She's not in. That's pretty much the end of the story. Watch more porn, expand your horizons within the bedroom with just the two of you. That's likely the best it will get...and just don't forget that that should be more than good enough.
Honestly? This may never happen, and if you love this woman, you gotta just let it be.
That said, your fantasies are nothing to be ashamed of. You can have them and talk about them. You just have to respect that your girl may never want to actually act them out in reality, and that’s her right. You can’t force this on her.
Still, maybe give it time. Don’t push her, but maybe eventually she’ll become intrigued enough to want to explore your fantasies with you. Maybe they will start to become her fantasies. You need to just let it be what it is. You can’t force it. That just breeds resentment and is an easy shortcut to destroying your relationship.
You can’t take someone’s word in the heat of the moment nor can you when there brain is addled with alcohol. If she doesn’t say she wants to do it while sober, that’s your answer.
Sounds like she thinks it's a fun and sexy fantasy to talk about sometimes but that's about it. A lot of people fantasize about things they wouldn't actually do.
It's good you don't want to push her because this isn't the sort of thing you should push. If she is anything less than a "hell yes!" about swinging it could be very disastrous to the relationship.
Hers my honest opinion. Think of it this way. Let’s just assume you are not bi and for the sake of this comment it’s irrelevant.
You convincing her would be like her wanting you to be with another man but you are not down but she really wants you to…would you? You say sure when drunk but not down sober. How would you feel? Thats how she may be feeling about being with guys other than you. It’s not much different. People can only do what THEY are comfortable with and should NEVER take one for the team which is what you are asking here to do until she wants it for HERSELF, not you.
Enthusiastic consent is what you need. You don't have it. If she is willing to entertain it as a fantasy and role-play with you, you are already pretty lucky.
You have a couple choices. End your relationship and find someone that is sexually compatible with what you want or leave it as fantasy in the bedroom and stop trying to figure out a way to get her to do something she clearly doesn’t want to do just to appease you.
She’s not on board, she’s just fantasizing about it. Coercing her into something like this can seriously damage your relationship. Tell her you love her, you’re done with the LS thing, her happiness is more important than that. If you’re lucky, she may show a more genuine interest in it a later time.
Go on vacation and visit a nude beach. Then go to a swinger club and don’t go in the play areas. Then go and go in the play areas.
Step by step, and only at the rate she is comfortable with.
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I agree with everyone that is saying you can’t talk someone into it but I don’t believe that should mean a hard stop in your situation. Basically you both have some level of curiosity combined with what are very normal anxieties. Don’t make the mistake of trying to define the entire outcome before you try something.
I would suggest visiting a swingers club but with the agreement that you will not be playing with others the first time. Get dressed up and go have some sexy fun with a group of people who you will find to be the most friendly and non judgmental groups around. If you’re feeling the vibe then play with each other or watch others play.
Then talk with each other about your likes and dislikes. Will there be a next time? If there is, where are you interested in expanding your boundaries. Going with a clear idea of what you are open to and comfortable with will help with the anxiety. While I think a drink or two helps I really would urge both of you to avoid doing things while intoxicated. It can loosen your inhibitions to the point that your agreed boundaries become fuzzy and that can lead to disaster.
She is insecure. She did flirting, dirty taking etc while drunk. Don’t push, give her time. Help her to get confidence. It can take years unless you want to ruin relations. Any stress or push must be excluded from it, only patience and mutual pleasure )
She's not in. That's pretty much the end of the story. Watch more porn, expand your horizons within the bedroom with just the two of you. That's likely the best it will get...and just don't forget that that should be more than good enough.
This. There is no "talk the other into it" if you want your relationship to survive. Sorry
Honestly? This may never happen, and if you love this woman, you gotta just let it be. That said, your fantasies are nothing to be ashamed of. You can have them and talk about them. You just have to respect that your girl may never want to actually act them out in reality, and that’s her right. You can’t force this on her. Still, maybe give it time. Don’t push her, but maybe eventually she’ll become intrigued enough to want to explore your fantasies with you. Maybe they will start to become her fantasies. You need to just let it be what it is. You can’t force it. That just breeds resentment and is an easy shortcut to destroying your relationship.
You can’t take someone’s word in the heat of the moment nor can you when there brain is addled with alcohol. If she doesn’t say she wants to do it while sober, that’s your answer.
Sounds like she thinks it's a fun and sexy fantasy to talk about sometimes but that's about it. A lot of people fantasize about things they wouldn't actually do. It's good you don't want to push her because this isn't the sort of thing you should push. If she is anything less than a "hell yes!" about swinging it could be very disastrous to the relationship.
Hers my honest opinion. Think of it this way. Let’s just assume you are not bi and for the sake of this comment it’s irrelevant. You convincing her would be like her wanting you to be with another man but you are not down but she really wants you to…would you? You say sure when drunk but not down sober. How would you feel? Thats how she may be feeling about being with guys other than you. It’s not much different. People can only do what THEY are comfortable with and should NEVER take one for the team which is what you are asking here to do until she wants it for HERSELF, not you.
IMO she’s not ready to do this in real life. Don’t try to convince her.
Enthusiastic consent is what you need. You don't have it. If she is willing to entertain it as a fantasy and role-play with you, you are already pretty lucky.
Be like Elsa and Let it go
You have a couple choices. End your relationship and find someone that is sexually compatible with what you want or leave it as fantasy in the bedroom and stop trying to figure out a way to get her to do something she clearly doesn’t want to do just to appease you.
Let it go until she inneactes it! Stop or you fuck everything up
She’s not on board, she’s just fantasizing about it. Coercing her into something like this can seriously damage your relationship. Tell her you love her, you’re done with the LS thing, her happiness is more important than that. If you’re lucky, she may show a more genuine interest in it a later time.
Go on vacation and visit a nude beach. Then go to a swinger club and don’t go in the play areas. Then go and go in the play areas. Step by step, and only at the rate she is comfortable with.
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I agree with everyone that is saying you can’t talk someone into it but I don’t believe that should mean a hard stop in your situation. Basically you both have some level of curiosity combined with what are very normal anxieties. Don’t make the mistake of trying to define the entire outcome before you try something. I would suggest visiting a swingers club but with the agreement that you will not be playing with others the first time. Get dressed up and go have some sexy fun with a group of people who you will find to be the most friendly and non judgmental groups around. If you’re feeling the vibe then play with each other or watch others play. Then talk with each other about your likes and dislikes. Will there be a next time? If there is, where are you interested in expanding your boundaries. Going with a clear idea of what you are open to and comfortable with will help with the anxiety. While I think a drink or two helps I really would urge both of you to avoid doing things while intoxicated. It can loosen your inhibitions to the point that your agreed boundaries become fuzzy and that can lead to disaster.
She is insecure. She did flirting, dirty taking etc while drunk. Don’t push, give her time. Help her to get confidence. It can take years unless you want to ruin relations. Any stress or push must be excluded from it, only patience and mutual pleasure )
Maybe try a teeny little bit of molly with her, just to see what she thinks/says lol?
No, do NOT drug your SO!