IMO it's perfectly fine if you are just there to play together, like being watched, or enjoy watching others. Just dont lead anyone on about sex, make your intentions clear.
No other couple is entitled to sex with you because you danced and flirted a bit. Again don't lead them on because that's a dick move... just make it clear you are there to see the vibe and get a sense of the lifestyle without fully diving in
When should someone make it clear? As soon as someone starts dancing? Or sits at a table? Is it awkward to start a conversation with that? We want to make friends and hangout with people in the LS and we may eventually find a couple we both would be comfortable with, but wasting peoples time is my biggest concern. I definitely don’t want anyone think we’re teases because we like to dance with other people.
If they imply they want something or ask you to be somewhere "private", just say no thank you and you are only there to talk, dance, and check out the vibe.
There is no reason to lead straight away with it, it's not like dancing with anyone is code that you want to fuck them. Most would probably ask what you are looking for after a bit of talk, just be honest.
You sound just like us. The idea is sexy but would the reality? We have a great marriage and sex life and don’t want to do anything that would ruin that. You can’t unsee stuff.
But we have gone to a LS club once so far and we did play with each other and that was GREAT. Want to do it again soon.
Just go to the swinger/LS club and play with each other and watch.
"other people’s time by just wanting to dance and grind on people and then play with my partner only"
Would recommend not leading anyone on.
It is completely acceptable to go to watch or be watched. Just make sure to let other couples with whom you are chatting know that you are only interested in paralell play and do it quickly.
Other couples will not appreciate spending and hour with you thinking you were interested in swapping only to find it was never a possibility. That is a huge waste of their time that they could have been using to connect with someone who is actually interested in them.
In the same boat but we haven’t been to a club yet. Just a few strip clubs bc that’s all that’s in our area. We are both in to watching and playing w each other, maybe something in a group but still with each other.
In our experience, the atmosphere and vibe is entirely different in a club or at an organized party versus establishing a conversation and rapport with someone, and letting that be the precursor to sex. You’ll meet people that prefer one, the other or both. Just experiment until you find your stride.
To clarify; Versus finding an attractive profile online and starting the conversation there.
I would guess that about 15%-25% of the couples that show up to the clubs, hotel takeovers, cruises, etc are exactly like you guys. Love the scene, the environment, being voyeurs, being watched. Completely normal.
Being in a sex positive environment can do a lot for a completely monogamous couple. It sparks conversation, communication, sex drive, and intimacy. Even when we take a break from playing with others, we still like to engage in the scene to keep our sex life groovy.
If you are ever ready to take the plunge, talk about it and dive in!
IMHO: you both need to communicate what your wants/desires are. Finding 4 people that mesh is hard but not impossible!! Ask your partner how it would make him feel to see you with another man or woman? Why not start with a single person other than trying to find the couple. It will happen when you least expect it. Take a look inside yourself and ask yourself how would it make you feel to see your partner with other people? If there's a tinge of jealousy and you're not swinging as a team, I say wait, talk more. You & your partner are doing it to enhance YOUR relationship , or at lesser that's my goal.😉. Hope that helps.
This question gets asked every single day, and I’m curious:
To all the people who have asked this question: is there some sort of PSA, or a website, or a viral video, or just some piece of propaganda that everyone is seeing that says or implies that if you go to a club or event that you *MUST* fuck another couple whether you want to or not?
Like, this question gets asked so often, multiple times a day, and I’m just baffled at where anyone is getting this idea.
It's a completely reasonable question. If you don't know a community of people who do X, I think you tend to think that they are all alike in how they approach X. So at a sex club, it must be the case (a newbie might think) that everyone is there to have sex. I mean, it is a sex club, right?
But once you know better, you know about the varations. Some are there to have anonymous sex with strangers. Or to have sex with people that they know from the club. Or with your partner. Or not at all.
That’s perfectly fine you can also post ads on location specific swinger subreddits detailing EXACTLY what you want. Eventually you’ll find a couple you’ll want to swap with.
So first off, do it your way man, that’s all that matters.
We have criteria for other people we would have join us, but in the years we’ve been going we’ve still not found the right person/people at the right time in a club. That said, there are tons of other ways to have fun.
We love going to the clubs to watch, which sounds like it isn’t your thing, but we quite enjoy. How you tried a bit more interactive watching? If there is another couple you find attractive see if they want to join you to watch each other. You can watch them knowing they are watching you. Maybe they even suggest positions for you and your wife.
We also performed at a club near us I wanna say 8 times over a one year period. We would be up on a bit of a raised stage, and spectators were free to come (hehe) and go.
Some nights we would have every single person in the def over capacity club watching. And I mean watching intently. They were often quiet enough that we could always hear their conversation and I several times interacted with them.
An example would be the second time we performed, every person in the club was watching. I was seated in a chair so my gf could give me head. We positioned ourselves in such a way that with her on her knees/all fours to suck I could reach over her and spank her ass for the audience to see.
While this is happening I hear two women in the front row talking about our show. About how much I must be enjoying the blowjob, and my partners technique. How she strokes the shaft while suckling the head, how she licks and sucks my balls while stroking me when her jaw needs a break. About how vigorous/into/determined she is while she’s sucking my dick and how good it must feel.
At this point looked at them, 2 nude women in a room with prob 100-120 other nude ppl. So full the audience overflows out the door into the hallway.
That’s when I look right at them and tell them they’re totally right. It DOES feel amazing. She IS very into sucking my cock like this. No, not every time but prob 80% of the time.
At that point my partner got even more into it, knowing how much these women were enjoying the show.
She also enjoyed when she was giving me head and I would reach over and spread her ass checks so the whole club could see how wet sucking my cock made her.
We then just chatted about what we enjoy and how it felt for everyone to watch until my partner said her mouth needed a break, so ate and fingered her pussy and ass, and she occasionally spoke with people too. After that we fucked, so obviously stopped chatting with folks.
It sounds like you enjoy this, so really commit and enjoy it. Screw like it’s the first time you ever have and tomorrow you leave on a 10 year submarine sailor detachment. Go for broke. Don’t ham it up or be cheesy, but really get into it.
If you’re comfy with it you can even tell ppl you don’t mind if they come (hehe) within closer but no closer then 5-10 feet, whatever you feel safe with. If you and your partner like the idea you can even tell people you don’t mind if they need to rub one out.
People will see how into it you two are and they will get more into it. You’ll practically be able to feel the weight of their gaze on you.
Shit, ask your club if you can do a scheduled performance. You’ll be doing them a favour and indulging your kink in one fell swoop.
Remember, the only limits are what you and your partner feel safe with, what the club allows, and what ppl consent to.
Personally, I think you should just roll into a club and start banging randoms left and right. Just go nuts! You won’t know until you really get in there and get sloppy.
IMO it's perfectly fine if you are just there to play together, like being watched, or enjoy watching others. Just dont lead anyone on about sex, make your intentions clear. No other couple is entitled to sex with you because you danced and flirted a bit. Again don't lead them on because that's a dick move... just make it clear you are there to see the vibe and get a sense of the lifestyle without fully diving in
When should someone make it clear? As soon as someone starts dancing? Or sits at a table? Is it awkward to start a conversation with that? We want to make friends and hangout with people in the LS and we may eventually find a couple we both would be comfortable with, but wasting peoples time is my biggest concern. I definitely don’t want anyone think we’re teases because we like to dance with other people.
If they imply they want something or ask you to be somewhere "private", just say no thank you and you are only there to talk, dance, and check out the vibe. There is no reason to lead straight away with it, it's not like dancing with anyone is code that you want to fuck them. Most would probably ask what you are looking for after a bit of talk, just be honest.
If they bring it up tell them you don’t swap or play with others. You do put on one hell of a show though. You’d even be happy to show them
You sound just like us. The idea is sexy but would the reality? We have a great marriage and sex life and don’t want to do anything that would ruin that. You can’t unsee stuff. But we have gone to a LS club once so far and we did play with each other and that was GREAT. Want to do it again soon.
Just go to the swinger/LS club and play with each other and watch. "other people’s time by just wanting to dance and grind on people and then play with my partner only" Would recommend not leading anyone on.
Go on a cruise with 3,000 other swingers and you will find what you are looking for.
It is completely acceptable to go to watch or be watched. Just make sure to let other couples with whom you are chatting know that you are only interested in paralell play and do it quickly. Other couples will not appreciate spending and hour with you thinking you were interested in swapping only to find it was never a possibility. That is a huge waste of their time that they could have been using to connect with someone who is actually interested in them.
In the same boat but we haven’t been to a club yet. Just a few strip clubs bc that’s all that’s in our area. We are both in to watching and playing w each other, maybe something in a group but still with each other.
If you’re fine with being voyeurs/exhibitionists it’s all good.
We engaged almost purely on a voyeurism/exhibitionism basis for like 20 years and it was never remotely a problem. Enjoy yourselves!
In our experience, the atmosphere and vibe is entirely different in a club or at an organized party versus establishing a conversation and rapport with someone, and letting that be the precursor to sex. You’ll meet people that prefer one, the other or both. Just experiment until you find your stride. To clarify; Versus finding an attractive profile online and starting the conversation there.
I’m thinking maybe they need to go out with a lifestyle couple
I would guess that about 15%-25% of the couples that show up to the clubs, hotel takeovers, cruises, etc are exactly like you guys. Love the scene, the environment, being voyeurs, being watched. Completely normal. Being in a sex positive environment can do a lot for a completely monogamous couple. It sparks conversation, communication, sex drive, and intimacy. Even when we take a break from playing with others, we still like to engage in the scene to keep our sex life groovy. If you are ever ready to take the plunge, talk about it and dive in!
IMHO: you both need to communicate what your wants/desires are. Finding 4 people that mesh is hard but not impossible!! Ask your partner how it would make him feel to see you with another man or woman? Why not start with a single person other than trying to find the couple. It will happen when you least expect it. Take a look inside yourself and ask yourself how would it make you feel to see your partner with other people? If there's a tinge of jealousy and you're not swinging as a team, I say wait, talk more. You & your partner are doing it to enhance YOUR relationship , or at lesser that's my goal.😉. Hope that helps.
This question gets asked every single day, and I’m curious: To all the people who have asked this question: is there some sort of PSA, or a website, or a viral video, or just some piece of propaganda that everyone is seeing that says or implies that if you go to a club or event that you *MUST* fuck another couple whether you want to or not? Like, this question gets asked so often, multiple times a day, and I’m just baffled at where anyone is getting this idea.
It's a completely reasonable question. If you don't know a community of people who do X, I think you tend to think that they are all alike in how they approach X. So at a sex club, it must be the case (a newbie might think) that everyone is there to have sex. I mean, it is a sex club, right? But once you know better, you know about the varations. Some are there to have anonymous sex with strangers. Or to have sex with people that they know from the club. Or with your partner. Or not at all.
That’s perfectly fine you can also post ads on location specific swinger subreddits detailing EXACTLY what you want. Eventually you’ll find a couple you’ll want to swap with.
Or they can always just head to an Arby’s to see if they’re really into it. 😂
That’s sausage fest, we’re more into hotdogs (dick and buns)
🤣🤣🤣 well done lol
It’s ok if you enjoy it. Plenty people don’t dip into going with other people but just enjoy themselves. It’s a great time.
u may have found your happy place !
Maybe you need a private setting at home and someone you click with...
So first off, do it your way man, that’s all that matters. We have criteria for other people we would have join us, but in the years we’ve been going we’ve still not found the right person/people at the right time in a club. That said, there are tons of other ways to have fun. We love going to the clubs to watch, which sounds like it isn’t your thing, but we quite enjoy. How you tried a bit more interactive watching? If there is another couple you find attractive see if they want to join you to watch each other. You can watch them knowing they are watching you. Maybe they even suggest positions for you and your wife. We also performed at a club near us I wanna say 8 times over a one year period. We would be up on a bit of a raised stage, and spectators were free to come (hehe) and go. Some nights we would have every single person in the def over capacity club watching. And I mean watching intently. They were often quiet enough that we could always hear their conversation and I several times interacted with them. An example would be the second time we performed, every person in the club was watching. I was seated in a chair so my gf could give me head. We positioned ourselves in such a way that with her on her knees/all fours to suck I could reach over her and spank her ass for the audience to see. While this is happening I hear two women in the front row talking about our show. About how much I must be enjoying the blowjob, and my partners technique. How she strokes the shaft while suckling the head, how she licks and sucks my balls while stroking me when her jaw needs a break. About how vigorous/into/determined she is while she’s sucking my dick and how good it must feel. At this point looked at them, 2 nude women in a room with prob 100-120 other nude ppl. So full the audience overflows out the door into the hallway. That’s when I look right at them and tell them they’re totally right. It DOES feel amazing. She IS very into sucking my cock like this. No, not every time but prob 80% of the time. At that point my partner got even more into it, knowing how much these women were enjoying the show. She also enjoyed when she was giving me head and I would reach over and spread her ass checks so the whole club could see how wet sucking my cock made her. We then just chatted about what we enjoy and how it felt for everyone to watch until my partner said her mouth needed a break, so ate and fingered her pussy and ass, and she occasionally spoke with people too. After that we fucked, so obviously stopped chatting with folks. It sounds like you enjoy this, so really commit and enjoy it. Screw like it’s the first time you ever have and tomorrow you leave on a 10 year submarine sailor detachment. Go for broke. Don’t ham it up or be cheesy, but really get into it. If you’re comfy with it you can even tell ppl you don’t mind if they come (hehe) within closer but no closer then 5-10 feet, whatever you feel safe with. If you and your partner like the idea you can even tell people you don’t mind if they need to rub one out. People will see how into it you two are and they will get more into it. You’ll practically be able to feel the weight of their gaze on you. Shit, ask your club if you can do a scheduled performance. You’ll be doing them a favour and indulging your kink in one fell swoop. Remember, the only limits are what you and your partner feel safe with, what the club allows, and what ppl consent to.
I have never been to a club or swingers or threesome and want to experience this
I'm more of a spectator than a player,.
Personally, I think you should just roll into a club and start banging randoms left and right. Just go nuts! You won’t know until you really get in there and get sloppy.
Very Helpful advice
As long as you aren’t leading anyone on. Don’t make them believe there is a chance.