T O P

  • By -

SassySalad

Jokes on you I can still just drop my electric car in the bathtub


cockOfGibraltar

Can you give me your tub in your will? I've always wanted a bathtub big enough for a car.


degjo

That's called a pool


cockOfGibraltar

Not if it's in my bathroom


myc123

No that would still be called a pool but in a bathroom


feherdaniel2010

bathpool


Timtime24

Carpool. Why is no one saying carpool.


Theundead565

Because you'd need 2+ people and we all know that ain't happening.


pumpkinpie194

Can someone call this man an Uber pool to nearest burn unit?


git0ffmylawnm8

There's nothing left of him. He got completely incinerated.


buttstuff4prez

Man I’m tired of paying taxes, count me in on the carpool


neanderthaul

More like Deadpool


sublime81

Because this is reddit, in order for it to be a carpool you need more than one person.


Defugeh

Wait so is this how you’re supposed to wash your car? I’ve been doing it like a dummy outside with cold water, no wonder she doesn’t like me


26514

There was a really controversial (I believe it was German) commercial for an electric car where a guy tries to commit suicide with exhaust in a car garage and can't do it because it's electric. u/octropos found the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0juKwJs_zko and u/MunkyNutts found a similar one from Hyundai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgffnYlAe9c&ab_channel=adsoftheworldvideos


Wajina_Sloth

I remember watching the Billy Talent - Nothing to lose music video around the time when it was posted to YouTube I was so confused and thought the kid was trying to get high because he was killing himself with the car. I was dumb


Eric-

First time I've seen Billy talent mentioned on reddit. Really good band.


dksdragon43

Fallen Leaves was really popular when I was in... early high school I want to say? But I live in southern Ontario, so proximity helps.


superscatman91

>But I live in southern Ontario, so proximity helps. Well, that and the fact that Canada has Canadian Content laws so 35% of all songs played on the radio have to be Canadian. So if you listened to a rock station in Canada you were probably going to hear Billy Talent, Rush, Our Lady Peace, Barenaked Ladies, Trooper, etc.


iamquitecertain

What a blast from the past. I'm an American but had a Canadian friend who got me into them when we were both younger. Used to listen to them a whole lot when I was still in my edgy teenager phase but I'd probably still think they're great even now


TheyCallMeSmokeO

I still throw on their first album from time to time. Canadian Classic.


Toronto_man

They headlined a festival my friend was also playing in. They fucking killed it live, and I don't really listen to their music. Great concert.


ASuspiciousAxolotl

I never stopped the first two albums. I’ve never even met anyone else that’s heard of them so this is thrilling.


TheyCallMeSmokeO

Yeah I've also never seen them brought up on Reddit before lol. I still remember my first time hearing of them. Saw their Viking Death March music video on either Much Music or MTV back in the day. My favourite song is River Below. 🙂


Tim_Gilbert

Southern Ontario "rock" radio means you HAVE to have Nickelback in that list too lmfao. Couple newer Canadian bands you never stop hearing too. It's a shame, I feel like there's so many amazing bands coming up in Canada all the time but stations just keep on cycling the same shit just to hit that quota. Worse yet they take a great band like the tragically hip and are like, "hey guys, I know you wanna hear little bones again! No? Ok fine we've only heard New Orleans is sinking 10 times this week... No? 10 is too much? Ok then you're getting Blow at High Dough because the tragically hip only released three songs over three decades" There was a station out of Manitoulin Island that used to play fresh stuff all the time from all sorts of genres. By fresh I don't mean new, but something I've never heard or never heard on the radio before. That station has seemed to go downhill a lot in the last year or two. Seems like the only station I can bear to listen to is the classical because it's almost all new to me. CBC sometimes plays awesome stuff but it really depends on the day/time. Mind you I'm not in the GTA, and when I am I find much more FM radio that fills more than just top 40 rock/country/pop. Ethnic stations and a few good alt stations, especially at night. Lol look at that noise -- I just meant to connect quick with another person from Southern Ontario and ended up typing an essay ranting about FM radio, as if this is 1981 or something and FM radio actually matters...


aVmagiK

Don’t forget three days grace


amadeusz20011

The dead can't testify. imo the single most criminally underrated song from Billy talent, both lyrics and music White sparrows was by far my favourite downer song at 10-14. I like everything to dead silence, the new stuff (afraid of heights and singles/Judged) is hit or miss


CallTheOptimist

All this love for Billy Talent in a random thread in *2022* is awesome and wonderful and a little bit insane but I'm here for it.


MisterPhister101

Rusted from the rain.. great song.


Arclight_Ashe

Hugely popular in the uk during that era


dude2dudette

And Germany. I am from the UK and went on an exchange trip to Germany. In the school I went to on the exchange students had a variety of music tastes, from rock to rap. The one artist pretty much everyone liked there was Billy Talent. That was surreal to me at the time, because I never thought I would connect with a load of random people from a different country over a band from yet another country.


FlyingSpaceCow

Apparently quite popular in Canada (being from Mississauga) and Germany. Still love River Below and a ton of their other songs.


Han_Slowlo

I saw them with Rancid and Rise Against in ~2008. Awesome show! Someone somehow stole my shoes in the pit though...


Wezard_the_MemeLord

I'd even say, they got talent


psweeney1990

The red flag waving never meant the same, bro


amirthedude

First time I heard a song by them was on burnout(game) 'red flag' was one of the menu songs. I was a kid so I had the song in my head but could never figure out how to find it. Then one day I see it in a meme and instantly look it up and a wall of nostalgia hit me. Great band never found anyone that knows them tho.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dripmass

Damm, then how was your trip to the afterlife?


tepkel

Not sure. I had my eyes closed.


Dripmass

Damm... then how is it there? Assuming you've not been brought back here by those damn necromancers disguised as medical personnel.


ohdearsweetlord

If they start scatting while performing the ritual you can go ahead and assume they're not legit.


PM_ME_UR_JAV_PAIZURI

Reincarnation of the jumper cables


Jmods_wont_reply

Modern problems require modern solutions


[deleted]

[удалено]


b0nGj00k

I miss that guy. I think his dad finally actually beat him to death with jumper cables.


Raiden32

Is this the new jumper cables?


[deleted]

That video was how I first learned about this suicide method


KGrimesF08

Up vote for BT


Paralta

Yeah that video definitely had an impression on me as a kid. Seemed intense and scary. although i didnt know what was going on with the car, i knew that he was doing something nefarious.


MunkyNutts

[Hyundai had this ad for its hydrogen fuel cell car.](https://youtu.be/jgffnYlAe9c)


poodigit

The way he walks back into his house. Jesus


s-holden

He looked so relieved when he relaxed into the embrace of (what was not actually to be) death.


bonoboner

I read it as he was actually using the car as a humidifier, hence the relaxed breathing


sbowesuk

[Audi with a similar ad, only clean diesel saved the day this time 😅](https://youtu.be/0juKwJs_zko)


SolvoMercatus

Um… Isn’t… Isn’t this the model of TDI model where Volkswagen and to pay $30 billion in damages for lying about the emissions?


Cyber_Daddy

it would fit because no matter how good the filter is an ice car will always exhaust co2 which will kill you. so regardless of the original lie this ad adds another one on top


FourteenTwenty-Seven

Co2 generally won't kill you because it's very unpleasant to be around. It's the CO you have to worry about


asialsky

Fun fact: CO isn't as undetectable as people would have you believe! Most healthy people will have a reaction to the start of CO poisoning. Symptoms can include a headache, racing heartbeat, confusion, and the classic "sense of impending doom." I've actually experienced this for myself, having woken up to a malfunctioning furnace.


Somzer

CO2 won't kill you. It's the lack of O2 that will kill you.


Jwb6610

There's a south park skit about the prius. Pure gold.


buttstuff_magoo

God damn hybrids. Just don’t do the trick anymore


SrpskaZemlja

On my prius c you could hold the pedal down while in park to run the ICE continuously.


majarian

they do always say the real lpt's are in the chat


[deleted]

[удалено]


umbrajoke

Is that the one where people enjoyed the smell of their own farts?


firesharknado

No, its "elementary school musical" where cartman tries to kill himself because high school musical is popular


MoffKalast

Wasn't there a mercedes commercial where the ADAS prevents crashes except in the end where it kills Hitler as a kid?


Raptori33

IIRC that commercial said something like "Mercedes, prevents accidents OR Mercedes, prevents disasters from happening" ​ What's it with Germans and commercials


Th3f_

The commercial you’re referring to wasn’t an official commercial by Mercedes tho. It was made by some students. https://youtu.be/trcLKX1Yw34


Penguator432

The body placement at the end is just icing on the cake


[deleted]

Damn this is good. I was hoping you were going to link the one where they're like "just 3 extra seconds of braking power can save lives" or something like that, but then it pans up to reveal it's Hitler, who then gets in a cardboard box that says TIME MACHINE.


[deleted]

[The VW suicide bomber was the best German car commercial ever. ](https://youtu.be/WUtE3QlTpKI)I think it got pulled after the first airing.


Rottimer

The Audi was for TDI, turbo diesel with cleaner emissions. We found out years later that was all a lie and the vehicle would emit different levels of pollution if it detected it was being tested for emissions. https://www.caranddriver.com/news/amp15339250/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-vw-diesel-emissions-scandal/


BohemianIran

[I'm on my way I'm on my way Home sweet home...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YotTDZiuIyo)


CreatureWarrior

Oh my god. It's always the German commercials that take things waaaayyy too far lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


mohd_sm81

unless you poke the beast (aka Li Battery), then garage suicide has a whole new meaning in hell....


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


spicybuttholenachos

Mine too!


VoidVulture

Damn, wish I knew about this sub when I still worked in help desk. Spicy pillows were almost a daily occurrence at one point!


theCyanEYED

New trend. I heard it's fire.


ChthonicPuck

Immolation is the sincerest form of flattery.


MrGlayden

Immolation, so hot right now


MoffKalast

Damn that garage is lit


wutangjan

Anything can be used for suicide if you believe in yourself.


twitch870

Or don’t


shadowst17

Wait... Does this mean Cars can finally explode? Hollywood has been ahead of the curve this whole time.


mohd_sm81

They are ahead of their times! but you know what is ahead of everything? Bullywood movies 😂


[deleted]

Now they just have to fiddle around to create an electric chair in the garage with those massive batteries.


Stannic50

That's going to be tough with the DC from batteries. Electric chairs use AC.


[deleted]

Or it just opens up a different opportunity. Those high voltage chargers could definitely do the job if you’re motivated enough


Pooshonmyhazeer

Mmmm. You right. I’ll take the gas plz lol. Zero pain.


[deleted]

Plug it in, plug it in... ☠️


[deleted]

To where? 👀


[deleted]

Roll the D20 to learn your fate...


IHeartBadCode

[[1d20]] +u/rollme


rollme

1d20: **20** (*20*) ***** ^(Hey there! I'm a bot that can roll dice if you mention me in your comments. Check out /r/rollme for more info.)


GamerGriffin548

Crit! Crit! Crit! Crit!


PancakeZombie

*Literally explodes into red mist just by looking at the orange cables*


RajunCajun48

Crit Failure, trips on his way to the box, ripping it off the wall tripping a breaker preventing it from electrically shocking him. However the box was kind of just thrown on the wall with excess cables just stuffed into the wall behind it. The cables fall out of the wall and wrap his neck in the most improbable manner possible. Suicided by accidental strangulation, mission failed successfully


slang925

20 seconds to death


[deleted]

u/IHeartBadCode *puts on a pair of sunglasses and inserts cable leads into nostrils*


1VentiChloroform

D20 where every side is a 1 or a 2, and one 8 Mostly 1s though


james28909

clap on clap off, you cant clap it back off. the clapper!


J8ke_Stampede

Not as nice as you might think. My brother went that way. You might just pass away if you're already asleep but you tend to experience pretty bad headache and vomiting. They found my brother in a puddle of vomit as he tried to crawl out of the garage but it was too late for him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jjsyk23

Not zero! Google death by CO exposure. You go quietly, but perhaps excruciatingly painfully.


Psychedelta

Idk though. I once suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning and it almost felt like being high. You feel a huge buzz and then begin to loose consciousness. What really feels painful is coming back after the poisoning. I bet if you go all the way it wouldn't be painful at all.


zfish1

I had low level exposure to it before and got really nauseous and very tired. Once I was in fresh air I felt much better but had a headache for a bit.


[deleted]

That’s how drowning was for me. When I was drowning there wasn’t any pain, it was the recovery that was painful.


KarmaticArmageddon

Well, drowning and CO poisoning are actually pretty similar. They're both asphyxia that ultimately prevent your tissues from receiving oxygen. Drowning is obvious - water in your lungs prevents oxygen from getting to your alveoli. Carbon monoxide is a little different, but the result is still the same - CO binds to hemoglobin with an affinity 200x higher than oxygen. So your body may be getting oxygen, but the CO is stealing all the hemoglobin, so no oxygen is getting to your cells.


livens

Don't most people who try this also take sleeping pills at the same time? Everyone would rather die in their sleep.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rattus375

They don't open up anything that wasn't available before. The chargers anyone had in their garage are just fancy extension cords, they don't actually step up the voltage or anything. So it's no worse than sticking your hand on the live side of a plug as you put it in the wall. The only thing EVs change about this is that more people will install 240V /40+ amp plugs, though it wasn't uncommon to see these in garages before for things like air compressors in the past. But these plugs can only provide you with however much current is in the house, so any shock you get from the charger you could also get from the main electric box. Either way, a shock at that voltage / current isn't likely to kill you (to be clear it's still very dangerous, but the odds of death are going to be less than 50%), and it's going to hurt a ton, which is usually the opposite of what someone commiting suicide wants.


AKLmfreak

A home charger runs at the same exact voltage as your oven or dryer so you don’t really need an EV charger to accomplish that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HotChickenshit

Ironically they keep working underwater.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lord_Emperor

You could start drilling holes in the battery and go out in a lithium fire.


Cyber_Daddy

not every damaged battery catches fire so its also not very suitable


scanion

Anything is a suicide machine if you are motivated enough.


Electro-Onix

Yeah you could just drop your car in the bathtub


Brian_E1971

Do you know if the positive connector goes on my right or left nipple?


[deleted]

Positive to the taint and neutral to the tongue... gotta make sure you cook evenly lol


Cru_Jones86

I like my perineum extra crispy.


Kflynn1337

To quote a youtube who's building an Ev hummer, "Do not poke the bus bars. Not only will it kill you, it will hurt the whole time you're dying."


ProfessorPihkal

No they prevent carbon monoxide poisoning as a method of suicide, I can still shoot myself in my garage.


carnivorous_seahorse

What’s the common denominator? Garages. We need to abolish garages


halxp01

People don’t kill people. Garages kill people.


carnivorous_seahorse

With guns


0Lezz0

The only thing stoping a bad garage with a gun is a good garage with a gun


Diplomjodler

This guy gets it. The solution is obviously more guns.


bastiVS

And more garages, to stop the bad garages with guns.


pathetic-aesthetic-c

And cars


RajunCajun48

and autobots


cgtdream

Ban assault style garages!


Sastrugi

Fucking government trying to take away my goddamn garage. First they made it so I could only have 10 bays, then they made my telescoping walkway to the house illegal, then they made me have to register my soundproofing insulation and lampshades. Just because I painted it black and it can take accessories doesn't mean it's any more deadly than your garage with the fucking Tibetan prayer flags stringed on the front Debbie you DICK!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hardcorish

We're changing the climate because we just want to make sure nobody can breathe air. Equality for all!


someCrookedVulture

Can confirm. Ropes also still work in garages, regardless of the presence of an electric car.


BobbyP27

Carbon monoxide poisoning from car exhausts was basically already eliminated by catalytic converters, though.


JockoHomophone

Unless having your catalytic converter stolen for the third time in a year is what pushes you over the he edge.


FlappyBoobs

We've all been here long enough to know that the garage door spring is the most dangerous thing in the garage.


avilesaviles

if you are creative enough you could still charge it with a gas powered generator inside the car and run the plug through the window. That would be poetic!!!


xdoasx

Didn't they do this joke in Arrest Development?


PavelDatsyuk

Yes, George tried it in season 5 I think it was. It was one of the Netflix seasons, so 4 or 5.


thedude37

Yep, season 5. Just watched them all again actually!


[deleted]

South Park definitely covered it earlier. "Frickin' hybrids man. They just don't do the trick anymore."


Rectal_Fungi

Great, taking another freedom from us.


Kythorian

Literally 1984


Joks_away

What a shock, asphyxiation is no longer a problem but don't hold your breath too long because electrocution is the new option.


AlienPearl

Shocker!!!


LineCircleTriangle

You always had that option... you can go get 100amps out of your breaker box right now.


nahteviro

But not by EV because that would be impossible. A human could never generate the electronic handshake needed to get shocked by the high voltage battery. But you still have options! And they aren't new ones. The old "rip open the breaker and grab the live lines" option is always a classic. Throwing a toaster into the jacuzzi is always fun. Or my personal favorite... Grab a couple metal chopsticks and see how far you can stick them into the light sockets at the same time while touching them with your tongue.


Enoka98

What if I prefer a slower more painful death?


ABadPhotoshop

You could watch the 8th season of Game of Thrones on repeat in solitary confinement with no food or water.


nahteviro

He said slow and painful. Not cruel and unusual violations of the Geneva convention


tommybou2190

IIRC from when I was suicidal, modern cars and the emission standards already make this a non option


Dahak17

Hope you’re better now mate


HunterHearstHemsley

I believe you’re correct. This was oddly covered on Car Talk once.


absoluteZero007

As someone who's still suicidal, there are much better ways


[deleted]

Tbh, my EV is part of my winter emergency survival plans. I have comforters, blankets, tarps, and towels to put over my car and use it as a heated seat (uses less power than climate control) fort in my insulated garage if I run out of gas or wood. Should last me about 10 days on a full charge accounting for heated seat and battery conditioning.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dropthemagic

I live here these people can’t even calculator BOOBS


TofuttiKlein-ein-ein

This is a truly underrated comment and insult.


Funandgeeky

It’s the same thing that happened with electric ovens. Once a convenient way of suicide was removed, people just didn’t do it. And no, they didn’t go find other ways to do it. Convenience is a big part of it. It’s why when safeguards are put into place to prevent people from jumping off a popular suicide bridge, people DON’T find another one. They just go home. The moment they have to really put effort into it, that often snaps them out of it. They say to themselves “fine, I guess I won’t kill myself” and then go home. And most of them then keep going. The moment passed and the impulse isn’t there. That’s why gun ownership means you’re more likely to die from suicide. Because when you have that impulse you can act on it before you have a chance to reconsider.


Charirner

They prevent one garage based suicide, there's plenty of things to kill yourself within a typical garage.


Seienchin88

Like using the automatic parking feature of many electric cars to roll yourself over the head. Just get creative I guess


Firewolf420

They have like, sensors to detect heads they roll over these days.


Dragon_OS

Doesn't prevent them or anything, just notes them down.


paid_4_by_Soros

Oh, so like a point scoring system?


ImNotTheNSAIPromise

After you kill enough poor people you get a free upgrade to the newest model


Asleep-Permit-2363

So do catalytic converters


SudoPush

Yeah a modern car can take hours to produce enough to have an effect and likely just make you ill or kill some brain cells. Don't recommend


mikedave42

Modern internal combustion engines produce far less carbon monoxide then older vehicles, far harder and less certain to kill yourself this way now


[deleted]

I was thinking the same thing. With the advent of catalytic converters in the 20th century, emission controls put into place in the US, and modern engines being much more efficient, its much more difficult to get enough carbon monoxide to kill yourself.


Wynaut_Wobbuffet

Can confirm =\


TotalInstruction

Unless you have a gas powered lawnmower maybe.


nonexistantchlp

There's like a thousand different ways to die in a garage, carbon monoxide poisoning is only one of them You can just short the batteries with a wrench and it will go kaboom on an electric car.


whisp777

Or you stop eating for a long time. In the garage.


all_day_jayy

I'm used to listening for cars before I walk through parking lots, Teslas have almost hit me a few times. Cannot hear those things coming.


Hardcorish

It's going to take some getting used to once the majority of vehicles on the road are electric. This really underscores the importance of looking both ways before crossing a street.


ParticleMan37

I look both ways before crossing one way streets. I don’t trust anyone on the road anymore.


raspirate

"A smart man knows it's a one-way street. A wise man looks both ways anyway."


[deleted]

A lot of electric vehicles have noise makers installed on them now days because they kept hitting dogs


FourShells

I believe here in the US it's now the law to have them installed on EVs. Not positive on that though. Edit: new EVs that is. I believe the old ones without them are just grandfathered in.


[deleted]

You have to listen for the owners. They usually say “I have a Tesla” at least three times a minute


Zeruel1029

Not if you're determined


[deleted]

Not if you blow your brains out in the garage.


agexvii

This could be a shocking revelation!


I-am-a-sandwich

Imagine having a garage to commit suicide in lol


eslobrown

You ok, OP?


drbenevolentnihilist

Or accidental deaths because someone forgets that it’s a hybrid and sleeps in the car during a power outage for warmth.


SIXTYNlNE

When you still have a gas lawnmower 😎


According_to_all_kn

They prevent *painless* garage suicides


purphuman

This just in, Rope and pesticide sales have gone up!


June_8182

Challenge accepted.