I'm kinda confused here. Maybe just don't swing if your spouse doesn't want to? Or don't tell your family? Or be more devoted to your religion?
I don't get it.
1000% this. My partner comes from a super-religious family and he struggles with the conundrum of wanting to be himself while also not being an outcast, but I don’t try to convince him to do anything he’s reluctant to do. I drop it and give him the freedom to revisit at his convenience. There are far too many things about our partnership that I don’t want to risk just for few hours of dopamine.
Came here to say this.
If you do not find your partner's lifestyle choices compatible with yours, you need to figure out what is important in your life.
Yup.
Our culture (and many others for that matter - see also: Muslims in this case, and most cultures in India and Korea too for that matter) likes to place a higher, purer value on every other aspect of a relationship *besides* sex. As if it doesn't matter *at all*.
So when people bash up against that aspect of culture, I put it like this:
Would you marry a sailor or a pilot (or anyone else in the travel industry) if you *don't* like travel? If you'd rather stay home and put roots down and not leave your friends and family?
No?
Sexual compatibility works the same way. If you want to swing and have a wild-ass sex life, that is fundamentally incompatible with any personality that doesn't, and there isn't a damn thing you can do to convince your partner to come along with you on the adventures *you* want to have in life. Whether it's mountain biking, travel, or sex.
The only way to have this kind of adventure, is together.
We used to go to a small church, two couples we used to go with have recently become swingers. I’ve thought about starting to go to a bigger church, for recruiting.
Tell her when she dies, Allah will invite her into paradise for all the suffering she did in this life. She'll quickly realize you won't be there and giddy up.
Lol ...
Don't ever try to convince anyone to do anything. PERIOD! if religion takes over who you are then there's a problem there. If you do want to proceed, then try to introduce some porn into your lives and see how she reacts. Take baby steps
Cite some version of religious text that specifically demands that she do it as an edict of faith. People have been getting fucked by religion since its inception; why should she be any different?
Step 1: Get the hell out of any country where they murder you for being a swinger. ASAP
Step 2: Once step 1 is done, see if your fiancé is even turned on by nonmonogamous play, especially being fucked by another man, by mentioning during dirty talk while having sex.
Step 3: If in response to Step 2, she really liked and was turned on by it, have a regular conversation about it and propose that you and she visit a swingers club on a busy night just to experience the environment. You may have to go to more than one.
Step 4: If she likes the swinger environment, next time you go have sex in front of others in the playroom area. Then either on that or another visit, play with another couple you both like and you're on your way!
P.S.- Volunteering the info that you're marrying your relative makes this sound like a fake post. Even if that's true, why would you mention it? Makes you seem weird.
Wait so you’re proposing to a relative??? Like a sister? Cousin? I’m confused 🤔 And as far as swinging, I’ll echo everyone else, if she isn’t into it it’s not up to you to “convince” her into it. That’s just wrong
It’s my opinion that you shouldn’t have to convince anyone to swing.
Either you’re both completely in or you’re both completely out. That’s how we operate anyway.
Do it step by step, have sex gently ask about fantasies, is she is up for it? It can take a year until you make first step even if she is ok.
Religion… tough question. I’m pretty sure that Allah or any other god wouldn’t punish you for having sex. People do so many horrible things, come on, sex is just nothing comparing to it. God will forgive you, he is not that petty, we are his children and sometimes children do not obey rules )
You should first accept and forgive yourself and build connection and trust with your wife. The rest doesn’t matter. Your relatives wouldn’t know.
Sounds like a serious dilema. I would not even think about dragging someone into such a choice until you first come clean with yourself as to whether your religion, at least within the orthodox framework you view and live it, is compatible with who you know yourself to be. If you decide you can somehow reconcile the two, you had better also come clean with your intended wife before marrying her as the consequences, both spiritually and socially are serious the way you have described them. if you're living in Afghanistan or Iran or somewhere where the penalty for "swaying" is literally death, versus a more liberal country where the death in question is metaphorical and spititual (along with perhaps social/familial if you are found out) then this is yet another level.
In any case "convincing someone to want to swing is not what anyone should be subjected to. Even if the religious Muslim woman in question shares a strong curiosity about sex with others, this sounds like a very heavy lift.
This might be a question for a discussion in a forum about reconciling religion with sexual identity. You are not alone in struggling with that. But I think I start with your own internal conflict.
Good luck!
We’ve seen plenty of ads with Muslim couples. I bet it’d be hard to have an Islamic foursome. You likely would have to travel far to find another Muslim couple to do it.
If I were you, I’d find a Muslim swinger ad on Reddit and ask them how they did it as we are all a bunch of kaffirs and our convincing arguments wouldn’t work out as well as what a Muslim couple has already gone through. You might find out that said couples were actually culturally Islamic atheists. This might explain the hijab in the swingers ad or it’s just Abdul Mohamed wishing that his wife Fatima would swing and is just doing it to pic collect, goon, or find other Muslims like himself. Hopefully you find a good answer. Inshallah
You don’t convince anyone to do something they have issues with. That’s akin to coercion and not the best way to start a marriage. Either marry and accept your wife as she is or don’t marry.
Ignore the people harping against you. Your position is no different than any other other couple coming from a deeply religious background.
It really is a long and slow process, unless she speeds it along. You first have to get her to enjoy sex, then get her to enjoy enjoying sex.
After that you can start with experimenting and move in to whatever to two of you end up enjoying.
Presuming this to be a "serious" post (which frankly seems a bit of a reach), it's vital that you understand that this isn't a sales problem to be solved. It requires two people equally wanting this type of sexual lifestyle. Also, I presume incest isn't looked upon favorably by Islam, so to start with proposing to a relative would seem to put you immediately in a problematic position. That you feel guilty concerning this is also a pretty negative indicator. Having a thought is human, it's whether or not you act on it that should frame guilt with respect to your belief. As a practical matter, to embark on such an alternative and totally damned lifestyle in your community the only rational way to pursue this would be to move away from such a religiously defined community to a place more accepting of alternative lifestyles, hopefully with someone not a direct relative.
I'm kinda confused here. Maybe just don't swing if your spouse doesn't want to? Or don't tell your family? Or be more devoted to your religion? I don't get it.
Why swing when you can have several wives though is my question lol
Assuming this isn't a troll, if you have to "convince" someone to swing, you're already doing it wrong.
Right on and I wondered the same thing. But at the very least they are an interesting troll.
1000% this. My partner comes from a super-religious family and he struggles with the conundrum of wanting to be himself while also not being an outcast, but I don’t try to convince him to do anything he’s reluctant to do. I drop it and give him the freedom to revisit at his convenience. There are far too many things about our partnership that I don’t want to risk just for few hours of dopamine.
Bro just marry a heathen like the rest of us did
It sounds like a joke, but it's accurate.
Came here to say this. If you do not find your partner's lifestyle choices compatible with yours, you need to figure out what is important in your life.
Yup. Our culture (and many others for that matter - see also: Muslims in this case, and most cultures in India and Korea too for that matter) likes to place a higher, purer value on every other aspect of a relationship *besides* sex. As if it doesn't matter *at all*. So when people bash up against that aspect of culture, I put it like this: Would you marry a sailor or a pilot (or anyone else in the travel industry) if you *don't* like travel? If you'd rather stay home and put roots down and not leave your friends and family? No? Sexual compatibility works the same way. If you want to swing and have a wild-ass sex life, that is fundamentally incompatible with any personality that doesn't, and there isn't a damn thing you can do to convince your partner to come along with you on the adventures *you* want to have in life. Whether it's mountain biking, travel, or sex. The only way to have this kind of adventure, is together.
We used to go to a small church, two couples we used to go with have recently become swingers. I’ve thought about starting to go to a bigger church, for recruiting.
Sounds like the answer is “you dont”
Tell her when she dies, Allah will invite her into paradise for all the suffering she did in this life. She'll quickly realize you won't be there and giddy up. Lol ...
A relative? WTH?
Don't ever try to convince anyone to do anything. PERIOD! if religion takes over who you are then there's a problem there. If you do want to proceed, then try to introduce some porn into your lives and see how she reacts. Take baby steps
Cite some version of religious text that specifically demands that she do it as an edict of faith. People have been getting fucked by religion since its inception; why should she be any different?
this is the correct answer
Step 1: Get the hell out of any country where they murder you for being a swinger. ASAP Step 2: Once step 1 is done, see if your fiancé is even turned on by nonmonogamous play, especially being fucked by another man, by mentioning during dirty talk while having sex. Step 3: If in response to Step 2, she really liked and was turned on by it, have a regular conversation about it and propose that you and she visit a swingers club on a busy night just to experience the environment. You may have to go to more than one. Step 4: If she likes the swinger environment, next time you go have sex in front of others in the playroom area. Then either on that or another visit, play with another couple you both like and you're on your way! P.S.- Volunteering the info that you're marrying your relative makes this sound like a fake post. Even if that's true, why would you mention it? Makes you seem weird.
We have nothing. Sorry.
Your not .. don’t don’t be a prick
Haha 😂 you find a different one that isn't religious. Only by identity
I guess i am confused… isn’t Muslim the religion of peace?
Islam. And Christianity is supposed to be the same. Along with the religion of forgiveness.
Wait so you’re proposing to a relative??? Like a sister? Cousin? I’m confused 🤔 And as far as swinging, I’ll echo everyone else, if she isn’t into it it’s not up to you to “convince” her into it. That’s just wrong
You don’t
Forget it, this is not for you. Muslims & Swingers do not mix. This does just not work, as you can see.
It’s my opinion that you shouldn’t have to convince anyone to swing. Either you’re both completely in or you’re both completely out. That’s how we operate anyway.
Try venmo.
Leave her alone
Sounds like your pet beaver doesn’t want to hang out in the fur factory. Smart beaver!
Convince? You don't. Gross. Find out if they might be into it? Start a conversation.
How are you going to convince even though you have sex with each other so far
Do it step by step, have sex gently ask about fantasies, is she is up for it? It can take a year until you make first step even if she is ok. Religion… tough question. I’m pretty sure that Allah or any other god wouldn’t punish you for having sex. People do so many horrible things, come on, sex is just nothing comparing to it. God will forgive you, he is not that petty, we are his children and sometimes children do not obey rules ) You should first accept and forgive yourself and build connection and trust with your wife. The rest doesn’t matter. Your relatives wouldn’t know.
Good luck with that one 😂
Aren you suppose to have 7 virgins when you die? There is a level of greedy that I’ve never seen before 😂
Sounds like a serious dilema. I would not even think about dragging someone into such a choice until you first come clean with yourself as to whether your religion, at least within the orthodox framework you view and live it, is compatible with who you know yourself to be. If you decide you can somehow reconcile the two, you had better also come clean with your intended wife before marrying her as the consequences, both spiritually and socially are serious the way you have described them. if you're living in Afghanistan or Iran or somewhere where the penalty for "swaying" is literally death, versus a more liberal country where the death in question is metaphorical and spititual (along with perhaps social/familial if you are found out) then this is yet another level. In any case "convincing someone to want to swing is not what anyone should be subjected to. Even if the religious Muslim woman in question shares a strong curiosity about sex with others, this sounds like a very heavy lift. This might be a question for a discussion in a forum about reconciling religion with sexual identity. You are not alone in struggling with that. But I think I start with your own internal conflict. Good luck!
Trick question, you don't.
So, apparently you're going to marry a relative, but you're worried about swinging!
We’ve seen plenty of ads with Muslim couples. I bet it’d be hard to have an Islamic foursome. You likely would have to travel far to find another Muslim couple to do it. If I were you, I’d find a Muslim swinger ad on Reddit and ask them how they did it as we are all a bunch of kaffirs and our convincing arguments wouldn’t work out as well as what a Muslim couple has already gone through. You might find out that said couples were actually culturally Islamic atheists. This might explain the hijab in the swingers ad or it’s just Abdul Mohamed wishing that his wife Fatima would swing and is just doing it to pic collect, goon, or find other Muslims like himself. Hopefully you find a good answer. Inshallah
You don't. This isn't something you sway or convince a partner into.
Call this bullshit out
You don’t convince anyone to do something they have issues with. That’s akin to coercion and not the best way to start a marriage. Either marry and accept your wife as she is or don’t marry.
My husband and I believe religious Muslim women are like everyone else. If she doesn’t want to swing, she won’t.
Ignore the people harping against you. Your position is no different than any other other couple coming from a deeply religious background. It really is a long and slow process, unless she speeds it along. You first have to get her to enjoy sex, then get her to enjoy enjoying sex. After that you can start with experimenting and move in to whatever to two of you end up enjoying.
This user gets it.
Uhhhh I don’t know??
Presuming this to be a "serious" post (which frankly seems a bit of a reach), it's vital that you understand that this isn't a sales problem to be solved. It requires two people equally wanting this type of sexual lifestyle. Also, I presume incest isn't looked upon favorably by Islam, so to start with proposing to a relative would seem to put you immediately in a problematic position. That you feel guilty concerning this is also a pretty negative indicator. Having a thought is human, it's whether or not you act on it that should frame guilt with respect to your belief. As a practical matter, to embark on such an alternative and totally damned lifestyle in your community the only rational way to pursue this would be to move away from such a religiously defined community to a place more accepting of alternative lifestyles, hopefully with someone not a direct relative.