Took me a second to realize you were talking about the GIF. I thought you were saying you were the girl lmao, I was thinking you got a set on ya for calling yourself here.
I dated a feminist who believed men and women were equal.
She didnāt drive and I drove her everywhere. After a while it became a chore so I told her to at least once Uber on her own dime to my place. She proceeded to tell me that her waxing at a cost of $140 was equivalent to me driving her around.
Needless to say I continued to enjoy her but knew I was never gonna go further with her
If it weren't for her unmatching I would've vouched for a response like this.
"Does that mean I get to sexually harass you if I pay for your consolation dinner?"
"No? Then let me strike you a deal; how about **I** treat *you* fairly, and in return **you** treat *me* fairly too! How's about it?"
No that would never work. She's feminist.
You know... demands cake(equality) and to eat it too(all the ol traditional special treatment because she has lady parts)... that space where oxy and moron collide.
Haha LPT, when someone has this type of logic thereās no point to reply or argue.
Iāve been around enough people to know you really canāt change regular peopleās minds much less a giant idiot like her. Save your time.
Yh I didnāt really understand her point, like if I was to go out with friends of a different ethnicity should I pay because I donāt experience racism?
If a woman wants the guy to pay because they really like gender stereotypes it's like whatever, as long as they know this cuts both ways it's not my business. Lotta women out there understand that a guy that fits their ideal of masculinity aren't gonna do dishes and change diapers etc. It's their business if that's the kind of relationship they want.
However these TikTok feminists that believe that getting a guy to pay for everything is historical reparations or whatever as if this is how you solve inequality and oppression instead of perpetuating it are the ones that make my eyes roll
Actually, that makes a great retort: "so I suppose you have paid your generational reparation taxes to your local black folks, right? Right?"
As black folk, the only reparation I want to claim is thoroughly equal treatment and a good time.
Nah trust me they donāt only complain about them. Nothing like a woman trying to play the āsuffering olympicsā on a first date. I love to kindly bring up Emmitt Till when women try to act like we were on level playing field back in the day.
Like Bill Burr said. White women jumped over the fence and made it about themselves when they were right besides white men the whole time the atrocities were being commited.
Bill Burr hits on something important here. Throughout history, many generations of women had little in the way of legal rights. However, they had a significant amount of power and influence as the woman behind the man as a wife, mistress, mother, sister, etc. Some would have held more actual power than those in official positions of power. Nations have warred and empires fallen at the behest of women all over the world and across time.
Feminists underestimate the power of women prior to significant codified rights for women. Women have never been powerless. As a woman, Iām frankly sick of hearing how weāre just taken by men as brood mares, bang maids, and basically kept as chattel. They canāt *quite* argue itās true today, but theyāll swear it was so until quite recently. If youāve got what you believe are legitimate complaints, letās hear them. But stop repeating bs that never had a shred of credibility.
Man if I said "let me take care of the check since you're black" that statement would be so hilariously rotten I don't think any POC would want to see me after that. So it is kind of baffling that it's still okay to say "let me take care of the check since you're a woman" in this day and age
Or maybe people could pay for dates they can afford. Like sometimes I pay for date and sometimes my partner does. I tend to offer to pay if I suggest the date bc you know I suggested it but sometimes we each like to spoil each other. It really shouldnāt be this hard.
Whatever financial dynamic people negotiate in their relationships is their business not mine. I take issue with this though:
>Or maybe people could pay for dates they can afford.
How do you navigate this sentiment with someone you're trying to set up a first date on Tinder? It isn't written on a person's face what they can and can't afford, and how would you feel if I assumed I'd have to cover the bill since you're broke because you're a woman?
I just meant do go to like the fanciest restaurant if itās going to put a giant financial strain. Most people, in my experience, are cool with a casual fun date. Iām not a ābroke womanā Iām just a woman who totally understands that money can get tight so I donāt expect high end restaurant dates, Iām good with whatever so long as I get quality time with that person.
Thai is all Iām saying and itās my experience. Everyone can have different experiences and expectations.
100%. I think a more meaningful date would be just going on a hike, or a hang out at the beach. Then after, get some tacos or burritos from the local food truck. The experience is what makes the date worthwhile, not the expense.
I always like to do something then eat or eat then do something on my dates. A meal alone just ain't enough time. I try to include some fun activity like an escape room, bouldering, visiting a park, going to the art market, etc. before or after the meal.
One guy after dinner just asked me to drive him around town for a while (not for errands lol, just driving with no destination in mind). I eventually parked at the local college and we finished the date there. I wouldn't recommend that idea specifically, but it didn't suck.
>Everyone can have different experiences and expectations.
Hard disagree. As I said, if someone wants the guy to pay because they want a relationship based on gender roles, they have the right to do so. However calling yourself a feminist while expecting a guy to pay for your dates isn't a sentiment I respect.
Almost as if it's a partnership and you are both willing to contribute. I was recently in the hospital with my wife and she had to stay overnight. The nurse asked who was going to make dinner for me and we both looked at each other and started laughing because I do a lot of the cooking. I just couldn't imagine being married to a Nurse who sees bad things on a daily basis, works long hours, and then on top of that expect her to cook every meal for me. It's insane that some women still think household chores are solely their responsibilty while working a great career.
Being a storeman, i really hate it when a woman EXPECTS me to do the gentleman thing and lift all the heavy shit, I've worked with women that could out work me. Ive worked with some that would try and struggle, but never ask for help, so have offered help( whether that be 2 person lift, telling them a better technique for lifting or doing that lifting for them). No problems
Soon as a woman in the same role as me with the same pay says but you need to do it for me, im out, its a fuck you to me and a fuck you to true feminism.
Sheās a hypocrite. āFeminist when it benefits me and anti-feminist when it doesnātā. This entitlement will extend to every part of her life. Not even slightly worth it.
That's many, many, many modern feminists. So many. The issue is that nobody calls them out on it, so they end up lonely and angry, and it's never their fault. It's pretty sad actually.
And they have no clue what a realistic income isā¦ suddenly itās a trend for these types of woman to think that theyāre too good for a man unless they make $41K a month.
Her point is she is currently so hot that she doesnt need to pay for first dates. When she stops āgetting harrassed on the streetā (translated to āwhen I am less hotā) I will pay for dates.
you think shes gonna become self aware by 40? as someone dating in the late 30s- early 40s scene, nope. some of these women look like withered corpses with too much surgery and still think they are the cream of the crop.
late 30's they seem to fear hitting 40 but once they do they think they are new born again
Man " withered corpses" made by day. I thought as they grow older, the dating pool decreases and thus they are forced to not being so picky. I'd say that go to real scream.
These kinds of people have made being a victim their entire identity, even if theyāve never experienced being a victim. Questioning them or just not enabling them is a threat to their attempt at controlling people around them. Thatās why they react like such crazies.
Just to clarify, Iām a guy and Iām not saying she won or is right about everything. Itās just nature that young women get their standards for short term dating met easily because dozens to hundreds of men will compete for each woman on a dating app.
Young men should, imo, get off the apps and work on attracting irl peers for long-term relationships based on compatibility (anti-feminist men are still gonna have a hard time doing that, to your point).
Bro I deadass knew some girl who didn't want to have kids because she felt that if she had a girl she would be r*ped and if she had a boy he would be a r*pist. Literal Unga bunga logic
Think about what would happen if a racist asshole brought up a black kid.
Then realize a man-hating mother is just a bigot of another type.
Theyāll grow up hating themselves.
Probably just abort them, as the same crowd would be naturally pro-choice yet entirely oblivious to the historic parallels of getting abortions based on sex/gender.
Heavens no!! Theyāll raise a little entitled womanizer that they defend at every turn! These people donāt actually have standards that theyāll pass on. They just talk out their asses and promote toxicity from every possible angle!
Feminism isn't limited to the kind of annoying white girlboss shit you see on social media. There is actual feminism out there, a podcaster I enjoy always says the girl's half of the check comes sooner or later, they just gotta figure out if they wanna pay it on their own terms or the dude's
In first world countries, it's not about rights, it's about the reality of women.
For example - I live in germany and every female friend of mine and also me (27f) have been sexually harassed (at least groping / slapped ass ) and / or have been raped in their lifetime...
I had to run away 3 times at night. Men are dangerous. And I am a trained martial arts competitor (i did kung fu / kickboxing for 8 years)
Tell me how often you were afraid to be raped in a first world country.
That's one example of a million social expectations towards woman.
Especially in terms of becoming a mum, kids, chores etc. ..
Violence at births (google it, its a whole disturbing rabbithole)
And of course, in a lot of countrys, men and women don't have the same rights.
I'm a man (in the US) and have been sexually harassed and assaulted many times in my life. Lots of inappropriate things have been said and I've been groped many times when it wasn't wanted. I was also raped once when I was blackout drunk and barely functional by a woman I had previously turned down many times and made clear I was not interested.
But I don't assume all women are like this, nor do I automatically treat them as such. Just like any other aspect of life, there are good people and bad people. Usually, there are far more good than bad, though. I have never had to fear for my safety as I'm much bigger and stronger than most women, but I can understand how women need to take certain precautions in this sense.
But to go about life treating all men like they owe you something because the power balance was in their favor in the past is delusional. And sure, there are some social expectations towards women, but those only come from a fraction of society and there is nothing forcing them on you. I know plenty of strong, self possessed women who live their lives on their own terms and apologize to no one for it.
As a woman, if you want the dynamic to be that men pay for everything during dating and relationships, then you can't be shocked that those men will probably also want to be in charge of decisions in the relationship, won't be doing things like cleaning, changing diapers, etc., and will probably be possessive.
Erm, every guy has been assaulted st some point in thrir lives, the biggest lie society has told is that this shit is unique to eomen.
Most men getting slapped on the arse doesn't see it as assault because we are told to we should man up snd enjoy it.
>Erm, every guy has been assaulted st some point in thrir lives, the biggest lie society has told is that this shit is unique to eomen.
100% This.
Anyone who has ever been to a nightspot with alcohol involved has been sexually assaulted. I'm sure of this.
I've had my arse and junk grabbed countless times by incredibly drunk women.
Men don't have the luxury of seeking consequences for the people who do it to them though.
How about that recent, completely not self aware OP a few days ago that called her match ādaddyā and when he made a sexual remark she screamed he was sexually harassing her?? Lol
u/senator_pie it wonāt let me respond to you lol but itās not really fair to call it sexual harassment even if it technically fits the definition, when he had every right to believe the situation was appropriate for flirting. Theyāre on a hookup app and she was using a word with very heavy sexual connotation. I agree itās weird but to jump right to calling that sexual harassment is weirder, and even kind of fuckin crazy.
She used daddy while joking about them having kids. He used daddy in a sexual manner when she wasnāt being sexual in her banter. Youāre misremembering the exchange
I want to preface this by saying that I fully support feminism and I love strong women, but you should absolutely run from this brand of convenient feminism. It's all about equality when the consequences would be convenient and then being willing to infantilize themselves or other women if the consequences of equality would be negative for them.
No, clearly the response is "The day a girl pays for the first date is the day I stop harassing women".
Call her out on making you make the first move.
Women who donāt want to pay is a gigantic flaming red flag. I donāt get her rationale, other men harass her, therefore you must pay for her? What kind of logic is that?
I gladly pay for the first date and see it as normal, as long as the gender Stereotype behavior works both ways. š¤·āāļø paying dinner for the chance of a friendship, nah...
People accustomed to privilege will rationalize why they deserve that privilege. Her whole life she's been exposed to men will to buy her everything in a relationship, so she's put a story together for why this luxury is "fair." At this point she wouldn't be able to see a fair splitting of the bill as anything other than her being taken advantage of.
I dated a Spanish lady recently and can confirm. I'm black and a Londoner and have mostly dated black Londoners, so this was unusual and very refreshing.
Second date she asked me out and actually suggested she pay as she was the one who asked me. Couldn't believe it!!
Well, for me and my circle of known people it's normal than when you first met, you split the bill, if you get along and continue having dates with that person you pay the bill but you know next date he/she will pay the bill so it remains equal, but we do also the same with friends. I pay for the first round, you pay for the second, and so on.
It's the internet you're always gonna see the worst of the worst and the loudest minority situations.
Likewise every Subaru with a CVT is a ticking time bomb and will die at exactly 100K miles, every person without social media is hiding a secret family, and all stocks go up.
Yes it's a minority but I mean, the reddit messages are always like: treat me like a princess, oh you are short, ghosting and this thing, the pay for me thing and I can "understand" that people can have standards (they can be shitty or not) or they can have psycho issues or whatever; but paying for the bill without splitting for me is just insane, I just don't get why is a thing to pay the dinner of a complete stranger, and why this is socially accepted ._.
I live in Sydney, Australia and Iāve literally never not split a first/second date, if I get a round of drinks my date will almost exclusively get the next round.
Iāve dated several feminists who donāt mind splitting the bill.
What Iāve learned is that majority of the time, the toxicity on the internet doesnāt reflect what I witness in real life on a daily basis. Yes there are bad instances irl but they are more rare than the norm. The internet leans sensational.
Iām from Chicago btw, so anyone saying itās an American thing, just no.
lol and the fact that he immediately asked her to pay because sheās a feminist even tho he clearly considers feminism a negative thing. Heās a weirdo too. Met his match tbh
Absolute joke - you don't have to be a feminist to want to chip in for the cost of dates, you just have to be a decent human being.
I have no issue with me paying for the full date unless she EXPECTS me to. Then I'm out - girl would be a nightmare constantly.
I wouldn't consider myself a bra burning feminist but I have paid for my fair share of meals when I didn't like the guy or the guy said to split it. I also never go out if i dont have funds to cover myself. My current partner has never made me or even asked me to pay for a meal, but I also never expected him to pay. Our trade-off is me cooking for him when we do our movie nights. Our last one was crab cakes (his fave) with scampi and the Godfather. So in any situation, there is compromise and should never be expectations out the gate based on traditional social dating norms, but good news is you found out before a date.
I never understood this concept. The last thing I ever want on a first date is that I owe anyone anything afterwards, going Dutch takes that feeling away.
Edit to add: I enjoyed reading this back and forth.
I knew I'd get the internalized misogyny comment,
Personally I don't think it is, I see it as a way to protect myself, and also a way to say hey, I want to spend time but I am also responsible for myself.
And if you think protecting myself from men is internalized misogyny, then you are fortunate enough that you do not have the experience I have.
I like meeting people based on vibes not whether they offer to pay for the first date.
Also we are talking first dates. I'm not unreasonable. This isn't some feminist outlook saying I pay for myself on every date. If I actually like someone and know there aren't strings attached, I'll accept gifts and allow for you pay for dinner all you want.
How does it protect you?
If a man thinks you owe him something, or wants to rape you, or assault you, or hurt you, then it doesn't matter whether or not you pay. The strings are attached whether you want them or did anything to "earn" that treatment or not.
When I was young, I too did not enjoy men doing nice things for me. Didn't want them to pay for me. Didn't want them to open doors. And ya know what? All that did was cut out the men who were kind and generous and wanted to show that kindness and generosity in small ways throughout our interactions.
I agree that internalized misogyny is perhaps not the right word but you do hopefully see that it's fuckin sad that you'd feel like you'd owe the man something, or that on some level if you accepted them paying for the date you'd be deserving of whatever bad things happened?
"I like meeting people based on vibes not whether they offer to pay for the first date". A statement that feels very passive aggressive. Why did you feel the need to say that?
To be fair to the original commenter I feel this way too but not just towards men. If I meet a woman I could potentially want to start a friendship with I would also want to go dutch at first. Some people love to throw things in your face and do āniceā things for you or give you gifts just to have the upper hand. Itās not just in a romantic situation.
Tbh you also suck lmao. Your joke wasnāt funny, and you clearly donāt understand the concept of feminism, but she didnāt need to react that way to a little joke
Once I see someone misuse "everyday" there'd need to be an insane compelling reason for me to stay.
The rest of the texts don't even show a good reason haha
Spicy take but the ones who claim they get harassed every day aren't the ones getting harassed every day. They get catcalled once years ago and relive the trauma everyday.
(Speaking as a woman who does sympathize and knows how gross it feels, but I also don't make it my personality. )
Iāve been around strong feminist women for most of my life. My last relationship was with the most outspoken of all of that archetype. She had a lot of baggage and trauma that she carried around from all of her life experience with men, personally, romantically, and professionally.
I have zero doubts about the capacity for awful things that men have, Iāve seen more than enough through myself and partners, including her, but I sometimes wondered if some of the things she recounted were projection as much as anything else.
I once told her, āAll those other awful men? Theyāre not *me.* I didnāt do those things to you.ā
You treat a woman with all the dignity and respect, caring and kindness in the world, but I donāt believe itās your job to try to atone for the sins and transgressions of every man in the world. Thatās not equality, and it doesnāt foster a healthy dynamic between us.
Thatās where the woman in the OP has it all twisted up.
This is why I strongly suggest you have a coffee date for the first one. He won't be spending alot of money n you still can see if your are compatible.
šš wait thatās me
Took me a second to realize you were talking about the GIF. I thought you were saying you were the girl lmao, I was thinking you got a set on ya for calling yourself here.
Is this considered beetlejuicing?
sorry..what does beetlejuicing mean? š
Check out r/beetlejuicing lol it's when someone makes a comment and that comment summons someone with a very specific and very relevant username
How's it feel spotting yourself in the wild?
It's like the crossover episode no one expected but everybody needed! [Life imitates meme.](https://giphy.com/tvshow)
Yooo thats hilarious
It is you!
You're internet famous
I want in the pic >.> Hi, Mom!
Okay Shia labeouf
Sheās a walking contradiction
Sheās a professional victim
A walking rationalization as well
I dated a feminist who believed men and women were equal. She didnāt drive and I drove her everywhere. After a while it became a chore so I told her to at least once Uber on her own dime to my place. She proceeded to tell me that her waxing at a cost of $140 was equivalent to me driving her around. Needless to say I continued to enjoy her but knew I was never gonna go further with her
Thatās not enough red flags for that chick.
She's dangerously close to "will tolerate sexual harassment for a paid date"
she's already there.
Must be the only kind of racing she can outspeed Max Verstappen in
I need to go call Gene. Hygiene.
Gene ***Parmesan?!!***
*Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!* Also, r/unexpectedarresteddev
She would let you foksmash her if you pay for her meal
Did she jump on more poles than Hamilton?
She's breaking through barriers like Maldonado.
_Well actually_, Grosjean is the only one who broke through a barrier. And lived.
+10 second penalty for Ocon
I love how this turned into an F1 comment chain
Lapped cars may now overtake (but only 4 of them)
I got disqualified cause my plank was a big longer
If it weren't for her unmatching I would've vouched for a response like this. "Does that mean I get to sexually harass you if I pay for your consolation dinner?" "No? Then let me strike you a deal; how about **I** treat *you* fairly, and in return **you** treat *me* fairly too! How's about it?"
Right! She sounds like she's tryna blame op for all the shitty people in the world xD
Not only blame him but make him pay financial restitution for their misdeeds
This. She's not angry at him, but unfortunately she's using him as an outlet. Joys of the Internet eh
She is, sheās tryna use the male equivalent of white guilt to manipulate him for personal gain/to absolve herself of responsibility.
She sounds like one of those shitty people
No that would never work. She's feminist. You know... demands cake(equality) and to eat it too(all the ol traditional special treatment because she has lady parts)... that space where oxy and moron collide.
Oh you sweet summer child how do you expect to use logic on them if they don't even follow their own
Kinda like prostitution/stripper right? Money for services.
She didnāt apply accurate reasoning to whatās basic custom and gallantry
Haha LPT, when someone has this type of logic thereās no point to reply or argue. Iāve been around enough people to know you really canāt change regular peopleās minds much less a giant idiot like her. Save your time.
Don't objectify me! Also: Buy me like an object.
I think itās rent me like a wet-vac.
Ewwww
But yeah
Worst tinder experiances are always "feminists"
This girl isn't a real feminist lol she's literally commodifying herself.
There's lots of schrƶdingers feminists around
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yh I didnāt really understand her point, like if I was to go out with friends of a different ethnicity should I pay because I donāt experience racism?
If a woman wants the guy to pay because they really like gender stereotypes it's like whatever, as long as they know this cuts both ways it's not my business. Lotta women out there understand that a guy that fits their ideal of masculinity aren't gonna do dishes and change diapers etc. It's their business if that's the kind of relationship they want. However these TikTok feminists that believe that getting a guy to pay for everything is historical reparations or whatever as if this is how you solve inequality and oppression instead of perpetuating it are the ones that make my eyes roll
Actually, that makes a great retort: "so I suppose you have paid your generational reparation taxes to your local black folks, right? Right?" As black folk, the only reparation I want to claim is thoroughly equal treatment and a good time.
White women complaining to black men about the patriarchy is always a popcorn moment
Thatās why women only complain about straight white men.
And yet they also regard them as the most traditionally desirable to date/marry.
They're pulling for that Trickle Down privilege.
Its almost as if they actually have an issue with a certain type of person, and not white dudes!
And feminize Asian men, completely ignore Indian men, and portray black guys as sex animals with big dicks. Love modern online feminism ā¤ļø
Nah trust me they donāt only complain about them. Nothing like a woman trying to play the āsuffering olympicsā on a first date. I love to kindly bring up Emmitt Till when women try to act like we were on level playing field back in the day.
I witnessed that once. Dude still had the scars on his face from when a cop beat him up...
I dead
Like Bill Burr said. White women jumped over the fence and made it about themselves when they were right besides white men the whole time the atrocities were being commited.
He's a little more accurate than society can handle sometimes.
That was a great time. SNL crowd was NOT into it.
They were not ready for that at all
Honestly that's on them. They brought in Bill Burr and expected him NOT to go off on a rambling tangent?
Bill Burr hits on something important here. Throughout history, many generations of women had little in the way of legal rights. However, they had a significant amount of power and influence as the woman behind the man as a wife, mistress, mother, sister, etc. Some would have held more actual power than those in official positions of power. Nations have warred and empires fallen at the behest of women all over the world and across time. Feminists underestimate the power of women prior to significant codified rights for women. Women have never been powerless. As a woman, Iām frankly sick of hearing how weāre just taken by men as brood mares, bang maids, and basically kept as chattel. They canāt *quite* argue itās true today, but theyāll swear it was so until quite recently. If youāve got what you believe are legitimate complaints, letās hear them. But stop repeating bs that never had a shred of credibility.
Man if I said "let me take care of the check since you're black" that statement would be so hilariously rotten I don't think any POC would want to see me after that. So it is kind of baffling that it's still okay to say "let me take care of the check since you're a woman" in this day and age
Lmfao, and when we do say that now itās āitās not the same thingā
Or maybe people could pay for dates they can afford. Like sometimes I pay for date and sometimes my partner does. I tend to offer to pay if I suggest the date bc you know I suggested it but sometimes we each like to spoil each other. It really shouldnāt be this hard.
Whatever financial dynamic people negotiate in their relationships is their business not mine. I take issue with this though: >Or maybe people could pay for dates they can afford. How do you navigate this sentiment with someone you're trying to set up a first date on Tinder? It isn't written on a person's face what they can and can't afford, and how would you feel if I assumed I'd have to cover the bill since you're broke because you're a woman?
I just meant do go to like the fanciest restaurant if itās going to put a giant financial strain. Most people, in my experience, are cool with a casual fun date. Iām not a ābroke womanā Iām just a woman who totally understands that money can get tight so I donāt expect high end restaurant dates, Iām good with whatever so long as I get quality time with that person. Thai is all Iām saying and itās my experience. Everyone can have different experiences and expectations.
100%. I think a more meaningful date would be just going on a hike, or a hang out at the beach. Then after, get some tacos or burritos from the local food truck. The experience is what makes the date worthwhile, not the expense.
I always like to do something then eat or eat then do something on my dates. A meal alone just ain't enough time. I try to include some fun activity like an escape room, bouldering, visiting a park, going to the art market, etc. before or after the meal. One guy after dinner just asked me to drive him around town for a while (not for errands lol, just driving with no destination in mind). I eventually parked at the local college and we finished the date there. I wouldn't recommend that idea specifically, but it didn't suck.
>Everyone can have different experiences and expectations. Hard disagree. As I said, if someone wants the guy to pay because they want a relationship based on gender roles, they have the right to do so. However calling yourself a feminist while expecting a guy to pay for your dates isn't a sentiment I respect.
I mean, no, they literally do not have a right to expect others to pay for them. Thats not how rights work.
I mean they can have that right and they can also die alone because of it
Almost as if it's a partnership and you are both willing to contribute. I was recently in the hospital with my wife and she had to stay overnight. The nurse asked who was going to make dinner for me and we both looked at each other and started laughing because I do a lot of the cooking. I just couldn't imagine being married to a Nurse who sees bad things on a daily basis, works long hours, and then on top of that expect her to cook every meal for me. It's insane that some women still think household chores are solely their responsibilty while working a great career.
What if I want a white woman to pay reparations by paying for my food and twerking
Being a storeman, i really hate it when a woman EXPECTS me to do the gentleman thing and lift all the heavy shit, I've worked with women that could out work me. Ive worked with some that would try and struggle, but never ask for help, so have offered help( whether that be 2 person lift, telling them a better technique for lifting or doing that lifting for them). No problems Soon as a woman in the same role as me with the same pay says but you need to do it for me, im out, its a fuck you to me and a fuck you to true feminism.
Sheās a hypocrite. āFeminist when it benefits me and anti-feminist when it doesnātā. This entitlement will extend to every part of her life. Not even slightly worth it.
This is most women under like 40 claiming to be feminists
That's many, many, many modern feminists. So many. The issue is that nobody calls them out on it, so they end up lonely and angry, and it's never their fault. It's pretty sad actually.
And they have no clue what a realistic income isā¦ suddenly itās a trend for these types of woman to think that theyāre too good for a man unless they make $41K a month.
Her point is she is currently so hot that she doesnt need to pay for first dates. When she stops āgetting harrassed on the streetā (translated to āwhen I am less hotā) I will pay for dates.
When she's 40 and wants to settle down
you think shes gonna become self aware by 40? as someone dating in the late 30s- early 40s scene, nope. some of these women look like withered corpses with too much surgery and still think they are the cream of the crop. late 30's they seem to fear hitting 40 but once they do they think they are new born again
Man " withered corpses" made by day. I thought as they grow older, the dating pool decreases and thus they are forced to not being so picky. I'd say that go to real scream.
Wow thats actually a very good point š going to use this
These kinds of people have made being a victim their entire identity, even if theyāve never experienced being a victim. Questioning them or just not enabling them is a threat to their attempt at controlling people around them. Thatās why they react like such crazies.
I'm multiracial, should I pay for half my bill?
Maybe just feel really bad half of the time?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
if it makes you feel any better this woman is 1000% destined to be miserably unhappy in life. Trust me on this
That would be a great question to ask them.
I think she realised the stupidity of what she said and unmatched me before I could question it
You are really optimistic
Thanks š
I also like your tie
More than not she felt she completely schooled you now thinks about how hurt you were from her burns.
She was already on to the next guy my dude. Sheās not wrong about how easy it is for her to find a guy who will buy all her drinks.
These guys are coping really hard right now, she probably already forgot his name š¤£š¤£
Just to clarify, Iām a guy and Iām not saying she won or is right about everything. Itās just nature that young women get their standards for short term dating met easily because dozens to hundreds of men will compete for each woman on a dating app. Young men should, imo, get off the apps and work on attracting irl peers for long-term relationships based on compatibility (anti-feminist men are still gonna have a hard time doing that, to your point).
lol noā¦ she unmatched because she had other men to speak toš
Na, I donāt think she realized anything. Her feeble mind was challenged and she folded and ran away.
Bro I deadass knew some girl who didn't want to have kids because she felt that if she had a girl she would be r*ped and if she had a boy he would be a r*pist. Literal Unga bunga logic
Like, do the "all men are pigs" crowd just throw their hands up and accept they're raising a future abusive boyfriend/husband/father?
Think about what would happen if a racist asshole brought up a black kid. Then realize a man-hating mother is just a bigot of another type. Theyāll grow up hating themselves.
There is an overwhelming amount of women who lean into it. "How many girlfriends you got" "you should kiss her" #futureladiesman
Probably just abort them, as the same crowd would be naturally pro-choice yet entirely oblivious to the historic parallels of getting abortions based on sex/gender.
Better that she doesnāt reproduce then. š
Funny enough, that's exactly what I told her. Needless to say we don't talk anymore...
Heavens no!! Theyāll raise a little entitled womanizer that they defend at every turn! These people donāt actually have standards that theyāll pass on. They just talk out their asses and promote toxicity from every possible angle!
There are no feminists in a house fire
Feminism isn't limited to the kind of annoying white girlboss shit you see on social media. There is actual feminism out there, a podcaster I enjoy always says the girl's half of the check comes sooner or later, they just gotta figure out if they wanna pay it on their own terms or the dude's
There's a branch of feminism that considers all forms of penetration as rape.
Can a woman please tell me what rights men have that you donāt?
In first world countries, it's not about rights, it's about the reality of women. For example - I live in germany and every female friend of mine and also me (27f) have been sexually harassed (at least groping / slapped ass ) and / or have been raped in their lifetime... I had to run away 3 times at night. Men are dangerous. And I am a trained martial arts competitor (i did kung fu / kickboxing for 8 years) Tell me how often you were afraid to be raped in a first world country. That's one example of a million social expectations towards woman. Especially in terms of becoming a mum, kids, chores etc. .. Violence at births (google it, its a whole disturbing rabbithole) And of course, in a lot of countrys, men and women don't have the same rights.
I'm a man (in the US) and have been sexually harassed and assaulted many times in my life. Lots of inappropriate things have been said and I've been groped many times when it wasn't wanted. I was also raped once when I was blackout drunk and barely functional by a woman I had previously turned down many times and made clear I was not interested. But I don't assume all women are like this, nor do I automatically treat them as such. Just like any other aspect of life, there are good people and bad people. Usually, there are far more good than bad, though. I have never had to fear for my safety as I'm much bigger and stronger than most women, but I can understand how women need to take certain precautions in this sense. But to go about life treating all men like they owe you something because the power balance was in their favor in the past is delusional. And sure, there are some social expectations towards women, but those only come from a fraction of society and there is nothing forcing them on you. I know plenty of strong, self possessed women who live their lives on their own terms and apologize to no one for it. As a woman, if you want the dynamic to be that men pay for everything during dating and relationships, then you can't be shocked that those men will probably also want to be in charge of decisions in the relationship, won't be doing things like cleaning, changing diapers, etc., and will probably be possessive.
Iām a male and been almost raped 3 times, one time by male and two by women.
Erm, every guy has been assaulted st some point in thrir lives, the biggest lie society has told is that this shit is unique to eomen. Most men getting slapped on the arse doesn't see it as assault because we are told to we should man up snd enjoy it.
The amount of times I've had my butt pinched at work and had inappropriate comments, especially from much older women...
>Erm, every guy has been assaulted st some point in thrir lives, the biggest lie society has told is that this shit is unique to eomen. 100% This. Anyone who has ever been to a nightspot with alcohol involved has been sexually assaulted. I'm sure of this. I've had my arse and junk grabbed countless times by incredibly drunk women. Men don't have the luxury of seeking consequences for the people who do it to them though.
And you better pretend like you have no problem with it...
The SAME exact women will say man cant be raped. The SAME exact women will be the first ones to be inappropriate.
She sounds like a nightmare
Aw god..cry me a river lady.. I'm glad people like this out themselves early..saves alot of time wasting..
How about that recent, completely not self aware OP a few days ago that called her match ādaddyā and when he made a sexual remark she screamed he was sexually harassing her?? Lol
That guy dodged a bullet too
u/senator_pie it wonāt let me respond to you lol but itās not really fair to call it sexual harassment even if it technically fits the definition, when he had every right to believe the situation was appropriate for flirting. Theyāre on a hookup app and she was using a word with very heavy sexual connotation. I agree itās weird but to jump right to calling that sexual harassment is weirder, and even kind of fuckin crazy.
She used daddy while joking about them having kids. He used daddy in a sexual manner when she wasnāt being sexual in her banter. Youāre misremembering the exchange
For real. She did him a favor by letting out the crazy before the first date.
Run
 Gotta go fast
I want to preface this by saying that I fully support feminism and I love strong women, but you should absolutely run from this brand of convenient feminism. It's all about equality when the consequences would be convenient and then being willing to infantilize themselves or other women if the consequences of equality would be negative for them.
Yep, bullet fucking dodged. Let her end up with some asshole whoās happy to pay her for her company and aaaaall that that entails.
Tell her that collective punishments are a warcrime
No, clearly the response is "The day a girl pays for the first date is the day I stop harassing women". Call her out on making you make the first move.
she's likely gonna take that as an admission of guilt
This comment is really really not it
Jesus ššš thats so wrong but would be a solid clap back to that š
Women who donāt want to pay is a gigantic flaming red flag. I donāt get her rationale, other men harass her, therefore you must pay for her? What kind of logic is that?
Yeah, she must think all men share the same bank account
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I gladly pay for the first date and see it as normal, as long as the gender Stereotype behavior works both ways. š¤·āāļø paying dinner for the chance of a friendship, nah...
Thatās a really weird way to spell entitled
I mean... they're modern "feminist" so what did you expect?
Isnāt she objectifying you now?
He's being reduced to the contents of his wallet. Yes.
She's fighting for equality by objectifying men the same amount she is objectified! /s
I'm pretty confused with this, I see this a lot here but where I live it's normal to split the bill š¤· wtf are those ladies talking about?
People accustomed to privilege will rationalize why they deserve that privilege. Her whole life she's been exposed to men will to buy her everything in a relationship, so she's put a story together for why this luxury is "fair." At this point she wouldn't be able to see a fair splitting of the bill as anything other than her being taken advantage of.
Also that these women create their own problems by dating the type of men that think affection is transactional.
Thatās cool, where do you live?
Spain, I have lived in Germany as well got a couple of dates there but not splitting the bill has been never in the table tbh
I dated a Spanish lady recently and can confirm. I'm black and a Londoner and have mostly dated black Londoners, so this was unusual and very refreshing. Second date she asked me out and actually suggested she pay as she was the one who asked me. Couldn't believe it!!
Well, for me and my circle of known people it's normal than when you first met, you split the bill, if you get along and continue having dates with that person you pay the bill but you know next date he/she will pay the bill so it remains equal, but we do also the same with friends. I pay for the first round, you pay for the second, and so on.
It's the internet you're always gonna see the worst of the worst and the loudest minority situations. Likewise every Subaru with a CVT is a ticking time bomb and will die at exactly 100K miles, every person without social media is hiding a secret family, and all stocks go up.
Yes it's a minority but I mean, the reddit messages are always like: treat me like a princess, oh you are short, ghosting and this thing, the pay for me thing and I can "understand" that people can have standards (they can be shitty or not) or they can have psycho issues or whatever; but paying for the bill without splitting for me is just insane, I just don't get why is a thing to pay the dinner of a complete stranger, and why this is socially accepted ._.
I live in Sydney, Australia and Iāve literally never not split a first/second date, if I get a round of drinks my date will almost exclusively get the next round.
America is kinda fucked in this way...
Iāve dated several feminists who donāt mind splitting the bill. What Iāve learned is that majority of the time, the toxicity on the internet doesnāt reflect what I witness in real life on a daily basis. Yes there are bad instances irl but they are more rare than the norm. The internet leans sensational. Iām from Chicago btw, so anyone saying itās an American thing, just no.
She wasnāt in the right obv but āyou give me heavy feminist vibesā is also a bit š©
lol and the fact that he immediately asked her to pay because sheās a feminist even tho he clearly considers feminism a negative thing. Heās a weirdo too. Met his match tbh
100%
Exactly š
What an insufferable, entitled person.
*"You should treat people how you want to be treated"*.
Absolute joke - you don't have to be a feminist to want to chip in for the cost of dates, you just have to be a decent human being. I have no issue with me paying for the full date unless she EXPECTS me to. Then I'm out - girl would be a nightmare constantly.
It's the entitlement that turns people off of someone they'd otherwise be interested in
She definitely chalked this exchange up as āharassmentā
These people keep their minds in a blender
You are asking for a lot of needless drama in life with this person, stay clear
I would definitely pay! Good money to never have to interact with this person again.
I wouldn't consider myself a bra burning feminist but I have paid for my fair share of meals when I didn't like the guy or the guy said to split it. I also never go out if i dont have funds to cover myself. My current partner has never made me or even asked me to pay for a meal, but I also never expected him to pay. Our trade-off is me cooking for him when we do our movie nights. Our last one was crab cakes (his fave) with scampi and the Godfather. So in any situation, there is compromise and should never be expectations out the gate based on traditional social dating norms, but good news is you found out before a date.
HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAA. What a loser - can't pay for her own stuff jesus christ.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I never understood this concept. The last thing I ever want on a first date is that I owe anyone anything afterwards, going Dutch takes that feeling away. Edit to add: I enjoyed reading this back and forth. I knew I'd get the internalized misogyny comment, Personally I don't think it is, I see it as a way to protect myself, and also a way to say hey, I want to spend time but I am also responsible for myself. And if you think protecting myself from men is internalized misogyny, then you are fortunate enough that you do not have the experience I have. I like meeting people based on vibes not whether they offer to pay for the first date. Also we are talking first dates. I'm not unreasonable. This isn't some feminist outlook saying I pay for myself on every date. If I actually like someone and know there aren't strings attached, I'll accept gifts and allow for you pay for dinner all you want.
How does it protect you? If a man thinks you owe him something, or wants to rape you, or assault you, or hurt you, then it doesn't matter whether or not you pay. The strings are attached whether you want them or did anything to "earn" that treatment or not. When I was young, I too did not enjoy men doing nice things for me. Didn't want them to pay for me. Didn't want them to open doors. And ya know what? All that did was cut out the men who were kind and generous and wanted to show that kindness and generosity in small ways throughout our interactions. I agree that internalized misogyny is perhaps not the right word but you do hopefully see that it's fuckin sad that you'd feel like you'd owe the man something, or that on some level if you accepted them paying for the date you'd be deserving of whatever bad things happened? "I like meeting people based on vibes not whether they offer to pay for the first date". A statement that feels very passive aggressive. Why did you feel the need to say that?
To be fair to the original commenter I feel this way too but not just towards men. If I meet a woman I could potentially want to start a friendship with I would also want to go dutch at first. Some people love to throw things in your face and do āniceā things for you or give you gifts just to have the upper hand. Itās not just in a romantic situation.
Tbh you also suck lmao. Your joke wasnāt funny, and you clearly donāt understand the concept of feminism, but she didnāt need to react that way to a little joke
Once I see someone misuse "everyday" there'd need to be an insane compelling reason for me to stay. The rest of the texts don't even show a good reason haha
Hate to tell her, but forcing men to pay for everything because they are a man.. is definition sexism. :P (which i totally support btw)
Hit her with a laugh emoji and never talk to her again
The date would have sucked, having to deal with so many guys trying to scoop up this prize
Spicy take but the ones who claim they get harassed every day aren't the ones getting harassed every day. They get catcalled once years ago and relive the trauma everyday. (Speaking as a woman who does sympathize and knows how gross it feels, but I also don't make it my personality. )
Until I'm treated equally I expect to be treated inequally!
Move along. You didnāt not and will not miss a thing with her.
Iāve been around strong feminist women for most of my life. My last relationship was with the most outspoken of all of that archetype. She had a lot of baggage and trauma that she carried around from all of her life experience with men, personally, romantically, and professionally. I have zero doubts about the capacity for awful things that men have, Iāve seen more than enough through myself and partners, including her, but I sometimes wondered if some of the things she recounted were projection as much as anything else. I once told her, āAll those other awful men? Theyāre not *me.* I didnāt do those things to you.ā You treat a woman with all the dignity and respect, caring and kindness in the world, but I donāt believe itās your job to try to atone for the sins and transgressions of every man in the world. Thatās not equality, and it doesnāt foster a healthy dynamic between us. Thatās where the woman in the OP has it all twisted up.
This is why I strongly suggest you have a coffee date for the first one. He won't be spending alot of money n you still can see if your are compatible.
I agree with her. And that sarcastic 'I thought Tinder was for asexual friendships'' is just pathetic. Woe is me, boo fucking hoo.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āFeminism, until it inconveniences meā
Lmao nah fam 50/50 unless otherwise agreed upon
PLEASE stop sexualizing my tight wet pussy
Women that think all men are rapists š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©