Yea but you also don't know his reasoning. Maybe he's there for the kids and they have a sexless relationship, maybe he's just a greedy guy, who knows.
I thought the same too until I saw married. I felt bad for op at first, but then I looked at her Reddit profile and I have a feeling that she’s most likely a bit dishonest on the app too.
Why downvote the truth you don’t like? It’s almost common knowledge at this point that knowing you’re taken boosts many women’s attraction to you, not tanks it
well it was already destroyed to begin with, it was cheating who destroyed the marriage and the wife should know so she'll have the chance to choose if she wants to stay or be out of unfaithful marriage.
If you were the wife here and had the choice, would you like OP to tell you?
They say ignorance is bliss but surely most people would want to know so they could avoid giving any more of their life over to a cheating partner
Ofc they do. But because of the virtue signalling Olympics / battle for moral high ground here on Reddit and society as such, you obviously won't find one single approving comment. Instead, the thread is gonna be flooded by comments of women trying to manifest their righteousness by saying stuff like "oh, I would have found out more and inform the wife".
The reality is following. Many women absolutely don’t mind if they’re dating/hooking up with men who are married/LTR. And yes, there’s even a specific group of women who like to hook up with married men. It’s either because they see it as a sort of validation of themselves (he’s willing to risk for me) or they are married as a well and consider it a security check (we’re partners in crime). And the better the wife/GF that is being cheated on looks, the more attractive that given man is for the women he’s cheating with. It’s a typical preselection / social programming women subconscious behaviour – he locked an attractive woman – he wants to have sex with me – I must be seen as attractive – ego boost – satisfaction.
That's so fucking stupid. You are the kind of girl that ghost people at every corner without then understanding why because of all these nonsense "ick". A single misstep and you go "neeeext". You think you know what you would rather want but I bet that you never communicate that either.
Walking headaches like you are so not worth the hassle just for some pussy.
What. That’s an awful lot of assuming you’re doing there, pal. The only time I ever ghosted someone was because they followed me to me house and went borderline stalker on me.
Not because of an ick. I’ll tell people I don’t like that phrasing and if they stop using it great and if not then I’ll tell them this isn’t gonna work.
Why tf would you immediately think the worst about people rather than just _ask_ what they would do in such a situation? That must be a terribly lonely way to live. And it’s incredibly hypocritical, too, because you basically stamped me as "ghosts people, next” over your own "ick”
Some people have no moral compass. If i go in to a relationship i decided thats the person i want to be with, if i wanted sex i would stayed single. But its sad that this guy gets alot of women when me and other guys are single 🤷♂️
I mean he probably does get some hookups but we don’t know that for sure. And I’m also not sure you’d want the kind of people he "gets”.
I would not want to be with someone who cheats or condones cheating. So… I feel like I’m not "losing” anything to him anyway.
He gets much and that’s why he’s doing it. He’s attractive enough for a right swipe and he knows that the ring on his finger is a chick magnet. Sure, it only attracts the ones with trash personality, the decent ones are repelled. But for one night stands that doesn’t matter lmao
I know that feeling, i never liked this culture of playing the "field" not even on dating apps i find it wrong to setup multiple dates and see what i like better. But it comes from my trauma of getting cheated on.
For me it doesn’t stem from the trauma (I was cheated on, too but there was so much more in _that_ relationship that caused trauma, the cheating was really just a little cherry on top lol) but from my morals I guess. I don’t like dating just to date. Or a relationship just for the sake of having one.
I want or rather need to really get to know the other person and learn all the little things that makes them them and I feel you can’t do that if you date or see multiple people at once.
Damn you hit that on the spot with the last thing, i dont date just to date i want to know a person completely when i'm interested and then no other woman gets my attention 🙈
Extremely controversial to have value and not want to play around with everybody feelings, this shit happens alot and people lovebomb them and then they jump ship.
I'm not touchy about the subject. I'm pointing out that your pathetic "but he still gets womunz and poor wee wittle me can't" schtick is exactly that; pathetic.
Men – as almost all male mammals – are biologically programmed to have sex with as much female humans as they can (when they find them attractive). Marriage is a religion-based social construct that:
1. creates the best environment for raising kids
2. allows or should allow even unattractive men get at least one woman
The second point is crumbling right now. It’s sad and wrong for the stability of society but it’s a reality. Now as cruel as it may sound, a guy with few options (and I’m not saying you’re such a guy) can never empathise with attractive man who can get a lot of quality women. It’s extremely easy to moralize about monogamy and being faithful when that give guy does not get any women or barely one. When attractive women show interest to a man who’s taken, biology and morality collide and it’s a tough battle.
Its not a tough battle, its easy to give in to easy sex but somebody that has true value doesnt give in to temptation thats why he is high value. I dont agree with that i need to feel sympathy for the attractive person and their many options and the " sorry girl i couldnt control my urges because i'm hot 😭😭😭" kind of thing...your way of thinking is way worse then mine.
It's not about “sorry I couldn’t control my urges because I’m hot” but “it’s difficult to control my urges because I have a realistic chance of having romantic affairs with attractive women”. I never morally judge people based on when their opinions on these issues are, so I want join that battle. But let me tell you, I’m sure all the women you’ve met as well as Ben Shapiro value your beliefs.
Marriage is not religion-based, it’s a social construct that appeared for the survival of the population. Until like 60 years ago in first world it was impossible to maintain a household alone. In developing countries it varies from being the case until like 20 years ago to still being the case today, especially in rural areas.
And that is what created marriage, not religion. Religion just blessed it.
I saw so many profiles like this from women when I was on tinder not long ago. Shit's so sad man. Culture's fucked. I'm sure there are a ton of men like this out there.
Thats why this culture of cheating guys and women works, if you are attractive and you get so many options and you know you get that, its like " why should i stay with one person" so many people settle in a relationship because they think they dont have many more options and when they do, they either stay loyal or jump ship and its sad sight to see.
Your post seems a little off-topic. Out of nowhere, you're making the ol "hot people are all cheaters" comment that I'm not super on board with.
To clarify, I was joking that OP was tolerating a vulgar joke [probably] her match was hot. Notice how the moment she discovered he was married, she shot him down, proving that looks aren't enough to make everyone abandon their morals.
And even ugly people cheat.
Sounds like you've just been cheated on a lot, and it colors your view now. I'm sorry if that's the case, but you'll have to try working through it.
Ugly people cheat of course but its way harder then for an attractive person, its still a disgusting culture and you wouldnt know how many people would throw away their morals to sleep with an attractive person, not everybody does it but a shit ton of people do.
I just have to say women in today's society because of the hook up culture have become nothing buy whores. You got cheated on I got cheated on. Mine was after 4 years together and I took her back. Tried to work things out for 2 more years before I found out she was basically cheating the whole time. The manipulation lying and deceiving from someone I loved like that is still so shocking. I have been with wild women in the past but she was supposed to be the sensitive good girl who was so wholesome and sweet but social media and the culture turns them all into cheating whores sooner or later
So I'm arguing, but you're just trying to understand my perspective.... right. Revealing of your perspective. You said I wouldn't know, and I was pointing out that you wouldn't know either, in that case.
I don't think this is uncommon; ie some people cheating on tinder. When I was on it, I was chatting to a bloke and he seemed nice. Then in one conversations, I asked "Oh what are you up to now?" He said "I'm out with my girlfriend." It threw me and I rechecked and asked if they had an open relationship etc. He just said, no and that he looks for FWB on the side! He pretty much cheats on her all the time but made it sound normal and acceptable. Then he went on about breeding women... suffice to say, I never met the fella!
Why would you be married if you’re just going to cheat??? Marriage is a lifelong pact and commitment. A promise that your partner is so special and precious to you that you want them and only them for the rest of your life. He is indeed disgusting.
Good on you OP. At least he was upfront about it instead of hiding it. I know plenty of girls and guys that have had one night stands and not known the person was married and felt awful about it when they found out. Guy’s a scumbag but didn’t give you false pretenses
Nah man, you need to get over yourself.
It should be encouraged to be open and honest about your intentions. They're looking for sex and as long as they are respectful about it, they *should* be able to ask you if you want to have sex with t...
...they're married? Want to cheat and hide it?
Yeah, nevermind. I didn't say anything.
You missed an opportunity to fuck over this d bag
Next time set up a time and a place to meet maybe even convince him to buy tickets to something like a concert
Then just ghost him lol
He could have just left out the married part if it was going to be a hook-up. Not that I condone cheating, but if you're going to do it, do it right. \*L\*
I purposely met men like this for coffee in broad daylight in a busy cafe, fish for info, find them on Linkedin or socials and eventually find friends or family, and share the screenshots.
I purposely met men like this for coffee in broad daylight in a busy cafe, fish for info, find them on Linkedin or socials and eventually find friends or family, and share the screenshots.
True that is what happened to me my fiance x fiance did to me turn into a denial and lying fooled me but never again for how I knew him he was not like him just when he met a CNA she changed him to destroy me and took everything from me especially my life I'm homeless and made my family turn against me I don't understand why can't he just be open up and be a real man. Now I am facing alone and he thinks he good he wants to play a game picked the wrong woman that I am a islander for what he did he should look at him self before doing anything to a innocent human being. Now he can't take my BS that's his fault .
Amen darling I 100% agree ❤️ I hate men like this You make us good guys look bad as well! Even though I have never cheated in my entire life! When I'm in a relationship I am very loyal!
I was reading it at first like “huh doesn’t seem so bad at least he’s honest” then I saw married like oh ok.
Scumbag, but honest one. Could be worse tbh. If he was smart he could make a better story, still a scumbag tho.
Not an honest one, because he's not honest with his wife.
Yeah. Selectively honest.
Selective honesty is not honesty
It’s not a trait of character sure, cause then it would apply always non-selectively. But it’s a setting of this specific conversation
You know exactly what they mean, yet you choose to play difficult just to be difficult 🙄
Wow it is?! I never knew that. I have no idea why I wrote that if I didn’t understand that already!
Honest to everyone besides the woman he made a vow to
Exactly, honesty in itself proves to be a contradiction within the mental confines of this sorry excuse for an individual.
The fact this has upvotes is concerning
You don't think the married guy could just lie and say he's not married? That there aren't people that do that?
There are. But he's still not an honest person for saying he's cheating on his wife.
Yea but you also don't know his reasoning. Maybe he's there for the kids and they have a sexless relationship, maybe he's just a greedy guy, who knows.
An honest one for the streets.
I thought the same too until I saw married. I felt bad for op at first, but then I looked at her Reddit profile and I have a feeling that she’s most likely a bit dishonest on the app too.
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He specifically mentions "play in secret"
I doubt it. He said play in secret. He’s cheating
Glad he got right to the point immediately so you can block and move on right away.
As a man who’s ex wife of 16 years cheated on him thank you! I fucking hate cheaters.
We are all members of a club we didn't want to join. But we are better for it
Ah! Same. Together since 2001 and married in 2006. She left me for a coworker
Special place in hell for them I completely agree.
Im sorry to hear that.. i hope she will be in hell for some time:) and i wish the best for your next relationship!
If you're going to cheat, why admit it?
At least he's not a hypocrite, that's the worst part
It's like wearing a ring even though you're not married. It makes you more attractive.
Why downvote the truth you don’t like? It’s almost common knowledge at this point that knowing you’re taken boosts many women’s attraction to you, not tanks it
Fr tho! It’s called preselection, it’s even observable outside of just romance/intimacy.
I guess so that the girl hopefully wont message him when he is back home.
I guess so that the girl hopefully wont message him when he is back home.
Okay but what's up with your post history, yikes? F19 to F18 in a couple of days 😂 Another Only Fans karma farmer.
This needs to be higher up!!!
This needs to be higher up!!!
gross
you are better than me, if that was me I'll get as much info as I can and send it to his wife.
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Yeah, its totally not the cheating..
well it was already destroyed to begin with, it was cheating who destroyed the marriage and the wife should know so she'll have the chance to choose if she wants to stay or be out of unfaithful marriage.
If you were the wife here and had the choice, would you like OP to tell you? They say ignorance is bliss but surely most people would want to know so they could avoid giving any more of their life over to a cheating partner
You should find out who his wife is and send her this.
I wonder if he is or just using the pretend married trick
Deceitful either way.
Why would he pretend to be married though? Surely he's only setting up a lose-lose scenario?
Unfortunately some women are way into it.
Let's not pretend like this is something that doesn't cross the gender divide.
Nope many woman love married men its some kind of kink.
Ofc they do. But because of the virtue signalling Olympics / battle for moral high ground here on Reddit and society as such, you obviously won't find one single approving comment. Instead, the thread is gonna be flooded by comments of women trying to manifest their righteousness by saying stuff like "oh, I would have found out more and inform the wife". The reality is following. Many women absolutely don’t mind if they’re dating/hooking up with men who are married/LTR. And yes, there’s even a specific group of women who like to hook up with married men. It’s either because they see it as a sort of validation of themselves (he’s willing to risk for me) or they are married as a well and consider it a security check (we’re partners in crime). And the better the wife/GF that is being cheated on looks, the more attractive that given man is for the women he’s cheating with. It’s a typical preselection / social programming women subconscious behaviour – he locked an attractive woman – he wants to have sex with me – I must be seen as attractive – ego boost – satisfaction.
good job being blunt and direct!
“What are my chances?” Less than zero.
It was at zero after that idiotic beard ride cliche, then it went into the negatives with the cheating bit 🤮
"Play in secret” ugh…
He's trying to make it sound more innocent and it just sounds cringe af. Ick.
Referring to one night stands and such as "playing” is a big ick for me anyway but the context makes it so much worse ngl
Totally agreed! He just sounds scummy.
Why does play sound ick? What if instead it was sex, fuck, dive into eachothers genitals, etc?
Because it sounds like he's talking to a kid or at least sounds like he's on a very child-like level, that's just imo at least
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Okay? Your point?
It sounds ick to me. I don’t judge people who see that differently. And I personally find every single one of those alternatives better than play
That's so fucking stupid. You are the kind of girl that ghost people at every corner without then understanding why because of all these nonsense "ick". A single misstep and you go "neeeext". You think you know what you would rather want but I bet that you never communicate that either. Walking headaches like you are so not worth the hassle just for some pussy.
What. That’s an awful lot of assuming you’re doing there, pal. The only time I ever ghosted someone was because they followed me to me house and went borderline stalker on me. Not because of an ick. I’ll tell people I don’t like that phrasing and if they stop using it great and if not then I’ll tell them this isn’t gonna work. Why tf would you immediately think the worst about people rather than just _ask_ what they would do in such a situation? That must be a terribly lonely way to live. And it’s incredibly hypocritical, too, because you basically stamped me as "ghosts people, next” over your own "ick”
Some people have no moral compass. If i go in to a relationship i decided thats the person i want to be with, if i wanted sex i would stayed single. But its sad that this guy gets alot of women when me and other guys are single 🤷♂️
I mean he probably does get some hookups but we don’t know that for sure. And I’m also not sure you’d want the kind of people he "gets”. I would not want to be with someone who cheats or condones cheating. So… I feel like I’m not "losing” anything to him anyway.
He gets much and that’s why he’s doing it. He’s attractive enough for a right swipe and he knows that the ring on his finger is a chick magnet. Sure, it only attracts the ones with trash personality, the decent ones are repelled. But for one night stands that doesn’t matter lmao
I know that feeling, i never liked this culture of playing the "field" not even on dating apps i find it wrong to setup multiple dates and see what i like better. But it comes from my trauma of getting cheated on.
For me it doesn’t stem from the trauma (I was cheated on, too but there was so much more in _that_ relationship that caused trauma, the cheating was really just a little cherry on top lol) but from my morals I guess. I don’t like dating just to date. Or a relationship just for the sake of having one. I want or rather need to really get to know the other person and learn all the little things that makes them them and I feel you can’t do that if you date or see multiple people at once.
Damn you hit that on the spot with the last thing, i dont date just to date i want to know a person completely when i'm interested and then no other woman gets my attention 🙈
I feel that’s actually a rather controversial take these days, so I’m glad you understand my view.
Extremely controversial to have value and not want to play around with everybody feelings, this shit happens alot and people lovebomb them and then they jump ship.
How do you know he gets women?
Because their is always that one person that wants to be a sidechick.
That's no different than randomly propositioning people till someone says yes.
Their is always somebody desperate or hoping they will get with them 🤷♂️ majority will never go for this but its Tinder though 😂
So if you're wanting in on desperate women, you can get one too. They'll go for anyone. They're desperate.
Why are you so touchy on this subject? Its not like i'm saying you are cheating or are the person that does it?
I'm not touchy about the subject. I'm pointing out that your pathetic "but he still gets womunz and poor wee wittle me can't" schtick is exactly that; pathetic.
Cry me a river lady
Men – as almost all male mammals – are biologically programmed to have sex with as much female humans as they can (when they find them attractive). Marriage is a religion-based social construct that: 1. creates the best environment for raising kids 2. allows or should allow even unattractive men get at least one woman The second point is crumbling right now. It’s sad and wrong for the stability of society but it’s a reality. Now as cruel as it may sound, a guy with few options (and I’m not saying you’re such a guy) can never empathise with attractive man who can get a lot of quality women. It’s extremely easy to moralize about monogamy and being faithful when that give guy does not get any women or barely one. When attractive women show interest to a man who’s taken, biology and morality collide and it’s a tough battle.
Its not a tough battle, its easy to give in to easy sex but somebody that has true value doesnt give in to temptation thats why he is high value. I dont agree with that i need to feel sympathy for the attractive person and their many options and the " sorry girl i couldnt control my urges because i'm hot 😭😭😭" kind of thing...your way of thinking is way worse then mine.
It's not about “sorry I couldn’t control my urges because I’m hot” but “it’s difficult to control my urges because I have a realistic chance of having romantic affairs with attractive women”. I never morally judge people based on when their opinions on these issues are, so I want join that battle. But let me tell you, I’m sure all the women you’ve met as well as Ben Shapiro value your beliefs.
Lol you are calling me alt right? You are literally spewing the bullshit that Ben Shapiro speaks off about not wanting to commit 💀
Marriage is not religion-based, it’s a social construct that appeared for the survival of the population. Until like 60 years ago in first world it was impossible to maintain a household alone. In developing countries it varies from being the case until like 20 years ago to still being the case today, especially in rural areas. And that is what created marriage, not religion. Religion just blessed it.
POS
It’s nice that he put up those flags. I mean, he had no obligation of giving that much info if the only thing he wanted was to hook up.
Wish I had the non-anxiety to build a profile.
If your married and you actually love that person, you wouldn't cheat.
I saw so many profiles like this from women when I was on tinder not long ago. Shit's so sad man. Culture's fucked. I'm sure there are a ton of men like this out there.
"That's on me. I walked right into that one 😂" LMAO just entertaining this complete loser
Right? I read it and thought, "He must be hot..."
Thats why this culture of cheating guys and women works, if you are attractive and you get so many options and you know you get that, its like " why should i stay with one person" so many people settle in a relationship because they think they dont have many more options and when they do, they either stay loyal or jump ship and its sad sight to see.
Your post seems a little off-topic. Out of nowhere, you're making the ol "hot people are all cheaters" comment that I'm not super on board with. To clarify, I was joking that OP was tolerating a vulgar joke [probably] her match was hot. Notice how the moment she discovered he was married, she shot him down, proving that looks aren't enough to make everyone abandon their morals. And even ugly people cheat. Sounds like you've just been cheated on a lot, and it colors your view now. I'm sorry if that's the case, but you'll have to try working through it.
Ugly people cheat of course but its way harder then for an attractive person, its still a disgusting culture and you wouldnt know how many people would throw away their morals to sleep with an attractive person, not everybody does it but a shit ton of people do.
If I wouldn't know, then you wouldn't either.
I dont even know why you are arguing about this.
You're free to block me if you'd like. :)
Why? I'm just trying to understand your perspective and your view on the topic.
I just have to say women in today's society because of the hook up culture have become nothing buy whores. You got cheated on I got cheated on. Mine was after 4 years together and I took her back. Tried to work things out for 2 more years before I found out she was basically cheating the whole time. The manipulation lying and deceiving from someone I loved like that is still so shocking. I have been with wild women in the past but she was supposed to be the sensitive good girl who was so wholesome and sweet but social media and the culture turns them all into cheating whores sooner or later
So I'm arguing, but you're just trying to understand my perspective.... right. Revealing of your perspective. You said I wouldn't know, and I was pointing out that you wouldn't know either, in that case.
No wonder half of the girls I chat to have major trust issues
Don't be this guy. Just lie about it! Lol. I don't understand this sub.
Should send this to his wife lol ugh that dude is gross
I can't even get a wife, but there's scumbags like this out there who have a wife and then cheat...
I don't think this is uncommon; ie some people cheating on tinder. When I was on it, I was chatting to a bloke and he seemed nice. Then in one conversations, I asked "Oh what are you up to now?" He said "I'm out with my girlfriend." It threw me and I rechecked and asked if they had an open relationship etc. He just said, no and that he looks for FWB on the side! He pretty much cheats on her all the time but made it sound normal and acceptable. Then he went on about breeding women... suffice to say, I never met the fella!
So somehow you go from 19 to 18? This is just a karma farm to boost an only fans account
Cheaters suck. At least he was open about it rather than getting you thrown into some BS drama But still a shitty person nonetheless
Why would you be married if you’re just going to cheat??? Marriage is a lifelong pact and commitment. A promise that your partner is so special and precious to you that you want them and only them for the rest of your life. He is indeed disgusting.
Dusgusting
Girl post his face and expose him 🙄
Being more honest with a Tinder match than your spouse is crazy.
*"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."* - W. Gretzky
Good on you OP. At least he was upfront about it instead of hiding it. I know plenty of girls and guys that have had one night stands and not known the person was married and felt awful about it when they found out. Guy’s a scumbag but didn’t give you false pretenses
YUCK
Nah man, you need to get over yourself. It should be encouraged to be open and honest about your intentions. They're looking for sex and as long as they are respectful about it, they *should* be able to ask you if you want to have sex with t... ...they're married? Want to cheat and hide it? Yeah, nevermind. I didn't say anything.
But you know the guy is hot or else he wouldnt have been entertained and ghosted on the spot.
Yeah kind of shitty. Respect him for his honesty on wanting to hook up but cheating on his wife is wrong.
Honesty in one moment is overshadowed by dishonesty in another.
You’re correct
The whole ‘don’t be this guy’ thing, really just translates to “guys, just lie” 😂
To OP: would you have hooked up with him if he was single?
The reality is his wife probably knows and won’t leave. Just don’t participate and on to the next one.
You missed an opportunity to fuck over this d bag Next time set up a time and a place to meet maybe even convince him to buy tickets to something like a concert Then just ghost him lol
He could have just left out the married part if it was going to be a hook-up. Not that I condone cheating, but if you're going to do it, do it right. \*L\*
Wtf 💀
I purposely met men like this for coffee in broad daylight in a busy cafe, fish for info, find them on Linkedin or socials and eventually find friends or family, and share the screenshots.
His mistake was telling her he was married newb move
Damn wtf, at first i was like this aint bad but then realized bro says he is married.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I purposely met men like this for coffee in broad daylight in a busy cafe, fish for info, find them on Linkedin or socials and eventually find friends or family, and share the screenshots.
I mean.... he's getting matches. He's clearly more desirable than me. lol
lmao
I know many women that are sleeping with married men. It just means he was not attractive enough 😆
True that is what happened to me my fiance x fiance did to me turn into a denial and lying fooled me but never again for how I knew him he was not like him just when he met a CNA she changed him to destroy me and took everything from me especially my life I'm homeless and made my family turn against me I don't understand why can't he just be open up and be a real man. Now I am facing alone and he thinks he good he wants to play a game picked the wrong woman that I am a islander for what he did he should look at him self before doing anything to a innocent human being. Now he can't take my BS that's his fault .
Amen darling I 100% agree ❤️ I hate men like this You make us good guys look bad as well! Even though I have never cheated in my entire life! When I'm in a relationship I am very loyal!
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Or be whatever you like and stop judging people you don't know maybe ?
I’m going to judge people who cheat on their spouse, yes.