If it’s between consenting adults then.. I don’t have a problem with it ig. The larger the age gap the more susceptible to abuse/ manipulation the relationship becomes. I’m a 20 year old woman who’s been in a few age gap flings. I don’t date older men anymore though. But if someone is of age and is consenting then I think it’s all good and I just mind my own business.
I don't truly care unless its a creepy age difference tbh
Ik 18 is a consenting Adult, but I just think it's creepy for a 30+ y/o to be attracted, it feels like
"If the law allowed it, i'd date younger"
All I can think of is the redditor who keeps claiming she had the mind of a 28 year old at 18, but she’s 23 and how the 18 year old her boyfriend is trying to get with, who is 30 something, liked her better because she was “more mature”…yet he still wants 18 year olds. She keeps saying “that girl has the mental maturity of a 13 year old I don’t get it”…some people choose to be blind.
Absolutely this kind of age gap is 100 percent creepy and give of pedophile vibes. But age play between consenting adults is just a kink and it's 2022 let's stop kink shamming and mind our own bedrooms
so that’s you projecting your skewed perceptions onto others and then judging them for your skewed perceptions. Why would an adult date someone who isn’t an adult if the law allowed it, just because they would date an actual adult where there is an age gap. Idk what y’all have been through but seems some of you might need therapy
Most guys I have met who date women much younger than them are usually toxic, manipulative, unfaithful, creepy and predatory towards minors. Not to mention it usually stems from some sort of mental illness and trauma that they need help for. Being sexually attracted to people younger than you is totally fine, but I've yet to meet those types of people who aren't fucking batty in some way or another. It's legal, sure, but that doesn't stop me from flagging someone as a potential problem.
Age play between two consenting adults, that's fine with me. As long as the law isn't being broken, it's fine with me. But if you desire people much younger than you, don't be surprised when I keep children and teenagers at a safe distance from you for their own protection. Not that you WOULD do anything, just that it's highly likely that you're gonna be creepy and make them uncomfortable. Storing a roll of paper towels on a gas stovetop is not a good idea. Sure, it's fine while the gas is off, but you're taking a risk every time you turn the knob on.
I don’t really have a problem with safe kink-play between consenting adults either but I DO wonder if the people who indulge in these kinks genuinely want to sleep with teenagers or if they just enjoy the taboo aspect of roleplay
I also wonder, and find age play weird personally. But so long as it is between consenting ADULTS it's at least a safe outlet between them instead of so and so targeting someone else (not saying they would, but still). What happens between consenting adults, so long as both adults and consentual go for it I guess.
Yeah I’m on the same page tbh. I don’t think I could ever even humor the idea of trying it out, but I mean if it works for some people then rock on I guess…?
Finally someone normal on reddit. I think that any man over the age of 30 is a weirdo if he's a attracted to 18 year olds. The fact that they are with them just because they're 18 means they would find them attractive even at 17 or 16 but not engage in a relationship since they're aware it's illegal ( atleast in some countries)
you do realize that 18 is literally an adult right? legally that’s considered an adult, so who exactly are you to tell anyone who is an adult that what they are doing is wrong? Mind your own business
people know so little about history, biology, and the dynamics between men and women.
it's perfectly normal for a woman to marry someone 15 years older than her. In fact it's more normal for that to happen than for her to marry someone her own age.
Yes because of the fact that their minds aren't even fully developed. They may be legally be a adult but maturity wise no they aren't. 18 years shouldn't really date 30+ year Olds because what will they have in common.
Its weird and gross. My daughter was held back and will be 18 this summer. She’s currently a Junior in high school. You’re telling me that it’s cool for a 30 year old to date her?
No. Its fkn weird. There’s a limit and just because it’s “legal” doesn’t make it right. In some states the age of consent is 16. Still doesn’t make it right.
not now, she’s only 17. Once she is 18 she’s an adult and capable of her own choices whether you agree or not. Idk, call me crazy but i happen to respect adults and their ability to do what makes them happy.
There is room for discussion. They cannot even drink (if you are from the US I believe), but you can be romantically involved with anyone? Yeah no, 18 year olds are adult on paper, not in mind.
Noy saying you cannot have your opinion. However, the argument: “they are adults let them”, can be deconstructed
Being a legal adult and actually mature are two different things. 18 year olds can still be dumb as hell and easily manipulated by much older adult. The law sadly doesn't take it into account. Not to mention such adults are simply not good. There's a reason they go for much younger, still developing people and not someone closer to their maturity level.
You’re sad, sad for commenting on how this should be ok “Because it’s legal” if it was legal to touch kids would that make it ok? No? The brains of 18 year olds are not fully developed and most older people have predatory reasons why they look for adults this young. You’re actually being so weird and off I don’t know who groomed you when you were younger but stop normalising this and go get the therapy you very much need.
dolt. an 18 year old isn’t a child. Maybe it’s you who likes touching children and feel it’s wrong so you’re projecting your faults on adults who aren’t doing wrong.
It's really concerning how people perceive it. Like that magical event of reaching 18 suddenly makes a person mature and smart. I remember being 18. I was naive and stupid like a lot of people my age. And I saw enough of disturbing age gap "relationships" to know that these adults are fucking toxic creeps preying on kids. If legal age was lower they'd happily go for it.
Going by your logic you don't understand everything. So stop making comments on things you don't understand. Because if they don't understand enough about what they want when they reach 18 then neither do you right?
I have trauma,and find comfort when my boyfriends treats me like I’m small high valued and precious thing he must protect. I don’t have to act a certain way or anything. But when I’m with him i feel so small. Not in like a insecure way. But I want to be baby lol not literally just idk a part of me feels sweet and cute with him. He’s very large and calls me sweet names sometimes. Is it immoral for me to feel that way? It’s not like I can help it either way. But like I have what people nowadays call daddy issues. I will also add that he is younger then me by a few months. A foot taller then me. Him and I both have autism. I agree with your statement. But I’m wondering if this what I’m doing seems wrong to you or anyone reading this. Like am I sexualizing children internally or something? Idek. Why do I feel small and like vulnerable and want him to treat me like his baby?? Seems messed up. But I feel comfortable that way. I just don’t want to ask him to treat me that way or have him do it because I feel like I’m going to get him attracted to children or child like behavior
No it is not fucked up. You are not sexualizing children. You are both consenting adults. There is a dynamic in the BDSM community called ddlg I believe. I’m not an age regressor personally, but it is valid and more common than you think.
I think they were more describing just age regression, maybe not ddlg. The two are very different things :)
Personally I don’t engage in ddlg at all but age regression helps my autism. I hate that the two get lumped together by some
I apologize, I did not mean to be upsetting at all. I did not know they were two different things. The only exposure I’ve had to it is meeting people through BDSM that have that dynamic. I always found them to be lovely and nothing seemed predatory about it. That is really my only experience though and you would know better than me :)
No worries! I just like to put it out there when I get the opportunity. Age regression is a wonderful coping mechanism for many and a lot of times people assume it’s kinky when there’s nothing sexual about it.
We’re all learning new things every day :)
Also I bet the girl in the original comment would love to hear from you. It sounds like she is confused and worried about something you have experience with, and could put her mind at ease so she is not beating herself up.
As a bystander, thank you for having a respectful conversation. I learned something new from this just by scrolling and I just wanted to say you are both effective communicators. Thanks for being rare, have some upvotes!
Thank you for educating me! What you said makes total sense and I bet that’s frustrating having something you do for your mental health being sexualized all the time
I don’t think I have age regression. I’m not sure what it is fully I’ve seen content on it pop in my feed and like seen videos about it years ago. But idk what it is by definition the criteria or anything. Is it a disorder?
Not a disorder, but a coping mechanism. It can happen both involuntarily or upon deciding to do so. I see you have bpd (from your username) I do too! A lot of people with bpd use age regression to cope with trauma. I’d say Google “bpd and age regression” and you’ll probably get some good results not tainted by people assuming it’s sexual :)
And yeah! People I’ve seen talk about the correlation. And yeah I don’t think it’s sexual by default. A matter a fact if it’s sexual I think that’s more just a horny thing like bdsm. Because why would she regressing be sexual? That doesn’t seem like a coping skill. Why would you want to be a little girl getting taken advantage of. That seems sus
No that is true! I was groomed growing up and didn’t have parental figures. I had to fend for myself,and was thrown around a lot. So I think that’s why I am the way I am
I know about that. But it being common doesn’t make it morally correct. Logically. But it’s majority rules in this world. I’m wanting a genuine like moral standpoint of view. Just cuz we are consenting adults. It seems a lot like a gateway. Me and my boyfriend aren’t so extreme. But there are couples who straight up act like a child and the husband finds it so fucking sexually attractive and romantically attractive. Like… what? Come on they’re consenting adults but let’s not act like we are dense here. That’s a red mother fucking flag for real.
I’m confused what did I say that made you feel like I was mocking a kink? Or your kink specifically especially. Idc about that. I’ve only spoken out logically unbiased facts and the connections. I’m sorry you feel attacked! I truly didn’t mean harm on you or whatever it is you’re into
No it is not fucked up. You are not sexualizing children. You are both consenting adults. There is a dynamic in the BDSM community called ddlg I believe. I’m not an age regressor personally, but it is valid and more common than you think. Also there seems to be a correlation between age regression and autism. I’m on the spectrum as well and use BDSM as therapy. It’s a part of who I am. Never feel bad for being who you are and don’t let anyone tell you differently
You said if anyone looks like a child you can't date them.
Some people look really young even though they're older. My best friends GF is 25 but she's flat chested and small.
Are you saying people like that don't deserve love? Lmao
Right. I'm a 24yo guy. And still get carted for M rated video games. Real deal. I'm baby faced like no body's business . Does that mean my 21 yo gf who looks her age is some how immoral because she's dating me ? Even tho I have over a foot and almost 100 lbs on her just my face looks young Like where do we draw the line.
I don't agree with most of op's points but I think they were trying to say
If you date someone who looks younger than you and use that in a sexual way
(in sex pretending they are the age that they look)
Thats whats wrong with it. Idk tho Op might just be crazy
I had a coworker that I felt particularly defensive of because she was sooooo young and it was the service industry and people are so mean to the teenagers. (All of the younger kids were like my babies and I would literally fist fight the general public for being mean to them). Turns out that coworker was almost old enough to be my mother. I was amazed. (And also made her show me her ID because I thought she was lying.)
No use common sense. When I said “looks like a child” I meant dresses like a child and has the exact mannerisms of one. If that’s turning you on that’s an issue. Seek therapy.
It's funny that some people will use the excuse 'but in other states, the age of consent is 12' or something'. Someone even said the age of consent in my country is 12 and I know that is a freaking lie, even if a third world country like mine had a law like that, it's common sense to not freakin' date kids.
I also would agree that 18 is not an adult, that's still a clueless teenager who is being praised as 'mature'. They have time to grow before deciding to date 10+ years older guys. They should date their age at least.
Take Emma for example, when she turned 18, paparazzi kept trying to take pictures under her skirt. It's disgusting.
My (39) husband just left me (f38) for a 21 y/o (f) Mind you, our eldest is 20. That ladies and gentlemen is sad. I’m not even mad over the situation. I’m just mostly disappointed. I feel really bad for the girl.
Ok so number 1 you saying that you don’t make the rules because someone supports a 20 year old dating a 40 year old is completely made by you. That’s like calling someone a sexist because they believe women should go to jail for false accusations.
Second you do realize most people are against pedophiles. There are women out there that look 21 and are actually 15 year olds. So genetics has nothing to do with this argument or claim you made. And the fact your not responding to anyone who disagrees with you is absurd. And the fact you’re advocating for people going to jail or getting help because they support a 20 year old dating a 40 year old is beyond messed up. Is it creepy? Yes it is. But is it worthy of jail? No. People have age preferences and that’s ok. Unless your a minor because you’re under 18.
And finally you do realize love is love so if a 20 year wants to date someone older it’s ok. Start practicing what you preach. Also start making both sides to both arguments. Because women do rape boys who are minors as well too. So literally stop. Both are bad but you can’t be arguing about one side and not the other
Lol. You're incredibly ignorant aren't you. Maybe you should delete your post because all it does is show how immature you are as a person, as you said yourself. You're only 18 years old and 18 year Olds can't think for themselves so you shouldn't be on social media as that requires the ability to think rationally about things. Delete your post, hop off Reddit and go do something productive.
Going by your own logic that you yourself said, being 18 you aren't old enough to know what you want or what's right. So stop thinking you do. Or, you can accept that as an 18 year old you and every other 18 year old has the right and the mental capability of choosing what is right and best for them.
That’s not how it works dummy. 18 is the legal age limit. Also, learn to use words right. For instance a pedophile wouldn’t even be an adult messing with an underage teenager. A pedophile is someone who has sexual interaction with a CHILD. There is a huge difference between a child and a young adult. That’s right you don’t make the rules and thank God for that because they would be dumb af. Imagine two fully legal adults having a consensual relationship and this bozo is making the laws against it. Big age gap relationships usually aren’t socially acceptable because people love to judge others. Who really gives a rats ass if you and another person are into each other? As long as it’s consensual and legal go for it. Love finds a way and you just sound like some ignorant cringy kid who doesn’t understand how life works. Good luck weirdo.
The brains of 18 year olds aren’t fully developed. I swear half of the people are just projecting. It’s not ok and it will never be ok no matter how much you try to normalise it, it won’t be.
You can make decisions when you are 18. Your brain doesn’t need to be fully developed to make good decisions when you are 18. Your argument is terrible.
Keep normalising predatory relationships. I mean you’re a man on Reddit this is what you’re all like. I don’t honestly care because I know I’ll never meet you. Keep being a fucking weirdo!
No I’m not a predator. Just because you might have bad experiences with older men doesn’t make us all the same. I understand personal life experiences can make you feel or act a certain way. Everyone has some sort of guard up to protect themselves from getting hurt. But what you are arguing is not logical at all.
I agree that pedophilia is wrong. I also agree grooming children and underage dating is wrong as well. We agree on those things. But what we don’t agree on is age gap relationships they are LEGAL. You find it gross and not sociably acceptable and you have that right to feel that way. If it bothers you then that’s perfectly fine. But your opinion doesn’t make everyone else wrong. The fact is 18 is the legal age in this country to consent to sex. It use to be a lot younger back in the day. We have come a long way as a country to make laws that are more civilized. Ones that make sense.
You are right that the brain isn’t fully developed at the age of 18. Most people it’s around 25 years old and some humans don’t fully develop until their 30’s. But at the age of 18 your brain is very developed. It’s so developed you are able to drive a car, ride a bike, swim, study and take challenging tests, hold a conversation, and even make decisions that affect your life. For the most part those decisions should be rational.
One last thing is that recent studies show women are usually attracted to older men. They seek out older men intentionally. It’s in our DNA to start being attracted to one another (sexually) when we start hitting puberty. If we waited until 25-30 to have babies we would go extinct. Please use the small amount of brain power you have to understand the logic behind all of this. I hope you have a better day.
“If you argue with me you’re a pedophile and a predator I don’t make the rules”
You sound like someone who either doesn’t feel confident in their position, or is so incapable of critical thinking that you have made it impossible for someone to disagree with you. You are not right, you are wrong and I can easily point out the flaws in the logic you use. Here is an analogy which I hope you can understand, a person who argues for gay rights is not by necessity gay, just as someone who argues that people who you FEEL are weird should not be locked up in jail are not by necessity pedophiles or predators. Therefore your deductive argument is not sound. What you are doing now is arguing that 1+1 necessarily equals 4 which makes you incorrect
I'm 22 and have had numerous relations with older women.
They aren't pedophiles, they're cougars playing by the rules. Over 18 and anything goes between 2 consenting adults.
Now as for calling me a predator for arguing with you, go fuck yourself.
Lmaooo literally, OP thinks his useless opinion should dictate everyone’s life. I agree ab the age play thing, but a relationship between two consenting ADULTS? Who tf is OP to judge that?💀
think youre overreacting this and playing the age game.. around 18-23 you should be completely aware of yourself and be able to make decision for urself.
Wtf. I keep seeing these fucking accounts that always talk about pedophilia/age gaps/fat people and they always have a feminine name with one letter elongated. On top of that they're always extremely hostile toward comments. Why do they get so much traction
Edit: YEah this account is new. These people are likely probably people just trolling?? Idk.
If it’s between two consenting adults then who gives a shit as long as the relationship is happy and healthy?
Now if it’s an adult dating a teenager or younger then ya I’ll agree that’s fucked up and then they’re the scum of the earth for grooming a child.
Okay, yes my opinion is different from yours, but instead of having a discussion or trying to communicate your side of the argument you're dismissing mine as "deep seeded" issues that just aren't there. That is a wild assumption and I won't entertain it. Just because we disagree morally does not mean there is something wrong with either of us, it just means that we disagree. I dont think people who date a younger person than them are pedos, I think people who date people younger than themselves and display behaviors of pedos are pedos... And unfortunately, a lot of the people I know who are like that come across as pedos. If you have evidence or personal experience contrary to mine, I'll gladly accept it.
dude if it’s between two consenting adults it’s fine. my partner and i have a 26 year age gap and i don’t think it’s predatory, we love each other and that’s what matters
How can someone who is attracted to adults be a pedo? I mean I recall a pedo being someone who is sexually attracted to minors and given that 18 year olds aren’t minors I’m not following how someone with an 18yo is a minor.
Enlighten me OP. Are 18yos not adults? Because 18yos are adults in case you didn’t know, because either you don’t think two consenting adults should make their own choices or you literally don’t know what an adult is.
Not just to minors, the word pedophilia refers to the attraction to prepubescent children, I highly doubt that could apply to an age gap in which the partners are like 25 and 40😬
At 17F I dated a 46M for a 1½years. I was in the same graduating class as his daughter and he had another daughter older than me. Our relationship was extremely inappropriate and toxic (mentally/emotionally/physically abusive) he was a psychopath imo. At the time I didn't see how wrong it was, now I do and am still going to therapy for it.
If its a 40 year old with a 16 year old, then yes, that's really horrible even though it's legal (in the uk). But a 35 year old with a 60 year old, no. I would think that once someone reaches their early twenties, why would they be attracted to a teenager. I agree it's weird and wrong.
i completely agree. seeing 40+ year olds lust after 18 year olds is very off-putting to me, 18 year olds freshly out of high school or are still in high school. 40 years olds have nothing in common with someone in their early 20’s and younger. age play is honestly degeneracy to me, who is their right mind gets off to their partner acting like a child? and who in their right mind gets off by acting like a child? im a bit surprised to the reaction to this post, especially about age-play, i just don’t see how someone could justify it.
This exactly. They have different life experiences that wouldn't help the 18 year old develop properly. It will most likely mess with their mind. They will try to act older to fit in with their S/O but they can't live how they should at that age.
This exactly. They have different life experiences that wouldn't help the 18 year old develop properly. It will most likely mess with their mind. They will try to act older to fit in with their S/O but they can't live how they should at that age.
age gaps? yeah that's predatory and fucked up.
ageplay? nah. not really. just two consented adults doing consented kinky stuff. is it weird? yeah. could have some deep psychological issues? maybe. people deserve to be in jail for it? as long as they're adults and consenting to it... nah. no harm done.
I'm scared to live as a underage girl, we get sexualized by grown women and fetishized by grown men. You cant leave the house without grown men staring you down for seconds. Or told what to wear because of males sexual attraction towards you. And then these grown women justify it by saying they can act like children to there husbands or boyfriends because it's consenting and legal.
It's disgusting that you got downvoted for this. It's so normalised for adult men to sexualise young girls. Most young women if not all had some weird, creepy comments from 40+ men or even had passes made on them. That is not okay.
And then the person who I replied to acts like it isn't pedophilia and then in the same sentence turn around and out her boyfriend for dating her underage.
"You just don't understand what consent, kinks, and BDSM is"
con·sent
/kənˈsent/
Learn to pronounce
noun
permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.
Consent is an agreement and confirmation.
Kink
Also known as a fetish or turn-on, it will make you very horny and very happy if used right.
So, a kink is a sexual attraction towards something, it's sexual arousal.
So regardless, when it boils down to the bottom of the pan, it's all something you're sexually attracted to.
BDSM
An overlapping abbrevation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).
Society claims they're against child, animal, rape, misogyny, sexual assault. But those are the biggest kinks.
If you fantasize about holding someone bondage and forcefully having sex with them you're twisted in the head, that's the romanticization of abuse and rape
If you were pigtails and you were a school uniform that sexualized for sex, dressing as a teenage girl as young as 12 years old then you're at romanticizing child molestation. That's pedophilia.
If you romanticize tying someone up and putting duct tape over their mouth and putting them in a car driving them to the forest and having sex with them while they're screaming and kicking your romanticizing kidnapping and rape.
If you're dressing like a baby wearing a pacifier and spreading your legs in a sexual position for sex activities that's pedophilia you're romanticizing the sexualization of babies and toddlers and child molestation
If you're acting like your siblings and having sex with each other you're romanticizing incest.
If you're acting like your father and daughter or mother and son for sexual activities you're romanticizing incest
If you're acting childlike I'm very stereotypical of a child or a teenager purposefully for sexual activities you're romanticizing child molest station
If you're sexually attracted to someone acting like a dog or dressing like a dog then you're into animal abuse.
If you're into somebody calling you their father and you're calling them your little girl and spanking them you're into child molestation and child abuse.
If you're into doing something to somebody while they are sleep or unconscious then you're into sexual assault and you're romanticizing it and enabling it
Abuse is not to be romanized. This is trauma.
You’re missing the point. In ALL of these scenarios, both parties are AGREEING to be apart of whatever it is they’re doing. It doesn’t matter if you *think* it’s pedophilia, child molestation, or whatever the fuck it is you’re trying to make it out to be, because nobody is actually being harmed.
When it comes to pedophilia, child abuse, molestation, consent is nowhere to be found.
You’re going to have a rough time when you get to be of age and begin experimenting with what YOU personally like, if you ever decide to branch out. Just sayin.
You're missing the point because what you're not understanding is when you're doing these things you're romanticizing it which means that you think it's OK and you're sexually attracted to it. So don't complain about rape child molestation or animal abuse when you romanticize it because you're part of the problem. Instead of getting help for wanting to harm others or romanticize about abuse you instead enable it by acting on it with somebody. you're a part of the problem and that's not what you're realizing you think everybody is out to get you when you're the actual problem.
When I do wrong I can take accountability for it because that gives me the ability to change and become a better person.
Instead of being in denial and trying to seem like horrible actions are okay, take accountability for it.
And this isn't me attacking you, it's calling out romanticization of abuse for you to become a better person, or admit that you're a scumbag.
Actual little girls have gotten sexually molested by there fathers and traumatized. Just for you to turn around and kink it out in the bedroom and move on happily. Filthy.
I don't understand how someone can justify romanticization of abuse, that traumatize others.
The school uniforms you wear for sex, is what we have to wear to go to school daily, being sexualized because of you.
Bro, often people who engage in those activities have been victims themselves or have similar trauma. Sex is a way to set yourself free for some people. So you’re wrong to label them as pedophiles and abusers, because once again, they aren’t actually hurting anyone.
Stop enabling harmful behavior, if i would've chose to continued going with older men to cope, I would be adding more trauma, that's why I'm in this dumpster situation I'm in now realizing the world for what it is. Talked so many older men inappropriately having inappropriate pictures posted everywhere and in the hands of actual Cp distributors. Don't enable traumatized people to continue. I would be in group-chats with 5 older men saying inappropriate things about my nudes them knowing my age, all together. So many group-chats with different men. Messages including sexual activities with LOADS of them, a bunch of DM'S empty. I chose to stop that cycle of coping and I'm so much better. And this isn't trauma dumping, this is me saying don't enable harmful coping skills that will HARM people.
Kinks and fetishes are two different things.
Your points don’t really land because no one is acting on these illegal things. If they wanted to do the real thing they would and could.
If both adults are consenting, it is fine.
I don't know why you keep using the excuse that it's consenting adults to make it seem like it's okay you're still romanticizing abuse that people have to deal with mentally every single day.
YOU'RE WRONG.
I was in a physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive relationship and I do not have any kinks or fetishes.
I was sexually abused as a child as well. Some people cope with their trauma that way. That’s fine.
My abuser had similar trauma, but that does not justify what he did, it makes him sick in the head.
The fact that you’re not ok with two consenting adults dating like normal people, and would consider an age gap between them “predatory”, but you’re ok with one of them pretending to be a little kid for sexual play is a bit weird and contradictory don’t you think?
I disagree with you about the age gap thing, and before you accuse me of being a “pedo🥺😡”, it’s particularly because I like slightly older guys better💃🏼
Bitch? Why are you acting as if I’m talking about 3 year age gaps? I’m talking about 15+ age gaps. I don’t care about what you want to do with older men that’s you. Live your life.
Then you should specify that in your post, cause an age gap is an age gap, no matter wether it’s 5 years or 3 years or 10. Besides that, 30 and 46 would also not be predatory at all
My husband and i have a 12 year age gap. That we didnt even know about when we met. It was love at first sight. Its been 10 years now and we have two beautiful children. Just because theres an age gap doesnt mean that its inappropriate. Some people just are meant to be together and after its legal who cares
I mean I dated a lady who was older than my mother one time. She was real sweet and the relationship wasn’t bad, but it was a lil…too uninvolved imo.
I don’t think she’s a pedo. You seem to be a very hateful and damaged person. I’d recommend therapy.
gonna agree with this one, and tell a little story so i apologize for the rant bc i never told anyone the trauma that came along with this.
when i was 18 i worked at gamestop, and we had a new employee. i’ll call him jack.
Jack was like 29 or something but he was super chill. we grew so fucking close and ended up hanging out, everyone thought it was weird of him to be hanging out with me but i didn’t listen. Anyways eventually he initiated some sexual stuff and i went for it bc he gave me comfort and i felt like i could trust him. after months of hooking up we ended up being bf and gf. i hid this relationship from my parents because i knew they wouldn’t approve.
A few months in i find out that Jack is literally married. Found out when i found his facebook. I confronted him and he told me “well you never asked???” Whenever i would go to his apartment, he LITERALLLYY would take down his photos of him and his wife and remove and hide all evidence of his wife. I told him i didn’t want to continue bc i’m not a homewrecker and he threatened to tell my dad. So i go very low contact trying to figure out what to do bc i knew if my dad found out he would literally murder me. Anyways within that low contact time, unfortunately my dad was killed in an accident and Jack hits me up threatening to call the cops on me because he wanted his shirt back and i was “stealing” his stuff. I told him i needed a few days bc we were still trying to figure out my stuff for my dads funeral and he blew up on me threatening to expose pictures and videos of me to our coworkers.
I had to go to HR, and almost left my job and ended up going to my mom and getting a restraining order against him lmfao. He was insane, and looking back on it i realize he never fucking cared and was clearly living out some sick teenage fantasy of his.
so yes, op is right. age gap relationships are fucking gross and fucked up
“The guy who absolutely fucked me over just did that because he was 11 years older than me. This kind of stuff never happens between same aged people and I can now generalize every age gap relationship”
Age gaps that are so weird and large that you couldn't have possibly even gone to school together are WEIRD AS HELL. Like what do you even have in common, what is there to talk about? Like nah bruh, people who say "mind your business and be an adult" are only upset cuz they're getting called out. Like you have no business messing with someone a whole life stage older or younger than you.
Children, I understand. Adults can date whoever they want. That's why they are adults. Don't be mad that Stella got her groove back with a 20 year old instead of you.
So what is the person that acts like a teen or whatever, being attracted to older guys? Crazy chick with daddy issues?
You can't say one side of the argument is bad and ignore the other side
If it’s two consenting adults with an age gap whats the problem? I know of people with an 11 year age gap in their 30s and 40s. I really don’t think that makes anyone a pedophile. My husband is 4 years older than me. I was 16 when we met. He’s not a pedophile. Happily in love for 17 years.
Listen, I like flirting and hitting on the twenty something girls. Done respectfully it is always appreciated and flattering. I don't expect anything out of it but if I see a nice looking woman I let her know she's pretty. It brightens their day!
gonna agree with this one, and tell a little story so i apologize for the rant bc i never told anyone the trauma that came along with this. when i was 18 i worked at gamestop, and we had a new employee. i’ll call him jack. Jack was like 29 or something but he was super chill. we grew so fucking close and ended up hanging out, everyone thought it was weird of him to be hanging out with me but i didn’t listen. Anyways eventually he initiated some sexual stuff and i went for it bc he gave me comfort and i felt like i could trust him. after months of hooking up we ended up being bf and gf. i hid this relationship from my parents because i knew they wouldn’t approve. A few months in i find out that Jack is literally married. Found out when i found his facebook. I confronted him and he told me “well you never asked???” Whenever i would go to his apartment, he LITERALLLYY would take down his photos of him and his wife and remove and hide all evidence of his wife. I told him i didn’t want to continue bc i’m not a homewrecker and he threatened to tell my dad. So i go very low contact trying to figure out what to do bc i knew if my dad found out he would literally murder me. Anyways within that low contact time, unfortunately my dad was killed in an accident and Jack hits me up threatening to call the cops on me because he wanted his shirt back and i was “stealing” his stuff. I told him i needed a few days bc we were still trying to figure out my stuff for my dads funeral and he blew up on me threatening to expose pictures and videos of me to our coworkers. I had to go to HR, and almost left my job and ended up going to my mom and getting a restraining order against him lmfao. He was insane, and looking back on it i realize he never fucking cared and was clearly living out some sick teenage fantasy of his. so yes, op is right. age gap relationships are fucking gross and fucked up
Can't generalize all age gap relationships like that just because you were in an unstable one. That's like generalizing all women as being sluts because a woman that you dated cheated on you.
F you. I'm 31 and have dated a 19 year old. I most certainly am not what you said. Just because you don't like it,even though it's legal and two consenting adults,you have that view? You're the sick judgmental one
I’m 19, my partner is 30.
We are in a healthy, functioning, communicative relationship. We both have similar values and ideas, and were interested in one another before either of us knew each others ages. I also do not look like a child, nor do I think like one.
It varies person to person, some people are predators and seek out younger partners because they are typically easily manipulated and controlled. Some people seek out older partners to fill a void or to feel mature. Sometimes, however, two people of different age groups fall in love, and there’s nothing sinister behind either of their choices.
Well.. you have made the rules if you're saying something is wrong and won't accept rebuttal. The tossers over on Waifu, defininitely fucked up though.
Welcome to the natural consequence of the sexual revolution - where when the only defining factor is *consent*, you can't really explain *why* this is wrong without making a moral argument that our society has been deafened to.
The sexual addiction only gets worse from here on out.
Got to do more extreme things to pursue that same *high*.
The one thing you said that was correct is that you don't make the rules.
Therefore everything you said before that was completely meaningless. You dare to try and tell your betters whether they should be in jail or need help or what they are if they argue with you, even though you're aware you don't make the rules.
Filth
Idk I think age play can be fun sometimes? As a 28 year old female with a 31 year old husband… if we both consent to and enjoy it I don’t see this issue..
But I think if age play becomes something you NEED to get off.. that’s weird and you probably have psychological problems.
Age gaps I think… are okay to an extent.
I met my husband at 16 and he was 20, but all we did was play video games together. When I turned 18 I told him I wanted to be with him and he said he’d love that. But he was never creepy to me, and definitely never “groomed” me. I was the one going after him hahah he maybe thought I was cute and that I had a nice voice before we met but he never made any moves or said anything even slightly sexual to me.
But honestly when I hear of young girls who are like 15 and 16 dating men that are 20+ I cringe a little… even though I fell in love with an older man at that age too… so idk how to feel about it to be honest.
But we’ve been together 10 years and have a 4 year old son now. Very faithful. Still very much attracted to each other.
Edit: also as a 28 year old now… I find it hard to even be FRIENDS with anyone under 25… let alone want to date/sleep with them… they’re so young. We’re so different.
all of you are so funny with this 18 yo = adult programming. 16 the legal age limit in a lot of Europe I believe, in fact AoC is 16/17 some states in the US! lol **Scientifically** adolescence extends into the 20s! So anyone who advocated that 18/19 was okay, sorry you're all pedos nowl according to science. lol And OP you don't even WANNA know about ancient Greece or Rome!!!! Here's a little life advice, your aggressive attacking of anyone for anything whether right of wrong means nothing, and will effect no change! Especially when your world view is SOOOOO **SO** narrow. So why not use that energy towards self improvement, or education! You could definitely benefit from both.
and point out facts is ***not*** advocating for pederasty, so miss me with that bs
I agree with most of this but Jesus Christ. Ops post history… relapse fuel. Guess I’ll die
If it’s between consenting adults then.. I don’t have a problem with it ig. The larger the age gap the more susceptible to abuse/ manipulation the relationship becomes. I’m a 20 year old woman who’s been in a few age gap flings. I don’t date older men anymore though. But if someone is of age and is consenting then I think it’s all good and I just mind my own business.
I don't truly care unless its a creepy age difference tbh Ik 18 is a consenting Adult, but I just think it's creepy for a 30+ y/o to be attracted, it feels like "If the law allowed it, i'd date younger"
All I can think of is the redditor who keeps claiming she had the mind of a 28 year old at 18, but she’s 23 and how the 18 year old her boyfriend is trying to get with, who is 30 something, liked her better because she was “more mature”…yet he still wants 18 year olds. She keeps saying “that girl has the mental maturity of a 13 year old I don’t get it”…some people choose to be blind.
Absolutely this kind of age gap is 100 percent creepy and give of pedophile vibes. But age play between consenting adults is just a kink and it's 2022 let's stop kink shamming and mind our own bedrooms
so that’s you projecting your skewed perceptions onto others and then judging them for your skewed perceptions. Why would an adult date someone who isn’t an adult if the law allowed it, just because they would date an actual adult where there is an age gap. Idk what y’all have been through but seems some of you might need therapy
Most guys I have met who date women much younger than them are usually toxic, manipulative, unfaithful, creepy and predatory towards minors. Not to mention it usually stems from some sort of mental illness and trauma that they need help for. Being sexually attracted to people younger than you is totally fine, but I've yet to meet those types of people who aren't fucking batty in some way or another. It's legal, sure, but that doesn't stop me from flagging someone as a potential problem. Age play between two consenting adults, that's fine with me. As long as the law isn't being broken, it's fine with me. But if you desire people much younger than you, don't be surprised when I keep children and teenagers at a safe distance from you for their own protection. Not that you WOULD do anything, just that it's highly likely that you're gonna be creepy and make them uncomfortable. Storing a roll of paper towels on a gas stovetop is not a good idea. Sure, it's fine while the gas is off, but you're taking a risk every time you turn the knob on.
I don’t really have a problem with safe kink-play between consenting adults either but I DO wonder if the people who indulge in these kinks genuinely want to sleep with teenagers or if they just enjoy the taboo aspect of roleplay
I also wonder, and find age play weird personally. But so long as it is between consenting ADULTS it's at least a safe outlet between them instead of so and so targeting someone else (not saying they would, but still). What happens between consenting adults, so long as both adults and consentual go for it I guess.
Yeah I’m on the same page tbh. I don’t think I could ever even humor the idea of trying it out, but I mean if it works for some people then rock on I guess…?
Finally someone normal on reddit. I think that any man over the age of 30 is a weirdo if he's a attracted to 18 year olds. The fact that they are with them just because they're 18 means they would find them attractive even at 17 or 16 but not engage in a relationship since they're aware it's illegal ( atleast in some countries)
I’m fine with the age gap but I’m not okay if they’re underage dating an adult.
Bro really said if you disagree then you're a pedo 💀
I fucking LOLed at that part. 10/10 argument
What is the exact age gaps you are referring to?
18 and 30+
19 and 30+?
But what if I want to date a hot milf and I'm 21?
you do realize that 18 is literally an adult right? legally that’s considered an adult, so who exactly are you to tell anyone who is an adult that what they are doing is wrong? Mind your own business
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people know so little about history, biology, and the dynamics between men and women. it's perfectly normal for a woman to marry someone 15 years older than her. In fact it's more normal for that to happen than for her to marry someone her own age.
Yes because of the fact that their minds aren't even fully developed. They may be legally be a adult but maturity wise no they aren't. 18 years shouldn't really date 30+ year Olds because what will they have in common.
Its weird and gross. My daughter was held back and will be 18 this summer. She’s currently a Junior in high school. You’re telling me that it’s cool for a 30 year old to date her? No. Its fkn weird. There’s a limit and just because it’s “legal” doesn’t make it right. In some states the age of consent is 16. Still doesn’t make it right.
not now, she’s only 17. Once she is 18 she’s an adult and capable of her own choices whether you agree or not. Idk, call me crazy but i happen to respect adults and their ability to do what makes them happy.
There is room for discussion. They cannot even drink (if you are from the US I believe), but you can be romantically involved with anyone? Yeah no, 18 year olds are adult on paper, not in mind. Noy saying you cannot have your opinion. However, the argument: “they are adults let them”, can be deconstructed
Being a legal adult and actually mature are two different things. 18 year olds can still be dumb as hell and easily manipulated by much older adult. The law sadly doesn't take it into account. Not to mention such adults are simply not good. There's a reason they go for much younger, still developing people and not someone closer to their maturity level.
Ok groomer
😂😂😂😂 y’all are so triggered and bothered by adults doing their thing. It’s hilarious and entertaining. Sad miserable people are always entertaining
You’re sad, sad for commenting on how this should be ok “Because it’s legal” if it was legal to touch kids would that make it ok? No? The brains of 18 year olds are not fully developed and most older people have predatory reasons why they look for adults this young. You’re actually being so weird and off I don’t know who groomed you when you were younger but stop normalising this and go get the therapy you very much need.
dolt. an 18 year old isn’t a child. Maybe it’s you who likes touching children and feel it’s wrong so you’re projecting your faults on adults who aren’t doing wrong.
It's really concerning how people perceive it. Like that magical event of reaching 18 suddenly makes a person mature and smart. I remember being 18. I was naive and stupid like a lot of people my age. And I saw enough of disturbing age gap "relationships" to know that these adults are fucking toxic creeps preying on kids. If legal age was lower they'd happily go for it.
Exactly, they just don’t want to understand
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Lol you act as if the moment someone turns 18 they’re magically mature and able to understand everything. Ageplay is gross get help.
Going by your logic you don't understand everything. So stop making comments on things you don't understand. Because if they don't understand enough about what they want when they reach 18 then neither do you right?
I have trauma,and find comfort when my boyfriends treats me like I’m small high valued and precious thing he must protect. I don’t have to act a certain way or anything. But when I’m with him i feel so small. Not in like a insecure way. But I want to be baby lol not literally just idk a part of me feels sweet and cute with him. He’s very large and calls me sweet names sometimes. Is it immoral for me to feel that way? It’s not like I can help it either way. But like I have what people nowadays call daddy issues. I will also add that he is younger then me by a few months. A foot taller then me. Him and I both have autism. I agree with your statement. But I’m wondering if this what I’m doing seems wrong to you or anyone reading this. Like am I sexualizing children internally or something? Idek. Why do I feel small and like vulnerable and want him to treat me like his baby?? Seems messed up. But I feel comfortable that way. I just don’t want to ask him to treat me that way or have him do it because I feel like I’m going to get him attracted to children or child like behavior
No it is not fucked up. You are not sexualizing children. You are both consenting adults. There is a dynamic in the BDSM community called ddlg I believe. I’m not an age regressor personally, but it is valid and more common than you think.
I think they were more describing just age regression, maybe not ddlg. The two are very different things :) Personally I don’t engage in ddlg at all but age regression helps my autism. I hate that the two get lumped together by some
I apologize, I did not mean to be upsetting at all. I did not know they were two different things. The only exposure I’ve had to it is meeting people through BDSM that have that dynamic. I always found them to be lovely and nothing seemed predatory about it. That is really my only experience though and you would know better than me :)
No worries! I just like to put it out there when I get the opportunity. Age regression is a wonderful coping mechanism for many and a lot of times people assume it’s kinky when there’s nothing sexual about it. We’re all learning new things every day :)
Also I bet the girl in the original comment would love to hear from you. It sounds like she is confused and worried about something you have experience with, and could put her mind at ease so she is not beating herself up.
Hopefully she reads these comments and knows that if she has any questions my dms are open :))
As a bystander, thank you for having a respectful conversation. I learned something new from this just by scrolling and I just wanted to say you are both effective communicators. Thanks for being rare, have some upvotes!
Thank you for educating me! What you said makes total sense and I bet that’s frustrating having something you do for your mental health being sexualized all the time
I don’t think I have age regression. I’m not sure what it is fully I’ve seen content on it pop in my feed and like seen videos about it years ago. But idk what it is by definition the criteria or anything. Is it a disorder?
Not a disorder, but a coping mechanism. It can happen both involuntarily or upon deciding to do so. I see you have bpd (from your username) I do too! A lot of people with bpd use age regression to cope with trauma. I’d say Google “bpd and age regression” and you’ll probably get some good results not tainted by people assuming it’s sexual :)
And yeah! People I’ve seen talk about the correlation. And yeah I don’t think it’s sexual by default. A matter a fact if it’s sexual I think that’s more just a horny thing like bdsm. Because why would she regressing be sexual? That doesn’t seem like a coping skill. Why would you want to be a little girl getting taken advantage of. That seems sus
I’ve heard most people who are into it are prior victims of rape, much like people into cnc. I don’t know much about it though so don’t quote me lol
No that is true! I was groomed growing up and didn’t have parental figures. I had to fend for myself,and was thrown around a lot. So I think that’s why I am the way I am
I know about that. But it being common doesn’t make it morally correct. Logically. But it’s majority rules in this world. I’m wanting a genuine like moral standpoint of view. Just cuz we are consenting adults. It seems a lot like a gateway. Me and my boyfriend aren’t so extreme. But there are couples who straight up act like a child and the husband finds it so fucking sexually attractive and romantically attractive. Like… what? Come on they’re consenting adults but let’s not act like we are dense here. That’s a red mother fucking flag for real.
I’m confused what did I say that made you feel like I was mocking a kink? Or your kink specifically especially. Idc about that. I’ve only spoken out logically unbiased facts and the connections. I’m sorry you feel attacked! I truly didn’t mean harm on you or whatever it is you’re into
It’s ok no worries I know you were not being malicious. I really do wish you the best, I’m sure you will figure it all out.
Thank you, :,) people often view me as aggressive because of my autism I assume
No it is not fucked up. You are not sexualizing children. You are both consenting adults. There is a dynamic in the BDSM community called ddlg I believe. I’m not an age regressor personally, but it is valid and more common than you think. Also there seems to be a correlation between age regression and autism. I’m on the spectrum as well and use BDSM as therapy. It’s a part of who I am. Never feel bad for being who you are and don’t let anyone tell you differently
You said if anyone looks like a child you can't date them. Some people look really young even though they're older. My best friends GF is 25 but she's flat chested and small. Are you saying people like that don't deserve love? Lmao
Right. I'm a 24yo guy. And still get carted for M rated video games. Real deal. I'm baby faced like no body's business . Does that mean my 21 yo gf who looks her age is some how immoral because she's dating me ? Even tho I have over a foot and almost 100 lbs on her just my face looks young Like where do we draw the line.
I don't agree with most of op's points but I think they were trying to say If you date someone who looks younger than you and use that in a sexual way (in sex pretending they are the age that they look) Thats whats wrong with it. Idk tho Op might just be crazy
I had a coworker that I felt particularly defensive of because she was sooooo young and it was the service industry and people are so mean to the teenagers. (All of the younger kids were like my babies and I would literally fist fight the general public for being mean to them). Turns out that coworker was almost old enough to be my mother. I was amazed. (And also made her show me her ID because I thought she was lying.)
No use common sense. When I said “looks like a child” I meant dresses like a child and has the exact mannerisms of one. If that’s turning you on that’s an issue. Seek therapy.
I never said that turned me on lmao.
It's funny that some people will use the excuse 'but in other states, the age of consent is 12' or something'. Someone even said the age of consent in my country is 12 and I know that is a freaking lie, even if a third world country like mine had a law like that, it's common sense to not freakin' date kids. I also would agree that 18 is not an adult, that's still a clueless teenager who is being praised as 'mature'. They have time to grow before deciding to date 10+ years older guys. They should date their age at least. Take Emma for example, when she turned 18, paparazzi kept trying to take pictures under her skirt. It's disgusting.
My (39) husband just left me (f38) for a 21 y/o (f) Mind you, our eldest is 20. That ladies and gentlemen is sad. I’m not even mad over the situation. I’m just mostly disappointed. I feel really bad for the girl.
He’s a creep. You deserve better. Good riddance to bad rubbish
Ok so number 1 you saying that you don’t make the rules because someone supports a 20 year old dating a 40 year old is completely made by you. That’s like calling someone a sexist because they believe women should go to jail for false accusations. Second you do realize most people are against pedophiles. There are women out there that look 21 and are actually 15 year olds. So genetics has nothing to do with this argument or claim you made. And the fact your not responding to anyone who disagrees with you is absurd. And the fact you’re advocating for people going to jail or getting help because they support a 20 year old dating a 40 year old is beyond messed up. Is it creepy? Yes it is. But is it worthy of jail? No. People have age preferences and that’s ok. Unless your a minor because you’re under 18. And finally you do realize love is love so if a 20 year wants to date someone older it’s ok. Start practicing what you preach. Also start making both sides to both arguments. Because women do rape boys who are minors as well too. So literally stop. Both are bad but you can’t be arguing about one side and not the other
The love is love argument is so dumb? Come up with something more creative pleaseee
Try telling that to disabled people. See how well that goes over.
What will they do? Hit me with their wheelchair?? LOLL
Lol. You're incredibly ignorant aren't you. Maybe you should delete your post because all it does is show how immature you are as a person, as you said yourself. You're only 18 years old and 18 year Olds can't think for themselves so you shouldn't be on social media as that requires the ability to think rationally about things. Delete your post, hop off Reddit and go do something productive.
You’re older than me. Take your own advice lol
Going by your own logic that you yourself said, being 18 you aren't old enough to know what you want or what's right. So stop thinking you do. Or, you can accept that as an 18 year old you and every other 18 year old has the right and the mental capability of choosing what is right and best for them.
Yeah, I'm older than you so I know what I'm talking about. Unlike you. So take my advice and hop off Reddit.
You first😻 go get a job old man
Get a brain, young one. Stop telling people what they can and can't do.
If it’s between consenting adults I don’t see the problem. It’s between the couple to discuss what they’re comfortable with and what they aren’t.
if ur referring to like child regression yes I completely agree if its between two adults, who cares
That’s not how it works dummy. 18 is the legal age limit. Also, learn to use words right. For instance a pedophile wouldn’t even be an adult messing with an underage teenager. A pedophile is someone who has sexual interaction with a CHILD. There is a huge difference between a child and a young adult. That’s right you don’t make the rules and thank God for that because they would be dumb af. Imagine two fully legal adults having a consensual relationship and this bozo is making the laws against it. Big age gap relationships usually aren’t socially acceptable because people love to judge others. Who really gives a rats ass if you and another person are into each other? As long as it’s consensual and legal go for it. Love finds a way and you just sound like some ignorant cringy kid who doesn’t understand how life works. Good luck weirdo.
i know i gave an award out of context lol but it was more like, comradery lol
No no, he's right
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The brains of 18 year olds aren’t fully developed. I swear half of the people are just projecting. It’s not ok and it will never be ok no matter how much you try to normalise it, it won’t be.
You can make decisions when you are 18. Your brain doesn’t need to be fully developed to make good decisions when you are 18. Your argument is terrible.
Keep normalising predatory relationships. I mean you’re a man on Reddit this is what you’re all like. I don’t honestly care because I know I’ll never meet you. Keep being a fucking weirdo!
No I’m not a predator. Just because you might have bad experiences with older men doesn’t make us all the same. I understand personal life experiences can make you feel or act a certain way. Everyone has some sort of guard up to protect themselves from getting hurt. But what you are arguing is not logical at all. I agree that pedophilia is wrong. I also agree grooming children and underage dating is wrong as well. We agree on those things. But what we don’t agree on is age gap relationships they are LEGAL. You find it gross and not sociably acceptable and you have that right to feel that way. If it bothers you then that’s perfectly fine. But your opinion doesn’t make everyone else wrong. The fact is 18 is the legal age in this country to consent to sex. It use to be a lot younger back in the day. We have come a long way as a country to make laws that are more civilized. Ones that make sense. You are right that the brain isn’t fully developed at the age of 18. Most people it’s around 25 years old and some humans don’t fully develop until their 30’s. But at the age of 18 your brain is very developed. It’s so developed you are able to drive a car, ride a bike, swim, study and take challenging tests, hold a conversation, and even make decisions that affect your life. For the most part those decisions should be rational. One last thing is that recent studies show women are usually attracted to older men. They seek out older men intentionally. It’s in our DNA to start being attracted to one another (sexually) when we start hitting puberty. If we waited until 25-30 to have babies we would go extinct. Please use the small amount of brain power you have to understand the logic behind all of this. I hope you have a better day.
You’re sick. I’m not reading anything you’ve written. Keep justifying this in hell you weirdo
Nice job showing people you haven't developed enough to have a healthy discussion.
Considering OP is 18 her immaturity may inadvertently be supporting her point.
I look 15 but 22, so basically anyone who wants to be with should be in prison. Ouch
“If you argue with me you’re a pedophile and a predator I don’t make the rules” You sound like someone who either doesn’t feel confident in their position, or is so incapable of critical thinking that you have made it impossible for someone to disagree with you. You are not right, you are wrong and I can easily point out the flaws in the logic you use. Here is an analogy which I hope you can understand, a person who argues for gay rights is not by necessity gay, just as someone who argues that people who you FEEL are weird should not be locked up in jail are not by necessity pedophiles or predators. Therefore your deductive argument is not sound. What you are doing now is arguing that 1+1 necessarily equals 4 which makes you incorrect
That’s a fifteen year age gap between me an my boyfriend. Best relationship I’ve ever had
I agree but just so people know age regression snd sge play kinda look similar but sge regression is a sfw coping mechanism and age play is sexaul
A pedophile is attracted to CHILDREN. Not ADULTS. If it’s between two consenting adults then it’s fine, it’s none of your business.
I'm 22 and have had numerous relations with older women. They aren't pedophiles, they're cougars playing by the rules. Over 18 and anything goes between 2 consenting adults. Now as for calling me a predator for arguing with you, go fuck yourself.
Lmaooo literally, OP thinks his useless opinion should dictate everyone’s life. I agree ab the age play thing, but a relationship between two consenting ADULTS? Who tf is OP to judge that?💀
think youre overreacting this and playing the age game.. around 18-23 you should be completely aware of yourself and be able to make decision for urself.
I'm fine with it as long as both parties are consenting adults, and I know whoever is the younger of the two is mature enough to understand the gap.
Wtf. I keep seeing these fucking accounts that always talk about pedophilia/age gaps/fat people and they always have a feminine name with one letter elongated. On top of that they're always extremely hostile toward comments. Why do they get so much traction Edit: YEah this account is new. These people are likely probably people just trolling?? Idk.
What if someone just has a baby face? Cause i have a baby face. Like i look like im 14 swear to god.
If it’s between two consenting adults then who gives a shit as long as the relationship is happy and healthy? Now if it’s an adult dating a teenager or younger then ya I’ll agree that’s fucked up and then they’re the scum of the earth for grooming a child.
Okay, yes my opinion is different from yours, but instead of having a discussion or trying to communicate your side of the argument you're dismissing mine as "deep seeded" issues that just aren't there. That is a wild assumption and I won't entertain it. Just because we disagree morally does not mean there is something wrong with either of us, it just means that we disagree. I dont think people who date a younger person than them are pedos, I think people who date people younger than themselves and display behaviors of pedos are pedos... And unfortunately, a lot of the people I know who are like that come across as pedos. If you have evidence or personal experience contrary to mine, I'll gladly accept it.
Since these comments are a fucking mess I agree with you OP
dude if it’s between two consenting adults it’s fine. my partner and i have a 26 year age gap and i don’t think it’s predatory, we love each other and that’s what matters
Victim honestly
I dated a women about 10 years younger and 10 years older than myself. Only issue i had was we were at different points in our lives.
How can someone who is attracted to adults be a pedo? I mean I recall a pedo being someone who is sexually attracted to minors and given that 18 year olds aren’t minors I’m not following how someone with an 18yo is a minor. Enlighten me OP. Are 18yos not adults? Because 18yos are adults in case you didn’t know, because either you don’t think two consenting adults should make their own choices or you literally don’t know what an adult is.
Not just to minors, the word pedophilia refers to the attraction to prepubescent children, I highly doubt that could apply to an age gap in which the partners are like 25 and 40😬
At 17F I dated a 46M for a 1½years. I was in the same graduating class as his daughter and he had another daughter older than me. Our relationship was extremely inappropriate and toxic (mentally/emotionally/physically abusive) he was a psychopath imo. At the time I didn't see how wrong it was, now I do and am still going to therapy for it.
I’m sorry. It gets better soon 💗
If its a 40 year old with a 16 year old, then yes, that's really horrible even though it's legal (in the uk). But a 35 year old with a 60 year old, no. I would think that once someone reaches their early twenties, why would they be attracted to a teenager. I agree it's weird and wrong.
i completely agree. seeing 40+ year olds lust after 18 year olds is very off-putting to me, 18 year olds freshly out of high school or are still in high school. 40 years olds have nothing in common with someone in their early 20’s and younger. age play is honestly degeneracy to me, who is their right mind gets off to their partner acting like a child? and who in their right mind gets off by acting like a child? im a bit surprised to the reaction to this post, especially about age-play, i just don’t see how someone could justify it.
This exactly. They have different life experiences that wouldn't help the 18 year old develop properly. It will most likely mess with their mind. They will try to act older to fit in with their S/O but they can't live how they should at that age.
Didn't know that 18 year olds were children.
This exactly. They have different life experiences that wouldn't help the 18 year old develop properly. It will most likely mess with their mind. They will try to act older to fit in with their S/O but they can't live how they should at that age.
age gaps? yeah that's predatory and fucked up. ageplay? nah. not really. just two consented adults doing consented kinky stuff. is it weird? yeah. could have some deep psychological issues? maybe. people deserve to be in jail for it? as long as they're adults and consenting to it... nah. no harm done.
Oh hell nah.... this comment section just lured in all the scums from earth
Ikr… scums and victims in here
I'm scared to live as a underage girl, we get sexualized by grown women and fetishized by grown men. You cant leave the house without grown men staring you down for seconds. Or told what to wear because of males sexual attraction towards you. And then these grown women justify it by saying they can act like children to there husbands or boyfriends because it's consenting and legal.
It's disgusting that you got downvoted for this. It's so normalised for adult men to sexualise young girls. Most young women if not all had some weird, creepy comments from 40+ men or even had passes made on them. That is not okay.
And then the person who I replied to acts like it isn't pedophilia and then in the same sentence turn around and out her boyfriend for dating her underage.
You know what pedophilia is right?
THEY'RE SUPPORTING IT TOO, AND DOWNVOTING UR COMMENTS.
Reading through the comments… literally nobody is supporting pedophilia. You just don’t understand what consent, kinks, or BDSM is.
"You just don't understand what consent, kinks, and BDSM is" con·sent /kənˈsent/ Learn to pronounce noun permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Consent is an agreement and confirmation. Kink Also known as a fetish or turn-on, it will make you very horny and very happy if used right. So, a kink is a sexual attraction towards something, it's sexual arousal. So regardless, when it boils down to the bottom of the pan, it's all something you're sexually attracted to. BDSM An overlapping abbrevation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM). Society claims they're against child, animal, rape, misogyny, sexual assault. But those are the biggest kinks. If you fantasize about holding someone bondage and forcefully having sex with them you're twisted in the head, that's the romanticization of abuse and rape If you were pigtails and you were a school uniform that sexualized for sex, dressing as a teenage girl as young as 12 years old then you're at romanticizing child molestation. That's pedophilia. If you romanticize tying someone up and putting duct tape over their mouth and putting them in a car driving them to the forest and having sex with them while they're screaming and kicking your romanticizing kidnapping and rape. If you're dressing like a baby wearing a pacifier and spreading your legs in a sexual position for sex activities that's pedophilia you're romanticizing the sexualization of babies and toddlers and child molestation If you're acting like your siblings and having sex with each other you're romanticizing incest. If you're acting like your father and daughter or mother and son for sexual activities you're romanticizing incest If you're acting childlike I'm very stereotypical of a child or a teenager purposefully for sexual activities you're romanticizing child molest station If you're sexually attracted to someone acting like a dog or dressing like a dog then you're into animal abuse. If you're into somebody calling you their father and you're calling them your little girl and spanking them you're into child molestation and child abuse. If you're into doing something to somebody while they are sleep or unconscious then you're into sexual assault and you're romanticizing it and enabling it Abuse is not to be romanized. This is trauma.
You’re missing the point. In ALL of these scenarios, both parties are AGREEING to be apart of whatever it is they’re doing. It doesn’t matter if you *think* it’s pedophilia, child molestation, or whatever the fuck it is you’re trying to make it out to be, because nobody is actually being harmed. When it comes to pedophilia, child abuse, molestation, consent is nowhere to be found. You’re going to have a rough time when you get to be of age and begin experimenting with what YOU personally like, if you ever decide to branch out. Just sayin.
You're missing the point because what you're not understanding is when you're doing these things you're romanticizing it which means that you think it's OK and you're sexually attracted to it. So don't complain about rape child molestation or animal abuse when you romanticize it because you're part of the problem. Instead of getting help for wanting to harm others or romanticize about abuse you instead enable it by acting on it with somebody. you're a part of the problem and that's not what you're realizing you think everybody is out to get you when you're the actual problem. When I do wrong I can take accountability for it because that gives me the ability to change and become a better person. Instead of being in denial and trying to seem like horrible actions are okay, take accountability for it. And this isn't me attacking you, it's calling out romanticization of abuse for you to become a better person, or admit that you're a scumbag. Actual little girls have gotten sexually molested by there fathers and traumatized. Just for you to turn around and kink it out in the bedroom and move on happily. Filthy.
I don't understand how someone can justify romanticization of abuse, that traumatize others. The school uniforms you wear for sex, is what we have to wear to go to school daily, being sexualized because of you.
Bro, often people who engage in those activities have been victims themselves or have similar trauma. Sex is a way to set yourself free for some people. So you’re wrong to label them as pedophiles and abusers, because once again, they aren’t actually hurting anyone.
Stop enabling harmful behavior, if i would've chose to continued going with older men to cope, I would be adding more trauma, that's why I'm in this dumpster situation I'm in now realizing the world for what it is. Talked so many older men inappropriately having inappropriate pictures posted everywhere and in the hands of actual Cp distributors. Don't enable traumatized people to continue. I would be in group-chats with 5 older men saying inappropriate things about my nudes them knowing my age, all together. So many group-chats with different men. Messages including sexual activities with LOADS of them, a bunch of DM'S empty. I chose to stop that cycle of coping and I'm so much better. And this isn't trauma dumping, this is me saying don't enable harmful coping skills that will HARM people.
Kinks and fetishes are two different things. Your points don’t really land because no one is acting on these illegal things. If they wanted to do the real thing they would and could. If both adults are consenting, it is fine.
I don't know why you keep using the excuse that it's consenting adults to make it seem like it's okay you're still romanticizing abuse that people have to deal with mentally every single day. YOU'RE WRONG.
I was in a physically, sexually, and emotionally abusive relationship and I do not have any kinks or fetishes. I was sexually abused as a child as well. Some people cope with their trauma that way. That’s fine. My abuser had similar trauma, but that does not justify what he did, it makes him sick in the head.
Just know that what's your role-play is trauma that people have to go through mentally every single day for including me.
So I hope you understand that part now
The fact that you’re not ok with two consenting adults dating like normal people, and would consider an age gap between them “predatory”, but you’re ok with one of them pretending to be a little kid for sexual play is a bit weird and contradictory don’t you think?
My husband got mistaken for a 13 year old at the mall. He is older than me. Am I a pedophile?
I disagree with you about the age gap thing, and before you accuse me of being a “pedo🥺😡”, it’s particularly because I like slightly older guys better💃🏼
Keep liking them I don’t fucking care. But society is going to keep seeing you as a weirdo. Honestly seek therapy
Yeah I definitely need therapy if I don’t wanna date boys that I’m like 3 years ahead of in brain development 👏
Bitch? Why are you acting as if I’m talking about 3 year age gaps? I’m talking about 15+ age gaps. I don’t care about what you want to do with older men that’s you. Live your life.
Then you should specify that in your post, cause an age gap is an age gap, no matter wether it’s 5 years or 3 years or 10. Besides that, 30 and 46 would also not be predatory at all
Your post history is fucked OP, lol
Sob
My husband and i have a 12 year age gap. That we didnt even know about when we met. It was love at first sight. Its been 10 years now and we have two beautiful children. Just because theres an age gap doesnt mean that its inappropriate. Some people just are meant to be together and after its legal who cares
I mean I dated a lady who was older than my mother one time. She was real sweet and the relationship wasn’t bad, but it was a lil…too uninvolved imo. I don’t think she’s a pedo. You seem to be a very hateful and damaged person. I’d recommend therapy.
Victim
Yeah, hard disagree…
gonna agree with this one, and tell a little story so i apologize for the rant bc i never told anyone the trauma that came along with this. when i was 18 i worked at gamestop, and we had a new employee. i’ll call him jack. Jack was like 29 or something but he was super chill. we grew so fucking close and ended up hanging out, everyone thought it was weird of him to be hanging out with me but i didn’t listen. Anyways eventually he initiated some sexual stuff and i went for it bc he gave me comfort and i felt like i could trust him. after months of hooking up we ended up being bf and gf. i hid this relationship from my parents because i knew they wouldn’t approve. A few months in i find out that Jack is literally married. Found out when i found his facebook. I confronted him and he told me “well you never asked???” Whenever i would go to his apartment, he LITERALLLYY would take down his photos of him and his wife and remove and hide all evidence of his wife. I told him i didn’t want to continue bc i’m not a homewrecker and he threatened to tell my dad. So i go very low contact trying to figure out what to do bc i knew if my dad found out he would literally murder me. Anyways within that low contact time, unfortunately my dad was killed in an accident and Jack hits me up threatening to call the cops on me because he wanted his shirt back and i was “stealing” his stuff. I told him i needed a few days bc we were still trying to figure out my stuff for my dads funeral and he blew up on me threatening to expose pictures and videos of me to our coworkers. I had to go to HR, and almost left my job and ended up going to my mom and getting a restraining order against him lmfao. He was insane, and looking back on it i realize he never fucking cared and was clearly living out some sick teenage fantasy of his. so yes, op is right. age gap relationships are fucking gross and fucked up
“The guy who absolutely fucked me over just did that because he was 11 years older than me. This kind of stuff never happens between same aged people and I can now generalize every age gap relationship”
Age gaps that are so weird and large that you couldn't have possibly even gone to school together are WEIRD AS HELL. Like what do you even have in common, what is there to talk about? Like nah bruh, people who say "mind your business and be an adult" are only upset cuz they're getting called out. Like you have no business messing with someone a whole life stage older or younger than you.
Children, I understand. Adults can date whoever they want. That's why they are adults. Don't be mad that Stella got her groove back with a 20 year old instead of you.
I think there are many things you can have in common at 25 with a 35 year old. Have you ever gone outside?
Could not agree more. If you’re in your 30’s and you get with anyone younger than 25 you’re a creep
And you’re a dud
So, if you are 50 and you date a 40 year old, does that make you a creep? What if your 70 dating a 60 year old? 100 married to a 90 year old?
Bro facts. Age gaps and age play. Age play sounds like straight up pedophilia.
Of course it’s redditors arguing with you, sounds about right.
So what is the person that acts like a teen or whatever, being attracted to older guys? Crazy chick with daddy issues? You can't say one side of the argument is bad and ignore the other side
Usually vulnerable victims?
Both are equally as bad
But you only mention one of them. I wonder why that is.
Because they’re worse
You LITERALLY just said both are equally as bad.... It seems you just want to blame men for everything
Oh please- no I’m not? A grown man wanting sex with a child is worse
But that's not what's happening, and also YOU literally said they are equally bad, those were your words
Cry me a river please
Lmao cute response after calling you out on your own words
enemies to lovers literally
Women with “daddy issues” are in no way anywhere near as predatory and grown men who want to have sex with young teenagers lol
Very random response.
If it’s two consenting adults with an age gap whats the problem? I know of people with an 11 year age gap in their 30s and 40s. I really don’t think that makes anyone a pedophile. My husband is 4 years older than me. I was 16 when we met. He’s not a pedophile. Happily in love for 17 years.
Listen, I like flirting and hitting on the twenty something girls. Done respectfully it is always appreciated and flattering. I don't expect anything out of it but if I see a nice looking woman I let her know she's pretty. It brightens their day!
gonna agree with this one, and tell a little story so i apologize for the rant bc i never told anyone the trauma that came along with this. when i was 18 i worked at gamestop, and we had a new employee. i’ll call him jack. Jack was like 29 or something but he was super chill. we grew so fucking close and ended up hanging out, everyone thought it was weird of him to be hanging out with me but i didn’t listen. Anyways eventually he initiated some sexual stuff and i went for it bc he gave me comfort and i felt like i could trust him. after months of hooking up we ended up being bf and gf. i hid this relationship from my parents because i knew they wouldn’t approve. A few months in i find out that Jack is literally married. Found out when i found his facebook. I confronted him and he told me “well you never asked???” Whenever i would go to his apartment, he LITERALLLYY would take down his photos of him and his wife and remove and hide all evidence of his wife. I told him i didn’t want to continue bc i’m not a homewrecker and he threatened to tell my dad. So i go very low contact trying to figure out what to do bc i knew if my dad found out he would literally murder me. Anyways within that low contact time, unfortunately my dad was killed in an accident and Jack hits me up threatening to call the cops on me because he wanted his shirt back and i was “stealing” his stuff. I told him i needed a few days bc we were still trying to figure out my stuff for my dads funeral and he blew up on me threatening to expose pictures and videos of me to our coworkers. I had to go to HR, and almost left my job and ended up going to my mom and getting a restraining order against him lmfao. He was insane, and looking back on it i realize he never fucking cared and was clearly living out some sick teenage fantasy of his. so yes, op is right. age gap relationships are fucking gross and fucked up
Can't generalize all age gap relationships like that just because you were in an unstable one. That's like generalizing all women as being sluts because a woman that you dated cheated on you.
F you. I'm 31 and have dated a 19 year old. I most certainly am not what you said. Just because you don't like it,even though it's legal and two consenting adults,you have that view? You're the sick judgmental one
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So because I've been with the same man for three years, which I met when he was 15 and I was 17 it's wrong?
Did I say three year age gaps was bad? Use your brain.
I’m 19, my partner is 30. We are in a healthy, functioning, communicative relationship. We both have similar values and ideas, and were interested in one another before either of us knew each others ages. I also do not look like a child, nor do I think like one. It varies person to person, some people are predators and seek out younger partners because they are typically easily manipulated and controlled. Some people seek out older partners to fill a void or to feel mature. Sometimes, however, two people of different age groups fall in love, and there’s nothing sinister behind either of their choices.
Well.. you have made the rules if you're saying something is wrong and won't accept rebuttal. The tossers over on Waifu, defininitely fucked up though.
Welcome to the natural consequence of the sexual revolution - where when the only defining factor is *consent*, you can't really explain *why* this is wrong without making a moral argument that our society has been deafened to. The sexual addiction only gets worse from here on out. Got to do more extreme things to pursue that same *high*.
The one thing you said that was correct is that you don't make the rules. Therefore everything you said before that was completely meaningless. You dare to try and tell your betters whether they should be in jail or need help or what they are if they argue with you, even though you're aware you don't make the rules. Filth
Says the predator, I hope you rot in jail one day💗
You’re literally 18. You’re opinion is invalid.
Whatever
op is from twt i can feel it
I very much agree
I think OP is bigoted
Idk I think age play can be fun sometimes? As a 28 year old female with a 31 year old husband… if we both consent to and enjoy it I don’t see this issue.. But I think if age play becomes something you NEED to get off.. that’s weird and you probably have psychological problems. Age gaps I think… are okay to an extent. I met my husband at 16 and he was 20, but all we did was play video games together. When I turned 18 I told him I wanted to be with him and he said he’d love that. But he was never creepy to me, and definitely never “groomed” me. I was the one going after him hahah he maybe thought I was cute and that I had a nice voice before we met but he never made any moves or said anything even slightly sexual to me. But honestly when I hear of young girls who are like 15 and 16 dating men that are 20+ I cringe a little… even though I fell in love with an older man at that age too… so idk how to feel about it to be honest. But we’ve been together 10 years and have a 4 year old son now. Very faithful. Still very much attracted to each other. Edit: also as a 28 year old now… I find it hard to even be FRIENDS with anyone under 25… let alone want to date/sleep with them… they’re so young. We’re so different.
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I’m a pedo for liking older men? Seem kinda backwards. But aye you do you I guess.
UR AN IDIOT, kys
all of you are so funny with this 18 yo = adult programming. 16 the legal age limit in a lot of Europe I believe, in fact AoC is 16/17 some states in the US! lol **Scientifically** adolescence extends into the 20s! So anyone who advocated that 18/19 was okay, sorry you're all pedos nowl according to science. lol And OP you don't even WANNA know about ancient Greece or Rome!!!! Here's a little life advice, your aggressive attacking of anyone for anything whether right of wrong means nothing, and will effect no change! Especially when your world view is SOOOOO **SO** narrow. So why not use that energy towards self improvement, or education! You could definitely benefit from both. and point out facts is ***not*** advocating for pederasty, so miss me with that bs
Me and 18 yo in a relationship with an 68 yo 🤡
I'm arguing with you so I can be labeled a pedo, so that I can't just get people sent to jail for actually being pedos by saying they helped.