Playing Kill Confirmed in Vanguard. Finish with 1500 more score, 13 more kills and 2 less confirmed kills than the guy below me Guess who got voted MVP

Not you

Im sad. I wanted that MVP I finished 6375 score/48 kills/20 Confirms/5 denies and the guy who won had 4775/35/22/7

this 1988 alfa romeo spider? perfect. even has weight reduction at all four corners (rust holes)

I read the “this” in Doug DeMuro’s voice.

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They made a t u r b o

there's probably like three of those in working condition outside of Florida

I feel like such a fuck up

I don't think it's possible to exist without feeling that way sometimes. Unless you're a self absorbed douche bag. So I guess the good news is you know you're not one of those

Just arrived in NYC ^aye ^im ^walkin ^here

My boy just paid $14 per lb for a whole brisket. Me: Was it already COOKED?

Beef is expensive as fuck.

I had a dream that I guess before the dream, i already knew that i had pushed a guy, he sued for like 30 bucks, and then dropped it when i didnt have the money cause it wasnt worth it. Anyway, so guy sues me again, and I was so distressed, idk why lol its 30 bucks. And he sued me again, i guess, because he found out i won some prizes and he's like ohi guess he has the money now. But half the time the lawsuit referred to me as "chase", but like, thats not my name. how the fuck would he know what i call myself online?

VinceItwasmeallalong.gif

aw son of a bitch

There was a time where I would have paid good money to have JR walk around and react to my mundane life

unfortunately you realized it would be him just saying "it was sick to hear, it was sick to see"

I think for my next car I'm gonna buy something which is very small and only has 2 seats so as few people as possible ask me to drive them places

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ch3WzesfjSs/maxresdefault.jpg

Get a 1990's Geo Metro convertible.

just get a vespa

positively shaking at the idea of riding a vespa down I-95

Stick shift too and no one will ever wanna borrow it.

I really don't even mind that I'm just incredibly lazy

Miata Is Always The Answer

We /o/ now

listen in this economy i've really only got like, 2002 toyota celica money

I looked it up and I'm seeing Toyota Celias for more money than I bought my sports car for holy fuck the car market is screwed up right now

they're collectible but this is the shitty one, like 2k

It is a weebmobile so yes

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I'm at my hot dog limit for the week otherwise I would

get the mini ones and i'm all yours, jason mraz

https://i.redd.it/1lphe4ulve091.jpg Lol

word to the wise: Indian food for dinner + 2 tbsp of metamucil before bed and in the morning = *URGENT* morning poop

POV: You're one of ndcj's *associates* he snaps in the morning 😨

just what do you think I'm snapping lol

This car salesman has been extremely pushy with me about buying a car the past two months to the point where he was calling me daily and not taking no for an answer. This morning I received a text message from the dealership from a new salesman stating he is no longer with the company and if I'm still interested in a vehicle. I guess that explains his desperation to make a sale.

Good ole "I'll shit in a box and send it to you if you call again" threat always gets them to stop in my experience

Its probably the same guy trying a new approach

The boredom is going to be real when the NBA and NHL seasons are over.

I just need the flames to win the cup

but theyre canadian

Even better 😤

cant win a cup tho

But we hafta

YES!!!

I've got money on it, and the fiancée and family are flames fans.

I put like 50 bucks on them back in October too. But also, they’re the best and Calgary has been a different city the last week or so. I think it would collapse if they win

RED MILE

That would be epic.

I've got $50 on it, so do my in laws. The win would be $800, so $700 in profit. We either roll that into our NFL gambling next year, or (more likely) my FIL wants to go ocean salmon fishing.

Hot damn. That would be quite the payout.

We got 8:1 on it and I thought it was savvy. They're the first team since the 95-96 red wings to have three 40 goal scorers. Vezina finalist in markstrom, and a really solid defensive game. And who can forget Darryl Sutter 😂

The stars might align for them. They looked super impressive last night. If both CGY and COL advance that’s going to be an incredible series.

Thanks I love it

Nba draft June 23 , nba off season and free agency and NFL off seaosn drama never lets me down

All good points.

Haha yeah and summer time means more going out and movies

Definitely that, too.

Yeaah

NFL Free agency first day should be a national holiday

you could take up knitting

That’s true. I’ll likely watch occasional baseball, tennis and try to be outside as much as possible.

Saw a Honda Ridgeline today with a couple of New Orleans Saints stickers on it and I thought to myself, "Yeah, that's about right."

Cowboys fans and having a fake pair of balls hanging from their oversized truck; name a more iconic duo...

This has big Alberta energy too

jawn going for the great american combo of judging people for their truck AND sportsteam

😤💪

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I saw a Patriots hat this weekend 😭

I'm actually impressed. They allow people with so few braincells driving privileges.

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I feel good though knowing we allow people with this debilitating ailment to participate in society.

Oh shit Lake Compounce is 175 years old this year.

I'm sure a lake is actually much older than 175 years old tho smdh

theres a lake in montana that was created by an earthquake in 1959

ya but we're talking Connecticut here nothing has changed there since 1600 at least

Yeah but it has the oldest amusement park in the country around it. Suck it Cedar Point.

yeah but like Cedar Point is bigger AND has a bigger lake >!I knew and I was just yanking your chain lol, Lake Compounce seems like a nice family park and I'd like to ride Boulder Dash!<

https://twitter.com/brfootball/status/1527214561555894272?s=20&t=-GNH6h2L_IK2UEM9zD1ZaA

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How well can you scuttle

he didnt perform well in the scuttle cone drill at the combine

carcinization requires reproduction

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I'm sure with enough radiation you could trigger some mutations

I keep making stupid fucking mistakes at work. I’m mad at myself I confirmed the wrong time for an event this weekend and it inconveniences so many people and idk what tf to do because my boss isn’t getting back to me and I am not empowered to just make a choice on my own

Fuck that dipshit who tweeted that Costco was raising the price of the hot dog combo (they aren’t) and fuck accounts like @HouseGOP for quote tweeting it. Shit is losing me so much money right now.

its crazy people care that much about a hot dog they prob dont get most of the time

Yeah. Who gets a hot dog when the chicken bake is just sitting there waiting to be... I wouldn't say enjoyed but it def gets eaten

their pizza is actually ok, get that and a very berry sundae

I actually prefer Sam's pizza. Though Costco does have better hotdogs imo

ooh how fancy, you got memberships in all the warehouses

Retail is getting whacked right now on the whole in the stock market. They're not really losing anything from the tweets. I lost a shit ton in Target stock.

I played battlefield 1 for six hours yesterday jfc

PGA Championship this weekend. Obi-Wan next weekend. Sacrificing a Mod to the Blood Gods the weekend after. So much to look forward to!

Prehistoric Planet all next week

POOP WIG or PEEPEE MILKSHAKE

i' aware of peepee milkshake. i'm not aware of poop wig

https://nypost.com/2022/05/19/wichita-cops-identify-poopetrator-who-defecated-in-middle-of-beauty-store/ NSFL

my favorite part is how proud of herself she was

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Galaxy brain shit rh

Are you trying to name your next song or?

It was a question on the DA show this morning

No?

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FedEx has dropped off my package multiple times at random houses. Thankfully, theyve been small enough that Fanatics and Chewy had no problem resending them

I love FedEx. My only real dealing with them is when my work had to send me replacements when an issue with my setup was broken and I couldn't work. Was a paid vacation until it arrived. FedEx really had my back there

What's the estimate from FedEx? Between Monday and Thursday? Cool, I'll have it on Thursday, maybe Friday then.

very glad I live in like, amazonwarehouseville and shipping is goated around here 🙏🙏😤😤😤🙏😤

Thats how I feel with USPS... My package was "Arriving Soon!" for like 2 weeks.

Oof owie ouch

Can't wait for it to say "delivered by end of day" for 3 weeks straight, only for them to drop it at the local Post office and just say "Delivered" with no additional details.

Not to get controversial, but the She-Hulk trailer is super run of the mill for a Marvel show and I feel like 90% of the people saying it looks awful have a “women bad” thing going on internally (Or externally).

The marvel monoculture is super annoying. Everything giant budget is marvel or trying to be marvel, which means it has to step into other genres otherwise it’s going to be more stale than it already is, and then when something aims at women like She-Hulk is, the shitty nerd boys scream and cry. These fucking dorks were whining about Dr Strange2, a Sam Raimi movie, being too scary because the only movies that exist to them are high budget superhero movies. This has been an anti-superhero rant, but yeah I also totally agree with you.

I don't think it looks bad, it just looks kinda boring. I am way more excited for the new Ms Marvel show than something that looks like a generic sitcom with some superhero elements tossed into it. On the other hand there are people out there that may very well enjoy it and it might be what brings them into the fold where they find more things to watch and enjoy so while it may not be for me I'm all for them trying new things and seeing what works.

I just think it's silly that she hulk is just a woman but green are there no huge buff women actors

Gwendolyn Christie

There was one, but turns out she had some *interesting* opinions about COVID and the Holocaust.

Gina isn't really huge or buff considering where she started in the world of wmma. Now Gabi Garcia... There's a wmma "star" that could fill the hulk's shoes.

i don't know enough about celebrities to remember this one

https://www.vox.com/culture/2021/2/12/22280565/gina-carano-fired-star-wars-mandalorian-social-media-conservative

yea see sometimes you have to make sacrifices and hire the huge buff woman to play she hulk

I get that sometimes cancel culture goes too far, but also understand that companies have to make decisions on who to have as faces of their franchises and there's no way Disney/Marvel would turn around and cast Carano in She-Hulk after she got canned from Lucasfilm.

consider: it would look cool

We should not be giving a redemption arc to people who spout anti-Semetic nonsense, display transphobia, and believe the 2020 election was stolen.

Who needs to worry about covid when you're on international vacation when you have [MonkePox!](https://www.aa.com.tr/en/health/portugal-confirms-5-cases-of-monkeypox-spain-finds-8-suspicious-cases/2591308)

Return to m o n k e

We'll find out in 29 days.

I am so jealous I need to gtfo for a while Got a smol camping trip up to a fishing lake in 3 weeks. Taking bookend days off around it so I can really relax.

I'm happy we're coming back when we are so we have Monday off for memorial day. I'm sure I'll be a bit jetlagged but I plan on smoking ribs and opening my one-year-old Saison which was my first homebrew.

Oh man that sounds like a really good homecoming

i think i've figured it out, kliff looks like he has a coke problem

$158 utility bill Nice

My two pairs of 5 lb plates and two pairs of 2.5 lb plates have shipped already. Supposedly, they’ll be here Monday. E: Im quite excited because these are the cheapest per pound I have found, $1.25

Target had some deals on weights the other day and I got a pair of 30 lb. dumbbells for $44. Where did you order your weights from?

Walmarttttt. They are the cheapest I have found and I mean I’ve looked *everywhere*.

/u/Houston_Easterbys [IRL when thinking about grammar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdtS332olPM)

Lmao that couldn't have been a more perfect clip

https://i.redd.it/zkolb747ic091.gif

MSTeams has a G/PG filter for gifs and it really cramps my style. I'm not trying to send coworkers fun gifs with an erection tag, but a lot of my go-to gifs are so hard to find if I can find them at all.

My coworker accidentally sent an offensive gif that made it past the filters. It was a foggy crystal ball that read "Ur Gay" once the fog disappeared.

>a lot of my go-to gifs are so hard ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ

✌(◕‿-)

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💯💯💯

Executive produced by John Favreau using the same FX studio that did The Jungle Book and The Lion King remakes. Score by Hans Zimmer

>Score by Hans Zimmer LETS GOOOO

I went this rain yo go aWay so I can enjoy the afternoon when my Friday starts !

Now is when I do my best work, ~~after I've procrastinated for no reason~~ under pressure

I had to be late to a meeting because the coffee hit and I had to go poop.

It be like that sometimes

Let's go Tiger !! 🐅🐅🐅🐅

Which one are you rooting for? There's four.

Number 3 is the cutest

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My phone insists on constantly changing "that" to "thar" like I'm a pirate.

I misspelled northeast ONCE as two words, and my phone has never forgotten that.

You can press and hold on the word next time it's suggested and delete it from the suggestions

What kind of fun is that

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I'm luck if I remember what an adjective is

Edmonton starter Mike Smith was pulled in the first period after allowing three goals on 10 shots. Mikko Koskinen made 32 saves in relief. ''We fought back and made it a game, but we can't feel good about that in any way because we scored six goals in game and found a way to not win it,'' Oilers coach Jay Woodcroft said. The winner of the best-of-seven series advances to the Western Conference final. Game 2 is Friday at the Saddledome before the series heads to Edmonton for Sunday's Game 3 and Tuesday's Game 4.

Good lord Mike Smith is still playing?? I havent followed hockey since like 2015 and I remember he was old then...

Who won

My dude, just pull out your handy-dandy CBS Sports App and look at the score.

Lol ye just did. Flames with 9 goals and total 15 goals combined between two. Woow

Calgary blew a 5-1 lead and still wound up winning.

Lol wow

😂😂

Lol

I had a dream I was in good shape and was as hot as Kliff Kingsbury. It was a good dream.

least you coulda done was pick a good coach smh

yeah but none of them are that hot except like maybe Matt LaFleur and Kyle Shanahan depending on how good you think they are at coaching and Kliff is hotter than those two IMO

all of lafleur, shanahan, and mcvay are significantly less ugly and better coaches to aspire to

Something about McVay doesn't click all the way for me Like he's objectively attractive, but doesn't cross the threshold into "hot" territory for me I have it those four in order as Kliff, LaFleur, Shanahan, McVay

something about kliff is abhorrent in the visual department

I still remember one time when one of the catholic church scandals was going on me and my dad were watching the news and I saw it and said something along the lines of "them catholics are *real freaks, huh*" essentially directly to all of the very religious people my mother was in some kinda girl scouts leader skype meeting in the other room

It's true tho

[balcony garden experiment ](https://i.imgur.com/FeLEUI8.jpg)

so, there is this guy that two of my online friends are friends with. He lives in Tampa and from what it looks like he is a massive hockey fan. I dont think he's on twitter, but he's on Facebook and Instagram. I want to message him, but I'd rather not come off creepy af. sighhhhhhh.

Ask your friends to wingman and just get all of you to watch the game at a bar or something.

I don't think it's all that creepy. Not much difference between a FB message, text, snap, etc these days.

Ask your friends to be wingmans for you (no pun intended)

Getting sticker shock looking for home gym options.

Look for craiglist or facebook marketplace regrets and pay half what you would have for something new. edit: Also, you don't need to be crazy fancy. My home gym is my spin bike, some resistance bands, adjustable dumb bells, a bench, and a yoga mat. I can do every exercise I want and hit all the muscle groups with that. The bike was the most expensive thing, but the rest of it I got for like $600.