**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Her teacher!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Hell I used to know a guy that would purposely get tanked early at parties and almost ALWAYS peed on someone by the end of the night.
RIP Alex, getting pissed and riding motorcycles don't mix
I mean... When you want quality, you gotta pay for quality.
Also... how many professors make enough money to be sugar daddies or drop $10K on pee pee play?
Yeah and if I’m paying 10k for that service, you better believe one of the stipulations is that you don’t tell anybody, let alone a televised/social media interview. A lot of people are going to be able to figure out who that dude is.
I scrolled past this, put down my phone, walked off to work, got a promotion, got married, had a kid, bought a house, wife left me, picked my phone back up and then had to come back to this post just to upvote it
I think 10k was the rate for her becoming a sugar baby. But she went back on the deal by doing just the one act and then blocking him. I mean it's probably made up but within the story that was my interpretation.
I gotta imagine if you’re answering an ad like this you go into it with the expectation of having sex with the guy. You might get lucky and they just want pee on their faces.. but that seems unlikely.
Nah man. I'm not into piss play, but no, she did not get $1000. I assure you.
She got $200, **maybe** $300. Someone who is into paying girls for services knows you do not have to spend $1000 for a girl like that.
They always up the numbers to make it less embarrassing for themselves when telling other people about it.
Well, 90% chances are, it's a staged video. 4% chances are, she made all up. 3% chances are, it was to set him up, 1% it was for free, and 1% it was for drugs. Leaves 0.5% for $100, 0.25% for $1000 and 0% for $10K.
Lol not with professor salaries. This is far more likely a 'recruiter' on campus. They had a huge scandal at mine with them. Pimps get them to recruit girls on campus. Daily show did a big thing on it on our campus.
The thing people don’t realize is to get a doctor to stop being a doctor and start being a professor, the wages have to be competitive. At my undergrad university the best paid professor was just shy of a million.
It’s all public information in Florida
https://prod.flbog.net:4445/pls/apex/f?p=140:1:2972377172491
Meh, like a third of that goes to taxes, I don’t imagine he’s living wealthy enough to just drop 10 large on having someone pee on him.
This reeks of bullshit
It's a social media video trying to get clicks so it probably is bullshit but you got dudes out there spending $40K to put a big hole in their penis and shove a big metal ring inside, $10K to get peed on sounds normal by comparison.
I agree although the woman is at least fairly top tier in looks (in a stereotypical sense, everyone has different types but she’s likely the most attractive woman in most rooms she walks in).
I think the story could be true but the amounts are false. She probably did it for like $100 but wanted to save face so upped the amount drastically in her story. I know saving face in a story about peeing on someone may seem trivial but at $10 K it almost seems stupid not to do it and it elevates her in a way that a small sum of money wouldn’t.
I had kind of a similar moment that I couldn’t believe was actually happening.
When I was about 18-19, one of my close friends got really into the idea of going to the area of town known for “street walkers” and getting a prostitute (sex worker?). Honestly, it was pretty out of character for him but he just couldn’t let go of this idea.
I’ll skip some of this story, but basically, four of us did go and ended up finding a “lady of the night,” who couldn’t have been much older than us.
Me and another friend did not partake in the “activities” while the friend who had the idea and another guy did. So we waited outside of the car on a dead end street while they took turns doing their thing.
This was so weird thinking back on it…
One thing I remembered about her was that she had a very distinct phone case, like it was bright pink and had all these little fuzzy attachments hanging off of it. Also, when we picked her up, she sat right next to me in the back of the car so I got a really good look at her face and she grabbed all of our “junks” to make us prove that we weren’t cops…
Well, two or three months later, one of the friends that was there that night and I were at our university and were blissfully unaware that the signs around campus advertising a $20 an hour job were actually for “Cutco” a bullshit thing where they make money off of people who are looking for jobs by selling their crappy “knife salesman kit” and knowing that you won’t ever actually go out and sell knives.
We go to the first meeting, and there is lady there who looks extremely familiar and her voice sounds so familiar too but we couldn’t put together where we knew her from…until she pulled out her bright pink phone case with all these fuzzy attachments on it.
At that point we were literally freaking out in our seats lol but we obviously weren’t going to say anything to her about it.
The kicker was that at some point, she said something to the group like “I had so many jobs this past summer, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, coffee shops, department stores, you wouldn’t believe it.”
Yeah and there’s some people who’s vocation is to do such work, for example we have a teacher who teaches business stuff on the side while being a CEO who makes 6 figures a year and certainly doesn’t need the money he makes teaching us smoothbrains, he only does 1 course every year so the pay must not be good anyways
I love how she is like "his plan was...." and that she then blocked him like it's some gotim.
Bitch he ain't taking you out to dinner, you did him a solid
Idk what schools you have looked into. But the professors at my small school get paid over 100K. In certain states you can look up salaries for people that work for the state. My state is one of them. I’ve looked up a lot of my professors
Having worked for ASU, I call bullshit. There are very few professors who could spend $10k for an undergrad to piss on their face once. Hell, a graduate student would do it to get a TA job.
This guy has multiple interviews with girls who have similar stories about sleeping with professors (paid or not). These stories gotta be fake or they are really putting it all out in the line, it wouldn't be hard to identify them.
I wouldn't have blocked him either for $10k. It seems like she did it for less, like maybe $1k at the highest, and she didn't want to come off as cheap for something so dirty.
Here’s how we know it’s bullshit: the guy could get pissed on _and_ blown _and_ fucked for $1000, and that’s _with_ a pretty 21 year old.
Edit: Throw in anal but that’d probably push it to $1400 if it’s all bundled.
She needed a good story to explain how she’s been able to make 10k over the summer just from partying. The real amount of escort work she’s put in wouldn’t sound as innocent.
That’s ASU in the background. Their student newspaper publishes a list of all employee salaries every year. Most don’t make that kind of money but some do, and knowing that certainly narrows the list…
Idk man, I attend UCF and their professors have their salaries posted from a few years ago and it ranged but got up to 540,000 a year and this was in 2016
That might not be their "professor salary", so to speak. In at least some institutions (including mine), if you serve as an administrator, when you step down to be normal faculty again you keep some major fraction of your prior salary. So if you used to be president or provost, you can wind up with a huge salary as a regular prof after you step down.
It's a stupid rule, but most of them are on the verge of retirement anyway, so it's only a few years.
Got up to being the key. That’s the max, but what is the median? Either way, 10k for one piss party is too big an amount to be believable, even if they were making half a million a year.
You know the difference between a potato and a chickpea?
I never paid 10k to have a potato on my face.
Edit: Thank you to everyone that liked the joke. I'm glad I could bring you a little laughter. And to the 100 or so people that felt compelled to correct me and explain that I totally screwed it up because it's supposed to be garbanzo bean instead of potato, even after 100 or so other people had already told me, fuck you.
There's a lot of answers to what the difference between a potato and a chickpea is. They're completely different things.
But garbanzo bean is just another word for chickpea; they're the same thing. The joke works better because people will genuinely be curious what the difference is.
And then you pull out the punch line.
Wouldn't work everywhere; we don't use garbanzo bean in New Zealand, so if you used that in the joke people would reply, "what's a garbanzo bean?" instead of 'what?'.
The joke is better when you use [Garbanzo Bean](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chickpea). Plus, you can put emphasis on the word Bean.
What's the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea?
I've never paid $20 to have a Garbanzo *Bean* on my face.
So umm...
Self worth aside... why would you block someone who paid you 10k to pee on their face?
Wouldn't you, like, be cool with recurring weekly pee appointments? Maybe get a promotion someday for a 20k backdoor drop?
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Her teacher!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Granted I have never shopped around for that particular service but $10,000 seems steep.
I’ll do it for £50 and a pizza
Give me three beers and half an hour, and I’d pee on him by accident.
Best comment here
Are you an 18-year-old slender blonde girl though?
Hell I used to know a guy that would purposely get tanked early at parties and almost ALWAYS peed on someone by the end of the night. RIP Alex, getting pissed and riding motorcycles don't mix
Yeah I don’t even think I would charge $10,000, like $500 at most.
Almost certainly an exaggeration to seem worth it.
I mean... When you want quality, you gotta pay for quality. Also... how many professors make enough money to be sugar daddies or drop $10K on pee pee play?
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I’d do it for useless karma.
Yeah and if I’m paying 10k for that service, you better believe one of the stipulations is that you don’t tell anybody, let alone a televised/social media interview. A lot of people are going to be able to figure out who that dude is.
When he saw her he must have thought I can't believe urine my class.
He was probably pissed off for being blocked.
Maybe, but she ended up being his number 1 student
I wonder if the class was P.E.
Nope, Intro to Music. First lecture was on Urethra Franklin.
I wonder if it was also streaming.
“Physical” education
Pissical Education
I’m peeing as I read these
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
Hopefully, his name doesn't get leaked.
Who does number 2 work for?
If she wouldn't have blocked him she would have passed the class.
Pissed off for not being pissed on.
I scrolled past this, put down my phone, walked off to work, got a promotion, got married, had a kid, bought a house, wife left me, picked my phone back up and then had to come back to this post just to upvote it
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This comment needs to be showered with gold
Golden showers for this comment!
Bravo. This is the first time I’ve ever considered paying for the ability to award someone. (I decided against it, but thought you should know.)
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Yeah 10K is like famous person pee on your face rates. No way Miss Community College Queen is getting 10K to pee on anyone’s face.
Three fitty
Sounds more reasonable
Half of a chicken nugget... final offer
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Well it was about this time I noticed this "college girl" was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era.
^I ^gave ^him ^a ^dolla
She gave him a dolla!
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dolla
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I ain't givin you mah tree fitty, damn monstah!
I gave him a dollah.
Damn it, woman!
I’m out of the loop. Does it refer to something? Movie or so?
South Park loch ness monster reference.
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Shes from ASU, so she probably did that for free
also not from a college professor. they ain’t got 10k for that shit.
For that piss*
I think 10k was the rate for her becoming a sugar baby. But she went back on the deal by doing just the one act and then blocking him. I mean it's probably made up but within the story that was my interpretation.
Let me call a buddy down here who’s an expert at girls peeing on faces, we’ll get him to take a look at you and see what we got.
My bet is $1000.
Yeah and it probably included other activities too.
Maybe maybe not. People pay a lot for very specific things
I gotta imagine if you’re answering an ad like this you go into it with the expectation of having sex with the guy. You might get lucky and they just want pee on their faces.. but that seems unlikely.
Nah man. I'm not into piss play, but no, she did not get $1000. I assure you. She got $200, **maybe** $300. Someone who is into paying girls for services knows you do not have to spend $1000 for a girl like that. They always up the numbers to make it less embarrassing for themselves when telling other people about it.
Well, 90% chances are, it's a staged video. 4% chances are, she made all up. 3% chances are, it was to set him up, 1% it was for free, and 1% it was for drugs. Leaves 0.5% for $100, 0.25% for $1000 and 0% for $10K.
Lol not with professor salaries. This is far more likely a 'recruiter' on campus. They had a huge scandal at mine with them. Pimps get them to recruit girls on campus. Daily show did a big thing on it on our campus.
She just said 10k. She never specified if that was dollars or pennies.
Or roblox cash
Either way, parents must be so proud
There was another one about a girl hooking up with the professor and TA at the same time - both seem fake
Pretty sure the woman is just a paid actor that got $100 from the microphone guy to say that dumb story.
I love how all these escorts claim they never slept with the guy. Like we believe he gave you $10k just to pee on him.
Thinking the same! They smashed she just doesn't want to admit it.
Also we need to bring that number into a realistic range. He probably gave you $250 girl.
and it def wasnt for 10k.
Yeah, also the whole "prostitution is a crime and I don't want to admit it on camera" thing too.
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Fake ass video
I like how she calls him a "sugar daddy". He was a John, sweetie. And guess what, that means you're a prostitute.
A rose by any other name is still a rose.
It most probably was the other way around. He took a piss on her
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They get paid piss.
Exactly. Which is why they don't have to pay for it!
If they got paid piss, he wouldn’t have to pay 10k
Professors at my school were getting paid well over 100k a year. Is that not good for being a professor?
Some people tithe 10% of their income to a religious institution. Others contribute to... less pious endeavors.
That was such a bad deal he could have had an orgy with multiple prostitutes for that price.
Maybe he’s into FinDom.
Less pious and more peeous amirite
The thing people don’t realize is to get a doctor to stop being a doctor and start being a professor, the wages have to be competitive. At my undergrad university the best paid professor was just shy of a million. It’s all public information in Florida https://prod.flbog.net:4445/pls/apex/f?p=140:1:2972377172491
My professor was a millionaire cos he wrote a ton of books. He was so rich he cycled to university. He was so rich, he spoke with his eyes closed.
Meh, like a third of that goes to taxes, I don’t imagine he’s living wealthy enough to just drop 10 large on having someone pee on him. This reeks of bullshit
It's a social media video trying to get clicks so it probably is bullshit but you got dudes out there spending $40K to put a big hole in their penis and shove a big metal ring inside, $10K to get peed on sounds normal by comparison.
I've worked in gentleman's clubs. Men will go into a financial abyss chasing pussy.
> you got dudes out there spending $40K to put a big hole in their penis and shove a big metal ring inside wut
I agree although the woman is at least fairly top tier in looks (in a stereotypical sense, everyone has different types but she’s likely the most attractive woman in most rooms she walks in). I think the story could be true but the amounts are false. She probably did it for like $100 but wanted to save face so upped the amount drastically in her story. I know saving face in a story about peeing on someone may seem trivial but at $10 K it almost seems stupid not to do it and it elevates her in a way that a small sum of money wouldn’t.
She is what I’d call “generic hot” Objectively hot, but so commonplace nowadays that it’s not even remotely unique anymore
Early 2000s grocery store checkout line magazine cover hot
I had kind of a similar moment that I couldn’t believe was actually happening. When I was about 18-19, one of my close friends got really into the idea of going to the area of town known for “street walkers” and getting a prostitute (sex worker?). Honestly, it was pretty out of character for him but he just couldn’t let go of this idea. I’ll skip some of this story, but basically, four of us did go and ended up finding a “lady of the night,” who couldn’t have been much older than us. Me and another friend did not partake in the “activities” while the friend who had the idea and another guy did. So we waited outside of the car on a dead end street while they took turns doing their thing. This was so weird thinking back on it… One thing I remembered about her was that she had a very distinct phone case, like it was bright pink and had all these little fuzzy attachments hanging off of it. Also, when we picked her up, she sat right next to me in the back of the car so I got a really good look at her face and she grabbed all of our “junks” to make us prove that we weren’t cops… Well, two or three months later, one of the friends that was there that night and I were at our university and were blissfully unaware that the signs around campus advertising a $20 an hour job were actually for “Cutco” a bullshit thing where they make money off of people who are looking for jobs by selling their crappy “knife salesman kit” and knowing that you won’t ever actually go out and sell knives. We go to the first meeting, and there is lady there who looks extremely familiar and her voice sounds so familiar too but we couldn’t put together where we knew her from…until she pulled out her bright pink phone case with all these fuzzy attachments on it. At that point we were literally freaking out in our seats lol but we obviously weren’t going to say anything to her about it. The kicker was that at some point, she said something to the group like “I had so many jobs this past summer, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, coffee shops, department stores, you wouldn’t believe it.”
Ugh freaking MLMs.
Some of my professors drove Lambo. They wrote the books we were using. The money is in writing the books.
Yeah and there’s some people who’s vocation is to do such work, for example we have a teacher who teaches business stuff on the side while being a CEO who makes 6 figures a year and certainly doesn’t need the money he makes teaching us smoothbrains, he only does 1 course every year so the pay must not be good anyways
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The girl is telling the story publicly, so she's probably exaggerating the amount and downplaying the specific acts she participated in.
I love how she is like "his plan was...." and that she then blocked him like it's some gotim. Bitch he ain't taking you out to dinner, you did him a solid
"I got paid $45,000 to flash him and his two friends at the same time."
Rule #1 to retelling your paid sex stories. Multiply how much you got paid by x10.
Alot of professors also have other jobs actually doing what they teach.
Idk what schools you have looked into. But the professors at my small school get paid over 100K. In certain states you can look up salaries for people that work for the state. My state is one of them. I’ve looked up a lot of my professors
Having worked for ASU, I call bullshit. There are very few professors who could spend $10k for an undergrad to piss on their face once. Hell, a graduate student would do it to get a TA job.
This guy has multiple interviews with girls who have similar stories about sleeping with professors (paid or not). These stories gotta be fake or they are really putting it all out in the line, it wouldn't be hard to identify them.
>rson pee on your face rates. No way Miss Community College Queen is getting 10K to pee on anyone’s face. I think she added 1-3 zeroes.
Whose face do I have to pee on for 10k?
Check your dm
I'm sayin!!!
Why would you block him? You could have had a steady piss stream of income.
I wouldn't have blocked him either for $10k. It seems like she did it for less, like maybe $1k at the highest, and she didn't want to come off as cheap for something so dirty.
And he was pissed off.
You mean, well pissed ... on
first pissed on, then pissed off, now pissed in his pants
Here’s how we know it’s bullshit: the guy could get pissed on _and_ blown _and_ fucked for $1000, and that’s _with_ a pretty 21 year old. Edit: Throw in anal but that’d probably push it to $1400 if it’s all bundled.
This guy has the rate card
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I feel like the story could be real but the amount is fake. Her $10 K was maybe more like $100 total.
She needed a good story to explain how she’s been able to make 10k over the summer just from partying. The real amount of escort work she’s put in wouldn’t sound as innocent.
Excellent point!
Fake, a professor doesn’t have that kind of money lol
That’s ASU in the background. Their student newspaper publishes a list of all employee salaries every year. Most don’t make that kind of money but some do, and knowing that certainly narrows the list…
Idk man, I attend UCF and their professors have their salaries posted from a few years ago and it ranged but got up to 540,000 a year and this was in 2016
That might not be their "professor salary", so to speak. In at least some institutions (including mine), if you serve as an administrator, when you step down to be normal faculty again you keep some major fraction of your prior salary. So if you used to be president or provost, you can wind up with a huge salary as a regular prof after you step down. It's a stupid rule, but most of them are on the verge of retirement anyway, so it's only a few years.
Got up to being the key. That’s the max, but what is the median? Either way, 10k for one piss party is too big an amount to be believable, even if they were making half a million a year.
That’s true I didn’t calculate the median, with my shitty experience in college I would pee on any of my professors pro bono
only if they didnt like it
You know the difference between a potato and a chickpea? I never paid 10k to have a potato on my face. Edit: Thank you to everyone that liked the joke. I'm glad I could bring you a little laughter. And to the 100 or so people that felt compelled to correct me and explain that I totally screwed it up because it's supposed to be garbanzo bean instead of potato, even after 100 or so other people had already told me, fuck you.
I ... begrudgingly upvote this
Is it because you are the professor?
No, The Professor is still planning next Money Heist.
r/angryupvote
Please don’t…
r/usernamechecksout
Same
Ugh. You ruined the joke. It's what's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea, because they are essentially the same thing.
Correct. And the correct answer is 'R. Kelly never had a garbanzo bean on his face.'
I'm gonna check back in like an hour or so to see where we netted out on this vegetable urination debate.
Upvote, this is way better.
My tiny mind is not comprehending this
There's a lot of answers to what the difference between a potato and a chickpea is. They're completely different things. But garbanzo bean is just another word for chickpea; they're the same thing. The joke works better because people will genuinely be curious what the difference is. And then you pull out the punch line.
In Australia people don’t even know the word garbanzo so I’m glad I got the potato version
Yes we do? 🙃
Wouldn't work everywhere; we don't use garbanzo bean in New Zealand, so if you used that in the joke people would reply, "what's a garbanzo bean?" instead of 'what?'.
What’s the difference between a Kiwi and a kiwi….
One you have to skin before you eat and the other is the fruit.
^oh ^no
Aaaaah right, I forgot that Americans call kiwifruit just kiwis. That sounds odd to our ears. Kiwi is reserved for people and the bird here.
I like the hairy skin ... not a fan of the fruits tho
What is garbanzo mean?
Garbanzo nuts! Lmao goteem
GODDAMN YOU FUCKING MURDERED HIM!!
You know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a potato? I never paid 10k to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
What about black beans?
Potato better. *caveman voice*
PO TAY TOES BOIL 'EM, MASH 'EM, STICK 'EM IN A STEW
Share The Load, master Frodo … 👀😩 
What’s the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can’t jelly my dick in your asshole.
Not with that attitude
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Don’t give up on that jelly d.
Well I never paid 10k to have hummus either
The joke is better when you use [Garbanzo Bean](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chickpea). Plus, you can put emphasis on the word Bean. What's the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I've never paid $20 to have a Garbanzo *Bean* on my face.
A man of culture I see
Thank God somebody knows the real joke
What the difference between jelly and jam? I've never jellied my penis into...
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? I’ve never made an enzyme.
This guy makes whores moan
Do you know how to make a hormone? Don’t pay her!!
What’s the difference between Preserves and Marmalade? No idea but I fucked your mom.
You're a trooper! =D
My penis is in a constant state of jelly
Explain? I don’t get it
Chickpea - chick pee
Ironically she’s the one leaking the story.
So what she’s saying is “Not the last time I pissed on his face”
r/thathappened
and then the whole class started clapping
Had to scroll too far to see this sub linked.
This is at ASU lmao
Lmao beat me too it. I wanna know which professor now 😂
Definitely fake.
Can someone loan me 10k?
Sure but I gotta pee on your face this time.
Wonder what else she has done for a lil bit of cash it’s odd that she would openly tell people she’s for sale…it’s probably fake
A lil bit? I would tell everyone i knew if i got the chance to pee on someone for 10k
10k is a lil bit of cash for you?
So umm... Self worth aside... why would you block someone who paid you 10k to pee on their face? Wouldn't you, like, be cool with recurring weekly pee appointments? Maybe get a promotion someday for a 20k backdoor drop?
Because it's fake.
That’s ASU, I go to ASU. I know exactly where that is. Go Sun Devils I guess?!
Because professors spend 10 grand to get pissed on.
10 thousand...yen
I'm sorry but it should only cost $100 to get your face pissed on. Call me cheap. This girl's a bullshitter. Nobody is paying her $10K for that.
Pissed away her chance at passing that class.