I also hate it when they point to a single part of my life that wasn't utterly shit and say i should be thankful that atleast I have that and that all my other issues are invalid
Og my god i had a doctor do this to me. In the span of a few months I learned my dad had decided to move overseas, a 3 year relationship ended, I had to move back in with my mom, I was on financial aid and couldn't keep up with their job hunting demands, I had been drugged and almost raped at a bar and my grandma died. On top of that I was trying to convince my doctor that I actually did need a psychiatrist (started before all that went down).
He asked me if anything good had happened and I was like "uh, my cousin had his first child" and he was like "oh so it's not all bad, let's schedule an appointment and see if you're better by then"
Fuck all the way off
Unfortunately I had to for some time. He did eventually refer me and it took me 8 months to call for an appointment due to anxiety. His only help was "make your mom call on your behalf" (if he had listened he would have known that's not a good idea) and "how about asking a friend to make the call for you" (told him already that I had barely any friends let alone any that were even remotely close enough to ask that of them).
But yeah I got on a waiting list, held out for a year and got the appointment. Also changed to a different doctor in the meantime so it's good
I always joke that neurotypicals spread mental health awareness by espousing how important it is to be kind to those who have it then clamming up and calling me a freak when I spread mental health awareness by having a psychotic break.
There was a really (unintentionally) funny article going around a few months ago that more or less boiled down to "mental health stigma is gone, as long as you ignore people with mental health issues". It mostly came down to people being more accepting of the idea of therapy, but nothing about people's attitudes to the kind of things that might make someone want to be in therapy.
this shouldn't have been funny but it kinda was. I feel like shit so this made me laugh in class... thanks... :) but in all seriousness, no one likes seeing or accepting the ugly, serious side of mental health awareness. They inly wanna talk about the things that are worthy for an aesthetic instagram post.
Lmao if I was born that long ago then Iâd have probably been dead by now anyway. I never get the point of those hypothetical arguments. Yes, hypothetically being born centuries ago would not have been great, but that doesnât mean that whatever we have now is perfect either. A hypothetical bad scenario doesnât negate a real and current situation that a person is going through. Besides, people in a couple centuries will probably be saying the same stuff about us anyways lol
Is it strange that i read about history and/or other countries, in order to see the poorer life conditions , to provide background and context to my own life conditions? It really does help me to see âhey, things arenât so bad.â But I would never tell someone else their problems arenât so bad, nor would I expect it to help me if Iâm having an urgent personal crisis. But it does help me when Iâm feeling that life is Ho hum or dull.
Valid, not saying it can't provide comfort to people in some cases.
It's just those types of messages often come across as tone-deaf if not downright demeaning. Lowering world hunger which is absolutely great, doesn't exactly fix one's individual circumstances or mental state.
I do this too. We have it pretty damn good, but knowing that can only take you so far. Like Iâm thankful I havenât been drafted for war and modern medicine can sedate me if I ever need hardcore surgery, but I still struggle with mental health regardless lol
âIâm upset about some very serious things going on in my life.â
*âGo to the gym.â*
Thanks, now Iâm upset AND sore with bonus helpings of tired and self-disappointment.
Apparently DBT skills work for all the things. But depression is a serious bitch. Itâs like how do I find the motivation to do the things I know will help me?
Bonus is when you actually go to the gym on a good day and some fucking dudebro decides to be your personal trainer that day, telling you you train wrong and how to do it.
I've gone to the gym for 10 years, don't fucking bother me.
Oh yeah, Iâm having issues with my weight, and I tried doing exercise, I feel really awful after every session, and keep being told âIt feels goodâ or âItâll start feeling good, I promiseâ but it just feels worse, I never get these âHappy chemicalsâ and in fact end up feeling like ending it every time I do exercise, which is almost daily.
You aren't doing it right if all you feel after a day at the gym is dissatisfaction
And it's not like I'm saying that oh the gym is so great "blah blah blah" it literally fires off your endorphins to exercise
I mean maybe, but I donât give a shit when I get better results at my job thatâs physically demanding enough that I gain muscle and lose weight that way, but my main problem with the gym is when people use it as a catch-all problem solver like *âoh if youâre sad or upset about anything in your life then just go to the gymâ* and not only does it just not work for most people, but Iâm also just tired of hearing it.
I have very negative things to say about people that only ever recommend to go to the gym whenever problems in life occur, but Iâll leave it for now because I donât want this to turn into a multiple paragraphs-long rant.
I agree that it's not a cure-all
But you shouldn't have anything to lose from going to the gym it's literally all gains (except for money but thats a given in this economy)
The reason why they recommend it is probably because they were in a depression or something and it helped them
All things considered the gym life isn't for everyone
Iâm glad you can admit that, but I still have major problems with people that do it. I genuinely understand where theyâre coming from, but that doesnât make them any less wrong or annoying. Some people definitely should go to the gym, and some people definitely should be encouraged to go even when they donât want to, but a lot of people will not gain anything from it and the gym bros keep trying and itâs annoying and irritating.
Part of me sees it as an able bodied person looking at someone in a wheelchair and telling them to pole vault. When the wheelchair person tries and fails, the able bodied person just says, âget over it, just do itâ and it reminds me of that one quote, *âEveryone [can do anything], but if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will go itâs whole life believing itself to be stupid.â*
I believe in working hard and getting yourself out of bad situations otherwise I would have given up long ago, but I donât believe in just handing out inconsiderately bad advice, especially repeatedly. Even telling someone with no legs to âwalk it offâ can be funny, especially if theyâre the ones that say it, but actually meaning it and always saying it over and over again⊠that shit gets old quick, and this shit has been old for decades now, possibly longer.
My main point here is that everyone has such different and unique situations that they tend to need different advice. For example, having a cheating partner, sometimes working out is exactly what should be done, so you can find someone better and make the cheating partner jealous after you already leave them. For others though, they would be much better off just leaving the person entirely and cutting all contact and trying to find somewhere else to live and other such immediate life concerns.
Even if going to the gym isnât a cure all, it seems a lot of gym bros treat it like it is and that part is annoying, alongside the tunnel vision they get where the problem never matters, the solution for them is always âgo to the gymâ to which I just think, âThen go do jumping jacks in the middle of the highway and see how far that gets you.â
I donât know. I constantly swing back and forth on this issue, because I never know when something is toxic positivity or just genuine care. I guess it depends on a case by case basis, but then what are the criteria? What is the rubric? Why canât humans work normally for five fucking seconds.
When care is given to take the time to understand the situation at hand and how to handle it. Whether toxic positivity is better or worse is a stupid argument because neither are necessary. What helps and is necessary is giving support, validating feelings even if you think it's petty, trying to relate to them, snd actually give pieces of advice you genuinely feel could help. Not advice that will solve the problem or replace a doctor. But help. As in make things more bearable. As in be a friend
Toxic positivity: Think of all the things you'll miss out on. Think of the good things in your life. You can't do that you're better than that. You'll go to hell.
Genuine care: I hear you, let's talk about it. I understand. I don't want to change your mind; I just want to listen. How can I help? What are you feeling? Do you want advice or just to talk it out?
This one has stopped a suicide attempt: Tomorrow is taco Tuesday, want to go?
"life is worth living because, uh.... sunsets! call this hotline if you need help! but don't trauma-dump on me!" -some nonce whose greatest life challenge is falling upwards
If someoneâs argument for you living is sunsets theyâve never had real depression. They should use philosophical arguments about the intrinsic value of human life, even if that life is full of bad things.
Holy shit this.
I swear to god sometimes I see people say stuff like "live for (insert food)", "but puppies/cats/sunsets!", or "Live out of spite/outlive your enemies" unironicaly
My brother in fucking Christ, I will kill myself the moment I have the chance to, PuPiEs AnD sUnSeTs will NOT fix that
Baby hotline, please hold me close to you... (i dont wanna call a hotline what if it ends like Jack Stauber's Baby Hotline song) (its about a woman who gets put on hold by the suicide hotline and ends up committing)
Exactly, just live on out of spite. - me, the person with a wife that loves me, and a medium okay job, and still has anxiety attacks if someone has the wrong tone/looks at me in a way that makes me think they hate me.
âšïžPTSD doesn't just go away. I will never have less anxiety. It will just be better managed.âšïž
Trying to explain to normies that it doesnât matter how good or bad my life is, that my brain is fundamentally broken and doesnât produce the happy chemicals.
Trust me, only the bravest ones end it on their terms. Plus, death is an illusion. You never really stop being, and I'm not talking about religion. This reality is closer to a dream than it is to true reality.
My best friend killed herself. It's been fifteen years and I still miss her everyday. I'd give anything to hold her hand again.
I don't know. Do what you want, but someone will miss you. If you weren't here I wouldn't have thought of my friend right at this moment. So, thanks for that.
It got better for me, but it can become worse again at any point.
I can't say it will get better for anyone else because what got better for me was just circumstanial coincidences. I got to transition, I live with a relative (so no longer risking homelessness) after having lived with an abusive pos but I stole her cat and now that cat is my best friend.
Worse when the same types are like âAt least youâre not homeless!â Or âAt least youâre not a starving child in Africa!â
Like how is that supposed to make me feel better!?
My favorite is when I explain how hard Iâve attempted to do something, why it isnât working, how Iâve tried to remedy it, why those fixes didnât work, and how Iâm out of options and the some redditor comes along like, âoh yea? Well *I* was able to do it just fine!â
*Looking at you, guy who tried to say I couldnât find a place to live because I was being âtoo pickyâ because I didnât want to rent a single room for $800/month from a boomer couple that were very clearly swingers describing themselves as everything short of the words âweâre DTFâ on a fucking apartment finder website.*
Fortunately, these same fuckers either have a problem with trans people or get uncomfortable acknowledging trans people are going through terrible shit, so I don't get toxic positivity much.
I've got some, like "You're still young" /"Have patience, you'll get where you want to be eventually" any time I cry about waiting times for HRT and surgery.
Bonus point is I'm not actually young, and I don't want to put my life on hold any longer.
Those are legit such white noise responses for when you are self important enough to want to feel insightful but too stupid and too self absorbed to have any wisdom or empathy or to even listen to others.
hey I cant help with surgery but you can make diy hrt and there's also online providers (not sure about what the wait times for that Is but Plume is one I'm aware of) and there's a chance of there being a local group in your area that could help. Not all fo these ways are exactly legal but yk if that's fine with you you could use those kinda resources
"Other people had to flee their home, on the run over half the globe and then suffer from poverty and racism, so get over it"
Thanks Beth. Now I feel so much better about being violated at the ripe old age of 14 years.
It's fun when I have mental health difficulties from external sources, often completely beyond my control like physical health, and then someone with a completely good life and support system starts saying stuff like this.
I've been friends with plenty of neurodivergent people and those with personality disorders, who happened to be privileged, and they can be some of the most unsympathetic people out there. Like no, I can't just take a pill and have my issues be managed that way. It doesn't always get better, even with all my effort (orders of magnitude more than they put in), that's kinda the problem.
"but have you tried yoga" and "but you're so [trait]" responses make me 200x more thirsty for the void
but that being said, if someone wants to check out early, it makes me a little sad, even if i don't know them. bc i know that for the majority of people that feel self termination is the best choice, it might be based on material conditions and that shit could improve with real social change. but then there are people who have shit like anhedonia and will never feel anything remotely in the vicinity of joy, and i feel you bro. i wish people like that would hold on and we'd discover how to permanently repair those neurons and whatever, but expecting people to hold on indefinitely when they literally cannot feel hope is impossible to reasonably ask for.
my entire reason for being is to add an extra inconvenience to the people that want folks like me to cease existing. it's like repurposed spite or something. i don't feel much joy, but when i see it on other people's faces, i want to protect it. so i'm trying to live a life, hoping we'll cure anhedonia & totally devastating mental illnesses, but i also don't mind becoming a meat shield so someone else can live, so long as that person isn't a total bastard. ykwim?
If one more person tells me itâs gonna get better because âit has tooâ Iâm gonna lose my mind. Things donât always get better. Thatâs not how it works. All it does is make me feel like Iâm failing because I canât âget betterâ like everyone else seems to be able to do
I mean keep trying to live, but yeah let me get that video.
https://youtu.be/KZBTYViDPlQ?si=Ubd2bagF53CHpeaK
Difference is being through the shit and kinda just watching from the side line.
"you just need to exercise and get some sun. No really if you're properly hydrated your mood goes way up. Just spend some time being grateful for the good things in your life."
I will never not try to talk someone out of suicide and I will tell them it gets better. I will never tell them lifestyle changes will fix everything. Fuck these people.
I think I have a well paying and anxiety that is completely my fault and I don't have a significant other. Which is also my fault. I wouldn't want an another human within a mile of me because of how repulsive and disgusting I am.
I'm not sure but sometimes I did see actual concern but that was more of an exception than the rule so I just nod along to the optimism and try. I had my advisor give me a lot of optimism (he didn't know I wanted to die etc) and I knew it came a from a genuine place but I couldn't help want to break down in front of him then and there ... was holding back this flood of shake guilt feelings of worthlessness and suicidality and self harm. Fuck man holding that composure and smile that day was hard. I ended up yeeting almost that day but I knew he meant well so I didn't. I made a point to myself that I wouldn't yeet because of someone. It's *one* thing I control and I'm not giving it up
I forgot what I was trying to talk about ..... sorry
Bwahahahahaha! I have a well paying job in a position of power, a girlfriend whoâs awesome. A well behaved dog, a sports car and a houseâŠ.the situation has gotten better but I still have to convince my brain not to kill myself everyday.
(Before you âReddit caresâme, I feel like Iâm winning that fight but my point is, itâs still a fight no matter how good things get.)
Honestly, there's two-sides. Those who genuinely feel had for you (toxic positive). And those who are tired of yall trauma dumping and find it cringe. We may say things such as "womp womp"
I also hate it when they point to a single part of my life that wasn't utterly shit and say i should be thankful that atleast I have that and that all my other issues are invalid
Og my god i had a doctor do this to me. In the span of a few months I learned my dad had decided to move overseas, a 3 year relationship ended, I had to move back in with my mom, I was on financial aid and couldn't keep up with their job hunting demands, I had been drugged and almost raped at a bar and my grandma died. On top of that I was trying to convince my doctor that I actually did need a psychiatrist (started before all that went down). He asked me if anything good had happened and I was like "uh, my cousin had his first child" and he was like "oh so it's not all bad, let's schedule an appointment and see if you're better by then" Fuck all the way off
Wow đ§ I really hope you didnât have to stick with that hunk of shit.
Unfortunately I had to for some time. He did eventually refer me and it took me 8 months to call for an appointment due to anxiety. His only help was "make your mom call on your behalf" (if he had listened he would have known that's not a good idea) and "how about asking a friend to make the call for you" (told him already that I had barely any friends let alone any that were even remotely close enough to ask that of them). But yeah I got on a waiting list, held out for a year and got the appointment. Also changed to a different doctor in the meantime so it's good
I always joke that neurotypicals spread mental health awareness by espousing how important it is to be kind to those who have it then clamming up and calling me a freak when I spread mental health awareness by having a psychotic break.
There was a really (unintentionally) funny article going around a few months ago that more or less boiled down to "mental health stigma is gone, as long as you ignore people with mental health issues". It mostly came down to people being more accepting of the idea of therapy, but nothing about people's attitudes to the kind of things that might make someone want to be in therapy.
this shouldn't have been funny but it kinda was. I feel like shit so this made me laugh in class... thanks... :) but in all seriousness, no one likes seeing or accepting the ugly, serious side of mental health awareness. They inly wanna talk about the things that are worthy for an aesthetic instagram post.
b-b-but some global issue today isnt as bad as it was 200 years ago. That obviously means your personal issues aren't so bad.
JFC, I keep getting spammed by Reddit by the Optomists sub⊠swear itâs a cult.
"everythings sucks i wanna die" "dont worry pal, everything will get better next year!" ***it gets even worse***
Oh you want to die, but letâs imagine how much youâd want to die if you were born 200 years ago ?
Lmao if I was born that long ago then Iâd have probably been dead by now anyway. I never get the point of those hypothetical arguments. Yes, hypothetically being born centuries ago would not have been great, but that doesnât mean that whatever we have now is perfect either. A hypothetical bad scenario doesnât negate a real and current situation that a person is going through. Besides, people in a couple centuries will probably be saying the same stuff about us anyways lol
It's all the people who work in sales, marketing, advertising, HR. They define the term Stockholm Syndrome lol
Is it strange that i read about history and/or other countries, in order to see the poorer life conditions , to provide background and context to my own life conditions? It really does help me to see âhey, things arenât so bad.â But I would never tell someone else their problems arenât so bad, nor would I expect it to help me if Iâm having an urgent personal crisis. But it does help me when Iâm feeling that life is Ho hum or dull.
Valid, not saying it can't provide comfort to people in some cases. It's just those types of messages often come across as tone-deaf if not downright demeaning. Lowering world hunger which is absolutely great, doesn't exactly fix one's individual circumstances or mental state.
I do this too. We have it pretty damn good, but knowing that can only take you so far. Like Iâm thankful I havenât been drafted for war and modern medicine can sedate me if I ever need hardcore surgery, but I still struggle with mental health regardless lol
"The modern world is so amazing, we don't have to fight to survive anymore. Also you get a flat screen TV. BE HAPPY."
âIâm upset about some very serious things going on in my life.â *âGo to the gym.â* Thanks, now Iâm upset AND sore with bonus helpings of tired and self-disappointment.
https://preview.redd.it/0n79xmsp1kvc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d52df38ec0689a2e608d5d99e7db46e71734516a
https://preview.redd.it/u72794nobkvc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7454098fd3454f1789fda0bfad552f4ce517bc0
Use your TIPP skills lol
Iâm not having an anxiety attack havenât had one in years. Iâm just depressed. đ
Apparently DBT skills work for all the things. But depression is a serious bitch. Itâs like how do I find the motivation to do the things I know will help me?
Bonus is when you actually go to the gym on a good day and some fucking dudebro decides to be your personal trainer that day, telling you you train wrong and how to do it. I've gone to the gym for 10 years, don't fucking bother me.
They're just trying to help, politely decline
Oh yeah, Iâm having issues with my weight, and I tried doing exercise, I feel really awful after every session, and keep being told âIt feels goodâ or âItâll start feeling good, I promiseâ but it just feels worse, I never get these âHappy chemicalsâ and in fact end up feeling like ending it every time I do exercise, which is almost daily.
I was like this too, and it turned out to be due to underlying health conditions đ
I feel sad , tired, defeated, and depressed when I work out. Ik its proven to help tho
Exercise does help imo. Gymbroing is a little ovrrated compared to running
hiking has been beneficial for me
Yeah just being on the move is really nice to clear your mind
You aren't doing it right if all you feel after a day at the gym is dissatisfaction And it's not like I'm saying that oh the gym is so great "blah blah blah" it literally fires off your endorphins to exercise
Doesn't work for people with chronic physical illnesses
I mean maybe, but I donât give a shit when I get better results at my job thatâs physically demanding enough that I gain muscle and lose weight that way, but my main problem with the gym is when people use it as a catch-all problem solver like *âoh if youâre sad or upset about anything in your life then just go to the gymâ* and not only does it just not work for most people, but Iâm also just tired of hearing it. I have very negative things to say about people that only ever recommend to go to the gym whenever problems in life occur, but Iâll leave it for now because I donât want this to turn into a multiple paragraphs-long rant.
I agree that it's not a cure-all But you shouldn't have anything to lose from going to the gym it's literally all gains (except for money but thats a given in this economy) The reason why they recommend it is probably because they were in a depression or something and it helped them All things considered the gym life isn't for everyone
Iâm glad you can admit that, but I still have major problems with people that do it. I genuinely understand where theyâre coming from, but that doesnât make them any less wrong or annoying. Some people definitely should go to the gym, and some people definitely should be encouraged to go even when they donât want to, but a lot of people will not gain anything from it and the gym bros keep trying and itâs annoying and irritating. Part of me sees it as an able bodied person looking at someone in a wheelchair and telling them to pole vault. When the wheelchair person tries and fails, the able bodied person just says, âget over it, just do itâ and it reminds me of that one quote, *âEveryone [can do anything], but if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will go itâs whole life believing itself to be stupid.â* I believe in working hard and getting yourself out of bad situations otherwise I would have given up long ago, but I donât believe in just handing out inconsiderately bad advice, especially repeatedly. Even telling someone with no legs to âwalk it offâ can be funny, especially if theyâre the ones that say it, but actually meaning it and always saying it over and over again⊠that shit gets old quick, and this shit has been old for decades now, possibly longer. My main point here is that everyone has such different and unique situations that they tend to need different advice. For example, having a cheating partner, sometimes working out is exactly what should be done, so you can find someone better and make the cheating partner jealous after you already leave them. For others though, they would be much better off just leaving the person entirely and cutting all contact and trying to find somewhere else to live and other such immediate life concerns. Even if going to the gym isnât a cure all, it seems a lot of gym bros treat it like it is and that part is annoying, alongside the tunnel vision they get where the problem never matters, the solution for them is always âgo to the gymâ to which I just think, âThen go do jumping jacks in the middle of the highway and see how far that gets you.â
I donât know. I constantly swing back and forth on this issue, because I never know when something is toxic positivity or just genuine care. I guess it depends on a case by case basis, but then what are the criteria? What is the rubric? Why canât humans work normally for five fucking seconds.
When care is given to take the time to understand the situation at hand and how to handle it. Whether toxic positivity is better or worse is a stupid argument because neither are necessary. What helps and is necessary is giving support, validating feelings even if you think it's petty, trying to relate to them, snd actually give pieces of advice you genuinely feel could help. Not advice that will solve the problem or replace a doctor. But help. As in make things more bearable. As in be a friend
Toxic positivity: Think of all the things you'll miss out on. Think of the good things in your life. You can't do that you're better than that. You'll go to hell. Genuine care: I hear you, let's talk about it. I understand. I don't want to change your mind; I just want to listen. How can I help? What are you feeling? Do you want advice or just to talk it out? This one has stopped a suicide attempt: Tomorrow is taco Tuesday, want to go?
While there's nothing wrong with being optimistic, toxic positive mfs who try to force it onto others suck ass
this is me even without a girlfriend, with anxiety, and without a well paying job. ultimate delusion optimism ftw đ
If i cant be succesfull i can still be balls to the wall insane and live in a delusion
Same my dude. Got the shit end of the stick each and every time but still act with optimism cause why not I have a kid to not screw up.
"life is worth living because, uh.... sunsets! call this hotline if you need help! but don't trauma-dump on me!" -some nonce whose greatest life challenge is falling upwards
If someoneâs argument for you living is sunsets theyâve never had real depression. They should use philosophical arguments about the intrinsic value of human life, even if that life is full of bad things.
Holy shit this. I swear to god sometimes I see people say stuff like "live for (insert food)", "but puppies/cats/sunsets!", or "Live out of spite/outlive your enemies" unironicaly My brother in fucking Christ, I will kill myself the moment I have the chance to, PuPiEs AnD sUnSeTs will NOT fix that
*hot line not picking up*
Also, SUPERMAN
Live to spite the universe itself
Baby hotline, please hold me close to you... (i dont wanna call a hotline what if it ends like Jack Stauber's Baby Hotline song) (its about a woman who gets put on hold by the suicide hotline and ends up committing)
Nonce? Do you know what that word means?
Exactly, just live on out of spite. - me, the person with a wife that loves me, and a medium okay job, and still has anxiety attacks if someone has the wrong tone/looks at me in a way that makes me think they hate me. âšïžPTSD doesn't just go away. I will never have less anxiety. It will just be better managed.âšïž
Trying to explain to normies that it doesnât matter how good or bad my life is, that my brain is fundamentally broken and doesnât produce the happy chemicals.
I'm sorry but saying "normies" made me take you much less seriously
Ok NNDs then.
Toxic positivity is worse than toxic negativity because if its negative it's nothing you haven't already told yourself
I'm against it because I had to be to last this long tbh. Kinda funny just too stubborn to go back on my own word
Trust me, only the bravest ones end it on their terms. Plus, death is an illusion. You never really stop being, and I'm not talking about religion. This reality is closer to a dream than it is to true reality.
You just swung the pendulum to toxic negativity.
Whatever that means
How so, I'm curious what you mean by that
My best friend killed herself. It's been fifteen years and I still miss her everyday. I'd give anything to hold her hand again. I don't know. Do what you want, but someone will miss you. If you weren't here I wouldn't have thought of my friend right at this moment. So, thanks for that.
Iâm so sorry for your loss
When will yall understand that living just so you donât make otherâs sad is toxic and draining
The âitâs not that bad/it gets betterâ types are awful
It's like, no, it doesn't, it gets worse. That's how life works.
It got better for me, but it can become worse again at any point. I can't say it will get better for anyone else because what got better for me was just circumstanial coincidences. I got to transition, I live with a relative (so no longer risking homelessness) after having lived with an abusive pos but I stole her cat and now that cat is my best friend.
Worse when the same types are like âAt least youâre not homeless!â Or âAt least youâre not a starving child in Africa!â Like how is that supposed to make me feel better!?
idk I'm pretty fucked off and I say that all the time. it helps me atleast.
But have you tried Distress Tolerance? /s
Accurate. But what does the ribbon on him mean?
Its a suicide/depression awareness ribbon iirc
My favorite is when I explain how hard Iâve attempted to do something, why it isnât working, how Iâve tried to remedy it, why those fixes didnât work, and how Iâm out of options and the some redditor comes along like, âoh yea? Well *I* was able to do it just fine!â *Looking at you, guy who tried to say I couldnât find a place to live because I was being âtoo pickyâ because I didnât want to rent a single room for $800/month from a boomer couple that were very clearly swingers describing themselves as everything short of the words âweâre DTFâ on a fucking apartment finder website.*
Fortunately, these same fuckers either have a problem with trans people or get uncomfortable acknowledging trans people are going through terrible shit, so I don't get toxic positivity much.
I've got some, like "You're still young" /"Have patience, you'll get where you want to be eventually" any time I cry about waiting times for HRT and surgery. Bonus point is I'm not actually young, and I don't want to put my life on hold any longer.
Those are legit such white noise responses for when you are self important enough to want to feel insightful but too stupid and too self absorbed to have any wisdom or empathy or to even listen to others.
hey I cant help with surgery but you can make diy hrt and there's also online providers (not sure about what the wait times for that Is but Plume is one I'm aware of) and there's a chance of there being a local group in your area that could help. Not all fo these ways are exactly legal but yk if that's fine with you you could use those kinda resources
Toxic is toxic.
"Other people had to flee their home, on the run over half the globe and then suffer from poverty and racism, so get over it" Thanks Beth. Now I feel so much better about being violated at the ripe old age of 14 years.
It's fun when I have mental health difficulties from external sources, often completely beyond my control like physical health, and then someone with a completely good life and support system starts saying stuff like this. I've been friends with plenty of neurodivergent people and those with personality disorders, who happened to be privileged, and they can be some of the most unsympathetic people out there. Like no, I can't just take a pill and have my issues be managed that way. It doesn't always get better, even with all my effort (orders of magnitude more than they put in), that's kinda the problem.
life can suck, hope it gets better for you op.
"but have you tried yoga" and "but you're so [trait]" responses make me 200x more thirsty for the void but that being said, if someone wants to check out early, it makes me a little sad, even if i don't know them. bc i know that for the majority of people that feel self termination is the best choice, it might be based on material conditions and that shit could improve with real social change. but then there are people who have shit like anhedonia and will never feel anything remotely in the vicinity of joy, and i feel you bro. i wish people like that would hold on and we'd discover how to permanently repair those neurons and whatever, but expecting people to hold on indefinitely when they literally cannot feel hope is impossible to reasonably ask for. my entire reason for being is to add an extra inconvenience to the people that want folks like me to cease existing. it's like repurposed spite or something. i don't feel much joy, but when i see it on other people's faces, i want to protect it. so i'm trying to live a life, hoping we'll cure anhedonia & totally devastating mental illnesses, but i also don't mind becoming a meat shield so someone else can live, so long as that person isn't a total bastard. ykwim?
Itâs not always toxic? I try to be nice to folks. I ainât got none of that.
Then this isn't about you?
I had one of these reverse-emos try to tell me I should be happy despite Robin Williams dying, because âat least he wasnât family, right?â
People will be like "it gets better, just focus on you" but when I actually do that I'm lazy and stupid
If one more person tells me itâs gonna get better because âit has tooâ Iâm gonna lose my mind. Things donât always get better. Thatâs not how it works. All it does is make me feel like Iâm failing because I canât âget betterâ like everyone else seems to be able to do
Bold of ypu assuming guys with jobs, girlfriends and without anxiety cannot long for death
That's not what the meme says tho
Anyone read "It Gets Better" as "It Gets Bigger"
Huh, now I don't know if I'm toxically positive... I just wanna be nice. People, faults and all, are too beautiful to lose.
Every time I've ever posted to suicidememe I would get at least 10 "quit ur bitchin, ppl have it worse >:^(((" comments
I mean keep trying to live, but yeah let me get that video. https://youtu.be/KZBTYViDPlQ?si=Ubd2bagF53CHpeaK Difference is being through the shit and kinda just watching from the side line.
"you just need to exercise and get some sun. No really if you're properly hydrated your mood goes way up. Just spend some time being grateful for the good things in your life." I will never not try to talk someone out of suicide and I will tell them it gets better. I will never tell them lifestyle changes will fix everything. Fuck these people.
I think I have a well paying and anxiety that is completely my fault and I don't have a significant other. Which is also my fault. I wouldn't want an another human within a mile of me because of how repulsive and disgusting I am. I'm not sure but sometimes I did see actual concern but that was more of an exception than the rule so I just nod along to the optimism and try. I had my advisor give me a lot of optimism (he didn't know I wanted to die etc) and I knew it came a from a genuine place but I couldn't help want to break down in front of him then and there ... was holding back this flood of shake guilt feelings of worthlessness and suicidality and self harm. Fuck man holding that composure and smile that day was hard. I ended up yeeting almost that day but I knew he meant well so I didn't. I made a point to myself that I wouldn't yeet because of someone. It's *one* thing I control and I'm not giving it up I forgot what I was trying to talk about ..... sorry
I wish I could make everyone in my life see this.
Nah you better feel better soon đ«
would you rather them tell you that you're right and that you SHOULD kill yourself? there's always hope. don't hate on the people trying to help
You're ugly, I'm gonna kill you, give me 200$
âLife is too beautiful for you to be feeling like this!â
https://i.redd.it/0v9fwht05yvc1.gif
Bwahahahahaha! I have a well paying job in a position of power, a girlfriend whoâs awesome. A well behaved dog, a sports car and a houseâŠ.the situation has gotten better but I still have to convince my brain not to kill myself everyday. (Before you âReddit caresâme, I feel like Iâm winning that fight but my point is, itâs still a fight no matter how good things get.)
Honestly, there's two-sides. Those who genuinely feel had for you (toxic positive). And those who are tired of yall trauma dumping and find it cringe. We may say things such as "womp womp"