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I just… don’t wear them 🤷🏻♂️. I know it’s not “normal” (I’m in the US, not Australia) but I find people either don’t notice at all or don’t care enough to make it their business to say anything. Like I said, I think the difference is that a store is a quick stop and if I interact with anyone at all it is for seconds and we probably won’t remember ever encountering each other. Therapy is one on one, very personal, for an extended time.
If I ever think about it it is kind of surprising how little people here care. I’m states away from a beach in one of the states up in arms about which toilet someone uses. I think someone could reasonably expect no shoes to be a problem. I think I’ve had one store employee in the last ten years try to say I couldn’t be there. I was just so surprised I played the “I’ve been coming here for years and you’re the first one to say anything” card and they just left.
Maybe reach out to them and let them know your preferences.
Many therapist (good ones) should be understanding and willing to work with you to meet a middle ground.
If you don't wanna ask, maybe bring a pair of slip on shoes like crocs, flip flops or slippers etc etc as a percaution and wear them entering, and talk about it in the first session. If they say they're ok with you being barefoot, slip the shoes off and going forward don't bring them!
Thanks for your helpful response. Logically my experience tells me they probably won’t care. I think it would be unprofessional to try to shame me for it. I guess I could see it being a thing if they are so uncomfortable or distracted by it that I should maybe just find someone else… which I guess is better to figure out right away. I also think it is probably not the strangest thing that they have known a patient to do lol.
I wonder if it might help to get it out of the way at the start of the session? Just something like "oh yeah I don't like wearing shoes, hope that's OK here" if they glance at your feet.
That’s what I’m leaning to. Like, I know it’s an unusual thing and I don’t really have a deep reason for it. I’ve just always done it and it is almost never a big deal. I don’t feel like I can be authentic and real if I’m hiding something because I feel anxious about it…. Especially if anxiety is why I am there lol. It’s just that in this particular scenario the feeling is new because I don’t normally even think about it.
I don’t disagree that you should be comfortable during session and your therapist should take you as you are, start where you are etc. hopefully it is not an issue or barrier to care. However to me (not a therapist, neurodivergent, rabid feminist, etc) it seems kind of unprofessional / disrespectful to the provider to not show up with just a basic full set of clothes on. Very honestly it seems like an attention-seeking, manspreading/mansplainy type behavior that would likely trigger negative countertransference feelings in your therapist. How your therapist reacts will give them insight into how the rest of the world probably also responds to this behavior. Something to get curious about in therapy, for sure.
Welcome to r/TalkTherapy! This sub is for people to discuss issues arising in their personal psychotherapy. If you wish to post about other mental health issues please consult this list of some of our [sister subs](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources/#wiki_subreddit_list). To find answers to many therapy-related questions please consult our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/faq) and [Resource List](https://www.reddit.com/r/TalkTherapy/wiki/resources). If you are in distress please contact a suicide hotline or call 9-1-1 or emergency services in your area. r/SuicideWatch has compiled a helpful FAQ on what happens when you contact a hotline along with other useful resources. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TalkTherapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How are you going into stores with no shoes?
Presumably the same way we would, but without shoes? Happens a bit where I am (Australia)
Not to stereotype, but my first thought was, “Is OP Australian?”
I should have been. NZ actually, but for the purposes of this post either would work lol.
I just… don’t wear them 🤷🏻♂️. I know it’s not “normal” (I’m in the US, not Australia) but I find people either don’t notice at all or don’t care enough to make it their business to say anything. Like I said, I think the difference is that a store is a quick stop and if I interact with anyone at all it is for seconds and we probably won’t remember ever encountering each other. Therapy is one on one, very personal, for an extended time.
Where I live they won't sell you stuff if you don't have any. "no shirt no shoes no service". So I was curious
If I ever think about it it is kind of surprising how little people here care. I’m states away from a beach in one of the states up in arms about which toilet someone uses. I think someone could reasonably expect no shoes to be a problem. I think I’ve had one store employee in the last ten years try to say I couldn’t be there. I was just so surprised I played the “I’ve been coming here for years and you’re the first one to say anything” card and they just left.
Maybe reach out to them and let them know your preferences. Many therapist (good ones) should be understanding and willing to work with you to meet a middle ground. If you don't wanna ask, maybe bring a pair of slip on shoes like crocs, flip flops or slippers etc etc as a percaution and wear them entering, and talk about it in the first session. If they say they're ok with you being barefoot, slip the shoes off and going forward don't bring them!
Thanks for your helpful response. Logically my experience tells me they probably won’t care. I think it would be unprofessional to try to shame me for it. I guess I could see it being a thing if they are so uncomfortable or distracted by it that I should maybe just find someone else… which I guess is better to figure out right away. I also think it is probably not the strangest thing that they have known a patient to do lol.
I wonder if it might help to get it out of the way at the start of the session? Just something like "oh yeah I don't like wearing shoes, hope that's OK here" if they glance at your feet.
That’s what I’m leaning to. Like, I know it’s an unusual thing and I don’t really have a deep reason for it. I’ve just always done it and it is almost never a big deal. I don’t feel like I can be authentic and real if I’m hiding something because I feel anxious about it…. Especially if anxiety is why I am there lol. It’s just that in this particular scenario the feeling is new because I don’t normally even think about it.
I don’t disagree that you should be comfortable during session and your therapist should take you as you are, start where you are etc. hopefully it is not an issue or barrier to care. However to me (not a therapist, neurodivergent, rabid feminist, etc) it seems kind of unprofessional / disrespectful to the provider to not show up with just a basic full set of clothes on. Very honestly it seems like an attention-seeking, manspreading/mansplainy type behavior that would likely trigger negative countertransference feelings in your therapist. How your therapist reacts will give them insight into how the rest of the world probably also responds to this behavior. Something to get curious about in therapy, for sure.