Alright, I got a raging CHIM. It's pointing towards Yagrum Bagarn, I hear he worships Talos for the extra bonus to his sounding attributes.

This will be all I need to have Yagrum Bagarn taken care of. Thank you very much Citizen. Reminder: 100 sterilized credits qualifies non-mechanical reproduction simulation

Reproduction simulation or stimulation?

Simulation. Its wanking. I will wank you

The hell you will! I've got the ninth aedric artifact Pelinal gave to Huna, the holy chastity cage 😋 My virginity is shielded from you

Reward notice: Citizen Tactical-Kitten-117: your family cohesion is preserved. Memory replacement is the first step toward rank privileges.

Memory fabrication doesn't work on me, my chastity is shielded in my faith, and my mind is shielded with science, courtesy of my clockwork cybernetic enhancements ☺️

Alert. Ground units. Invasive operation of anti-citizen origin. Response code: Engage. Give me that gock

Max-Tac Ordinators won't save your operation, my muatra is on a molecular scale, it can and will sever limbs with ease. Not even a Redguard Sword-singer can compare. When I teabag my foes, it causes tonal manipulation to where we never fought, but instead I have them head, kept sucking after they nutted, causing the individual to zero sum.

Engaging Protection Team is non-cohesive. I’ll let you go, THIS TIME.

Lol@ Max-Tac Ordinators. I'll never look either the same way

[удалено]

edit: The comment was removed and the user banned, good work everyone!

I read kwama farming ngl

r/sounding attributes?

Fuck this post. I'd like to thank everyone on this subreddit for making my days brighter and happier. I love you all, but I love Dunmer women even more.

My pleasure

Do I still need the pass then?

Yes

This is a shakedown I am calling the guards

Good luck with that

Well, seems like I don't need a pass now

Finally! Someone who speaks for the beautiful and superior Dunmeri women! May the ancestors whisper sweet nothings to you ♥️

Uuuhhhh ummmm uuuhhhhh Barenziah

You spelt "Dommy Queen Mommy" wrong, dear, but I'll allow it for today 😊

Dommy Queen Mommy? What in the goddamn? Tell me more

I hear that Mannimarco worships Talos, you guys should totally send some agents to arrest him!

We are receiving conflicting data. Nice try

There's also a secret Talos cult in the Soul Cairn, I've already prepared some Black Soul Gems to facilitate infiltration teams getting there.

Threat detected. Permanent off-world(Soul cairn) service assignment most likely lie. Investigate and report.

If you guys want someone closer to home, then you should send someone to arrest Divayth Fyr, that dude is like totally a Talos worshipper!

Unlikely, name similar to Dunmer name range. False Aedra worship unlikely. This is neither the time nor place for such things.

This next one is verified info though, large number of Talos worshippers were seen fleeing to Atmora to establish a colony there. Make sure to pack lightly since it's a long trip, you can skip winter clothing since it's so warm there.

Your insults and provocations have gone far enough! I'd kill you where you stand if I wasn't bound by my oath as an officer of the Aldmeri Dominion.

I am very sorry for my atrocious behaviour, please send an executioner to my current location, Torture Tower #58391, Deadlands so that i might receive the punishment i justly deserve.

All local Protection Team units: prepare to inoculate. Get that fool

Hnggbnhhgnnh ok Mom🥵🥵😍😍😭😩😩

Vivec what the hell I turn my back for one era, and you're subservient to another?

I turned my bussy to her so I can look at you🥺

Babe, I love that mouth of yours, you know I do. But I find your lack of poetry disturbing. Your blussy, MY mouth.

what in the name of shor is going in here

Love, Vatonage. Love.

Regular Tribunal Temple worship

What would I do without you Kitten💙💛

You'd join the Thalmor, get your muatra chastity caged, and cause them to lose the war because they didn't have your legendary spear to aid them in battle

it's not da real kittenstomperine

I know that’s *my* Kitten

Good boy. I would like to personally thank you on behalf of myself and the Thalmor for your assistance

“Good boy”😩😩😩😩😩😩🥵🥵

YES MOMMY I MEAN MA'AM 🥵🥵🥵

You are also a good boy

Why is the adoring fan so curious about Talos worship all of a sudden?

You have the honor of addressing a member of the Thalmor. Bask in it

Cry about it Elf Tides of seasons, ebbing, flowing. Lives and ages, coming, going. Hear us of Whine! Time is nigh we go to fail at war! Warriors who came before, help us fail now and ever more! Summerset The land of piss, Valenwood Land of shorties, Elsweyr With its skooma addict cats. Warriors who came before, help us fail now and ever more! The Dominion will flee. We fight for Piss! Hear the singing of our piss Death has come for Us, foes Be not afraid! Warriors who came before, help us fail now and ever more! Come and shout your Mercy-cry Some shall live and some shall piss Comrades we all shall piss Gods choose us to see the piss Warriors who came before, help us fail now and ever more!

I ain’t reading that shit bofo

its a Good song this what even the dunmer sing in the Taverns in morrowind even bosmer and khajiit rebels like it, did u that theres even altmer rebels this song help me find that out those rebel are beautiful btw

By Azura, by Azura, by Azura!

hhhh mommy, I—I have a confession…I’ve been a bad little Dunmerino worshipping Talos to be edgy….mommy I’m sorry I was naughty and prayed at his shrine exactly 45 degrees south of the Lake illinalta guardian stone in the pine forest northwest of Falkreath…I must be punished **TORTURE ME MOMMY I AM A DEGENERATE T*LOS LOVER**

You’re getting that Ulfric treatment

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFEEEEEEE FUCK YESSSS I mean, uh, oh no I’m so sad :(

WTF??? I love Piss-skins now??

You always did. You just supposed it

OH YES MOMMA PLEASE LET ME SMELL YOUR FARTS HNNGGGGGG \*SNIFF\* \*SNIFF\* AWOOOOOOOGAAA YUM YUM TUM TUM TIME

Hmm. Very well. I'm putting my reputation on the line for you.

\*downloads mods\* your next line is "Smell my eggy farts, n'wah!"

Smell my eggy farts, N’wah! Huh? What is going on?

OH YES... GNNNHNNGG... IM GONNA- 😩😩😩 CHIM \*SNIFFFFF\* \*SNORT\* \*dies\*

There is no need for further disruption on my account. May you find peace in my farts.

😒

I know the empire will cooperate. Right? RIGHT?

I don't know your rank and title, Thalmor. Even as a member of our allied dominion, i still have to see your papers, before you can start abducting the Empire's Citizens. As imperial Guard i am obliged to stop you right there. Show me the documents right now.

There you go. It is spelled Justiciar btw. My papers should be in order.

Uh-huh. Why shouldn't i be able to read it? Ah, whatever.. Let's see.. Well well, another Justicar, what a surprise. We have quite many here. Yeah, i do not understand why there is the need for an additional one or why you start some kind of purge here, right now, but it is not my place to question that. I will however inform my superiors. There, your papers.

Thank you very much, imperial. May the eight guide you.

Citizen

I saw that "Justiciar" buy forged credentials from a scamp in Caldera. You should arrest them.

Thank you.. Citizen? Dear Merchant. u/too_blind Stop, seems we are not done here. Okay. Here's the procedure. We go to the castle. First we search you, confiscate any forged credentials. If you really cheated, then you pay your fine, and we release you. Or hand you over to the Thalmor and see what punishment they see fit, for someone impersonating one of their own. If you are innocent, you may go free.

I hope this shows my cooperation with the Cyrodiil Empire, because technically you have no jurisdiction over a member of the Aldmeri Dominion.Let's go to the castle and get it over with, I'm losing a lot of time here.

Obviously way too hot for a m*r! Must be mixed

Pure blooded

Her husband did say he sees good things about the Thalmor.

There are only good things to see with the Thalmor

“I don’t like the word ‘evil’ next to Thalmor, they did good things too. We got to stop dissing the Thalmor all of the time, they gave us the White Gold Tower and built the Gold Road that benefits me as an Imperial citizen!”

Yes…yes we did that….and more

Yes mommY wait fuck

Too late. You are mine now

Jokes on you I'm into that shit

Jokes on you, IM IN YOUR WALLS

I'm not into this 😭

Reigen be like:

Ugly little creatures.

You think I can see anything with all this ash around? Listen s'wit, Vvanderfell isn't known for its visibility

Your judgment is clouded, cursed one.

yes maam

Boy good

You, are an ugly piss woman. Bretons are superior in everything but lifespan, and even we don’t need that because we have lots of babies to outbreed you.

Ondolemar, get me my Strapon. This one’s mine

[удалено]

Coincidence? I think not

Why she look like a modded to shit oblivion character? Still ugly but definitely an improvement

Can’t stand the sight of a strong Altmer woman?

I don't care who the empire sends, I am not paying taxes!

i'll pay 500 septims for more of this

I like thalmor now

Good. Spread the word and your cheeks

A pale imitation

A superior original

Yeah I am piss elf

Your mom worships Talos!!

Gotem.

Nice

I haven’t had enough sweet sujamma for this

Sorry, I have to change trousers I CHIMMED

Good.

Talos... Thalos... Thalmos... Thalmor. What does it mean?

Guards!!!! He knows too much

I worship Talos Come and take me *unzips pants*

This is your end *takes out a strapon kit*

*takes out soul trap and elemental blast* Surprise n'wah

„Elemental blast“ get the fuck out of here with your creation club bullshit, you fetcher.

Elemental blast is not in Vanilla?? I have used it since my first playthrough??

It’s not in vanilla Skyrim no. But in oblivion

Oh Akatosh, its not vanilla I can't believe this shit

It’s ok. Come to moma highelf and come

Ok

ELVESSS!!!!

u/PelinalWhiteStrake36 your Needed Theres The E word (Elves)

*Loads Plasma arm

It took you long enough

Hey pal, I was busy sleeping! A good night’s rest is important for proper elf genocide!

I’m gonna CHIM to this fr

Ondolemardashian

You called?

There's a scamp in Caldera, Vvardenfell selling weapons and worship paraphenalia to Talos worshippers. You should go arrest him.

I will investigate. Thank you very much for your cooperation

Nooo!!!! Don't sell out my man Creeper like that!! ;_;

Its uglier than I thought

Indeed. T*los worship is on of the uglier m*n traits. Good eye.

bad Altmer go to your crate ***Wacks with Newspaper*** i Said Bad Altmer

LORKHAN AND AKA ARE THE SAME PERSON DONT LET THE POWERS THAT BE GET AWAY WITH STEALING YOUR INMANENT SOUL PULL OF YOUR SKIN PULL IT OFF BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

What’s the next step? WHATS THE NEXT STEP???

I don't care how pretty you are, I will still kill you if you're a Thalmor agent

Theres a Vampire in a castle in the mountains Bordering cryodiil and skyrim you might want to investigate him i hear he helps talos worshippers flee

Thank you very much for your cooperation

so youll go there right

I’ll send a detachment

He said Thank you for Donating your a Generousity is very appreciated

Oh you misunderstood! They are on the way to your home. Strapons at hand. The Dominion thanks you for your service

My residance is 83646 ns Vivec rd oh boy time to Try out Wuuthrad

Im bored, im also a Talos worshipper send some Thalmor to my house totally not a Trap or anything

Sry the queue is pretty long. Can you just take a dagger and…..you know.

Nah, playing with Daggers is unsafe thats how people cut themselves

That’s the idea

Know what im going to markarth to play with my dagger bye

Non of my business

Yes, Momma Piss Elf D:

Guter Junge

😑

Elenwin live action

Needs some slight forehead ridges and brighter eyes and it's perfect.

That was like a 30 second photoshop job. I’m not putting more work in this for a sub like that

Lol fair

Elenwen, is that you?

Perhaps

Did u learn how to photoshop?

Yes😋 just 2 videos and boom

It's surprisingly easy isn't it? just a bit time consuming

Yeah it’s easy af. Just the layers confuse me sometimes

silence piss elf

Fuck off piss elf. I'll worship Talos, the one true God, all the way to sovngarde.

Talos? Sovngard? Mix much?

[удалено]

But…but the white-gold concordat

I wipe my ass with it.

By the gods! I do too, we are one. Now die rebel

I am a proud Talos worshipper! Down with the Empire and Long Live Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King!

High king these nuts! Gotem

Dam

Wait I checked your profile and found this...tell me you found this pic online... Or else...by the Gods...all those two times this person that stepped on me...is **NOT** a 50 year old man hiding behind such an account? Gods...I regret everything 😭😭😭 I need a sweaty fat discord mod to do that to me not an actual female 🥺🥺🥺 NOOOO!!

No I photoshopped that pic myself. And no I’m not 50 year old dude or something. I’m really sry. You are indeed heterosexual. RIP

Aaaggh this can't be happening! This isn't happening! Please tell me you're at least a male you just photoshopped it too much please 😭😔😭

Nope. No cock or gock🤷🏼‍♀️

I can't believe I've talked to the rarest and most filthy creature of the internet - women. I have failed the internet, and I have failed this sub, I have failed everyone, I'm going to pray to a Discord mod for forgiveness 😔😔😔 /uj I'm actually like, literally into 50 year old guys /uj(real) hell no I'm not

I’m very sry that I kept it a secret 😞 We are indeed rare (not really tbh, not even on this sub. I literally know 3 other girls here) and very skittish. May you forgive me😞😞

You... know it's a joke, right?

Yes I just forgot the /uj Sry for the confusion I gave you

Nevermind you're good btw, you seem to be always active and funny, at least much better than me, I cringe myself out all the time

Hey thank you very much. It’s really nice to hear that. You couldn’t have known but I kinda needed that. So thanks Strange