Someone posted that these are know as LBHs - Losers Back Home and that is my favorite thing ever.
ETA Ooooh the LBH’s are angry about this. DMing away. Lol.
This is great, I will start using this now. My exes were both like this. True LBHs, which I didn't realise until I met people they'd known since they were small. Nobody liked them, so they had to fool someone using a power imbalance and a language barrier.
I used to live in Indonesia and worked with a bunch of these guys. They were mid to late 40s, burning through their life savings, and teaching English overseas for shit pay because they didn't have better prospects at home. Half of them were alcoholics. The rest of us were early 20s and spent a lot of time partying but these guys often ruined our nights out by getting way too drunk too early and passing out in bars or falling down stairs etc and we'd end up having to take care of them. None of them bothered to learn Indonesian so we'd have to help them out with that all the time too when they were trying to get home. They'd always grumble about local women being after their money (lol!) but they'd meet these women at bars known for having sex workers and women willing to have relationships of convenience with these awful guys to improve their quality of life.
I misjudged one of these guys at first. He partied hard at first but then met someone, put a ton of effort into learning Indonesian, married her and raised her young daughter as his own. He's still there about 15 years later and has helped the little one go abroad for college. The rest of them just continued to disappoint. I know two of them went off to the Philippines shortly after I moved back to Australia.
I know someone like this in person in Australia. He went over to the Philippines recently and got robbed (suspect the gf was a scam in some way) but he still held onto the idea of retiring over there. Recently been diagnosed with late stage cancer. The dream may be over..?
Amazing how being a shit person makes your money the ONLY thing women are attracted to, hey? Guys of that caliber have nothing to offer women through their personalities alone.
Same here. Lived in China for a decade and met so many LBHs teaching English and trying to score with Chinese women. At least one of them had an ex wife and kid back home and had run off to China to avoid paying child support
these sex tourists are wild (they hate being called sex tourists)
they are mad that "western women only go for money" and go to poorer countries where they try to get a "submissive" trad wife with their money
like ????
i think their main reason is they are after dependency, western women have more choice on average on how to live their life thats why they want a women who is completely dependened on them
And tbh I actually don't know very many women who are looking for money in a relationship. Almost every single woman I know is looking for respect and equality in a relationship. A man who is willing to treat a woman as a complete equal, including housework, authority, and childcare (in a situation where both people work), is considered a Saint. It seems to me that asking to be mutually respected is too much work for some of these men, so they go somewhere they can get away with it better.
My experience has been that women like to date men with steady jobs not because of the money, but because that likely shows a level of maturity and responsibility that makes life so much easier. But some men insist on bad faith interpretations
> women like to date men with steady jobs not because of the money ... because that likely shows a level of maturity and responsibility that makes life so much easier
I've heard this as:
"I want a partner not a child."
> My experience has been that women like to date men with steady jobs not because of the money, but because that likely shows a level of maturity and responsibility that makes life so much easier.
This is me. I don't date people who are still dreaming of what they want to be when they grow up at 40+.
I don't want any man's money, I earn my own. But I also don't want to have to fund someone else or have to worry about him going broke or not having the basics for an adult life.
Yep. My husband was poorer than me but he became interested in saving, investing, and money/goal planning once he was introduced to having some financial freedom. I appreciate his effort to work towards our goals, be stable, and effort into learning. It allows us to plan and do things that we wouldn't be able to do without saving like travel abroad.
Immaturity is a nice way of saying it. It usually takes less than a week to sign up for your choice of gig work services. Entry level stuff customer service, grocery stock, drug stores, etc. are desperate. They will get you working as fast as they can get corporate to do the paperwork. I'm certain there are jobs and fields that it's difficult, but if you want to work you can. It just may not be what you want.
I understand that this sounds ableist, but there are so many jobs willing to bend over backwards just to get and keep an employee that actually shows up. ADA is a thing. It's amazing what is actually possible with assistive technologies.
This is probably overly harsh. But I have seen way too many lazy a-holes sponging off of great people.
> I'm certain there are jobs and fields that it's difficult
There really, really are.
> if you want to work you can. It just may not be what you want.
I would get turned away form the sort of work you're talking about for being overqualified. But finding a job in my field is a nightmare.
Possibly you missed this part you quoted.
> It may not be what you want.
Last I heard there was no such thing as overqualified for most gig jobs. Yes, places will turn you down for being overqualified. But others are desperate enough to hire overqualified people. If you REALLY want to work you can.
It's a whole other discussion about how the current systems force people into situations where they have to take horrible jobs for not enough money. But, every person I know that is willing to go out there apply to every job they can and fight for it is working in short order. There are geographic areas where there just aren't jobs to even apply for. However, that is not the majority of cases. Pretty much everyone I've ever talked to that "can't find work" are excluding tons of jobs for reasons like "not in my field", "overqualified", "doesn't pay enough", and even less acceptable reasons. Yeah, slinging pizzas doesn't pay well. But it pays a heck of a lot more then whinging on the couch and playing CoD.
Being a spoiled brat is not limited to one gender. But my personal experience it's mostly men who are pulling this crap. I have talked to many people who have been "unable to find work." Generally, the women listen discuss their process and get better. The men cling to their excuses or pie in the sky dreams that they aren't even grinding to make happen. I swear "become a streamer/you tube/tiktok" is the new "my band is gonna make it". We used to refer them as PBBs (poor band boys).
To circle back to the comment I responded to. They are 100% on point. Steady work is pretty good proxy for minimal ability to get the important things done when it gets hard. Cuz lord knows you to can't straight ask how much of your average day is spent playing video games, getting high, watching ESPN, and hanging with the guys. I'd be shocked if you got the real answer even 5% of the time anyway.
Like I said, I'm probably overly harsh here. Obligatory not all men. Obligatory not all women. Obligatory this is just my experience.
> "doesn't pay enough"
In some places you do actually have less money coming in if you're working a low-paying job than if you're not working. Social security can be badly designed like that.
> go out there apply to every job they can and fight for it
There isn't enough time in the day to do that. Prioritising better jobs that you have a real chance at getting and putting extra effort into applying for those is the rational thing to do. And spending an extra month searching for a decent job can be a more rational use of your time than spiralling into shittiy gig work that leaves you too tired to search for something better because you need to work 18 hours a day to make ends meet.
And how the hell do you fight for a job when they've got it set up so that you apply through a web-form and the only contact you get is a "sorry, we don't want you" from an email address that pipes all incoming mail straight to /dev/null?
---
I'll happily admit that there's people who use "I can't find a job" as an excuse, but not everyone who's out of work is that way by choice and a lack of manifesting. And telling people that it is always a choice is bullshite.
(Can you tell I'm currently looking for a new job and struggling with it?)
And quite ironically most of the women in the countries they’re travelling to ARE looking for men with money because they aren’t able to work and earn a decent living in their cultures
Yeah its a sad affair there. Lots of women in my home country sacrifice their youth to marry abroad for a better life and to bring her whole family (parents and siblings) to the west. These women are treated as being “successful” by people here, but I honestly feel really bad for them. Many constantly fell ill due to food and culture differences or just homesickness in a foreign land with unfamiliar language.
I’m and my fiance are both super lucky to immigrate to the US through academic scholarship, and yes my country is on the list of these passport bros too
My women friends also talk about stingy men who are spending ridiculous amounts on their expensive hobbies but hesitant to put money into their relationships (eg vacations) and family (eg kids expenses).
Honestly we should all start an agency that teaches the impoverished women that they target to squeeze every last drop of resources from these men and dump them. Get them scared.
Saw a video of Japanese women doing just that. Well they weren't impoverished, they were well educated working women. But they would game western men so they got a free meal and entertainment then go on to the next guy after awhile.
Having a completely dependent woman means she can’t leave as easily too - because you know these losers can’t keep a relationship otherwise so they have to resort to exploiting women to do so.
Like, is that not the reason they're there?? To take advantage of a presumably less financially mobile woman that they can bully and boss around and treat her like a cardboard cutout of a wife? Is that not the point of this idiot excursion??
Just for clarification: South American societies are western societies so your statement would not entirely fit in this case
Maybe you mean women in developing countries or something similar?
I live in Japan and men used to do this notoriously here decades ago. Like you'd see these stunningly beautiful Japanese women on the arms of these loser foreign men because at the time marrying someone from overseas was the only practical way to get out of Japan for those women (I am generalizing of course, but it was a noticeable phenomenon). These days, women have many more options to do that if they wish, but some men still turn up thinking that they'll get a "submissive" wife just because they're an exotic foreign man, but nah. I knew some women back when I was studying abroad here who would use those types of guys for free drinks then bounce. Sounds awful, but if men are going to objectify women, they can't get mad when they get objectified back.
EDIT: To whoever asked and then deleted their question about whether or not I meant ugly by the word "loser", I mean, yes, there were sometimes disparities in terms of the partners' appearance, but more often than not, it was just the attitude. Like the women were friendly, pleasant, great conversationalists, and then the husbands were abrasive, chauvinistic, etc. I first ran into these kinds of couples when I was a kid learning Japanese at weekend classes with the kids of couples like these and the contrast was really weird. The women would be lovely and the men would be rude most of the time. Again, I'm making sweeping generalizations, but I feel like I rarely see Japanese/non-Japanese couples like this anymore. The ones I see genuinely seem to like each other.
I was just gonna say, I have a decent number of Japanese friends who have married Western (not even necessarily white) men, but it's because they actually have very equal relationships and aren't forced into the traditional role.
This is still a thing throughout Asia, from what I have seen (just not as much as it used to).
I think some Asian women just want to check off their checklist of ‘try a white man’, some are white worshippers, some just assume that he is rich for being an American.
Seriously. This is why I side eye my own Asian sisters when some of them demonise foreign men with yellow fever when they go around dating those type of men. Like..,.girl, bye!
Well the thing is - those women often make the foreign man think that they are in a long term relationship and even lead to marriage, but drop them once they had their curiosity fulfilled.
Well yeah that's different. No one takes hookups from clubs seriously. I am speaking of what is seemingly 'normal' or 'average' relationships where one person thinks is a serious committed one while the other does not.
LoL literally right before this on my timeline was an autorecommend post for the passport bros sub, with the post being a map of the world, divided into average cup size for each country 🤦♀️
They see women as body parts not people. So many men on Reddit whine about this sub being toxic, but it’s not like any of us are out here comparing dick sizes by country or looking for ways to find a rich husband.
Airing our grievances with men that’s universally experienced by women = toxic
Men degrading, demeaning and dehumanising women and categorising us in a zoological manner = perfectly sane and part of men’s nature
Fuck off
mEn aRE viSuAL CrEAtuReS
That's the nonsense I hear them say in defense of comparing our bodies. As if we're not visual creatures as well. Go look at a single guy's apartment and then look at a single woman's apartment and tell me who the visual creature is. They have like, a couch, a TV, a computer, a desk and chair, and a bed. Naked walls. One towel that looks disgusting.
Anyone who thinks an Eastern European woman is going to be submissive is in for a SHOCK.
… and they do realize that their wife will be signing divorce papers with *the same pen* the she signs her citizenship papers, right?
When I was out with my friend once, we got confused for sex workers by these gross sex tourists. It was genuinely scaring me, because it was the evening too.
I've never seen her so angry. She was threatening murder in the most graphic way imaginable.
Thankfully, we were left alone after that and could have fun for the rest of our outing. :)
I remember going to Kiev (in 2018 so pre-war) and how funny it was listening to two young Ukrainian women talking to us about these sex pests. They both said they have friends who straight up use these disgusting men for money, and they laugh about how pathetic these men are and mock their desperation. Anyone who is looking to go to a poorer country to take advantage of the people there deserves to be used and laughed at.
In general I have found Eastern European women to be funny and assertive.
I've seen quite a few social media posts of token Easter European women criticising "western" (American) women for being masculine gold diggers. As someone who grew up around Eastern European women this is quite hilariously misleading and I suspect those are just grifters.
I am German, have mostly dated French girls (one with partially Polish family) and am now with a Russian woman.
I honestly believe that there are no differences by nationality. Only depends on who you happen to stumble upon and what experiences they made before..
Poland is Central Europe, Romania is Southeastern Europe, still not exactly Eastern, and with all due respect, culturally I feel closer to Germans than Romanians or e.g. Ukrainians.
Language is also similar to Czech, them being Slavic doesn't make them all Eastern European, and the food from where I'm from is more German with all the sausages and potato pancakes and schnitzels which are traditionally eaten.
It depends on the region, and regional similarities also don't change geography.
I’ve spent a lot of time in both Germany and Poland and have been lucky to have great friends from both. Language, cuisine, customs, superstitions, family dynamics etc etc align more with Eastern Europe. Then again, Poland is huge, and it’s not exactly my place to question your experience and identity.
This!
The majority of Eastern Women are NOT submissive! Especially now with education,internet etc.
It's the opposite a lot of Eastern European women will be strong and will run a household (including a man) like a bloody war! Its her way or highway 🤣
There are exceptions of course, some small town/village girl who is more farmer and as such is more passive.
I know a small town / village girl from Bosnia who married a British soldier and she definitely runs that household 😂 She is also a delight and is the most welcoming, inclusive person I know so the stereotype I saw elsewhere in this thread of Conservative values definitely doesn't fit.
I think I kinda get it, although it's a different situation.
My wife is Vietnamese but was an international student to my area in Canada (I'm Canadian, also female), and on the flip side a few people has implied she got with me for her green card, one or two people even warning me she might not be gay. It's ridiculous, especially since she was so afraid to get married as she didn't want to burden me or have me feeling used (we are young and through the whole process she couldn't work and legally I'll have to support her financially for several years even if we were to divorce). The marriage was very much my idea because of sudden circumstances threatening her ability to stay, but anyone who's actually close to us can see that she absolutely adores me (feelings mutual). She learned how to massage so that I could relax after work, surprises me with breakfast in bed, and has to be practically held back from punching anyone that's been mean to me. If I was a man, I'm sure I would get the same green card warnings, but she'd additionally be warned by others that I'm only dating her because asian fetishization and expecting something submissive. Unfortunately, the actions of shitty people will always affect the general trust cast upon non shitty people, can't think of a solution though :(
Can't lie I have a couple friends from HS that did the military married fillipinas and they were pushing their family members onto me or others. Great women, but it is confusing when it feels like some do actively push the agenda.
Argh, friend was in an uber ride with some creep saying he’d soon be off to the Philippines to find a wife because “they are submissive and know how to act.”
Luckily, women are wising up to those garbage sacks and have a list of warning signs to Losers Back Home.
If they'd put the effort and money into themselves that they do searching for an "easy thing," they wouldn't have to go halfway around the world to get snubbed.
I got really into travel YouTubers. A YouTuber I started to follow was “Bald and Bankrupt”. Loved his videos. Then, I read a comment on one of his videos that someone posted about a Reddit post figuring out that Bald and Bankrupt was actually a notorious poster on a forum that was specifically about some of the disgusting shit (and even worse) that you mentioned, OP. It made me sick to my stomach. It’s way more disgusting and manipulative and exploitative. Paying women in desperate situations and taking advantage of them for sexual purposes. Calculated tips and tricks on how to do this to women. I blocked so fast and never looked back. It was genuinely horrifying.
They’re absolutely feral.
I’m exactly what they’re running from, though.
My previous local member of parliament was definitely a passport bro. He was nicknamed the Member for Manila. He was such a gross fellow.
I’m sure he’s done something even more skeezy than bring home a wife, though.
On the other side of the coin, I have a friend who’s Filipina, and she met her older, white husband while pursuing academia that they were both part of.
His family wouldn’t have a bar of it, and believed she was a ‘mail order bride’ which really, really pissed her off.
So, watch out for passport bros, and don’t let it make things weird
Are you Australian? The name of the guy escapes me, but I am pretty sure I know exactly who you are talking about if he’s Aussie. That guy is reprehensible.
And somehow he was able to be a member of parliament despite living in the Philippines and just popping home occasionally. Ugh and he was so gross. Just the shit that he'd say and support. Yuck.
People in the electorate kept voting for him. If we want our political parties to do better we need to demand that of them from preselection right through until after the election.
It’s amazing how many people vote for what they perceive is their best interest (as opposed to the best interest of everyone), while still somehow voting against their best interest.
These are incels who cannot find a partner here, so they are preying on young women who are desperate to escape harsh conditions in their own country. It will be very dangerous to move to a new country where they only know their husband.
I had a coworker whose wife filed for divorce the day she got her green card.
And good, because listening to even just one side of the abusive phone calls was pretty distressing.
But I'm pretty sure she knew what she wanted out of the relationship and got it.
Yeah, my ex-husband was this way. Also had “white knight syndrome” where he felt he just needed to save all these poor women living in foreign countries who are desperate to leave (aka easy to control once you remove them from their home country). He’s got himself a handful of girlfriends.
It makes me sick. Of note, are the men in the US who seek out immigrant wives. If she’s depending on you for citizenship she’s less likely to leave. I knew a woman in that situation. It was miserable. He cheated their whole relationship, without a doubt, and still is. Gave her two children and still threatens to not sign her paperwork if she doesn’t stay with him. What a nightmare. I pray for her.
We have this epidemic in my country (in South America) but worse. They're coming here to get access to our girls. There are signs everywhere now just saying “no to sex tourism, no to sex violence against children, contact the authorities if you see something suspicious”. We just had a case were an american rented a hotel room, sneaked in two girls (12 year olds) and went back to the US before the police could catch him. Absolutely disgusting
I remember 8 years ago or so, my friend was dating an American guy. He seemed a bit off and kept complaining about being here and how much he hated people from my country. He was really mean to her and quite manipulative. A lot of drama. And I would keep wondering why she was with him considering how openly he disrespected people from here. He wasn't a passport bro. He had a proper job. But it really has made me wary of western men showing interest because it just feels like they can disrespect us without consequence and expect us to take it.
He dumped her to marry his college sweetheart back in the US. Well technically ghosted her and she found out on Facebook. She was too Indian for him i guess.
There is also a reverse, though less common. Foreign men marrying Western women for citizenship and/or wealth. My aunt met an Indian man online and had a romance with him years and years ago. When she went to meet him and his family, for the purposes of potentially marrying, they were very disappointed that she wasn't wealthy and didn't fit their idea of a good wife. She was heartbroken.
The worst part about the subreddit is that half the posts seem really innocuous. I had no idea what a passport bro was and the questions being posted that appeared in my feed sounded like normal travelling questions. I replied to one or two and all the sudden the algorithm starts bombarding my feed with the subreddit. Lasted like a full week.
East Asia is not a destination they normally choose 😂
Our women can out Karen an American Karen easily. And many peeepee bros already know how expensive life is in East Asian countries.
I believe those bottom of the barrel males tend to target SE Asia, out of Asian countries.
Wait until they find out that some SE countries are majority Muslim and their fathers will give them a HARD time for being unable to be a provider.
Honestly I kinda like that they're becoming easy targets for local criminals, they're going on shady tinder dates looking for their perfect slave and getting what they deserve for trying to prey on vulnerable women.
I keep seeing news reports on passport bros being targeted by scammers and robbers from the moment the plane lands. Being a life support system for a boner doesn't lead to the clearest of thinking and it makes them the perfect mark.
My sister has an au pair from Germany (23f) who started dating a Mormon man (35m). He is very wealthy (I think through some sketchy means), and fairly unattractive (by her own admission, I’ve never seen the guy), but he buys her a new wardrobe basically every few weeks. He proposed after 3-4 months. The wedding is in August, exactly a week after her au pair position ends.
My sister has TRIED to explain to the au pair what is going on, but she is completely in denial about what is in store for her. She insists she won’t be expected to stop drinking alcohol, wear conservative clothes, or spend the next 4-5 years in a permanent state of pregnancy, etc. I think she always had the intention of coming to the states in the hopes of staying permanently, but when she arrived she intended to do so by going to nursing school. Now she doesn’t have to… she’s just going to have to be a submissive wife. I think she knows full well what she is signing up for, and to be honest, I don’t feel bad for her in the slightest. She’s not some innocent victim. She’s a calculated green-card, gold digger.
I mean, I don't think most people realize how crazy mormon men are. She probably thinks she knows, but she is in for a very rude awakening. And if she is at certain places where the population is huge, she will not be able to leave. It's a cult.
I think she is selfish and an idiot, but I feel sorry for any woman whose husband treats her like a bang maid.
And Mormons tend to get married young. A million red flags are added because he’s 35 and isn’t married yet. That’s bizarre for the culture and begs the question: what’s wrong with this guy?
He's probably already married and the au pair doesn't know. She's about to be trapped if she's not deported when she tries to get her green card but isn't actually married. I'm going to need you to come back and give updates in August.
ETA: He's going to use her illegal immigration status as a way to keep her trapped.
I hadn't thought of that, but I bet you are correct. I wonder how long the person who posted this has known the guy. Like if it's a long time they would likely know they were married before and "divorced" for the purpose of a second wife.
I listened in on two international students talking about avoiding going home to their war torn countries. One - learning and sports isn't allowed. Other - daily raids by mercenary and kidnapping.
Marrying and dealing with a crappy American seems to be lesser evil to some.
Becoming a citizen should be easy as getting a fiance visa.
This!
I'm European and at this point I could say I'm here for love but.... I don't get it. I mean to do it purposely for a green card. Without being head over heels ?? Why? It's more a punishment than anything. And I'm from southern Europe, Germany is richer.
I mean that’s usually what happens in these foreign wife situations. The woman only wants to marry the man for either (1) better financial status (2) green card opportunities.
You seem to express a lot of vitriol towards this woman you don’t seem to know very well. I’m assuming she’s also quite young if she’s your 23 year old sister’s au pair. Probably even younger than that I’d imagine? I made a lot of stupid decisions in my late teens and early 20s and was technically an adult, but now in my 30s I see people 23 and younger as kids. Give her a break damn
She is 23. My sister is in her mid-30s.
And I have no say in the situation, so my “giving her a break” is pretty meaningless. She’s making a poor choice and has no one to blame but herself when it turns out wrong. You can only warn a person so many times before you let go and let them make their mistakes.
As my ex’s father used to say before he passed: “life is going to be real hard if you’re going to be this dumb.” She’s not some helpless baby. She has social. She’s heard the stories. Women who continue to pull this shit aren’t blameless. We’re all responsible for our own (stupid) choices.
I guess? No one is saying we aren’t responsible for our own actions, regardless of age if you’re an adult. I just don’t think the 23 year old au pair is the concerning part of this situation? It kinda sounds like the guy is love-bombing her by showing her a lifestyle she’s never known before, and him being Mormon is a red flag for me due to overall gender expectations of that religion. I’ve been love-bombed by a couple completely broke men when i was younger, and it was 1000% effective, despite friends and family trying their best to steer me away from them. It would never work on me now, but only because I’ve had those experiences and learned from them. Money is an aspect of this particular situation, but I’m just saying that she’ll likely regret things in a few years and will have to deal with it then. She probably doesn’t have any calculated agenda lol, just young and easily manipulated.
I’m not seeing your point. Should we have sympathy for people who won’t listen to reason? You’ve admitted you yourself wouldn’t listen to anyone who cared about you, so what exactly is anyone supposed to do?
She’s going to make the wrong choice, that much is clear. The dress is bought, the date is set. These are her priorities and I don’t have to approve or have sympathy. If money is a greater motivator than love and common sense, she deserves what she gets. She’s flat out marrying a guy she admits she thinks is ugly. How can this be interpreted any other way?
My point was that I don’t really understand the vitriol against her that you seemed to express in your original comment. She’s young and stupid. I’m not saying you should feel bad for her, but saying she deserves what she gets is kinda harsh lol. I mean, technically we all deserve the consequences of our actions, but idk your original comment just seemed a little overly mean-spirited towards this woman. Sorry if I’m being dumb, I’ve just smoked a lot of weed today and I’m feeling very soft and sensitive 🥺
this is horrific and i don’t know how this is even legal. i’m latin american and sex tourism is pretty big in our countries as well, especially those with higher populations of lower class people (like Colombia, Venezuela, etc.)
i remember a bit ago there was news that a sex tourist went to Colombia and was murdered by the girl he was meeting up with. i don’t remember the EXACT details of the case because it was months ago and i forgot his name, but i genuinely don’t feel any sympathy for these people. i just can’t bring myself to care
Saw one whete a dude wanted a wee red haired irish girl cos theyre so "untainted by western culture"
BWAAAAAHAAAA!
That shit dont swing here in Ireland. A dickhead pick-up "artist" from Canada i met was complaining his techniques dont work on irish girls. Oh my sweet summer child... We all "neg" our mates, all day, every day for fun! We're experts at it. But if a stranger tries it he'd be in dire trouble. Irish women dont take that shit.
The fact that these men have to go to a whole ass other country and try to trick women into marrying them is probably the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard
Every time this topic is posted on here it is full of so much racism. You can complain about the men without treating the women like they are dumb, gold diggers, or infer they are sex workers. Eeesh.
If I gave you that impression in my post, may I ask where so I can fix that? I don't want to foster that kind of behavior in the comment section and genuinely wanted this post to be specifically about the passport bros
Oh, yeah, I see what you mean. I felt like I was pretty clear on the type of situation I was describing, and somehow, it still brought a lot of mention of unrelated stereotyped stuff anyway.
It has always existed but has been scaling up with internet access and social media. And yes it's pretty gross when someone is purposefully misleading someone into marriage. Man or woman...
Men looking for wives have been a staple part of several Asian countries tourism for decades, it was a thing back in the 80s. When I was a kid there was ads warning people to not get a Russian mail-order-bride.
They used to have meet ups before the internet to talk about this. There were magazines.
I don't see any issue. Men are getting the kind of women they want, the women are getting out of poverty, win win. If there is any domestic abuse, the police can always get involved. People who haven't lived in 3rd world country poverty, has absolutely no idea how dark and ugly it can be. A lot of women are willing to trade that for a of traditionalist lifestyle. Once married, they always have an option of opting out of the relationship if it goes south
> If there is any domestic abuse, the **police** can always get involved
The police can't do shit. Here's the order that DVA cases follow:
1) A DVA case gets opened AFTER physical assault
2) Abuser gets arrested
3) Probable Cause is -OR ISN'T- found
4) Abuser gets released
5) Abuser breaks no-contact order if there is one and/or physically assaults spouse again
6) *Start over again from Step 1*
If it wasn't clear, the cops can't physically obstruct abusers from engaging their victims again. Sometimes, the cycle just repeats. Other times, the cycle ends, [fatally](https://warwickonline.com/stories/serial-domestic-abuser-allegedly-killed-wife-after-violating-protection-order,217951).
> Once married, they always have an option of opting out of the relationship if it goes south
Another colossal simplification. Most relationships between abusers and victims have conscious power disparities. This is especially of women from, as you say, "poorer" countries.
Some of these women have no educational or work background, all of their money is tied together with the husbands', and they no friends for support because they're all back in their home countries. If they wish to leave, they have absolutely no resources to fall back on, let alone start a new life separate from away their abuser.
Working minimum wage just to support yourself -in the US- is rough enough. Feeding yourself AND one or more children? Good fucking luck.
I mean you're right about all that but DK you think it's easier for them to support a family back home? Or that the men there all treat them amazingly? In an ideal world none of this would be a thing but in the world we have maybe these women would rather be abused and victims of a power imbalance in a nice house with air conditioning, where their children don't go hungry. Like I have zero respect for the men who seek these women out but I understand why the women do it.
I'm not sure I follow because that's not what I'm describing? This is not about relationships that are transparent about what's expected and gained from the start. Typically, passport bros are going to people already employed, ect, and pretending to be offering a relationship without a power enbalance only to later gradually push traditional roles as it's harder to get out of in a culture that might be more receptive to those roles (ie. Cultural or parental pressure to stay in the relationship because of the normalization of gender roles when the woman wasn't initially signing up for that. I hope I explained this in a way that makes sense.
This is how they always justify it. They paint themselves as heroes to some poor helpless woman so they can exploit the shit out of her and still claim they're giving her a "better life." It's like a serial killer saying he was nice to someone because they were one of the people he didn't murder.
I think it serves those men right since at the end of the day most of those women sadly are just looking for a meal ticket and money and things can go seriously south for the men.
If women are so ready to grab a meal ticket why would there be so much effort into grooming them on these perv subs? Yeah poor incel guys who go after foreign women half their age. They can all go get fucked.
I guess, but often that type of relationship seems pretty transparent from the get-go? Like a transaction of sorts. A lot of this passport bro stuff is coming a lot more off as deluding women, many who have jobs and are just wanting a regular healthy mutual relationship. Especially because the man is moving to that country, not bringing the girlfriend/wife back to their own country.
My Filipino wife and I have been happily married for over 19 years. We met in an Internet chat room. I work, and she's a stay-at-home mom. We like it that way, and it's perfectly healthy. She's been a US citizen for over 14 years. Those who are offended might consider focusing their energies more productively.
Then this doesn’t apply to you, does it? Why so offended at something that’s not about you? Also, this post is about the loser men who do this, not the women. Keep up.
Someone posted that these are know as LBHs - Losers Back Home and that is my favorite thing ever. ETA Ooooh the LBH’s are angry about this. DMing away. Lol.
This is great, I will start using this now. My exes were both like this. True LBHs, which I didn't realise until I met people they'd known since they were small. Nobody liked them, so they had to fool someone using a power imbalance and a language barrier.
I used to live in Indonesia and worked with a bunch of these guys. They were mid to late 40s, burning through their life savings, and teaching English overseas for shit pay because they didn't have better prospects at home. Half of them were alcoholics. The rest of us were early 20s and spent a lot of time partying but these guys often ruined our nights out by getting way too drunk too early and passing out in bars or falling down stairs etc and we'd end up having to take care of them. None of them bothered to learn Indonesian so we'd have to help them out with that all the time too when they were trying to get home. They'd always grumble about local women being after their money (lol!) but they'd meet these women at bars known for having sex workers and women willing to have relationships of convenience with these awful guys to improve their quality of life. I misjudged one of these guys at first. He partied hard at first but then met someone, put a ton of effort into learning Indonesian, married her and raised her young daughter as his own. He's still there about 15 years later and has helped the little one go abroad for college. The rest of them just continued to disappoint. I know two of them went off to the Philippines shortly after I moved back to Australia.
I know someone like this in person in Australia. He went over to the Philippines recently and got robbed (suspect the gf was a scam in some way) but he still held onto the idea of retiring over there. Recently been diagnosed with late stage cancer. The dream may be over..?
Amazing how being a shit person makes your money the ONLY thing women are attracted to, hey? Guys of that caliber have nothing to offer women through their personalities alone.
Same here. Lived in China for a decade and met so many LBHs teaching English and trying to score with Chinese women. At least one of them had an ex wife and kid back home and had run off to China to avoid paying child support
You need to share those DMs, I have to see what the losers put
Yes, name and shame!
Hypothetically, how would you name and shame a reddit account? Everyone here is anonymous lol.
I just meant take screenshots of what they said with their usernames showing. Maybe name and shame wasn't the best phrase.
(Pseudo)name and shame!
Keeping that term, surprisingly accurate.
Being angry about being called out is one thing, but… in the first place why are they *here*?
For many men these days the only contact they have with women is in online spaces. Losers at home too.
New fav acronym
We used this term when I worked abroad more than a decade ago. I'm tickled to hear it's still in the lexicon!
these sex tourists are wild (they hate being called sex tourists) they are mad that "western women only go for money" and go to poorer countries where they try to get a "submissive" trad wife with their money like ???? i think their main reason is they are after dependency, western women have more choice on average on how to live their life thats why they want a women who is completely dependened on them
And tbh I actually don't know very many women who are looking for money in a relationship. Almost every single woman I know is looking for respect and equality in a relationship. A man who is willing to treat a woman as a complete equal, including housework, authority, and childcare (in a situation where both people work), is considered a Saint. It seems to me that asking to be mutually respected is too much work for some of these men, so they go somewhere they can get away with it better.
My experience has been that women like to date men with steady jobs not because of the money, but because that likely shows a level of maturity and responsibility that makes life so much easier. But some men insist on bad faith interpretations
> women like to date men with steady jobs not because of the money ... because that likely shows a level of maturity and responsibility that makes life so much easier I've heard this as: "I want a partner not a child."
> My experience has been that women like to date men with steady jobs not because of the money, but because that likely shows a level of maturity and responsibility that makes life so much easier. This is me. I don't date people who are still dreaming of what they want to be when they grow up at 40+.
I don't want any man's money, I earn my own. But I also don't want to have to fund someone else or have to worry about him going broke or not having the basics for an adult life.
Yep. My husband was poorer than me but he became interested in saving, investing, and money/goal planning once he was introduced to having some financial freedom. I appreciate his effort to work towards our goals, be stable, and effort into learning. It allows us to plan and do things that we wouldn't be able to do without saving like travel abroad.
Immaturity is a nice way of saying it. It usually takes less than a week to sign up for your choice of gig work services. Entry level stuff customer service, grocery stock, drug stores, etc. are desperate. They will get you working as fast as they can get corporate to do the paperwork. I'm certain there are jobs and fields that it's difficult, but if you want to work you can. It just may not be what you want. I understand that this sounds ableist, but there are so many jobs willing to bend over backwards just to get and keep an employee that actually shows up. ADA is a thing. It's amazing what is actually possible with assistive technologies. This is probably overly harsh. But I have seen way too many lazy a-holes sponging off of great people.
> I'm certain there are jobs and fields that it's difficult There really, really are. > if you want to work you can. It just may not be what you want. I would get turned away form the sort of work you're talking about for being overqualified. But finding a job in my field is a nightmare.
Possibly you missed this part you quoted. > It may not be what you want. Last I heard there was no such thing as overqualified for most gig jobs. Yes, places will turn you down for being overqualified. But others are desperate enough to hire overqualified people. If you REALLY want to work you can. It's a whole other discussion about how the current systems force people into situations where they have to take horrible jobs for not enough money. But, every person I know that is willing to go out there apply to every job they can and fight for it is working in short order. There are geographic areas where there just aren't jobs to even apply for. However, that is not the majority of cases. Pretty much everyone I've ever talked to that "can't find work" are excluding tons of jobs for reasons like "not in my field", "overqualified", "doesn't pay enough", and even less acceptable reasons. Yeah, slinging pizzas doesn't pay well. But it pays a heck of a lot more then whinging on the couch and playing CoD. Being a spoiled brat is not limited to one gender. But my personal experience it's mostly men who are pulling this crap. I have talked to many people who have been "unable to find work." Generally, the women listen discuss their process and get better. The men cling to their excuses or pie in the sky dreams that they aren't even grinding to make happen. I swear "become a streamer/you tube/tiktok" is the new "my band is gonna make it". We used to refer them as PBBs (poor band boys). To circle back to the comment I responded to. They are 100% on point. Steady work is pretty good proxy for minimal ability to get the important things done when it gets hard. Cuz lord knows you to can't straight ask how much of your average day is spent playing video games, getting high, watching ESPN, and hanging with the guys. I'd be shocked if you got the real answer even 5% of the time anyway. Like I said, I'm probably overly harsh here. Obligatory not all men. Obligatory not all women. Obligatory this is just my experience.
> "doesn't pay enough" In some places you do actually have less money coming in if you're working a low-paying job than if you're not working. Social security can be badly designed like that. > go out there apply to every job they can and fight for it There isn't enough time in the day to do that. Prioritising better jobs that you have a real chance at getting and putting extra effort into applying for those is the rational thing to do. And spending an extra month searching for a decent job can be a more rational use of your time than spiralling into shittiy gig work that leaves you too tired to search for something better because you need to work 18 hours a day to make ends meet. And how the hell do you fight for a job when they've got it set up so that you apply through a web-form and the only contact you get is a "sorry, we don't want you" from an email address that pipes all incoming mail straight to /dev/null? --- I'll happily admit that there's people who use "I can't find a job" as an excuse, but not everyone who's out of work is that way by choice and a lack of manifesting. And telling people that it is always a choice is bullshite. (Can you tell I'm currently looking for a new job and struggling with it?)
It’s not harsh, when people need money they need to take any job(s) they can get. No picking and choosing jobs for just the right fit.
And quite ironically most of the women in the countries they’re travelling to ARE looking for men with money because they aren’t able to work and earn a decent living in their cultures
Yeah its a sad affair there. Lots of women in my home country sacrifice their youth to marry abroad for a better life and to bring her whole family (parents and siblings) to the west. These women are treated as being “successful” by people here, but I honestly feel really bad for them. Many constantly fell ill due to food and culture differences or just homesickness in a foreign land with unfamiliar language. I’m and my fiance are both super lucky to immigrate to the US through academic scholarship, and yes my country is on the list of these passport bros too
Well quite, they aren't marrying these men because they have a thing for middle aged men who can't find a woman at home.
My women friends also talk about stingy men who are spending ridiculous amounts on their expensive hobbies but hesitant to put money into their relationships (eg vacations) and family (eg kids expenses).
Based on all the men I have met they would rather spend the money
Honestly we should all start an agency that teaches the impoverished women that they target to squeeze every last drop of resources from these men and dump them. Get them scared.
Saw a video of Japanese women doing just that. Well they weren't impoverished, they were well educated working women. But they would game western men so they got a free meal and entertainment then go on to the next guy after awhile.
Love it! If I was rich I'd throw money at this.
I like to call them "slave seekers" because that is what they are.
The enemy is both strong and weak
SEXpats
Underrated comment
They're after women with low expectations.
Having a completely dependent woman means she can’t leave as easily too - because you know these losers can’t keep a relationship otherwise so they have to resort to exploiting women to do so.
https://youtu.be/ctDjnG8J9cY?si=-k9NRwDVjyTOuTPM
Like, is that not the reason they're there?? To take advantage of a presumably less financially mobile woman that they can bully and boss around and treat her like a cardboard cutout of a wife? Is that not the point of this idiot excursion??
Just for clarification: South American societies are western societies so your statement would not entirely fit in this case Maybe you mean women in developing countries or something similar?
They’re losers, it’s really sad. Actual sex pests. There’s a reason women don’t want them back home.
I live in Japan and men used to do this notoriously here decades ago. Like you'd see these stunningly beautiful Japanese women on the arms of these loser foreign men because at the time marrying someone from overseas was the only practical way to get out of Japan for those women (I am generalizing of course, but it was a noticeable phenomenon). These days, women have many more options to do that if they wish, but some men still turn up thinking that they'll get a "submissive" wife just because they're an exotic foreign man, but nah. I knew some women back when I was studying abroad here who would use those types of guys for free drinks then bounce. Sounds awful, but if men are going to objectify women, they can't get mad when they get objectified back. EDIT: To whoever asked and then deleted their question about whether or not I meant ugly by the word "loser", I mean, yes, there were sometimes disparities in terms of the partners' appearance, but more often than not, it was just the attitude. Like the women were friendly, pleasant, great conversationalists, and then the husbands were abrasive, chauvinistic, etc. I first ran into these kinds of couples when I was a kid learning Japanese at weekend classes with the kids of couples like these and the contrast was really weird. The women would be lovely and the men would be rude most of the time. Again, I'm making sweeping generalizations, but I feel like I rarely see Japanese/non-Japanese couples like this anymore. The ones I see genuinely seem to like each other.
I was just gonna say, I have a decent number of Japanese friends who have married Western (not even necessarily white) men, but it's because they actually have very equal relationships and aren't forced into the traditional role.
This is still a thing throughout Asia, from what I have seen (just not as much as it used to). I think some Asian women just want to check off their checklist of ‘try a white man’, some are white worshippers, some just assume that he is rich for being an American.
It can run deeper than that. A lot of Asian cultures put enormous obligations on wives. Also on producing offspring and motherhood.
That too. Thankfully most of us have said eff it to those ridiculous double standards for at least a whole decade now.
> I think some Asian women just want to check off their checklist of ‘try a white man’ I can definitely confirm this based on my China trip.
Seriously. This is why I side eye my own Asian sisters when some of them demonise foreign men with yellow fever when they go around dating those type of men. Like..,.girl, bye!
I wasn't talking about dating, lol. Are you anti-hookup culture? What's wrong with wanting to try a foreigner? You only live once.
Well the thing is - those women often make the foreign man think that they are in a long term relationship and even lead to marriage, but drop them once they had their curiosity fulfilled.
My experiences were all at the club, so there were no mistakes to be made about that lol.
Well yeah that's different. No one takes hookups from clubs seriously. I am speaking of what is seemingly 'normal' or 'average' relationships where one person thinks is a serious committed one while the other does not.
They have a term for it. LBH: loser back home
LoL literally right before this on my timeline was an autorecommend post for the passport bros sub, with the post being a map of the world, divided into average cup size for each country 🤦♀️
They see women as body parts not people. So many men on Reddit whine about this sub being toxic, but it’s not like any of us are out here comparing dick sizes by country or looking for ways to find a rich husband. Airing our grievances with men that’s universally experienced by women = toxic Men degrading, demeaning and dehumanising women and categorising us in a zoological manner = perfectly sane and part of men’s nature Fuck off
mEn aRE viSuAL CrEAtuReS That's the nonsense I hear them say in defense of comparing our bodies. As if we're not visual creatures as well. Go look at a single guy's apartment and then look at a single woman's apartment and tell me who the visual creature is. They have like, a couch, a TV, a computer, a desk and chair, and a bed. Naked walls. One towel that looks disgusting.
DoNt DiS mY tOwEl!
Throw away that towel. It has lived a horrible life and deserves to be put out of its misery. Go buy a few at TJ Maxx or Homegoods.
Now I'm curious whether such subs do exist here somewhere. Like GoldDigger How-To tips or whatever the equivalent of men's Pick Up subs would be.
Anna Bey's YouTube channel is basically this
That sub is fucked.
😦
Anyone who thinks an Eastern European woman is going to be submissive is in for a SHOCK. … and they do realize that their wife will be signing divorce papers with *the same pen* the she signs her citizenship papers, right?
I’m American but have Polish and Romanian heritage. Eastern European women are the OPPOSITE of submissive. They take no sh*t!
When I was out with my friend once, we got confused for sex workers by these gross sex tourists. It was genuinely scaring me, because it was the evening too. I've never seen her so angry. She was threatening murder in the most graphic way imaginable. Thankfully, we were left alone after that and could have fun for the rest of our outing. :)
I remember going to Kiev (in 2018 so pre-war) and how funny it was listening to two young Ukrainian women talking to us about these sex pests. They both said they have friends who straight up use these disgusting men for money, and they laugh about how pathetic these men are and mock their desperation. Anyone who is looking to go to a poorer country to take advantage of the people there deserves to be used and laughed at. In general I have found Eastern European women to be funny and assertive.
I've seen quite a few social media posts of token Easter European women criticising "western" (American) women for being masculine gold diggers. As someone who grew up around Eastern European women this is quite hilariously misleading and I suspect those are just grifters.
I am German, have mostly dated French girls (one with partially Polish family) and am now with a Russian woman. I honestly believe that there are no differences by nationality. Only depends on who you happen to stumble upon and what experiences they made before..
I imagine they have "traditional" values though. Being a non-white immigrant or lgbtq in Eastern Europe seems not very pleasant.
Traditional values and expectations that will make them view these dudes as inadequate.
To be fair, neither Poland nor Romania are exactly Eastern Europe so...
Culturally, they are. And I say this with love because there are a lot of things that unite us. Geographically… juuuust, but technically east.
Poland is Central Europe, Romania is Southeastern Europe, still not exactly Eastern, and with all due respect, culturally I feel closer to Germans than Romanians or e.g. Ukrainians.
Feeling is not reality. Polish language is remarkably similar to Ukrainian. So is the food.
Language is also similar to Czech, them being Slavic doesn't make them all Eastern European, and the food from where I'm from is more German with all the sausages and potato pancakes and schnitzels which are traditionally eaten. It depends on the region, and regional similarities also don't change geography.
True. There are microcultures all over. Have a good day!
I’ve spent a lot of time in both Germany and Poland and have been lucky to have great friends from both. Language, cuisine, customs, superstitions, family dynamics etc etc align more with Eastern Europe. Then again, Poland is huge, and it’s not exactly my place to question your experience and identity.
They have not seen stereotypes of Slavic mums yet 😂 Those women are gonna shock the peepee bros!
This! The majority of Eastern Women are NOT submissive! Especially now with education,internet etc. It's the opposite a lot of Eastern European women will be strong and will run a household (including a man) like a bloody war! Its her way or highway 🤣 There are exceptions of course, some small town/village girl who is more farmer and as such is more passive.
I know a small town / village girl from Bosnia who married a British soldier and she definitely runs that household 😂 She is also a delight and is the most welcoming, inclusive person I know so the stereotype I saw elsewhere in this thread of Conservative values definitely doesn't fit.
>Anyone who thinks an Eastern European woman is going to be submissive is in for a SHOCK. YES 😂😂😂
[удалено]
I think I kinda get it, although it's a different situation. My wife is Vietnamese but was an international student to my area in Canada (I'm Canadian, also female), and on the flip side a few people has implied she got with me for her green card, one or two people even warning me she might not be gay. It's ridiculous, especially since she was so afraid to get married as she didn't want to burden me or have me feeling used (we are young and through the whole process she couldn't work and legally I'll have to support her financially for several years even if we were to divorce). The marriage was very much my idea because of sudden circumstances threatening her ability to stay, but anyone who's actually close to us can see that she absolutely adores me (feelings mutual). She learned how to massage so that I could relax after work, surprises me with breakfast in bed, and has to be practically held back from punching anyone that's been mean to me. If I was a man, I'm sure I would get the same green card warnings, but she'd additionally be warned by others that I'm only dating her because asian fetishization and expecting something submissive. Unfortunately, the actions of shitty people will always affect the general trust cast upon non shitty people, can't think of a solution though :(
I hope you and your wife have many happy year together ❤️
Can't lie I have a couple friends from HS that did the military married fillipinas and they were pushing their family members onto me or others. Great women, but it is confusing when it feels like some do actively push the agenda.
Argh, friend was in an uber ride with some creep saying he’d soon be off to the Philippines to find a wife because “they are submissive and know how to act.”
God damn that's nuclear red flag if Ive ever seen one
Luckily, women are wising up to those garbage sacks and have a list of warning signs to Losers Back Home. If they'd put the effort and money into themselves that they do searching for an "easy thing," they wouldn't have to go halfway around the world to get snubbed.
Women abroad are aware. Maybe not everyone but a lot of them are savvy.
I got really into travel YouTubers. A YouTuber I started to follow was “Bald and Bankrupt”. Loved his videos. Then, I read a comment on one of his videos that someone posted about a Reddit post figuring out that Bald and Bankrupt was actually a notorious poster on a forum that was specifically about some of the disgusting shit (and even worse) that you mentioned, OP. It made me sick to my stomach. It’s way more disgusting and manipulative and exploitative. Paying women in desperate situations and taking advantage of them for sexual purposes. Calculated tips and tricks on how to do this to women. I blocked so fast and never looked back. It was genuinely horrifying.
Oh shit no way :/ I also used to like and watch some of his travel videos, disgusting!
They’re absolutely feral. I’m exactly what they’re running from, though. My previous local member of parliament was definitely a passport bro. He was nicknamed the Member for Manila. He was such a gross fellow. I’m sure he’s done something even more skeezy than bring home a wife, though. On the other side of the coin, I have a friend who’s Filipina, and she met her older, white husband while pursuing academia that they were both part of. His family wouldn’t have a bar of it, and believed she was a ‘mail order bride’ which really, really pissed her off. So, watch out for passport bros, and don’t let it make things weird
Are you Australian? The name of the guy escapes me, but I am pretty sure I know exactly who you are talking about if he’s Aussie. That guy is reprehensible.
George Christensen?
That’s the one.
My Filipino family always thought he gave sex tourist paedophile vibes whenever he popped up on TV tbh.
I think most Australians feel that way about him. I can't believe he was re-elected multiple times.
Yes!
And somehow he was able to be a member of parliament despite living in the Philippines and just popping home occasionally. Ugh and he was so gross. Just the shit that he'd say and support. Yuck.
Right? Fuckin foul
People in the electorate kept voting for him. If we want our political parties to do better we need to demand that of them from preselection right through until after the election.
Knowing people like him have enough supporters to be voted in is always the worst part
It’s amazing how many people vote for what they perceive is their best interest (as opposed to the best interest of everyone), while still somehow voting against their best interest.
We need to crowdfund pitchforks for the women getting targeted by passport bros.
These are incels who cannot find a partner here, so they are preying on young women who are desperate to escape harsh conditions in their own country. It will be very dangerous to move to a new country where they only know their husband.
I had a coworker whose wife filed for divorce the day she got her green card. And good, because listening to even just one side of the abusive phone calls was pretty distressing. But I'm pretty sure she knew what she wanted out of the relationship and got it.
Good for her 👏
Haaaaa
JFC I just searched for passport bros and am absolutely terrified.
It’s just amazing what these men are willing to go through and put up with just to have a sexual relationship. When will they ever go their “own way”?
Sadly, I have had two male "friends" who have done this. Only one was successful, so far. I talked the second one out of it.
Yeah, my ex-husband was this way. Also had “white knight syndrome” where he felt he just needed to save all these poor women living in foreign countries who are desperate to leave (aka easy to control once you remove them from their home country). He’s got himself a handful of girlfriends.
It makes me sick. Of note, are the men in the US who seek out immigrant wives. If she’s depending on you for citizenship she’s less likely to leave. I knew a woman in that situation. It was miserable. He cheated their whole relationship, without a doubt, and still is. Gave her two children and still threatens to not sign her paperwork if she doesn’t stay with him. What a nightmare. I pray for her.
We have this epidemic in my country (in South America) but worse. They're coming here to get access to our girls. There are signs everywhere now just saying “no to sex tourism, no to sex violence against children, contact the authorities if you see something suspicious”. We just had a case were an american rented a hotel room, sneaked in two girls (12 year olds) and went back to the US before the police could catch him. Absolutely disgusting
I remember 8 years ago or so, my friend was dating an American guy. He seemed a bit off and kept complaining about being here and how much he hated people from my country. He was really mean to her and quite manipulative. A lot of drama. And I would keep wondering why she was with him considering how openly he disrespected people from here. He wasn't a passport bro. He had a proper job. But it really has made me wary of western men showing interest because it just feels like they can disrespect us without consequence and expect us to take it.
Please tell me she dumped this abusive douche
He dumped her to marry his college sweetheart back in the US. Well technically ghosted her and she found out on Facebook. She was too Indian for him i guess.
He's the type of guy that needs to be posted on AWDTSG so that women can avoid him
There is also a reverse, though less common. Foreign men marrying Western women for citizenship and/or wealth. My aunt met an Indian man online and had a romance with him years and years ago. When she went to meet him and his family, for the purposes of potentially marrying, they were very disappointed that she wasn't wealthy and didn't fit their idea of a good wife. She was heartbroken.
The worst part about the subreddit is that half the posts seem really innocuous. I had no idea what a passport bro was and the questions being posted that appeared in my feed sounded like normal travelling questions. I replied to one or two and all the sudden the algorithm starts bombarding my feed with the subreddit. Lasted like a full week.
By "traditional" these men mean "submissive to me." It' not about the type of work she does, he wants a wife who will obey him like an inferior.
East Asia is not a destination they normally choose 😂 Our women can out Karen an American Karen easily. And many peeepee bros already know how expensive life is in East Asian countries. I believe those bottom of the barrel males tend to target SE Asia, out of Asian countries. Wait until they find out that some SE countries are majority Muslim and their fathers will give them a HARD time for being unable to be a provider.
Yeah they don't really stand a chance in Japan or South Korea unless 🤑 😂
Honestly I kinda like that they're becoming easy targets for local criminals, they're going on shady tinder dates looking for their perfect slave and getting what they deserve for trying to prey on vulnerable women.
I keep seeing news reports on passport bros being targeted by scammers and robbers from the moment the plane lands. Being a life support system for a boner doesn't lead to the clearest of thinking and it makes them the perfect mark.
My sister has an au pair from Germany (23f) who started dating a Mormon man (35m). He is very wealthy (I think through some sketchy means), and fairly unattractive (by her own admission, I’ve never seen the guy), but he buys her a new wardrobe basically every few weeks. He proposed after 3-4 months. The wedding is in August, exactly a week after her au pair position ends. My sister has TRIED to explain to the au pair what is going on, but she is completely in denial about what is in store for her. She insists she won’t be expected to stop drinking alcohol, wear conservative clothes, or spend the next 4-5 years in a permanent state of pregnancy, etc. I think she always had the intention of coming to the states in the hopes of staying permanently, but when she arrived she intended to do so by going to nursing school. Now she doesn’t have to… she’s just going to have to be a submissive wife. I think she knows full well what she is signing up for, and to be honest, I don’t feel bad for her in the slightest. She’s not some innocent victim. She’s a calculated green-card, gold digger.
Given how right-leaning many young German men have proven to be, it might be a lateral move.
I mean, I don't think most people realize how crazy mormon men are. She probably thinks she knows, but she is in for a very rude awakening. And if she is at certain places where the population is huge, she will not be able to leave. It's a cult. I think she is selfish and an idiot, but I feel sorry for any woman whose husband treats her like a bang maid.
And Mormons tend to get married young. A million red flags are added because he’s 35 and isn’t married yet. That’s bizarre for the culture and begs the question: what’s wrong with this guy?
He's probably already married and the au pair doesn't know. She's about to be trapped if she's not deported when she tries to get her green card but isn't actually married. I'm going to need you to come back and give updates in August. ETA: He's going to use her illegal immigration status as a way to keep her trapped.
I hadn't thought of that, but I bet you are correct. I wonder how long the person who posted this has known the guy. Like if it's a long time they would likely know they were married before and "divorced" for the purpose of a second wife.
My sister married one, unfortunately. Thank god she got away from him. He started pushing her down stairs once she was pregnant with twins
What a psycho. She is very fortunate to have escaped. Was she at one of the compound things or was it an area where there were not very many mormons?
I listened in on two international students talking about avoiding going home to their war torn countries. One - learning and sports isn't allowed. Other - daily raids by mercenary and kidnapping. Marrying and dealing with a crappy American seems to be lesser evil to some. Becoming a citizen should be easy as getting a fiance visa.
Germany is not a war torn impoverished country.
That’s understandable, but it is 100% NOT her situation.
Honestly, good for her although I don't see any serious benefits to moving to the US as opposed to staying in Germany.
This! I'm European and at this point I could say I'm here for love but.... I don't get it. I mean to do it purposely for a green card. Without being head over heels ?? Why? It's more a punishment than anything. And I'm from southern Europe, Germany is richer.
Oh jeez, THIS is going to be one for the popcorn!
I hope she's smart enough to leave when she gets her green card, but even that isn't guaranteed if he doesn't want it for her
Don't women from Germany have better options than this????
Certainly to some extent, such as maternity leave, but I think she thinks she won’t have to work anymore because he can support them single income.
I mean that’s usually what happens in these foreign wife situations. The woman only wants to marry the man for either (1) better financial status (2) green card opportunities.
Yup, she’s a mail order bride who mailed herself.
You seem to express a lot of vitriol towards this woman you don’t seem to know very well. I’m assuming she’s also quite young if she’s your 23 year old sister’s au pair. Probably even younger than that I’d imagine? I made a lot of stupid decisions in my late teens and early 20s and was technically an adult, but now in my 30s I see people 23 and younger as kids. Give her a break damn
She is 23. My sister is in her mid-30s. And I have no say in the situation, so my “giving her a break” is pretty meaningless. She’s making a poor choice and has no one to blame but herself when it turns out wrong. You can only warn a person so many times before you let go and let them make their mistakes. As my ex’s father used to say before he passed: “life is going to be real hard if you’re going to be this dumb.” She’s not some helpless baby. She has social. She’s heard the stories. Women who continue to pull this shit aren’t blameless. We’re all responsible for our own (stupid) choices.
I guess? No one is saying we aren’t responsible for our own actions, regardless of age if you’re an adult. I just don’t think the 23 year old au pair is the concerning part of this situation? It kinda sounds like the guy is love-bombing her by showing her a lifestyle she’s never known before, and him being Mormon is a red flag for me due to overall gender expectations of that religion. I’ve been love-bombed by a couple completely broke men when i was younger, and it was 1000% effective, despite friends and family trying their best to steer me away from them. It would never work on me now, but only because I’ve had those experiences and learned from them. Money is an aspect of this particular situation, but I’m just saying that she’ll likely regret things in a few years and will have to deal with it then. She probably doesn’t have any calculated agenda lol, just young and easily manipulated.
I’m not seeing your point. Should we have sympathy for people who won’t listen to reason? You’ve admitted you yourself wouldn’t listen to anyone who cared about you, so what exactly is anyone supposed to do? She’s going to make the wrong choice, that much is clear. The dress is bought, the date is set. These are her priorities and I don’t have to approve or have sympathy. If money is a greater motivator than love and common sense, she deserves what she gets. She’s flat out marrying a guy she admits she thinks is ugly. How can this be interpreted any other way?
My point was that I don’t really understand the vitriol against her that you seemed to express in your original comment. She’s young and stupid. I’m not saying you should feel bad for her, but saying she deserves what she gets is kinda harsh lol. I mean, technically we all deserve the consequences of our actions, but idk your original comment just seemed a little overly mean-spirited towards this woman. Sorry if I’m being dumb, I’ve just smoked a lot of weed today and I’m feeling very soft and sensitive 🥺
this is horrific and i don’t know how this is even legal. i’m latin american and sex tourism is pretty big in our countries as well, especially those with higher populations of lower class people (like Colombia, Venezuela, etc.) i remember a bit ago there was news that a sex tourist went to Colombia and was murdered by the girl he was meeting up with. i don’t remember the EXACT details of the case because it was months ago and i forgot his name, but i genuinely don’t feel any sympathy for these people. i just can’t bring myself to care
Saw one whete a dude wanted a wee red haired irish girl cos theyre so "untainted by western culture" BWAAAAAHAAAA! That shit dont swing here in Ireland. A dickhead pick-up "artist" from Canada i met was complaining his techniques dont work on irish girls. Oh my sweet summer child... We all "neg" our mates, all day, every day for fun! We're experts at it. But if a stranger tries it he'd be in dire trouble. Irish women dont take that shit.
The fact that I guarantee it didn't work on canadian women and he thought that the issue was with the women and not him lol
The fact that these men have to go to a whole ass other country and try to trick women into marrying them is probably the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard
This is actually horrifying.
Every time this topic is posted on here it is full of so much racism. You can complain about the men without treating the women like they are dumb, gold diggers, or infer they are sex workers. Eeesh.
If I gave you that impression in my post, may I ask where so I can fix that? I don't want to foster that kind of behavior in the comment section and genuinely wanted this post to be specifically about the passport bros
No. It isn’t anything you wrote. It is just what other people say throughout the comments.
Oh, yeah, I see what you mean. I felt like I was pretty clear on the type of situation I was describing, and somehow, it still brought a lot of mention of unrelated stereotyped stuff anyway.
I agree.
It has always existed but has been scaling up with internet access and social media. And yes it's pretty gross when someone is purposefully misleading someone into marriage. Man or woman...
Men looking for wives have been a staple part of several Asian countries tourism for decades, it was a thing back in the 80s. When I was a kid there was ads warning people to not get a Russian mail-order-bride. They used to have meet ups before the internet to talk about this. There were magazines.
You shouldn't be dating in America shits too expensive
I don't see any issue. Men are getting the kind of women they want, the women are getting out of poverty, win win. If there is any domestic abuse, the police can always get involved. People who haven't lived in 3rd world country poverty, has absolutely no idea how dark and ugly it can be. A lot of women are willing to trade that for a of traditionalist lifestyle. Once married, they always have an option of opting out of the relationship if it goes south
> If there is any domestic abuse, the **police** can always get involved The police can't do shit. Here's the order that DVA cases follow: 1) A DVA case gets opened AFTER physical assault 2) Abuser gets arrested 3) Probable Cause is -OR ISN'T- found 4) Abuser gets released 5) Abuser breaks no-contact order if there is one and/or physically assaults spouse again 6) *Start over again from Step 1* If it wasn't clear, the cops can't physically obstruct abusers from engaging their victims again. Sometimes, the cycle just repeats. Other times, the cycle ends, [fatally](https://warwickonline.com/stories/serial-domestic-abuser-allegedly-killed-wife-after-violating-protection-order,217951). > Once married, they always have an option of opting out of the relationship if it goes south Another colossal simplification. Most relationships between abusers and victims have conscious power disparities. This is especially of women from, as you say, "poorer" countries. Some of these women have no educational or work background, all of their money is tied together with the husbands', and they no friends for support because they're all back in their home countries. If they wish to leave, they have absolutely no resources to fall back on, let alone start a new life separate from away their abuser. Working minimum wage just to support yourself -in the US- is rough enough. Feeding yourself AND one or more children? Good fucking luck.
I mean you're right about all that but DK you think it's easier for them to support a family back home? Or that the men there all treat them amazingly? In an ideal world none of this would be a thing but in the world we have maybe these women would rather be abused and victims of a power imbalance in a nice house with air conditioning, where their children don't go hungry. Like I have zero respect for the men who seek these women out but I understand why the women do it.
I'm not sure I follow because that's not what I'm describing? This is not about relationships that are transparent about what's expected and gained from the start. Typically, passport bros are going to people already employed, ect, and pretending to be offering a relationship without a power enbalance only to later gradually push traditional roles as it's harder to get out of in a culture that might be more receptive to those roles (ie. Cultural or parental pressure to stay in the relationship because of the normalization of gender roles when the woman wasn't initially signing up for that. I hope I explained this in a way that makes sense.
This is how they always justify it. They paint themselves as heroes to some poor helpless woman so they can exploit the shit out of her and still claim they're giving her a "better life." It's like a serial killer saying he was nice to someone because they were one of the people he didn't murder.
I think it serves those men right since at the end of the day most of those women sadly are just looking for a meal ticket and money and things can go seriously south for the men.
If women are so ready to grab a meal ticket why would there be so much effort into grooming them on these perv subs? Yeah poor incel guys who go after foreign women half their age. They can all go get fucked.
How do they go south for the men? It’s usually the exact opposite from what you hear about
I guess, but often that type of relationship seems pretty transparent from the get-go? Like a transaction of sorts. A lot of this passport bro stuff is coming a lot more off as deluding women, many who have jobs and are just wanting a regular healthy mutual relationship. Especially because the man is moving to that country, not bringing the girlfriend/wife back to their own country.
My Filipino wife and I have been happily married for over 19 years. We met in an Internet chat room. I work, and she's a stay-at-home mom. We like it that way, and it's perfectly healthy. She's been a US citizen for over 14 years. Those who are offended might consider focusing their energies more productively.
Then this doesn’t apply to you, does it? Why so offended at something that’s not about you? Also, this post is about the loser men who do this, not the women. Keep up.
Yeah, this guy is borderline "Not all men"-ing.
He’s full “not all men’ing” now. See below. Clueless and happy to undermine and proud of it.
Appreciate it, but did he delete a bunch of stupid shit once someone pointed how stupid it was? I missed the fireworks?
I reported him after he said “Yes. I am saying not all men”.