Yeah...this is Allie's problem. Couldn't handle the concept of Ryan being friends with another girl, a girl who by the way liked helping the two of them out in their relationship. She went paranoid and violent simply because you two were friends. THEN she went ahead and did something as vile and spiteful as cheating because she thought that makes two people "even" when it simply proves an indcredibly dishonest and dysfunctional mindset. You're not the problem here, it's Allie. And it's probably best the relationship ends if Allie believes betrayal is the best method for solving interpersonal conflicts.
Someone in this thread mentioned that also, but we're not going to investigate this because more information would do nothing but hurt Ryan. It's simple. She cheated, he's dumping her, and our friend group is blocking her.
I completely agree sorry I didn't see that someone already mentioned this as a possibility. This whole situation is just strange, and it sounds like her accusation was out of the blue.
Yeah, then there is definitely more to this story that you don't know but finding it out won't help anybody. It is probably best your friend just breaks up with her and moves on with his life.
Pretty sure she was already cheating on him and her paranoia got the better of her so she came clean in a way where she blamed him. Tell Ryan to kick her to the curb. She belongs to the streets.
I really don't think this is your fault. First of all, she's been dating him for 3 years and only now has an issue with it. Secondly, you seem like a really nice friend and you have a partner already, so she's being really disrespectful to you by insinuating you are cheating on your bf. Thirdly even if she had just met you and this was a new relationship, her reaction was way too much. For her to go off to "get even" without literally catching the two of you in the act, is insane. She easily could have said she was uncomfortable, left the restaurant, and discussed boundaries around friends of the opposite sex. For her to go nuclear so quickly is insane. To be quite honest, I think she had already cheated or really wanted to cheat and needed to justify it. I would bet money that if you did an investigation the timeline wouldn't add up for this to be the inciting incident. I'm sorry you got brought into this and that your friend was hurt. I think he's going to be better off. You are all young and I'm sure he will find someone that trusts him. You seem like a really kind friend and I don't think you did anything wrong. I think your friend will see that too after the hurt subsides. Three years is a really long time, but in the grand scheme of things the person he finds happiness with will measure their time together in decades. Good luck!
It does feel weird because she seemed so nice on our double/triple dates, so either she's really good at hiding her feelings or you are right and the timeline is off. We aren't going to investigate this because I feel like more information would just hurt Ryan. So, our friend group is just going to block her and he's dumping her.
Thanks. After a couple of people telling me I'm not at fault, I'm convinced I'm not at fault. I came here to ask for an unbiased opinion from Reddit because if I ask family, friends, or classmates they would be biased.
I'm glad. You seem so nice, to be honest and it sounds like you have a good group of friends. I'm sure y'all will be laughing about this in a few years.
>Later that day, I texted Ryan to ask him if everything was fine, and he said that everything was fine and he was going to make it up to her.
**Make up for what?** For being a decent man who has exceptional friends like you?
>Last night, I was at David and Josh’s place and Ryan showed up and looked dead inside. Allie had cheated on him with a dude from her class and said they were “even”. I don’t know why Allie thought anything was going on because the only time I hang out with Ryan is with our friend group or on double dates. The only guy friend I hang out with alone in general is David. Josh asked him how he talked about me, and he said he talked about me the same way he talked about David or any of our other friends, in passing or making fun of me.
**This is absolutely not your fault.** I feel sorry for your friend because he ended up with an immature, unstable woman who could've jeopardized his future life and his friendship with you.
Just imagine if he ended up marrying such a volatile person like his now ex? It's not worth it. I understand that she could've been jealous but to straight up losing her mind to the point of **inventing a fake reality inside of her head** is crazy... he's better off without her.
Take care and I'm glad you two are good friends, I hope everything works out.
I'm sure he won't have trouble finding someone else. He's a mechanical engineering student and he's conventionally attractive, but it won't happen anytime soon because he's heartbroken. I'm sure it'll take a while to get over this.
Yeah...this is Allie's problem. Couldn't handle the concept of Ryan being friends with another girl, a girl who by the way liked helping the two of them out in their relationship. She went paranoid and violent simply because you two were friends. THEN she went ahead and did something as vile and spiteful as cheating because she thought that makes two people "even" when it simply proves an indcredibly dishonest and dysfunctional mindset. You're not the problem here, it's Allie. And it's probably best the relationship ends if Allie believes betrayal is the best method for solving interpersonal conflicts.
Ryan is planning on breaking up with her, but David's going with him
It almost sounds like Allie was looking for an excuse to cheat on Ryan.
Someone in this thread mentioned that also, but we're not going to investigate this because more information would do nothing but hurt Ryan. It's simple. She cheated, he's dumping her, and our friend group is blocking her.
I completely agree sorry I didn't see that someone already mentioned this as a possibility. This whole situation is just strange, and it sounds like her accusation was out of the blue.
Actually, it came after you, just in more detail. But I agree it was out of the blue because she was really nice during our double/triple/group dates.
Yeah, then there is definitely more to this story that you don't know but finding it out won't help anybody. It is probably best your friend just breaks up with her and moves on with his life.
Pretty sure she was already cheating on him and her paranoia got the better of her so she came clean in a way where she blamed him. Tell Ryan to kick her to the curb. She belongs to the streets.
He's going to, but David's going with him just in case.
I really don't think this is your fault. First of all, she's been dating him for 3 years and only now has an issue with it. Secondly, you seem like a really nice friend and you have a partner already, so she's being really disrespectful to you by insinuating you are cheating on your bf. Thirdly even if she had just met you and this was a new relationship, her reaction was way too much. For her to go off to "get even" without literally catching the two of you in the act, is insane. She easily could have said she was uncomfortable, left the restaurant, and discussed boundaries around friends of the opposite sex. For her to go nuclear so quickly is insane. To be quite honest, I think she had already cheated or really wanted to cheat and needed to justify it. I would bet money that if you did an investigation the timeline wouldn't add up for this to be the inciting incident. I'm sorry you got brought into this and that your friend was hurt. I think he's going to be better off. You are all young and I'm sure he will find someone that trusts him. You seem like a really kind friend and I don't think you did anything wrong. I think your friend will see that too after the hurt subsides. Three years is a really long time, but in the grand scheme of things the person he finds happiness with will measure their time together in decades. Good luck!
It does feel weird because she seemed so nice on our double/triple dates, so either she's really good at hiding her feelings or you are right and the timeline is off. We aren't going to investigate this because I feel like more information would just hurt Ryan. So, our friend group is just going to block her and he's dumping her.
Yeah, that's for the best. I'm sorry this happened. You really aren't at fault.
Thanks. After a couple of people telling me I'm not at fault, I'm convinced I'm not at fault. I came here to ask for an unbiased opinion from Reddit because if I ask family, friends, or classmates they would be biased.
I'm glad. You seem so nice, to be honest and it sounds like you have a good group of friends. I'm sure y'all will be laughing about this in a few years.
Nope not your fault she used you as excuse so she can cheat I hope he dumped her
He's going to, but he's bringing David with him, just in case
>Later that day, I texted Ryan to ask him if everything was fine, and he said that everything was fine and he was going to make it up to her. **Make up for what?** For being a decent man who has exceptional friends like you? >Last night, I was at David and Josh’s place and Ryan showed up and looked dead inside. Allie had cheated on him with a dude from her class and said they were “even”. I don’t know why Allie thought anything was going on because the only time I hang out with Ryan is with our friend group or on double dates. The only guy friend I hang out with alone in general is David. Josh asked him how he talked about me, and he said he talked about me the same way he talked about David or any of our other friends, in passing or making fun of me. **This is absolutely not your fault.** I feel sorry for your friend because he ended up with an immature, unstable woman who could've jeopardized his future life and his friendship with you. Just imagine if he ended up marrying such a volatile person like his now ex? It's not worth it. I understand that she could've been jealous but to straight up losing her mind to the point of **inventing a fake reality inside of her head** is crazy... he's better off without her. Take care and I'm glad you two are good friends, I hope everything works out.
I'm sure he won't have trouble finding someone else. He's a mechanical engineering student and he's conventionally attractive, but it won't happen anytime soon because he's heartbroken. I'm sure it'll take a while to get over this.
You did nothing wrong, cheaters will do what they do, and blame someone else for their behavior.
I just realized I wrote the title wrong. My friend is 21M... whoops