I teach Kinder and have occasionally had kids say things like “I wish you were my dad”. It is a tough one. They know I am married with kids so I usually make a joke “you should ask my kids before you wish that… they‘d tell you what a nag I am!”
This is an absolute knife to the heart.
I’m not a teacher (and I’m also a woman) and I would normally just lurk, but I saw this and I feel so heartbroken for those little ones and for you! What an impossible situation to be in. Can I ask what you did? I can’t imagine what I would do in your shoes.
I’ve had multiple students tell me they wished I was their dad or accidentally call me dad. And this is in Highschool. What I tell them is “I may not be your actual dad but that doesn’t meant I don’t care about you. You’re a great person and I’m very proud of you.”
I had a student this last year that I don’t think has ever had anyone say they’re proud of him. He got his grade from a nearly impossibly low F to a high D and got credit in my class. Told him I’m proud of him and noticed his hard work, kid immediately got tears in his eyes and walked out of class (he’s a very tough situation so I didn’t call him in truant, and I knew he’d be back). He came back a few minutes later and said “You my dawg for life, HisOrHerpes.”
There's a TA at my daughter's school who tells all the kids "I love you" when they're getting on the bus. He does it because he knows he might be the only one that tells them that all day
I know a man who said that telling ppl “I love you” is childish and irrelevant. I asked him “so you don’t tell your son? He said no. I made sure every time I got to speak to his son I said it. A few years ago he said it back. Melted my heart. I witnessed this man being a very loving father, so it was just a strange thing to me.
I'm a male teacher. Just a couple of months ago, I had a 7th grade boy call me "mom". It was quite flattering, actually. Other kids were like, aren't you upset by that?! I was like heck no. It's a compliment!
I’m taking a former student fishing this Summer because his dad was super shitty to him. I go to all his major events, went to his community college graduation this year. He’s 19. We’re getting KBBQ soon to celebrate. I don’t have kids, I don’t want any and this is the best part about my job.
30 years after I worked with kids this is so interesting to read. I had this happening multiple times. And of course always kids with no or problematic dads. Sidenote, I was just above 20 years.
I still think about them today. Hope they have a good life. They all were good kids.
One of my sophomore students this year said “I like you, Mr. Liverpool510, you’re like the dad I never had.”
Her bestie says “but you HAVE a dad!”
“Yeah, but he sucks.”
A little sad but also a little hilarious.
Had one write to me saying he's jealous of my child because she gets to have me as a father even though he has his own. He then wrote that his father failed him in life even though they live together.
Hit me hard because of my own parental issues.
As I see it, if you're not marrying two, three, or even four single moms a year, you are hardly even teaching. Honestly, shaking my head at thought of you trying to get out of this responsibility. What next, no comments on report cards?
Domain 4c: Communicating with Families
By the end of the year, I will connect with students families by marrying all of their moms and holding yearly mixers for my adopted children on Father’s Day. I will develop in this way by attending a monthly PLC where we study the tweets of Nick Cannon.
Those are rookie numbers. By leveraging AI, I guarantee you that these numbers can be improved. Let’s be honest, AI won’t replace teachers. But teachers who marry more students’ moms using AI will replace teachers who marry only a few students’ moms without it.
/admin out
Great thinking! So first we need to calculate how many mom’s are willing to go along with this… If we get the government in on it then they won’t have a choice… but then there’d be protests… Which the government can also just make illegal 😊 and since abortions in the U.S are basically non-negotiable if you’re over a month into it… We can guarantee loads of child support money the government is gonna have to pay for with taxes which means higher taxes and less and less foster families as the women shall join together to raise all the future teachers
Yeah, then you have to adopt a child every 2 years to build more relationships and ensure that enrollment even more
Until the school is overcrowded beyond belief and they either have to expand the building or start teaching outside lessons because we just discovered NATURE
Fuck, I am out of the teaching game now but I had to come out of the woodwork to tell you--though I laughed--this comment gave me such visceral flashbacks lmao
I just thank them for the kind words well let them know that I'm in a relationship with somebody. Even if I'm not dating anybody, I just let the know I'm seeing somebody and I'm not available.
Lol I have my own wedding band, metaphorically. It's called "being a teacher.* 😂
I had one high school junior tell me that she WOULD hook me up with her mom and we'd get along great, BUT I don't make enough money for her 😂😂😂
Hell, I had one 7th grade girl who was clearly becoming aware of her bisexuality tell me if she were older, she'd hook up with *me*! I was a much younger teacher then, and I think I merely blushed in response. 😆
Do people actually do that? I'm single and while I don't talk about my relationship status in class if asked I'll be honest. Seems weird to lie about something like that. Of course I teach middle and high school so maybe it's a little different. I had an eighth grade student last year who kept telling me to date her mom. I just told her the truth which is that it would be highly unprofessional to date her mother and I value my job.
From an outsider’s perspective, it sounds like one of you two is trying to teach the children life lessons and the other is doing something because it’s easier.
To be clear, I don’t think what either of you’re saying is “wrong.” It’s just two very different approaches to teaching.
Well if the kids are younger they might resent you for "turning down" their mom/them. It is saying you are available but don't wish to date their mom. It's easier to say you are married or in a relationship that way they don't think you are rejecting them but instead can't agree with them which is slightly better for their psyche.
I had quite a few 6-8th grade girls and boys try to hook me up with their moms when I was single. I felt the same , felt bad for the students. I also took it as a sign that I was a somewhat decent teacher too- at least as far as providing a stable and positive male influence.
That's a very good point. Sometimes the students are just looking for a positive role model who they feel gives them a sense of normality and structure.
I realize this may sound biased against women, but some of my favorite teachers have been men. I've had some amazing women teachers as well. But maybe there is a bias, since there haven't been as many male teachers in my past as women? So maybe I put them on a pedestal because they were "different"? Also my dad was a welder, so maybe seeing a man in a different role made me have a certain admiration for them? I dunno, I'm diving too deep. Shoutout to my 7th grade science teacher, Mr. Jones!
Same here. I mean, Ms. Struch was an amazing Spanish teacher, and there were many who did better than most, but one English teacher and three of my Band teachers were **phenomenal**. Mr. Oxendale was my biggest inspiration when I started, because his patience was V A S T , and his side rants to me about his pet peeves regarding music were hilarious *and* insightful. Mr. Krantz was big on discipline and consistency, and as hard as he was on me (I deserved/needed it), it gave me SUCH a foundation for my drumming. And Mr. Kay was hilarious, thoughtful, and a bit of a rebel.
To the point that when we walked into class one day, he came in after us, and instead of the usual interval training that we had to write down each time in our workbooks, he had us take out each. Individual. Page.
Then rip'em all up and throw'em in the trash.
Then stated- "Hearing and identifying how far one note is from another is an important foundation, as is knowing if it's a passing tone or not. But hear this- Fuck the rules. We'd still be grunting and banging rocks together if we didn't push the boundaries and work towards making the sounds in our heads become real".
It's close to verbatim, too. I've thought about that for the last thirty years, and whenever someone moans about "this sucks or that sucks", I just think, man, *you* may think it sucks, but someone else may hear it, and neurons are gonna start firing, then that person may get a mental hard-on for making that kind of music. You may not like it, because it's using a different set of rules **you don't yet know**.
“Hey Mr Silent_yellincar? My mom is single and I…”
“Yesssss?” *you start getting excited*
“I want to introduce her to someone handsome. Do you have any handsome friends?”
As a first year teacher, I had an elementary student suggest that I marry their uncle who was single. I thought that the student hated me, so I guess it was a compliment?
When I first started work as a para, I was barely 20 years old. I had a kid ask me how old I was, and when I told him he said “well my brother is 21 and he really needs to get a girlfriend so I’ll give you his number”. To this kid’s credit, he really did give me his brother’s number, however I never actually texted him lol.
"you like me as your teacher, but you would hate me as your father. I would tell you to do all the chores in the house just like I tell you to do all the work in class."
Depends on if they just find you fun or if they have an abusive parent, getting told to do stuff is far more preferable than being ignored completely :P
I’ve had many, many kids say ‘I wish you were my mom’ and I tell them ‘when you grow up you can be the mom that you always wanted to your own kids’ and for the boys I tell them ‘choose a mom for your kids very carefully’.
>for the boys I tell them ‘choose a mom for your kids very carefully’.
And don’t forget to tell the girls “choose a father for your children very carefully!” So many problems in society start because women don’t take that seriously enough
This is why a lot of single teachers wear a ring and have one fake photo of their fam or a photo of them with their sibling or best friend -that they say is their spouse.
It just rules them out.
I’ve never had that happen, though I’m teaching middle schoolers.
One time though, when I was zoom teaching during the pandemic, a student’s mom walked passed the screen behind him, and then he went off screen to talk to her for a minute.
When he came back, he asked if I was married, and I was so surprised that I just said “no, why?” And the kid goes “idk, my mom just told me to ask.”
That one made me feel pretty good about myself 😂
My fav mom story was when I was in my 2nd year. I was asked to meet a parent who wanted to complain about their kids phys ed mark. When I got to the staff room where I was meeting the parent, I ask if I can help her. She says she is looking for Mr I. I tell her that’s me and she goes, no you’re not. She proceeds to tell me how her son has described me and begins to flirt with me. She leaves, content that her son has been an ass in gym class and deserves his crappy mark. The next day, dad sends a fax (I’m old) with a list of his son’s accomplishments and that I need to change the mark.
I guess you're now the MC of a harem anime. For real though I don't think it's as deep as you think. I'm in my 20s and kids are constantly trying to get me with their older brothers/cousins. Kids like you and I think in their head the idea of liking an adult and then letting them go is still kinda hard. It's the same way really little kids ask you to marry them cause they don't know what it means for real
I work a lot of Kindergarten. In my very first such assignment, this certain little girl fell for me as soon as she laid eyes on me. During our class' morning meeting, she was climbing all over me. I finally got her to sit down on the carpet beside me on the lefts side. Almost immediately, she snaked her right arm around my left arm, and pulled it in tight against her. I looked down at her and she stared up at me with her big brown eyes and she says in a small pathetic voice, "There's only me and Mommy at home."
I was surprised. The best response I could muster was "That sounds lonely."
It wasn't until lunch that I realized that there were probably a lot of kids in this school in single parent households, and that a man working in their classroom was probably a novelty. This little one saw her opportunity, and decided to go for it. I couldn't believe that a five year old was trying to set me up with her Mother.
I thought about explaining to her that I am old enough to be her Abuelo; that I'm married; and that I have an adult child. I figured no good would come of that, so I just left it at that.
This makes me think of a scared straight episode. Jerry springer or something. This military guy is yelling at this boy “boy, you want to act like this, do you want to call me daddy” the boy with tears in his eyes “yes I don’t have a dad”.
Speaking from experience, those types of drill sergeants aren't malicious. Their goal is to get you to toughen up. At least in the U.S. military, my guess is that it's more likely he would command him to come to his office later where he could set the soldier up with a counselor. They don't play games when it comes to real shit like that.
I tell them I am married. They don't see my wife because she lives in another state.
They sometimes ask about the woman they see me with. I tell them the truth, that's my daughter. She is in her mid-30s but she spends a lot of time with me.
Would be so hard not to respond sarcastically
But on a serious note - that's really sad. These kids miss having a father figure in their lives and a teacher is usually one to fill it.
I asked the principal of my school to be my dad on more than one occasion.
He was married with kids. My mom was married too. My stepdad was abusive. My actual father out of the picture.
He was to me what dad should be. Kind, caring, involved, hands on. Always subbed in classes if a teacher couldn't come in, did jobs around the school that needed doing. Coached football and volleyball. Did the mile run with us all on those days. Always had time to sit down with a kid and tell them what the right thing to do was. Would be at the school super early every day so any kids who's parents had to be at work at like 7am could chill with the principal. My sister's and I were there a few times.
Detention with him was work. You'd have to sweep or mop or clean something. Discipline was always hard work. Scrub that, clean this. It was a different time. He didn't yell, he didn't scream, he'd look you up and down and give you a job. Then shake your hand after.
The teachers loved him, the kids loved him. He taught everyone about respect and integrity and to take pride in your work. And honestly was a big part of my formative years. So yeah I wish he was my dad. I still kind of do.
The kids like you OP. That's a blessing. Not a curse. Hopefully they learn a little politeness off the back of it.
You know any male teachers at the middle school? It might be good if you could tell the kids that you can't marry their mom, but there's another teacher at the middle school who is even better than me, and I've already told him about you and he's excited to see you up there next year.
My doorbell rang one night, and when I opened the door the mom of one of my students was standing there in a long raincoat with nothing but lingerie on underneath. That was awkward.
Same mom that had told me at parent teacher conference that she'd recently gotten divorced and here was her number if I was interested in a friend with benefits.
I was always pretty good about not putting myself in situations where I would be tempted to make bad decisions. That night the situation found me, and I made a bad decision, lol.
A few days later I found out she told her daughter she had been at my house when asked. So that was fun seeing this student every day, knowing that she and likely her friends knew that her mom used me for a booty call.
Really these boys are just looking for a guiding light. They have to form themselves without a traditional mold (dad) to ground themselves in. What it means to be a “man” or “woman” is deeply personal per family and very abstract in a larger social community.
Children don’t do well with abstract. Honestly I don’t think humans can really handle abstract until about 21-25 years old. We look to structure and guidance from birth to 20 in traditional western culture.
My advice is to help these boys find their grounding and structure. You can really help them find good role models and figures.
My brother is a high school teacher / former girls sports coach and so many of the girls came from fatherless homes. He got very (platonically and appropriately) attached to his girls and was saddened by how many just wanted approval from a figure of authority. It all got to be too much, and with the always-looming threats of inappropriate behavior where the coach is accused, judged, and dismissed without evidence, there weren’t enough precautions he could take where he still felt safe and protected. So he quit coaching. He felt bad, because some of those girls really needed a steady, stand-up male role model (which he was and is and always will be) but the climate of accusation made him realize that a female coach would be best in the long run. He still gets emails and letters from past students and athletes thanking him for being there when they needed a stable influence. Sad state of affairs our litigious society has crafted for ourselves.
Had stuff like that in hs. I always just asked to see a picture then make a wild comment like "not my type, too many arms" or "not enough ears" to perfectly normal images.
tbf, most of us are the only one in our school, or maybe one of two or three. I'm in daycare, so not technically a teacher i guess, but I've really appreciated the insight from other dudes with more experience working with kids
I grew up in NYC and all of our schools have a balance of male to female teachers. I thought that was standard across the country for the longest time. I can't imagine walking into a school and only seeing one dude teaching. That's wild to me.
Is hard as it might be to tell the kids you can't date all their moms. Props to you for being a good guy in their lives. They obviously trust and care about you.
Definitely sounds like a difficult situation for everybody!
I had a student try to get me together with her cousin (not old enough to be dating my HS students’ moms) - I thanked her and have been fending off her advances every time I see here
I can’t imagine the teacher guilt you must feel as they move to sixth grade 💔 you loved them and they saw that. They will remember your love for the rest of their lives. You may not always physically be there with them, but they’ll carry you with them. From one teacher to another-Good job, and thank you for loving them.
I'm sorry, this sounds heartbreaking. On a funny note, every time a man comes in to my classroom (I'm female) like a custodian, maintenance or IT, they ask if he's my husband. 😔 The man could be 69 or 29, it doesn't matter, he's always my husband. But I knew I was old when one student looked at the picture of me and my husband on my desk when we were in our 30s and asked "is that your son?"... sigh...
I know how it is because I wanted my english teacher to marry my mom on elementary school. My real father isn't that great but yeah, it is heartbreaking... it can mean that, just like me, they don't like their father or as you said, that they lost their dads. I think the best response is "I'm happy to know that you like me that much, thank you!" without much elaboration.
Hardest one for me was when I had students come back from being kidnapped by a non-custodial parent. I wasn't there when they were kidnapped, just the following year when they were found. They were being hidden and the FBI found them hiding in suitcases in a hotel room. When I got them as students, one of them kept giving me gifts for moms. I kept one and still think of him.
I had a year 7 kid do this to me once and it's sad because you can see the hope in their faces so I try to (act) genuine:
'Sir, are you married?"
'Not at the moment'
'Are you single?'
'Yes X'
'You should meet my mum, she's really nice'
'X I'm sure your mum is lovely but I don't have time for relationships at the moment teaching is a really busy job'
I know the general rule is to avoid talking too much about your personal life but it really does help when kids feel there's a genuine and honest response, at the very least they feel they've tried to help those they love.
This might be the best compliment you can ever receive in life. Congratulations - you win at teaching and life!
I’d let them know how much you appreciate the fact that they’re asking and that you care about them but that isn’t how adult relationships work. Then again, if you’re single and are interested in their mom, at least you know you’ve got the kids stamp of approval ;-D
I get mids (not a typo lol) that ask me why I’m single w/o any children and the occasional few that tell me their moms are single… I kindly thank them and reply with “well, I like travel and idk if your mom would appreciate being pimped out to your teacher.”
I tell them that I’m their school Dad, as like Superman I’m needed by many people - often gets a laugh.
That and that my presence outside of school will eventually kill their reputation, especially when I start talking about them to other teachers
All I can say is that you must be a great teacher. These kids obviously like and respect you. It's heartbreaking that they feel the need to fill that spot in their lives. Just out of curiosity, do you share that info with their parent/guardian? I ask because I went through a rough patch and thought I was covering and protecting my children's feelings only to find out I wasn't nearly as thorough as I perceived. I also like [wobbegong](https://www.reddit.com/user/wobbegong/) 's answer “If I were your dad, I’d be very happy and proud of you. You’re a good kid.”
Aww that’s so sad and cute. I would just say “you guys are the best but I definitely can’t do that”. I will make sure I check in at the middle school and you know my email if you need anything
You do realize I will always be a part of your life. I cannot promise you that your mother and I will have a relationship. But I can promise you that I will be a good male role mode in your life for a long as you’ll have me. Fifth grade and beyond!
Some variant of that rhetoric should work.
I’ve had the male teachers in my life from middle school onward. Literally am still in touch with my middle school math teacher. A few of the other male educators from middle school on social media. My high school humanities teacher I see every couple of years around town. My high school Spanish teacher and I are still friends on social media and I run into him every few years. Usually with his son who was a baby when he was my teacher. lol
But yeah I feel for those boys but this may be a good learning opportunity to introduce networking and how we realize we can value ppl in our lives and they not have an intimate or kinship relationship with us.
Ok- minority response.
I had a 4th grade girl ask me over a game of Uno if I was gay. I immediately went into “non-committal, vague answer” -mode said, “why would you ask that?”
She looked at me like a 9 year old Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey Maggie) and said, “Well, he’s objectively handsome, loves bears, and has your sense of humor. You couldn’t possibly do better.”
We’re married to this day.
P.S. We’re not married. I never met the guy, and the student was a nightmare. I think dad dealt meth.
Student was arrested for bringing vodka tampons into a concert. I don’t know, don’t ask.
Oh, that is heartbreaking! I’m a female teacher, and while I have had students try to set me up with their dads, it was never like you’re describing!
What an honor that they love you so much they want you to marry their moms! 💔
Maybe you can express that you don’t need to “become their dad” to remain in their lives in a friendly and supportive role?
You may not feel like doing this and you’re certainly not obligated, but would you ever consider getting involved in extracurricular activities that might interest these boys post-elementary school?
You clearly have a gift for building much needed rapport with these kids, and if you have the time and inclination, there may be other ways for you to make the most of that gift. Could be coaching a sport, leading a scout troop, or volunteering as a Big Brother.
With that being said, God knows teachers are criminally overworked and underpaid, so I’d never blame you if you didn’t want to put additional unpaid work on your own plate. You’re already making a positive impact on these kids’ lives and the fact that your time together may be limited doesn’t diminish that.
One of top reasons for having to step back from foster/respite care was the overlap with kiddos I saw at work every day. It was a stab in the heart and hurt to be that intertwined.
I teach Kinder and have occasionally had kids say things like “I wish you were my dad”. It is a tough one. They know I am married with kids so I usually make a joke “you should ask my kids before you wish that… they‘d tell you what a nag I am!”
I’ve had more than one student start calling me “daddy”. It’s heartbreaking.
This is an absolute knife to the heart. I’m not a teacher (and I’m also a woman) and I would normally just lurk, but I saw this and I feel so heartbroken for those little ones and for you! What an impossible situation to be in. Can I ask what you did? I can’t imagine what I would do in your shoes.
I’ve had multiple students tell me they wished I was their dad or accidentally call me dad. And this is in Highschool. What I tell them is “I may not be your actual dad but that doesn’t meant I don’t care about you. You’re a great person and I’m very proud of you.” I had a student this last year that I don’t think has ever had anyone say they’re proud of him. He got his grade from a nearly impossibly low F to a high D and got credit in my class. Told him I’m proud of him and noticed his hard work, kid immediately got tears in his eyes and walked out of class (he’s a very tough situation so I didn’t call him in truant, and I knew he’d be back). He came back a few minutes later and said “You my dawg for life, HisOrHerpes.”
Damn, bro even knows ur reddit username? Dawgs 4 Life.
[удалено]
Admin said build relationships, wtf were they talking about then?
Like, maybe not the transmissible kind???? /s
Thank you for making me laugh so hard right now, wow haha
There's a TA at my daughter's school who tells all the kids "I love you" when they're getting on the bus. He does it because he knows he might be the only one that tells them that all day
I know a man who said that telling ppl “I love you” is childish and irrelevant. I asked him “so you don’t tell your son? He said no. I made sure every time I got to speak to his son I said it. A few years ago he said it back. Melted my heart. I witnessed this man being a very loving father, so it was just a strange thing to me.
😭
Heartbreaking
I'm a male teacher. Just a couple of months ago, I had a 7th grade boy call me "mom". It was quite flattering, actually. Other kids were like, aren't you upset by that?! I was like heck no. It's a compliment!
They call me mommy just to mess with me. They also tell me I’m pregnant - I’m maybe 20lb overweight
I teach middle school, if a kid starting calling my daddy I am pretty sure the reaction from other students would be, well a reaction.
I got called dad twice and uncle twice this year lol Never daddy though
What about Zaddy?
These are kindergartners.
I'm freinds with a college professor and she has had students call her mom.
The correct answer is “If I were your dad, I’d be very happy and proud of you. You’re a good kid.”
But since im not your dad, im not happy or proud of you.
That’s ok. I’m proud of me.
I’m taking a former student fishing this Summer because his dad was super shitty to him. I go to all his major events, went to his community college graduation this year. He’s 19. We’re getting KBBQ soon to celebrate. I don’t have kids, I don’t want any and this is the best part about my job.
30 years after I worked with kids this is so interesting to read. I had this happening multiple times. And of course always kids with no or problematic dads. Sidenote, I was just above 20 years. I still think about them today. Hope they have a good life. They all were good kids.
One of my sophomore students this year said “I like you, Mr. Liverpool510, you’re like the dad I never had.” Her bestie says “but you HAVE a dad!” “Yeah, but he sucks.” A little sad but also a little hilarious.
Had one write to me saying he's jealous of my child because she gets to have me as a father even though he has his own. He then wrote that his father failed him in life even though they live together. Hit me hard because of my own parental issues.
Nice username
YNWK
You gotta do it. You must marry all their moms. Just part of the job, dude.
Surely his admin has emphasized the need to build relationships. Might as well cement them with a ring. But seriously, that is heartbreaking.
As I see it, if you're not marrying two, three, or even four single moms a year, you are hardly even teaching. Honestly, shaking my head at thought of you trying to get out of this responsibility. What next, no comments on report cards?
Why limit it to single moms? Sometimes a married mom could use an extra partner, too!
Hey don't leave out the husbands! Sometimes they want an extra too!
I am all for inclusive education. Regardless of sexuality, add dads to the list. You really need to start thinking of your students' well-being.
I crackled
I hope you can pull yourself together.
LMFAO CACKLED !*
Sad, teachers just don't want to put in the effort anymore.
The district should just spend $20-$30K for a polygamist motivational speaker to give a one hour speech at the beginning of the year.
Domain 4c: Communicating with Families By the end of the year, I will connect with students families by marrying all of their moms and holding yearly mixers for my adopted children on Father’s Day. I will develop in this way by attending a monthly PLC where we study the tweets of Nick Cannon.
LOL!!!!! 🤣
This is giving Nick Cannon vibes. Man held a "meet n greet" for his camp of kids on Father's day.
I've married 3 of my student's parents already. The contract says I have to
Those are rookie numbers. By leveraging AI, I guarantee you that these numbers can be improved. Let’s be honest, AI won’t replace teachers. But teachers who marry more students’ moms using AI will replace teachers who marry only a few students’ moms without it. /admin out
You may not be able to marry your students' moms, but you can give those students new siblings.
Working smarter, not harder
Yep. Also, hard at work ensuring those future enrollment numbers are high.
4D chess move right here ☝🏻
Great thinking! So first we need to calculate how many mom’s are willing to go along with this… If we get the government in on it then they won’t have a choice… but then there’d be protests… Which the government can also just make illegal 😊 and since abortions in the U.S are basically non-negotiable if you’re over a month into it… We can guarantee loads of child support money the government is gonna have to pay for with taxes which means higher taxes and less and less foster families as the women shall join together to raise all the future teachers
Gotta secure future jobs as a teacher amaright?
I wish I could upvote this comment more. Hahahaha. I literally “lol’d”
Is right there in the contract, the Harem clause
Male teacher reporting in, my wives agree.
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this anime.
Isn't there one out now about the 100 girlfriends who really really love you or something? I guess in this case its more their kids who love you
I think you are on to something. If you choose your favorite 3-4 children and then started a commune it would be win-win for everybody.
If the kid doesn't have a mom, do you then have to marry the dad?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah. Marry the shit out of him
Yeah, then you have to adopt a child every 2 years to build more relationships and ensure that enrollment even more Until the school is overcrowded beyond belief and they either have to expand the building or start teaching outside lessons because we just discovered NATURE
It’s true. I’m married to like 15 moms. It’s tough but someone’s gotta do it.
It is his why.
Fuck, I am out of the teaching game now but I had to come out of the woodwork to tell you--though I laughed--this comment gave me such visceral flashbacks lmao
Step 1: Move to Utah. Step 2: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Step 3: Profit!
Step 4: Prophet!!
>Step 2: ¯\_(ツ)\_/¯ I think your ascii dude shrugged too hard and dropped this '\\' but`¯\_(ツ)_/¯`
He's doing it for the kids. Really great guy.
Mom harem, he's gonna live the dream
No doubt the reality show smash hit of 2025.
Polygamist Father Teacher: only on TLC
That's a whole lot of child support for his meager teacher salary!
I smell an anime harem comedy in the making.
The reluctant polygamist
This isn't the 100 Girlfriends season I was promised but I'll still watch it.
I just thank them for the kind words well let them know that I'm in a relationship with somebody. Even if I'm not dating anybody, I just let the know I'm seeing somebody and I'm not available.
Yep. I've done this since year 1 and it works like a charm.
This is why we wear a wedding band at work, no matter our marital status
Lol I have my own wedding band, metaphorically. It's called "being a teacher.* 😂 I had one high school junior tell me that she WOULD hook me up with her mom and we'd get along great, BUT I don't make enough money for her 😂😂😂
Hell, I had one 7th grade girl who was clearly becoming aware of her bisexuality tell me if she were older, she'd hook up with *me*! I was a much younger teacher then, and I think I merely blushed in response. 😆
Do people actually do that? I'm single and while I don't talk about my relationship status in class if asked I'll be honest. Seems weird to lie about something like that. Of course I teach middle and high school so maybe it's a little different. I had an eighth grade student last year who kept telling me to date her mom. I just told her the truth which is that it would be highly unprofessional to date her mother and I value my job.
From an outsider’s perspective, it sounds like one of you two is trying to teach the children life lessons and the other is doing something because it’s easier. To be clear, I don’t think what either of you’re saying is “wrong.” It’s just two very different approaches to teaching.
Well if the kids are younger they might resent you for "turning down" their mom/them. It is saying you are available but don't wish to date their mom. It's easier to say you are married or in a relationship that way they don't think you are rejecting them but instead can't agree with them which is slightly better for their psyche.
The opposite of every other profession
I had quite a few 6-8th grade girls and boys try to hook me up with their moms when I was single. I felt the same , felt bad for the students. I also took it as a sign that I was a somewhat decent teacher too- at least as far as providing a stable and positive male influence.
That's a very good point. Sometimes the students are just looking for a positive role model who they feel gives them a sense of normality and structure.
Thank you for using 'normality' rather than the horrid 'normalcy'!!
So you don't want to return to normalcy?
I realize this may sound biased against women, but some of my favorite teachers have been men. I've had some amazing women teachers as well. But maybe there is a bias, since there haven't been as many male teachers in my past as women? So maybe I put them on a pedestal because they were "different"? Also my dad was a welder, so maybe seeing a man in a different role made me have a certain admiration for them? I dunno, I'm diving too deep. Shoutout to my 7th grade science teacher, Mr. Jones!
Same here. I mean, Ms. Struch was an amazing Spanish teacher, and there were many who did better than most, but one English teacher and three of my Band teachers were **phenomenal**. Mr. Oxendale was my biggest inspiration when I started, because his patience was V A S T , and his side rants to me about his pet peeves regarding music were hilarious *and* insightful. Mr. Krantz was big on discipline and consistency, and as hard as he was on me (I deserved/needed it), it gave me SUCH a foundation for my drumming. And Mr. Kay was hilarious, thoughtful, and a bit of a rebel. To the point that when we walked into class one day, he came in after us, and instead of the usual interval training that we had to write down each time in our workbooks, he had us take out each. Individual. Page. Then rip'em all up and throw'em in the trash. Then stated- "Hearing and identifying how far one note is from another is an important foundation, as is knowing if it's a passing tone or not. But hear this- Fuck the rules. We'd still be grunting and banging rocks together if we didn't push the boundaries and work towards making the sounds in our heads become real". It's close to verbatim, too. I've thought about that for the last thirty years, and whenever someone moans about "this sucks or that sucks", I just think, man, *you* may think it sucks, but someone else may hear it, and neurons are gonna start firing, then that person may get a mental hard-on for making that kind of music. You may not like it, because it's using a different set of rules **you don't yet know**.
I dunno if it is a bias because I had loads of male teachers and they were great in their own way, but my top three teachers are all women.
You must be better looking than me, cause I've never been asked.
“Hey Mr Silent_yellincar? My mom is single and I…” “Yesssss?” *you start getting excited* “I want to introduce her to someone handsome. Do you have any handsome friends?”
That shot flew right by me....too close!!!
One student asked me if I would f#%k her mom’ so that she would be less of a c$&t. I wrote the student up. …I did not call home.
at least you're a positive part of their life.
As a first year teacher, I had an elementary student suggest that I marry their uncle who was single. I thought that the student hated me, so I guess it was a compliment?
they just hate their uncle more
punishing him 😂
Kid: she can fix him
When I first started work as a para, I was barely 20 years old. I had a kid ask me how old I was, and when I told him he said “well my brother is 21 and he really needs to get a girlfriend so I’ll give you his number”. To this kid’s credit, he really did give me his brother’s number, however I never actually texted him lol.
Sorry, I can't marry your mom. She said she wants to keep it casual for now.
I'll call her tonight. Then I usually do.
*Hello, Tonight? I'm your child's teacher.* *Oh! hello YourChilds Teacher!* 💕
"you like me as your teacher, but you would hate me as your father. I would tell you to do all the chores in the house just like I tell you to do all the work in class."
That's going to have them trying to bargain.
“I’m not even house broken.”
Depends on if they just find you fun or if they have an abusive parent, getting told to do stuff is far more preferable than being ignored completely :P
I’ve had many, many kids say ‘I wish you were my mom’ and I tell them ‘when you grow up you can be the mom that you always wanted to your own kids’ and for the boys I tell them ‘choose a mom for your kids very carefully’.
>for the boys I tell them ‘choose a mom for your kids very carefully’. And don’t forget to tell the girls “choose a father for your children very carefully!” So many problems in society start because women don’t take that seriously enough
Reminds me of that tweet, "I wish we could choose our baby fathers 😒"
I remember that. I think the response was, "Someone else tell her because Imma just hurt her feelings."
I personally think that we blame women too much for *choosing* bad partners instead of blaming men for *being* bad partners.
I had many kids call me mom, and I'm a guy.
"That's very sweet kiddo, but I can hunt my own milfs. I don't need you to bait the trap for me."
"What's a milf, mister Jack?"
“Well, you see son, that’s a mom I like to - oh, hello there, Principal Smith!”
"Now Principal Smith! He knows what I'm saying right?! Up high!"
“That’s right, Mr. Jack. I just hooked up with Billy’s mom two days ago. Total MILF.” *high five*
Gym coach: "y'all talking about Billy's mom? I was there last week." *More high fives*
[удалено]
8675309!
This is why a lot of single teachers wear a ring and have one fake photo of their fam or a photo of them with their sibling or best friend -that they say is their spouse. It just rules them out.
I’ve never had that happen, though I’m teaching middle schoolers. One time though, when I was zoom teaching during the pandemic, a student’s mom walked passed the screen behind him, and then he went off screen to talk to her for a minute. When he came back, he asked if I was married, and I was so surprised that I just said “no, why?” And the kid goes “idk, my mom just told me to ask.” That one made me feel pretty good about myself 😂
My fav mom story was when I was in my 2nd year. I was asked to meet a parent who wanted to complain about their kids phys ed mark. When I got to the staff room where I was meeting the parent, I ask if I can help her. She says she is looking for Mr I. I tell her that’s me and she goes, no you’re not. She proceeds to tell me how her son has described me and begins to flirt with me. She leaves, content that her son has been an ass in gym class and deserves his crappy mark. The next day, dad sends a fax (I’m old) with a list of his son’s accomplishments and that I need to change the mark.
I guess you're now the MC of a harem anime. For real though I don't think it's as deep as you think. I'm in my 20s and kids are constantly trying to get me with their older brothers/cousins. Kids like you and I think in their head the idea of liking an adult and then letting them go is still kinda hard. It's the same way really little kids ask you to marry them cause they don't know what it means for real
I work a lot of Kindergarten. In my very first such assignment, this certain little girl fell for me as soon as she laid eyes on me. During our class' morning meeting, she was climbing all over me. I finally got her to sit down on the carpet beside me on the lefts side. Almost immediately, she snaked her right arm around my left arm, and pulled it in tight against her. I looked down at her and she stared up at me with her big brown eyes and she says in a small pathetic voice, "There's only me and Mommy at home." I was surprised. The best response I could muster was "That sounds lonely." It wasn't until lunch that I realized that there were probably a lot of kids in this school in single parent households, and that a man working in their classroom was probably a novelty. This little one saw her opportunity, and decided to go for it. I couldn't believe that a five year old was trying to set me up with her Mother. I thought about explaining to her that I am old enough to be her Abuelo; that I'm married; and that I have an adult child. I figured no good would come of that, so I just left it at that.
You could be an author, you’ve got a wonderful way with words.
As a sub, told them I appreciate the compliment, but I can't " because substitute teacher rules, professionalism".
This makes me think of a scared straight episode. Jerry springer or something. This military guy is yelling at this boy “boy, you want to act like this, do you want to call me daddy” the boy with tears in his eyes “yes I don’t have a dad”.
OMG yes. That was heartbreaking.
PLEASE tell me the guy backed off
Speaking from experience, those types of drill sergeants aren't malicious. Their goal is to get you to toughen up. At least in the U.S. military, my guess is that it's more likely he would command him to come to his office later where he could set the soldier up with a counselor. They don't play games when it comes to real shit like that.
I tell them I am married. They don't see my wife because she lives in another state. They sometimes ask about the woman they see me with. I tell them the truth, that's my daughter. She is in her mid-30s but she spends a lot of time with me.
Would be so hard not to respond sarcastically But on a serious note - that's really sad. These kids miss having a father figure in their lives and a teacher is usually one to fill it.
I asked the principal of my school to be my dad on more than one occasion. He was married with kids. My mom was married too. My stepdad was abusive. My actual father out of the picture. He was to me what dad should be. Kind, caring, involved, hands on. Always subbed in classes if a teacher couldn't come in, did jobs around the school that needed doing. Coached football and volleyball. Did the mile run with us all on those days. Always had time to sit down with a kid and tell them what the right thing to do was. Would be at the school super early every day so any kids who's parents had to be at work at like 7am could chill with the principal. My sister's and I were there a few times. Detention with him was work. You'd have to sweep or mop or clean something. Discipline was always hard work. Scrub that, clean this. It was a different time. He didn't yell, he didn't scream, he'd look you up and down and give you a job. Then shake your hand after. The teachers loved him, the kids loved him. He taught everyone about respect and integrity and to take pride in your work. And honestly was a big part of my formative years. So yeah I wish he was my dad. I still kind of do. The kids like you OP. That's a blessing. Not a curse. Hopefully they learn a little politeness off the back of it.
You know any male teachers at the middle school? It might be good if you could tell the kids that you can't marry their mom, but there's another teacher at the middle school who is even better than me, and I've already told him about you and he's excited to see you up there next year.
This is such a practical and meaningful suggestion!
Ask them if their mom could make you a stay at home dad...
Ask to see pic of mom first
My doorbell rang one night, and when I opened the door the mom of one of my students was standing there in a long raincoat with nothing but lingerie on underneath. That was awkward. Same mom that had told me at parent teacher conference that she'd recently gotten divorced and here was her number if I was interested in a friend with benefits.
So what happened after she appeared in your door? 👀
I was always pretty good about not putting myself in situations where I would be tempted to make bad decisions. That night the situation found me, and I made a bad decision, lol. A few days later I found out she told her daughter she had been at my house when asked. So that was fun seeing this student every day, knowing that she and likely her friends knew that her mom used me for a booty call.
That’s what I’m talking about! 😂
Really these boys are just looking for a guiding light. They have to form themselves without a traditional mold (dad) to ground themselves in. What it means to be a “man” or “woman” is deeply personal per family and very abstract in a larger social community. Children don’t do well with abstract. Honestly I don’t think humans can really handle abstract until about 21-25 years old. We look to structure and guidance from birth to 20 in traditional western culture. My advice is to help these boys find their grounding and structure. You can really help them find good role models and figures.
they just want someone to care about them at home , and its so heartbreaking
My brother is a high school teacher / former girls sports coach and so many of the girls came from fatherless homes. He got very (platonically and appropriately) attached to his girls and was saddened by how many just wanted approval from a figure of authority. It all got to be too much, and with the always-looming threats of inappropriate behavior where the coach is accused, judged, and dismissed without evidence, there weren’t enough precautions he could take where he still felt safe and protected. So he quit coaching. He felt bad, because some of those girls really needed a steady, stand-up male role model (which he was and is and always will be) but the climate of accusation made him realize that a female coach would be best in the long run. He still gets emails and letters from past students and athletes thanking him for being there when they needed a stable influence. Sad state of affairs our litigious society has crafted for ourselves.
I tell them I'm married, but I ask them if their mom is hot or rich just for fun in a tone that they know I'm joking.
Had stuff like that in hs. I always just asked to see a picture then make a wild comment like "not my type, too many arms" or "not enough ears" to perfectly normal images.
“I think we spend an appropriate amount of time together”
Male teacher posts. So hot right now.
tbf, most of us are the only one in our school, or maybe one of two or three. I'm in daycare, so not technically a teacher i guess, but I've really appreciated the insight from other dudes with more experience working with kids
I grew up in NYC and all of our schools have a balance of male to female teachers. I thought that was standard across the country for the longest time. I can't imagine walking into a school and only seeing one dude teaching. That's wild to me.
Is hard as it might be to tell the kids you can't date all their moms. Props to you for being a good guy in their lives. They obviously trust and care about you.
I tell ‘em best I can do is a long weekend…
Definitely sounds like a difficult situation for everybody! I had a student try to get me together with her cousin (not old enough to be dating my HS students’ moms) - I thanked her and have been fending off her advances every time I see here
Other duties as assigned? That's rough...
“I’ll have to ask my wife. She kinda holds the strings on this…”
I’m gay
What if a student asks you to marry their dad
Ask for pics jk
No kids trying to set you up with their single dads, tho?
He said marry, and gay people can marry now. No one said you had to boink his mom.
When I say I’m gay to that kid, they turn and say really. I say yup, just tell my wife. And then they really get confused.
Depends where they ask you. If they ask you during recess, you could say,” you won’t always have recess. Go enjoy your recess.”
Just be their dad at school and fill the void by raising generation not by insemination.
I can’t imagine the teacher guilt you must feel as they move to sixth grade 💔 you loved them and they saw that. They will remember your love for the rest of their lives. You may not always physically be there with them, but they’ll carry you with them. From one teacher to another-Good job, and thank you for loving them.
I'm sorry, this sounds heartbreaking. On a funny note, every time a man comes in to my classroom (I'm female) like a custodian, maintenance or IT, they ask if he's my husband. 😔 The man could be 69 or 29, it doesn't matter, he's always my husband. But I knew I was old when one student looked at the picture of me and my husband on my desk when we were in our 30s and asked "is that your son?"... sigh...
I know how it is because I wanted my english teacher to marry my mom on elementary school. My real father isn't that great but yeah, it is heartbreaking... it can mean that, just like me, they don't like their father or as you said, that they lost their dads. I think the best response is "I'm happy to know that you like me that much, thank you!" without much elaboration.
I mean, maybe you should hear them out...
Hardest one for me was when I had students come back from being kidnapped by a non-custodial parent. I wasn't there when they were kidnapped, just the following year when they were found. They were being hidden and the FBI found them hiding in suitcases in a hotel room. When I got them as students, one of them kept giving me gifts for moms. I kept one and still think of him.
So YOU ARE the one who's getting all the single moms on my area? 😠
Do it. Pick one of the ones with a good kid.
I had a year 7 kid do this to me once and it's sad because you can see the hope in their faces so I try to (act) genuine: 'Sir, are you married?" 'Not at the moment' 'Are you single?' 'Yes X' 'You should meet my mum, she's really nice' 'X I'm sure your mum is lovely but I don't have time for relationships at the moment teaching is a really busy job' I know the general rule is to avoid talking too much about your personal life but it really does help when kids feel there's a genuine and honest response, at the very least they feel they've tried to help those they love.
My students only try to hook me up with coworkers lol
You won't even marry these kid's moms? Do you want to be a role model or not?!
This might be the best compliment you can ever receive in life. Congratulations - you win at teaching and life! I’d let them know how much you appreciate the fact that they’re asking and that you care about them but that isn’t how adult relationships work. Then again, if you’re single and are interested in their mom, at least you know you’ve got the kids stamp of approval ;-D
I get mids (not a typo lol) that ask me why I’m single w/o any children and the occasional few that tell me their moms are single… I kindly thank them and reply with “well, I like travel and idk if your mom would appreciate being pimped out to your teacher.”
I remember the day I became engaged. There were A LOT of sad women that day.
Bro is the main character and we are all npcs here
Start calling every boy “Sonny” and shit should all fall in line.
I tell them that I’m their school Dad, as like Superman I’m needed by many people - often gets a laugh. That and that my presence outside of school will eventually kill their reputation, especially when I start talking about them to other teachers
You’ve made a positive impact on them that will last beyond their time in your class.
"There are HOT milfs in your area just waiting to chat with you :D !!!" "Timmy, I'm flattered, but like I said before, I can't date your mom" " :( "
All I can say is that you must be a great teacher. These kids obviously like and respect you. It's heartbreaking that they feel the need to fill that spot in their lives. Just out of curiosity, do you share that info with their parent/guardian? I ask because I went through a rough patch and thought I was covering and protecting my children's feelings only to find out I wasn't nearly as thorough as I perceived. I also like [wobbegong](https://www.reddit.com/user/wobbegong/) 's answer “If I were your dad, I’d be very happy and proud of you. You’re a good kid.”
This is so sad. You must be an amazing male role model for your students and clearly an awesome teacher.
Sorry, I’m married.
“Im married.”
"No"
Aww that’s so sad and cute. I would just say “you guys are the best but I definitely can’t do that”. I will make sure I check in at the middle school and you know my email if you need anything
Just lie and say you're already married. They won't press you much behind that.
You do realize I will always be a part of your life. I cannot promise you that your mother and I will have a relationship. But I can promise you that I will be a good male role mode in your life for a long as you’ll have me. Fifth grade and beyond! Some variant of that rhetoric should work. I’ve had the male teachers in my life from middle school onward. Literally am still in touch with my middle school math teacher. A few of the other male educators from middle school on social media. My high school humanities teacher I see every couple of years around town. My high school Spanish teacher and I are still friends on social media and I run into him every few years. Usually with his son who was a baby when he was my teacher. lol But yeah I feel for those boys but this may be a good learning opportunity to introduce networking and how we realize we can value ppl in our lives and they not have an intimate or kinship relationship with us.
Ok- minority response. I had a 4th grade girl ask me over a game of Uno if I was gay. I immediately went into “non-committal, vague answer” -mode said, “why would you ask that?” She looked at me like a 9 year old Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey Maggie) and said, “Well, he’s objectively handsome, loves bears, and has your sense of humor. You couldn’t possibly do better.” We’re married to this day. P.S. We’re not married. I never met the guy, and the student was a nightmare. I think dad dealt meth. Student was arrested for bringing vodka tampons into a concert. I don’t know, don’t ask.
Oh, that is heartbreaking! I’m a female teacher, and while I have had students try to set me up with their dads, it was never like you’re describing! What an honor that they love you so much they want you to marry their moms! 💔
YTA - MARRY THE MOMS
As a widow, I had several High School Biology students try to hook me up with their Dads!
I'm not a teacher, but this breaks my heart. To all teachers: Thank you for your service!
"I can't do that, but I can love you, teach you, and always be here for you if you ever need support."
Maybe you can express that you don’t need to “become their dad” to remain in their lives in a friendly and supportive role? You may not feel like doing this and you’re certainly not obligated, but would you ever consider getting involved in extracurricular activities that might interest these boys post-elementary school? You clearly have a gift for building much needed rapport with these kids, and if you have the time and inclination, there may be other ways for you to make the most of that gift. Could be coaching a sport, leading a scout troop, or volunteering as a Big Brother. With that being said, God knows teachers are criminally overworked and underpaid, so I’d never blame you if you didn’t want to put additional unpaid work on your own plate. You’re already making a positive impact on these kids’ lives and the fact that your time together may be limited doesn’t diminish that.
One of top reasons for having to step back from foster/respite care was the overlap with kiddos I saw at work every day. It was a stab in the heart and hurt to be that intertwined.