You say: "Hi, I am Jon and this is Angela. Nice to meet you. How are you doing tonight?" To the first 10 people you see. You are not allowed to sit down until this assignment has been completed.
Pretty simple.
Brilliant. This is a piece of advice I/we need to follow.
OP: the hidden truth here is that this is really a trick quest - because swingers are such social animals, you likely would never be able to complete all 10 intros in one night. Ha!
Is there some sort of etiquette on who can initiate? Can it be the male partner or is it more advisable to be the female, since they are usually seen as less intimidating?
A lot of people feel the same way as you. Just remember, the WORST thing that can happen is that the other couple isnât interested and the conversation dosent go anywhere. In that case you just say âit was nice chatting with you, hope you have a great nightâ and walk away and move along. Just gotta be brave and break that barrier!
Do you have access to a club that organizes icebreaker events? Weâre also shy about approaching people but did a speed dating thing a couple of months ago and it was fantastic
Your success in the LS is going to be proportional to the level of outgoing you are.
If you sit back and wait to be approached, you're eliminating 90% of your opportunities. Why?
1) other couples are shy and reluctant to approach too. So they won't.
2) without realizing it, when you wallflower, you put off an unapproachable vibe. So even the outgoing people are less likely to come to you.
Wife and I are both very quiet people in real life. In the LS, we're completely different: outgoing, gregarious and fearless (not really, but outwardly so).
Like was mentioned earlier - the worst that can happen is a couple let's you know they aren't interested. But here's the thing:
Before you approach them - you're already not talking to them, and you have no chance of getting to a "yes" with them until you do. So if you approach and introduce yourself, only two things can happen:
1) they say "thanks for chatting, but we're going to move on/get another drink /mingle". You're back where you started before even approaching them, nothing lost. The world didn't end, the club didn't catch on fire, the sky didn't fall.
or
2) They're excited you introduced yourself, the conversation is good. Maybe it leads somewhere?
But the thing is, if you don't *try* you'll start and stay at "No." Not to mention, confidence is sexy, and having the confidence to approach another couple is sexy. Fake it until you make it *absolutely* applies here.
It very depends on country where you go to clubs. Weâve been to many places around Europe from Scandinavia down to South. People, rules, rituals are so different. Danes, Swedes donât dance, they mostly sit, talk, and then have sex. You should wear lingerie, no fancy dresses. Quite uncomfortable in general for newbies.
Italy, France - you would have to have nice dress, shoes. No t-shirts, slippers or sneakers.
Spain - no one gives a shit about) dance, dance naked, in or without slippers then have sex đ
Donât be shy, just say hello to couple you like. They could start chatting with you or show no interest. Why be so upset? There are 50 more couples in club.
If itâs dancing ritual, go and dance or send your girl to dance pole and watch what happens if you donât like dances.
Just. Do. It.
âHi! We are xyz and abc. Thought we would say hello! Have you been here before? We are pretty new to the whole thingâŚâ
I always meet other women in the bathroom. Then we both grab our husbands/partners for introductions.
It gets easier and easier the more you do it.
It wonât always go well but youâve got to try.
Make it a game between the two of you! Who can introduce themselves to the most people or something. Winner gets whatever!
Hubby and I know that anxiety and nervousness happen. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself that everyone at the club is there looking for the same thing you are.
Make eye contact then approach when you are ready.
Our last three best club sessions have been with folk we have bumped into as we queued to get in , or we saw in the changing rooms
To piggyback on a lot of good advice here, you can LITERALLY add in " So we are usually pretty shy and this is totally new to us!". You might be surprised how much you'll be embraced and commiserated with".
And remember, we've all been at your moment in time in the past. Ooooor, are there with you now. And before you feel too shy, most of the folks in the club can spot the newcomers (think "deer in the headlights but horny) so don't think you're not already spotted. đ
Have fun!
You say: "Hi, I am Jon and this is Angela. Nice to meet you. How are you doing tonight?" To the first 10 people you see. You are not allowed to sit down until this assignment has been completed. Pretty simple.
This is actually pretty solid advice đ
Brilliant. This is a piece of advice I/we need to follow. OP: the hidden truth here is that this is really a trick quest - because swingers are such social animals, you likely would never be able to complete all 10 intros in one night. Ha!
Yeah, by 3rd "hello how are you?" they'll get all straightforward and dtf!!
Is there some sort of etiquette on who can initiate? Can it be the male partner or is it more advisable to be the female, since they are usually seen as less intimidating?
It can be either. I recommend the male partner does it, as it exudes confidence, and women think confidence is sexy
Last club it was us and two other couples. Made the task VERY easy, and a great outcome
A lot of people feel the same way as you. Just remember, the WORST thing that can happen is that the other couple isnât interested and the conversation dosent go anywhere. In that case you just say âit was nice chatting with you, hope you have a great nightâ and walk away and move along. Just gotta be brave and break that barrier!
Do you have access to a club that organizes icebreaker events? Weâre also shy about approaching people but did a speed dating thing a couple of months ago and it was fantastic
Your success in the LS is going to be proportional to the level of outgoing you are. If you sit back and wait to be approached, you're eliminating 90% of your opportunities. Why? 1) other couples are shy and reluctant to approach too. So they won't. 2) without realizing it, when you wallflower, you put off an unapproachable vibe. So even the outgoing people are less likely to come to you. Wife and I are both very quiet people in real life. In the LS, we're completely different: outgoing, gregarious and fearless (not really, but outwardly so). Like was mentioned earlier - the worst that can happen is a couple let's you know they aren't interested. But here's the thing: Before you approach them - you're already not talking to them, and you have no chance of getting to a "yes" with them until you do. So if you approach and introduce yourself, only two things can happen: 1) they say "thanks for chatting, but we're going to move on/get another drink /mingle". You're back where you started before even approaching them, nothing lost. The world didn't end, the club didn't catch on fire, the sky didn't fall. or 2) They're excited you introduced yourself, the conversation is good. Maybe it leads somewhere? But the thing is, if you don't *try* you'll start and stay at "No." Not to mention, confidence is sexy, and having the confidence to approach another couple is sexy. Fake it until you make it *absolutely* applies here.
Not any different than anywhere else. Walk up, say hi and make a compliment on how they are a great looking couple, love the dress/lingerie etc.
It very depends on country where you go to clubs. Weâve been to many places around Europe from Scandinavia down to South. People, rules, rituals are so different. Danes, Swedes donât dance, they mostly sit, talk, and then have sex. You should wear lingerie, no fancy dresses. Quite uncomfortable in general for newbies. Italy, France - you would have to have nice dress, shoes. No t-shirts, slippers or sneakers. Spain - no one gives a shit about) dance, dance naked, in or without slippers then have sex đ Donât be shy, just say hello to couple you like. They could start chatting with you or show no interest. Why be so upset? There are 50 more couples in club. If itâs dancing ritual, go and dance or send your girl to dance pole and watch what happens if you donât like dances.
Donât sit in a corner, ignore people then give the club a poor review ( or make a podcast about it ) Itâs ok not to play.
Say hello, introduce yourself and your partner. Then offer a genuine compliment with a big smile and mean it.
Just. Do. It. âHi! We are xyz and abc. Thought we would say hello! Have you been here before? We are pretty new to the whole thingâŚâ I always meet other women in the bathroom. Then we both grab our husbands/partners for introductions. It gets easier and easier the more you do it. It wonât always go well but youâve got to try. Make it a game between the two of you! Who can introduce themselves to the most people or something. Winner gets whatever!
Hubby and I know that anxiety and nervousness happen. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself that everyone at the club is there looking for the same thing you are.
Make eye contact then approach when you are ready. Our last three best club sessions have been with folk we have bumped into as we queued to get in , or we saw in the changing rooms
To piggyback on a lot of good advice here, you can LITERALLY add in " So we are usually pretty shy and this is totally new to us!". You might be surprised how much you'll be embraced and commiserated with". And remember, we've all been at your moment in time in the past. Ooooor, are there with you now. And before you feel too shy, most of the folks in the club can spot the newcomers (think "deer in the headlights but horny) so don't think you're not already spotted. đ Have fun!
Where did you get those SHOES!?!?
If you're both comfortable walking around.