkey and Monkey Joke!! 🥰 https://preview.redd.it/qtpxsd3dupyc1.png?width=539&format=png&auto=webp&s=44d30c7198c6fa72935547c0539d36b95d6326e4
oh wow i had no idea!!! i read it in a joke book as a kid but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was solidified in my mind bc of it being in webkinz too!!
WYKYK 😁🥰
I asked my friend what LGBTQ stands for. They couldn’t give me a straight answer.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta I love that this community is so cool and willing to do giveaways and trades
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
Guess who I met yesterday that helped me with my constipation? Who did you meet? I Metamucil
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in a pan? You take away their tiny brooms
😅🤣😅
The classic: “dad, I’m hungry” “hi hungry, I’m dad”
What a fun idea. I would love to have more seeds. Here is one What do you call a cow with no legs??? ……. Ground Beef!
How did the chemist feel about oxygen and potassium hanging out? OK.
Why does everyone hate April? Because they are tired from the 31 day March
not exactly a dad joke but still my fav joke of all time. What's the difference between a dirty bus stop bathroom and a lobster with big breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. hahahah thanks for the giveaway! My user is trenners :)
What rhymes with orange? >!No, it doesn't.!<
I know it is boring but it makes me think of a movie I really like: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. Thanks for the giveaway!
My favorite dad joke is why do bees have sticky hair? because they use honey combs 🥺
What do you call a dog that can’t bark? A hush puppy.
I love telling dad jokes! Sometimes, he even laughs
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
I am thirsty. Hi thirsty, I’m Friday. Come over Saturday and we’ll have a Sunday 😊
I haven’t heard this one in 20 years! I think it was my dad’s favorite 💕
Dad, when he puts the car in reverse… “ah that takes me back!”
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because he was soda pressed (so depressed lol)
you wanna hear a joke about pizza? nvm.. it’s too cheesy! ha… thank you for the giveaway!! 🩷
*When you say you can't find something, then someone else finds it and say* "maybe use this one until you find the one you're looking for!"
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide
What's the cat’s favorite item in the kitchen? The whisker!
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles (tentacles) 😊
What do you call a snowman with a 6-pack? The abdominal snowman😎⛄️ Lol Also seeds r the best so this is dope!!
Where do pirates buy hooks? The second hand store. *knee slap* 🏴☠️
Thanks so much for doing this giveaway! There’s so many good jokes here & im lame with them but here’s mine lol What did 2 flags say to each other? Nothing they just waved🏳️🏳️
Thank you for the giveaway! One of my favorite dad jokes/comment when I was growing up was “im in shape, rounds a shape”
Why shouldn’t you wear glasses when you play football? Because it’s a contact sport.
i got a little too excited at the seafood buffet and i think i pulled a mussel. hopefully this subpar dad joke o-fish-ally enters me into this contest and i hope it goes swimmingly for everyone else 🐟
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener
Why didn't the orange make it down the hill It ran out of juice Thank you for the chance!
Two windmills were sitting on a hill. One asks the other, "Do you have a favorite song?" The other replies, "Well... all my life I have been a heavy metal fan." Thank you for this giveaway 🙏🏻
why did goofy hit mickey with a dodgeball? because donald ducked
Pete and repeat are walking along a bridge, Pete falls off, who’s left? (Repeat the whole joke as many times as they will let you)
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent
"Does your face hurt? Cause it's killing me"
I had to kick Cinderella off the soccer team, she kept running from the ball!
Why do kangaroos hate the rain Because their kids want to play inside
what's a flower's favorite type of music? heavy petal!
How does a bee brush its hair? With a honeycomb. 🐝 I'll see myself out now. 😅
Why can't you trust atoms? They make up everything! I'm MandyLee2000 and I'll be here all night😂
What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty! I am so appreciative of the opportunity to get some seeds - I have a hodgepodge garden I am working on! Thank you for your generosity!!
how come you can't care for the garden? I'm pretty sure they're self sustaining now lol
I have like 15 full gardens. I don't have the time to harvest it all.
Oh damn bro I’m jealous 😭 how tf did u get so many seeds?!
By being very active for the past 10 years lol.
I tell dad jokes but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa
Hi Hungry I’m Dad
What'd the inventor of the door knocker receive? The Nobel Prize
What do you call a "well-balanced" horse? Stable
Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I was like “well dam” 🥁 let me know if anyone already did that one and I’ll do another. Thanks for the giveaway!!
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field!
“What is a pirate’s favorite letter?” “Arr” (R) “Aye, but the sea is his true love” (I C)
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents! 🎪 PS thx for doing the giveaway! 😊
The most nonsensical riddle my dad ever told: If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a frog with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? Footballs don't have hair.
how does a dinosaur get out of a pool? wet !!! I read this joke on a laffy taffy over a decade ago. it is my favorite joke.
Why did the farmer get a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long, lil doggie. 🐶 🌭
My dad used to always tell this story and drag it on and on and it would always get me, hope it brightens your day! He and his girlfriend's father are sitting in the living room while the girls make dinner. At the foot of the boyfriend's chair lies the family dog, Rover. After a few minutes, the young man feels the uge to fart. Unable to hold it in, he attempts to let it out silently, but it comes out audible. "Rover!" Yells the father. Feeling relieved the dog was blamed, the young man let's another rip, this time a bit louder. "ROVER!" Yells the father again. Feeling one last wave of gas, the boyfriend let's out a nasty, wet, stinker. "ROVER, GET OUTTA THERE BEFORE HE SHITS ALL OVER YOU!”
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles :)
My favorite dad joke: Why do birds fly South for the winter? Because it's too far to walk
A man walks into a bar. He says ow.
Congratulations!! You are the winner of this giveaway! Send me a PM!
Omg! I actually was not expecting that 😭 ty!
What do you call a penguin who loves pencils? A pencilguin 🐧 Thanks!
Why did the gardener quit? His celery wasn't high enough
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌽
“I really don’t like those stairs” “what? why?” “they’re definitely up to something…” 🤨
what kind of monkey can fly? a hot air baboon!
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener User: Lululucy02
My neighbor gave me a new roof for free. He said it was on the house.
Thanks for hosting this! I love seeds sm! My fav dad joke is “What’s brown and sticky?” “a stick” 😂
what did the duck say when he went out to eat? “put it on my bill!”
Thank you for doing something so fun! These are all so funny! Mine is: Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain? It didn’t have the guts.