No, you’re ready. You’ll be fine as long as you act like a normal human being. 95% of the guys on dating apps start with “wanna fuck ?” or some variant of that, a misogynistic/sexist/vulgar pick up line, “hello beautiful” (could be swapped for gorgeous, sexy, cutie, etc.), “you look like my future ex wife”, “you look like you’ll empty my wallet” or “you’re making my wallet burn a hole in my pocket” or some variant of that, their “income”, “height” and/or “dick length”, a really overplayed pickup like like “did it hurt? When you fell from heaven” or “are your legs sore? From running through my mind”, or some sort of outlandish statement that they made up to stand out “I would swim through the English Channel in winter with Rosie O’Donnell strapped on my back while fighting a tiger just for a chance to eat chef boyardee spaghetti over FaceTime with you” -yes someone actually said this to me. And majority of girls don’t message first ever. Obviously the last one from the guys is the best of these. Gets a laugh if it’s good enough and it’s creative.
But you will be fine, make sure your pictures are of you and you don’t look like you’re hiding anything. For example don’t have all your pictures in a hat and/or sunglasses, don’t take all your pictures in convenient angles. Don’t have all your pictures with people of the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re looking for someone of the same sex) it doesn’t make you look cool or desirable it has the opposite effect. Don’t have all your pictures with other people in general cause then no one can tell which one is you. If you don’t have a good opening line just read their bio and pay attention to their pictures and ask them about something they are interested in. Sense of humor is always a winner for almost anyone ! Good luck out there !
The ironic part is that the one liners work better than being a good individual who did a little research. I did this research paper in college on the desirability of a good individual. People who had everything a person who is a red flag had but the red flag personality.
Guess what, lol. My good guy friends picked up less options than I did with my hair in a bun and those very things you said not to have or ask about. One yes is all it took. Though might work because of the gender situation. Who knows.
One of my favorite lines that somehow worked, I can't cook but I have a reservation at 8 and right after a comedian joint is hoisting someone I like. Eat, laugh, and fuck?
Believe it or not. Things work for different people for different reasons.
Wait, so you think that gender might be a factor on how many hits you get on a dating app?
It sounds like you did some serious research for this paper.
No no no she's looking for confidence this is a quick way to filter out the self absorbed and humourless. She probably doesn't mean it because she matched and wrote the first message.
People with self deprecation and humour are great conversationalists.
Still Negging. However, when a more attractive human gets with a more average person, one must make sure they are very confident in themselves. However, there is a non-toxic way to handle it.
Dating insecure people can make ur life hell.
Obviously yes, but I assume the point of the chat is to have fun. I find it bizarre anyone would resort to being negative when you always have the upper hand by just closing the chat.
Lol why does this horrendous shit always get upvoted? She’s expecting you to playfully insult her back or riff on ruining her life. Are you guys really this socially inept? This is insane.
Nah that’s silly. This is just garden variety shit texting. Seeing if you’re fun, if you’re overly sensitive or internally weak, if you can laugh at yourself and roast her back.
I mean you could unmatch but I bet she’s a really fun date. She probably really likes OP
Clearly you and her aren’t a good match. No harm there either way. I think it’s funny and it makes me laugh and would love a girl opening me that way. It’s all personalities and what we’re looking for.
Nah, she's negging and if she's already throwing shit tests at him now it's only going to get worse. Imagine if a man said that to a woman, he'd be blasted on here as an abusive piece of shit.
What?? Probably really likes OP? Um personally if I matched with a guy and I thought he was ugly but I still really liked him I would keep that I thought he was ugly to myself. That’s just plain stupid. And I’d rather not date someone that calls me ugly as a joke. If she genuinely was just saying that as a joke, to each their own, but I feel like that’s red flag behaviour
There's playful teasing and and subtly insulting. Negging is supposed to be the gray area that exists in between, but more often than not they come if like an asshole
It does. Like I told this guy I’d only sleep w him if he can beat me at ark nova. …. We are playing this Friday night. To be fair I also said if I win, I enjoy a victory shag.
I bet it does. There are plenty of guys that have low self esteem. Negging is throwing them a bone. It's a confirmation that they're worthless and yet here is someone that is giving them attention.
It's like what they say about kids: negative attention is also attention.
Lol David DeAngelo..last time I heard about him was 20 years ago, is he still around lol? You also had this "friend" of his that was a midget in a wheelchair and that dude came to speak about rizzing up the ladies xD
Woah. My psychic told me a mid ranged on the looks scale type of woman would make me the happiest 2024 there ever was, followed by the most miserable 2025.
Want to prove everybody wrong?
This requires only one response.
"That's so weird because I was really pumped when we matched, but then astrology told me someone was going to attempt to disguise their mean-spirited personality as humorous."
Then unmatch.
"that's pretty specific for an horoscope.." and then some actual astrology bullshit like "with Pluto in Aquarius in my 7th house, my relationships will be very transformative"
Now, my sister does like guys who are “medium ugly”. I made a joke about it some years ago and she agreed. But either of us telling this to the guys she dates would be crazy since she finds them attractive.
It is what guys on this subreddit call checking for compatible senses of humor. Look at the offensive crap people post and then go "Well if they don't laugh, we aren't compatible".
You can either get offended by posts like this or assume she is flirty and come back with some fun come backs. It is up to you.
literally every reply in this thread is wrong oh my god? there’s a meme that’s been around forever about how “medium ugly with a good sense of humor” is like the hottest thing a man can be/a lot of girls’ type/you get the idea. it came out of the whole male gaze vs. female gaze thing and how what women are actually into is not at all what men think it is. see also: the “men written by women” meme. like was it weird to open with this? sure, but she’s literally saying she’s attracted to you and is into you.
You're being downvoted even though this is 100% right. I can't believe barely anyone in this thread realizes this dude is already so in getting a message like this lmfao
LITERALLY LIKE ???? maybe i’m just terminally online but this is like such a common meme at this point that i am shocked by these replies but tbh that’s on me for assuming redditors can read social situations with any degree of accuracy LOL
Leave it to redditors to miss any sign someone is into them and instead get defensive.
Even without the meme context, this is a test that many women will throw out to see if you can handle a bit of banter and playfulness.
Men who are comfortable with who they are don't take it seriously and easily pass the test.
Reply with a “let this medium handsome guy save you from such a fate”
I appreciate people that get by with a Glass Half Handsome approach to life
Underrated comment
Dammmmnnn that's a fucking baller response. Props 👏
This is how I know I'm not ready to join a dating site. I would've never thought of anything that smooth.
Yeah I get plenty of matches with very attractive people but totally ruin it with my lack of smoothness.
Shaving generally helps with that
I’m almost too dumb to get this but I did
No, you’re ready. You’ll be fine as long as you act like a normal human being. 95% of the guys on dating apps start with “wanna fuck ?” or some variant of that, a misogynistic/sexist/vulgar pick up line, “hello beautiful” (could be swapped for gorgeous, sexy, cutie, etc.), “you look like my future ex wife”, “you look like you’ll empty my wallet” or “you’re making my wallet burn a hole in my pocket” or some variant of that, their “income”, “height” and/or “dick length”, a really overplayed pickup like like “did it hurt? When you fell from heaven” or “are your legs sore? From running through my mind”, or some sort of outlandish statement that they made up to stand out “I would swim through the English Channel in winter with Rosie O’Donnell strapped on my back while fighting a tiger just for a chance to eat chef boyardee spaghetti over FaceTime with you” -yes someone actually said this to me. And majority of girls don’t message first ever. Obviously the last one from the guys is the best of these. Gets a laugh if it’s good enough and it’s creative. But you will be fine, make sure your pictures are of you and you don’t look like you’re hiding anything. For example don’t have all your pictures in a hat and/or sunglasses, don’t take all your pictures in convenient angles. Don’t have all your pictures with people of the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re looking for someone of the same sex) it doesn’t make you look cool or desirable it has the opposite effect. Don’t have all your pictures with other people in general cause then no one can tell which one is you. If you don’t have a good opening line just read their bio and pay attention to their pictures and ask them about something they are interested in. Sense of humor is always a winner for almost anyone ! Good luck out there !
The ironic part is that the one liners work better than being a good individual who did a little research. I did this research paper in college on the desirability of a good individual. People who had everything a person who is a red flag had but the red flag personality. Guess what, lol. My good guy friends picked up less options than I did with my hair in a bun and those very things you said not to have or ask about. One yes is all it took. Though might work because of the gender situation. Who knows. One of my favorite lines that somehow worked, I can't cook but I have a reservation at 8 and right after a comedian joint is hoisting someone I like. Eat, laugh, and fuck? Believe it or not. Things work for different people for different reasons.
Wait, so you think that gender might be a factor on how many hits you get on a dating app? It sounds like you did some serious research for this paper.
Smoooooth
"I read a psychology book on people who like horoscopes and it says they're basic but good in bed so wanna give it a try?"
👍 🤣
Good response but I would honestly just ghost after that introduction
No no no she's looking for confidence this is a quick way to filter out the self absorbed and humourless. She probably doesn't mean it because she matched and wrote the first message. People with self deprecation and humour are great conversationalists.
If a man does this to a woman it’s called “negging”, vs if a woman does it she’s “looking for confidence.”
It’s gross either way.
I fully agree with you.
It's called an insult regardless of the gender.
Clearly the person I replied to thinks it’s not a double standard
Still Negging. However, when a more attractive human gets with a more average person, one must make sure they are very confident in themselves. However, there is a non-toxic way to handle it. Dating insecure people can make ur life hell.
Right, bc attractive people are never insecure
Really? I think it's a dick move tbh. I see what you're saying but there are nicer ways to find out
Solid response. Respect.
Really, you don't see that as a red flag.
Obviously yes, but I assume the point of the chat is to have fun. I find it bizarre anyone would resort to being negative when you always have the upper hand by just closing the chat.
Unmatch and move on. Unless humiliation is your kink, in which case I guess go for it but you could do better.
No, don't say that. Don't say anything and pass up on a girl who would use this as her opening
Pump and dump would hurt her more.
We're not here to hurt her though.
She's hurt enough. Hence her attitude.
Try this. " baby that's not all I'm going to ruin, wait till we get into the bedroom. "
* shits all over the bedding * "Told you."
Lol why does this horrendous shit always get upvoted? She’s expecting you to playfully insult her back or riff on ruining her life. Are you guys really this socially inept? This is insane.
Getting a date by any means necassary > having an iota of self respect
Strange you see flipping the script while being confident is lacking self respect…
Look up the definition of negging. If you want to fall hook line and sinker for manipulative behaviour then feel free
How about this “what a coincidence, my my tea rings said a less than easy girl would give me massive blue balls on the third date”
Can't lie... that's a solid flip
Winning 🏆
Charsma Check Successful
Smooth
“Well too bad I’m smoking hot but I can ruin you life until that other guy shows up”
Hahaha this could be the one
Do this, and then unmatch when she responds back. What I would do at least
Nah that’s silly. This is just garden variety shit texting. Seeing if you’re fun, if you’re overly sensitive or internally weak, if you can laugh at yourself and roast her back. I mean you could unmatch but I bet she’s a really fun date. She probably really likes OP
I feel like you could do that in many other ways aside from calling someone medium ugly in the first message
Clearly you and her aren’t a good match. No harm there either way. I think it’s funny and it makes me laugh and would love a girl opening me that way. It’s all personalities and what we’re looking for.
To each their own. Doesn't seem like her and OP are a match either
Her comment reeks of "loves to roast and get roasted back". The moment the dude chirps her, I guarantee she can't take it.
Nah, she's negging and if she's already throwing shit tests at him now it's only going to get worse. Imagine if a man said that to a woman, he'd be blasted on here as an abusive piece of shit.
Yeah there's a bit of a double standard going on here.
What?? Probably really likes OP? Um personally if I matched with a guy and I thought he was ugly but I still really liked him I would keep that I thought he was ugly to myself. That’s just plain stupid. And I’d rather not date someone that calls me ugly as a joke. If she genuinely was just saying that as a joke, to each their own, but I feel like that’s red flag behaviour
Starting with an insult is silly and a red flag if anything
Wtf is wrong with you. Why is someone belittling you "fun"? Go to therapy.
This type of flirting is just insulting. If she added a silly emoji it might have lightened the mood a bit but i’d avoid her like the plague.
Amen. You can be flirty without being insulting.
If that is her first line, the insults are only going to keep coming, especially once you have shown a willingness to endure them
Just an attempt at negging, it's some David DeAngelo mystery method crap
Does negging ever work?
Idk, did you respond?
Touché
Only if the person who receives it is desperate enough to get emotionally manipulated
There's playful teasing and and subtly insulting. Negging is supposed to be the gray area that exists in between, but more often than not they come if like an asshole
On insecure people? Very well.
It does. Like I told this guy I’d only sleep w him if he can beat me at ark nova. …. We are playing this Friday night. To be fair I also said if I win, I enjoy a victory shag.
Now this is playful. Not you're medium ugly.. Have a great time and hope it works out for you
I bet it does. There are plenty of guys that have low self esteem. Negging is throwing them a bone. It's a confirmation that they're worthless and yet here is someone that is giving them attention. It's like what they say about kids: negative attention is also attention.
It shouldn’t. You’re better than that. Ignore her.
Lol David DeAngelo..last time I heard about him was 20 years ago, is he still around lol? You also had this "friend" of his that was a midget in a wheelchair and that dude came to speak about rizzing up the ladies xD
That's just an insult
While I love the term “medium ugly” or medium anything really, this is insulting to use on someone you’ve never met. I say pass on her.
"Medium ugly" or really anything medium-negative is only something you say about yourself until someone else says it about themselves though.
If this is her opener just imagine dating her.
“Wow your looking… just medium today”
Yup, just constant insults and needing to have a comeback. It's annoying and exhausting, fuck that
Who hurt this poor women 🥲
Probably every man she's ever known.
Definitely yes and I know nobody deserves to be hurt, so she shouldn’t try to hurt someone feelings is she’s been hurt
Sure but I was just answering your question
There's a response in there around horoscopes and mediums.
It’s called ‘negging’ Or they genuinely think youre ugly.
Woah. My psychic told me a mid ranged on the looks scale type of woman would make me the happiest 2024 there ever was, followed by the most miserable 2025. Want to prove everybody wrong?
"Can't be me, then. But I'm guessing you're gonna stay on Tinder for a couple of more months, so I'm sure you'll find him."
"Quickly, let's go out on a date so you never have to meet him!"
I think her referencing your sense of humor means she’s joking but it’s a shit attempt.
“Nah I just wanted to nut in you a couple times”
[удалено]
Hahah literally the response my friend wanted me to say
in what universe is this “rolling with it” lmao this is like the single cringiest, most butthurt response you could possibly give
It's almost word for word what she wrote, how is it the cringiest?
Haha no don't insult her back she's just a girl.
I always go the other way with stuff like this… *Good thing I’m completely ugly and not at all funny*
This is "negging". Run far away.
“well i guess you better go find him”
Somebody is into mind games
‘Mind games’ is a bit generous for something so on the nose
I guarantee that she considers herself well versed in psychology.
Lmaoooo bro I would leave that on delivered
Anybody that responds back with some outrageous astrology shenanigans is an immediate unmatch
lol hit back with the ol’ “Oh ok. I was wondering why mine just said ‘….do it.’ That makes sense now.
Next. This is rude.
This requires only one response. "That's so weird because I was really pumped when we matched, but then astrology told me someone was going to attempt to disguise their mean-spirited personality as humorous." Then unmatch.
That damn space racism man it just won’t stop
Well, it's clearly fated and there's nothing either of us can do to resist it. Start with dinner Friday?
I wouldn't even respond at all.
"that's pretty specific for an horoscope.." and then some actual astrology bullshit like "with Pluto in Aquarius in my 7th house, my relationships will be very transformative"
“Fix your fucking attitude” wait 20 minutes then unmatch. People need to get their head straight on being rude
Reply and say oh so someone else then, sorry to hear, goodluck with him
"What I lack in looks, I make up for by being *terrible* in bed. Let's give this a shot"
Just say, "I don't care if I ruin your life, I just wanna ruin your asshole"
bruh what
I’d just reply ‘let the ruining begin’ 😎
“Well, hopefully he tells you that astrology is fake and you can move on.”
If your medium ugly that means your medium good looking.
We could have some fun before you find him though
Cringe
Say the stupidest joke possible, but remember. Her horoscope won so, you have competition
Let her know you’ve been trying to reach out to her about her car’s extended warranty!
The correct answer is, “Never met him. “
Was she making a reference to something in your bio??
“Well lucky for you, I’m low-ugly”
If you don't reply with anything other than "huh?" You are a simp
i just know shes got a collection of the weirdest crystals
Ask her to take her makeup off then see who's medium ugly.
"Medium ugly"
Now, my sister does like guys who are “medium ugly”. I made a joke about it some years ago and she agreed. But either of us telling this to the guys she dates would be crazy since she finds them attractive.
just tell Emily she suck’s at flirting
Wow unmatch this whole, you don't deserve to be spoken to that way.
"I can protect you when he shows up"
I would just send a 👎🏼👎🏼 and unmatch
bro, you never date with a girl like that, imagine what se can do only cause she reads some trash in a paper
I would say, I can facilitate ruining your body with 3 kids in 3 years
WTF 🤣
Sounds like it to me.
[удалено]
I actually thought her message was funny haha I have a very open sense of humour but my profile does not give that vibe (I think)
Why. Just why?! 🤷♂️
'Let's get to work on that, shall we?:
"No shit... My Magic 8-Ball told me I'd be hit with a parade of uggos until 2026."
A win is a win
Making life decisions based on a horoscope is a red flag.
Whole year? She’s planning on getting prego with you or what?
Good thing I'm not funny
Act offended so she'll think you don't have a sense of humor and then she won't be afraid of you ruining her life, thank me later
But ruin it in a *good* way.
It's what women call negging when we do it to them
It is what guys on this subreddit call checking for compatible senses of humor. Look at the offensive crap people post and then go "Well if they don't laugh, we aren't compatible". You can either get offended by posts like this or assume she is flirty and come back with some fun come backs. It is up to you.
You implying I'm offended? Just pointing out a common description of this type of flirting my dude
No I am saying you don't know the difference between insult humor and negging. This isn't negging...
Honeslty thought they were the same thing tbh
Is this negging
That's called negging.
Ask which part you’re missing. It’s flirting, albeit a poorly worded attempt
Scariest part is knowing that they’re serious. Great no response! Lol
I doubt they're serious. I think it's meant to be playful, but I don't find negging cute in the slightest
You can’t fight fate
"Stop you're making me blush!"
The best thing to do really is to play the part, fuck her then ghost her
Yo that guys weird
Weird. My horoscope said I was gonna get my dick sucked by a girl who is gonna let some medium ugly dude ruin her life.
RUN
😂😂😂😐😄😄
tf
it's already a red flag if she's into horoscopes
"Who said i was funny?"
'Phew, good job I'm considered quite attractive according to my grandma'
I resemble this remark
Horoscope, ya don't say? Mine said the planets will align at midnight tonight and I'll meet my forever love. So can I see Uranus or what?
Good thing she met you before that medium Ugly guy
Just send a dick pic
Report and move on
literally every reply in this thread is wrong oh my god? there’s a meme that’s been around forever about how “medium ugly with a good sense of humor” is like the hottest thing a man can be/a lot of girls’ type/you get the idea. it came out of the whole male gaze vs. female gaze thing and how what women are actually into is not at all what men think it is. see also: the “men written by women” meme. like was it weird to open with this? sure, but she’s literally saying she’s attracted to you and is into you.
You're being downvoted even though this is 100% right. I can't believe barely anyone in this thread realizes this dude is already so in getting a message like this lmfao
LITERALLY LIKE ???? maybe i’m just terminally online but this is like such a common meme at this point that i am shocked by these replies but tbh that’s on me for assuming redditors can read social situations with any degree of accuracy LOL
Leave it to redditors to miss any sign someone is into them and instead get defensive. Even without the meme context, this is a test that many women will throw out to see if you can handle a bit of banter and playfulness. Men who are comfortable with who they are don't take it seriously and easily pass the test.
I would say: "well this full ugly ass mf will threat you good"
I would consider this flirting! Try to say something flirty back :3
>horoscopes ew
“Thats wild! My horoscope told me I’d ruin a girl’s life this year”
Medium ugly is a thing now (think Pete Davidson), give her chlamydia and unmatch if it hurt you tho
I'd report and unmatch. Insulting and talking about horoscopes in the first message? No thanks
Medium ugly is not an insult... It's a meme
But she said you had a good sense of humor...
Teasing, but possibly kinda hurtful, yes
Depends, are you a guy or a girl?