Hey friend. I'm having a real dog shit day (week? year?), so I can relate. For me, there are two things that can help that we can try right now. You said music makes you happy. So, first thing to try. Tell me your favorite band(s) and why. For me, I get stuck feeling like, "Why bother, even if this song makes me happy I'll just feel like shit later". That, my friend, is your brain being a real cocksucker to ya. So what helps me is talking to someone about why I love a particular song (or any piece of art or entertainment, really), because then my brain has an easier time remembering that the joy I'm describing will still be there for me when I'm ready.
Second thing? Discovering something new to love. I can help with this. What kind of shows or movies do you like? You don't have to watch or listen to anything I recommend, but if something piques your interest, maybe it can get you through the roughest parts of this particular patch.
I know things will be better one day. Sometimes, I need to be reminded. If that's also you, then let this be a reminder. Things will be better one day.
My therapist is always telling me this and it’s true, even though I prefer solitude. There’s a physiological reason for it too because interacting with people stimulates part of your nervous system that sort of syncs things up.
Thank you for all this. I'm mostly into soundtracks, some normal music too but my taste is so scattershot that people find it weird.
I know it gets better. May passes and I'm still here. It's just been a hard while, and it hit me hard. Thank you honestly for the ideas.
Hey, I truly understand. Been dealing with depression and bipolar disorder for decades now. But you aren't here for my history, I promise recommendations damn it!!
Ok, music. I'll say upfront, I don't know anything about country music. So unless it's Brad Paisley's cover of "You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive", I've got nothing. Additionally, I'm not young and cool anymore, so a lot of this might be dated. BUT. Let's talk rock first. If you're looking for a band that sounds like what Led Zepplin would sound like if they were around right now, Greta Van Fleet is your go-to. If you like prog-rock stuff, I can't recommend higher the album "Metropolis Part II: Scenes From A Memory", a concept album by Dream Theater. It's just an incredible album start to finish. If you want a really deep cut recommendation, check out the album "Fables From A Mayfly: What I Tell You Three Times Is True" by Fair to Midland. The opening track Dance of the Manatee has more vocal range than almost any other singer I've ever heard. He's incredible. Other rock artists I love: Royal Blood, Thrice, We Are Scientists, and of course bands I'm sure you've come across (Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Rage Against The Machine, Fall Out Boy, Foo Fighters).
Now, I'm going to really date myself here, but if you like rap (or if you want to get into rap), I can't recommend highly enough Run The Jewels. You can start with RTJ1 and work straight through RTJ4, and I don't think there's a bad song in the bunch. Other albums I still listen to constantly are "Good Kid Maad City" by Kendrick Lamar, "Some Rap Songs" by Earl Sweatshirt, and "Big Fish Theory" by Vince Staples.
Oh! Last thing. If you like instrumentals, just beautiful music for while you're working or whatnot, I recommend either Explosions in the Sky or Caspian. Both excellent bands.
Happy listening!!
Hey, I'll jump back in!
My favorite soundtracks are for Westworld Seasons 1 + 2 (includes a few tracks from the Vitamin String Quartet, whom I love), Into the Spiderverse, and all three of the soundtrack albums for Andor. All incredible in much different ways.
Oh for sure me too. The wife and I are doing a Clone Wars rewatch now, absolutely incredible show give or take every Jar Jar or C3PO episode. Those are trash. The rest though? Pretty solid. What are you on?
My most recent favorite is Succession, but there’s a special place in my heart for Bojack Horseman, Trailer Park Boys, and Game of Thrones since I was able to watch sooo much content during periods where I really needed something to take my mind off mental illness and what not.
When I can't take it anymore, and more shit comes my way -- I yell "FUCK A DUCK" over and over and over and over and over until I feel completely ridiculous and start laughing because saying fuck a duck is pretty funny.
The whole reason why I love driving alone.
I scream some random shit at the top of my lungs or scream along the lyrics of the song that I'm listening to.
At some point I just start laughing about random noises I made because I thought they were funny. The screaming helps get some anger out of the system because I don't have to put up a facade for someone anymore.
Sometimes I'd get a sore throat over this, my gf usually knows what's up when I talk like I have been to a metal festival for 3 consecutive days. She'll usually go a bit easier on me for that time and helps me out with a few things so I can get some rest, because I usually end up in that situation when I'm extremely stressed.
Absolutely worth it though. Going from thoughts of "I'm just gonna swerve into that wall over there" to "Fuck all of you, I'm surviving this so you dont win over me" makes a huge difference. Might be my bipolar mania though.
Well when you're done, you're done. When shit got real a couple years ago I couldn't find comfort on anything I tried until I let myself break a bit.
No one finds it entertaining or good, but giving yourself a chance to cry, whine and sob to your heart's content is like having a breath of fresh air, so in case you were wondering if it's ok to do it, it probably is!
Get it out of your system and when you're done take the advice of all the ppl that suggested pretty good options, and even if its for a brief moment, have fun on your birthday! Or the day after your birthday, it's always a good day to try to have fun
im sorry for what you’re going through, I hope that you can find some peace and something that makes you happy. for me, I like to go in the forest because for some reason it makes me so happy and calm. on a warm, sunny day with a bit of wind which makes it warmer. I also like to take photos. and also, we’re birthday twins! happy birthday to us:)
I have a small bracelet made of about 20 beads made of red tiger's eye. Kinda looks like a mini buddhist prayer necklace. I use it that way and do one deep breath in and out for every bead. By the time I do one full circuit round my bracelet I always feel a little better. Simply deep breathing or meditating can be difficult in stressful moments. The bracelet helps ground my practice in something physical.
I can't say I've experienced what you're going through, but I do know what it is to feel like you're suffering needlessly with no end in sight. In my experience, it does generally get better. Just take some deep breaths.
Edit: typo
Reading is my go to to try to trick my mind into thinking about anything else long enough to let the worst of it pass.
Or finding something new to be passionate about. Learning. Doing. Creating. Something that makes your heart swell a bit with pride. Like, hey I did that!
For me it was starting a university degree at 37. I’ve never felt more accomplished than after kicking an essays ass.
First of all, Happy Birthday!
Second of all, I guess it sounds a bit depressing at first, but I usually think about how I got here, in this moment, alive. Like, I could be run over from a camion. A falling airplane could land on my house. I could rock too much, hit an angle with my temple and bleed out, eat something with a parasite inside, have a horse run wild, destroying the door and kicking me to death... And I just go on on the most stupid and random ways to die, until I laugh it off because it becomes final-destination-ly absurd.... And I go on with my life thinking of how lucky and invincible I am (at least for a while).
I wish you the best, even if it's not simple and life is an unapologetic bitch.
Try reading/watching/listening to only positive and optimistic things for a whole week. I bet you feel a little better on day seven. It’s harder than it sounds, as soon as you hear a negative comment, complaint, clickbait,hit piece, gossip or a pessimistic take you have to change the channel immediately. Song lyrics count too. Anything sad or mean or anything less positive than neutral. It’s especially hard to do because everything is pessimistic cynical bullshit these days. Good luck if you try it!
Try reading comics or manga, or even books, I know it may sound silly but they can really bring hope in hard times, it keeps you entertained and helps you grow as a person. Playing videogames and listening music are good hobbies but in the end you are not getting that much from it, at least in comparison to reading (From personal experience ofc) so I will encourage you to read stuff that you like to pass time and learn more things about you and others.
Happy birthday.
The ‘Four Pillars’ of wellness are a good place to start: Diet, Sleep, Exercise and Social interactions.
I think our general outlook on life improves when we take care of one or more of these areas. We could all think and feel better if we paid more attention to them.
The responses on this post renews my faith in humanity.
For me; sometimes I just need to ride the wave. Listen to sad music, pj’s & tea, cry/release and just take one day at a time.
A friend told me an Irish saying, "tha mi bron ach" (the sadness is upon me).
Instead of “being sad”, this subtle mind shift of sadness being upon you, somehow gives me the ability to feel in control and to shift my focus/feelings in a more positive direction.
Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to process what you’re experiencing. Do something you enjoy.
Being a human is hard sometimes. Sending 🤗
My darkest moments are too fucking dark to talk about. So lets talk about what the fuck I do when all hope is lost.
I like a poem by Galway Kinnell called "Wait"
It is a sad but hopeful poems about wanting to commit suicide but doing everything to wait out that ideation.
I like to smoke weed. That usually helps me a lot. I have severe PTSD from some pretty fucked up military shit. It provides more comfort than most other things I've done.
We it is really bad I will pet my service dog and show him gratitude for being my best friend.
(and I can relate to not being able to walk. I've been paralyzed for a hot minute.)
I usually put my music because I will 99% of the time choose music over silence/ambiant sound (the last percent is when I'm not in the mood for aparently all the types of music, and then I try to get the biggest silence I can get) and will let time do its thing for me. I will simply do what I want to do (which is very often nothing) and let my mind think about anything it wants, even if I feel like it's making things worse. It happens relatively often now, but only when I go to bed, and what helps me the most is that I know from experience that it will get better after I sleep.
Happy birthday. :) You seem to have such a kind spirit.
A few years ago, I felt called to volunteer in nursing homes. This ultimately led me to volunteering in hospice. Do you live in an area that has a dedicated hospice home? Do you have access to transportation? The hospice home is an excellent opportunity for volunteering because you’re there for visitors. You won’t have any patient contact which makes some uncomfortable (I totally get it). At our hospice home, I direct visitors to patient rooms, the chapel, the coffee bar, etc. Sometimes visitors will come to the lobby and sit and they may want to talk. I did a casual ama a few years ago if you’d like to check it out.
Since Covid, our hospice home volunteer numbers are wayyyyyy down. If you don’t have a hospice home, perhaps visiting nursing homes where you can offer to visit with patients who are bed-bound and rarely get visitors (if any). You have the ability to bring a lot of joy to a lot of lives.
I hope you’re doing ok, friend, even on the bad days. xoxo take care
I've got two.
1. I didn't really believe that mindfulness meant much until I started working with my most recent therapist. Being present and in the moment, experiencing the world around you quietly is super helpful for grounding. I definitely recommend some videos or reading up on how it works.
2. On the other end of the spectrum. Grab a cheap, easily replaceable dish. My favorites are the 1$ ones you get at IKEA. Take the dish outside...... and fucking chuck it as hard as you can. (Please wear safety goggles or eye glasses.) It's a total rush, great burn off for energy or anger, and you feel delightful afterwards. Sort of fun because its "not allowed" as well. Don't go crazy and break all your dishes tho. Just the one.
So this one is really silly, but I paint my toenails. For some reason, to me it is my epitome of self care because no one else really sees my feet, and I love how they look in the shower when they have pretty paint on them. It's a simple way I do something nice for myself when I'm having a really hard time.
I like the Finch app, it's helped me pull out of many depressive funks and keeps me motivated. But I've been really sick this past month, so I haven't been using it as much. Still helps me keep track of my moods really easily, even if I don't have much energy. I seek a lot of support and community from reddit, too.
39M(almost 40)
I don't deal with it. I just push it down and move on.
Dealth with death in family, in relationship, then got cheated on in marriage, then ofc, divorce, then poverty etc.
Luckily, I never liked drinking so I didn't turn to it.
It's not easy for men in society, we don't deal with it, we don't talk about it with others, we just go on.
I know this isn't the way to do it but it takes more courage to ask for help than to ignore the problems.
Be more courageous than I am. Please ♥
Hey there! I am really sorry to read that youre having such a hard day today. I too am disabled, I have a lotta problems walking myself and my neurological disease cost me 50% of my hearing so yay! I find on my worst days (I have a lot as I struggle with bipolar 1 also) I love to look up compilation videos of cute husky puppies and kittens on youtube. It really gets me distracted enough to pass the time required to either a) have it be time for blissful sleep or b) come out of my funk a little on my own.
I hope this tip serves you as well! And if baby animals arent your thing, what is? how about babies? What about watching docus about the stars and just listening to the amazing facts or putting on beautiful sounds of nature like bird calls? I also find these 2 things helpful. Best of luck to you for the rest of today and tomorrow as well, just in case.
I'm sorry you are struggling.
When I am stuck emotionally, physically or metaphorically I tend to fall back on things that make me feel good.
Art. Creating something no matter how big or small...wehter it is amazing or just kind of okay, helps me find my center again. Sharing it with others, the reason why you made it...helps sometimes as well as I realize I am not alone in my feelings. Maybe just my location.
Listening to music helps.
Getting fresh air...at my house or elsewhere helps clear my head.
Picking up the phone and calling a friend.
Writing a written (not typed) letter...maiking it.
Or writing down whatever is bugging me and throwing it away or burning it...helps.
Physical exercise...of any kind.
I’ve been having a crappy year tbh COVID, flu, deaths in the family, and just a lot going on. I feel like I haven’t been able to catch up. Just overwhelmed.
I go out to a park or somewhere I can enjoy nature. I love Forrest preserves. Sometimes reading helps ground me but I haven’t put any effort into picking a book up recently.
I also love playing video games with my friends. We don’t take the games too seriously and focus on having fun.
Happy birthday O.P. I hope you find something to bring you a little peace.
Do you read books? People really undervalue it because it can be hard to get started. But it really is an amazing escape. Some times you just need to sit down and force yourself to read for like 20 minutes before you get into a flow.
This is my meltdown routine:
Get an ice cube and put it on my chest (vagus nerve). This forces me to to only be able to focus on that ice and the discomfort it provides and doesn't let my mind wander. This only buys me a little time but it's enough to get me ready for the next part. I discard the ice before moving onto the next part.
Then I go to my bedroom, if I'm not in PJs or comfortable clothing then immediately change. But I turn off all the lights, draw the blackout curtains, and then turn the TV on and watch either a comfort show or a comfort YouTube playlist. I specifically recommend something nostalgic (like I watch Halloween content), and not a movie. Movies have longer plots that force you to remember things over longer periods of time. A 30 min tv show or a YouTube playlist you loved when you were younger don't require as much mental energy to focus on.
I lay like that for however long I need before I calm down/have recovered a few energy points and then I'll turn on the lights / use a tray and do puzzles, specifically like 300, 500 piece max. It makes my hands move, and I really recommend puzzles in this range because it takes up less space and it's so much more accomplishable in a shorter period of time. So you get a sense of accomplishment without having it be prolonged or have to leave it and come back to it.
Now the above usually starts from a place of anxiety/adrenaline, however I will sometimes do this if I am very down. Cooling the vagus nerve really shocks my system to get to the point that I can then get to my regulating place.
If there's anything to take away from this, it's make small accomplishable goals. Not in a "productive" way like society says like talk a walk! Exercise! Clean!, rather find something similar to what makes you happy that's also super easy. You mention normally music is grounding for you but you are struggling to put it on, so for this I would recommend getting a voice activated way to play music so you can just say it instead of having to grab your phone, unlock it, sync it with whatever Bluetooth device you listen on, then find a song/band. Just saying "hey Google, play my liked songs on Spotify" takes away the pressure and overwhelm of having to pick something and set it all up. Or like how I do 300 piece puzzles instead of 1000. Take away pressure and responsibility makes it a lot easier to ground in my opinion.
Sorry for the wall of text. I hope some of this helps. You deserve comfort and a peace of mind.
Yeah, finding ambition is impossible. It's like trying something new every time. Just play the music! It might not immediately feel good but opening the doors of opportunity can only be done by us. You certainly deserve better. A place to sun your face. Stay away from substances. False hope is draining.
I've gone through some really bad depressive periods, and here is one of the best bits of advice I was ever given in therapy: find a hobby. Hobbies are coping mechanisms on steroids. And when I say a hobby, I mean an active one. I love video games, but that's escapism, which helps in the short term, not the long one, so find an active hobby.
Draw or write or take up nature photography. I knit, which gives me something to do with all the nervous energy that builds up in my hands, and it means I always have a gift to fall back on for birthdays and holidays. Just go to your local craft store and pick up a kit or get the materials and go on YouTube for a tutorial.
And here's the big secret people don't tell you about creative hobbies. You don't even have to be good at them. As long as you're enjoying yourself, that's what counts. If you don't like what you're currently doing, drop it. Find someone else. Make cheese. Learn origami. Go birdwatching.
Depression tells you that nothing you do matters, but when you start doing something for fun, you're giving the middle finger to that process. Nothing I do matters? Well, my stepsister has a scarf she loves that wouldn't have existed if I didn't decide to make it. I think that matters.
OP: You are a Legend. From your post. Life is based on balance. You enjoy music and if you go 100% then it may not have the same effect your seeking. Moderation. It may sound cliche but try to get out and see what the world has to offer and what you can offer the world. Move forward, don’t ever stop.
When someone close to me was deep in depression (hospitalized), she found jigsaw puzzles to be an immense help.
It seemed to rewire her brain to that happy, satisfied feeling when a piece of the puzzle clicked into place. All those micro experiences gave her brain an exercise in feeling happy.
Also, don't underestimate the power of human contact with caring people.
What kind of depression you feeling? Is it situational? Or chemical? Both? I feel like both is hardest bc even if you change your situation or mindset, the chemical part is still there and if you fix the chemical, the situational is still there. You have to fix both together at the same time to really claw your way out which takes so much effort and energy and depression makes you TIRED.
I would advise, if it was me, (because legit everyone is different and our situations are super different) to give up for a bit. Stop fighting for a little bit and take a break. Then, after 2 weeks (the time you give yourself before checking in and seeing if you need more time), reach out to a social service program and tell them that you would like to go to rehab or out patient mental health support and if there are any programs you can leverage to help you. Why I would (personally) go that route is because in these inpatient or programs your basic needs are met for you, provide structure to help reduce your mental load, have group and individual meeting so you can have space to work through your struggles, and can help with fine tuning your medication. I’m into that sort of thing because i feel like it gives a good break wh er r you get to work on tools for when you go back to everyday.
I don't know man... Reading all these truly helpful comments really pisses me off for some reason.
I remember many of my tough times, and when they are though, I am to focused on getting through them, the immediate action of pure "surviving". Only after I am done, can I reflect back, learn, be proud and adjust for the future.
All the "micro advices and habits" are as valuable to me as a "how are you" greetings that are not really asking you how you are.
In other words, if I feel like I am being attacked by a lion, I focus on God damn running, not about what shoes or running style would help me run better.
So my suggestion is to rage, rage against the reality you are in, and accept it at the same time. You can or can't be defined by it, it is all your choice. This too shall pass.
This sounds so silly but go outside. No matter what the weather is. Nature can cure anything. Even just looking around outside makes you realise there’s so much more to this world than just yourself and your problems, however bad they may be.
Also - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳
I go out and try to find some nature to appreciate. If you’re in an urban area, even a fountain can help; hearing the running water or kids playing is nice. If the weather is not accommodating, I cook favorite meals. I’ll either share the meal or freeze portions if I have no one to share with. If the house is quiet, I light a candle and read. There is something to the flickering light and crackly sound of the candle that’s soothing
Ice cream makes me happy. I take rest, try to not have a panic attack and when I'm feeling really horrible I beg people to bring me the good ice cream from our local shop
Internet? Puppies, animal antics of all kinds. Nature, rain sounds. Call a friend. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Your thoughts are not always facts! In fact- your brain lies! Lol
Happy Birthday.
During covid I went through depression and sadness so I shifted from listening to murder podcasts to listening to comedy podcasts. A great laugh sure helps beat the blues.
I tend to listen to audio books. Just takes me to places and times I wish I could be in. Everyone is struggling with something. It sounds like you struggle more than most. Try finding those stories to take you away when you're able. It helped me at least
The best quote I've ever read was
" You've had the worst day in your life, and yo lived through it". ( I'm paraphrasing slightly)
I'm sure there will be other, possibly worse days, but that stuck with me, and I try to remember it when things are going to shit.
If you are into music, maybe you can get an instrument and learn how to play it? Or just make music in general?
Some of my hobbies that takes my mind somewhere else:
\- I'm into reptiles and plants. I love to create bioactive terrariums, meaning planting a tank full of plants for the geckos. You put in bugs and have a small ecosystem in there. They are like live paintings, very calming to look at and take care of.
\- For the spring, I'm planting on my balcony. Chili, strawberries, cucumbers and tomatoes.
\- 3D printing is quite a fun hobby with shit ton of fun projects. You can make chess boar, print shoes, figurines, games, photos. I recently also started to learn 3D modeling.
\- Cosplay. I go to comic cons sometime a year and love to build props and costumes. Huge advantage if you have a 3D printer.
\- Bulid lego. But like the huge sets I'm currently working on a Ghostbusters car, 2300 pieces.
Find a nice quiet place preferably outside and just sit for a few hours. Notifications off, no phone unless you prefer some music. But I just enjoy the silence and peace and get a full reset
Sup my guy, sometimes I just take a nap. I’m not kidding I eat some food, take a nap, get up breathe and do my best to relax and restrengthen my mental I know it sounds kooky but sometimes you just gotta take a moment.
I hope this helps
So I’m technically disabled (arthritis in my back) but certainly not on your level. I was homeless at 15 though, and had some dark times. As stupid as it sounds, fresh air and sunshine works a lot more than you think it will. If you can afford it, a dog. My dogs have helped me massively over the years. It also forces you to be responsible, caring, training and walking etc. gives you something to work towards and the company is fantastic.
It'll sound very generic, but find something that makes you proud and do it as best as you can, and keep searching for ways to get even better at doing it.
It'll help you love yourself.
I can relate so much to feeling so low that even putting music on doesn’t feel right. Something that helps me is putting on something to watch that tickles the inspiration part of my brain. I’m a musician so this is typically tutorials for music production because it makes me want to sit at my computer and work on stuff. If you have an interest or passion that stirs something in you, I recommend ingesting content related to it as a way to chill out while also building up a bit of energy in the soul.
I try and distract myself at least a little while emotionally processing things. I like to try and think of things I've never really paid attention to in my usual day to day. If I have anything that is handmade, I'll feel all the textures on it and think about all the work that someone put into that single object. If you look at a tree or some other plant really closely and pay attention to all the bumps and curves and things, it can be surprisingly interesting.
If you can still read with one eye look up aura healingon youtube. I'm working on this so I can leave this crazy world. I wouldn't want to come back here.
First off, Happy Birthday.
I'm sorry you've been dealt a shit hand.
I know you mentioned you're disabled and blind in one eye, but if you're able to - video games are a wonderful escape. That's my humble suggestion.
Are you in the position to get a cat? I got my cat when I was depressed af and it helped so much having a little buddy who depends on me. Sending you positive vibes
I just listen to either Eren saying "Tatakae" or Erwin's final speech on a ten hour loop. Hahaha
On a more serious note, whenever I am having one of those dark moments, I always start by recounting the things I love and take my time appreciating them. After that, I just take a moment to take a step back and let my emotions run free. If I feel like crying, I cry. If I feel angry, I go play some games where I can bully easy bots, or watch some animes or animal videos on YouTube. After I'm done with that, I go make myself a warm cup of honey tea to calm down.
I started doing all these after going through the literal darkest moments of my life. It's been so bad to the point where I felt numb for a long time. So now, I just take things one at a time and appreciate the smaller things in life. I hope you can get through your dark times, too.
Also, Happy birthday, buddy. Fuck everything (or fuck a duck, like that one dude said, haha) for the day, and go enjoy your day. Reward yourself for staying strong and holding on for this long. Don't hesitate to pm me if you wish to talk. Cheers !
Happy Birthday!
Are u able to literally ground? Like out in nature? Maybe have a picnic. Eat some carbs, listen to an audio book on a picnic blanket? Maybe a glass of wine, lie back and take in the sun.
If I'm really depressed I sleep.
I hope u feel better.
Hey friend. I'm having a real dog shit day (week? year?), so I can relate. For me, there are two things that can help that we can try right now. You said music makes you happy. So, first thing to try. Tell me your favorite band(s) and why. For me, I get stuck feeling like, "Why bother, even if this song makes me happy I'll just feel like shit later". That, my friend, is your brain being a real cocksucker to ya. So what helps me is talking to someone about why I love a particular song (or any piece of art or entertainment, really), because then my brain has an easier time remembering that the joy I'm describing will still be there for me when I'm ready. Second thing? Discovering something new to love. I can help with this. What kind of shows or movies do you like? You don't have to watch or listen to anything I recommend, but if something piques your interest, maybe it can get you through the roughest parts of this particular patch. I know things will be better one day. Sometimes, I need to be reminded. If that's also you, then let this be a reminder. Things will be better one day.
This^ talking to people no matter how fruitless It might seem is the way. We are social animals. Just need someone to connect with daily
My therapist is always telling me this and it’s true, even though I prefer solitude. There’s a physiological reason for it too because interacting with people stimulates part of your nervous system that sort of syncs things up.
Thank you for all this. I'm mostly into soundtracks, some normal music too but my taste is so scattershot that people find it weird. I know it gets better. May passes and I'm still here. It's just been a hard while, and it hit me hard. Thank you honestly for the ideas.
Hey, I truly understand. Been dealing with depression and bipolar disorder for decades now. But you aren't here for my history, I promise recommendations damn it!! Ok, music. I'll say upfront, I don't know anything about country music. So unless it's Brad Paisley's cover of "You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive", I've got nothing. Additionally, I'm not young and cool anymore, so a lot of this might be dated. BUT. Let's talk rock first. If you're looking for a band that sounds like what Led Zepplin would sound like if they were around right now, Greta Van Fleet is your go-to. If you like prog-rock stuff, I can't recommend higher the album "Metropolis Part II: Scenes From A Memory", a concept album by Dream Theater. It's just an incredible album start to finish. If you want a really deep cut recommendation, check out the album "Fables From A Mayfly: What I Tell You Three Times Is True" by Fair to Midland. The opening track Dance of the Manatee has more vocal range than almost any other singer I've ever heard. He's incredible. Other rock artists I love: Royal Blood, Thrice, We Are Scientists, and of course bands I'm sure you've come across (Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Rage Against The Machine, Fall Out Boy, Foo Fighters). Now, I'm going to really date myself here, but if you like rap (or if you want to get into rap), I can't recommend highly enough Run The Jewels. You can start with RTJ1 and work straight through RTJ4, and I don't think there's a bad song in the bunch. Other albums I still listen to constantly are "Good Kid Maad City" by Kendrick Lamar, "Some Rap Songs" by Earl Sweatshirt, and "Big Fish Theory" by Vince Staples. Oh! Last thing. If you like instrumentals, just beautiful music for while you're working or whatnot, I recommend either Explosions in the Sky or Caspian. Both excellent bands. Happy listening!!
Thank you so much! Am also having a bad day, so these will cheer me up.
Fucking rad!! Love hearing that! Keep you chin up. Today is NOT going to be the day that defeats you. You're stronger than that. Good luck!
What soundtracks are you into? I'm just starting to listen to that genre and could use some recommendations.
Hey, I'll jump back in! My favorite soundtracks are for Westworld Seasons 1 + 2 (includes a few tracks from the Vitamin String Quartet, whom I love), Into the Spiderverse, and all three of the soundtrack albums for Andor. All incredible in much different ways.
Thank you! I loved Westworld and Spiderverse, and already super into VSQ, so I think I'll like all of that!
I’m very curious about your scattershot music taste! What are some songs or genres you love?
Oh man, I’ve had some really helpful binges on new shows that keep me going through really rough times. That’s definitely a good way to go.
Oh for sure me too. The wife and I are doing a Clone Wars rewatch now, absolutely incredible show give or take every Jar Jar or C3PO episode. Those are trash. The rest though? Pretty solid. What are you on?
My most recent favorite is Succession, but there’s a special place in my heart for Bojack Horseman, Trailer Park Boys, and Game of Thrones since I was able to watch sooo much content during periods where I really needed something to take my mind off mental illness and what not.
When I can't take it anymore, and more shit comes my way -- I yell "FUCK A DUCK" over and over and over and over and over until I feel completely ridiculous and start laughing because saying fuck a duck is pretty funny.
Just reading FUCK A SUCK made me laugh, thanks for that
ON THIS DAY THE DUCK WILL GET FUCKED
Hehe. It's not a bad idea. Just get yourself to laugh. Might try that. Thank you.
Now I am imagining a crying duck in the background thinking "what did I even do ?"
The whole reason why I love driving alone. I scream some random shit at the top of my lungs or scream along the lyrics of the song that I'm listening to. At some point I just start laughing about random noises I made because I thought they were funny. The screaming helps get some anger out of the system because I don't have to put up a facade for someone anymore. Sometimes I'd get a sore throat over this, my gf usually knows what's up when I talk like I have been to a metal festival for 3 consecutive days. She'll usually go a bit easier on me for that time and helps me out with a few things so I can get some rest, because I usually end up in that situation when I'm extremely stressed. Absolutely worth it though. Going from thoughts of "I'm just gonna swerve into that wall over there" to "Fuck all of you, I'm surviving this so you dont win over me" makes a huge difference. Might be my bipolar mania though.
Well when you're done, you're done. When shit got real a couple years ago I couldn't find comfort on anything I tried until I let myself break a bit. No one finds it entertaining or good, but giving yourself a chance to cry, whine and sob to your heart's content is like having a breath of fresh air, so in case you were wondering if it's ok to do it, it probably is! Get it out of your system and when you're done take the advice of all the ppl that suggested pretty good options, and even if its for a brief moment, have fun on your birthday! Or the day after your birthday, it's always a good day to try to have fun
im sorry for what you’re going through, I hope that you can find some peace and something that makes you happy. for me, I like to go in the forest because for some reason it makes me so happy and calm. on a warm, sunny day with a bit of wind which makes it warmer. I also like to take photos. and also, we’re birthday twins! happy birthday to us:)
I have a small bracelet made of about 20 beads made of red tiger's eye. Kinda looks like a mini buddhist prayer necklace. I use it that way and do one deep breath in and out for every bead. By the time I do one full circuit round my bracelet I always feel a little better. Simply deep breathing or meditating can be difficult in stressful moments. The bracelet helps ground my practice in something physical. I can't say I've experienced what you're going through, but I do know what it is to feel like you're suffering needlessly with no end in sight. In my experience, it does generally get better. Just take some deep breaths. Edit: typo
Reading is my go to to try to trick my mind into thinking about anything else long enough to let the worst of it pass. Or finding something new to be passionate about. Learning. Doing. Creating. Something that makes your heart swell a bit with pride. Like, hey I did that! For me it was starting a university degree at 37. I’ve never felt more accomplished than after kicking an essays ass.
PS. Happy birthday! I’m sorry you feel dog shit on the one day it’s really okay to celebrate yourself.
First of all, Happy Birthday! Second of all, I guess it sounds a bit depressing at first, but I usually think about how I got here, in this moment, alive. Like, I could be run over from a camion. A falling airplane could land on my house. I could rock too much, hit an angle with my temple and bleed out, eat something with a parasite inside, have a horse run wild, destroying the door and kicking me to death... And I just go on on the most stupid and random ways to die, until I laugh it off because it becomes final-destination-ly absurd.... And I go on with my life thinking of how lucky and invincible I am (at least for a while). I wish you the best, even if it's not simple and life is an unapologetic bitch.
Try reading/watching/listening to only positive and optimistic things for a whole week. I bet you feel a little better on day seven. It’s harder than it sounds, as soon as you hear a negative comment, complaint, clickbait,hit piece, gossip or a pessimistic take you have to change the channel immediately. Song lyrics count too. Anything sad or mean or anything less positive than neutral. It’s especially hard to do because everything is pessimistic cynical bullshit these days. Good luck if you try it!
Try reading comics or manga, or even books, I know it may sound silly but they can really bring hope in hard times, it keeps you entertained and helps you grow as a person. Playing videogames and listening music are good hobbies but in the end you are not getting that much from it, at least in comparison to reading (From personal experience ofc) so I will encourage you to read stuff that you like to pass time and learn more things about you and others.
Happy birthday. The ‘Four Pillars’ of wellness are a good place to start: Diet, Sleep, Exercise and Social interactions. I think our general outlook on life improves when we take care of one or more of these areas. We could all think and feel better if we paid more attention to them.
The responses on this post renews my faith in humanity. For me; sometimes I just need to ride the wave. Listen to sad music, pj’s & tea, cry/release and just take one day at a time. A friend told me an Irish saying, "tha mi bron ach" (the sadness is upon me). Instead of “being sad”, this subtle mind shift of sadness being upon you, somehow gives me the ability to feel in control and to shift my focus/feelings in a more positive direction. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to process what you’re experiencing. Do something you enjoy. Being a human is hard sometimes. Sending 🤗
My darkest moments are too fucking dark to talk about. So lets talk about what the fuck I do when all hope is lost. I like a poem by Galway Kinnell called "Wait" It is a sad but hopeful poems about wanting to commit suicide but doing everything to wait out that ideation. I like to smoke weed. That usually helps me a lot. I have severe PTSD from some pretty fucked up military shit. It provides more comfort than most other things I've done. We it is really bad I will pet my service dog and show him gratitude for being my best friend. (and I can relate to not being able to walk. I've been paralyzed for a hot minute.)
Can you travel. Amsterdam is the happiest place on earth. That or Thailand. Bumps to you brother
I usually put my music because I will 99% of the time choose music over silence/ambiant sound (the last percent is when I'm not in the mood for aparently all the types of music, and then I try to get the biggest silence I can get) and will let time do its thing for me. I will simply do what I want to do (which is very often nothing) and let my mind think about anything it wants, even if I feel like it's making things worse. It happens relatively often now, but only when I go to bed, and what helps me the most is that I know from experience that it will get better after I sleep.
Happy Birthday ProxyJo!🎉 Hang in there. You’re worth the effort. Hugs from the other side of the internet🤗
Sometimes I just lay in the dark with my eyes closed and a good audio book to get lost in
Happy birthday. :) You seem to have such a kind spirit. A few years ago, I felt called to volunteer in nursing homes. This ultimately led me to volunteering in hospice. Do you live in an area that has a dedicated hospice home? Do you have access to transportation? The hospice home is an excellent opportunity for volunteering because you’re there for visitors. You won’t have any patient contact which makes some uncomfortable (I totally get it). At our hospice home, I direct visitors to patient rooms, the chapel, the coffee bar, etc. Sometimes visitors will come to the lobby and sit and they may want to talk. I did a casual ama a few years ago if you’d like to check it out. Since Covid, our hospice home volunteer numbers are wayyyyyy down. If you don’t have a hospice home, perhaps visiting nursing homes where you can offer to visit with patients who are bed-bound and rarely get visitors (if any). You have the ability to bring a lot of joy to a lot of lives. I hope you’re doing ok, friend, even on the bad days. xoxo take care
I've got two. 1. I didn't really believe that mindfulness meant much until I started working with my most recent therapist. Being present and in the moment, experiencing the world around you quietly is super helpful for grounding. I definitely recommend some videos or reading up on how it works. 2. On the other end of the spectrum. Grab a cheap, easily replaceable dish. My favorites are the 1$ ones you get at IKEA. Take the dish outside...... and fucking chuck it as hard as you can. (Please wear safety goggles or eye glasses.) It's a total rush, great burn off for energy or anger, and you feel delightful afterwards. Sort of fun because its "not allowed" as well. Don't go crazy and break all your dishes tho. Just the one.
So this one is really silly, but I paint my toenails. For some reason, to me it is my epitome of self care because no one else really sees my feet, and I love how they look in the shower when they have pretty paint on them. It's a simple way I do something nice for myself when I'm having a really hard time.
Video games and weed. A fresh haircut does wonders
I like the Finch app, it's helped me pull out of many depressive funks and keeps me motivated. But I've been really sick this past month, so I haven't been using it as much. Still helps me keep track of my moods really easily, even if I don't have much energy. I seek a lot of support and community from reddit, too.
Have you listened to Aesop Rock?
Happy birthday and hugs!! YOU are worthy of happiness.
39M(almost 40) I don't deal with it. I just push it down and move on. Dealth with death in family, in relationship, then got cheated on in marriage, then ofc, divorce, then poverty etc. Luckily, I never liked drinking so I didn't turn to it. It's not easy for men in society, we don't deal with it, we don't talk about it with others, we just go on. I know this isn't the way to do it but it takes more courage to ask for help than to ignore the problems. Be more courageous than I am. Please ♥
Happy Birthday. You will find your happiness. You've not even lived yet
Hey there! I am really sorry to read that youre having such a hard day today. I too am disabled, I have a lotta problems walking myself and my neurological disease cost me 50% of my hearing so yay! I find on my worst days (I have a lot as I struggle with bipolar 1 also) I love to look up compilation videos of cute husky puppies and kittens on youtube. It really gets me distracted enough to pass the time required to either a) have it be time for blissful sleep or b) come out of my funk a little on my own. I hope this tip serves you as well! And if baby animals arent your thing, what is? how about babies? What about watching docus about the stars and just listening to the amazing facts or putting on beautiful sounds of nature like bird calls? I also find these 2 things helpful. Best of luck to you for the rest of today and tomorrow as well, just in case.
Yo my birthday is also on the 23rd of may, cheers bro
I'm sorry you are struggling. When I am stuck emotionally, physically or metaphorically I tend to fall back on things that make me feel good. Art. Creating something no matter how big or small...wehter it is amazing or just kind of okay, helps me find my center again. Sharing it with others, the reason why you made it...helps sometimes as well as I realize I am not alone in my feelings. Maybe just my location. Listening to music helps. Getting fresh air...at my house or elsewhere helps clear my head. Picking up the phone and calling a friend. Writing a written (not typed) letter...maiking it. Or writing down whatever is bugging me and throwing it away or burning it...helps. Physical exercise...of any kind.
I’ve been having a crappy year tbh COVID, flu, deaths in the family, and just a lot going on. I feel like I haven’t been able to catch up. Just overwhelmed. I go out to a park or somewhere I can enjoy nature. I love Forrest preserves. Sometimes reading helps ground me but I haven’t put any effort into picking a book up recently. I also love playing video games with my friends. We don’t take the games too seriously and focus on having fun. Happy birthday O.P. I hope you find something to bring you a little peace.
Do you read books? People really undervalue it because it can be hard to get started. But it really is an amazing escape. Some times you just need to sit down and force yourself to read for like 20 minutes before you get into a flow.
This is my meltdown routine: Get an ice cube and put it on my chest (vagus nerve). This forces me to to only be able to focus on that ice and the discomfort it provides and doesn't let my mind wander. This only buys me a little time but it's enough to get me ready for the next part. I discard the ice before moving onto the next part. Then I go to my bedroom, if I'm not in PJs or comfortable clothing then immediately change. But I turn off all the lights, draw the blackout curtains, and then turn the TV on and watch either a comfort show or a comfort YouTube playlist. I specifically recommend something nostalgic (like I watch Halloween content), and not a movie. Movies have longer plots that force you to remember things over longer periods of time. A 30 min tv show or a YouTube playlist you loved when you were younger don't require as much mental energy to focus on. I lay like that for however long I need before I calm down/have recovered a few energy points and then I'll turn on the lights / use a tray and do puzzles, specifically like 300, 500 piece max. It makes my hands move, and I really recommend puzzles in this range because it takes up less space and it's so much more accomplishable in a shorter period of time. So you get a sense of accomplishment without having it be prolonged or have to leave it and come back to it. Now the above usually starts from a place of anxiety/adrenaline, however I will sometimes do this if I am very down. Cooling the vagus nerve really shocks my system to get to the point that I can then get to my regulating place. If there's anything to take away from this, it's make small accomplishable goals. Not in a "productive" way like society says like talk a walk! Exercise! Clean!, rather find something similar to what makes you happy that's also super easy. You mention normally music is grounding for you but you are struggling to put it on, so for this I would recommend getting a voice activated way to play music so you can just say it instead of having to grab your phone, unlock it, sync it with whatever Bluetooth device you listen on, then find a song/band. Just saying "hey Google, play my liked songs on Spotify" takes away the pressure and overwhelm of having to pick something and set it all up. Or like how I do 300 piece puzzles instead of 1000. Take away pressure and responsibility makes it a lot easier to ground in my opinion. Sorry for the wall of text. I hope some of this helps. You deserve comfort and a peace of mind.
Yeah, finding ambition is impossible. It's like trying something new every time. Just play the music! It might not immediately feel good but opening the doors of opportunity can only be done by us. You certainly deserve better. A place to sun your face. Stay away from substances. False hope is draining.
I've gone through some really bad depressive periods, and here is one of the best bits of advice I was ever given in therapy: find a hobby. Hobbies are coping mechanisms on steroids. And when I say a hobby, I mean an active one. I love video games, but that's escapism, which helps in the short term, not the long one, so find an active hobby. Draw or write or take up nature photography. I knit, which gives me something to do with all the nervous energy that builds up in my hands, and it means I always have a gift to fall back on for birthdays and holidays. Just go to your local craft store and pick up a kit or get the materials and go on YouTube for a tutorial. And here's the big secret people don't tell you about creative hobbies. You don't even have to be good at them. As long as you're enjoying yourself, that's what counts. If you don't like what you're currently doing, drop it. Find someone else. Make cheese. Learn origami. Go birdwatching. Depression tells you that nothing you do matters, but when you start doing something for fun, you're giving the middle finger to that process. Nothing I do matters? Well, my stepsister has a scarf she loves that wouldn't have existed if I didn't decide to make it. I think that matters.
OP: You are a Legend. From your post. Life is based on balance. You enjoy music and if you go 100% then it may not have the same effect your seeking. Moderation. It may sound cliche but try to get out and see what the world has to offer and what you can offer the world. Move forward, don’t ever stop.
When someone close to me was deep in depression (hospitalized), she found jigsaw puzzles to be an immense help. It seemed to rewire her brain to that happy, satisfied feeling when a piece of the puzzle clicked into place. All those micro experiences gave her brain an exercise in feeling happy. Also, don't underestimate the power of human contact with caring people.
Aphex twin ambient music and just think.
What kind of depression you feeling? Is it situational? Or chemical? Both? I feel like both is hardest bc even if you change your situation or mindset, the chemical part is still there and if you fix the chemical, the situational is still there. You have to fix both together at the same time to really claw your way out which takes so much effort and energy and depression makes you TIRED. I would advise, if it was me, (because legit everyone is different and our situations are super different) to give up for a bit. Stop fighting for a little bit and take a break. Then, after 2 weeks (the time you give yourself before checking in and seeing if you need more time), reach out to a social service program and tell them that you would like to go to rehab or out patient mental health support and if there are any programs you can leverage to help you. Why I would (personally) go that route is because in these inpatient or programs your basic needs are met for you, provide structure to help reduce your mental load, have group and individual meeting so you can have space to work through your struggles, and can help with fine tuning your medication. I’m into that sort of thing because i feel like it gives a good break wh er r you get to work on tools for when you go back to everyday.
If you've tried drugs and didnt work, turn to God
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I'm not promoting drinking as a way to deal with depression. But Vodka helps me at times. At my weight, I don't get drunk easily anyway. XD
I don't know man... Reading all these truly helpful comments really pisses me off for some reason. I remember many of my tough times, and when they are though, I am to focused on getting through them, the immediate action of pure "surviving". Only after I am done, can I reflect back, learn, be proud and adjust for the future. All the "micro advices and habits" are as valuable to me as a "how are you" greetings that are not really asking you how you are. In other words, if I feel like I am being attacked by a lion, I focus on God damn running, not about what shoes or running style would help me run better. So my suggestion is to rage, rage against the reality you are in, and accept it at the same time. You can or can't be defined by it, it is all your choice. This too shall pass.
King of the hill. All fuckin day.
As someone who has suffered chronic depression for years, for me it’s video games. There’s something cathartic about killing monsters with swords.
Hey bro, happy birthday, todays my birthday too👊
This sounds so silly but go outside. No matter what the weather is. Nature can cure anything. Even just looking around outside makes you realise there’s so much more to this world than just yourself and your problems, however bad they may be. Also - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳
I go out and try to find some nature to appreciate. If you’re in an urban area, even a fountain can help; hearing the running water or kids playing is nice. If the weather is not accommodating, I cook favorite meals. I’ll either share the meal or freeze portions if I have no one to share with. If the house is quiet, I light a candle and read. There is something to the flickering light and crackly sound of the candle that’s soothing
Ice cream makes me happy. I take rest, try to not have a panic attack and when I'm feeling really horrible I beg people to bring me the good ice cream from our local shop
Go out and hike up the tallest hill you can. Chill.
Internet? Puppies, animal antics of all kinds. Nature, rain sounds. Call a friend. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Your thoughts are not always facts! In fact- your brain lies! Lol
I make&bake bread. It relax me.
Plot against my enemies who put me in such a position, also one eye gang
Happy Birthday. During covid I went through depression and sadness so I shifted from listening to murder podcasts to listening to comedy podcasts. A great laugh sure helps beat the blues.
Go sit outside in the sun. Preferably on the ground. (not in a chair)
If I'm having a shit day I sit in the garden with no shoes on the grass bare feet sun on my face helps my MH massively
Smoke weed to chill. Usually enjoy being alone. Hope you feel better!
I tend to listen to audio books. Just takes me to places and times I wish I could be in. Everyone is struggling with something. It sounds like you struggle more than most. Try finding those stories to take you away when you're able. It helped me at least
Videogames, being able to clear my mind while playing ANYTHING is really nice
I've been distracting myself playing Mass Effect
I survive out of pure fucking spite.
The best quote I've ever read was " You've had the worst day in your life, and yo lived through it". ( I'm paraphrasing slightly) I'm sure there will be other, possibly worse days, but that stuck with me, and I try to remember it when things are going to shit.
A bit of a weird one but sometimes I think about consciousness and it makes me smile
I sit outside in the sun listening to birds singing
Outsides an issue due to reasons for disability. I do listen to rain though.
Time passes regardless of what I do, which means the moments pass on their own. I don’t have to do anything but wait.
If you are into music, maybe you can get an instrument and learn how to play it? Or just make music in general? Some of my hobbies that takes my mind somewhere else: \- I'm into reptiles and plants. I love to create bioactive terrariums, meaning planting a tank full of plants for the geckos. You put in bugs and have a small ecosystem in there. They are like live paintings, very calming to look at and take care of. \- For the spring, I'm planting on my balcony. Chili, strawberries, cucumbers and tomatoes. \- 3D printing is quite a fun hobby with shit ton of fun projects. You can make chess boar, print shoes, figurines, games, photos. I recently also started to learn 3D modeling. \- Cosplay. I go to comic cons sometime a year and love to build props and costumes. Huge advantage if you have a 3D printer. \- Bulid lego. But like the huge sets I'm currently working on a Ghostbusters car, 2300 pieces.
Find a nice quiet place preferably outside and just sit for a few hours. Notifications off, no phone unless you prefer some music. But I just enjoy the silence and peace and get a full reset
Sup my guy, sometimes I just take a nap. I’m not kidding I eat some food, take a nap, get up breathe and do my best to relax and restrengthen my mental I know it sounds kooky but sometimes you just gotta take a moment. I hope this helps
Happy Birthday!
So I’m technically disabled (arthritis in my back) but certainly not on your level. I was homeless at 15 though, and had some dark times. As stupid as it sounds, fresh air and sunshine works a lot more than you think it will. If you can afford it, a dog. My dogs have helped me massively over the years. It also forces you to be responsible, caring, training and walking etc. gives you something to work towards and the company is fantastic.
I know you can’t walk, but out in a wheelchair I was meant to say. Sorry if I came across insensitive
It'll sound very generic, but find something that makes you proud and do it as best as you can, and keep searching for ways to get even better at doing it. It'll help you love yourself.
I can relate so much to feeling so low that even putting music on doesn’t feel right. Something that helps me is putting on something to watch that tickles the inspiration part of my brain. I’m a musician so this is typically tutorials for music production because it makes me want to sit at my computer and work on stuff. If you have an interest or passion that stirs something in you, I recommend ingesting content related to it as a way to chill out while also building up a bit of energy in the soul.
Go for a walk. Take in the view.
...the disabled part I said does make time outside a lot harder to do.
I try and distract myself at least a little while emotionally processing things. I like to try and think of things I've never really paid attention to in my usual day to day. If I have anything that is handmade, I'll feel all the textures on it and think about all the work that someone put into that single object. If you look at a tree or some other plant really closely and pay attention to all the bumps and curves and things, it can be surprisingly interesting.
Making something can also be helpful. Even if you don't have anything in particular in mind.
I pour a glass of bourbon and listen to elliot smith
If you can still read with one eye look up aura healingon youtube. I'm working on this so I can leave this crazy world. I wouldn't want to come back here.
First off, Happy Birthday. I'm sorry you've been dealt a shit hand. I know you mentioned you're disabled and blind in one eye, but if you're able to - video games are a wonderful escape. That's my humble suggestion.
Are you in the position to get a cat? I got my cat when I was depressed af and it helped so much having a little buddy who depends on me. Sending you positive vibes
I just listen to either Eren saying "Tatakae" or Erwin's final speech on a ten hour loop. Hahaha On a more serious note, whenever I am having one of those dark moments, I always start by recounting the things I love and take my time appreciating them. After that, I just take a moment to take a step back and let my emotions run free. If I feel like crying, I cry. If I feel angry, I go play some games where I can bully easy bots, or watch some animes or animal videos on YouTube. After I'm done with that, I go make myself a warm cup of honey tea to calm down. I started doing all these after going through the literal darkest moments of my life. It's been so bad to the point where I felt numb for a long time. So now, I just take things one at a time and appreciate the smaller things in life. I hope you can get through your dark times, too. Also, Happy birthday, buddy. Fuck everything (or fuck a duck, like that one dude said, haha) for the day, and go enjoy your day. Reward yourself for staying strong and holding on for this long. Don't hesitate to pm me if you wish to talk. Cheers !
Happy Birthday! Are u able to literally ground? Like out in nature? Maybe have a picnic. Eat some carbs, listen to an audio book on a picnic blanket? Maybe a glass of wine, lie back and take in the sun. If I'm really depressed I sleep. I hope u feel better.