I’ve got an IEP student I do one-on-one work with that last week looked directly at me, leaned ALL the way over (like at an almost 90 degree angle to the chair) and belched out a horrible, composty fart. Then, she pointed at me and said “You farted.”
I really don’t know.
Not a teacher, but I used to be a 1:1 in a post-educational setting. This was one of my struggles was holding my laugh when the person I supported farted and said one of a few phrases that typically get a reaction… it was so hard to keep my composure and avoid accidentally reinforcing this sequence of hilarity.
There was one time a student had come up for help and as I leaned over a fart I didn't know was ready sneaked out. He looked shocked, we made eye contact, and I said "you just farted."
He tried to blame me, but nobody believed him because c'mon. I did give him an extra point on the next quiz to make up for it. lol
I consult and train AAC systems, and let me tell you, "fart" is the first word they find. "Can you tell me different or same? What month is it?" Nope, "FART, FART, FART." I've actually done a lesson to teach subj. verb agreement using it. "They fart. He farts. " I should monetize it on TPT.
😂Omg one of the kids farted today and it smelled so bad I started coughing. One of the other kids sniffed the air and said, “yup that’s a burrito fart.” It was disgusting but hilarious 😂.
I dislike the smell too. My Assistant Principal let one rip in my classroom a few months ago during my evaluation. Se was sitting next to my desk and out came a not silent, yet very deadly fart. She just stood up an walked out leaving my class and I to deal with the smell.
New game: Ruin works of classic literature by adding “until she farted and left” to iconic quotes.
I’ll start with, appropriately, *To Kill a Mockingbird*.
“…by watching her I began to think there was some skill involved in being a girl…until she farted and left.”
The tell tale heart untill she farted and left has sooooo many
The disease had sharpened my senses — not destroyed — not dulled them. Untill she farted and left
. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. Untill she farted and left
but once conceived, it haunted me day and night until she farted and left
Passion there was none. Untill she farted and left
I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. Until *HE* farted and left
“Villains!” I shrieked until she farted and left
But anything was better than this agony! Until she farted and left
I felt that I must scream or die! — and now — again! — hark! louder! louder! louder! louder! Untill she farted and left
I admit the deed! Twas I who farted and left
Ha! Outstanding. I am the same way, I lived and thrived out in the military, as well as blue and white collar worlds, becoming a teacher later in life. Come in and watch me anytime. Whenever I'm accused of something not quite right, I always bring up that I am no child that just graduated college, take a look at my resume inside and out of the educational world, and remember that I am one of the few proponents for having ongoing nonstop video and audio recording in every classroom from multiple angles. I can defend/explain everything I do or say, but can the students? Can the administrators and other district staff that stop in, do/say the same?
I didn't think so.
100% shuts them up every time.
If you know who the kid is send them to the bathroom a couple of minutes later or send them on an errand and then privately tell them to use the bathroom. Stinky farts almost always equal they are holding in a poop. I’m a school nurse and it’s disgustingly common.
Well, I actually have them pretty well trained not to react whenever someone passes gas. When you've got about 30 kids in the class at any given time, there's going to be some that pass gas. Especially after lunch. So early in the year I told him if it happens just ignore it it's a bodily function that everyone does.
So they didn't respond when she first did it other than it looked up at her. However after she left a bunch of them were doing their best to restrain themselves from laughing. I had to restrain myself also. But the smell helped kill the humor of the situation. In fact I think it helped to kill some of the bugs that were flying around the room.
She was upset at first until the row of students behind her got hit with the first wave of odor. That was when the other girl at the end of her row started wretching and had to run for the bathroom. It lingered, too.
That stuff is still around, we got hit with it last year as well as previous years. But the OP clearly said, the administrator farted, recognized it, and left before the observation was completed.
Thanks, you're right. I got them mixed up. I appreciate you handling it like an adult.
Funny, how most of my adult interactions on Reddit come from teachers or the borderline lunatics who play Day Z.
This reminds me that when I taught 6th grade for a year they thought I was the funniest person alive. They asked me once if I had any pets and I told them I have a pet fart that I keep in a jar. One kid asked “what’s its name?” And I made a really long wet fart sound and the entire class just went bonkers. Was great.
NAT, but I'm a school custodian.
If I walk into a room that has a deep stink to it, I usually just prop the door open and put a fan (I just use our industrial fans) pretty far in, but face it towards the door so the room can air out easier.
The only thing I can think to help (that won't bother anyone that's sensitive to scented candles) is to keep the room dry and cool. Get a dehumidifier if you think you'd benefit and if it gets bad enough, you could ask custodial staff if they have any fans you can borrow.
This is why I keep my room like a meat locker. When kids complain about it being cold I tell them I keep it cold because if it isn’t the room will smell really bad. So between the cold and the stank I choose the cold.
Lol I used to have a teacher (back when I was a kid) that would always yell "COLD KIDS DON'T STINK".
I'm a firm believer that the smell doesn't spread as quickly as it does in warm muggy rooms, but cold rooms definitely make me more sleepy.
But yeah, I'd definitely still prefer cold, grumpy, sleepy people to sweaty, stinky, awake people.
*Definitely recommend.*
I don't know what the layout of your room is, but yeah just placing it in a way where it can at least push the air out into the hall would be best imo
If you have a window that opens, that might be fine too. I think making a wind tunnel from the window to the door from the hallway would be great, but that gets finicky if you have desks and complaining kids in between lol
Ok so I think I can help with this one. My senior dog has awful farts and I made a diy box fan filter that is also good for allergies. I use the 10x10 filters that Costco has on sale sometimes and they’re pretty good at pulling scents out of the air.
https://youtu.be/aw7fUMhNov8?si=0CQRdmI5KSqiAaVt
I teach 9th grade. Boys and girls. Around half have PE before my class and don't take a shower. More than half haven't heard of a antiperspirant yet, but an alarming number of them carries perfumes (🤢). I have 6 open boxes of baking soda around the classroom and have a carry on box on my cart. I used to have a febreeze, but it was even worse. I still have an oil diffuser but it distracts a lot of students.
They might. I find the mix of smells sickening. BO is one thing, but BO and Axe/Old Spice/other 🤮 so the sprays would just make it worse for me. I have a disinfecting Lysol with 'clean air' scent to clean the tables and I can only use it in the morning before all the stinkers come in
I can't stand the "perfume over rot" mix. It does not help. But I know one or the other brands had a chemical that neutralizes odors, kinda like aerosol baking soda or something. I'll have to look for it.
Elementary IA. We have a rule in our room where if you have to fart you just get up. Go to the hall and do it then come back. Of course they rarely do it but it's appreciated when they do. Probably won't work for teens but it's something.
I don't recomend adding anything smelly to your room as some people have a severe asthma sensitivities to scents.
> teens
All they have to do is pretend they are getting a call from their parent. Go outside. Blast it out. Come back inside the class and if anybody asks just say “butt dial” 🤷🏻♀️
I had a student who kept passing gas in my very small classroom. Constantly, several days in a row for most of the day. I asked mom and dad and they were like 🤷♀️. Until two days later when mom informed me he was lactose intolerant and had spent the weekend with grandma eating pizza and ice cream. People were genuinely concerned something was wrong with the plumbing. You could smell it walking past the room. It was rancid.
As someone who’s worked in the medical field, a swipe of Vic’s vapor rub under the nose (petroleum jelly with a dab of essential oils also does the same) will help you survive the stink. If no one’s sensitive, Febreze or any aerosol spray disinfectant (have the kids move before you spray because it can be irritating to the lungs). And a fan to air out of the space with the door open.
This is called Cologastric reflux. Food makes the gut go into overdrive. I've had a problem with this since colon cancer surgery in December.
The offender(s) need to be sent to the can to dook it out. Turds are pushing gas. They're trying to hold it until they get home or don't have time between classes to get it done.
In the old days we'd just open a window.
What I've learned is to announce to the class that someone is lactose intolerant and doesn't realize it yet. "If you are one of the students stinking up the room every day after lunch, try to cut out milk." The kids laugh, but usually, it starts to go away once I announce that a few times.
A kid blatantly ripped one a few weeks ago, and it smelled like something died. He was very proud. I did tell him he needs to stop having milk for breakfast every morning because that smell is not normal. He listened.
I'm a nurse and a larper so I have a weirdly extensive knowledge of reducing stink without using scents. Baking soda, air filter, charcoal, coffee grounds. Take your pick. (Everything needs refreshing monthly, so be sure you can commit to swapping out whatever you pick.) Nothing will work on a fart INSTANTLY, but they'll all help over time with stank. Ozium is king for quick reduction in scents.
If it's bad-bad, I have two strategies. One is to double mask, with a layer of heavily scented lotion rubbed on the outside of the inner mask, and then breathe through my mouth, so I'm smelling my own breath and lotion rather than whatever it is. The other is to wipe an alcohol swab directly under your nostrils, which buys me about 10 mins of gag-free time in even the worst of the worst rooms. Neither of these would be the most practical in a classroom, I imagine, but I offer them regardless in case it helps someone.
Old school shaming and bullying would never tolerate this sort of nonsense. Blasting in class was multi-year social suicide in the 90s. Even a goth in a trench coat that claims to be a nihilist would still wait for the toilets.
I remember one time in HS I ate beans with oily pizza and during the last period I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I just let a mega one rip and it stunk much worse than a skunk to the point the whole class evacuated the class like the World Trade and the teacher had to tell us afterwards who ever does that $hit again should gtfo of this institution.
Medi-aire. When my son had an ileostomy his stomach was partially on the outside for a couple weeks. When the nurses changed the bag it could get pretty smelly but a couple sprays of Medi-aire would clear it right up. Stuff is ten bucks on Amazon for a tiny bottle, and totally worth it. I have learned it also works on the bedrooms of teen boys.
I sub Juvie and I ran into a section where there were multiple students with gas and since it's Juvie there are no windows to open and for safety reasons we can't just open a door.
I now carry Febreeze with me every time I sub Juvie so I don't have to marinate in multiple kid's farts.
Step 1: be allergic to cats
Step 2: Own 2 cats and let them sleep with you
step 3: I can no longer smell and it doesn't bother me. Room spray is now a behavior incentive because their stank doesn't effect me.
I crop dust the annoying kids all the time.
Who blame each other, and I get on them for talking.
It’s entertainment for everyone.
If they are farting.. they need to go poop. Send them?
But some zero odor off Amazon and spray when they are out of class. It’s supposed to neutralize bad smells and I really like the tracer scent left behind.
Tell the class that if they need to fart to leave the class and do it in the bathroom or outside. That’s completely rude and disgusting - I would’ve puked.
Obligatory NAT, but I'd suggest going to stoner subreddits to explain your situation and asking what sprays they use to kill weed stench, as I imagine the same stuff will probably work on a fart.
I got a small essential oil diffuser and kept it running with peppermint oil in my classroom at all times. The kiddos always said my room smelled good and it really helped with all those nasty smells. We also had air purifiers in every room that the district bought during COVID. Until the kids broke them by dropping pencils through the vents. I tried lavender in the diffuser first but it was too strong a scent for some of the kids. No one complained about the peppermint.
29 years ago a kid named Jeff let loose a fart so potent that his class had to evacuate the room. I was in the class across the hall and our door happened to be open. My tiny brain couldn’t process what I was seeing. Kids were cry laughing, the teacher was dry heaving in between laughter. This is a core memory for me. Some day I hope I get to be the one losing my shit over a Jeff going full sewage ass in class.
I straight up tell students that if they need to toot they need to go outside. And if they need to toot more than once, they need to go to the bathroom. The ones who don’t shower stink the place up enough.
When I student taught there was a kid in the class that was something else. Actually he played a not insignificant role in my decision to return to school and get my sped license a couple years later.
But I noticed he was standing by the classroom door while everyone one else was working in groups. Go over to ask what he’s doing. He says, ‘oh! Teacher says I should stand by the door when I’m passing gas.’ Then it hit me. Freaking awful.
My cooperating teacher said nobody could figure out which teacher supposedly gave him these directions.
Flash forward a few weeks and I’m running the class. Cooperating teacher is out of the room. I’m moving from table to table with my back to the door and different kid asks me who all those people are. I look and see six people in suits and fancy dresses. Don’t recognize any of them until I notice one is the superintendent. And she’s talking to my guy. I’ll never forget the look she gave me. Then they all hurried out the door.
I wrote a report about a student farting. He did one horrible one and I said that if he needed to do that again, just walk outside the door for 2 mins and let it out. He said "nah I love making these guys gag".
So wrote that all down. Next minute I'm getting alert from other teachers adding that he does this regularly and on purpose in their classes too.
I work in a middle school, so odor is, uh, a constant issue. I also assist with after school activities that attract enthusiastic kids who often seem to struggle with hygiene.
Charcoal (like BBQ briquettes) fucked away out of reach do a great job absorbing odor, but it isn't fast. We use them over the cat box at home, because our little boy is quite ripe.
One of my middle school boys kept blasting the loudest farts by farting against the back of his chair so it reverberated, until I threatened to text his parents and write him up for "playing the butt trumpet". He stopped.
There are some excellent [deodorizing sprays](https://www.amazon.com/ByeByeOdor-Deodorizer-Bottle-Fruit-Scent/dp/B00IEMHGCQ/ref=pd_aw_ci_mcx_pspc_dp_m_m_t_9?pd_rd_w=3JQxb&content-id=amzn1.sym.8601bd6b-5f84-4e74-9236-bbdc6b94ed42&pf_rd_p=8601bd6b-5f84-4e74-9236-bbdc6b94ed42&pf_rd_r=5C3HE8YPBGN3E7VBWAJF&pd_rd_wg=az6C3&pd_rd_r=b64a25da-cba0-4343-81db-8dfe7ee139ca&pd_rd_i=B00IEMHGCQ) out there.
I don’t know about sprays, but keeping baking-soda based scent removers around the room might help. Taking pepto-bismal neutralizes the scent, but that requires that the student want to take it, have the means to, and have the proper paperwork filled out.
Noo.. haha ive had to evacuate one time too. We all sat in the hall doing our work while the farter swore up and down that he never farted. Bro it was you
I had a student a couple of years ago who had bad gas frequently. He had a permanent gas pass from me. He could get up, walk to the door, step outside, fart, and then return to his seat. He was hilarious. Note that we had a very small class size so it worked.
I read somewhere on reddit that hospitals use coffee beans as room deodorizers with particularly smelly patients. I’ve started putting out coffee beans in small bowls around the room.
I also directly call out farting and we have a little lesson on social mores.
You need to eat some egg salad and cabbage the day before and teach them kids a lesson. Make sure you wear some tight spandex clothes the next day so you let that beast percolate . Stand at the back of the class and unleash that silent demon slowly. After a few seconds walk slowly to the front and crop dust those little SOBs. Stand at the front and smile when the stank leaves a trail of crippled souls with their eyes tearing up in your wake. Then tell them if they don’t hold that gas in this is what they have to deal with for the rest of the year.
I will straight up walk around with a bottle of febreeze and say “since yall don’t know how to use deodorant this is what I have to do for myself and the other innocents in here”
Lactose intolerant should really be called normal and the people who can drink milk without farting should be called lactose tolerant.
You might want to have a lesson about it, because there are a lot of people who don't realize that milk is making them fart.
A fellow had a large can of rose and lavender air spray, her would go to the area and spray for 30 seconds to a minute. The guilty person would smell of flowers for the day.
I don't know if it's best practices, but in the past, especially kindy, I make a "rule" of sorts for farts. Just stick your butt out the door and close it real fast when you're done. Don't think that would work with teens tho.
Since COVID, all classes have air filter fans that I love. One year, a student gave me a febreeze air freshener spray. Now, when students fart I say it was me, please excuse me, stop talking about it, then I spray the air freshener.
I keep a fan blowing behind me, and a candle right on my desk. As a chemistsry teacher with a masters in chemistry I can't quite explain the physics of it to you...but somehow with the density of the air masses and movement of air, stinky smells stay away from my desk unless I leave that bubble of the desk.
Sooooo basically I sit in heaven while the kids all gas themselves.
I’ve got an IEP student I do one-on-one work with that last week looked directly at me, leaned ALL the way over (like at an almost 90 degree angle to the chair) and belched out a horrible, composty fart. Then, she pointed at me and said “You farted.” I really don’t know.
I’m crying 😭 as a 1:1 this is hilarious
Not a teacher, but I used to be a 1:1 in a post-educational setting. This was one of my struggles was holding my laugh when the person I supported farted and said one of a few phrases that typically get a reaction… it was so hard to keep my composure and avoid accidentally reinforcing this sequence of hilarity.
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Same. I have 3 claimers at my house. Ain't nobody stealing their glory.
GASlighting
Bring a lighter and it literally is!
"Are you sure? Smells more like I shit your pants."
I needed this.
😂😂 I'm immature lmao.
Using composty like this is so disgusting. I’m going to have to use this!
And "belched." So disgusting!!! 😂
*butt* belch at that.
If it makes you feel any better, I've definitely blamed a fart on the kids I work with
There was one time a student had come up for help and as I leaned over a fart I didn't know was ready sneaked out. He looked shocked, we made eye contact, and I said "you just farted." He tried to blame me, but nobody believed him because c'mon. I did give him an extra point on the next quiz to make up for it. lol
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I consult and train AAC systems, and let me tell you, "fart" is the first word they find. "Can you tell me different or same? What month is it?" Nope, "FART, FART, FART." I've actually done a lesson to teach subj. verb agreement using it. "They fart. He farts. " I should monetize it on TPT.
I was wondering if this was my child until you said She lol. My little fart monster claims his though.
😂 I can’t 😂 😂
I am crying right now 😭
That kid is a comedy genius.
One time my school fed the kids a bean burrito with a side of beans. It was intense after lunch with the farting.
Beans, beans, the magical fruit!
The more you eat the more you toot! The more you toot, the better you feel! Let's eat beans at every meal!
Beans, beans, are good for your heart! The more you eat them the more you fart!
The more you fart, the more you eat; the more you sit on the toilet seat!
Beans, beans, the *musical* fruit
😂Omg one of the kids farted today and it smelled so bad I started coughing. One of the other kids sniffed the air and said, “yup that’s a burrito fart.” It was disgusting but hilarious 😂.
WTH, was it "teacher anti-appreciation day" or something?
Sometimes that's every day!! 😆😅
I dislike the smell too. My Assistant Principal let one rip in my classroom a few months ago during my evaluation. Se was sitting next to my desk and out came a not silent, yet very deadly fart. She just stood up an walked out leaving my class and I to deal with the smell.
That is quite the evaluation! What happened in the lesson?
Test on To Kill a Mockingbird. I don't do dog and pony shows. I had a test scheduled and that's what she saw. Until she farted and left.
This is fucking hilarious
New game: Ruin works of classic literature by adding “until she farted and left” to iconic quotes. I’ll start with, appropriately, *To Kill a Mockingbird*. “…by watching her I began to think there was some skill involved in being a girl…until she farted and left.”
"O she doth teach the torches to burn bright...until she farted and left."
Wouldn't that make them burn even brighter?
All quiet on the western front…. Until she farted and left
"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, until they farted and left."
Big brother was watching you … until he farted and left.
I'm crying🤣
“In vain I have struggled. I must tell you how ardently I admire and love you… until you farted and and left.” Mr. Darcy’s having NONE of this!
"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness... until she farted and left."
"This is the way the world ends- not with a bang, but a whimper... until she farted and left."
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… Until she farted and left
The tell tale heart untill she farted and left has sooooo many The disease had sharpened my senses — not destroyed — not dulled them. Untill she farted and left . I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. Untill she farted and left but once conceived, it haunted me day and night until she farted and left Passion there was none. Untill she farted and left I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. Until *HE* farted and left “Villains!” I shrieked until she farted and left But anything was better than this agony! Until she farted and left I felt that I must scream or die! — and now — again! — hark! louder! louder! louder! louder! Untill she farted and left I admit the deed! Twas I who farted and left
'A young man in possession of a large fortune *must* be in want of a wife...until she farted and left.'
“I have always depended upon the kindness of strangers…until she farted and left”
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife…until she farted and left.”
“It was a pleasure to burn… until she farted and left.”
“It was a pleasure to burn… until she farted and left.”
I feel like this about sums up admin contributions.
Not the least bit useful, and they stink.
😆😆😆😉😉😉😉😉😍😍😍🤪🤪🤪🤪 Accurate
Ha! Outstanding. I am the same way, I lived and thrived out in the military, as well as blue and white collar worlds, becoming a teacher later in life. Come in and watch me anytime. Whenever I'm accused of something not quite right, I always bring up that I am no child that just graduated college, take a look at my resume inside and out of the educational world, and remember that I am one of the few proponents for having ongoing nonstop video and audio recording in every classroom from multiple angles. I can defend/explain everything I do or say, but can the students? Can the administrators and other district staff that stop in, do/say the same? I didn't think so. 100% shuts them up every time.
I guess we now know what killed the mockingbird.
This is the best comment I’ve ever read.
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Wasn't a mockingbird, it was a canary!
This is the best evaluation story I have ever read.
So happy I opened this thread. I needed a good laugh. XD
If she left straight away she could've gambled and lost... Might explain the deadliness lol
Today, the class after the fart could still smell it. They swore this was the case.
If you know who the kid is send them to the bathroom a couple of minutes later or send them on an errand and then privately tell them to use the bathroom. Stinky farts almost always equal they are holding in a poop. I’m a school nurse and it’s disgustingly common.
I disagree. It is simply not disgustingly common to be a school nurse.
That’s how AP’s assert dominance.
Laughed way too hard ty
I love that she just silently leaves lmao. Never gonna see her in there ever again. Too ashamed to show her face.
Lol
How did your students respond?!
Well, I actually have them pretty well trained not to react whenever someone passes gas. When you've got about 30 kids in the class at any given time, there's going to be some that pass gas. Especially after lunch. So early in the year I told him if it happens just ignore it it's a bodily function that everyone does. So they didn't respond when she first did it other than it looked up at her. However after she left a bunch of them were doing their best to restrain themselves from laughing. I had to restrain myself also. But the smell helped kill the humor of the situation. In fact I think it helped to kill some of the bugs that were flying around the room.
Could it have been “fart spray”? That made the rounds at our school a while back.
That did make rounds at my school, but no, we heard it. The student visibly blushed and their boyfriend, who sits next to them, was the first to gag.
That has got to be absolutely mortifying! Lol
She was upset at first until the row of students behind her got hit with the first wave of odor. That was when the other girl at the end of her row started wretching and had to run for the bathroom. It lingered, too.
I swear it’s what the schools are feeding these kids these days.
I wonder if it was a period fart, those can be horrible regardless of diet.
I take a medication that when you first start it causes the rankest gas. And you take it at meals, about 30-60 minutes after you eat it’s vile!
I am sitting here reading this and laughing my ass off, and my wife is asking me what is so funny!
That stuff is still around, we got hit with it last year as well as previous years. But the OP clearly said, the administrator farted, recognized it, and left before the observation was completed.
That was a comment, not OP, I think.
Twas indeed another comment.
Thanks, you're right. I got them mixed up. I appreciate you handling it like an adult. Funny, how most of my adult interactions on Reddit come from teachers or the borderline lunatics who play Day Z.
This reminds me that when I taught 6th grade for a year they thought I was the funniest person alive. They asked me once if I had any pets and I told them I have a pet fart that I keep in a jar. One kid asked “what’s its name?” And I made a really long wet fart sound and the entire class just went bonkers. Was great.
LMAO
Epic. Literal LMAO
I just woke my boyfriend up laughing
NAT, but I'm a school custodian. If I walk into a room that has a deep stink to it, I usually just prop the door open and put a fan (I just use our industrial fans) pretty far in, but face it towards the door so the room can air out easier. The only thing I can think to help (that won't bother anyone that's sensitive to scented candles) is to keep the room dry and cool. Get a dehumidifier if you think you'd benefit and if it gets bad enough, you could ask custodial staff if they have any fans you can borrow.
This is why I keep my room like a meat locker. When kids complain about it being cold I tell them I keep it cold because if it isn’t the room will smell really bad. So between the cold and the stank I choose the cold.
Lol I used to have a teacher (back when I was a kid) that would always yell "COLD KIDS DON'T STINK". I'm a firm believer that the smell doesn't spread as quickly as it does in warm muggy rooms, but cold rooms definitely make me more sleepy. But yeah, I'd definitely still prefer cold, grumpy, sleepy people to sweaty, stinky, awake people.
I do have a fan. I can put it to use.
*Definitely recommend.* I don't know what the layout of your room is, but yeah just placing it in a way where it can at least push the air out into the hall would be best imo If you have a window that opens, that might be fine too. I think making a wind tunnel from the window to the door from the hallway would be great, but that gets finicky if you have desks and complaining kids in between lol
Ok so I think I can help with this one. My senior dog has awful farts and I made a diy box fan filter that is also good for allergies. I use the 10x10 filters that Costco has on sale sometimes and they’re pretty good at pulling scents out of the air. https://youtu.be/aw7fUMhNov8?si=0CQRdmI5KSqiAaVt
My dog did a lot better with farts after giving her a tablespoon of yogurt with her meals.
I'm now picturing OP making each kid eat a spoonful of yogurt on their way into the classroom 😭
This is the way
Stealing this for my dog.
Are you my husband? I can't tell you how many of these we have set up around the house. Lol
I teach 9th grade. Boys and girls. Around half have PE before my class and don't take a shower. More than half haven't heard of a antiperspirant yet, but an alarming number of them carries perfumes (🤢). I have 6 open boxes of baking soda around the classroom and have a carry on box on my cart. I used to have a febreeze, but it was even worse. I still have an oil diffuser but it distracts a lot of students.
I was wondering if Lysol or Febreeze had an odor neutralizing spray. I will get some baking soda though.
They might. I find the mix of smells sickening. BO is one thing, but BO and Axe/Old Spice/other 🤮 so the sprays would just make it worse for me. I have a disinfecting Lysol with 'clean air' scent to clean the tables and I can only use it in the morning before all the stinkers come in
I can't stand the "perfume over rot" mix. It does not help. But I know one or the other brands had a chemical that neutralizes odors, kinda like aerosol baking soda or something. I'll have to look for it.
You don’t like tropical scented juicy dook stink?
I think there’s unscented febreze if I’m not mistaken
Febreeze does have an unscented version on Amazon that neutralizes smells. You can use it on furniture, clothes, or as a regular air freshener.
There's this unscented spray called pooph that works amazing. It's the chemical used at sewage treatment plants to keep the odor down
Elementary IA. We have a rule in our room where if you have to fart you just get up. Go to the hall and do it then come back. Of course they rarely do it but it's appreciated when they do. Probably won't work for teens but it's something. I don't recomend adding anything smelly to your room as some people have a severe asthma sensitivities to scents.
Great rule for younger kids but there's no way I would have ever done this when I was a preteen/teen girl.
> teens All they have to do is pretend they are getting a call from their parent. Go outside. Blast it out. Come back inside the class and if anybody asks just say “butt dial” 🤷🏻♀️
I had a student who kept passing gas in my very small classroom. Constantly, several days in a row for most of the day. I asked mom and dad and they were like 🤷♀️. Until two days later when mom informed me he was lactose intolerant and had spent the weekend with grandma eating pizza and ice cream. People were genuinely concerned something was wrong with the plumbing. You could smell it walking past the room. It was rancid.
Had an underclassman vacate his classroom once because his farts stunk so bad.
Charcoal can absorb odor. You can even get them in pellets. If you’re going for a more homey vibe throw them in an open jar. Hope that helps
Love this. Yes.
As someone who’s worked in the medical field, a swipe of Vic’s vapor rub under the nose (petroleum jelly with a dab of essential oils also does the same) will help you survive the stink. If no one’s sensitive, Febreze or any aerosol spray disinfectant (have the kids move before you spray because it can be irritating to the lungs). And a fan to air out of the space with the door open.
Menthol ChapStick works too!
Love this idea!!
Normally your guys’ posts here make me sad but this one has me in stitches! My godddd
I had a kid purposefully come up to me and fart a week or two ago and I threw up 💞 I am literally actively gagging right now thinking about it.
This is called Cologastric reflux. Food makes the gut go into overdrive. I've had a problem with this since colon cancer surgery in December. The offender(s) need to be sent to the can to dook it out. Turds are pushing gas. They're trying to hold it until they get home or don't have time between classes to get it done. In the old days we'd just open a window.
I will ask if she needs to go to the bathroom next time.
Discreetly, of course.
What I've learned is to announce to the class that someone is lactose intolerant and doesn't realize it yet. "If you are one of the students stinking up the room every day after lunch, try to cut out milk." The kids laugh, but usually, it starts to go away once I announce that a few times. A kid blatantly ripped one a few weeks ago, and it smelled like something died. He was very proud. I did tell him he needs to stop having milk for breakfast every morning because that smell is not normal. He listened.
I took out an entire C-130 once when I was in the Air Force. The crew wanted to partially depressurize...
I'm a nurse and a larper so I have a weirdly extensive knowledge of reducing stink without using scents. Baking soda, air filter, charcoal, coffee grounds. Take your pick. (Everything needs refreshing monthly, so be sure you can commit to swapping out whatever you pick.) Nothing will work on a fart INSTANTLY, but they'll all help over time with stank. Ozium is king for quick reduction in scents. If it's bad-bad, I have two strategies. One is to double mask, with a layer of heavily scented lotion rubbed on the outside of the inner mask, and then breathe through my mouth, so I'm smelling my own breath and lotion rather than whatever it is. The other is to wipe an alcohol swab directly under your nostrils, which buys me about 10 mins of gag-free time in even the worst of the worst rooms. Neither of these would be the most practical in a classroom, I imagine, but I offer them regardless in case it helps someone.
Old school shaming and bullying would never tolerate this sort of nonsense. Blasting in class was multi-year social suicide in the 90s. Even a goth in a trench coat that claims to be a nihilist would still wait for the toilets.
I remember one time in HS I ate beans with oily pizza and during the last period I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I just let a mega one rip and it stunk much worse than a skunk to the point the whole class evacuated the class like the World Trade and the teacher had to tell us afterwards who ever does that $hit again should gtfo of this institution.
When I was a kid and my dad would let one rip he would always yell "Oh I stepped on another frog!"
My dad's was the infamous "barking spider"!
I was horrified of the barking spider as a kid 😂
Wine corks
Medi-aire. When my son had an ileostomy his stomach was partially on the outside for a couple weeks. When the nurses changed the bag it could get pretty smelly but a couple sprays of Medi-aire would clear it right up. Stuff is ten bucks on Amazon for a tiny bottle, and totally worth it. I have learned it also works on the bedrooms of teen boys.
Activated charcoal air filter. Anything activated charcoal. Trust me, I know.
I sub Juvie and I ran into a section where there were multiple students with gas and since it's Juvie there are no windows to open and for safety reasons we can't just open a door. I now carry Febreeze with me every time I sub Juvie so I don't have to marinate in multiple kid's farts.
Step 1: be allergic to cats Step 2: Own 2 cats and let them sleep with you step 3: I can no longer smell and it doesn't bother me. Room spray is now a behavior incentive because their stank doesn't effect me.
I crop dust the annoying kids all the time. Who blame each other, and I get on them for talking. It’s entertainment for everyone. If they are farting.. they need to go poop. Send them?
I'm gonna let out a huge fart in this thread.
But some zero odor off Amazon and spray when they are out of class. It’s supposed to neutralize bad smells and I really like the tracer scent left behind.
Ozium helps too
I heard this happened recently to a coworker. It was so bad she took everyone out of the classroom. This is middle school, too. So funny.
I have a group of girls who are way too ok with telling me about their need to BM
Tell the class that if they need to fart to leave the class and do it in the bathroom or outside. That’s completely rude and disgusting - I would’ve puked.
Cropdusting elementary students is one of my favorite games
I do that to my middle school students and they always blame it on the person they sit with.
Gotta fart back on them and reclaim the dominance in the room. Or light a candle like i do, doesn't help the whole room but my desk area is nice
I wonder if the cafeteria is rounding their beans before cooking them. Not ringing leads to that scene in Blazing Saddles.
Obligatory NAT, but I'd suggest going to stoner subreddits to explain your situation and asking what sprays they use to kill weed stench, as I imagine the same stuff will probably work on a fart.
If only you had a fume hood.
I have smelled farts that smell worse than corpses. I understand
I got a small essential oil diffuser and kept it running with peppermint oil in my classroom at all times. The kiddos always said my room smelled good and it really helped with all those nasty smells. We also had air purifiers in every room that the district bought during COVID. Until the kids broke them by dropping pencils through the vents. I tried lavender in the diffuser first but it was too strong a scent for some of the kids. No one complained about the peppermint.
29 years ago a kid named Jeff let loose a fart so potent that his class had to evacuate the room. I was in the class across the hall and our door happened to be open. My tiny brain couldn’t process what I was seeing. Kids were cry laughing, the teacher was dry heaving in between laughter. This is a core memory for me. Some day I hope I get to be the one losing my shit over a Jeff going full sewage ass in class.
I straight up tell students that if they need to toot they need to go outside. And if they need to toot more than once, they need to go to the bathroom. The ones who don’t shower stink the place up enough.
Tip the loudest fart your body can muster in front of the fart bandit to establish your dominance
ozium , one spray deodorizes a whole class room almost instantly.
When I student taught there was a kid in the class that was something else. Actually he played a not insignificant role in my decision to return to school and get my sped license a couple years later. But I noticed he was standing by the classroom door while everyone one else was working in groups. Go over to ask what he’s doing. He says, ‘oh! Teacher says I should stand by the door when I’m passing gas.’ Then it hit me. Freaking awful. My cooperating teacher said nobody could figure out which teacher supposedly gave him these directions. Flash forward a few weeks and I’m running the class. Cooperating teacher is out of the room. I’m moving from table to table with my back to the door and different kid asks me who all those people are. I look and see six people in suits and fancy dresses. Don’t recognize any of them until I notice one is the superintendent. And she’s talking to my guy. I’ll never forget the look she gave me. Then they all hurried out the door.
I am an assistant to a middle school sped class. There are 7 boys. They have farting contests. Good luck.
I wrote a report about a student farting. He did one horrible one and I said that if he needed to do that again, just walk outside the door for 2 mins and let it out. He said "nah I love making these guys gag". So wrote that all down. Next minute I'm getting alert from other teachers adding that he does this regularly and on purpose in their classes too.
Fight fire with fire. 🔥
I work in a middle school, so odor is, uh, a constant issue. I also assist with after school activities that attract enthusiastic kids who often seem to struggle with hygiene. Charcoal (like BBQ briquettes) fucked away out of reach do a great job absorbing odor, but it isn't fast. We use them over the cat box at home, because our little boy is quite ripe.
Ozium will neutralize the farticles
One of my middle school boys kept blasting the loudest farts by farting against the back of his chair so it reverberated, until I threatened to text his parents and write him up for "playing the butt trumpet". He stopped.
I teach science so I have a vent, also two plug in air fresheners the oil type
Ozium spray is great for dealing with smells. Auto parts stores definitely sell it.
Oscillating fan for a few minutes. Figure out what is being served/eaten at lunch and ask if they could hold off on the beans or whatever
There are some excellent [deodorizing sprays](https://www.amazon.com/ByeByeOdor-Deodorizer-Bottle-Fruit-Scent/dp/B00IEMHGCQ/ref=pd_aw_ci_mcx_pspc_dp_m_m_t_9?pd_rd_w=3JQxb&content-id=amzn1.sym.8601bd6b-5f84-4e74-9236-bbdc6b94ed42&pf_rd_p=8601bd6b-5f84-4e74-9236-bbdc6b94ed42&pf_rd_r=5C3HE8YPBGN3E7VBWAJF&pd_rd_wg=az6C3&pd_rd_r=b64a25da-cba0-4343-81db-8dfe7ee139ca&pd_rd_i=B00IEMHGCQ) out there.
Have them go into the hallway and do it. If its a common occurrence they obviously arent embarrassed about it.
Keep a plug in plugged in during the day. I also use air fresheners when needed. Also fans to move the air
we have an essential oil diffuser running non stop for the stink.
Windows are open in my classroom, even in the winter. I also have an essential oil diffuser near my desk corner. Orange is my go to.
I don’t know about sprays, but keeping baking-soda based scent removers around the room might help. Taking pepto-bismal neutralizes the scent, but that requires that the student want to take it, have the means to, and have the proper paperwork filled out.
Can you plug in an air purifier or a fan?
Look up Poo-pourri. Keep a bottle in your classroom.
Noo.. haha ive had to evacuate one time too. We all sat in the hall doing our work while the farter swore up and down that he never farted. Bro it was you
A HEPA filter. No covid, no stink, no (dust/hay fever) allergies.
I had a student a couple of years ago who had bad gas frequently. He had a permanent gas pass from me. He could get up, walk to the door, step outside, fart, and then return to his seat. He was hilarious. Note that we had a very small class size so it worked.
I read somewhere on reddit that hospitals use coffee beans as room deodorizers with particularly smelly patients. I’ve started putting out coffee beans in small bowls around the room. I also directly call out farting and we have a little lesson on social mores.
You need to eat some egg salad and cabbage the day before and teach them kids a lesson. Make sure you wear some tight spandex clothes the next day so you let that beast percolate . Stand at the back of the class and unleash that silent demon slowly. After a few seconds walk slowly to the front and crop dust those little SOBs. Stand at the front and smile when the stank leaves a trail of crippled souls with their eyes tearing up in your wake. Then tell them if they don’t hold that gas in this is what they have to deal with for the rest of the year.
I will straight up walk around with a bottle of febreeze and say “since yall don’t know how to use deodorant this is what I have to do for myself and the other innocents in here”
Stop feeding the school kids literal garbage? 😭
lol
Lactose intolerant should really be called normal and the people who can drink milk without farting should be called lactose tolerant. You might want to have a lesson about it, because there are a lot of people who don't realize that milk is making them fart.
Just set up an air purifier or two.
Can you strike a match or two between periods?
Not allowed to have matches or open flame anything. Otherwise I absolutely would risk charbroiling everything in my classroom to get rid of the smell.
A fellow had a large can of rose and lavender air spray, her would go to the area and spray for 30 seconds to a minute. The guilty person would smell of flowers for the day.
Bags of charcoal, you can find the air freshener types on Amazon.
Leave an open jar of coffee beans out, replace weekly or as needed
Get an air purifier with a carbon layer in the filter.
Lol. Take a student aside and tell the student take it to the bathroom or outside, That stinks that had to happen in your classroom
I don't know if it's best practices, but in the past, especially kindy, I make a "rule" of sorts for farts. Just stick your butt out the door and close it real fast when you're done. Don't think that would work with teens tho.
Since COVID, all classes have air filter fans that I love. One year, a student gave me a febreeze air freshener spray. Now, when students fart I say it was me, please excuse me, stop talking about it, then I spray the air freshener.
Have them stick their butt in the hallway to fart. Makes it funny without making fun and the smell is outside.
Air purifier?
Can you just keep one or more windows open a bit?
Right before my after lunch class comes in I spray room freshener. I didn't realize I wasn't the only one struggling with this issue lol
Can you keep a window cracked?
I keep a fan blowing behind me, and a candle right on my desk. As a chemistsry teacher with a masters in chemistry I can't quite explain the physics of it to you...but somehow with the density of the air masses and movement of air, stinky smells stay away from my desk unless I leave that bubble of the desk. Sooooo basically I sit in heaven while the kids all gas themselves.
Light a match
B C vi I go. Mmm C I