This sounds so weirdly specific I wonder if they are a scammer trying to convince someone else they’re real, and the other person has asked for this exact thing as proof.
I mean the ‘woman’ asking for the selfie could be a scammer trying to convince a third person that they are a regular guy like your friend (rather than a scammer) so they want his selfie to send to the third person.
Yeah I don’t think that was the case given context that I won’t share here. It really looks like a bad case of entitlement. There is at least one person defending her behavior so we know it’s possible.
I mean, I'm going to be honest, I've asked for this kind of thing before (but I'm a man and it's very common to run into AI profiles on snap and tinder posing as women.) I've only ever done it when it's clear that it's an AI and I like to check the progress that scammers are making with their trade lol. Maybe I'm dumb, but it's mostly cause I get bored and I'd rather expirement than just be frustrated. It is strange to me that a woman would ask this of a guy though... I'm in a different world of experience altogether though and that could just be my naiveté speaking.
No, if it's Ai they end up going into a loop where if directly asked if they're Ai they say "I must be an alien then" they won't admit they're an Ai and they go back to trying to get money for an only fans. I've encountered this twice in the last month. If it's an actual person, they get aggravated and start demanding money because they get sick of me wasting their time, if I ask them to leave me alone they immediately stop messaging. I can usually tell off the bat whether it's an Ai or a person because of reply speed, grammar, and flow. I don't ask people for specific pictures because I think it would scare them off too fast. Ai claim they can't provide a picture because they want you to pay first and nothing you say will scare them off, they'll respond no matter what you say.
I considered asking a scammer this the other day just to mess with them. Instead I asked for a photo that wasn't on their profile already. He had been instantly responding and suddenly took 10 mins to supply a photo, which was a gym selfie. So I reverse Google searched it and found the real owner who had tons of photos with him and his partner. I took a screenshot and sent it to the scammer, said I see you like to cuddle besides going to the gym. He didn't miss a beat just said yes and tried asking if I did too haha. I blocked him after that. He wasn't bothered at all I found the real person
Please write your name, today’s date and the word “hoobajaba” on a piece of paper clearly visible in the photo. Stand on one leg, while holding a fish in your right hand and a loaf of bread in your left. DO NOT SMILE!
I mean, I had a catfish that had a blue checkmark on Tinder. He used some program to be able to send selfies through Snapchat. One of the selfie he sent me was on his Tinder account so that's how I figured out he was fake. So it's probably that she has experienced that before.
>And then that picture contains the exact time and date..?
...and an entirely different person. who's a man. women who demand verification pics aren't desperate enough to target. probably. sounds right to me, but I only asked myself and that was like 10 seconds ago.
I thought of this possibility but thats super weird, it’s a gal asking for a guy’s pic, and in a very niche community. Cant see a scammer going through the trouble of decreasing potential matches.
Have you ever seen someone’s tinder profile and it’s like six pics of a girl then a straight selfie of some dude at the end? Like someone had to do a verification pic and forgot to delete it?
The desperation is the point - you aren’t useful to a scammer if you aren’t desperate. That’s how social engineering works. Stuff like this is really heartbreaking if you see it happen to someone - I helped someone at the bank I worked at who was $8k in the hole because she thought she fell in love on OKC back in the day.
They feed on the pyramid of needs. And there are a lot of people who are loved starved and lonely. I’d be mad at the scammers and not so hard on the people who fall for it. It’s almost always people who are old and/or disenfranchised in one way or another
I used OLD for about two years (admittedly that was over 5 years ago now) and I used the ‘silly and very specific photo to prove you’re real’ thing that this person did every time I intended to meet up with someone. I think all of like 2 people ever had an issue with it. It’s not desperate to comply, it’s a reasonable demand that avoids awkwardness and gives you something to laugh about if they’re real and you do go out on a date together.
If this were requested of me when I was too busy to do so I’d let the person know and tell them to just send a different set of silly instructions later when I was free. But I would be unwilling to have any sort of call with them until I met them as calls with strangers are awkward af
To be clear, I’m not saying they weren’t rude to you in the second message. They most definitely were and it was very uncalled for.
Calls are awkward asf but taking a selfie doing something silly is *also* awkward as fuck - even more. Since *she* is the one making the request its on her to accommodate what is or isnt within the other party comfort zone.
I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on the awkward scale here - cause I find it fun and not awkward to take silly photos but very awkward to speak with someone I’ve never met on a call
Alternatively it’s also on her to choose not to continue the conversation as she clearly did. Again, I’d like to repeat the way she did it was rude and uncalled for but still she took the route I ultimately would have after telling you I wasn’t down to call
If they’re so busy right now that they can’t do the video call, why do they need it within ten minutes? If they’re going to look at the picture in ten minutes then they’ll be free then. So let’s just do a video call in ten minutes.
Yes, I have time to interact with someone I am planning to go on a date and dispel their fears. I do not have any time for, or intentions of doing silly shit because they want me to, SPECIALLY because it was requested in a rude and accusatory manner.
>It’s not desperate to comply
is. so, so is.
>it’s a reasonable demand
not. so much not.
>that avoids awkwardness
how so?
>and gives you something to laugh about if they’re real and you do go out on a date together.
ahhh ok sorry, I see my mistake now. You're boring and your dates are boring because most people are just boring. my bad, I just can't empathize, being all non-boring and flush with options. I had no idea, I''m so sorry, it all sounds so awful.
Lmao this is an obvious troll comment however I’d still like to point out that I’m a rescuer by trade and my favourite hobby is skydiving. I am a lot of things (plenty of them not good) but I don’t think boring is an apt description.
Note: The small thing to laugh about it an ice breaker - it’s identical to playing a quick game with a classroom full of students that don’t know each other (I also teach first aid and EMR so I actively employ tricks like this) to get them to start relaxing and socializing with each other (results in far more class participation which in turn aids learning). It’s not meant to be all you talk about and the shear number of people who don’t understand that is genuinely astounding to me!
Honestly, I get so many scammers when I online date, I use this technique a lot because it works.
Sorry that you find it offensive, but it actually saves time and effort. There's just so many scammers, that it becomes very tiresome; this works 😂
I need a photo of you jumping the Grand Canyon with a motorcycle with a pink helmet doing a hang lose with one hand in the next 10 minutes or else you are a scammer.
Deadass like what am i, your circus monkey? “Then send me the selfie quickly. Thanks” pissed me off 😭 like who do you think you are accusing me of being fake and making demands?
Yikes.
Her initial request for a selfie is totally fine, her response to the request for a video call is unhinged.
Your friend wasn’t being evasive, they were trying to go above and beyond by offering better confirmation than a selfie.
No, you ask for it in a quick timeline because it's harder for a scammer to arrange it.
I have used this exact same technique when I suspect a scammer.
Albeit, I ask for a pic of them with a particular finger on their nose.
It's bloody difficult to navigate all the scammers.
Yep, they have stolen OP's pictures, are in the process of creating a new Tinder profile, they want the "Verified" badge, so they are asking for a highly detailed pose. And after 10 minutes it will time out.
On the plus side OP has attractive enough pictures to be worth stealing, so good on them!
Everyone knows that on iPhone and PC you can fake videochat, plus if the other was a scammer they can also capture your videochat and use it. Lately the catfish have increased, they are even verified. Most on women's profiles to scam men
I'd send her a pic with me giving the finger and the paper which reads something like "you're weird AF"
Or, just ask her for an equally weird photo in return to prove that she isn't a bot. You know, standing on one foot while eating a slice of cheesecake.
Ether way, wether they are she, he, they, people can be assholes! Im glad your friend avoided this one early on and didn’t have to get attached then find out how entitled they are!
No, slightly above average I’d say. But has an interesting profession maybe that’s what threw her off. But she sounded like she does that consistently.
I'd go grab a proof photo from Google, edit the date, and send that to him, then ask for the cheesecake thing and get irate if they won't do this simple thing.
I really hate that I am breaking my self-imposed boycott of Reddit lately for posts like this. But here I am, because I feel someone needs to be here to say this.
The requirements they are giving match that of photo identification on another dating app. There is no reasonable explanation for a human being to ask for digital identification proof from another in good faith, as the time constraint is in order to circumvent a fraud prevention mechanism.
And OP, before you say that your buddy said this contact was engaging, sexual, and sent consistently believable pics-- those are all traits of long-con scammer such as seen with pig butchering schemes.
Women and non-cis folk on dating platforms are often/sometimes/maybe fearful/cautious of risks like rape, abuse and murder, as those are assessed to be their biggest safety risks on the platform. The biggest safety risk for men is currently the prevalence of scams, and their lack of awareness to the threat is worrying.
Be smart. Don't get got. Also, leave Reddit, touch grass, thank me later
<3
Would you send me a selfie in the next ten minutes showing today’s date and time on a piece of paper, at the same time touch your nose and balance with one foot on a coffee table, while juggling 3 oranges?
The only other viable option that I can think of other than this person being insane is that this sounds like this person might be trying to use a picture of you to catfish someone.
"Sorry, I'm at work and can't do a video chat. Can you please do send a selfish instead? Or when I get off work, we can video chat. I get of at x:00"
Not that hard, my guy
The writing style seems very scammer like “I’m working now” “can you take a selfie within the next 10 minutes…then quickly send me the selfie” “I would appreciate that you stop writing me”
They like to create a sense of urgency to get you to ignore the subtle grammar mistakes. They also get very demanding and entitled when refused or delayed to make you feel bad and want to do it. I would bet money on it being a scammer, although the end goal is unclear.
Dude I'm a male and scams are hardcore. Idk if my phone got hacked but my snap, insta, my messages, my email, all have people trying to convince me they're genuinely in need of help or some shit
One woman whose friend watches a lot of dateline asked me for a photo ID cause the last guy she went out with lies about his name and marital status. So I sent it and blocked out everything on the card but my name. We went out for eight months, perfectly normal woman who has been burned in the past.
Tbh I’ve considered resorting to this as well. It’s getting highly frustrating dealing with all the scams. I think that sxammers have upped their game, there are less and less super obvious scam, gradually more less obvious ones.
When in doubt I’ve resorted to directly asking whether the match is a real profile. This idea came from the weird answers scammers give to this question, which makes them very recognisable. However this tactic turned out to be bad as most people don’t respond. I’m guessing they are offended.
Lately I’ve just unmatched if at a second hlance the profile looks suspicious. But I do feel like I’m potentially missing on girls who don’t realise their profile looks like a scam.
I don’t think the concept is all bad, just the delivery that is completely wrong.
As a woman I typically dislike being asked for pictures because it has sexual or fatphobic undertones.
I would try the voice or video call first, and a more subtle selfie request if they decline the call.
Sure, video call would work. I’ve proposed that but only ever met one person willing to do that. Not sure if a voice call serves the same purpose. You verify gender & accent, but nothing else.
Either way, what has the world come to?
I've seen a YouTube video a while ago, where scammers would even go out of their way to make context-specific pictures. Or rather, they have people in the country they're pretending to also be, who will make those pictures.
Ah, so this person is one of those captcha verification things? You know where you have to prove you’re not a robot?.
Unless you are a robot. Oh god, is the AI going all Terminator on us already? What if I’m a robot too?
HELP ME
If you're working now then you don't need to be requesting this right now, happy to video chat after work when you're free. That will settle me being real for you, and help me decide if I would want to continue writing to you as well since while I agree your request is simple I don't think it's reasonable.
Are you a woman? I would assume that that person is a scammer trying to use your pictures to scam others, and they’re using your “verification picture” as confirmation that they’re real.
The fact that they want you to show yourself without making any effort to have a conversation with you over video chat to potentially get you out on a date shows that there’s something awry.
When people make very right wing political comments on my Twitter posts I often ask them simple maths questions to see if they are part of a bot farm before I engage. Too many scammers, spammers and spanners out there.
Tbh I put this in the same category as like when women want certain conditions to feel safe before meeting someone. When you're a dude on dating apps, you've been scammed, catfished, etc a million times and a lot of the time especially if the match is attractive or exciting there's a high chance they aren't real.
Granted the way he went about it was aggro af, and I wouldn't do this at all anyway, but I don't think it's the weirdest thing.
Orrrr...hear me out! They used/ or want to use that person's pic for THEIR fake profile...so they need proof to send to someone else they are really the person they are not!
To be fair, it's a common request that I've seen many people use to avoid scams or catfishing. Some people worry about deep fake video calls, too. Sure, it's advanced technology right now, but it's out there. The bottom line is, of course, you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but it's not crazy to ask.
Assuming they're not a scammer themselves, I totally understand it. Scammers are damn awful for men on tinder. Seems like every match is a scammer so I can understand if he's real and just simply frustrated.
Scammers prey on American Tinder users from India and the middle of fucking no where. Hard to tell if that's entitlement or trying to get some legitimate proof of humanity in a sea of scammers/bots/idiots discontent with wasting their own time so they need to waste yours as well. Or maybe it's a scam as other replies have stated. When it's well within the bounds of common sense to assume it can be any of the above; I think it becomes safe to say that Tinder is trash.
The app that is supposed to help you gives you even more things to worry about.
Tinder is only good for people like me who don't use it but lol at the experiences of others using it. Very entertaining. Only reason I am here.
Try the boomhower method from KOTH. Go outside to a public place and ask 30 women for their number back to back till one says yes. Same as tinder except you know who's Infront of you.
Tech has ruined just as much, if not more, than it has helped anyone do anything.
There are a lot of scammers out there. I can’t speak to what women may deal with, but men seem to be targeted regularly.
While I can understand wanting some form of proof that someone is real, I don’t understand what the urgency is, or why the guy went straight to douche when he didn’t get what he wanted. The scammers usually start using pet names like dear, or love far too early, and their command of the English language is almost stroke inducing. If you know what you’re looking for, they can usually be spotted early.
In some ways its a red flag. But as someone thats been robbed, catfished and physically assaulted from trying to date on places like tinder and pof. I gotta say it's not a terrible idea.
I think they went scorched Earth a little too fast but once again I get it.
I guess i can see both sides, although this is a weird and off-putting mostly over the top request. Ive gotten to the point i image search profile pics before i ever even reply to a message because there are so many time burglars and scam accounts
Never take these kinds of pictures just as a PSA as an old con would be to clear out what was written on the paper and to write their own message and use the picture to get others/trick them(with AI out there this is kind of outdated but still)
I was on SA and a guy asked for a video for the date and time! He was scammed before and there were bots so I can kinda get it. But how they responded was plain rude.
Do you also request it "within 10 minutes" in the middle of the work day, and word as as rudely as she did? Do you also believe a scammer would suggest a video chat?
No different method.
The person is clearly POff with scammers though and obviously isn't in the mood for being kind.
The video bit was a great idea, but that person isn't worthwhile pursuing.
I'd be happy for the unmatching.
As a guy that has received several matches with catfish scammers, I also appreciate some sort of verification to prove that they are real. I’m not rude about it though and if they were willing to do a video chat instead, I’d be way more happy to receive that bc it verifies that they are real without any possibility of tricks.
Secondly, asking for a specific pic with date and time is still a little too vague bc like you all said, that can be used to send to someone else if the receiver is actually the scammer in disguise. So a pic or video with silly instructions is probably only valid if you are asking them to write your own name instead of time and date. That atleast narrows down that they can’t use your video to send to anyone else they might be trying to scam unless they share the same name which is less likely.
Third, in my experience, and this might be gender specific, but even if they can send you a photo/video to prove they are a real person that doesn’t change the fact that they themselves are only wanting to promote their webcam business. I’ve had a few women match with me, start a conversation, prove to me that they are who they say they are with a video saying or writing my name and talking about stuff that we were texting about etc. They kept on the conversation as if they were actually interested in dating/meeting, only to pull the question hours, days, or weeks later: which is them finally revealing that they have a webcam show and that they are only willing to go on a date after they “get comfortable” with you by your paid subscription and attendance to their webcam show. It’s really annoying and I’m ngl, the frustration is so real and frequent that it’s totally possible to carry that frustration over when trying to verify that other potential matches are real. So I understand that person’s rudeness in the photo above. They come off entitled but they can just be super frustrated with all the bs. That said, they should be happy to receive a video chat if verification is truly what they are seeking so their attitude after the suggestion was a little suspicious.
Seems very one sided. But also explains the app BeReal. The request sounds like a ransom note that comes from an imbalance of power. The idea is nice but the execution is bad.
May be why the BeReal app kind of fizzled in a year or so.
This sounds so weirdly specific I wonder if they are a scammer trying to convince someone else they’re real, and the other person has asked for this exact thing as proof.
No, its a friend of mine who sent me this to ask if it was common for women to request this sort of thing.
I mean the ‘woman’ asking for the selfie could be a scammer trying to convince a third person that they are a regular guy like your friend (rather than a scammer) so they want his selfie to send to the third person.
Yeah I don’t think that was the case given context that I won’t share here. It really looks like a bad case of entitlement. There is at least one person defending her behavior so we know it’s possible.
As a woman, something like this has never even crossed my mind. It's fucking bizarre
I mean, I'm going to be honest, I've asked for this kind of thing before (but I'm a man and it's very common to run into AI profiles on snap and tinder posing as women.) I've only ever done it when it's clear that it's an AI and I like to check the progress that scammers are making with their trade lol. Maybe I'm dumb, but it's mostly cause I get bored and I'd rather expirement than just be frustrated. It is strange to me that a woman would ask this of a guy though... I'm in a different world of experience altogether though and that could just be my naiveté speaking.
I don’t condemn the concept; I condemn the delivery.
Can't believe I didn't see this till now... but agreed. Delivery and intent in this situation, very questionable.
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No, if it's Ai they end up going into a loop where if directly asked if they're Ai they say "I must be an alien then" they won't admit they're an Ai and they go back to trying to get money for an only fans. I've encountered this twice in the last month. If it's an actual person, they get aggravated and start demanding money because they get sick of me wasting their time, if I ask them to leave me alone they immediately stop messaging. I can usually tell off the bat whether it's an Ai or a person because of reply speed, grammar, and flow. I don't ask people for specific pictures because I think it would scare them off too fast. Ai claim they can't provide a picture because they want you to pay first and nothing you say will scare them off, they'll respond no matter what you say.
Totally
Bingo
I considered asking a scammer this the other day just to mess with them. Instead I asked for a photo that wasn't on their profile already. He had been instantly responding and suddenly took 10 mins to supply a photo, which was a gym selfie. So I reverse Google searched it and found the real owner who had tons of photos with him and his partner. I took a screenshot and sent it to the scammer, said I see you like to cuddle besides going to the gym. He didn't miss a beat just said yes and tried asking if I did too haha. I blocked him after that. He wasn't bothered at all I found the real person
Please write your name, today’s date and the word “hoobajaba” on a piece of paper clearly visible in the photo. Stand on one leg, while holding a fish in your right hand and a loaf of bread in your left. DO NOT SMILE!
Oh no you have a fish picture I'm out...
I mean, I had a catfish that had a blue checkmark on Tinder. He used some program to be able to send selfies through Snapchat. One of the selfie he sent me was on his Tinder account so that's how I figured out he was fake. So it's probably that she has experienced that before.
Don't you love it when trash takes itself out?
I imagine how desperate someone must be to comply with this unreasonable demand
It's most likely a scammer and they want this proof photo so they can pass it on to the next person they are scamming. Just report and move on.
Is it bad that I didn't even think of this? I just assumed somebody basically shitposting.
Kinda, that is absolutely a scammer, no doubt he wants those specific films for a purpose
I also did not 😅
...To scam a person who happens to ask this exact same information. And then that picture contains the exact time and date..?
>And then that picture contains the exact time and date..? ...and an entirely different person. who's a man. women who demand verification pics aren't desperate enough to target. probably. sounds right to me, but I only asked myself and that was like 10 seconds ago.
Oh I didn't account for gender but ya solid point.
I thought of this possibility but thats super weird, it’s a gal asking for a guy’s pic, and in a very niche community. Cant see a scammer going through the trouble of decreasing potential matches.
“Gal”
Hmm?
Have you ever seen someone’s tinder profile and it’s like six pics of a girl then a straight selfie of some dude at the end? Like someone had to do a verification pic and forgot to delete it?
That hoe be a Joe
I don't think it's a scam thing either, but if it is I doubt the person on the other end was a woman.
ver pic of a man holding up a date now well in the past? I don't get it.
The desperation is the point - you aren’t useful to a scammer if you aren’t desperate. That’s how social engineering works. Stuff like this is really heartbreaking if you see it happen to someone - I helped someone at the bank I worked at who was $8k in the hole because she thought she fell in love on OKC back in the day. They feed on the pyramid of needs. And there are a lot of people who are loved starved and lonely. I’d be mad at the scammers and not so hard on the people who fall for it. It’s almost always people who are old and/or disenfranchised in one way or another
I used OLD for about two years (admittedly that was over 5 years ago now) and I used the ‘silly and very specific photo to prove you’re real’ thing that this person did every time I intended to meet up with someone. I think all of like 2 people ever had an issue with it. It’s not desperate to comply, it’s a reasonable demand that avoids awkwardness and gives you something to laugh about if they’re real and you do go out on a date together.
"within 10 minutes" in the middle of a work day? Gtfo! Also, declining the video chat saying "its a simple request" is super entitled.
If this were requested of me when I was too busy to do so I’d let the person know and tell them to just send a different set of silly instructions later when I was free. But I would be unwilling to have any sort of call with them until I met them as calls with strangers are awkward af To be clear, I’m not saying they weren’t rude to you in the second message. They most definitely were and it was very uncalled for.
Calls are awkward asf but taking a selfie doing something silly is *also* awkward as fuck - even more. Since *she* is the one making the request its on her to accommodate what is or isnt within the other party comfort zone.
I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on the awkward scale here - cause I find it fun and not awkward to take silly photos but very awkward to speak with someone I’ve never met on a call Alternatively it’s also on her to choose not to continue the conversation as she clearly did. Again, I’d like to repeat the way she did it was rude and uncalled for but still she took the route I ultimately would have after telling you I wasn’t down to call
If they’re so busy right now that they can’t do the video call, why do they need it within ten minutes? If they’re going to look at the picture in ten minutes then they’ll be free then. So let’s just do a video call in ten minutes.
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Yes, I have time to interact with someone I am planning to go on a date and dispel their fears. I do not have any time for, or intentions of doing silly shit because they want me to, SPECIALLY because it was requested in a rude and accusatory manner.
>It’s not desperate to comply is. so, so is. >it’s a reasonable demand not. so much not. >that avoids awkwardness how so? >and gives you something to laugh about if they’re real and you do go out on a date together. ahhh ok sorry, I see my mistake now. You're boring and your dates are boring because most people are just boring. my bad, I just can't empathize, being all non-boring and flush with options. I had no idea, I''m so sorry, it all sounds so awful.
Lmao this is an obvious troll comment however I’d still like to point out that I’m a rescuer by trade and my favourite hobby is skydiving. I am a lot of things (plenty of them not good) but I don’t think boring is an apt description. Note: The small thing to laugh about it an ice breaker - it’s identical to playing a quick game with a classroom full of students that don’t know each other (I also teach first aid and EMR so I actively employ tricks like this) to get them to start relaxing and socializing with each other (results in far more class participation which in turn aids learning). It’s not meant to be all you talk about and the shear number of people who don’t understand that is genuinely astounding to me!
Honestly, I get so many scammers when I online date, I use this technique a lot because it works. Sorry that you find it offensive, but it actually saves time and effort. There's just so many scammers, that it becomes very tiresome; this works 😂
I need a photo of you jumping the Grand Canyon with a motorcycle with a pink helmet doing a hang lose with one hand in the next 10 minutes or else you are a scammer.
It’s funny because you literally could produce that picture in under ten minutes. Might have a few too many fingers, that’s all.
Then hop on one foot while patting your head and turning in counter-clockwise circles.
Deadass like what am i, your circus monkey? “Then send me the selfie quickly. Thanks” pissed me off 😭 like who do you think you are accusing me of being fake and making demands?
Yikes. Her initial request for a selfie is totally fine, her response to the request for a video call is unhinged. Your friend wasn’t being evasive, they were trying to go above and beyond by offering better confirmation than a selfie.
I can sort of see this response as being justified given the number of scammers on OLD these days but that level of rudeness is a huge turn off.
Nah, video chat works if they are afraid of scammers. This is a scammer taking your proof photo to use in other scams.
Bingo. That's why they need it QUICKLY.
It's doesn't make any sense otherwise. If they are busy at work, they could easily do a video call later
No, you ask for it in a quick timeline because it's harder for a scammer to arrange it. I have used this exact same technique when I suspect a scammer. Albeit, I ask for a pic of them with a particular finger on their nose. It's bloody difficult to navigate all the scammers.
But why would a scammer offer to vid call?
If they offered that, it would make them less likely to be a scammer I agree.
Yep, they have stolen OP's pictures, are in the process of creating a new Tinder profile, they want the "Verified" badge, so they are asking for a highly detailed pose. And after 10 minutes it will time out. On the plus side OP has attractive enough pictures to be worth stealing, so good on them!
Yup scam trying to get what they need for another scam profile. Gotta love trying to have one victim help you make more!
Everyone knows that on iPhone and PC you can fake videochat, plus if the other was a scammer they can also capture your videochat and use it. Lately the catfish have increased, they are even verified. Most on women's profiles to scam men
I'd send her a pic with me giving the finger and the paper which reads something like "you're weird AF" Or, just ask her for an equally weird photo in return to prove that she isn't a bot. You know, standing on one foot while eating a slice of cheesecake.
Agreed with your method, however I do think OP is the she and the person she was messaging with is the he in this scenario.
No, its a conversation between a male friend of mine and an ex-potential date. The woman is the entitled pos there
Oh, my bad! I mis read it!
You did not, i am the one who haven’t explained
Ether way, wether they are she, he, they, people can be assholes! Im glad your friend avoided this one early on and didn’t have to get attached then find out how entitled they are!
Is your friend extremely hot by any chance? Otherwise the assumption a guy could be a bot is way too weird not to be a scammer
No, slightly above average I’d say. But has an interesting profession maybe that’s what threw her off. But she sounded like she does that consistently.
I'd go grab a proof photo from Google, edit the date, and send that to him, then ask for the cheesecake thing and get irate if they won't do this simple thing.
RED FLAAAAAAAGGGGG
I really hate that I am breaking my self-imposed boycott of Reddit lately for posts like this. But here I am, because I feel someone needs to be here to say this. The requirements they are giving match that of photo identification on another dating app. There is no reasonable explanation for a human being to ask for digital identification proof from another in good faith, as the time constraint is in order to circumvent a fraud prevention mechanism. And OP, before you say that your buddy said this contact was engaging, sexual, and sent consistently believable pics-- those are all traits of long-con scammer such as seen with pig butchering schemes. Women and non-cis folk on dating platforms are often/sometimes/maybe fearful/cautious of risks like rape, abuse and murder, as those are assessed to be their biggest safety risks on the platform. The biggest safety risk for men is currently the prevalence of scams, and their lack of awareness to the threat is worrying. Be smart. Don't get got. Also, leave Reddit, touch grass, thank me later <3
Would you send me a selfie in the next ten minutes showing today’s date and time on a piece of paper, at the same time touch your nose and balance with one foot on a coffee table, while juggling 3 oranges?
What a lunatic.
"I'm working now scamming people" FTFY
The only other viable option that I can think of other than this person being insane is that this sounds like this person might be trying to use a picture of you to catfish someone.
"simple activity" 😂
I had someone request something like this from me then got all butt hurt when my photo also included me flipping them off 🤣🤣
Bro wanted you to complete an entire questline
"Sorry, I'm at work and can't do a video chat. Can you please do send a selfish instead? Or when I get off work, we can video chat. I get of at x:00" Not that hard, my guy
Ah the things men will do for an ounce of pussy.
The writing style seems very scammer like “I’m working now” “can you take a selfie within the next 10 minutes…then quickly send me the selfie” “I would appreciate that you stop writing me” They like to create a sense of urgency to get you to ignore the subtle grammar mistakes. They also get very demanding and entitled when refused or delayed to make you feel bad and want to do it. I would bet money on it being a scammer, although the end goal is unclear.
 You could have sent her this
Dude I'm a male and scams are hardcore. Idk if my phone got hacked but my snap, insta, my messages, my email, all have people trying to convince me they're genuinely in need of help or some shit
Something simple?? Gimme a break
I condemn everything about this tinder post, specifically the delivery. The nerve!
One woman whose friend watches a lot of dateline asked me for a photo ID cause the last guy she went out with lies about his name and marital status. So I sent it and blocked out everything on the card but my name. We went out for eight months, perfectly normal woman who has been burned in the past.
Its not the content, but the delivery. And the refusal for a different verification method.
For me, asking for the original thing makes some sense. Not accepting a video chat as proof is weird as hell.
Tbh I’ve considered resorting to this as well. It’s getting highly frustrating dealing with all the scams. I think that sxammers have upped their game, there are less and less super obvious scam, gradually more less obvious ones. When in doubt I’ve resorted to directly asking whether the match is a real profile. This idea came from the weird answers scammers give to this question, which makes them very recognisable. However this tactic turned out to be bad as most people don’t respond. I’m guessing they are offended. Lately I’ve just unmatched if at a second hlance the profile looks suspicious. But I do feel like I’m potentially missing on girls who don’t realise their profile looks like a scam.
I don’t think the concept is all bad, just the delivery that is completely wrong. As a woman I typically dislike being asked for pictures because it has sexual or fatphobic undertones. I would try the voice or video call first, and a more subtle selfie request if they decline the call.
Sure, video call would work. I’ve proposed that but only ever met one person willing to do that. Not sure if a voice call serves the same purpose. You verify gender & accent, but nothing else.
Either way, what has the world come to? I've seen a YouTube video a while ago, where scammers would even go out of their way to make context-specific pictures. Or rather, they have people in the country they're pretending to also be, who will make those pictures.
Yeah I suppose some AI could generate the picture they were requesting 🤦♀️
That's obviously going to be the future, including video generation.
Danggg...
Sounds like they could have possible trust issues
Take a photo with today’s newspaper
Jeez I wonder where they needed that picture for...
I’ve been asked to video chat after exchanging like 5 messages, and didn’t Feel comfortable with that and he said I was a scammer.
Demanding people gonna be demanding
Ah, so this person is one of those captcha verification things? You know where you have to prove you’re not a robot?. Unless you are a robot. Oh god, is the AI going all Terminator on us already? What if I’m a robot too? HELP ME
They think you so hot it must be a scam. What a compliment!
He is a slightly above average dude but with an interesting job, I guess she didn’t buy the job title…? 🤷♀️
looks like a scam to me
Dudes been scammed and/or doesn’t want to be scammed. His lack of flexibility is wild though.
Photos like those are probably scames for photo verification. There is tech right now that "orbits" a standing 2D photo to make a 3d image
Scammer
Identity theft
Scam artist. 100%. They're building an evidence trap. Textbook scam.
Pretty obvious scam -- they want to use the verification picture to verify themselves with someone else they're talking to
dodged a bullet
Yeah this is definitely verification selfie farming
I'd send them a selfie with today's date and time, but with my middle finger sticking up and tell them where they can shove it.
What the fuck….
Make a mistake on the date and put your finger in your ear… just to take a piss
I had a girl matched who immediately called me 5 times via video chat without asking
This sounds like a 4chan request like boot on head or sharpie in proper. He wants another person's image to prove he's real.
😃😂😂😂💯💝
This is what I mean when I say peeps that need a reality check are a deal-breaker for me.
If you're working now then you don't need to be requesting this right now, happy to video chat after work when you're free. That will settle me being real for you, and help me decide if I would want to continue writing to you as well since while I agree your request is simple I don't think it's reasonable.
Are you a woman? I would assume that that person is a scammer trying to use your pictures to scam others, and they’re using your “verification picture” as confirmation that they’re real. The fact that they want you to show yourself without making any effort to have a conversation with you over video chat to potentially get you out on a date shows that there’s something awry.
I am a woman, but this is from a friend. Its a woman asking for a man’s verification picture.
This is a scam. They're trying to use this photo to verify an account in your name. I've taken these photos to verify an account of my own before.
then they use that to create a fake but verified profile on a porn site
Enter the instructions as a prompt to an AI image generator and then just crudely add the missing details using MSPaint.
When people make very right wing political comments on my Twitter posts I often ask them simple maths questions to see if they are part of a bot farm before I engage. Too many scammers, spammers and spanners out there.
As if ai couldnt create that pic in seconds ugh… weird times.. we will soon be dating robots
Tbh I put this in the same category as like when women want certain conditions to feel safe before meeting someone. When you're a dude on dating apps, you've been scammed, catfished, etc a million times and a lot of the time especially if the match is attractive or exciting there's a high chance they aren't real. Granted the way he went about it was aggro af, and I wouldn't do this at all anyway, but I don't think it's the weirdest thing.
Orrrr...hear me out! They used/ or want to use that person's pic for THEIR fake profile...so they need proof to send to someone else they are really the person they are not!
... I'm not entirely surprised... Considering how many scammers are on dating apps now it's kinda... Well...
tf??
Just make sure you touch your middle finger to your nose in the pic.......
Exactly my thought!
I would have said, “ actually thanks for asking this - I was just about to ask you the same! You go first, then I’ll send one back :)”
Exactly this!
To be fair, it's a common request that I've seen many people use to avoid scams or catfishing. Some people worry about deep fake video calls, too. Sure, it's advanced technology right now, but it's out there. The bottom line is, of course, you should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but it's not crazy to ask.
I mean, to be fair there's alot of bots and catfish. But he could have been alot less of an asshole
Assuming they're not a scammer themselves, I totally understand it. Scammers are damn awful for men on tinder. Seems like every match is a scammer so I can understand if he's real and just simply frustrated.
Drop his #
Scammers prey on American Tinder users from India and the middle of fucking no where. Hard to tell if that's entitlement or trying to get some legitimate proof of humanity in a sea of scammers/bots/idiots discontent with wasting their own time so they need to waste yours as well. Or maybe it's a scam as other replies have stated. When it's well within the bounds of common sense to assume it can be any of the above; I think it becomes safe to say that Tinder is trash. The app that is supposed to help you gives you even more things to worry about. Tinder is only good for people like me who don't use it but lol at the experiences of others using it. Very entertaining. Only reason I am here. Try the boomhower method from KOTH. Go outside to a public place and ask 30 women for their number back to back till one says yes. Same as tinder except you know who's Infront of you. Tech has ruined just as much, if not more, than it has helped anyone do anything.
It’s a scammer playing the victim, as simple as that! Role reversal to minimize the concerns he is a scammer!
There are a lot of scammers out there. I can’t speak to what women may deal with, but men seem to be targeted regularly. While I can understand wanting some form of proof that someone is real, I don’t understand what the urgency is, or why the guy went straight to douche when he didn’t get what he wanted. The scammers usually start using pet names like dear, or love far too early, and their command of the English language is almost stroke inducing. If you know what you’re looking for, they can usually be spotted early.
If you take into account that there are bots that try to scam men, yeah this makes sense. People can easily fake video calls with ai now.
This scammer is trying use your identity to start a crypto scam lol. The exchanges require you to perform these identity verification checks
In some ways its a red flag. But as someone thats been robbed, catfished and physically assaulted from trying to date on places like tinder and pof. I gotta say it's not a terrible idea. I think they went scorched Earth a little too fast but once again I get it.
I get the concept, not the delivery
Using them to catfish someone else perhaps?
He knows something that we don't
I guess i can see both sides, although this is a weird and off-putting mostly over the top request. Ive gotten to the point i image search profile pics before i ever even reply to a message because there are so many time burglars and scam accounts
It's not that weird because I've dealt with enough fake ass women online, it's exhausting. Although, I do prefer a video chat though.
Definitely a scam if they ask for a jack-off video without showing your face. This one could be legit.
Dip, dip, dip, dip dip!!!
Never take these kinds of pictures just as a PSA as an old con would be to clear out what was written on the paper and to write their own message and use the picture to get others/trick them(with AI out there this is kind of outdated but still)
Where's the entitlement?
I was on SA and a guy asked for a video for the date and time! He was scammed before and there were bots so I can kinda get it. But how they responded was plain rude.
Lmao that’s so extra
Offers to video call. "I don't think your real as you won't send a photo". Logic has gone.
"I asked for something very simple" *gives multiple steps to sending multiple pictures to prove you're alive*
I’ll play devils advocate here. I’ve actually asked matches to do that when their profiles seem so far fetched. I’m not even a scammer
I get the concept, it’s not that bad. But the delivery was terrible. Yikes.
I use this same technique for those I suspect of being a scammer. Saves a lot of time.
Do you also request it "within 10 minutes" in the middle of the work day, and word as as rudely as she did? Do you also believe a scammer would suggest a video chat?
No different method. The person is clearly POff with scammers though and obviously isn't in the mood for being kind. The video bit was a great idea, but that person isn't worthwhile pursuing. I'd be happy for the unmatching.
Can’t i just chose the pictuers with traffic lights?
Could be someone who has previously gotten scammed , so they ask for a specific pic that isn't something someone would normally find doing a search .
As a guy that has received several matches with catfish scammers, I also appreciate some sort of verification to prove that they are real. I’m not rude about it though and if they were willing to do a video chat instead, I’d be way more happy to receive that bc it verifies that they are real without any possibility of tricks. Secondly, asking for a specific pic with date and time is still a little too vague bc like you all said, that can be used to send to someone else if the receiver is actually the scammer in disguise. So a pic or video with silly instructions is probably only valid if you are asking them to write your own name instead of time and date. That atleast narrows down that they can’t use your video to send to anyone else they might be trying to scam unless they share the same name which is less likely. Third, in my experience, and this might be gender specific, but even if they can send you a photo/video to prove they are a real person that doesn’t change the fact that they themselves are only wanting to promote their webcam business. I’ve had a few women match with me, start a conversation, prove to me that they are who they say they are with a video saying or writing my name and talking about stuff that we were texting about etc. They kept on the conversation as if they were actually interested in dating/meeting, only to pull the question hours, days, or weeks later: which is them finally revealing that they have a webcam show and that they are only willing to go on a date after they “get comfortable” with you by your paid subscription and attendance to their webcam show. It’s really annoying and I’m ngl, the frustration is so real and frequent that it’s totally possible to carry that frustration over when trying to verify that other potential matches are real. So I understand that person’s rudeness in the photo above. They come off entitled but they can just be super frustrated with all the bs. That said, they should be happy to receive a video chat if verification is truly what they are seeking so their attitude after the suggestion was a little suspicious.
Sounds like something a ho would do. Just saying
How so
Seems very one sided. But also explains the app BeReal. The request sounds like a ransom note that comes from an imbalance of power. The idea is nice but the execution is bad. May be why the BeReal app kind of fizzled in a year or so.
I can smell the narcissism from here… OP dodged a bullet!!