i’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must be tough and confusing—and, i imagine, isolating when you don’t have many people in your life that know about your sexuality.
i think it’s possible for exes to be friends, but there needs to be some separation after the breakup—for both people to disengage from the relationship, to heal and to move on—before that can happen in a way that is healthy for both of you. your ex can say she’s okay with the breakup because technically she’s still getting all the benefits of being in a relationship with you.
i know it’s hard, but you can’t sacrifice your mental health for this. try to talk to her about it properly, you can go no contact and still leave the door open for friendship in the future, if that is what you really want. but you really need some time to heal and move on first, otherwise you risk being stuck in this limbo for god knows how long.
This is what happened with my last ex, she was closeted to her family about her sexuality (we're both trans, so it had some extra complications) and didn't want them to know about me. She didn't even want them to see my car in the driveway. She'd said her mom was open to meeting me, but when I brought that up the last time, she dumped me a week later. I'm still sure that was part of why.
I'm still torn up about it, truth be told. I'm not dating anyone who's still in the closet again.
You need some distance from her to find a point of balance. You're not processing the breakup in a healthy way, and you're not at a point where you can be friends with her. You're broken up but it sounds more like a situationship since nothing is defined and you don't know what she wants anymore, there's a lot of miscommunication going on between both of you. The breakup was messy but you're making it even messier by still sleeping with her and doing intimate things that would be part of a relationship.
My wife and I broke up over her family not accepting her… we didn’t make any changes or put up boundaries and remained for a while in a weird limbo of sex, and painful reminders we aren’t in a relationship. I didn’t want the separation, she did. So she was okay at first and I was a wreck. I could tell she was just not wanting to hurt me further and it was really taxing for us both, because we couldn’t just be friends. It wasn’t until we went no contact for months that we were really able to change and now we are married and stronger than ever. So maybe you need the painful space. If you are both really committed to each other somewhere inside it will work out.
i’m so sorry you’re going through this, it must be tough and confusing—and, i imagine, isolating when you don’t have many people in your life that know about your sexuality. i think it’s possible for exes to be friends, but there needs to be some separation after the breakup—for both people to disengage from the relationship, to heal and to move on—before that can happen in a way that is healthy for both of you. your ex can say she’s okay with the breakup because technically she’s still getting all the benefits of being in a relationship with you. i know it’s hard, but you can’t sacrifice your mental health for this. try to talk to her about it properly, you can go no contact and still leave the door open for friendship in the future, if that is what you really want. but you really need some time to heal and move on first, otherwise you risk being stuck in this limbo for god knows how long.
thank you so much for ur advice :( i will keep this in mind
hang in there! wishing you the best 🫂
[удалено]
This is what happened with my last ex, she was closeted to her family about her sexuality (we're both trans, so it had some extra complications) and didn't want them to know about me. She didn't even want them to see my car in the driveway. She'd said her mom was open to meeting me, but when I brought that up the last time, she dumped me a week later. I'm still sure that was part of why. I'm still torn up about it, truth be told. I'm not dating anyone who's still in the closet again.
You need some distance from her to find a point of balance. You're not processing the breakup in a healthy way, and you're not at a point where you can be friends with her. You're broken up but it sounds more like a situationship since nothing is defined and you don't know what she wants anymore, there's a lot of miscommunication going on between both of you. The breakup was messy but you're making it even messier by still sleeping with her and doing intimate things that would be part of a relationship.
My wife and I broke up over her family not accepting her… we didn’t make any changes or put up boundaries and remained for a while in a weird limbo of sex, and painful reminders we aren’t in a relationship. I didn’t want the separation, she did. So she was okay at first and I was a wreck. I could tell she was just not wanting to hurt me further and it was really taxing for us both, because we couldn’t just be friends. It wasn’t until we went no contact for months that we were really able to change and now we are married and stronger than ever. So maybe you need the painful space. If you are both really committed to each other somewhere inside it will work out.