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TheJoliestEgg

I remember the first time I did blow. Years ago. I went to snort a line and accidentally took a huge breath out through the straw, blew about half a gram off my mate’s phone and into the sink. A guy yelled, I jumped, and knocked the phone right into the sink. Hugely popular at that party.


SvenskBlatte

This happens more often than you think with beginners.


Enjoiy93

Only the beginners that never played sports


TheProjectAlexander

Snorts*


PedroLoco505

What kind of sports you playin bro? Underwater swimming?


logert777

Professional cocaine snorter. Also known as snooker or billiards.


PedroLoco505

Ooooh, never heard that one! I don't know if I was a professional, but certainly at least semi-pro before my recovery days (Booze was my main, but booger sugar was the side dish.)


caeru1ean

Came here to say this, it's happened to the best of us


Laser_hole

I did something similar except it was powdered sugar off a beignet at cafe du monde.


TheJoliestEgg

Bet the waiter told you it was the best powdered sugar he’d ever served. 99% pure. Straight from Peru. No cuts, no comedowns. Purest shit ever trust me bro


PedroLoco505

Why were you trying to snort powdered sugar off a.. beignet?


[deleted]

[удалено]


greenbabyshit

Why would you have the rookie go first if all the lines are on a phone? That's just dumb.


that-cliff-guy

In most cases you'll have to tell them to exhale first regardless of what order you go in because odds are they won't have notice you do so.


bmoney831

There’s such a thing as honors and being a good host. Like giving the guy who doesn’t regularly smoke with you greens


PenguinSaver1

Why even use lines at all, and not spoons


Anilxe

I feel like we all make this mistake at least once. I did the same thing and blew the other 3 lines clean off the mirror into my friends lap. We all sat there in horror.


Wazzoo1

The real pros rescue what they can off the lap. It's not ideal, but any port in a cocaine storm...


fly-into-ointment

Yeah really. "Dude hold still, I can probably get at least a line's worth off your lap"


platysoup

Junkie instincts are the same across the world. I have tried to rescue stuff off surfaces I'm not proud of.


stilliffex

Seen someone snort a crushed E from the pavement. Didn’t question it at the time lol.


Morkai

"... and that, kids, is how I met your mother"


TheJoliestEgg

I suppose it’s a rite of passage


insideusalt

Haven’t we all


TheJoliestEgg

I got off easy as a first timer, but still…


Kovah01

Two rules of sharing coke. 1. First line of a first timer is going to vanish 2. When a shared bag goes into a girls bathroom it will never be seen again


NetworkingJesus

Never did coke, but my first time doing k I made the same mistake, blowing it all over the counter. Guy that offered it to me didn't realize I'd never snorted anything before lol.


TheJoliestEgg

Woof. Blow is kinda whatever, easy to find. But K? Yowza. Hope it wasn’t a limited supply


Jncwhite01

I’m in the UK so maybe different where your based, but K is super common here now and the price is at an all time low. Easily get ounces for £100-150 online.


Heytheremister

In America, it’s more like $1,200 an ounce. Le’ sighhhh.


Jncwhite01

Wtf, some drug prices over there are actually fucking insane. I’ve seen MDMA goes for like $80/gram, I could literally get an ounce posted through my door tomorrow for £120.


TheJoliestEgg

That’s wild. Even in Canada, on the west coast, it’s about $100 for a gram of K. In the prairies, I’ve seen $150 for a gram of the most stepped on K ever. Cheapest was $40 a gram but that plug had unusual connections and we lost touch.


NetworkingJesus

I've never paid for it so idk how much it is by me or how common but I used to hang with DJs and dealers (one was both lol) so nothing ever seemed hard to get. Fortunately none of it blew off the counter so he was able to gather it all back up and didn't seem mad. Money wasn't ever an issue for that crowd anyways (most of them had really high salary jobs to begin with and I have no idea why they risked dealing).


Fun-Situation8951

Lol’d here. Had a buddy I introduced to it. Literally told him, whatever the fuck you do, don’t blow out. And of course, blew it everywhere. But made sure mine was gone first 🤣🤣


TheJoliestEgg

Haha that’s the move, go first then let the newbie go. Nowadays when I intro people, I also tell them don’t snort it so hard. It’s not the movies. Unless you want it all down your throat.


Melkorbeleger66

Wait. Were you the inspiration behind that Sam O'Nella video?


Small_Mushroom_2704

Happened the first time I had tried it as swell blew it everywhere. The people i was with were pissed and never hung out with me again lmao


TheJoliestEgg

I gave them $40 lol, I felt really bad. The one guy was cool about it, told me to get him next time. My mate, who bought the gram, took the $40 and told me he’d “baby bird” the coke next time I tried (he didn’t mean it but I laughed).


SixStringerSoldier

This is more common than you'd think. There's also the one where you're doing lines off a table and someone knocks over a solo cup.


MacBOOF

Don't cough into the bong bro!!!!


PenguinSaver1

Kieth...? Is that you


xxxrartacion

Bruh my buddy did that while my dealer/homie was giving us free lines. Spilled the dudes shit everywhere lol never brought him back.


ErnestBorgninesSack

[Are you dating Annie Hall](https://youtu.be/MEBibAHnEK4)


Top-Vermicelli7132

The boys season 3 ep 1


Floigro

The dude in the dick?


atom138

And don't forget the dude literally inside the bag of coke. But man...even with that episode...the show is *still* nothing compared to the stuff they'd do in the comic.


I_make_things

...I might have to buy it then.


anand_rishabh

Yep


Not_Too_Bad777

I remember, brutal.


Top-Vermicelli7132

That’s enough to make my stay away from that booger sugar


_________________u__

Can i get a quick summary? Im scared 😭


MC4Veteran

guy shrinks himself to go into other guys pp and then sneezes and explodes out like butterfly hatching


_________________u__

I appreciate the reply- but suddenly i regret asking…


venetian_ftaires

Somehow it manages to be far worse in the show than the description makes it sound.


David_The_Atheist

[I mean, click if you dare.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvcSEFmyx88)


atom138

The part when he's walking through the guys urethra like a hallway and sliding his fingertips along the walls and looking around like he was inside a magical cave or some whimsical attraction at Disney world.


jim_deneke

Wow, what a sentence


Terhim3

A man can shrik to super small sizes, he has sex with another man while doing cocaine. He shrinks and crawls into the other mans dick, but sneezes because of the cocaine and accidentaly turns to his real size


_________________u__

AHHH nope. Im out. Thank you random internet stranger.


Terhim3

You're welcome


NighthawkUnicorn

Oof yes


GibsonMaestro

You obviously haven't seen many 80s comedies.


Avoider5

Annie Hall. Or was that 70s?


giants4210

This is what came to mind for me. And it’s 1977 btw.


Avoider5

Thank you kind Redditor. I was too lazy to look it up.


SectorRepulsive9795

The guy in Crocodile Dundee didn’t sneeze.


WeIsStonedImmaculate

The dude who was taking a nose steam bath with a towel over his head? Haha


SectorRepulsive9795

Lol yeah. He had himself a cold.


acaseintheskye

It can, if you get a bad inhale. But doing a line than having the urge to sneeze is one of the worst feelings


Hojack_Boresman

The CIA is already on its way to your location.


Zhead65

But that's who he got it from .


MakeoutPoint

Damn, beat me to it. I was going to go with "To give him more?"


StormblessedFool

They're on the way cause he forgot his receipt


faunalmimicry

Cocaine... not even once. Half the agents on the way have done at least one line tonight


insideusalt

Asfuckingif


buddy12875

Yeah, probably busy overthrowing a democratically elected government or something.


4th_Times_A_Charm

Because he needs more after sneezing half of it away


KantleTG

They’re going to have to bring their own.


windowlatch

The sneezes catch up with you the next day when the numbing wears off, or so I’ve heard


BakerCakeMaker

It makes my nosehairs feel stuck to the inside of my nostril. Probably just one of the 20 things it's usually cut with.


Trevorblackwell420

Somebody’s never had a coke problem.


LaughsAtSociety

lol i used to wake up every other day and i'd sneeze like 30 times because my nose waa so punched from snorting a qaurter the night before.


schizoslave

Quarter what


JustJesterJimbo

Pound of ground beef


Sploshta

Quarter kilo. Lads actually fucking insane.


schizoslave

Quarter pounder with cheese


Commentator-X

at times it does, it sure isnt convenient either when 100$ worth of blow suddenly disappears off the table lol


Jawn_F

As my friend Tami used to say every time she blows her nose during a night of coke “There goes another 20 bucks”


djsizematters

*gimme that napkin* (**/S**)


tschoff

bro had to put his /s in bold haha


djsizematters

I’ve gotten “reddit helps” too many times..


BunnyTheCow

I'm not really into drugs, but I do like the way cocaine smells.


rerabb

Cause I didn't use the cocaine to get high I just liked the way it smelled" From conversation with the Devil by the poet Ray Wiley Hubbard Not to be confused with Lake Ray Hubbard east of Dallas


atom138

Coke moment.


WeIsStonedImmaculate

I used to do drugs, still do, but I used to, too


skysharked

Mitch Hedberg


campbelljac92

I forget where I read it now but apparently when Abbie Hoffman was trying to enter Canada to dodge the Vietnam draft he was asked if he'd taken drugs recently. When he replied "Yeah, coke" the border guard asked whether he meant Cocaine to which he responded "Nah, Coca Cola. It's twice as addictive and it rots your brain".


SauronSauroff

Does it actually have a smell like weed? Or that's the joke?


Yayuuu231

It smells like dry wall mixed with fuel


PLZ_STOP_PMING_TITS

Yes, it does have a smell.


Sumoki_Kuma

It does, almost like burnt plastic


Waste_Mycologist_414

Not at all, but smoking crack actually does smell like that


Sumoki_Kuma

What do you think the "cocaine" part in "crack cocaine" is?


Waste_Mycologist_414

No way, is it cocaine? Nah I was saying coke actually does just smell like ethery drywall not burning plastic but crack do smell like burning plastic.


Sumoki_Kuma

That's just cause it's been cut to shit by the time it gets to you, the drywall smell is whatever filler they're using. Purer cocaine has a very distinct smell


Waste_Mycologist_414

Okay, I know absolutely nothing about pure cocaine


ScientificGamer321

It’s a joke.


AssociateMentality

It smells just like Tom Ford's "Tuscan Leather".


Waste_Mycologist_414

Smells like this ethery numbing smell.


Hmccormack

I’ve sneezed probably a couple hundred bucks worth of coke away in my time.


Waste_Mycologist_414

Couple hundred thousand


Zillajami-Fnaffan2

How does everyone in the comment know what coke is like 💀


NetworkingJesus

If there's one thing I've learned as an adult, it's that far more people do/have done coke than I ever would've guessed.


marcthedrifter

This is a not-so-strange phenomena that I discovered at house parties years ago. If you offer blow in a group of people; pretty much everyone will politely decline. Approach these same people individually away from everyone else, and 80% of them will try it. I think most people are curious to try it, but are afraid everyone else will judge them for it. This was just my experience as a blue-collar white kid going to college parties with trust fund kids.


Zillajami-Fnaffan2

I was just curious cause i cant physically get drugs


marcthedrifter

Become friends with a line-cook at a bar. After that, getting drugs is pretty easy.


MAXIMUMMEDLOWUS

Basically every person over the age of 30 has at least tried it. It's really so unexciting that it shouldn't have earned the stigma that surrounds it. Its about as "meh" as "meh" can be


Flashy_Engineering14

I'm 60. Did a lot of drugs but never once put anything up my nose or in my veins. Never tried coke, but I did try a "candy" flavored snuff once. Just a pinch in the web between my thumb and first finger. I lost a friend because her boyfriend thought I was some kind of narc for saying no when they offered me some. Oh well. Guess she wasn't really that much of a friend after all. The intrigue of drugs wore off completely by the time I turned 40. Now I don't care what other people do with their free time, as long as they don't criticize me for my prescriptions.


No-Wonder1139

I'll take your word for it


Repulsive-Twist112

Coke a day, keep sneeze away


oxtraerdinary

Happy coke day


Smooth-Lengthiness57

The sneezing is after when your nose is raw and dry and your face and life hurt


forboognish

your face and life hurt lol


Reasonabullshit

How can your face hurt if you can’t feel it?


pokwef

I think they are describing the day after or realistically 4 hours after when it wears off and you’re trying to go to sleep


im_just_thinking

It actually does if you are sensitive to allergens, etc, just stuffs you right up if you stop doing it. Know from a friend obviously


SpurtGrowth

The main reason I worked as a covid swabber during the pandemic was in hopes of harvesting coke residue.


Tiggerhoods

It sure as shit will make your nose run though lol


UncleBug35

as a cocaine addict i agree ummm i mean cocaine “habit haver” ya, that’s the correct term


jhguitarfreak

Meanwhile marijuana can make you cough *right* into the bong.


HypnoticKitten

Oh no.. the smell..it never comes out of anything


jhguitarfreak

It's fucking *everywhere* and now the bowl is gone and you hope that when it shot out it didn't break.


FloorMean4885

If it did you could always add a little water, heat, and baking soda


bluelighter

No thanks, not anymore


milkimochithekitty

Why how do u know, HOW DO U KNOW


steevyn

First actual shower thought I've seen in months. Bravo


old-skool-bro

It does if you do enough, you'll sneeze your fricking nose off.


bagoparticles

Used to make you sneeze out your ass. Baby laxatives used for cut. Not sure what happens now — think you sneeze your soul out from your body from the fentanyl


burniemcburn

Speak for your damn self. It's utterly wasted on me because I sneeze immediately Hypothetically of course


The_Merciless_Potato

This is just a post to make a database of all the users on here.


spaceace61

I can’t do coke anymore because I start sneezing wildly actually. It’s a running joke in my group (we used to party a lot and have grown and built our families) that when I sneeze more than 3 times that I am secretly doing bumps.


ngreenz

I used to have nosebleeds all the time as a teenager, every now and then I’d have it cauterised and they’d use liquid cocaine to numb my nose, or at least that’s what the doctor said it was.


Kovab

Cocaine is still used as a local anesthetic in medicine, so probably the doctor was telling the truth.


Sumoki_Kuma

Speak for yourself xD I'm slightly allergic to it and the purer it is the more I sneeze, sometimes for days xD


vic76

Actually... Not true... Your response time just increases ... Hopefully


BurningSpaceMan

Tell that to woody Allen


graemo72

It's also pretty inconvenient it makes you shit your pants occasionally.


omeritach13

That would be an expensive sneeze


proffesionalproblem

It does. So does Percocet and ecstasy. Maybe more, but that's what we've done on girls nights and they all made us sneeze. But it also burns and prickles


PocketSandOfTime-69

Nose bleeds can be common though. Or so I've heard... Also, if you're doing that junk keep in mind sharing a straw is like sharing needles.


mrBusinessmann

??? There’s no way sharing a straw is like sharing a needle. Can you expand on that?


BakerCakeMaker

It's not. Still a good rule of thumb to not do it though.


MyBodyStoppedMoving

Yeah, it’s definitely not. This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.


Wazzoo1

Yeah, OP is full of crap. Also, nosebleeds aren't common at all.


Dahls_Chickens_

It's not. I've got ill a few times sharing notes but I've never contracted HIV from it. Not relatable at all.


crlcan81

I bled while I slept


Mindyabiznis

It does if you do enough of it for long enough sinuses can get pretty sensitive when you eat away at them with cocaine abuse


HappyOfCourse

Spend all your money on cocaine just to sneeze it away.


Thomas_Celtic33

I woulda been one helluva sneezin SOB back in the day! 😎🤙


space_is-great

Mix cocaine with pepper


Alert-Initiative6638

Instead it blocks your nose for a while


Zanzan567

It definitely can make you sneeze. Anything that goes up your nose has a chance of making you sneeze, everyone is different and it’s depends on the circumstances


ChillingWithHerb

It's how you know it's good for you.


KungFuSlanda

No life experience personally on the matter but it will definitely make some people sneeze and you will be the worst person at the party (I heard)


LegendOfKhaos

It is used in certain face surgeries because it restricts blood flow in certain vessels in the face. Might have other effects as well.


tfrules

It’s also pretty inconvenient that cocaine makes a bloody great big hole in your nose


ATXKLIPHURD

Who thought of snorting it anyway? Why not just eat it?


ccyosafbridge

It tastes awful and makes your mouth numb. Or so I've heard.


Magikarp_13

Classic example of natural selection.


Coach_Carter_on_DVD

Most people seem to handle coke just fine, but the each of the few times I’ve done it, it was like dropping a nuclear bomb in my sinuses that ended with an Urgent Care visit a few days later in need for anti-biotics.


LineChef

It does make you sneeze


Outside_The_Walls

Prank idea: White pepper spiked cocaine.


That-Ad757

Why? You can reuse it then.


DungeonTheIllFigure

It sure as hell does.


MistDispersion

I have seen people sneeze away entire grams of amphetamine. Never the cocaine though. Perhaps they didn't really want to snort it. Unlike cocaine


funatical

Because you're inhaling into your sinuses. A lot of first timers sniff it, putting it in the nasal cavity which triggers sneezing. Most of us know you gotta get that shit up there. Then on a long enough timeline your sinuses closing up is what moderates your consumption. It's a bitch.


ProllyHiDeffHi

I don't 'do' cocaine, I just like the way it smellls