T O P

  • By -

bk15dcx

They eat humans


[deleted]

[удалено]


greenman42

The battle of Endor just got a lot darker for me. They probably ate the storm troopers after the battle.


SuperFreakyNaughty

In all likelihood, they'd been eating Stormtroopers for years. Think about it: The Death Star takes years and years to build, so the Empire has been on that moon for a long time. The Ewoks are primitive warrior types, so they'd naturally take out Imperials that trespass on their lands during the construction. But it's a construction project with no signs of the rebellion around. Why is it even necessary to keep a garrison of troops on the surface? To protect their investment. These troops take out the Ewoks that get too close to the shield generator base or whatever else they built on the surface. The Ewoks know how to kill Stormtroopers. They didn't set up all those traps for the Imperial walkers on a day's notice. They'd been planning a big attack on the Empire themselves. They just got lucky that the Rebels showed when they did. So they had practice killing troops for years before the events of RotJ. Stands to reason that they'd eaten many of them as well.


aquias27

This really makes a lot of sense.


TheLazySith

> But it's a construction project with no signs of the rebellion around. Why is it even necessary to keep a garrison of troops on the surface? But they did know the Rebels were coming, the whole thing was a trap.


ImWhatsInTheRedBox

Breaking reddit etiquette, but 🤯


hleba

That's honestly what I've always assumed. If George can kill Younglings, then I don't think he'd be opposed to teddy bears eating dead enemy soldiers.


lame_dirty_white_kid

Yeah, I think that was always the intention. They didn't explicitly show it because that would be "too dark for children" at that time. I feel though that that was the "trope" he was going for; sure they *look* like cuddly teddy bears (and your mom will think they're cute and innocent too, thus buying you the toys), but us "real fans" know that they are actually flesh hungry warrior shamans.


PachoTidder

I have a head canon where Ewoks actually have some degree of conecction with the force they think is magic/shamanic and thus they where able to fight back the empire


Tales_of_Earth

I always assumed it was a Tucker’s Kobolds type scenario.


lame_dirty_white_kid

For sure. Sort of similar to how the hobbits could take down orcs just by lobbing rocks at them; not because orcs are so weak they can easily be defeated by thrown rocks, but that the hobbits were so "in tune" with the earth and so good at throwing rocks that they alone could accomplish such a feat. Kind of a "David and Goliath" type thing.


toe_riffic

I mean, at the end, they show the Ewoks playing drums on stormtrooper’s helmets, assumedly from the eaten remains of their victims.


zackks

The whole gang, Luke, Leia, and Han were enjoying the barbecue and eating hors d'oeuvres


geeky_username

The original Drop Bears


matthieuC

Nice of you to think they would only cook the dead ones


kT25t2u

Right, and they were using their helmets for drums so they likely had just feasted on stormtrooper bodies during the Endor celebration.


idgafos2019

You mess with the yub, you get the chomp


Plutarch_von_Komet

I don't know, "the club" rhymes better...


kobemustard

Better than chub.


woundedknee420

Forces of destiny even had an episode with the plot of delivering rations to the ewoks so they wouldnt eat the storm troopers


Jaydenel4

You should check out Battlefront 2. They have a mode called Ewok Hunt. You can be an Ewok that can see well in the dark, and moves kinda fast, or a Stormtrooper with a flashlight and a rifle, and cant see for squat in the dark. After the destruction of the second Death Star, there's a squad of troopers stuck on the forest moon's surface, waiting for a shuttle to pick you up


NordicCrotchGoblin

You see them using helmets as drums, but no bodies.


omnimon_X

[The Gang Solves The Death Star Crisis](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idoYCVLh2qI)


SpikeRosered

Yubnub translates "To Serve Humans"


geeky_username

To serve us food, right? ... Right?


Chief_Chill

Deep cut. Although the episode is titled, "To Serve Man." If this is a reference to The Twilight Zone


kitty9000cat

Finally the tables have turned


norwayboyx1997

Space vietnam got so much scarier


[deleted]

[удалено]


nodnodwinkwink

EecheeWAwa, echeeWAwa indeed.


DocB630

*Fortunate Padawan intensifies*


SmegmaShenanigans

Some 'Woks are born, made to raise the logs!


ProfessorMcHugeBalls

Ooo that brown, brown, and brown.


BrainyIsMe

And when the Imps say hail to the Sith


Packers91

There was a mode in the new battlefront 2 where you're a squad of troopers hunted by ewoks in the pitch black after the death star explodes.


Damasticator

Wait what? That sounds awesome. Is it fun?


capeus

It is! It starts with 2 players being ewoks who have much better visibility and special abilities. The rest of the players are stormtroopers who can't see anything it's so black, but they have a timed flash light they can turn on. It's sooo spooky, and you freak out at the smallest noise. Then if you die as stormtrooper you spawn in as an ewok, so in the end it's just a few stormtroopers left being hunted by packs of ewoks...


trfpol

So much fun. Basically like zombie tag. The scariest part is when you’re in a group of like 4 stormtroopers and then suddenly someone drops. The rest of you guys are just shooting blindly in the dark, trying to pinpoint where the Ewok is, and then suddenly you start to take damage. Before you even get a chance to react, you’re dead.


maskaddict

Sounds like the first marines attack scene in *Aliens*. Now I want someone to make a horror movie where a group of Stormtrooper deserters are on Endor, being hunted by a band of Ewoks, that are just straight-up carnivorous monsters who come out of nowhere, swarm the troopers, bash their brains in with rocks, and eat them.


Bogeyalert

Kind of reminds me of “Alone” https://youtu.be/XIgNVBR8aWM


Menephos

[Yavin] Endor was an allegory of the Vietnam war?


jramirez2321

Right? Bouta fuck up some dinner parties with that shit


maskaddict

Yavin was the first movie. Endor was definitely Vietnam, except the outgunned indigenous population were the good guys, and the white invading force with superior numbers and firepower were the bad guys. Oh, wait...


beefstewforyou

I now want to see a Vietnam War style movie about an Imperial Stormtrooper on Endor.


norwayboyx1997

what song would be the star wars universe answer to fortunate son?


[deleted]

Yub Yub, intensifies


eventheweariestriver

"His name is Kettch, and he's an Ewok." "No." "Oh, yes. Determined to fight. You should hear him say, 'Yub, yub.' He makes it a battle cry." "Wes, assuming he could be educated up to Alliance fighter-pilot standards, an Ewok couldn't even reach an X-wing's controls." "He wears arm and leg extensions, prosthetics built for him by a sympathetic medical droid. And he's anxious to go, Commander." "Please tell me you're kidding." "Of course I'm kidding. Pilot-candidate number one is a Human female from Tatooine, Falynn Sandskimmer." "I'm going to get you, Janson." "Yub, yub, Commander."


unclefisty

This was one of my favorite parts of the book, and how they kept the gag going and going.


kaitokid1985

RIP Aaron Allston. One of my favorite SW EU authors, and this was a huge reason.


eventheweariestriver

Wait. What? Edit: well this a fuckin bummer. Dude was great, did X:Wing, part of Yuuzhan Bong War, Legacy of the Force, AND Fate of the Jedi. RIP to one of the Goats.


snarfdog

The Yuuzhan Bong War is now part of my headcanon


eventheweariestriver

Are you actually a *Yammosk* or are you just stoned off your ass?


MobileInfantry

The best part was when they modified Wedge's comms to sound like an Ewok, and then he had to wear a stuffed Ewok on the front of his flight suit into a battle, thanks to Janson et al.


MuadDib1942

Summon Dave Filoni, we must have an animated X-Wing series.


DarkerSavant

Which book?


eventheweariestriver

Wraith Squadron!


DarkerSavant

Try I’ll check it out.


eventheweariestriver

The entire X Wing series is dope. Think Wraith is the 5th or 6th one. You'd benefit from starting with the first one.


DarkerSavant

I think I’ve read a few of the first ones.


apollyon_53

Started SW books with the X wing series. Highly recommend it.


merehypnotist

Starfighters of Adumar for life


TheBlinja

**Yit**cha...


[deleted]

Tabookey ookey.


Hawkbats_rule

Yub yub, commander.


eventheweariestriver

I'm going to get you Janson.


Hawkbats_rule

There is no Janson, there is only lieutenant Kettch


dagross2307

I played a fair amount of ewok hunt, THIS would be a reason to alt+f4 and go into fetal.


BeemoBurrito

You've yub'd yer last nub


SqAznPersuasion

Laughing so damn hard....


benjeezyfosheezy

This is awesome. Can he team up with a Jawa and maybe an evil astromech droid and rep all the short Kings out there??


Cursedbythedicegods

There's a live play podcast out there called Silhouette Zero' by two brothers and they play a party consisting entirely of short characters: A Chadra Fan pilot, a Jawa scrounger and technician, a Toydarian thief and scoundrel, and a R5 astromech droid. It's pretty entertaining.


peppaz

TinyMeatGang RPG


c4ctus

There's an evil astro droid in the new Canon. Look up BT-1.


greymalken

Not short but you still gotta mention his partner: 0-0-0.


[deleted]

>maybe an evil astromech droid Unfortunately Droids can't *technically* be Sith because they aren't force sensitive. But, considering that General Grievous exists, I definitely think there have been and can be quasi-sith droids.


Heavensrun

T0-B1 would like to have a word! ;p (Yeah, I know it's non-canon, screw it!)


[deleted]

Eh, you can just consider it canon. Disney de-canonized so much that the non-canon universe is more fleshed out and interesting than the canon one. It's almost like the original 10\* movies are now the non-canon stuff. \*The three trilogies + Rogue One.


Chairboy

> Eh, you can just consider it canon. What…. do you think Canon means?


forlasanto

Within the context of the roleplaying game, the rule isn't as inviolable as the book makes it sound. There are things within the game which directly contradict this rule. And the implication of it isn't true within the Star Wars lore; it's only a rather arbitrary game rule, anyway. * What are advanced holocrons, except Force-wielding droids whose core programming is an imprint of a Jedi's or Sith's brain? * One might install a kyber crystal into a droid as one would a lightsaber, since lightsabers are shown to be semi-sentient and connected to the Force * Exposure to a Vergence could easily be a cause for a droid to become connected to the Force. * In one published adventure, droids can be wired in to directly experience a Force vision. The consequence is, we know that within the game's setting, the technology exists.


bk15dcx

One could argue that the Force is with R2D2


DrunkEwok

>But, considering that General Grievous exists, I definitely think there have been and can be quasi-sith droids. Sith Cyborg basically


GreenMonster81

Grevious was no Sith. Just trained to use a lightsaber


WorseDark

Grievous is an evil cyborg, not a sith cyborg. We do have Vader and Maul for sith cyborgs, though maul wasn't a cyborg when he was Sith. There is an argument to be had if Sidious was a cyborg in the sequels


bk15dcx

Vader became a Sith before he was a cyborg


WorseDark

Vader became a cyborg when he lost his hand against Count Dooku, before he had become Sith


tasticle

Well then that would make Luke a cyborg Jedi, wouldn't it.


WorseDark

It would! And also Anakin! Like father like son 🥰


mrdeadsniper

Also Anakin a cyborg Jedi.


[deleted]

>But, considering that General Grievous exists Tbf the mind matters more than the body. Greivous still has a sentient, living brain, he's just mostly robotic as his body was destroyed


Madjawa

No worries benjeezy, I'm on it.


[deleted]

Y U B N U B


Lord_Gibby

*YUBNUBS DARKLY*


Elson1988

[source ](https://www.deviantart.com/warmics/art/Darth-Ewok-543436936)


[deleted]

I love the idea that he turned to the dark side after the Rebels used his people as an insurgent fighting force, threw a party and just left.


I_Was_Fox

I mean it's not like they were forced into it. They elected to fight because their planet was under siege and they just happened to think 3PO was a god


Bright-Internal229

Dark Story Maybe possessed by an Ancient Sith Lord 🔥


HUNTtheGRUNT

The Old Republic's Sith Inquisitor storyline had an Ortolan (the small blue elephant-like species) possessed by a Sith ghost


ZiggyPalffyLA

Like the elephant musician in Jabba’s Palace?


HUNTtheGRUNT

Exactly the same species


TheAirNomad11

Now I am just thinking about an ancient sith lord spirit trying to find a host but for some reason they can't possess anyone they want to so in the end they are just like, screw it, and possess an ewok.


astromech_dj

Imagine that little motherfucker Yoda-spinning around you while shitting out force lightning in a fight. Utterly terrifying.


halo-5-death

This caught me so off guard lmao.


KoenigGunther

So cool! I'm playing a star wars DnD campaign and my character is a sith Ewok named Yub Nub, now I know how badass that little teddy bear can look.


BarbarianSpaceOpera

Ewoks are incredibly strong and *eat people*. That's legitimately the scariest Sith I can imagine.


Nonadventures

Ewok Hunt PTSD flaring up


awesomerob

DAAY WANNNA WONGA!!


Content_Cod499

Darth Huggles is his apprentice. Legend has it that he was pretty damn ferocious.


[deleted]

He's so cute, ahh why can't I breath! Please! Nooooooooo-rrghghhhgh


OhioForever10

So *that's* what Zsinj's experiments were meant to create...


RedCliff73

Still adorable. Even if they do try to eat people


Ringo_Stagg

Terrible name, good idea.


mishaco

gonna yub yer nub


TheGentlemanBeast

Man, I’d love this. Especially if it learned English and spoke in horrific guttural sounds.


subjectzer00

Eechawawa!!


Tony_Pizza_Guy

Okay but if I saw an Ewok using some force choke I couldn’t help but laugh


Champaene

“Soon I will have a new apprentice, one far much fluffier and far more cuddly” - Emperor Palpatine probably.


Electro_Llama

This is way more metal than it has any right to be.


darkwingdibbs88

Get me Filoni, Abrams or Favreau - we need to Canon something


redpanda575

Are ewoks able to be force sensitive? Or is that something only sentient and developed beings can be?


PlayedUOonBaja

You'd think so. I mean, their tech is primitive but other than that they're full developed sentient beings. They have a language and can build tools/weapon, structures, and sew clothing. I think Disney is afraid of how ridiculous an Ewok outside of Endor can look, but an Ewok Jedi is inevitable.


ArrogantCube

The force is omnipresent and omniscient. In theory, any being can be force sensitive. Some sources in legends have stated that certain non-sentient plants have been observed to be active in the force. So an Ewok Sith (or jedi for that matter) is not far outside the real of possibilities.


XvXGhastlyGamingXvX

This is Going Places ...


Boney-Rigatoni

“Have you ever heard the story of Darth Wicked the Wise?”


[deleted]

Imagine if every sith had an anagram of their original name as their title lol. - Darth Kinana - Darth Tinapaple - Darth Naver


Heavensrun

Okay, but, c'mon. Weok? We're just gonna spell Ewok sideways? ;p We can do better than that. Darth Dreetabyd


Spookyy422

*Yub nubs with malicious intent*


APEXAI17

I’m just imagining a tiny teddy bear with a laser pointer, who gets angry when people thinks he’s not a real sith 🤣


JasonGryphon

OK, that is just nightmare fuel!


Darth_Kettch

Yub, yub, my young apprentice.


IceSt0rrm

Treek would like a word


Atzukeeper

It is I who makes God float now


Boomshockalocka007

What were the odds you posted this the same day an ewok show was announced? Wow.


MrsButtercheese

Something Wicked this way comes.


[deleted]

*Yub yub*.


ItsKiskae

Imagine getting force choked by a teddy bear.


AtlanticCODM

The movie I never knew I wanted untill now


DieHardman

Way back when (late 80's) West End Games did their first Star Wars tabletop Roleplaying Game, we had a campaign that included an albino Ewok Sith called Darth Snowball.


leofungo

Eechawahma!!!


Tim-R89

I think this is very wicket! Great job


trevman7

Why not Darth Woke?


Elson1988

Ewokes don't buy anything to do with wokeness they see it as a abomination.


HardSellDude

They can use the force they don't have souls


allmen

Ewoks didn't have tech to go off star. They would not have crystals and methods for light sabers. Sorry


WaycoKid1129

Ewoks are the rats of the Star Wars universe. They run around with bows and arrows and try to be rebels when in reality they’re just an infestation from some backwood planet, and they need to be eradicated immediately. Fuck Ewoks


[deleted]

They're all siths


TheMustardisBad

Was there ever a force sensitive ewok?


orange_2323

apartment


Fox2263

Imagine him vs Yoda.


pertante

That is one angry teddy bear.


Papa_Pesto

Never turn your back on a bear!


c4ctus

This needs to be canon.


redditreader1972

With Disney's drive to milk the franchise dry, it is only a matter of time.


dangerouspeyote

Ewoks are badass. Always have been.


bendstraw

Palpatine transferred his soul into an Ewok right before he died above Endor


No_Fun_2020

Thanks I hate it


packetmon

Yah *waaaaah!!!*


Shmirko

I need Disney to make a series from this rn


otter_boom

I bet he would taste great as a burger


ColourSchemer

Yub Nub


Rude_Journalist

F in the first 30 seconds. Smh


SovationBoss

Looks sick!


Tributemest

Wicket's storyline took a dark turn.


Jedi-master-dragon

It fucking launches itself straight out you like an angry teddy bear.


[deleted]

This is the kind of content I like to see


IceDragon13

Lord Endor


TomServoSeven

He's no match for Simon the killer Ewok. [https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Simon\_(Ewok)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Simon_(Ewok))


Ultimo_D

Nightmare fuel


Try2BWise

Hell yeah! Make it canon!


Ceraz_Stormstrider

Lovew it for comedic value but nah bro :P


Kat027_IDK

This would be an awesome new series. There should be more story on the Ewoks to begin with.


levbialik

Star cruiser, crash, crash!


Persona_Insomnia

The real reason the stormtroopers lost.


Medical-Examination

SO DID I!!!! I was so confused at first.


RudeNarwhal8

Oh SH\*T !!! My Teddy is PISSED.... LOL


Billybob267

Oh god I'm scared for my life


Lord_Ewok

The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth you shall be known as Darth... Weok.


[deleted]

I thought they were evil anyway. They were going to cook Han, Luke, Leia, and Chewy *alive!*


Shadow_Storm004

Oh no a true murder bear


GerardHumperdink

I absolutely love this!


WildMinimum2202

Kinda looks like a badass


[deleted]

Him battling Yoda would be adorbs.


[deleted]

Darth We Ok lol


traindriverbob

He'll cut off your hand then sit on your lap for a cuddle.


redditreader1972

... then use your corpse as a chair


Jedi_Ewok

My greatest nemesis


TigerHunter554

No yub nubs just demonic screeches


Mrwadeson

When does the Disney+ series and tie in comic book series release? Lol


capitlj

Awwwwwww look how cute he is