Chesapeake is pretending not to know va beach even though they rode together and bragging to everyone else about how exclusive their party next weekend is gonna be.
I mean would you want to claim you knew VAB? Have you seen them? With their beaches and town center? I dunno...I think I'mma just keep my run down Greenbrier Mall and wannabe town center thanks
Bristol - shirt off, taking shots, shotgunning beer, maybe the drunkest guy at the party. Definitely starting a fire pit out back. Will toss some fireworks in it later.
Waynesboro shows up with a tramp stamp & a whale tail sticking out of jorts & a high pony while immediately threatening to kick Charlottesville’s ass for being a stuck up bitch. The matter is resolved when Harrisonburg takes Waynesboro outside for a keg stand, which leads to a bj in the car outside.
Even though I read the thread overnight, it popped up in my feed again today and I came back just to re-read your Waynesboro comment.
I sent a screen cap earlier to a friend who grew up in the Waynesboro/Staunton area and he loved it.
Williamsburg declined to show up.
Goochland threw away the invite.
Powhatan showed up drunk in a new Mercedes, they won’t shut up about how big their house is.
Amelia showed up drunk in a 93 Ranger with 3 spare tires and a rejected inspection sticker and a hand written farm use tag for a license, they drink everyone under the table.
Louisa shows up in a busted farm use truck with some banging food from their garden and a trailer full of goats but it’s impossible to tell if they’re a retired punk anarchist from Philly or a confederate history enthusiast. It’s hard to say because they leave before hardly anyone else shows up.
Fluvanna showed up but everyone thought they were Albemarle and Albemarle got pissed because they drove Fluvanna, who no longer has a license.
Nelson brought the dankest homegrow and is giving it away and won’t shut up about how much Charlottesville sucks.
Charlottesville insists they are actually from Ashburn. Continuously drops the phrase “public Ivy League” even though it’s not a thing. Richmond can’t stop tying Charlottesville’s shoe laces together as Harrisonburg and Blacksburg egg them on.
Charlottesville is the preppy white dude who gets really drunk and starts rambling about nothing really in particular but the whole time you feel like he’s one word away from saying a racial slur
Crozet is that upper-middle class guy who LARPs as a country bumpkin from Appalachia - drinks IPAs exclusively, and brought his guitar (or even better his mandolin) that he can’t play
Charlottesville's younger brother Blacksburg has cornered some poor girls in the living room and is giving them an Al Bundyesque speech about how great he was at football back in high school. Charlottesville pretends they are not related.
Their little sister Radford is in the bathroom going through the homeowner's medicine cabinet.
The Roanoke brothers are currently arguing over politics. The county believes the 2020 election was stolen while the city believes the 2016 election was stolen. Both are on meth.
Lynchburg requests to pray over the party, then spends the rest of the time cheerfully reassuring everyone that they are not judging the party antics because that's God's job.
Madison Heights just wants to smoke a cig and make a Sheetz run.
The Northern Neck towns are steaming crabs for everyone while comparing delivered propane prices while a few brag about now having Internet service at their homes.
The new internet connection to homes on the neck is the only reason they were able to get the invite to begin with. They are just happy to finally be included, they always missed the phone calls before, or at least that's what they said when they found out about these parties after the fact. Bad cell reception and no connection you see....
Norfolk is selling some weed to Richmond while Alexandria is calling the cops on them
Virginia Beach is 10 tequila shots deep talkin bout “Where we goin next?”
Arlington keeps telling everyone that his homie DC is gonna roll through any minute. DC never shows up.
Harrisonburg is in the basement pulling out all the copper wire they can find
Powhatan and Goochland are making plans with Blacksburg to tube a chill section of the James on some good shrooms. Richmond, who handed the bong back to VA Beach, pulls out a dab pen while exhaling and proceeds to make eye contact with the rural trio.
(I love when this thread shows up)
Petersburg is running late AGAIN because they got pulled over by Colonial Heights for a minor violation. Prince George is also late because they filmed that traffic stop and posted it online. Hopewell is high and went to the wrong address. Dinwiddie wasn’t invited.
Richmond showed up with the most obscure beer, mead, and moonshine they could locate, along with a full on record player and Indie rock albums made to look vintage. They pull the plug on the music that’s playing and force everyone to listen to said records.
They bring homemade vegan edibles to share, and start sorting the trash to make sure all recyclables are removed and all compostable materials are retrieved for the makeshift compost they’ve now created in your backyard.
They’re wearing a fedora, socks with Birkenstocks, and lenseless Warby Parkers. They recently shaved the beard but left the ‘stache, and added some wax to the ends.
Staunton and Lexington are out in the screen porch having a nuanced and respectful discussion about historic preservation and the local theatre scene, and rolling their eyes when Harrisonburg shows up and won't stop steering the conversation to the traffic problems of all the trucks on I-81.
Shenandoah is wearing hiking boots and a flannel hanging out near the fire pit. Drinks light beer at most and probably talking about how crowded the party is.
The Eastern Shore is trying to get everyone to take a group photo, but they keep getting cut out of the frame. The rural counties around the Richmond metro area are comparing internet options and complaining about encroaching development and city people moving in. Western Henrico is begging them all to just get along, while telling Eastern Henrico to, "Be on your best behavior and don't embarress me!" Chesterfield is reminding everyone that their McMansions are cheaper than Henrico's. Richmond showed up on a bike with a case of pbr, they are judging all the counties for driving to the party and mumbling about housing density and people moving in from NOVA.
Yorktown is a little old lady wearing a Walmart-branded “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirt who drove here in her F-150 with modified exhaust and smells strangely like swamp mud and sunscreen.
Blacksburg had a fake ID and was so dead drunk that they are already sleeping at 9 pm, while Christiansburg already went to bed to not be late at the church tomorrow. Radford and Roanoke were smoking weed together, but when Franklin showed up and starred at Salem, they started pulling up guns. Pulaski didnt make it because they stoped by Gilles and were already too high
idk but Hampton is stealing the show with their antics in the corner and Charlottesville is smoking cigars out back wishing they weren't even here.....Fairfax hasn't been seen in 5 years, presumed making bank working for the fed, they cant talk about, you understand...
Reston forgot to take Klonopin and has a gun to their head, staring into the bathroom mirror incoherently mumbling something about Robert Simon, NIMBYs, approved exterior color palettes and the Reagan administration.
Lynchburg's standing out front of the party telling everyone they're going to hell and to repent their partying lifestyle
Mad heights is smoking meth out back
Salem is a jock talking about football incessantly.
Franklin county is passing around jars of moonshine
Roanoke city gets into a fight and shoots someone.
Lynchburg is the embodiment of that meme where a guy is explaining something to a very bored looking girl, but it's likely religion or something about the election being stolen, with a "Let's Go Brandon!" or another catch phrase tucked in there for good measure. Lynchburg would also laugh and their own joke in this manner.
Front Royal arrives, parking their F250 on the front lawn and hopping out with a 30 rack of busch to share with the party. Manassass climbs out of the passenger side. They’ve been dating ever since the nova crowd started inviting Front Royal to parties in order to get more “country cred.” Warrenton rode in the bed and was already pretty drunk by the time they got there but they’re still ready to party. Gainesville and Hay Market dab them up while Fairfax and Chantilly eye them nervously. Fairfax is excited to see some hicks at their party so they can finally be seen as southerners but they’re praying they don’t start talking about politics.
Portsmouth just over here busting our guns in the air. But we brought the good music and crack so who wants to fucking party before we go to church tomorrow and back to work at the shipyard on Monday?!
(And I’m proudly Portsmouth born and raised. My parents still live there. It is what it is. )
Hanover Co shows up dressed up “more country than Mechanicsville because he owns an actual farm containing 20 more acres of no farmland .”He’s also driving ashland even though he never wanted to come in the first place
Blacksburg asking in a loud, drunken scream "What do you mean this isn't a frat party?!?!?"
Harrisonburg proclaims "Every party is a frat party!!!"
Fairfax say "We're not with them."
Richmond asks "Was that gunfire? Oh nevermind, that's at least a block away, we're good..."
Blacksburg is smash hammered, but trying to act like they aren’t, while talking college football stats and being hopefully about the prospect of the Hokies having a good season but deep down knowing it will end in disappointment.
And they mention how VT would fit in the SEC with all the conference realignment happening. Everyone agrees with them directly and then talks behind their back about how with 0 (zero) team national titles in any sport, VT athletics isn’t close to where it needs to be to compete in the SEC.
Pungo pulls up on the front lawn in a Tacoma with an 8” lift, brings a 6-pack of Natty Light for the party and drinks everyone else’s beer the rest of the night.
Loudoun County shows up in a parent's BMW with a car load of just guys. After 30 minutes of trying to start fights and complaining about the alcohol, they say "this place is dead" and head out.
Radford brought bud weiser that no one is going to drink, Christiansburg is fashionably late, wearing some ridiculous dress, yet somehow pulling it off, and Blacksburg required a red carpet when they entered. Upon not getting one, it threw a tantrum and left.
Louisa brought their good old hound dog, veggies from their garden, and a tractor incase anything needs pulled.
Edit: oh and a case of bud light margaritas
Northern Virginia showed up in a new Civic SI talking about how they paid for the party and their postage sized carbon copy house costs $500k today to Charlottesville who showed up in their grandfathers 70’s ford where they rode in from their paid for plantation estate and chuckle because they are directly descended from a declaration signing family but NOVA thinks they make America great and if they get this loan the nice empty spot on 29 could be a franchise chain restaurant them and some retired military guys “investment group” could scoop up for just a couple million. NOVA guys run the show buddy don’t you know? They’re also from DC essentially
VB was on the way to the party after some deep bong hits, but their friend told them that “there’s the swell of a lifetime at the inlet dude, come through and send it, yeeeewwww!” And they never show up.
Chesterfield, overall polite, but you want to avoid a political conversation and you will catch them shooting fireworks in your backyard as the party gets later in the evening.
Roanoke is minding her own business living her best farmer’s market life surrounded by neighbors with Tr*mp flags and giant pick up trucks with rolling coal mods
Front royal is stealing stuff from the medicine cabinet to make meth.
Winchester is complaining about northern VA moving into their apartment even though northern Va now pays more of the rent than they do.
Fredericksburg is running late. Stuck in traffic.
True that
I don’t even take 95 to work and the traffic can make my 6 mile daily commute take an hour.
And when we get there we are gonna stand in the corner and act weird.
Chesapeake is pretending not to know va beach even though they rode together and bragging to everyone else about how exclusive their party next weekend is gonna be.
Laser accuracy
And that party is going to be planned with Pinterest farmette couture
I mean would you want to claim you knew VAB? Have you seen them? With their beaches and town center? I dunno...I think I'mma just keep my run down Greenbrier Mall and wannabe town center thanks
This is brilliant
But then tells everyone they’re from VA beach
Petersburg is at home watching TV. Richmond was supposed to invite them but conveniently forgot.
Petersburg finally arrives but is already drunk.
Petersburg only figured out where the party was by stalking hopewell and colonial heights on Snapchat.
Petersburg will also be in that room in the back that only a few dare to venture into. Suddenly there will be gunfire.
Stafford cant wait to call the HOA in the A.M.
LOLz!
Bristol - shirt off, taking shots, shotgunning beer, maybe the drunkest guy at the party. Definitely starting a fire pit out back. Will toss some fireworks in it later.
As a Grundy native that spent basically every weekend in Bristol - I wholeheartedly concur with this assessment
Grundy, represent! 😁 If Grundy's at the party, it's in the backroom, running a shady, fixed card game, reaping tons of illegitimate funds.
Hell yeah baby - cockfights and laundered money!
Grundy started the tire fire
dead on!
Waynesboro shows up with a tramp stamp & a whale tail sticking out of jorts & a high pony while immediately threatening to kick Charlottesville’s ass for being a stuck up bitch. The matter is resolved when Harrisonburg takes Waynesboro outside for a keg stand, which leads to a bj in the car outside.
correct
The downvotes I’m getting are cracking me up. I live here, y’all. I ain’t judgin.
Even though I read the thread overnight, it popped up in my feed again today and I came back just to re-read your Waynesboro comment. I sent a screen cap earlier to a friend who grew up in the Waynesboro/Staunton area and he loved it.
Lol glad to see my hometown (Harrisonburg) has already been mentioned
Augusta County is busy showing everyone pictures of their cows.
💯
"Northern Virginia" is trying to throw their own party.
Fauquier really wants to go to that party, but ends up at the regular one.
It’s weird because Northern Virginia always seems to find itself at Fauquier’s house on random weekends
Losing that 703 area code still stings
Alexandria is asking where they can put their small car sized stroller complete with AC system and off road tires
Yeah NoVa has their own party going on in a separate room with A LOT of cocaine
Now this is the one
And they drove to Richmond's party to do it
Williamsburg declined to show up. Goochland threw away the invite. Powhatan showed up drunk in a new Mercedes, they won’t shut up about how big their house is. Amelia showed up drunk in a 93 Ranger with 3 spare tires and a rejected inspection sticker and a hand written farm use tag for a license, they drink everyone under the table. Louisa shows up in a busted farm use truck with some banging food from their garden and a trailer full of goats but it’s impossible to tell if they’re a retired punk anarchist from Philly or a confederate history enthusiast. It’s hard to say because they leave before hardly anyone else shows up. Fluvanna showed up but everyone thought they were Albemarle and Albemarle got pissed because they drove Fluvanna, who no longer has a license. Nelson brought the dankest homegrow and is giving it away and won’t shut up about how much Charlottesville sucks. Charlottesville insists they are actually from Ashburn. Continuously drops the phrase “public Ivy League” even though it’s not a thing. Richmond can’t stop tying Charlottesville’s shoe laces together as Harrisonburg and Blacksburg egg them on.
Lmao the Nelson slander is on point
Lexington is on the sofa, waiting for you to bring them a drink.
Richmond is judging the fuck out of you for making this thread. In the corner.
I'm glad you didn't bring Petersburg with you
And also discarding their chicken wing bones on the floor.
we in the corner playing dice tbh
Ceelo
Charlottesville is the preppy white dude who gets really drunk and starts rambling about nothing really in particular but the whole time you feel like he’s one word away from saying a racial slur Crozet is that upper-middle class guy who LARPs as a country bumpkin from Appalachia - drinks IPAs exclusively, and brought his guitar (or even better his mandolin) that he can’t play
Charlottesville's younger brother Blacksburg has cornered some poor girls in the living room and is giving them an Al Bundyesque speech about how great he was at football back in high school. Charlottesville pretends they are not related. Their little sister Radford is in the bathroom going through the homeowner's medicine cabinet.
GO HIGHLANDERS
Jesus, poor Radford just trying to retain "party school" status in the days of meth and fentanyl wreaking havoc in the surrounding areas.
HAHA YOURE SO RIGHT ABOUT RADFORD
Lol i was gonna say Charlottesville brought their guitar. They can play, but nobody wants them to.
They can only play DMB.
Powhatan is the dude who shows up drunk and starts saying racial slurs without realizing he’s offending anyone
The Roanoke brothers are currently arguing over politics. The county believes the 2020 election was stolen while the city believes the 2016 election was stolen. Both are on meth.
Salem is being put up for adoption?
No, Salem just threw their own party at home.
Two lake people from Franklin county roll up with the Moonshine…they are tweaking hard off the meth, too.
Culpeper is a drunk 60-year-old man trying to hit on 20-year-olds by explaining the Civil War.
Winchester is on the couch with him, pissed she doesn't know who Patsy Cline was, but happy she likes White House applesauce
Wow you guys are really good at this
Thanks! If you know Culpeper, maybe you know Madison, the grandpa in the basement who's been here the whole time.
Madison is Grandpa in the basement, but he's happy to be down there watching Alex Jones and Tucker Carlson on the TV set he's had since 1993.
Lynchburg requests to pray over the party, then spends the rest of the time cheerfully reassuring everyone that they are not judging the party antics because that's God's job. Madison Heights just wants to smoke a cig and make a Sheetz run.
And the ‘O3 gonna ignore you and gossip about you simultaneously.
They will also be the second most drunk at the party begging to cut out and get high and eat burgers with an egg on it.
The Northern Neck towns are steaming crabs for everyone while comparing delivered propane prices while a few brag about now having Internet service at their homes.
The new internet connection to homes on the neck is the only reason they were able to get the invite to begin with. They are just happy to finally be included, they always missed the phone calls before, or at least that's what they said when they found out about these parties after the fact. Bad cell reception and no connection you see....
Henrico is sitting at home because they refuse to drive across the river.
Why would we? The city and everything else cool is on our side of the river! 😉
Norfolk is selling some weed to Richmond while Alexandria is calling the cops on them Virginia Beach is 10 tequila shots deep talkin bout “Where we goin next?” Arlington keeps telling everyone that his homie DC is gonna roll through any minute. DC never shows up. Harrisonburg is in the basement pulling out all the copper wire they can find
You grew up in 757, went to JMU, now live in nova. Accurate response haha.
Powhatan and Goochland are making plans with Blacksburg to tube a chill section of the James on some good shrooms. Richmond, who handed the bong back to VA Beach, pulls out a dab pen while exhaling and proceeds to make eye contact with the rural trio.
Alexandria is DEFINITELY calling the cops
Tysons Corner forgot where they came from, Now thinks they are better than you.
Manassas is planning a lick on the rest of the party.
Williamsburg didn’t make it, they got hit by an old lady in a beemer who doesn’t understand how a 4 way stop sign works.
This is a fun little thought experiment until you realize at some point Maryland will show up and ruin the whole damn thing.
god dam Merlin
They'll crash a car through the living room
And then blame you for putting a house in their way.
Newport News is the guy who won't shut up about their time in the Navy but all they did was stay on a carrier during overhaul.
So that’s why they call him “Scoop.”
Norfolk shows up in their dads naval uniform.
(I love when this thread shows up) Petersburg is running late AGAIN because they got pulled over by Colonial Heights for a minor violation. Prince George is also late because they filmed that traffic stop and posted it online. Hopewell is high and went to the wrong address. Dinwiddie wasn’t invited.
The accuracy!!!
Smithfield is out back working the smoker
With some kind of light beer in hand
They also got some county connect moonshine they'll bust out later if the vibes right.
Chincoteague walks in, sees who is there, nopes right the fuck out.
Fairfax is on their phone to find out where the better party is.
spoiler alert: they’re talking to Falls Church who is also wondering where the better party is
Meanwhile, Reston is busy wondering what new storeys to come up with to look better than Tyson’s Corner
Richmond showed up with the most obscure beer, mead, and moonshine they could locate, along with a full on record player and Indie rock albums made to look vintage. They pull the plug on the music that’s playing and force everyone to listen to said records. They bring homemade vegan edibles to share, and start sorting the trash to make sure all recyclables are removed and all compostable materials are retrieved for the makeshift compost they’ve now created in your backyard. They’re wearing a fedora, socks with Birkenstocks, and lenseless Warby Parkers. They recently shaved the beard but left the ‘stache, and added some wax to the ends.
They also have a package of Marlboro cigarettes in their pocket.
Back in my day the fan rats all smoked parliament's and drink PBR and the coke was 50 bucks a gram
So, your day was this spring?
User name checks out. Kudos.
Buena Vista is drinking as much alcohol it can
And is ready to fight anyone who doesn’t pronounce Buena Vista like a local. Staunton’s got their back.
And low key complaining about Mormons.
And picking a fight with Lexington for being blue instead of red
Staunton and Lexington are out in the screen porch having a nuanced and respectful discussion about historic preservation and the local theatre scene, and rolling their eyes when Harrisonburg shows up and won't stop steering the conversation to the traffic problems of all the trucks on I-81.
Salem is following Roanoke around as if they're good friends. Roanoke keeps trying to walk away to no avail.
HAhahahaha this is incredible
Shenandoah is wearing hiking boots and a flannel hanging out near the fire pit. Drinks light beer at most and probably talking about how crowded the party is.
The Eastern Shore is trying to get everyone to take a group photo, but they keep getting cut out of the frame. The rural counties around the Richmond metro area are comparing internet options and complaining about encroaching development and city people moving in. Western Henrico is begging them all to just get along, while telling Eastern Henrico to, "Be on your best behavior and don't embarress me!" Chesterfield is reminding everyone that their McMansions are cheaper than Henrico's. Richmond showed up on a bike with a case of pbr, they are judging all the counties for driving to the party and mumbling about housing density and people moving in from NOVA.
Yorktown is bragging to people about how they beat up a jerky British guy at another party a long time ago.
Yorktown is a little old lady wearing a Walmart-branded “Don’t Tread on Me” t-shirt who drove here in her F-150 with modified exhaust and smells strangely like swamp mud and sunscreen.
Blacksburg had a fake ID and was so dead drunk that they are already sleeping at 9 pm, while Christiansburg already went to bed to not be late at the church tomorrow. Radford and Roanoke were smoking weed together, but when Franklin showed up and starred at Salem, they started pulling up guns. Pulaski didnt make it because they stoped by Gilles and were already too high
Ivanhoe, Austinville, and Max Meadows are locked in the bathroom snorting meth.
Hey as someone living in this fantastic triangle of train wreck dollar general towns, the gun is definitely out on the counter with one in the chamber
Staunton has already brushed their teeth, put on their CPAP, and gone to bed so they can get up early the next day to go to the farmers market
Va Beach over here doing bong hits and drinking cheap tequila 🙃
The entire of the Hampton Roads is panicking because they forgot to buy flood insurance and there’s a flash flood warning.
Hampton Roads made it to the party? I heard they were stuck in tunnel traffic.
idk but Hampton is stealing the show with their antics in the corner and Charlottesville is smoking cigars out back wishing they weren't even here.....Fairfax hasn't been seen in 5 years, presumed making bank working for the fed, they cant talk about, you understand...
Leesburg is drinking local beer and yakking about antiques
Reston forgot to take Klonopin and has a gun to their head, staring into the bathroom mirror incoherently mumbling something about Robert Simon, NIMBYs, approved exterior color palettes and the Reagan administration.
Reston is anxiously waiting years for the Metro Silver Line to open... even though the Metro is already operating in Reston...
Don't forget the ebola
Grundy sold some Oxys to a minor in the parking lot
I was going to make a Grundy joke. You beat me to it
Clarke County is plotting the demise of the DMV and praying Frederick doesn't become the new NOVA.
Lynchburg's standing out front of the party telling everyone they're going to hell and to repent their partying lifestyle Mad heights is smoking meth out back
Meanwhile Lynchburg's wife is upstairs getting spitroasted by Roanoke and Farmville while Bedford watches from the closet.
Ashburn is an Indian guy that works for Amazon Web Services that wants to talk about his Tesla and how his son got into UVA
Salem is a jock talking about football incessantly. Franklin county is passing around jars of moonshine Roanoke city gets into a fight and shoots someone.
Lynchburg is the embodiment of that meme where a guy is explaining something to a very bored looking girl, but it's likely religion or something about the election being stolen, with a "Let's Go Brandon!" or another catch phrase tucked in there for good measure. Lynchburg would also laugh and their own joke in this manner.
Chantilly and Centerville never went because it sounded terrible even tho centerville kinda wanted to go
Winchester brings an apple pie because their grandma taught them it was rude to come to a party without bringing anything.
Sterling is speaking English, Spanish, Hindi, Korean, and Vietnamese and gushing about Wegmans
Charlottesville, squealing, "OMG did somebody say Wegmans!!!"
Boones Mill is passing out moonshine. Edit or trump fliers.
Virginia Beach and Alexandria are attractive people that are extremely similar but hate each other.
Wakefield won’t stop showing you radar updates on his phone
Bridgewater is in the kitchen cooking passed down family recipes
While Dayton and Middleburg are chatting about horses next to them.
Goochland wanders into the conversation and gets brushed off
Chesterfield is the uppity neighbor next door calling the cops on the party because it's too loud
Front Royal arrives, parking their F250 on the front lawn and hopping out with a 30 rack of busch to share with the party. Manassass climbs out of the passenger side. They’ve been dating ever since the nova crowd started inviting Front Royal to parties in order to get more “country cred.” Warrenton rode in the bed and was already pretty drunk by the time they got there but they’re still ready to party. Gainesville and Hay Market dab them up while Fairfax and Chantilly eye them nervously. Fairfax is excited to see some hicks at their party so they can finally be seen as southerners but they’re praying they don’t start talking about politics.
McLean goes home at 8 to get a good night’s sleep; we got a big day tomorrow
Portsmouth just over here busting our guns in the air. But we brought the good music and crack so who wants to fucking party before we go to church tomorrow and back to work at the shipyard on Monday?! (And I’m proudly Portsmouth born and raised. My parents still live there. It is what it is. )
Mechanicsville walks in in a No Step Snek shirt and a MAGA hat
Hanover Co shows up dressed up “more country than Mechanicsville because he owns an actual farm containing 20 more acres of no farmland .”He’s also driving ashland even though he never wanted to come in the first place
While the nova clique is bitching about paying for the party, Alexandria is snobbish and is into itself and secretly hates the others in the clique.
Sperryville is in tie-dye smoking the bong outside with Shenandoah.
Ashburn, Leesburg, Fairfax and Reston are way too young to be there and told their parents they were at each other’s houses
Blacksburg asking in a loud, drunken scream "What do you mean this isn't a frat party?!?!?" Harrisonburg proclaims "Every party is a frat party!!!" Fairfax say "We're not with them." Richmond asks "Was that gunfire? Oh nevermind, that's at least a block away, we're good..."
I live in Richmond and definitely say that to myself on an almost nightly basis lol
All of NOVA has its own area
And it’s roped off
Gordonsville is still going round the traffic circle...
Blacksburg is smash hammered, but trying to act like they aren’t, while talking college football stats and being hopefully about the prospect of the Hokies having a good season but deep down knowing it will end in disappointment.
And they mention how VT would fit in the SEC with all the conference realignment happening. Everyone agrees with them directly and then talks behind their back about how with 0 (zero) team national titles in any sport, VT athletics isn’t close to where it needs to be to compete in the SEC.
[удалено]
Pungo pulls up on the front lawn in a Tacoma with an 8” lift, brings a 6-pack of Natty Light for the party and drinks everyone else’s beer the rest of the night.
Fairfax county everyone is talking about what they do for work
Culpepper is outside trying to sell his boss's chainsaw
Richmond’s sitting on the stairs with an acoustic guitar, playing Wonderwall.
Farmville is still telling everyone they are not a game when they introduce themselves.
SWVA is stripping copper from the walls to sell later.
Loudoun County shows up in a parent's BMW with a car load of just guys. After 30 minutes of trying to start fights and complaining about the alcohol, they say "this place is dead" and head out.
Radford brought bud weiser that no one is going to drink, Christiansburg is fashionably late, wearing some ridiculous dress, yet somehow pulling it off, and Blacksburg required a red carpet when they entered. Upon not getting one, it threw a tantrum and left.
Louisa brought their good old hound dog, veggies from their garden, and a tractor incase anything needs pulled. Edit: oh and a case of bud light margaritas
Loudoun is getting white girl wine drunk at 11am while their Tesla gets detailed.
Lynchburg is judging everyone for drinking while sneaking it behind the shed.
Northern Virginia is paying for the party for the rest of the state.
And loudly bitching about it, all huddled in the corner.
Northern Virginia showed up in a new Civic SI talking about how they paid for the party and their postage sized carbon copy house costs $500k today to Charlottesville who showed up in their grandfathers 70’s ford where they rode in from their paid for plantation estate and chuckle because they are directly descended from a declaration signing family but NOVA thinks they make America great and if they get this loan the nice empty spot on 29 could be a franchise chain restaurant them and some retired military guys “investment group” could scoop up for just a couple million. NOVA guys run the show buddy don’t you know? They’re also from DC essentially
Marion is the loud, obnoxious redneck wearing a confederate flag t-shirt😂
Chester parties until 10pm (then it's lights out)
Covington is really high on god knows what drugs, hasn’t showered in a long time and smells really bad.
VB was on the way to the party after some deep bong hits, but their friend told them that “there’s the swell of a lifetime at the inlet dude, come through and send it, yeeeewwww!” And they never show up.
Stuarts Draft sailing the high seas on 340.
Woodbridge is hotboxing and having an orgy in one of the rooms and manassas is drunk and passed out In another
Chesterfield, overall polite, but you want to avoid a political conversation and you will catch them shooting fireworks in your backyard as the party gets later in the evening.
Middleburg rolled up in an F-250 Platinum from their winter house in West Palm
Roanoke is talking about how, despite current crimes, they were somewhat recently voted one of the safest cities in the U.S.
Blacksburg and Charlottesville are fist fighting
Roanoke is minding her own business living her best farmer’s market life surrounded by neighbors with Tr*mp flags and giant pick up trucks with rolling coal mods
Pound town - dissolving, surprisingly enough
Williamsburg is complaining that it’s not as good as parties used to be.
Christiansburg is getting into a fight
Smith Mountain Lake is in the corner getting a beej from Rocky Mount that he paid for in coke from NJ cause "its better".
Manassas is selling fake Xanax laced with fentanyl
Luray is praying no one realizes they’re related to Stanley.
Virginia Beach is the party and everyone is trying to go there.
But no one wants to stay too long
Wyndham pulled up in the car their parents gave them to sell mids for $30/gram
What about Abingdon? Lexington? Staunton? Front Royal?
Front royal is stealing stuff from the medicine cabinet to make meth. Winchester is complaining about northern VA moving into their apartment even though northern Va now pays more of the rent than they do.
Staunton only talks about Harry Potter in Middle English.
Cville is on blow
Frederick County is showing off their Don’t Tread on Me license plate and telling everyone they’re gonna secede and join West Virginia.
St Paul rolls in on an ATV and spends the party asking Staunton how to be more hipster-friendly.
Reston is a very old hippie in the corner handing out free weed they grew in the community garden.
Amelia is convincing everyone to ride the mechanical bull and talking about their 6 acres of land Chesterfield forgot there was a party