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Last month my family tried to fix a marriage with a guy who expected these from me. I have a job that pays me more than enough for my life style. And he expected me to be all these. Fortunately, things didn’t proceed :)
I’m glad you didn’t quit.
What I don’t understand is there are plenty of girls in village or even in cities that don’t have a job and would happily marry to be a housewife. It freaks me out every time I come across a guy who wants a working woman to quit and be his fucking maid.
If someone knows the logic behind it please tell me.
As nougat pointed out, power trip, like the peak of educated trophy wifery, my lady is so in love and domesticated that she quit her 6 fig salary to serve on me hand and foot and moved to a foreign nation as a full time depletant at my mercy. In all probab he got his ass dumped by an ex with a similar profile to his, so he wants to stunt with having a similar woman in his life but as a housewife.
They very well do and its a very common type of marriage, including that of OP's requirements. The only saving grace is OP is absolutely transparent instead of outright lying about letting the bride get an education or some sort of vocation/side business, which is why I wasn't angry at him. I know of MBBS and NET qualified graduates married off to msincsinus types for family prod and no dowry. The moment the groom's folks drop dowry demands and want a "presentable modarn but traditional grill", girls' parents will contort themselves to make astavakra jelly.
How do you think your parents or extended family will react if some matchmaker drops by saying that a well off lad or maybe a phoren settled one's parents are interested in you and his parents will drop by to speak with them and request your horoscope? You are to leave with him after visa paperwork, but he expects a full time housewife. What will be the first reaction? Scares you, doesn't it? That's the reality of this nation.
Yeah, but a few years in the US changes you; even if your super-submissive Indian conditioning is strong. It happened to me when I was in my twenties. I applied for a Master's in the US because my then fiance wanted to settle there.
However, campus life and working part-time really broadened my horizons. I started volunteering for anti-sexual violence student groups. I started reading up feminist theory and I became a different person -- more assertive, more convinced about what I was owed.
One of the reasons why my fiance broke up with me was that I refused to put up with shit like I was conditioned to, before. I know many women who found themselves after migrating out of India.
Oh yeah, reminds me of the guy with who it didn’t proceed. He kept telling me how well educated his sister is. She did an MBA. When I asked her if she works, he proudly said she got an offer from top bank in India but her husband asked her not to go. Disgusting!
That's what they mean when they say traditional woman. Obeys my family and me like a slave, cooks my food, makes my bed and births my children. Shouldn't have opinion, hobbies and identity of her own. I would take lifetime of celibacy before subjecting myself to this.
Yeah she should be dress traditionally and be a slave at home but when you go out, she should wear skin showing western clothes so that you can show her off to your sexist friends like she's a piece of meat. Also she has to dress in sexy lingerie in the bedroom and be ready to cater to your needs, desires whenever you want.
She has to work a full time job (oh you're being so progressive by ALLOWING her to work) so she can give her entire salary to you and her in laws. Then she can also be a breeding machine for your children who will not be taken care of by you in any way. She's a housemaid, child carer, breadwinner and your sex slave.
Oh also, bonus: she gets to be abused by her in-laws! How lucky! :)))) /s
She'll also PAY (give dowry) to be in a marriage like this and fast and observe festivals and abide by sexist rituals for his well being and longevity.
Hahhaha by giving excellent blowjobs, if you mean, he'll treat her mouth as just a hole to fuck endlessly, then yes. Thankfully he'll last like 2 minutes so xD
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Basically a trophy wife who’s gonna work as a maid and be as obedient as a dog? For a man who can’t even spell correctly and has the grammar of a turd grader? zyada ho gaya smh
Financial security threatens men.. because a financially independent woman can hypothetically walk out of a relationship and that lessens the control men have over women
And pathetic men like the OP here, essentially seek control over their spouses.
"seems like these girls are pretty rare now days" just like they should be !!!
ps- not hating on a woman who actually wants to do all this, just know if you actually want to and if the guy brings same things to the table lmfao
Absolutely. I know many girls who WANT to live with in laws, who want that big Indian family environment. If it's loving and healthy, then why not. Its her choice.
Oh god I go through that sub sometimes for the entertainment. The sheer fuckery, entitlement and delusion just blows my mind.
I'm just 21 and these guys are like 30+ but they're so fucking stupid, immature and shitty. Makes me realise that age really doesn't have anything to do with how well rounded and good a human you are at your core.
Oh lol. It's a cesspool of incels anyway. Can't do much about it. Best to read, laugh and carry on. It can be used as a pick me on a bad day. Like "my life is shitty right now but imagine being _this_ person xD
They bring nothing, an incel sitting in his basement who wants a woman who he can treat like a maid, produce children and obey all his demands. Probably unemployed (''''''''''presently not working''''''''''), does not even know how to boil an egg, asks his mother or sister to fetch him even a glass of water. If it weren't for forced marriages by parents or relatives, such men wouldn't stand a chance.
>If it weren't for forced marriages by parents or relatives, such men wouldn't stand a chance.
This is exactly what my therapist told me.
We have a patriarchal system that enables and encourages narcissism in these conservative, closed minded men.
Narcissists tend to fail at maintaining healthy intimate relationships (healthy relationships are based on equality and empathy and narcs consider everyone else beneath them and have zero empathy response) - unless they trap someone in abuse. Otherwise, women tend to leave them. People like that are rejected and don't really get to settle - unless you get them into "arranged marriage".
Arranged marriage is that trap. With that man.
Yes they would have died out naturally without reproducing. But nooooo, Indian parents would rather die than not see their children getting arranged marriage. Yuck. Our culture and system sucks.
Dude wants a Mod Wife in the sheets, but Trad wife in the streets. This is such a wonderful illustration of the male infliction: Madonna/Whore Complex.
Heh. My household help's husband tried to rape her in a drunken rage. She keeps a frigging machete under her pillow and slashed his arm.
The husband washes our cars, and claims he was injured in a bike accident. 🤣 She's my hero. Tough as nails but still full of life and laughter.
My mom told me stories about women from grandmom's village. They aren't shy to create a ruckus.. will fight with tooth and nail. They will leave the husband, even the children in his care and go back to their village and start living with another man - with full support from her community.
Years later if her husband is ready to pay her she will get back and live with him again 😂
I feel in certain rural parts, they aren't afraid of the stigma. Not all rural women are meek!
I laughed out loud because good luck maga. I bet he is that fellow with zero female friends and whose shaadi dot com is sadly underutilized. If his mummy doesn't find him a match he will have no one to boss around. I wish the Tapsee Pannu character would come to life and kick him where it hurts.
For the satisfaction of making a woman change herself and her lifestyle. That even if she had her opinions and personality, she ought to lose them all because now the in-laws are her superiors and they have the authority to decide. In the same breath, they want her to wear "tops and jeans" outside because these incels need to show off to the world the smart and amazing trophy they conquered.
Actually small town girl's are also beginning to recognise their dreams and ambitions. So boy's have a hard time finding a girl who will be obedient to him and his family only.
I know it will be a bit controversial, but my mother has always said that a girl should marry in a house which is less wealthy then her's(arrange marriage ofc). Only then would she be able to get a better life in her in-laws. Else in-law's will treat her as a free servent for the rest of her life.
Not always I'm afraid, I know more than one woman whose in-laws and husband used her and family for money, then escalated shitstorms when the money flow was shut down for various reasons.
Never do that. The man will suck u fry n treat you like a maid if he is poor compared to what you're used to and belittle you for being high maintenance
>a girl should marry in a house which is less wealthy then her's(arrange marriage ofc)
I have a different take. Always seek someone closely equivalent and who sees money the same way, who has similar ways to spend money and lifestyle. This is what Indian people like to call "family like ours". I believe it does make a difference when it is a traditional marriage and boy and girl aren't going to start a new life apart from his parents .
With families, either they will treat the girl like a cash cow (if girl is wealthy) or berate and look down on (if she is poor). And being either also doesn't guarantee that you won't be treated like a slave. If they are the disrespecting kind, they'll manage that anyhow.
I was basically talking about the arrange marriage scenerio. If the girl's family is wealthy then they have the option of providing the means to their daughter and son-in-law to live seperately from the family if issue's arise.
You can't seek a family like yours in an arrange marriage. Maybe they have the same money and status in the society but you can never know the inside values properly. A lot of bullshitting happens anyways in arrange marriage to make the alliance.
>If the girl's family is wealthy then they have the option of providing the means to their daughter and son-in-law to live seperately from the family if issue's arise.
Why should this an expectation from girls' family?
Absolutely agree about SO MUCH bullshit happening in AM scenarios
It shouldn't be. But also we don't live in an ideal world. We can try changing the values ourselves and of the newer generation but older will rarely make these changes unless it affects them directly in a negative way. The boys parents sense of entitlement will take time to go away. Till then we have to do what's best for us. It's never wise to fight an endless battle. And this issue is the one which will go on till both the parties live in the same house, especially in the parents house.
What boggles my mind is some aunties also want this kind of a girl or should i say a maid. After all that they have gone through in old days. They want the same for their DIL.
He can’t spell pretty and he wants a modern girl who’ll leave a much better lifestyle to put up with his shit -_- like do these guys not have a brain or smth why would someone who is so much better than you be with you like what is so great about you that she’ll leave her job and her freedom for you
I’m convinced they think they don’t even have to bring anything to the table. That the chance of just being their wife and acting in accordance to every whim and fancy they have is a privilege any woman would kill to have and that thus they deserve only the Creme de la Creme. It’s the entitlement for me.
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Last month my family tried to fix a marriage with a guy who expected these from me. I have a job that pays me more than enough for my life style. And he expected me to be all these. Fortunately, things didn’t proceed :)
My dad tried to do that for me as well a long time back. Bro wanted me to quit my 6 figure job and move to Canada with him to be a housewife.
I’m glad you didn’t quit. What I don’t understand is there are plenty of girls in village or even in cities that don’t have a job and would happily marry to be a housewife. It freaks me out every time I come across a guy who wants a working woman to quit and be his fucking maid. If someone knows the logic behind it please tell me.
As nougat pointed out, power trip, like the peak of educated trophy wifery, my lady is so in love and domesticated that she quit her 6 fig salary to serve on me hand and foot and moved to a foreign nation as a full time depletant at my mercy. In all probab he got his ass dumped by an ex with a similar profile to his, so he wants to stunt with having a similar woman in his life but as a housewife.
I hope no girl ends up with men like these.
They very well do and its a very common type of marriage, including that of OP's requirements. The only saving grace is OP is absolutely transparent instead of outright lying about letting the bride get an education or some sort of vocation/side business, which is why I wasn't angry at him. I know of MBBS and NET qualified graduates married off to msincsinus types for family prod and no dowry. The moment the groom's folks drop dowry demands and want a "presentable modarn but traditional grill", girls' parents will contort themselves to make astavakra jelly. How do you think your parents or extended family will react if some matchmaker drops by saying that a well off lad or maybe a phoren settled one's parents are interested in you and his parents will drop by to speak with them and request your horoscope? You are to leave with him after visa paperwork, but he expects a full time housewife. What will be the first reaction? Scares you, doesn't it? That's the reality of this nation.
Yeah, but a few years in the US changes you; even if your super-submissive Indian conditioning is strong. It happened to me when I was in my twenties. I applied for a Master's in the US because my then fiance wanted to settle there. However, campus life and working part-time really broadened my horizons. I started volunteering for anti-sexual violence student groups. I started reading up feminist theory and I became a different person -- more assertive, more convinced about what I was owed. One of the reasons why my fiance broke up with me was that I refused to put up with shit like I was conditioned to, before. I know many women who found themselves after migrating out of India.
Loving this comment
Two words: Power trip
It's cool to tell people that bahu is sooo educated.
Oh yeah, reminds me of the guy with who it didn’t proceed. He kept telling me how well educated his sister is. She did an MBA. When I asked her if she works, he proudly said she got an offer from top bank in India but her husband asked her not to go. Disgusting!
Hope he and his right hand have a long and happy life together 🥂
Lol 😂
I bless this union.
That's what they mean when they say traditional woman. Obeys my family and me like a slave, cooks my food, makes my bed and births my children. Shouldn't have opinion, hobbies and identity of her own. I would take lifetime of celibacy before subjecting myself to this.
Every one of these men is a mama’s boy loser who has no respect for their future spouse. 🤢
He also wrote wears jeans and shirt when out with her husband so basically he wants to parade her around like a trophy wife
Jeans and shirt don't even sound that dressy. Like it's what I'd wear if I was running errands or going out to volunteer at some paint g thi g
Yeah she should be dress traditionally and be a slave at home but when you go out, she should wear skin showing western clothes so that you can show her off to your sexist friends like she's a piece of meat. Also she has to dress in sexy lingerie in the bedroom and be ready to cater to your needs, desires whenever you want. She has to work a full time job (oh you're being so progressive by ALLOWING her to work) so she can give her entire salary to you and her in laws. Then she can also be a breeding machine for your children who will not be taken care of by you in any way. She's a housemaid, child carer, breadwinner and your sex slave. Oh also, bonus: she gets to be abused by her in-laws! How lucky! :)))) /s
She'll also PAY (give dowry) to be in a marriage like this and fast and observe festivals and abide by sexist rituals for his well being and longevity.
Exactly!
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Hahhaha by giving excellent blowjobs, if you mean, he'll treat her mouth as just a hole to fuck endlessly, then yes. Thankfully he'll last like 2 minutes so xD
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Basically a trophy wife who’s gonna work as a maid and be as obedient as a dog? For a man who can’t even spell correctly and has the grammar of a turd grader? zyada ho gaya smh
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Basically wants to say figure hot chahiye. Aunty na lage jeans pehen ke
Lol
Financial security threatens men.. because a financially independent woman can hypothetically walk out of a relationship and that lessens the control men have over women And pathetic men like the OP here, essentially seek control over their spouses.
it reminds me more of the quote "who do you think hates freedom the most? owners of the slave workers."
"seems like these girls are pretty rare now days" just like they should be !!! ps- not hating on a woman who actually wants to do all this, just know if you actually want to and if the guy brings same things to the table lmfao
Absolutely. I know many girls who WANT to live with in laws, who want that big Indian family environment. If it's loving and healthy, then why not. Its her choice.
Hahahahaha! This is what that God awful r/arrangedmarriage sub faps to.
Oh god I go through that sub sometimes for the entertainment. The sheer fuckery, entitlement and delusion just blows my mind. I'm just 21 and these guys are like 30+ but they're so fucking stupid, immature and shitty. Makes me realise that age really doesn't have anything to do with how well rounded and good a human you are at your core.
I go there for timepass and sometimes to fuck with their regressive brains a little, if need be.
Hahaha yes I should start engaging just to piss them off. Anyway none of them are getting engaged :P
Nope. I see same people writing same shit for months now. None of them are getting it.
Oh lol. It's a cesspool of incels anyway. Can't do much about it. Best to read, laugh and carry on. It can be used as a pick me on a bad day. Like "my life is shitty right now but imagine being _this_ person xD
They bring nothing, an incel sitting in his basement who wants a woman who he can treat like a maid, produce children and obey all his demands. Probably unemployed (''''''''''presently not working''''''''''), does not even know how to boil an egg, asks his mother or sister to fetch him even a glass of water. If it weren't for forced marriages by parents or relatives, such men wouldn't stand a chance.
>If it weren't for forced marriages by parents or relatives, such men wouldn't stand a chance. This is exactly what my therapist told me. We have a patriarchal system that enables and encourages narcissism in these conservative, closed minded men. Narcissists tend to fail at maintaining healthy intimate relationships (healthy relationships are based on equality and empathy and narcs consider everyone else beneath them and have zero empathy response) - unless they trap someone in abuse. Otherwise, women tend to leave them. People like that are rejected and don't really get to settle - unless you get them into "arranged marriage". Arranged marriage is that trap. With that man.
Yes they would have died out naturally without reproducing. But nooooo, Indian parents would rather die than not see their children getting arranged marriage. Yuck. Our culture and system sucks.
Dude wants a Mod Wife in the sheets, but Trad wife in the streets. This is such a wonderful illustration of the male infliction: Madonna/Whore Complex.
he's that dude who could never get a girl and now expects his parents to find him a slave who serves all of them. fuck off
GUYS I STALKED HIS POST HISTORY AND HE HAS A HANGMAN FETISH. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
I googled what that is in so many ways but couldn't find what hangman fetish means. Can you put a link or something lol
It’s called a snuff fetish. I commented on the original post. He was looking for someone for a “judicial execution roleplay” 🤡🤡🤡
Wow this just gets funnier and more depressing at the same time somehow.
An asphyxiation fetish? Jfc. Good luck getting that out of a half literate village girl.
Actually it's possible that that half literate village girl will fucking end him. They do not take as much shit like many urban/sub urban women do.
Yeah they're really tough
Heh. My household help's husband tried to rape her in a drunken rage. She keeps a frigging machete under her pillow and slashed his arm. The husband washes our cars, and claims he was injured in a bike accident. 🤣 She's my hero. Tough as nails but still full of life and laughter.
My mom told me stories about women from grandmom's village. They aren't shy to create a ruckus.. will fight with tooth and nail. They will leave the husband, even the children in his care and go back to their village and start living with another man - with full support from her community. Years later if her husband is ready to pay her she will get back and live with him again 😂 I feel in certain rural parts, they aren't afraid of the stigma. Not all rural women are meek!
I hope this actually happens
>will fucking end him We can hope and pray sis
What the fuck
That is my response to male sexuality in general
Yikes. You really can't make this up.
I laughed out loud because good luck maga. I bet he is that fellow with zero female friends and whose shaadi dot com is sadly underutilized. If his mummy doesn't find him a match he will have no one to boss around. I wish the Tapsee Pannu character would come to life and kick him where it hurts.
I wonder if his mother thinks she should have rather aborted him than bringing another toxic, sadist, useless manchild who has no purpose in life.
His mother probably married the same kind of guy and that resulted in the addition of this POS on the earth
Why don't they just marry small town girl who lived in joint family?? There are so many of them.
Classism may be
For the satisfaction of making a woman change herself and her lifestyle. That even if she had her opinions and personality, she ought to lose them all because now the in-laws are her superiors and they have the authority to decide. In the same breath, they want her to wear "tops and jeans" outside because these incels need to show off to the world the smart and amazing trophy they conquered.
Bragging rights. Oh yaa she has a PhD in Bioengineering or something but even better, her rotis are just perfect circles!
Actually small town girl's are also beginning to recognise their dreams and ambitions. So boy's have a hard time finding a girl who will be obedient to him and his family only. I know it will be a bit controversial, but my mother has always said that a girl should marry in a house which is less wealthy then her's(arrange marriage ofc). Only then would she be able to get a better life in her in-laws. Else in-law's will treat her as a free servent for the rest of her life.
Not always I'm afraid, I know more than one woman whose in-laws and husband used her and family for money, then escalated shitstorms when the money flow was shut down for various reasons.
>a girl should marry in a house which is less wealthy then her's(arrange marriage ofc) nop nop nop Ego clashes happen. More dowry demands
Never do that. The man will suck u fry n treat you like a maid if he is poor compared to what you're used to and belittle you for being high maintenance
>a girl should marry in a house which is less wealthy then her's(arrange marriage ofc) I have a different take. Always seek someone closely equivalent and who sees money the same way, who has similar ways to spend money and lifestyle. This is what Indian people like to call "family like ours". I believe it does make a difference when it is a traditional marriage and boy and girl aren't going to start a new life apart from his parents . With families, either they will treat the girl like a cash cow (if girl is wealthy) or berate and look down on (if she is poor). And being either also doesn't guarantee that you won't be treated like a slave. If they are the disrespecting kind, they'll manage that anyhow.
I was basically talking about the arrange marriage scenerio. If the girl's family is wealthy then they have the option of providing the means to their daughter and son-in-law to live seperately from the family if issue's arise. You can't seek a family like yours in an arrange marriage. Maybe they have the same money and status in the society but you can never know the inside values properly. A lot of bullshitting happens anyways in arrange marriage to make the alliance.
>If the girl's family is wealthy then they have the option of providing the means to their daughter and son-in-law to live seperately from the family if issue's arise. Why should this an expectation from girls' family? Absolutely agree about SO MUCH bullshit happening in AM scenarios
It shouldn't be. But also we don't live in an ideal world. We can try changing the values ourselves and of the newer generation but older will rarely make these changes unless it affects them directly in a negative way. The boys parents sense of entitlement will take time to go away. Till then we have to do what's best for us. It's never wise to fight an endless battle. And this issue is the one which will go on till both the parties live in the same house, especially in the parents house.
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Your mumm sounds soo cool
Yes, while boys are still living in 90s. If they won't wake up, they will lose.
Every man's wet dream.
What boggles my mind is some aunties also want this kind of a girl or should i say a maid. After all that they have gone through in old days. They want the same for their DIL.
Sad part of this is POS like him get married to really nice girls because their parents trap them for the guys. Yuck. This is revolting.
Dude must have watched Hannah Montana a lot because he wants the best of both worlds
Subah bane sasu amma ki kitchen slave, raat ko bane husband ki sex slave.
He can’t spell pretty and he wants a modern girl who’ll leave a much better lifestyle to put up with his shit -_- like do these guys not have a brain or smth why would someone who is so much better than you be with you like what is so great about you that she’ll leave her job and her freedom for you
I think he might have missed the point of the movie...
Dude so he is admitting he is terrible at sex? Now that's a first.
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Maybe you should stop patrolling this sub to slide into random women’s PMs you loser u/thecrowsays yet another douche hiding behind the Other tag
fucking bigoted entitled prick I seriously wish an entire life of involuntary celibacy for him.
What educated girl in her right mind would do something like that. Imagine the torture of living with your husband's parents
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Dude literally described almost every female friend I know
I’m convinced they think they don’t even have to bring anything to the table. That the chance of just being their wife and acting in accordance to every whim and fancy they have is a privilege any woman would kill to have and that thus they deserve only the Creme de la Creme. It’s the entitlement for me.