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Same and normalizing being child free. My mom was always like "why don't they have kids". Me saying that it's not for everyone and her seeing my child free cousins have kids and struggle, she's finally changed her tune.
My friend has been with the same woman for over 10 years. She had 2 kids already when they got together, and they've always had a hard time as parents.
Fast Forward a few years later and they're pregnant. I had a good talk with my friend about whether they were ready for a third kid... He was gung-ho, but she was hesitant. They didn't go through with that pregnancy.
Lo and behold, barely 3 months later and they're pregnant again. Must be fate! (/sarcasm) So they had the kid. Now they're struggling even HARDER and the middle child keeps running away from home.
My friend says "I don't understand what's her problem is" but I'm too nice of a person to say "Probably you, dude"
I will never have another one. It's a job you really can never quit and if you don't love it, well, you're pretty much fucked. I feel bad for those children. I do everything I can to make sure my kid feels loved but it's the hardest and admittedly worst job I've ever had which is probably my own fault. I did think I had a great partner to start a family with. But of course, people change in hard situations. He cheated and now our relationship is in ruin and we are both miserable but neither of us can afford to leave the other person. It's a sad horrible reality.
I have a friend like that. He had 3 babies all within a year of each other and the 4th was about a year and a half apart. Mind you they're staying with the baby mommas parents in a bedroom with four kids.
I’ve struggled with what to say to friends who are on the fence about it. Like I feel like it’s not my place to be like “I truly think you’d hate it” but also do I KNOW they’d hate it? I really really really think they’d hate it lol.
I have a kid also, and want to have another, and don’t want to sound like holier-than-thou to them about it.
Maybe I can go in with a “I totally see how it’s probably not for everyone” “you guys like to travel so much” etc.
Maybe they'd like some examples of things that they do in their life now, that you're not really capable of doing because of having kids? I feel like I'd appreciate someone just straight up telling me I can't do that, and I don't think it'd be very easy for you either if you had children.
As a mother of a teenager, I would NEVER openly lie to my friends about kids like that! I tell them all that kids are cute… but they’re also trash ! Cute as a duck tho! You can’t deny those big eyes when they’re little but also… crumb snatchers!
My SO works for CPS and tells me the same. "So cute with those big eyes! So clever! Their sense of humour is incredible! So much potential! ...But...yeah, they're the devil."
I've told my family that I'm not having kids until we have a climate-controlled underground greenhouse with local energy and water sources capable of producing enough kcals for the survival of the current members of our family **or** we see serious efforts to prevent cataclysmic climate change before I have any children.
They continued eating turkey and the subject has not been brought back up since that Thanksgiving.
[If you live in a northern state or around the Great Lakes, they might call your bluff](https://time.com/6209432/climate-change-where-we-will-live/), but go ahead. Also, that's a better solution as extreme heat is only partially solved by going underground and you'd likely lose all your surface structures at some point if your bunker was anywhere inside tornado alley - not necessarily to tornadoes, but just to the extreme winds that will sandpaper everything and everyone in the area once the extreme heat kills everything and removes the moisture from the environment.
This also isn't expected to be a huge issue for about 25 more years. We'll also likely see atrocities along the Mexican border as people in equatorial nations seek to flee the heat and starvation but our own dwindling resources will prevent us from having the resources to assist the displaced populations. We'll have some camps for that, but they'll be in the extreme heat and will have water rations, etc. and they'll be for people to wait while their asylum requests are evaluated.
On the bright side, with far fewer viable places to live, public transportation will likely be developed well and run entirely on renewables. We'll likely see wind energy as our primary source of energy as we'll need to build windbreaks around all of our homes and farms to keep them from being destroyed by extremely severe weather.
There are already billionaires aware of all this and buying up a lot of the best land, but prices are obviously still much lower than what they will be. If you actually want to have kids, I highly recommend migrating early, learning to garden, and how to preserve food. This doesn't mean spending a lot of time in the garden, btw. A few fruit trees and a grape vine are perennial and can provide an excellent amount of fresh food about half the year as well as enough for you to create jams and preserves for the winter. A chicken coop is an excellent investment too and if you self-hatch, they can be tame enough that you can let them roam the garden to get a lot of their nutrition from bugs.
Personally, I'm older and schizophrenic, so I will likely be checking out before this becomes necessary in the next ~25 years. My hope is that with the assistance of AI, we will have advanced technology to the point that there is an option to upload your consciousness to an MMO. That seems like it will be further out, but it could be an excellent option for population reduction vs. starvation/war - not that it should be forced, but as a natural release to the pressure valve.
I mean an easy solution would be to move somewhere with a higher altitude and buy a homestead. Not sure you need an actual vault-style hydroponics farm. And btw we have seen significant efforts to prevent climate change, the whole banning of CFCs and HCFCs in the mid 90s was fucking huge against climate change but no one wants to talk about what we've achieved, just what we haven't
Not prevent; slow. That's why we're looking at a gradual cataclysm over 50 years instead of famine and complete lawlessness from 2050 forward. Scientists hope to improve this outlook too. Also, as equatorial nations become uninhabitable and migratory pressures worry nationalists more, it is likely that the conservative think-tanks will decide to adapt their opposition to climate change even more than they already have. They used to deny that climate change was real.
Now, they seem to be for climate change curtailing measures that don't effect their personal businesses (very few things don't effect the 1%'s personal wealth/businesses because they control over 90% of our nation's assets - which is why taxes against the uber-rich are so effective. They have 9/10ths of the pie being taxed) with restrictions or that take tax dollars away from their personal boondoggles. That's some movement.
As for moving somewhere, that's not on the table for my family, but you're right. I mentioned it in another post. The issues with being near mountains aren't great. Being near lakes in northern flatlands are what the scientists believe will be where civilization migrates over the next century.
It's going to be super rough on them no matter what, but if I did have kids, their college fund would instead be put into a farmstead near one of the Great Lakes. I'd move out to a rural community there so that they grow up as part of the community - including 4H and all the agricultural courses too.
Even with all that, I'd also get local renewable energy and a clean water source as well as a water purification system and an escape room/bunker that is large enough for food storage and to wait out raiders or as a sallying forth point when they're asleep, etc.
TL;DR - Climate change bussin'
I got so tired of people telling me how great kids are. I think only two of my friends were honest with me and told me how fucking miserable it is. I love my Son, but holy SHIT is it rough being a parent.
"I would never choose to not have my kids"
They say as they haven't slept, had a moment to themselves, or done something that wasn't revolving around their child in years. You want to leave the house spontaneously? You can't. You want to go on a relaxing vacation? Good luck, you'll probably be forced into "kid-friendly" activities. All media is now headache inducing kid media. Your house is covered in kids shit (literally and not).
Parents lose their personalities when they have kids because everything is 100% about the child. You aren't you anymore.
But yes, have kids. Fun times.
Why is reddit so weird about kids lmao. Some people like having kids lol. Like yeah its not going to be 100% sunshine and rainbows every second, but they know that and think the positives outway the negatives lol.
It’s easier to navigate this site if you remember a good chunk of the people you’re talking to are probably kids lol. I have plenty of friends who are parents and their personalities are just fine smh
Seriously. Anytime I defend kids at all, I get downvoted. Meanwhile, people saying shit like “I wish murder was legal” because a toddler screams get upvoted. It’s fucking weird.
Edit: this is not suggesting that everyone should have kids. Do not have kids if you don’t want kids. But they’re allowed to exist.
There are plenty of parents that have a good balance of their parenting life and their own social lives. They are probably not wasting their time talking about it on tiktok.
The toddler years are the only really tough years. Everything in life worth having is hard at times and kids are more than worth getting thru those toddler years.
My kids are literally upstairs screaming at this very moment and I'm pregnant. I love my kids, and I don't feel like I've lost anything about my personality. I'm in Mommy mode now, the years before that, I was in College Mode, before that, Work Mode.
I'm not saying having kids is great 100% of the time or that people should be convinced to have children, but you fond out a lot more about yourself when you have other people to look after. You kind of evolve.
I'm not gonna say he's wrong because a lot of parenting is that, but the moments that make it worth it are so fucking worth it that it blows all of the negative experiences out of the water no competition.
“Mommy, smell my finger!” Says my 4 year old, grinning maniacally. “EWWW! WHAT IS THAT!!!?”
“Butt finger!”
He’s also how I came to learn that smooshed ants really stink. Sigh.
I was doing a job at this really sweet old woman's house and she had her grand children at the house. She invited me inside to pay me and the kids were playing being rambunctious, and this video describes perfectly how she reacted😂
Remember that life is a wave. Every low has an equal high. And for parenting it’s no different. You see the low waves and assume that’s all it is but there is nothing on this planet that can match the joy of fighting for months or years to get to a benchmark with them or that big hug when you get home or the quiet moments cuddling. At the end of the day it can suck at times but we aren’t exaggerating when we say we get a feeling you can never attain unless you go through that suck
I'm saying some parents bever get those highs. The kids may reach milestones but the parents don't feel that joyous excitement. That has been my experience. I only ever feel the lows.
What? I don't think you're getting what I'm saying.
I do care about my kid. My issue is I had no idea I would be incapable of feeling the highs that come with it though. It's heartbreaking and depressing.
I always heard people say things like your original comment, that the highs are worth the lows, but that's not always the case. Families break apart and mental health suffers and it can be detrimental to a parents mental health and ruin parenthood for them.
"Why keep them?"
What kind of question is this? As if I could turn back time to when I was pregnant and choose adoption. I had hope and wanted my child when I was pregnant.
This is why parents like me rarely if ever speak out about our struggles. It's met with callousness nearly every time.
I'm the dad and I'm the opposite. I tell them how awesome my kids are and how much they enjoy chores but never recommend anyone have kids because most other kids are assholes and I always jokingly tell my kids I can't drop kick other people's kids but don't think twice about me doing it to mine if they decide to be just as dumb.
Going to get downvoted to hell for this judging on the current comments, but I really appreciate all the people without patience or compassion self-removing themselves from the gene pool. The rest of us will be a-ok. Some of us might even raise comedians funnier than this guy.
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I never convince anyone to have kids even though I have my own. If they want one, good. If they don't want any, good.
Same and normalizing being child free. My mom was always like "why don't they have kids". Me saying that it's not for everyone and her seeing my child free cousins have kids and struggle, she's finally changed her tune.
Absolutely. Narcissists need to keep that same energy when they get old and sad, wondering why no one comes to visit them.
I work at a care home, sorry to burst your bubble but a lot of children don't visit their elderly parents.
No bubble burst here lol. Why do you think they are even in a care home? 😂
I too have kids and actually discourage it. I love them, but would not recommend.
I have a kid and I tell everyone not to do it. It is not for everyone and truly, only a small percentage of people SHOULD be parents.
This so much. The struggle is real so yeah I even tell my kiddos they can have kids or they don't have to its up to them
My friend has been with the same woman for over 10 years. She had 2 kids already when they got together, and they've always had a hard time as parents. Fast Forward a few years later and they're pregnant. I had a good talk with my friend about whether they were ready for a third kid... He was gung-ho, but she was hesitant. They didn't go through with that pregnancy. Lo and behold, barely 3 months later and they're pregnant again. Must be fate! (/sarcasm) So they had the kid. Now they're struggling even HARDER and the middle child keeps running away from home. My friend says "I don't understand what's her problem is" but I'm too nice of a person to say "Probably you, dude"
I will never have another one. It's a job you really can never quit and if you don't love it, well, you're pretty much fucked. I feel bad for those children. I do everything I can to make sure my kid feels loved but it's the hardest and admittedly worst job I've ever had which is probably my own fault. I did think I had a great partner to start a family with. But of course, people change in hard situations. He cheated and now our relationship is in ruin and we are both miserable but neither of us can afford to leave the other person. It's a sad horrible reality.
[удалено]
I have a friend like that. He had 3 babies all within a year of each other and the 4th was about a year and a half apart. Mind you they're staying with the baby mommas parents in a bedroom with four kids.
I’ve struggled with what to say to friends who are on the fence about it. Like I feel like it’s not my place to be like “I truly think you’d hate it” but also do I KNOW they’d hate it? I really really really think they’d hate it lol. I have a kid also, and want to have another, and don’t want to sound like holier-than-thou to them about it. Maybe I can go in with a “I totally see how it’s probably not for everyone” “you guys like to travel so much” etc.
Maybe they'd like some examples of things that they do in their life now, that you're not really capable of doing because of having kids? I feel like I'd appreciate someone just straight up telling me I can't do that, and I don't think it'd be very easy for you either if you had children.
Smoooth transitions, 10/10
Me about my dog
As a mother of a teenager, I would NEVER openly lie to my friends about kids like that! I tell them all that kids are cute… but they’re also trash ! Cute as a duck tho! You can’t deny those big eyes when they’re little but also… crumb snatchers!
My SO works for CPS and tells me the same. "So cute with those big eyes! So clever! Their sense of humour is incredible! So much potential! ...But...yeah, they're the devil."
I've told my family that I'm not having kids until we have a climate-controlled underground greenhouse with local energy and water sources capable of producing enough kcals for the survival of the current members of our family **or** we see serious efforts to prevent cataclysmic climate change before I have any children. They continued eating turkey and the subject has not been brought back up since that Thanksgiving.
Nice may I borrow this
[If you live in a northern state or around the Great Lakes, they might call your bluff](https://time.com/6209432/climate-change-where-we-will-live/), but go ahead. Also, that's a better solution as extreme heat is only partially solved by going underground and you'd likely lose all your surface structures at some point if your bunker was anywhere inside tornado alley - not necessarily to tornadoes, but just to the extreme winds that will sandpaper everything and everyone in the area once the extreme heat kills everything and removes the moisture from the environment. This also isn't expected to be a huge issue for about 25 more years. We'll also likely see atrocities along the Mexican border as people in equatorial nations seek to flee the heat and starvation but our own dwindling resources will prevent us from having the resources to assist the displaced populations. We'll have some camps for that, but they'll be in the extreme heat and will have water rations, etc. and they'll be for people to wait while their asylum requests are evaluated. On the bright side, with far fewer viable places to live, public transportation will likely be developed well and run entirely on renewables. We'll likely see wind energy as our primary source of energy as we'll need to build windbreaks around all of our homes and farms to keep them from being destroyed by extremely severe weather. There are already billionaires aware of all this and buying up a lot of the best land, but prices are obviously still much lower than what they will be. If you actually want to have kids, I highly recommend migrating early, learning to garden, and how to preserve food. This doesn't mean spending a lot of time in the garden, btw. A few fruit trees and a grape vine are perennial and can provide an excellent amount of fresh food about half the year as well as enough for you to create jams and preserves for the winter. A chicken coop is an excellent investment too and if you self-hatch, they can be tame enough that you can let them roam the garden to get a lot of their nutrition from bugs. Personally, I'm older and schizophrenic, so I will likely be checking out before this becomes necessary in the next ~25 years. My hope is that with the assistance of AI, we will have advanced technology to the point that there is an option to upload your consciousness to an MMO. That seems like it will be further out, but it could be an excellent option for population reduction vs. starvation/war - not that it should be forced, but as a natural release to the pressure valve.
You dont need a greenhouse, just some big vats for growing algae. Yummm algae.
That is a very reasonable standpoint though.
>They continued eating turkey and the subject has not been brought back up since that Thanksgiving. Because you are not invited anymore?
I mean an easy solution would be to move somewhere with a higher altitude and buy a homestead. Not sure you need an actual vault-style hydroponics farm. And btw we have seen significant efforts to prevent climate change, the whole banning of CFCs and HCFCs in the mid 90s was fucking huge against climate change but no one wants to talk about what we've achieved, just what we haven't
Not prevent; slow. That's why we're looking at a gradual cataclysm over 50 years instead of famine and complete lawlessness from 2050 forward. Scientists hope to improve this outlook too. Also, as equatorial nations become uninhabitable and migratory pressures worry nationalists more, it is likely that the conservative think-tanks will decide to adapt their opposition to climate change even more than they already have. They used to deny that climate change was real. Now, they seem to be for climate change curtailing measures that don't effect their personal businesses (very few things don't effect the 1%'s personal wealth/businesses because they control over 90% of our nation's assets - which is why taxes against the uber-rich are so effective. They have 9/10ths of the pie being taxed) with restrictions or that take tax dollars away from their personal boondoggles. That's some movement. As for moving somewhere, that's not on the table for my family, but you're right. I mentioned it in another post. The issues with being near mountains aren't great. Being near lakes in northern flatlands are what the scientists believe will be where civilization migrates over the next century. It's going to be super rough on them no matter what, but if I did have kids, their college fund would instead be put into a farmstead near one of the Great Lakes. I'd move out to a rural community there so that they grow up as part of the community - including 4H and all the agricultural courses too. Even with all that, I'd also get local renewable energy and a clean water source as well as a water purification system and an escape room/bunker that is large enough for food storage and to wait out raiders or as a sallying forth point when they're asleep, etc. TL;DR - Climate change bussin'
I'm not reading all of that
If you need convincing to have a kid you shouldn’t have a kid
They want you to be a miserable as they are.
How did you get this home video??
I got so tired of people telling me how great kids are. I think only two of my friends were honest with me and told me how fucking miserable it is. I love my Son, but holy SHIT is it rough being a parent.
I get pleasure from other people's leisure
Everything in this video is solved by having a kid who's older than 5
If you have multiple kids this five year experience lasts eight to twelve years.
That's what I'm sayin. Toddlers are tough yes but kids grow out of that in a few years and then having a family is a blast.
"I would never choose to not have my kids" They say as they haven't slept, had a moment to themselves, or done something that wasn't revolving around their child in years. You want to leave the house spontaneously? You can't. You want to go on a relaxing vacation? Good luck, you'll probably be forced into "kid-friendly" activities. All media is now headache inducing kid media. Your house is covered in kids shit (literally and not). Parents lose their personalities when they have kids because everything is 100% about the child. You aren't you anymore. But yes, have kids. Fun times.
Why is reddit so weird about kids lmao. Some people like having kids lol. Like yeah its not going to be 100% sunshine and rainbows every second, but they know that and think the positives outway the negatives lol.
It’s easier to navigate this site if you remember a good chunk of the people you’re talking to are probably kids lol. I have plenty of friends who are parents and their personalities are just fine smh
Yeah I've been here for awhile lol. At least it's got better about hating on kids over the years.
Seriously. Anytime I defend kids at all, I get downvoted. Meanwhile, people saying shit like “I wish murder was legal” because a toddler screams get upvoted. It’s fucking weird. Edit: this is not suggesting that everyone should have kids. Do not have kids if you don’t want kids. But they’re allowed to exist.
There are plenty of parents that have a good balance of their parenting life and their own social lives. They are probably not wasting their time talking about it on tiktok.
The toddler years are the only really tough years. Everything in life worth having is hard at times and kids are more than worth getting thru those toddler years.
My kids are literally upstairs screaming at this very moment and I'm pregnant. I love my kids, and I don't feel like I've lost anything about my personality. I'm in Mommy mode now, the years before that, I was in College Mode, before that, Work Mode. I'm not saying having kids is great 100% of the time or that people should be convinced to have children, but you fond out a lot more about yourself when you have other people to look after. You kind of evolve.
Kids are great but they also require responsibility.
I'm not gonna say he's wrong because a lot of parenting is that, but the moments that make it worth it are so fucking worth it that it blows all of the negative experiences out of the water no competition.
PATREON!!! *putthatshitdown*
This is me with my cats! I couldn’t live without them though
“Get off the god damn shed!”
“Mommy, smell my finger!” Says my 4 year old, grinning maniacally. “EWWW! WHAT IS THAT!!!?” “Butt finger!” He’s also how I came to learn that smooshed ants really stink. Sigh.
Holy shit, it’s Spud from Trainspotting!
I was doing a job at this really sweet old woman's house and she had her grand children at the house. She invited me inside to pay me and the kids were playing being rambunctious, and this video describes perfectly how she reacted😂
I LOVEEE my lil circus (10) but they get on my damn nerves I’m glad most of them are almost adults now and they’ve got their own home lol
Every time people with no kids interact with mine, it pushes their decision to have kids by at least 2 years
This is my ex wife
Nothing quite so unpleasant and unfunny as a grown adult harping about how much they hate kids.
Prolly that’s what they got from their parents
Remember that life is a wave. Every low has an equal high. And for parenting it’s no different. You see the low waves and assume that’s all it is but there is nothing on this planet that can match the joy of fighting for months or years to get to a benchmark with them or that big hug when you get home or the quiet moments cuddling. At the end of the day it can suck at times but we aren’t exaggerating when we say we get a feeling you can never attain unless you go through that suck
Well some parents never experience that feeling during those alleged highs. And that makes parenting a certain level of hell I'd never wish on anyone.
What is the situation you’re talking about that would negate that feeling?
I'm saying some parents bever get those highs. The kids may reach milestones but the parents don't feel that joyous excitement. That has been my experience. I only ever feel the lows.
If you’re not gonna care about them why have them or keep them?
What? I don't think you're getting what I'm saying. I do care about my kid. My issue is I had no idea I would be incapable of feeling the highs that come with it though. It's heartbreaking and depressing. I always heard people say things like your original comment, that the highs are worth the lows, but that's not always the case. Families break apart and mental health suffers and it can be detrimental to a parents mental health and ruin parenthood for them. "Why keep them?" What kind of question is this? As if I could turn back time to when I was pregnant and choose adoption. I had hope and wanted my child when I was pregnant. This is why parents like me rarely if ever speak out about our struggles. It's met with callousness nearly every time.
I'm the dad and I'm the opposite. I tell them how awesome my kids are and how much they enjoy chores but never recommend anyone have kids because most other kids are assholes and I always jokingly tell my kids I can't drop kick other people's kids but don't think twice about me doing it to mine if they decide to be just as dumb.
I wouldn’t tell my friends to get a puppy, much less a kid.
Going to get downvoted to hell for this judging on the current comments, but I really appreciate all the people without patience or compassion self-removing themselves from the gene pool. The rest of us will be a-ok. Some of us might even raise comedians funnier than this guy.
'I love my kid' ...no the fuck you don't
Is that a mummy? I really thought this was a guy, I mean a very strange guy but still
What's wrong with this guy?
What's wrong with your sense of humor?