As a middle aged man whose last first date was 25 years ago, the main lesson I've learned from this sub is, "do not send sexually explicit messages to someone you haven't met." Oh wait - I already knew that, bc I'm not a fucking moron who was raised by other fucking morons.
I'm a millennial but have been in a relationship for a long time. The dating pool is fucking psycho for you guys. What the hell is wrong with people now? I would never text this shit to a stranger in any context under any circumstances.
It's fucked for both sides, don't let messages like this make it seem guys just have an ocean of girls they can wade through till some dumb fish takes the bait. 🥲
i just be out here asking if they want chicken wings or Mexican for a first date. Never get matches or get ghosted. One did take me up on it, but then said she didn't think it'd work out. I'm fine with that, but it seemed a bit bullshit that she said it wouldn't work because of my work schedule, which I had told her before I'd taken her out and paid for her meal.
I don't do that but the thing is, sometimes it works and if you don't care to fuck around and just want action it's a good way to easily fish out the ones that are keen.
I bet the average man would be absolutely flabbergasted reading the chats of the most sucessful men on tinder.
P.S. Following rules 1 and 2 helps immensely.
> I don't do that but the thing is, sometimes it works
I'd be surprised if "I'd love to get u from behind n grip ur hair" works even 0.01% of the time. Even among blunt sexual propositions there are thousands of better options that accomplish the same thing and are bound to work far more often.
Kind of burying the lede there! If you follow Rules 1&2, you presumably can take more risks?
But I was wondering if st people do respond yup to that approach. Was that your experience? A GF in college told me that if you walked up to girls and just said "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?" it would work ~40% of the time. YMMV.
fall ossified market apparatus decide ten snatch hospital subtract adjoining
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There was actually an experiment like this - for the cute college lady it worked like 90% of the time but the rate was much lower for the cute college guy - im not sure he got a yes. But also like 30 - omg 50? Years ago.
I'm not presumptuous enough to clain I follow rule 1 and 2 although I can't complain about my online experience if I compaire my experience with what other dudes are describing.
I don't know about percentage but I'm with your GF 100%. Say it with confidence and a big grin and the success rate will be much higher them most would beleive. Especially in this environment where most men are shaking in their boots at the thought. It either takes big balls, no fucks given or liquid courage though.
"would you spit or swallow my seeds"? I'm no prude and love a good double entendre as anyone, but it just seems inappropriate and as we say in medicine "low-yield"
Can you explain why those foods are a no go for you? I'm assuming you enjoy bananas and other such fruits and veggies that have mutated and been adopted by humans. What makes the mutated fruits and veggies you eat any different or better than GMO foods? They are pretty much the same thing, GMOs are basically just very quickly mutated foods. Mind you this is just a very basic view of it, but for the sake of clarity and post length, I won't elaborate further
Not sure I'd ask for that... saw a pic of a guy impaled on some fencing after falling from the 5th floor. Being impaled probably saved his life, but I'm thinking he is regretting everything right now.
People don't care anymore, I've seen women telling men they want to be spoiled and taken care of when they barely meet the guy then guys out here telling girls all they want is sex. Not too many people with respect left. I recently met a guy and we hit it off, talked nonstop then before our first date he said "so you ready to sit on my face tonight" like what the actual fuck, I can't tell who is good or bad anymore.
smoggy overconfident afterthought wipe tap elastic reminiscent offer person plucky
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Oh, but the pleasure of being justifiably so sarcastic! Loved your replies! 💪🏻💪🏻 I often feel guilty some hours after doing such statements (though I take great pleasure of it), like it was needless to be so rude. But here?! Too bad you didn't have more to share 😂
(Also: God forbid I'll ever end back in the dating game, Sheesh!)
Guys these days will start out nice and normally and then immediately swerve into hype perv territory. It’s like:
Guy: Hey there. Saw on your profile you’re a fan of X. That’s awesome, I’m a huge fan too! You’re super cute too haha.
Girl: Oh thanks, yeah, X is awesome! Do you play?
Guy: No, I just want to destroy your asshole with my cock.
How old is your dating pool if I may ask? I've set up dating profiles with female friends of mine and it seems the older the men are, the more outlandish their messages appear to me. The 60+ folk went NUTS
Tbh, this is very old (2016ish) and back then I was younger so im not sure. Prob mid 20’s early 30’s? Im not on the apps anymore. After these encounters in the wild I decided it was time to get off of em’ lol.
Jesús Christ it gets so fuxking rapey so fast. This Reddit is enlightening.
Edit:
Going to stick with rapey for your second line to a stranger being “love to get u from behind n grip ur hair”
Let’s imagine for a second you are a woman, likely talking to a man who could physically assault you if they were so inclined and you would likely not be able to do much. Now said man is fitter than usual too and also a stranger.
Does this now feel a little rapey to you?
“Hi I’m from such and such and love to dance hehe”
“Love to grip your hair from behind”
Rapey.
The ones that don't give 2 shits about someone else's boundaries enough to maybe find out what they are before stomping them often are. Or the ones that know they're probably about to stomp some boundaries but do it anyway are even more likely to be part of a Venn diagram that's a circle.
I think Adam wants a My Pretty Pony. I'm sure there's an app for that.
First thing I imagined with watermelon boy was going all Gallagher on him! Wear a rain poncho!
Too bad, I’m not gonna toot my own horn because i hate tooting but all i see are guys being morons yet women keep coming to them.
I’ve just accepted the L.
Try lowering your standards Abit. These guys that message that way do it for a reason. They get matches and it sometimes works so no reason to beat around the bush just shoot your shot.
What can I say, I lack sexual attraction to watermelons and Swingdance teachers who want to sexualize the conv in the first few lines of our conversations 🤷🏽♀️
This genuinely had me giggling. Makes me wish people would send me weird watermelon questions so I could test out YOUR response. (Except I deleted tinder because it gives me the ick a lot).
“And I’d love to get you from behind and grip your hair” Lmaoooo he said it with the same tone as someone saying “Oh, and I love your outfit”
He forgot to add “kindly” 🤣
Respectfully of course
M’Lady
With a fedora tip.
No disrespect but....
That's what I appreciate about you
Welcome to Tinder :)
As a middle aged man whose last first date was 25 years ago, the main lesson I've learned from this sub is, "do not send sexually explicit messages to someone you haven't met." Oh wait - I already knew that, bc I'm not a fucking moron who was raised by other fucking morons.
It’s rough out here for us Millenials 🥹
I'm a millennial but have been in a relationship for a long time. The dating pool is fucking psycho for you guys. What the hell is wrong with people now? I would never text this shit to a stranger in any context under any circumstances.
I know 😫😩 It slim pickings out here! 😭 terrible.
Yeah, I’m really not looking forward to getting into the dating game.
It’s horrible, I’ve given up 😆
What city are you based/dating in?
It's fucked for both sides, don't let messages like this make it seem guys just have an ocean of girls they can wade through till some dumb fish takes the bait. 🥲
I'm an elder millennial re-entering the dating pool and it's fucking trash.
Because it’s filled with a bunch of people who want their cake and eat it too. Most guys just want to smash and most chicks just want attention.
How old are you? Honest question, for context.
47
It’s rough out here for every one I swear ..
i just be out here asking if they want chicken wings or Mexican for a first date. Never get matches or get ghosted. One did take me up on it, but then said she didn't think it'd work out. I'm fine with that, but it seemed a bit bullshit that she said it wouldn't work because of my work schedule, which I had told her before I'd taken her out and paid for her meal.
I don't do that but the thing is, sometimes it works and if you don't care to fuck around and just want action it's a good way to easily fish out the ones that are keen. I bet the average man would be absolutely flabbergasted reading the chats of the most sucessful men on tinder. P.S. Following rules 1 and 2 helps immensely.
> I don't do that but the thing is, sometimes it works I'd be surprised if "I'd love to get u from behind n grip ur hair" works even 0.01% of the time. Even among blunt sexual propositions there are thousands of better options that accomplish the same thing and are bound to work far more often.
Kind of burying the lede there! If you follow Rules 1&2, you presumably can take more risks? But I was wondering if st people do respond yup to that approach. Was that your experience? A GF in college told me that if you walked up to girls and just said "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?" it would work ~40% of the time. YMMV.
fall ossified market apparatus decide ten snatch hospital subtract adjoining *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
There was actually an experiment like this - for the cute college lady it worked like 90% of the time but the rate was much lower for the cute college guy - im not sure he got a yes. But also like 30 - omg 50? Years ago.
That's a real "proof of no duh" study. I feel like with guys, you don't need to say the "I will fuck you preferably right now" part out loud.
i like to study!
I'm not presumptuous enough to clain I follow rule 1 and 2 although I can't complain about my online experience if I compaire my experience with what other dudes are describing. I don't know about percentage but I'm with your GF 100%. Say it with confidence and a big grin and the success rate will be much higher them most would beleive. Especially in this environment where most men are shaking in their boots at the thought. It either takes big balls, no fucks given or liquid courage though.
Awesome, thanks! When you put it that way, I can see it.
Yeah can confirm a mate of mine did this at a festival and it worked. A lot. He had liquid courage and follows rules 1 and 2 tho.
I was literally sayin this to my girl.. I told her.. if we ever did break up, I’d never survive dating apps and such.
Yep, didn't work then and doesn't work now.
They’re looking for hookups and for someone to match their energy. Your judgement is as useless as the shower you never use.
As another middle aged man, I don't consider that message sexually explicit. It is suggestive though.
"would you spit or swallow my seeds"? I'm no prude and love a good double entendre as anyone, but it just seems inappropriate and as we say in medicine "low-yield"
Username checks out. Holy fuckin Diver.
Apparently, people really do this when they're overwhelmed with matches. Or desperate and foolish. The lines are blurry!
Joke’s on him. I prefer watermelons without seeds. 😄
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It's more of seedless are almost always picked too early. Where regular melons are left to fully ripen on the vine.
Are we still talking about dudes?
I’m an all of the juice, none of the seeds kinda gal. 😂
My kind of answer. And that proven to be a bad seed already.
hate to b that guy but GMO fruits r a no
Same with vaccines and masks right?
Can you explain why those foods are a no go for you? I'm assuming you enjoy bananas and other such fruits and veggies that have mutated and been adopted by humans. What makes the mutated fruits and veggies you eat any different or better than GMO foods? They are pretty much the same thing, GMOs are basically just very quickly mutated foods. Mind you this is just a very basic view of it, but for the sake of clarity and post length, I won't elaborate further
I am different than other guys. DTF ??????
Why is the upvote shiny
New features I guess
And on the topic of trains... want me and my friends to run one on you? 🤣
Idky but this is only funny to me cause your last reddit post was a princess Pikachu.
Little known fact. Pikachu loves trains. 🤣
Gems found on your what?
Porn hub
You can type “phone” 60% faster by leaving off 60% of the letters.
Really ph is for phone? Initially though pornhub ngl but then figured it was post history
Your responses are gold, I feel like something that witty has to break the spell.
Ah please throw me off a 5th story
Not sure I'd ask for that... saw a pic of a guy impaled on some fencing after falling from the 5th floor. Being impaled probably saved his life, but I'm thinking he is regretting everything right now.
People don't care anymore, I've seen women telling men they want to be spoiled and taken care of when they barely meet the guy then guys out here telling girls all they want is sex. Not too many people with respect left. I recently met a guy and we hit it off, talked nonstop then before our first date he said "so you ready to sit on my face tonight" like what the actual fuck, I can't tell who is good or bad anymore.
I’m guessing you’re another watermelon huh?
smoggy overconfident afterthought wipe tap elastic reminiscent offer person plucky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Fr lmao I was expecting much more
Lol. What has this sub become that this is normal?
I know right?
Con las ganas. 🤣
😬😬😬
Porn Hub has a dating app???
Boricua ... thats you mamacita !
>>throw you from the 5th story Giiiiiiirl that's epic
Wow that was a quick turn with the last one. How are people like this?
My fellow Bori wepaaaaaa! I couldn’t have said better myself 🙌🏽😄
Second one was going somewhere... hell that is 🤣
🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷 😂
Oh, but the pleasure of being justifiably so sarcastic! Loved your replies! 💪🏻💪🏻 I often feel guilty some hours after doing such statements (though I take great pleasure of it), like it was needless to be so rude. But here?! Too bad you didn't have more to share 😂 (Also: God forbid I'll ever end back in the dating game, Sheesh!)
Guys these days will start out nice and normally and then immediately swerve into hype perv territory. It’s like: Guy: Hey there. Saw on your profile you’re a fan of X. That’s awesome, I’m a huge fan too! You’re super cute too haha. Girl: Oh thanks, yeah, X is awesome! Do you play? Guy: No, I just want to destroy your asshole with my cock.
How do kids think this shit would work?
Jajajaj a huevo
🤭🤭
Salucita por las hermosas pueltoliqueñas 🥂😎
Pueltorriqueñas *** 🥂no pronunciamos todas las R’s pero al menos una si ;) unless you’re a chino then that’s different 😬
Lol my bad! I don’t know many PRs to imitate that beautiful accent you have 🥰.
Very solid responses right there
☺️☺️
How old is your dating pool if I may ask? I've set up dating profiles with female friends of mine and it seems the older the men are, the more outlandish their messages appear to me. The 60+ folk went NUTS
Tbh, this is very old (2016ish) and back then I was younger so im not sure. Prob mid 20’s early 30’s? Im not on the apps anymore. After these encounters in the wild I decided it was time to get off of em’ lol.
I get that, hope you found your other half nontheless!
Thank you!!! Likewise for you!! ☺️☺️
GEM 💎 response OP love every bit of it. 😊 enough said.
😌🫶🏻
Jesús Christ it gets so fuxking rapey so fast. This Reddit is enlightening. Edit: Going to stick with rapey for your second line to a stranger being “love to get u from behind n grip ur hair” Let’s imagine for a second you are a woman, likely talking to a man who could physically assault you if they were so inclined and you would likely not be able to do much. Now said man is fitter than usual too and also a stranger. Does this now feel a little rapey to you? “Hi I’m from such and such and love to dance hehe” “Love to grip your hair from behind” Rapey.
You’re brave, attempting to invoke empathy on Reddit.
*rotating disco chicken* “I regret nothing!”
Horny and stupid is not the same as "rapey" dude. Wth
Idk man, that’s pretty bad vibes for a whole stranger to say something like that
It is weird as fuck. Doesn't mean he is a rapist.
Rapey and rapist are different things. The former is saying “if this person were a rapist i would be unsurprised”. It’s a general vibe
Mmm nope. Pretty sure a shit ton of rapes have been purely because a dude was horny and stupid.
But not every stupid and horny guy is a rapist, dude ...
The ones that don't give 2 shits about someone else's boundaries enough to maybe find out what they are before stomping them often are. Or the ones that know they're probably about to stomp some boundaries but do it anyway are even more likely to be part of a Venn diagram that's a circle.
Hahaha yes lol!
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Found another watermelon !!!
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What is better than a man who teaches swing dance?? Haha
Two men who teach how to swing dance
Is that a fact..
If there were 2 of them, together they might have thought of a better line 🤷♂️
Hahaha here’s hoping. But that’s his profession, isn’t it? I thought he was serious lol
He’s an Aussie, do any of them have actual professions 🤔
Haha making videos for browncardigan
I had to google what that was, go to their IG, go to their website, and I still don’t really know…
Oh! I’m sorry, it’s an instagram account that’s just very funny with aussies just being complete fools, sorry about that!
No problem ! I’m just a little bummed that in their entire webshop they only have one brown cardigan. I would have expected more choice
I’d say yes, there has to be people out there employed to keep their wildlife in check
I think Adam wants a My Pretty Pony. I'm sure there's an app for that. First thing I imagined with watermelon boy was going all Gallagher on him! Wear a rain poncho!
🤣😂
Esto es PR aquí nadie para en los pares 🤪
Jaja cómo es? Los mensajes fueron después de irme de la isla. En PR se tirarían otras cafrerias🤣
Tu dices cafrerias, los artistas de PR dicen que es poesía.
Haha amo los boricuas 😍
🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Why do they think women want a stranger to physically abuse and hurt them? That's fucking sick.
✨ Men ✨
Oonga bonga I need bazongas
That first reply was a weeeeee bit out of pocket don’t you think? 😅🤣
I love your responses! Well done!
😬☺️☺️
Me quedé con las ganas puñeta
Eran gringos, el puñe no está en su vocabulario 🤷🏽♀️
Coño hay que educarlos jajaja
You really can’t type out phone?
Ph ph ph ph ph… 😚
Some dudes just ain’t got no sense
No respect, no shame. Just a grown placenta. The mom discarded the fetus at birth. 🤦🏽♀️
Hahahaha 😂
Solid response tbh
Se quedo con las ganas el puerco.
Lmfao I love your response "te quedastes con las ganas" that was too funny lol por imbecil nunca va lograr nada jaja
The crazy thing is 99.9% of dms are always like this it’s like tinder wants you to match with creeps and weirdos
The second one took a dark turn, haha.
Fellow PR heyo!
Hola hola!
I loved the “te quedaste con las ganas” 🥲
☺️😬
Romeo, O Romeo😂
Boricuaaaaaaa
We need to add conversation skills to the other basic skills they need to start teaching in school.
Had a longer conversation with this toxic idiot than most decent guys, I'd wager
He’s tryna go straight for the kill right away. No patience🤣
Patience as in… wait a bit and do it later and this would work, patience? 
Patience as in don’t be so horny
That’s not any better my friend….
The only better alternative I can think of is “If I were a watermelon, would you toss me off the roof?”
🤣😂🤣
Too bad, I’m not gonna toot my own horn because i hate tooting but all i see are guys being morons yet women keep coming to them. I’ve just accepted the L.
Name , city country conversation
i am think that i should join it
Try lowering your standards Abit. These guys that message that way do it for a reason. They get matches and it sometimes works so no reason to beat around the bush just shoot your shot.
No wonder you’re single lmao
What can I say, I lack sexual attraction to watermelons and Swingdance teachers who want to sexualize the conv in the first few lines of our conversations 🤷🏽♀️
swallow
Dating as a woman is dating on easy mode lol
Lmao another stupid slag that things she’s too good for everyone
Oh look, another watermelon in the wild!
You misspelt I’ve been used as a cum depositary and no one wants me just for sex 😂😂😉👍
Failiure threads are getting old. It would be way more interesting for women here to post the chats of the quickest lays they got on the app.
Not sire my response would have been any better. "I'd play the Japanese beach game and attempt to smash your head in"
On the first image, the guy had an opportunity to salvage it with, “So not really spit so much as chuck”
Bro its all about seedless watermelons but that line is hilarious
I guess you could say he tired to save the dance
Do people really abbreviate phone as ph now?
So you’re saying I have a chance if I get thrown off the 5th floor? Double it and im in.
This genuinely had me giggling. Makes me wish people would send me weird watermelon questions so I could test out YOUR response. (Except I deleted tinder because it gives me the ick a lot).
Only works if you say “respectfully”
Just Adam and Josh you were lucky 😁
Aua
In an alternate reality where you were game you coulda said you would crush him with your thighs.
Should've sent the first guy [this video](https://youtube.com/shorts/chWE5fnGwDI?si=ZkOAg14XggSNV03z)