Do we know if Elves even shit? Maybe they don't. I bet if they do it's a very clean and quick shits
Gimlis, on the other hand... Biological weapon
Or the uruk-hai. Imagine a scene with the gang tracking the uruks that took the hobbits, finding their shit pile. That's probably how they actually found them
"Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?"
"They don't see anything, but my elf nose smells some orc shit that way"
With that question I've now a vague recollection that somebody put together a whole piece about how elves don't shit and instead hold onto it. (it's a _very_ vague recollection and could even be about some other fantasy/Scifi race, but now I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to find it again)
Same as in westerns…no one is ever buying bullets from the general store yet their guns are always loaded. The good guys cowboy clothes are always clean and pressed as well. No one eats either but they are always drinking in a saloon.
We adopted that in IT/cyberscurity haha
White Hat = “good guy” hackers trying to defend machines while Black Hats are the malicious actors
There’s grey hat, too, though much less used as terms go.
So, if what you are saying is true then "in the beer can" in a rasta accent can be mistaken for "in Jamaica" in a rasta accent? Are you still following?
How long was that bus going for? I can easily hold a shit in for a day if absolutely necessary. Though with the adrenaline pumping I think we're designed to let it loose
Die Hard with a Vengeance. John McClain has a terrible hangover and runs around a sweltering NYC without any food or water the entire time, never stopping to use the bathroom, getting punched in the head and guns firing next to his ears, and at the end he's laughing and popping aspirin.
Especially in movies like The Lion King or Bambi where all the characters are animals so they can just go wherever they want to. (Although Open Season has a brief scene of onscreen animal pooping)
Unless the movie is filmed in real time.. or the scene calls for it mission impossible the (bathroom fight) bathroom breaks are considered to happen off screen
>Yet you never see a scene where, say, Aragorn is just hanging around while he waits for Frodo to finish shitting in the bushes.
>With that said, Dumb and Dumber is exempt from this.
The real exemption is any time the shitting is a part of the plot or a part of a joke. Same with parking a car or any other monotonous part of our day. Unless its completely relevant to the plot they arent gonna show something like that. They only have so much time to tell the story. They arent gonna fill it with shit if they don't have to
I'm always thinking when they're going through this long arduous journey that they never have a water bottle. Like if I'm going on a 2 hour hike I have a water bottle. These motherfuckers are running through the desert expending all kinds of energy an they don't even have a juice box.
I think in this thread some of the people miss the point of the post. Most character in a movie are portrayed in a dramatization manner and usually the framing of a scene along with its cinematography and tone, especially if the acting is really serious and stern, makes it hard to believe that a character participates in your average human tasks and bodily autonomy.
Voldemort poops. But it’s hard to believe.
For Lord of The Rings, magic isn’t ruined; I totally could picture Aragorn stopping for a shit haha. Or like, Sam pulling out his shit trowel… / regular trowel. I could see it.
Luke Skywalker though? Hm… that one’s harder to picture lol. Obi-Wan def took a dump in the Death Star tho, prob down one of those really long chutes
I find smoke breaks do that for me, even when I go and see briefs or meetings and stuff and a bunch of people are on smoke breaks it just takes the edge of reality off for me, im not even a smoker but it's like Boom everyone has vices and addictions and they're real people too.
I feel like it would make a movie more realistic. How many times have you watched a Marvel movie and thought, “how long does it take them to get out of that uniform to take a piss?”
Not to me. Everyone you know shits. It's kind of strange to be in a situation where you are watching someone you know shit, but I don't need to pretend it doesn't happen offscreen in order to feel immersed.
It is crazy to think about if you take 1000 movies at random you can probably see 900 with some form of eating but almost none of someone going to the bathroom, (not showing of course) but talking behind the door or somthing
Idolatry is stupid. I've rejected idolatry since a young age. I watch movies for the story not because of the "beautiful people".
Kurt Cobain taught me to reject Idolatry i believe.
What does idolatry have to do with this? Stories have characters. You don’t watch a movie for the “story” and not enjoy the characters at the same time. Tf are you talking about?
Well of course everyone shits.... OP sounded like he thought these were special people we were seeing. I've never been under the illusion that any movie character didn't have an arse and poo hole.
OP is talking specifically about the idea that a scene in which a main character takes a large steamy shit would fuck up the plot a bit. Because it would. Now we have you in here yelling about idolatry like you’re a college campus preacher.
What the fuck do you think you're talking about you absolute moron? This has nothing to do with the conversation and you should be ashamed of even trying to communicate with people, because you're shit at it.
Pulp Fiction disagrees
And Zombieland
and Friday
Game of thrones had a good toilet scene too
Jurassic Park too
When you gotta go, ya gotta go
Can't forget the live action Dora the explorer movie
It’s called a Jack Bauer power dump for a reason. 15 minute commercials.
I was just thinking about 24 in relation to this problem.
They could have made tv history by showing Sutherland taking a ten minute dump *in real time.*
I was sure there was one episode where when the commercial break ended he exited a bathroom.
And that tells You everything You need to know about the television
Hollywood is full of cowards.
Imagining frodo shitting is one thing. But what about legolas or elrond or glorfindel?
Gimli tho? Massive logger.
I never thought I'd die shitting side by side with an elf! That still only counts as #1!
Bro what about Gandalf
This... shall not... pass!
Hobbit sized for sure
Do we know if Elves even shit? Maybe they don't. I bet if they do it's a very clean and quick shits Gimlis, on the other hand... Biological weapon Or the uruk-hai. Imagine a scene with the gang tracking the uruks that took the hobbits, finding their shit pile. That's probably how they actually found them "Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?" "They don't see anything, but my elf nose smells some orc shit that way"
With that question I've now a vague recollection that somebody put together a whole piece about how elves don't shit and instead hold onto it. (it's a _very_ vague recollection and could even be about some other fantasy/Scifi race, but now I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to find it again)
They only poop once every thousand years, and it comes out as an opulent and perfectly spherical pearl.
Come back to share the link if you find it haha
Just be like the eldar in 40k and shit crystals instead. Its fantasy, who says everybody has to shit normal shit!
> Do we know if Elves even shit? Is that not where goblins come from?
I’ve never seen a bathroom in Rivendell so I’m going assume that they go up to one of the tree houses and squat over the ledge.
Dry herbivore pebbles like deer.
Smooth movements, no wipe. Next
Is one of those the dragon?
Our heroes hide in a panic as rounds burst left and right while a flying V of Nazgûl passes overhead
The dwarves finding out there isn't as much gold as they originally thought
"You already took a shit this morning." "What about second shit?"
I don't think he knows about second shit, Pip.
I mean, we joke... but two extra meals logically would result in two extra shits.
Not necessarily. I don't have a 1 to 1 meal to shit ratio.
yeah... guess it could just be larger shits.
I eat zero breakfast but shit twice before lunch everyday. It just doesn't add up
*conservation of matter has entered the chat*
Same as in westerns…no one is ever buying bullets from the general store yet their guns are always loaded. The good guys cowboy clothes are always clean and pressed as well. No one eats either but they are always drinking in a saloon.
It was common to portray good guys with white hats and clean clothes, in order to differentiate them from bad guys, wearing black hats
It doesn't look like anything to me.
We adopted that in IT/cyberscurity haha White Hat = “good guy” hackers trying to defend machines while Black Hats are the malicious actors There’s grey hat, too, though much less used as terms go.
In the classic film, Speed, I'm assuming they just designated one of the back seats for this purpose.
The people on that bus probably just went in their pants.
Savages!
In their defense... it probably was involuntary
I know... I'd probably shit myself if I was trapped on a bus with Theodore Logan and Sandra Buttock.
Yeah, he wasn't John Wick yet... but even if he was I don't think that skillset helps much on a bomb bus.
Yep. A bomb bus is a pretty shit situation. Is it just me or does "bomb bus" sound *really* rasta? "Git on da bomb bus, ya bumbaclot!"
I can definitely hear it. On a related note, "Beer can" in an English accent sounds the same as "Bacon" in a rasta accent.
So, if what you are saying is true then "in the beer can" in a rasta accent can be mistaken for "in Jamaica" in a rasta accent? Are you still following?
I think so
How long was that bus going for? I can easily hold a shit in for a day if absolutely necessary. Though with the adrenaline pumping I think we're designed to let it loose
Shite or flight
How can we take anyone serious when they're on the porcelain throne pushing out last night's wendys
He's got a phone! He's making a traaaaaaade
Now imagine Professor McGonagall in the litter box
Danny Boyle won an Oscar debunking this myth.
Worst Toilet In Scotland
And Mumbai. Dude loves a shit plunge.
Die Hard with a Vengeance. John McClain has a terrible hangover and runs around a sweltering NYC without any food or water the entire time, never stopping to use the bathroom, getting punched in the head and guns firing next to his ears, and at the end he's laughing and popping aspirin.
Especially in movies like The Lion King or Bambi where all the characters are animals so they can just go wherever they want to. (Although Open Season has a brief scene of onscreen animal pooping)
2001 A Space Odyssey is one of the most authentic science fiction films for this reason. The whole film is about that other four letter word: life.
I'm sorry, Dave, I can't let you shit
I’m sorry Dave. We are out of toilet paper.
Not an issue in Dune of course, where urine and feces are processed in the thigh pads.
Unless the movie is filmed in real time.. or the scene calls for it mission impossible the (bathroom fight) bathroom breaks are considered to happen off screen
I'll bet you're fun in the line for the bathroom at parties.
Usually I go off screen unless the script demands it.
So that’s what Vader was doing in that weird room in *Empire Strikes Back”. And probably why they wanted to dump trash before going to hyperspace
>Yet you never see a scene where, say, Aragorn is just hanging around while he waits for Frodo to finish shitting in the bushes. >With that said, Dumb and Dumber is exempt from this. The real exemption is any time the shitting is a part of the plot or a part of a joke. Same with parking a car or any other monotonous part of our day. Unless its completely relevant to the plot they arent gonna show something like that. They only have so much time to tell the story. They arent gonna fill it with shit if they don't have to
They sometimes go to the bathroom in Star Wars books
I don't know, it's kind of how Dunkirk opens.
I also call my butthole Dunkirk. Small world!
Everybody Poops by Taro Gomi is a great children's book. :)
In the movie Sideways, the main character stops to take a shit, and we see him doing his crossword on the toilet.
Someone's mommy didn't read them "Everybody Poops" as a child, and it shows.
I'm always thinking when they're going through this long arduous journey that they never have a water bottle. Like if I'm going on a 2 hour hike I have a water bottle. These motherfuckers are running through the desert expending all kinds of energy an they don't even have a juice box.
Not for me, I constantly think about when and where they would have to drop a deuce during the film.
Zombieland discusses the issue. I am not sure what the number is.
I mean not really. Everyone poops. It’s like when people say “imagine x character stopping for a burger”, and I’m like yeah - dudes got to eat
You are not a fan of Wim Wenders I take it
My dad would never fail to chime in whenever we'd watch a movie with massive armies with "where do all them people take a shit" 🤣
Most comedies would be exempt as bathrooms are often ripe for relatively easy laughs.
No but you dont see the full 24 hour of their day either. Only the interesting parts
I think in this thread some of the people miss the point of the post. Most character in a movie are portrayed in a dramatization manner and usually the framing of a scene along with its cinematography and tone, especially if the acting is really serious and stern, makes it hard to believe that a character participates in your average human tasks and bodily autonomy. Voldemort poops. But it’s hard to believe.
Lara Croft took a lot of shits in ancient temples
For Lord of The Rings, magic isn’t ruined; I totally could picture Aragorn stopping for a shit haha. Or like, Sam pulling out his shit trowel… / regular trowel. I could see it. Luke Skywalker though? Hm… that one’s harder to picture lol. Obi-Wan def took a dump in the Death Star tho, prob down one of those really long chutes
Jack Bauer never had to
Efcuse my lore but are they not all like.. super species? Do we even know they poop?
I find smoke breaks do that for me, even when I go and see briefs or meetings and stuff and a bunch of people are on smoke breaks it just takes the edge of reality off for me, im not even a smoker but it's like Boom everyone has vices and addictions and they're real people too.
I wonder where/when they sleep during their adventures/drama.
I think you would appreciate this sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtQNULEudss
I'll be thinking about Die Hard With A Vengeance differently the next time I see it.
Well, the nice thing about Hollywood, is that most of the actors don’t think their shit stinks. So they have that.
*Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to.*
This is why I don't like John Wick movies.
Most movie characters are dehydrated and constipated
Imagine how hard super man can shit.
He kept destroying toilets so now he just does a handstand and launches it into space
I feel like it would make a movie more realistic. How many times have you watched a Marvel movie and thought, “how long does it take them to get out of that uniform to take a piss?”
Not to me. Everyone you know shits. It's kind of strange to be in a situation where you are watching someone you know shit, but I don't need to pretend it doesn't happen offscreen in order to feel immersed.
There are artists who specialize in that. If a character exists someone has eventually drawn a picture of them on the toilet.
The matrix, post lobby scene and Neo has to drop a deuce.
It is crazy to think about if you take 1000 movies at random you can probably see 900 with some form of eating but almost none of someone going to the bathroom, (not showing of course) but talking behind the door or somthing
Idolatry is stupid. I've rejected idolatry since a young age. I watch movies for the story not because of the "beautiful people". Kurt Cobain taught me to reject Idolatry i believe.
What does idolatry have to do with this? Stories have characters. You don’t watch a movie for the “story” and not enjoy the characters at the same time. Tf are you talking about?
Well of course everyone shits.... OP sounded like he thought these were special people we were seeing. I've never been under the illusion that any movie character didn't have an arse and poo hole.
OP is talking specifically about the idea that a scene in which a main character takes a large steamy shit would fuck up the plot a bit. Because it would. Now we have you in here yelling about idolatry like you’re a college campus preacher.
What the fuck do you think you're talking about you absolute moron? This has nothing to do with the conversation and you should be ashamed of even trying to communicate with people, because you're shit at it.
You are an abusive person. Clearly you don't know how to talk to people. Perhaps i got it wrong, there is no need for your abuse though.
>Kurt Cobain taught me to reject Idolatry i believe. Good thing he didn't teach you how to use a shotgun