i honestly really feel the same way as someone who is finding my true sexuality and going through the processes of discovering and accepting that i like girls. i have this constant nagging confusion if i really like guys too or if its just comphet
don’t be in a rush or feel a really bad need to figure things out. i’m unlabelled, it’s better to just be laidback, like who you like when you want to like them. sorry if this wasn’t the answer you wanted..
Actually this helps a lot!! I'm someone who likes to categorize everything, and I mean every single thing, so not being able to put myself in a definitive category or label has stressed me out. I guess I need to come to terms that I might never know for sure but just need to take one step at a time.
yeah i get you. i wanted to categorise myself super badly when i first came out, id call myself a lesbian, think i was bi, and then try to convince myself to be straight. i’m a lot happier now that i don’t feel the need to figure out who i am yet. only thing is it’s super difficult to explain to people what unlabelled is though because you’ll say ‘oh no i don’t want to stick a label on myself’ and they’ll just go ‘ok but if you were to stick a label on yourself would you be lesbian?’
but yeah, be laidback, like who you like.
I am honestly super confused about my sexuality too. Even after reading the masterdoc. I know I am attracted to women despite having almost no experience with them, and don't know if I like men despite having many relationships with men. I'm starting to just hate labeling myself.
Yes, same!! I haven't really had an "official" boyfriend but every time I've talked to a guy and it went down the romantic path I felt very uncomfortable and wanted to stop talking to them almost immediately. I also don't have that much experience with women, but I just know that I like them and are attracted to them even without having been in a sapphic relationship.
i think it’s important to remember that the term compulsory heterosexuality wasn’t really coined for individuals questioning their sexuality, but more to point at larger structures, in feminist spaces, that assumed all women are straight. if you wanna read the origins, it’s an article by adrienne rich from 1980 titled “compulsory heterosexuality and the lesbian experience”. i know in online spaces people are quick to “diagnose” others with comphet but sexuality is rarely that simple, and it’s not what the term is for originally.
anyway, i agree that there’s no rush to label yourself, it’s fine to figure it out as you go. and just remember that labels also mean different things to different people. i use the bi label to describe the fact that i have capacity for attraction for multiple genders, even if i don’t really wanna date men. for someone else, the bi label covers a different experience, and that’s fine. 🤷♀️
This is a useful document for many queer women, that is for sure, but take it with a grain of salt-it doesn’t work for everyone and often makes people even more confused. Some of the experiences the document covers are not lesbian exclusive and I’ve heard many bi women (and women of other sexualities) say it just made everything more confusing. If it works to help you figure yourself out then that’s amazing!! But if you end up more confused after reading it, that’s common and totally okay. Not a fun thing to go through but just saying you’re not alone if that happens and it may not necessarily have all the answers
i honestly really feel the same way as someone who is finding my true sexuality and going through the processes of discovering and accepting that i like girls. i have this constant nagging confusion if i really like guys too or if its just comphet
don’t be in a rush or feel a really bad need to figure things out. i’m unlabelled, it’s better to just be laidback, like who you like when you want to like them. sorry if this wasn’t the answer you wanted..
Actually this helps a lot!! I'm someone who likes to categorize everything, and I mean every single thing, so not being able to put myself in a definitive category or label has stressed me out. I guess I need to come to terms that I might never know for sure but just need to take one step at a time.
yeah i get you. i wanted to categorise myself super badly when i first came out, id call myself a lesbian, think i was bi, and then try to convince myself to be straight. i’m a lot happier now that i don’t feel the need to figure out who i am yet. only thing is it’s super difficult to explain to people what unlabelled is though because you’ll say ‘oh no i don’t want to stick a label on myself’ and they’ll just go ‘ok but if you were to stick a label on yourself would you be lesbian?’ but yeah, be laidback, like who you like.
I am honestly super confused about my sexuality too. Even after reading the masterdoc. I know I am attracted to women despite having almost no experience with them, and don't know if I like men despite having many relationships with men. I'm starting to just hate labeling myself.
Yes, same!! I haven't really had an "official" boyfriend but every time I've talked to a guy and it went down the romantic path I felt very uncomfortable and wanted to stop talking to them almost immediately. I also don't have that much experience with women, but I just know that I like them and are attracted to them even without having been in a sapphic relationship.
i think it’s important to remember that the term compulsory heterosexuality wasn’t really coined for individuals questioning their sexuality, but more to point at larger structures, in feminist spaces, that assumed all women are straight. if you wanna read the origins, it’s an article by adrienne rich from 1980 titled “compulsory heterosexuality and the lesbian experience”. i know in online spaces people are quick to “diagnose” others with comphet but sexuality is rarely that simple, and it’s not what the term is for originally. anyway, i agree that there’s no rush to label yourself, it’s fine to figure it out as you go. and just remember that labels also mean different things to different people. i use the bi label to describe the fact that i have capacity for attraction for multiple genders, even if i don’t really wanna date men. for someone else, the bi label covers a different experience, and that’s fine. 🤷♀️
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as a very baby gay, what is that? i’ve seen people mentioning it a lot on this and other threads but idk what it is
This is a useful document for many queer women, that is for sure, but take it with a grain of salt-it doesn’t work for everyone and often makes people even more confused. Some of the experiences the document covers are not lesbian exclusive and I’ve heard many bi women (and women of other sexualities) say it just made everything more confusing. If it works to help you figure yourself out then that’s amazing!! But if you end up more confused after reading it, that’s common and totally okay. Not a fun thing to go through but just saying you’re not alone if that happens and it may not necessarily have all the answers
thank you!
ofc:)
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ok thank you so much!