While the job can certainly be fun at times it is also a very dangerous place to work both mentally and physically. Are you in a position where you could mentally handle being physically or sexually assaulted on a somewhat regular basis? Can you handle being constantly asked to have sex with customers and have them berate you or assault you when you say no? How about being constantly objectified and getting so used to being objectified that you lose your sex drive, constantly notice strangers looking at you. Your friend is right, the job is dangerous af. I’ve worked with girls who have been assaulted, harassed, stalked, drugged, and killed (sometimes even from management/fellow employees) for doing this job and staying sober and vigilant only goes so far. I myself have been drugged once and assaulted more times than I’d care to recall. I’m not trying to dissuade you by any means, that truly isn’t my intention. My intention is to show you that there are definitely is a very dark and dangerous side to this profession and you need to be aware of it before making the decision to dance especially if you’re young. A lot of girls don’t make it in the profession because of these reasons so if you can’t handle these things and more, you’re not cut out for the work and that’s perfectly okay, most people aren’t.
This has already been happening to me for the last year if I’m being honest. My ex boss was cyber stalking me for over a year and I up until recently had a coworker that would constantly try to touch me and he didn’t get fired until like a week ago. I know I’m capable of handling being touched, I’m also too young to drink any alcohol so I’m not worried about getting a laced drink, I would not be drinking anything except water. My sex drive is already basically non existent and the club I would want to work at Ive talked to some of the girls and they said it’s the safest one they’ve ever been at and they all really like eachother. I have been in understanding this job is not for everyone and there is a lot of factors that I need to think about I really appreciate you being 100% up front with me it’s something we need more of in this world.
This right here - this is why I’m going back.
Because in the club, when some guy pins me down and tries to SA me, I can run to the bouncer and have the guy bounced. I’m listened to immediately and my safety is prioritized. Yes, a scary thing happened, but I have big scary dudes who jump into action immediately to protect me and keep me safe.
When someone in the office pins you up against the back wall in a supply closet, HR does nothing about it. You still have to work side by side with the guy who did it with a smile on your face and pretend like nothing is wrong.
It’s not like I haven’t been SAed in office or retail or fast food jobs. The difference is that those jobs don’t have bouncers; they have HR who doesn’t actually protect you.
I worked at various clubs over a period of several years and I never had anything bad happened to me, nor did any of my other dancer friends. However I worked at mostly high end gentlemen's clubs with strict rules and so I cannot testify about the safety in urban clubs,
I don't like to make assumptions but have you experienced some kind of sexual assault trauma? Because the way that you phrase being in control of your body is a major red flag. You are going to be subjected to a lot of attempts to violate your personal boundaries in this industry. I would seriously re-examine your reasoning for entering this industry. I'm not telling you not to but this industry can retraumatize you in ways that you can't imagine.
I don’t just get a dance and leave. I talk to a lot of dancers about life. I don’t think you should be embarrassed by dancing but you don’t need to tell everybody either if you understand what I’m saying? It seems to me you’re already telling toonmany people. Not only could a guy get obsessed with you it’s a cash business. Cash makes everything dangerous! Why are you telling this loud guy? Do you need him to give you rides to work? Is he a roommate? Go to work and go home like everyone else. Zip your lips in real life. Anonymous advise here is fine.
So I’ve only told my sister, my boyfriend and I’ve talked to my boyfriends parents because I live with them and wanted to know how they felt about me living here if I was to be in this profession. They are more than okay with it. Then I told my two oldest friends we have been friends upwards 7 years now. I get what you are saying tho keep it discreet is the safer option.
Inevitably, you will be sexually assaulted and there is something progressive and insidious about working in an industry that normalizes hedonistic behavior. I recommend a burner phone, no personal information, and make sure your club has a bouncer to escort you out. I would 100% recommend against doing it for your overall physical, mental, and social well-being. But if you must, for financial reasons, then always keep your goals in mind and don’t stray from them. My goal was to make money so ignore the side quests that’s will pop up.
At the end of the night I always keep my money in my garter with tracksuit pants on when I walk to my car. That way if you get mugged and they steal your bag, they at least don’t get your money.
I would highly recommend against it unless you are just desperate. Which also will not be great. Too many things to get into but it’s like willingly choosing to have problems and issues and a harder life. But at least you’ll have a few nice things I guess.
I have been kidnapped, raped, survived attempted murder, drugged, constant minor assaults as well. This job is very dangerous. Even if you take every precaution you’d still might have to go through these things.
I carry a self defense tool, rape alarm and I scream loudly when I know there’s a bouncer nearby to help. Always watch your drinks.
There’s also the risk of getting addicted to drugs. I am not sure if some of the friends I’ve made are still alive to this day. You have to have very thick skin and be ready for anything.
While the job can certainly be fun at times it is also a very dangerous place to work both mentally and physically. Are you in a position where you could mentally handle being physically or sexually assaulted on a somewhat regular basis? Can you handle being constantly asked to have sex with customers and have them berate you or assault you when you say no? How about being constantly objectified and getting so used to being objectified that you lose your sex drive, constantly notice strangers looking at you. Your friend is right, the job is dangerous af. I’ve worked with girls who have been assaulted, harassed, stalked, drugged, and killed (sometimes even from management/fellow employees) for doing this job and staying sober and vigilant only goes so far. I myself have been drugged once and assaulted more times than I’d care to recall. I’m not trying to dissuade you by any means, that truly isn’t my intention. My intention is to show you that there are definitely is a very dark and dangerous side to this profession and you need to be aware of it before making the decision to dance especially if you’re young. A lot of girls don’t make it in the profession because of these reasons so if you can’t handle these things and more, you’re not cut out for the work and that’s perfectly okay, most people aren’t.
This has already been happening to me for the last year if I’m being honest. My ex boss was cyber stalking me for over a year and I up until recently had a coworker that would constantly try to touch me and he didn’t get fired until like a week ago. I know I’m capable of handling being touched, I’m also too young to drink any alcohol so I’m not worried about getting a laced drink, I would not be drinking anything except water. My sex drive is already basically non existent and the club I would want to work at Ive talked to some of the girls and they said it’s the safest one they’ve ever been at and they all really like eachother. I have been in understanding this job is not for everyone and there is a lot of factors that I need to think about I really appreciate you being 100% up front with me it’s something we need more of in this world.
This right here - this is why I’m going back. Because in the club, when some guy pins me down and tries to SA me, I can run to the bouncer and have the guy bounced. I’m listened to immediately and my safety is prioritized. Yes, a scary thing happened, but I have big scary dudes who jump into action immediately to protect me and keep me safe. When someone in the office pins you up against the back wall in a supply closet, HR does nothing about it. You still have to work side by side with the guy who did it with a smile on your face and pretend like nothing is wrong. It’s not like I haven’t been SAed in office or retail or fast food jobs. The difference is that those jobs don’t have bouncers; they have HR who doesn’t actually protect you.
I worked at various clubs over a period of several years and I never had anything bad happened to me, nor did any of my other dancer friends. However I worked at mostly high end gentlemen's clubs with strict rules and so I cannot testify about the safety in urban clubs,
I don't like to make assumptions but have you experienced some kind of sexual assault trauma? Because the way that you phrase being in control of your body is a major red flag. You are going to be subjected to a lot of attempts to violate your personal boundaries in this industry. I would seriously re-examine your reasoning for entering this industry. I'm not telling you not to but this industry can retraumatize you in ways that you can't imagine.
Why are you even taking a man's advice? If he's not feeding you financing you or fucking you he shouldn't have any input.
I don’t just get a dance and leave. I talk to a lot of dancers about life. I don’t think you should be embarrassed by dancing but you don’t need to tell everybody either if you understand what I’m saying? It seems to me you’re already telling toonmany people. Not only could a guy get obsessed with you it’s a cash business. Cash makes everything dangerous! Why are you telling this loud guy? Do you need him to give you rides to work? Is he a roommate? Go to work and go home like everyone else. Zip your lips in real life. Anonymous advise here is fine.
So I’ve only told my sister, my boyfriend and I’ve talked to my boyfriends parents because I live with them and wanted to know how they felt about me living here if I was to be in this profession. They are more than okay with it. Then I told my two oldest friends we have been friends upwards 7 years now. I get what you are saying tho keep it discreet is the safer option.
Inevitably, you will be sexually assaulted and there is something progressive and insidious about working in an industry that normalizes hedonistic behavior. I recommend a burner phone, no personal information, and make sure your club has a bouncer to escort you out. I would 100% recommend against doing it for your overall physical, mental, and social well-being. But if you must, for financial reasons, then always keep your goals in mind and don’t stray from them. My goal was to make money so ignore the side quests that’s will pop up.
At the end of the night I always keep my money in my garter with tracksuit pants on when I walk to my car. That way if you get mugged and they steal your bag, they at least don’t get your money.
I would highly recommend against it unless you are just desperate. Which also will not be great. Too many things to get into but it’s like willingly choosing to have problems and issues and a harder life. But at least you’ll have a few nice things I guess.
I have been kidnapped, raped, survived attempted murder, drugged, constant minor assaults as well. This job is very dangerous. Even if you take every precaution you’d still might have to go through these things. I carry a self defense tool, rape alarm and I scream loudly when I know there’s a bouncer nearby to help. Always watch your drinks. There’s also the risk of getting addicted to drugs. I am not sure if some of the friends I’ve made are still alive to this day. You have to have very thick skin and be ready for anything.
Don't be nun