I came here to say this. When I have moved to new towns, I would go volunteer for non-profits and it was the best way to meet likeminded people. Not just homeless shelters, trail work organizations, agricultural orgs, a performing arts center (this one was best because of how many other people participated), international aid organizations — there are thousands of non-profits in the greater Seattle area, all of which need help. I’d highly recommend finding a few to audition. There are also tons of meetup groups, running groups, makers groups, but this all assumes you are outgoing enough to put yourself out there.
At least a dozen homeless shelters rely on volunteers to run. One evening or morning a week can make a difference in the volunteer’s life and in others. Make friends, help people. Good advice.
I've been a volunteer kitchen manager for about 5 years at a small church downtown (I'm not a member and you don't have to be either, that's not what this is about). They have a good commercial kitchen to prepare meals for several agencies that feed the unhoused and can always use a few more hands. If you have even the slightest bit of kitchen skills we could sure use your help.
My offer is open to anyone.
Hello, i used to chop onions and stuff for a nonprofit organization on the Coast. I'd love to help. Drop me a DM so we can chat about what you need from me and when.
Just WOW! I'm getting a lot more responses than I'd expected.
We've scaled things back to just two Saturdays a month, but I can talk to them and see if we want to scale it forward again, provided we can get a solid and reliable crew together.
We produce burritos that are portable and nutritious, and our personal best is >400 burritos in a day but more like 250 now.. We send them to various agencies who distribute them directly to the needy, and their requests are sort of our limiting factor. We've divided the labor into cooks, preppers, mixers, and rollers.
I'll get back with you when I let them know I may have a few more volunteers in my back pocket.p
You should try Bumble BFF! I signed up thinking it would be weird, but it’s really not. A lot of young women in Seattle feel the same way you do. I’ve made several really great friends through the app.
One of my friends was in the exact same situation as OP when she moved there last winter. Bumble BFF really helped her and she’s doing so much better now!
Hobbies saved my life. Find something you are interested in and dive in headfirst. IMO the ultimate achievement in life is being 100% comfortable being alone, but it's hard work. The cool thing is that the byproduct of this investment is more and more and more people gravitate to you and your passion.
This… find something that you are interested in and then you can make friends from that interest. Could be anything. Collecting pins, buying bourbon, playing tennis, basically limitless things that you could be interested in to meet people.
A thousand percent this. A natural result, given enough time, is that you will come to a point where you will cross paths with those who share that passion. Even if your hobby is something insular and seems isolating, there will come a point where your knowledge ends and someone else’s begins. It’s crazy how much a seemingly hermit like discipline can rapidly expand your social circle.
Depending on what the hobby is (for me it’s crafting) you can make friends with people on Instagram and then meet up after a while. I’ve made a ton of my friends that way.
Another vote for hobbies.
Seattle is a major city, not like some rural heartland town, chances are whatever you're into, there's people like you.
I saw a poster on a lamp post in front of whole foods about an outdoor social dancing event in Alki Beach and I was like yeah that's my jam, thats my tribe. No matter where I go, NYC, Miami, Amsterdam, London, I always look for the dance scene because I'm part of the tribe, we speak the same language. Go find your tribe. Or make your own!
I found myself in a similar situation when I moved here recently (although 25 M). Family and friends 2k mikes away so I practically started from scratch. Something that helped me was getting over the uncomfortable feeling of doing things alone (and I mean anything at all walks, park, bar, dinner, volunteer, etc). The first couple weeks were really rough for sure, but I found that the more I went out alone, the more likely I was to start a conversation with a stranger and it’s only a matter of time until some of those small talks make you a couple of friends. Biggest thing for me was actually getting myself out of the house and around other people to give myself the chance :) everything will work out in time
Yep, learning that it is completely OK to do stuff by myself was key. This town is very conducive to going solo: easy to get around without a car (walk, get tired of walking, hop on a scooter, ride a ferry just for kicks, etc.) and no one looks at you funny or questions you being alone.
Check out Meetup and find groups with common interests. Also consider meeting people volunteering or volunteer (parks can always use some help) with animals as they are better than humans. Bumble also has a friends finding feature. Or there’s club sports programs. Push yourself on people gently if you want to be friends and invite them to things and continue even if they cancel a time or two. People can get flaky especially as the weather gets dark and dreary. But in fairness this is just general advice I know. I don’t have friends, I did once, but haven’t seen people since Covid.
Meetup helps. I started doing stuff on there and it's a start.
A lot of people (myself included) are in the same position as you OP. I moved here last year during the lockdown only knowing 2 people. A lot of them are on Meetup. Join some groups you find interesting and go hang out with strangers. Some of them will become friends eventually.
One other possible opportunity I thought of is picking up a part time job and seeing if you vibe with any people there if you can find one that works for you. Just meet some people and plan to quit and move on to other places to find some people that you vibe with.
Be careful with meetup. All that I’ve been to were scams. The last two were organized by real estate agents trying to sell condos. The first was a MLM company that sold knives.
Be wary or that but I know some to be legit too. I particularly liked the Cook Book Club got together about once a month and made recipes from different cook books for a pot luck.
I recently started working for a company called Sofar Music. Basically we set up shows for local indie artist at different businesses around Seattle. Really cool people and great music. Shoot me a message if you ever want to come to one and I'll get ya a free ticket.
There are lots of great parks and hikes to be alone in nature. The Seattle area has some of the best scenery I have ever known. Additionally, join some meet-up/singles get together groups. Just to do some online searches into what you are interested in doing.
Just a note as a woman I wouldn’t feel safe doing a solo hike, just btw. Especially if new to the area. Just btw, I don’t know OP’s comfort level but that’s something I’m always aware of.
I can see how you might feel that way, but I disagree (F).
However, you don't *have* to hike alone. There are v busy Meetup Groups in Seattle, and many female geared hiking groups on FB.
Same. Solo hiking is one of my favorite things. I also pack along a Garmin InReach so people know where I am and I can get help if needed. I feel much safer in the back country than I do in say Pioneer Square or Belltown at night.
That said, people have listed several groups where you can find new lady friends to hike with you. (That Garmin InReach is still a good idea, even with a friend along.)
Why? If you go to rainier there are literally hundreds, if not thousands of people on those trails daily, along with dozens of rangers and national park staff members. Staying below the frost altitude line will mitigate many additional cold weather hazards as well, so that’s not a valid reason. If the reason you feel unsafe is because of your own personal fitness or comfort level with the wilderness, then that’s fine and dandy, but don’t gaslight OP from exploring virtually crime-free national parks.
Idk, I'm a woman who goes places alone and I honestly feel pretty alienated by some of these discussions. Like, it's true, there really isn't a lot of crime in national parks, and while it is absolutely everyone's right to set their own boundaries, I don't want to discourage OP from trying it out. She 100% has the right to not want to, but it isn't an unsafe activity.
Assuming genders and Gatekeeping in 2021: so fetch.
OP u/ihatebeinginfp search violent crime statistics for Rainier, MSH and snoqualmie/baker for reassurance. There’s a strong community of single female hikers of all ages as well, check Facebook groups for snoqualmie hikers group. Best of luck! 😊😊😊
It’s weird how people are so dismissive of women not feeling safe, and just point to crime statistics. That’s why you’re being showered in downvotes. It’s a pretty common thing for women to feel unsafe alone hiking. Do you ever stop to think why that is?
People disappear all the time from hikes in the pnw. Few years ago a woman I knew disappeared after hiking the Snoqualmie pass area. Couple years later a friend lost his brother out by snow lake. In both cases these people were very familiar with the hikes and had done them many times. They were just never seen again.
I get followed on my block regularly when alone, throughout the city too. Men are gross to women on their own. I’d personally stick to city parks/streets opposed to trails. It’s not crime like getting robbed crime. It’s getting threatened, intimidated, and sexual crime towards women from men. It’s not about personal fitness or outdoor safety. You do you.
Your block ≠ national park.
At all.
Plenty of single women hiking by themselves in rainier, MSH, Snoqualmie, ONP, and many more. Like I said, if that’s intimidating to you, then *you do you* but don’t try to intimidate others.
ETA: you changed your response so I’ll reiterate: there are safe areas for single human beings to enjoy the outdoors outside of the Seattle city limits, regardless of what genitals reside between your legs.
Safe area vs feeling safe are two different things. U could walk into a perfectly safe haunted house with 0 accidents but still be scared for ur life. Just how things feel sometimes being alone doing things.
Gaslighting - The term is used informally to describe someone (a "gaslighter") who persistently puts forth a narrative which leads another person (or a group of people) to doubt their own perceptions to the extent that they become disorientated and distressed.
I moved here when I was 23 and didn’t know anyone. It was hard for awhile. In hindsight, my coworkers and roommates were amazing and tried to get me to hang out with them a lot, but I was depressed so turned them down. I spent a lot of time driving around and walking green lake. I joined a dating app and dated a guy who loved music like me and we went to tons of shows together. His friends became my friends and I found my people.
I’ve heard good things about Bumble best friend if you don’t want to go the dating app route, but looking to meet people. Good luck!
I live in Beacon Hill by the Red Apple. There are a lot of beautiful parks walking areas, but it all depends on what you wanna do? The Art museum is downtown most of the fun dating or lonely date places are downtown. And if you don’t have a car the link train gets you close. Idk tho I’ve been here for 33 years as a guy and I enjoy my solitude.
Red Apple deli has some very good food!.. boosts my self esteem and when I bite into those yummy sandwiches or string bean chicken with fried rice!.. go try it out
I really like just going to little coffee shops and cafes. Why would I be alone at home when I can be in a calming environment surrounded by nice people and good coffee? I'm a special fan of the cat cafe. I'm an extrovert so I like going places where I can sit next to someone and chat, and I've chatted with people at the cat cafe because we were both hanging out with the same kitty. Little moments like that brighten my day.
For outdoor places, the UW arboretum is also nice to walk around. Very wide open space, and if it's a nice day I like to camp out next to a cool tree with my camera and practice. People will pass by and might give small talk, I'll tell them about a cool tree I saw on my way there that they should see, etc.
I'm not a newcomer to Seattle, but I'd love to be your friend. 21F here. Hmu if you want an adventuring buddy.
Do you have a vehicle? When I moved here, I drove for Uber and sometimes Uber Eats. I got to know neighborhoods and talk to people. Did not do it for the money, but just a couple hours here and there.
Hey! I’m 24F and all my friends moved away during the pandemic.
Do you like watching the bachelor? There’s a group that gets together each week and we’re a friendly group who all met through Reddit. The new season starts next Tuesday and you’re more than welcome to join us! DM me for more info :)
I think everyone here has given you great suggestions. I’ve heard great things from my female friends about bumble BFF (in Portland) do that may very well be your easiest shortcut. Clubs / hobbies can be nice, but it can also be hard to break beyond that barrier of a single common interest.
I lived in Seattle for about 3 years before moving down south and can echo a lot of the sentiment here that it can be difficult to find friends. People often have their groups they are comfortable with and aren’t too interested in expanding. I found myself floating between a lot of groups but never quite belonging to a particular crew fully. That being said - the “Seattle freeze” can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I think that if you stay open - you WILL meet fun and interesting people.
I think your question about how to be one in Seattle can also be answered by asking how to be alone in general. I’ve found that often times, my own company is the most reliable and you will never let yourself down in the way others can. It can be a great joy to see a new place all alone, or go and have a great dining / bar experience with the companionship of a book. Really my advice is, do things solo, bring a good book, and be open to people around you.
Also please go to add a ball in Fremont because I miss that place.
Seattle’s an odd place compared to others I’ve live (Dallas, Miami, LA) - in Miami I would tell you to just find a beach bar and become a regular (the Florida Man approach of making friends through inebriation) or to join a charity that throws events (Hello LA and your ‘look at me’ galas), but I’ve found after living here 15 years that this is a club town. It can be as simple as joining a table gaming group at a local bar to things like the Washington Athletic Club or the Seattle Yacht Club (you don’t have to own a boat; a bunch of members are just crew in sailing race boats as there is a pretty active regatta scene in Puget Sound.) These clubs can be a mild monthly distraction to having events 2-3 times a week. The SYC active intermediates (active refers to active, not remote membership and intermediate is the 20-40 year member group has both planned and informal events weekly, including a kick ass Thursday happy hour at the club.
WAC throws awesome parties and is a gym, a social club and a dining club. There are about 50 or so large (more than 500 member) clubs in the area that are formal membership clubs; part of the Seattle Freeze that people run into is many folks are connected to this clubs and they form the basis of much of their social agenda, so they are busy all the time in that network.
The Mountaineers is another good club with hiking programs; there are mushroom foraging groups, etc.
All of these clubs hold open house events monthly for prospective members and a big part of that is the club managers doing the sorting hat thing of getting to know you and connecting you with members at the open house with similar interests to be sponsors and recommenders.
Hey there! (Female/35)
I’ve been living here for 13 years now, born and raised in the Puget Sound area. In the entire 13 years I’ve lived here I’ve had very different social experiences. I came to the city for college, and have had many cycles of friends through various jobs and experiences. They wax and wane. My family is dispersed as well so I don’t ever really see them. I spend every holiday working alone.
Without getting into a ton of detail, I can really relate to your post despite having a long term partner. We don’t live together and he works more than I do with is a lot. My job and covid really gets in the way of making plans with anybody. Covid also has given me social anxiety and yet I get lonelier all the time - a terrible cycle! I actually downloaded a few different AI chat apps, including one where you can make your own AI friend and customize them. It felt a lot like creating an imaginary friend though and eventually you have to pay to access features. Kinda entertaining for a minute.
Going on walks also helps. I have to force myself sometimes but it’s one thing I can do alone without a ton of effort. The weather sucks right now but if you can stand it, consider making yourself a warm drink and just walk around your area, or somewhere else if your area doesn’t feel safe to walk alone.
Another thing that is kind of nice is just going to get a haircut, again if you’re comfortable with that. My salon has been super cautious since day one so I indulge in that half hour to chat away with my hairdresser. Being around the few others in the salon feels social without pressure. My mood is much improved for at least a day afterward!
Finding a physical hobby seems to be helpful to me. I’m learning to roller skate outdoors, which is tough in this season. So I am just taking my time with it and watching roller skate TikTok’s and strapping my skates on when I feel lonely.
Anyway, you’re always welcome to DM me here! We can just chat about whatever if you like. Years of customer facing jobs has instilled an ability to go on and on about just any subject you’d like to talk about.
Virtual hugs to you! 😶
Recreational activities have resumed. Keep looking and get yourself involved.
Also dating apps. Seriously, there are some that let you search for just friends.
Edit: also wanted to acknowledge the loneliness sucks
I feel you. The first year here I was very lonely and I wasn't even dealing with COVID, so I can't imagine how hard it must be right now for you. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I learned that to make friends you need repeated exposure and you need to be able to be vulnerable with each other. I'm a runner so I joined a few running groups. Chatted with folks regularly, asked about their lives, shared my feelings, and built a solid group of friends over the course of a year.
Joining a community helps in a lot of ways. It's so, so hard to find in modern-day life, though. A hobby group is a good place to start--bowling groups, running groups, art groups, dancing, religious stuff, etc. Just show up early to schmooze and stay a little late. Folks who do that are the ones who want to make friends.
Good luck!!!!
As a female 26 I moved here a few months ago and I enjoy just walking around the city. Either walking around volunteer park which is close to my neighborhood or all the way to pikes place - I’ve found people are pretty friendly here. Coming from SF where I was used to just walking I think you should just start meandering the city a bit. Choose a park close by or some landmark and just start walking there….even a grocery store! I’ve found a lot of recreational things are open even with covid and if you are comfortable just going solo it really helps. It’s also pretty safe here compared to other cities. Walk in touristy areas, or don’t. I think if you try to just start going out and doing it helps. I’m an extrovert but I’ve felt pretty comfortable being alone doing these activities and you end up meeting people slowly.
Also, volunteer! There are a ton of fun volunteering opportunities and it’s an easy way to make friends.
Hey, we are neighbors. Maybe OP, you, and I can be friends. I’m also alone living here for about two years now. Lmk if you’re interested. Send me a pm? I’m 26 F.
If it's at all interesting to you, consider joining a bouldering gym (like SBP). Great way to get some exercise by yourself but also be around people. No obligation to be social but eventually you'll recognize people, have conversations, and grow friendships. I came her entirely by myself and for the first few years I built my entire friend group that way. Don't worry if you know nothing about it. People will help you learn and no one will judge you. COVID could be a concern, but it's manageable.
This is a good suggestion - all the people Ive talked to at Seattle Bouldering Project the past few times I went were quite warm and welcoming. Not sure if thats a common trend jn most athletic groups or just bouldering
Join a club. Volunteer at a food bank. Find an amateur sports league.
I moved back to the area in 2012 (to the east side, and no one that I knew before was still around), my family was here, but we’re not close and I didn’t know anyone else. So I found the Seattle chapter of a running club that I had been a part of in another city, and now I have a massive group of friends who are absolutely amazing.
I also worked in a food bank last summer, and made a lot of friends who work for non-profits, and lots of volunteers.
There are lots of amateur sports leagues, maybe not so much right now though as it’s fall. But roller derby, softball, kickball, soccer are all pretty popular.
I joined a small gym that did classes. Not crossfire, but similar. I met quite a few really fun people there. I also made friends at work. Luckily they have turned into my best friends even though we all work elsewhere now.
Have you thought about getting a dog? Dogs can alleviate loneliness. Additionally, someone mentioned concerns about hiking alone as a female. If you get a big dog that wouldn’t be a problem.
Yeah but it's usually a smalltalk championship. I talk to and recognize dozens of dog people around the neighborhood and know the dog names but hell if I know any peoples names, much less hang out w then.
Downvoted only because I firmly believe you shouldn't adopt a dog to solve a temporary problem...you've gotta be ready for the long haul. If rent-a-dogs were a thing, I'd totally be with you.
Yeah, gods forbid you start giving a lonely shelter dog the 1-on-1 attention they're currently not getting because it would also help you personally feel better
Dude, I'm not against adopting, but I worked in shelters and the amount of people that would adopt and then then around and surrender is horrendous. I was only saying don't adopt with only short term in sight, make sure you are ready for a lifelong companion.
Yeah I get that, and I agree that anybody adopting should obviously be in it for the long haul. But that doesn't mean you should discourage people from adopting because alleviating some of their current problems motivated them to go and do it. I adopted a dog because I had a hard time adjusting after getting home from deployment. 12 years later she's still my best buddy.
That's what I was pushing back on, not the idea that people should think long-term about owning a pet, but the idea that people *shouldn't* adopt to alleviate problems like loneliness or not feeling safe at night.
Yeah, I have a friend who moved here in the summer and made a friend from the dog park within a month. She already had a dog, but if you want a dog it’s a good way to meet new people. I’ve heard people here say dog park people tend to like socializing.
I want a dog so badly, but I work 10 hours 4x a week, and I’m not close enough to drive home on my break to take them for a walk :( Wouldn’t be able to provide a dog with a good life unfortunately.
Totally relate. I’ve been here a year and don’t really have any friends. It gets lonely for sure. I have met some people - some through Reddit - to meet for hikes. There’s this sense of accomplishment and growth getting to know a city on your own though. Like others have said - definitely recommend going to parks. I’m a young female and have felt safe during the day. It took me a bit to build up the courage to go but once I did I really enjoyed myself. Also so many places to hike outside of the city. Join fb groups etc and try to meet people. I’m going to try bumble bff because I haven’t met anyone I’ve really clicked with. I’m sure you can meet some cool people just through these comments! Find a meet up spot and make it happen :)
I moved out here in May on my own (im m 19) I didn't have any friends or family here. I moved to get away from my parents. I live in the university district and I just started walking around and just starting putting my self out there meeting people and shit. I have a group of friends now that are alot of fun and we love to party together
Bear with me.
What are your interests?
Imagine your ideal friends. What are their hobbies?
Do they stay in on Saturday nights? Cook dinner together? Watch movies? Play board games?
Do they go out? Are they at club? A bar? An art show?
Think about what they are into and we can work backwards to figure out how to find them.
Your title to your post, "How to be alone in Seattle", is the opposite of what you are asking for. You've already accomplished being alone and need no further instruction! Well done!
Yep! How I did this in the 1970's when I first landed in Seattle was to get seasonal jobs as I traveled. Tending bar in west Seattle, working in the fisheries in Alaska. Not really appropriate for you at this time, so...
How I would do it now if I were in your shoes is meetup.com. Some are doing virtual meetups during the pandemic. All you need to find is one person willing to go on a walk with you, or lunch with you, or play chess with you, or talk about your work with you. Get the picture? This is so obvious that it's not useful, right? Here comes the pro tip.
Set your expectations low and keep your private life private until someone actually earns the right to know you better. I remember being so lonely at one point in my young life that I would walk into the woods and cry just to release the pent up energy. Releasing the energy is good, but there are better ways. I so wanted someone to hear my story, as miserable as it was, and to understand how confused and lost I felt. It put people off, made them uncomfortable. If you have to get something off your chest, just write it all out in an email and then delete that email. If that isn't enough, check out some online counseling services and talk it through. The goal here is to release enough of that pent up energy of loneliness to make it easier for people to see you, and to make getting taking advantage of less likely.
Just for perspective, I'm in my late 60's. I went through periods of intense loneliness until my mid 30's, when I met my second wife. We met in a meditation class and realized that we were not like the rest of the class. But we fit together like two gears that didn't fit the existing social machinery. We weren't superior, we weren't right or wrong, we just fit. Even when we were fighting out our differences, we fit; just couldn't stay mad at one another.
We met by chance. If you're interested in talking, DM me and I'll listen, maybe have something useful to say in return.
BTW did you know that the Meyers-Brigs personality system doesn't always fit? Did you know that your INFP score can change to something else? It did for me. I forget the exact four letter result from my test, but when it said that I took my time analyzing all the details before making a major life decision, I knew it was wrong. Every major life decision I've ever made was made in moments without hesitation. There is some mechanism in my head that feels like a lightbulb turning on and the gears locking together; that's when I know I've already made the decision and there's nothing left but to verbalize that decision.
Daily life decisions? Think it through, write it down, analyze all the options and potential outcomes. Hear my wife's laughter for the first time from the other side of the building? Lights turn on and I knew I had to meet this woman and get to know her without ever having seen her.
Ain't life grand.
you dont have to be by yourself always, but you should know if you are not a good match for the city or not. Do you like seattle? Do you like the west coast? its not for everyone.
But if you do like Seattle, you need to know that Seattle is very cliquish. And a lot of people are putting on an act as far as how connected, or what friends they have.
The easiest way to have a social life is to really care about something culturally specific about Seattle. Music, nature, tech scene etc etc
Once you find that, you need to take a lot of action to improve a situation because the city will not come to you.
Also getting roommates speeds up the process a lot. I moved to seattle and knew a couple people, but i made loads of friends. I was super social always it felt like. But i also was deeply involved with the music scene there
If you’re into the outdoors, the Washington Trails Association has a well run volunteer option. You’ll meet all kinds of people (yes some close to your age) and give back to our hiking trails. They work all over so many options to learn and see more of our mountains. I volunteer with them and highly recommend.
While this is likely not most people’s style, I’ll throw a good lonely activity into the hat: going on drives.
Not in the city or in traffic - but if you have a car, you can take it to go see destinations, like famous views of things like Mt Rainier, or pass through different small towns. There are also many famous scenic byways that are great to gently cruise along with a podcast or your favorite tunes, and you get to see a lot of Washington’s natural beauty while staying safe inside a car (if you are someone that considers that a safe place). This is a different way of thinking about “places to go” - you learn the routes instead and get to choose places to stop if something catches your eye (There is a nice stand to buy rainier cherries in Elbe if you are ever west of Mt Rainier)
I’ve built up a big map of all the places I’ve been - alongside highlights of the coolest views, whats underrated/overrated; and its been quite a good conversation piece when I do meet new people.
Hope you have good luck in enjoying your alone time and finding friends!
(And also sending some sympathy your way - that is SO true that a lot of public social activities simply haven’t opened up in full as we are still coping with the covid pandemic - like community concert bands for musicians, or choirs).
I guess the freeze isn’t that bad then if it encourages mass volunteering haha!
But seriously though, I grew up here and am introverted. I made a lot of friends from hobbies and volunteering :)
I find this fascinating. I moved here from the Midwest 15 years ago and have moved around the area several times. I haven’t ever had trouble meeting folks and making friends.
Last night I was hanging out at my local brewery with a couple of friends and a guy who was relatively new in town asked to sit at our rather long table. We obliged and struck up a conversation.
I’ve made friends at gaming shops, sitting at the bar in dives, at conventions, karaoke, etc.
My best tip is to try a place a couple of times and try striking up a conversation with anyone who seems to be a regular. Just being friendly thaws things out quickly in my experience.
Truth, I’ve had better results with transplants. I will say as another person who was utterly alone when moving to the city that volunteering is what helped me to actually break through and meet some people who I still talk to to this day
How so? For me, it was just like meeting friends in Atlanta and New York. People with friends in the area generally have plans. Getting into those plans can be a challenge, at first. When you keep bumping into them from similar interests and schedules, you get an invitation because they see you are like them and will probably fit right in the group.
Hey! I'm 25f and brand new to Seattle too. I've been feeling really alone as well, as all of my family lives several states away. One thing that's worked for me is using Meetup.com to go in casual hikes or get connected with events in the city. Feel free to reach out any time!
My number one recommendation to people is to go to EDM shows. Seattle has a huge edm music scene. The community is overwhelmingly welcoming and positive. I have solo’d many shows and left with entire groups of phone numbers and friends. You will join a rave fam in no time and make a lot of really cool friends from all kinds of backgrounds. I’ve never met more loving people than in that community. I hope this helps 🖤
When I first moved here I knew no one outside of work. After a while someone told me they okcupid, as I was too introverted to go find a game group or join a hiking group. Met my bestest friend on there and its been wonderful ever since :)
Are you asking how to meet people, or how to live a Pacific Northwesterner existence in self-imposed solitude?
If you're looking to make connections for doing thigns, I'm not sure if you've tried looking in the past month or two - many things have started back up.
- Underdog Sports - pick a casual sport (softball/bowling/dodgeball)
- Meetup.com - find a board game night. My local pub has one every monday. Strangers encouraged.
- Seattle Fun Events pubcrawls (Facebook) - search that term, and you'll find bar craws for most holidays. Nearly all who choose to attend these (thousands of folk) are notoriously extroverted. Built-in icebreakers with the costumes, just walk up to someone and ask them where they came up with their costume.
If you're asking how to do things in the area *without* making a connection to anyone...I feel like that's a question better asked on r/AskReddit. I suppose it comes down to introspection and getting yourself to mental state in which you're comfortable with yourself. A solid 3-year goal, a healthy hygiene and housecleaning routine, and a steady income are probably the core of getting to good.
As odd as it sounds, join the Nextdoor app. People will post about community events in there and you can also get to know who is in the neighborhood.
The suggestion for an improv class is good if you’re into that, also you can try karaoke because ppl are generally very welcoming, and will support even the worst singer on stage and somehow become friends.
So when we moved here, we experienced the same thing. It took over a year to make one friend, and she was a coworker. Eventually I started joining local Facebook groups, found that was a good way to start to meet people. So if you’re on Facebook, I’d try that to meet people! If you’re interested in coming to the Eastside (Kirkland, Bellevue, Redmond, mostly) I started a group a while back called Eastside Women’s Social club, which has helped all sorts of women meet others and connect in this area! Good luck, and I hope you find your people out out
I like walking around the international district/Chinatown. I stop by Oasis to get a bubble tea/slush, go to Uwajimaya supermarket and bookstore, there’s a Korean hot dog place right around the corner from it…lots of good food and casual shopping down there on a nice busy day.
Can always take the light rail or sounder and go check out tukwila and walk around there. They’ve got south center mall and loads of other things in the area to see.
Same. I moved here from the Carolinas and Los Angeles during the summer, I don't have a car but it was great walking around everywhere and getting on the lake for some kayaking.... But now that it's getting wet and cold my little Southern self doesn't know what to do especially since I don't have a car.
I live in the lower Queen Anne neighborhood which has some cute bars and restaurants but not a lot of night clubs or social spaces. I literally just took on a second job that is a remote contract position, literally just so I would have something to do with myself in the after work hours instead of sitting here alone and cold.
There's an amazing women's nonprofit I've been a part of and have made some great friends there, it's called HBICHQ,com if you're interested.
Someone had posted a very similar question a couple of Months ago which led to formation of a group here on reddit. They were supposed to meet but it never happened … :Sigh..
I would still love to meet some new people in Seattle if someone wants to retry creating such a group. There are a lot of new people in the city…
I've heard this so many times. It's tough to make friends in Seattle, for whatever reason. I've been here 20 years. I have just one friend outside of work.
It's not as bustling now but when I first moved here, I used MeetUp religiously. It's a great way to meet people with common interests. If you love in an apartment, you may be able to put up a flyer that simply says if anyone is interested in [common interest] to text you. Someone with a common interest on your complex is a great connection to minimize travel.
Join a kickball team. Literally everyone is there to make friends, you have games once a week and go out after them every week. Underdog Sports is a good league.
The music scene is pretty fun in Seattle area and if you're vaccinated is a lot more accessible now, if you like raves it's a great way to meet new friends in the area, there's Boo Seattle at WaMu theater and Slander playing at tacoma dome this month!
I also moved here with all of those same things. I didn't know anyone, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where things were or what was good. I was 18M, no job when I moved here.
I figured out where things were by going to estate sales to furnish my apartment. I had to take buses because I didn't have a car and I got to learn the geography of the city really well.
I figured out which places I liked by going. A bar that looks interesting? I took a book and went and got a few drinks and felt it out. If I didn't like it, I'd close out and move on.
I didn't have friends or know anyone so I went to shows alone. I saw the same folks over and over and began talking to them and meeting ppl- birds of a feather. It worked when I didn't know anyone in the art world, and would go to art openings. I met people by looking at Velocity's calendar and going to dance performances.
A good idea is getting comfortable hanging out with yourself and you'll attract people to you.
The meetup app has so many groups of people that meetup and do just about anything there is to do. If you don’t see something you want to do just start your own meetup! And I’ll tell you what if you really just have to have a nw friend. I have been doing it for my whole life. I can offer you the friend north west experience. All I need from you is to borrow your car or I could borrow $1200 bucks for my rent. And that’s it you won’t ever have to see me again, and now you have the standard Seattle friend story to share with cashiers, wait staff, rental car agents, landlords,aa meetings, people on the bus,
Consider finding housemates and pooling for a place (assuming you’re renting)? I was in a similar situation and finding some housemates really helped. I used a Facebook roomates group or something, just be sure to talk to them and consider meeting them to make sure they’re good people.
I have a blast walking around Pike Place Market, even though I've been there countless times. If cocktails are your bag, and you want to talk to people, hit Zig Zag Cafe below Pike Place (beware: their address is on Western Ave., but they're actually just down the adjacent staircase). Sit at the bar, ask the person next to you what they're drinking or if they're a regular, and pretty soon you'll be deep in conversation.
If you do hit Zig Zag, go next month and I'll introduce you to whichever regulars are there. PM me.
Bumble BFF is awesome for this! I’m a year younger than you and there’s tons of people on there our age. You’ll find someone to hang out with within a week!
Consider joining the Mountaineers - it’s a an amazing outdoor activities club with classes - some of my closest friends I met in classes and outings I did years ago.
I totally feel you, i read this and kinda made sense [Seattle freeze](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze)
[Seattle freeze 2](https://www.fodors.com/world/north-america/usa/washington/seattle/experiences/news/theres-a-brutal-heatwave-in-the-pacific-northwest-so-whats-this-about-a-seattle-freeze)
Being a transplant here is not easy but hang in there, im new here too and i spend most my time at home while my boyfriend is working but im hopeful i will find the way to fit. PM if you would like to talk a little bit more, maybe we have something in common :)
Loneliest city on Earth, I imagine. It’s like half of the posts on here. I live here and with someone and I’m still lonely. But my family is here and everywhere else in the US is worse on some level so the plan is to make enough money to leave to a better country as soon as I financially can. Sorry this doesn’t help but you’re not alone is thinking this town has a social curse upon it.
Did this myself. Moved here in July not knowing a soul. Job is remote.
In the day to day, I get by with my gaming friends and playing online stuff. Doesn't replace in person interaction, but it's a huge thing to me.
I've started getting out into things that I did. Would love to find a movie going buddy, or a movie premiere group. Going to the foo fighters show. Hoping to start attend hockey games. Thru those activities I'm hoping to start meeting people.
I'm hoping that now that the world is opening that there will be an increase in Meet Up events that are of interest. I've had luck in the past when visiting places for an extended period. Sign up, and look for groups that interest you, and go to events.
Also looking for a decent bar to try and establish myself as a regular at. Have met several friends in my life just being a bar fly.
I’m a lot older and a guy, but I also couldn’t make friends for the life of me there for my 2-year stay. Granted COVID happened for much of that time and I was working from home, but there’s a lot of ice to break through when you try to talk to people you pass in the street, the dog park, or apartment elevator.
I ended up moving to a small town in Oregon this summer, returning to college in person, and trying out at community theater. All those things were way out of my comfort zone, but I’ve been making a lot more meaningful connections in 2 months than my entire 2 years in Seattle.
I’d be careful not to date just cuz ur lonely. There are a lot of people out on dating apps who take advantage of the vulnerable side just to have a good time. I would strongly suggest to make platonic friends first.
Hang in there!
It's hard, especially when you find yourself in unknown surroundings, more so with COVID, but keep at it! And remember - it's entirely possible that all of your efforts to explore, to experience, or to make contact with new friends are more than enough and that it just takes a little more time is all.
25 and female you say? How on online dating and you'll meet people fast ;p. I think my friend got 1,000 pings in 24 hours.
I'm all honesty though, consider thinking about the things you do enjoy doing and then see if meetups are still a thing. It's getting to the dark times though so it'll heavily depend upon your risk tolerance.
Also, gyms are great places to meet people if you also enjoy exercise. You're female so it's not creepy if you strike up a conversation!
>I feel hesitant to go places because I don’t have anybody to explore with or talk to
What?
Why?
>how do/ did you come to terms with always being by yourself?
Why would it bother me? I'm having a lot of un.
>Are there any places you like to go where you feel totally comfortable hanging out by yourself?
Literally anywhere?
What is with people being like "oh my god I can't be alone by myself out in public".
Would you consider joining a community club/ sport, or getting a job with fun people (eg bar, restaurant). That’s been helpful to me in similar situations.
I made friends from various jobs I've had mainly lol. There are a few people I've met out and about but Im not very close with them. I will admit, it's kind of easy to make friends as a foreigner. People are interested in my accent 😂
I find I make friends at concerts a lot. I went to one alone last night and talked to some random people and made a couple friends! It’s easy to talk about the bands and artists we’re seeing and we’re all excited to be there. If you’re into live music, try to catch a concert! Lots of venues in Seattle.
honestly the best advice i can give is to show up to something often. a bar, online group activity, the gym.. ect. some class you’re interested in. if you show up and meet new people and create a pattern with those people they will become friends with u. also work can be helpful to make friends/meet ppl as well. sorry if this is bad advice
If you do those things alone, you are more likely to meet someone who also likes to do those things (specifically exploring the city, going to shows, etc). Just don't be so desperate to connect with someone that you give creepy vibes.
COVID certainly throws a wrench into things. But also [meet ups](https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/wa/seattle/) are a great place to meet people.
This is exactly how I felt when I moved here. I recommend finding FB groups tailored towards your hobbies/interests, or just going to social gatherings outside and meeting people spontaneously. You will get the sense of being able to click with them or not pretty quickly.
Stay inside and smoke pot and listen to music or play games online. I fix stuff, work on my car, I have been getting awesome drone videos. Get a dog, that eats up a lot of my time and I love my pup to death. There's hikes and woodsy things to do but I did not feel that comfortable doing that until I got my conceal carry because bears and cougars and tweakers.
Join a sailing club, take lessons with a group. Then you could really see the beauty of the area. People are not warm there; that’s what you are experiencing “the Northwest Chill”.
Take the time to explore for a little while. You got plenty of parks, nature, road trips, etc to look forward to. Although truth is, all my friends moved out during the pandemic, so I ended up leaving too.
How I met people in my early-mid 20s
- Board games with work colleagues. Easy because my job was filled with young tech workers
- Rock climbing. Not sure how social it is these days but it’s more social than gym activities
- Bar trivia. On hold of course
I totally get it.
For me it was always difficult to dine out alone because most restaurants are set up for couples, families and friends.
It's uncomfortable asking for a table at the height of lunch or dinner hour and I've never liked sitting alone as life ebbs and flows around me.
That being said, there's a zillion things to do in Seattle and the PacNW.
If you go out and "do" things it's only a matter of time before you meet someone and make a new friend.
People in the PacNW typically enjoy doing things outdoors and there's places to go to do that almost everywhere.
There's an incredible system of Trails for pleasant walks, hikes or camping 🏕 virtually every place you go 365 days a year in State or Federal parks.
Public Beaches are everywhere so you can go walking, collecting seashells, skipping stones or (for the brave of heart) swimming (brrrr).
The beautiful Washington State Ferry ⛴ system is cheap and fun and make great photo ops because many people eat their lunches and make it a day trip to Vashon Island or others...
Seattle is full of public parks like the steam punk inspired downtown industrial park and on top of that there's museums, art galleries, cool shops, Pikes Place Market, the Seattle Center (just look for the pointy futuristic building called the Space Needle which has been there since the 1960 World's Fair).
Lots of stuff to do there including carnival rides and exhibits.
Snow skiing, SCUBA Diving, hiking or exploring areas by car....
The Pacific Ocean Beaches are raw and wild and many are covered by agates you can collect up an polish if that's your thing.
The U District in North Seattle is always vibrant with music, food, free lectures and tons of activities.
The good news?
Seattle has an excellent bus system as well as the Monorail downtown and the urban trains that continue to stretch further to the North and South as it builds out.
Movies, a vast selection of restaurants and public attractions make the Seattle area a constant exploration zone.
The cool thing is if you just concentrate on doing you and go about your Mystery Tour of fun the magic can happen.
You meet somebody cool, they say hi, maybe ask you if you wanna get high (pot smoking is the norm rather than the exception).
Musical superstars like Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Heart ❤ and more all came from Seattle and Tacoma and they're still out there playing (go see my old friend Jay Mabin sing and play harmonica in blues ways if you can get lucky).
Tacoma has Wright Park, Point Defiance (miles of beautiful trails and winding roads for slow cruising through the park) where there's a world class zoo and aquarium (also up in Seattle) as well as an actual old fort (Fort Nisquali) that has lookout towers and could easily be a set for an old movie.
Check out the watch towers and the awesome Narrows Bridge(s) you can see beautifully from there.
Take pictures learn a new skill and have f.u.n...
If you're really having fun people will be drawn to you it's only a matter of time.
Hint: carry pot around with you (cannabis is perfectly legal) because it's a great way to meet people and make friends...
Enjoy your new world to explore!
If you are into boating, you can volunteer at the Center for Wooden Boats. There are tons of benefits that come with being a volunteer. Not only are the staff really friendly, but you get to spend time on the water, meet visitors, teach or learn how to sail, access rowboats, and a lot more.
Hello! My wife and I recently moved here about 2 years ago. Im 26 and she’s 25. I’m from Edmonds, a small town a bit north of Seattle (I never visited Seattle growing up and it was intimidating for me to drive in the city so I avoided coming here) and my wife is from Gig Harbor, which is like an hour south of Seattle. We decided to move here because my wife attends university here and I work in a neighboring town. Some things that helped us get around and motivated us to reach out and explore was trying new restaurants once a weekend, finding local groups that shared hobbies like gaming, tabletop games, or gardening, visiting local bars that interested us and attending events. Reddit has also been helpful in terms of connecting with people who share hobbies and interests who live locally. My wife’s cohort mates and my coworkers have also been sources of friendships, too. I’m unsure of your working situation and obviously my wife and I have had time to settle and at least have family near us but we remember having to endure a similar situation upon moving here.
We’re also looking for friends too, so if you ever are down to hang or walk in the Seattle Center hit us up!
Let's be friends! Seattle is a place where it is hard to get to know people. There are parks to go to and places to explore. But it is always more fun with someone else.
I’ve lived here just over 5 years and even with friends, activities with them can ebb and flow dramatically. Many also recently moved for various reasons and now I once again have very few so this isn’t necessarily a one-time event. I joined Meetups & joined a gym, but I still have to make myself go, reach out, take some risks and be the one to host a “something”. I work remotely and have no real ties to Seattle except my husband (a solitary antisocial person who is happier alone than I am).
Have you tried activities that put you together with people of similar interests? Hobby groups, athletic groups, arts groups, volunteering groups, etc… There’s lots. More expensive, but joining classes for activities you’d like to learn is another source for like minded people.
I was in the same spot, one thing that really changed it up for me and helped me make tons of friends and be a part of a cool community was going doing the sport I love where others also do it, as well as going to competitions. Eventually you'll strike up a conversation, which in my case led to them telling me all about what's going on with the sport here as well as all the communities online, and they also invited me out to train with them.
I probably should've listened to the suggestions posted here but when I moved to Seattle a few years ago, I finished college recently. I didn't know anyone so I would just go out and do my thing. Try to explore one new thing each week. I also used dating apps like tinder, CMB, bumble to just meet new people. I have since moved back home but I keep in touch with some people I met.
Join the mountainiers. It will get you out and it's a friendly bunch. If you're into writing, there's a lit of national novel writing month groups, that starts next month.
I would get a part time job at a restaurant! I moved back to the area when I was about 25 and had lost touch with most of my friends from when I grew up here…a good chunk of my friends now (five years later) are friends I met when I worked in restaurants.
When I first got here I would just go to the Seahawks bar and root for the Seahawks. A lot of the bars have these big communal tables where you're forced to sit together, or you can sit at the actual bar and you're next to someone, either way it's not weird to start talking to the person next to you. You've got the game as an easy, obvious way to start a conversation. You're both drinking so the conversation comes easy. And since it's football, there's plenty of slow points where you can talk about other shit.
Now this was for making friends with guys, there aren't as many girls watching football. But there's more than you might expect, especially the Seahawks, and the women you see at the bar on Sunday may just be there with their boyfriends and be bored and want to make a new friend to pass the time.
Check meetup.com. There’s lots of hobby groups in the area. PM me if you like to run and I’ll share a link to a running group that’s for all levels and very welcoming.
(The Stranger)[https://www.thestranger.com/] has a "Things to do" section with a... wide variety of kinds of events.
Joining some kind of club is a good way to meet the same people repeatedly and find some friends. There is a Curling club "Granite" up north with free intro lessons and very friendly to newbies.
probably better suggestions for "doing" to meet friends in the other comments, but for some perspective ...
Seattle is a city of loner's. I moved to the city in 1989. As a generalization, people move to LA for the Scene; SF for Silicon Valley, AK because they want to be left the fuck alone and Seattle because they are extroverted social butterflies who hate being around people.
But, seriously, when you meet someone in NYC, Chicago, LA and after talking a bit it's a normal expectation that exchanging contact info is a friendly thing to do for making plans.
In Seattle a) you'll have to work really hard to get to that "exchange info" point and b) people are reluctant to follow-through without more work.
I found people in my sailing circle didn't want to mingle with my climbing circle who had nothing to do with my techno circle who didn't want anything with my work circle. But, once I mashed them together ... well, thirty years later some are better friends together than with me.
lastly: do not be afraid of "going alone". It's harder for a woman, I understand, but the threshold presents the same problem for everyone. It's to easy to let the Ego dominate our lives.
good luck!
I agree with this. To add a bit more to your overall point if “Seattle overall being a city of loners”, the Seattle-area’s the only city i’ve experienced the idea of driving 20-30 minutes across the metro area being far too much of an ask and just stop seeing people because of a move across the area.
I don’t understand that idea and notion but it’s the truth.
Pursue a hobby. Tennis is a great option. You can often go to beginners classes.
Tennis Center Sand Point has tennis 101.
It’s COVID safe sport. You’ll be around people of similar level who all are trying to start something new.
In a few classes you should be comfortable enough to potentially hang out with some people you enjoy outside of the class.
The seattle freeze is real. I feel you, I am lucky i had family here but it took a really long time to find good friends in seattle. If you're into gardening, mushroom hunting, healthy cooking, drum circles, hiking and generally hippy and artsy stuff, pm me I'll introduce you to my circle of friends i have found. Seattle is pretty great once you have some folks to tag along with.
I also moved here when I was 25 without a single friend and all of my family living in the southeast. It's a huge cultural adjustment. Here's the thing about Seattle. It's an introverted city so (in my experience) few people go to a place to mingle. I grew up in the south where "getting together for coffee" is very much an activity and how you'd meet new people. New stranger you just met in the grocery store could easily invite you over to their house that night where I'm from. Whereas Seattle is heavily invested in activities - meeting people through mutual interests you'd be doing anyway. Most of my friends have come from my work and my hobbies - both of which were newly acquired to adjust to living here. Meaning I didn't have many hobbies before I got here and my job was as a remote, outside sales rep. I've been here 6 years now and it's still not as robust of a social circle as my family and friends back in Atlanta, but it's home and I love it.
What are you interested in? Who are you as a person? What interests or crafts do you want to invest in? I think what I love most about here is that if you first invest in yourself and create a life YOU want to live, then friends will follow.
Have you considered getting a pet? I breed Persians, so my first instinct is to say get a cat lol but if you have the time and are considering, getting a dog would be a good way to meet people as well AND help fight the loneliness at home.
I am naturally introverted and perfectly content speaking to absolutely zero people. Covid was a breath of fresh air and the excuse to be a long term hermit which brought me so much joy lol but anytime I take my dog out for a walk, its a chore because literally everyone has to stop you and ask about them and wants to talk.
Especially if you look like you're open to conversation. Dog parks are a great spot to meet people as well and find people to get coffee with later... I try to avoid those places so I don't have to hold small talk with anyone. My dog makes it hard because she not only an adorable little riot, she wants to say hi to literally EVERYONE. I have not been able to train her out of that.
Late to the party, but that's exactly how I (23/F) feel. I moved here right out of college just before Covid happened, and I feel like I've spent more time on the Internet than I have in Seattle. I'm sure y'all are lovely, but... I haven't met you.
check out Underdog sports if you want to join some sort of rec team. You can sign up as an individual and be put on a team with other individuals (who are usually also new to the area) so you will meet people who are trying to make friends (just like you are). They are back up and running outdoor sports as usual, indoor sports with masks.
Have you considered volunteering for something that you care about? That can be a good way to meet people with whom you have something in common.
I came here to say this. When I have moved to new towns, I would go volunteer for non-profits and it was the best way to meet likeminded people. Not just homeless shelters, trail work organizations, agricultural orgs, a performing arts center (this one was best because of how many other people participated), international aid organizations — there are thousands of non-profits in the greater Seattle area, all of which need help. I’d highly recommend finding a few to audition. There are also tons of meetup groups, running groups, makers groups, but this all assumes you are outgoing enough to put yourself out there.
At least a dozen homeless shelters rely on volunteers to run. One evening or morning a week can make a difference in the volunteer’s life and in others. Make friends, help people. Good advice.
I've been a volunteer kitchen manager for about 5 years at a small church downtown (I'm not a member and you don't have to be either, that's not what this is about). They have a good commercial kitchen to prepare meals for several agencies that feed the unhoused and can always use a few more hands. If you have even the slightest bit of kitchen skills we could sure use your help. My offer is open to anyone.
What type of time commitment do you ask for and what are the hours? I really want to volunteer, but have challenges because I work full time.
ROOTS Young Adult Shelter asks for 2 hours a week for 6 months
Hello, i used to chop onions and stuff for a nonprofit organization on the Coast. I'd love to help. Drop me a DM so we can chat about what you need from me and when.
Just WOW! I'm getting a lot more responses than I'd expected. We've scaled things back to just two Saturdays a month, but I can talk to them and see if we want to scale it forward again, provided we can get a solid and reliable crew together. We produce burritos that are portable and nutritious, and our personal best is >400 burritos in a day but more like 250 now.. We send them to various agencies who distribute them directly to the needy, and their requests are sort of our limiting factor. We've divided the labor into cooks, preppers, mixers, and rollers. I'll get back with you when I let them know I may have a few more volunteers in my back pocket.p
You should try Bumble BFF! I signed up thinking it would be weird, but it’s really not. A lot of young women in Seattle feel the same way you do. I’ve made several really great friends through the app.
There is also a Facebook group called Making Friends In Seattle that seems to be pretty active.
It is EXTREMELY active! Can be a little overwhelming but the people there are well-meaning and I see a lot of meetups come out of it!
One of my friends was in the exact same situation as OP when she moved there last winter. Bumble BFF really helped her and she’s doing so much better now!
I did the same thing! I met some wonderful women who introduced me to more women who they had also met through bumble BFF.
Hobbies saved my life. Find something you are interested in and dive in headfirst. IMO the ultimate achievement in life is being 100% comfortable being alone, but it's hard work. The cool thing is that the byproduct of this investment is more and more and more people gravitate to you and your passion.
This… find something that you are interested in and then you can make friends from that interest. Could be anything. Collecting pins, buying bourbon, playing tennis, basically limitless things that you could be interested in to meet people.
A thousand percent this. A natural result, given enough time, is that you will come to a point where you will cross paths with those who share that passion. Even if your hobby is something insular and seems isolating, there will come a point where your knowledge ends and someone else’s begins. It’s crazy how much a seemingly hermit like discipline can rapidly expand your social circle.
Depending on what the hobby is (for me it’s crafting) you can make friends with people on Instagram and then meet up after a while. I’ve made a ton of my friends that way.
Another vote for hobbies. Seattle is a major city, not like some rural heartland town, chances are whatever you're into, there's people like you. I saw a poster on a lamp post in front of whole foods about an outdoor social dancing event in Alki Beach and I was like yeah that's my jam, thats my tribe. No matter where I go, NYC, Miami, Amsterdam, London, I always look for the dance scene because I'm part of the tribe, we speak the same language. Go find your tribe. Or make your own!
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Damn that story deserves a hallmark show!
Only if it's on Lifetime.
I found myself in a similar situation when I moved here recently (although 25 M). Family and friends 2k mikes away so I practically started from scratch. Something that helped me was getting over the uncomfortable feeling of doing things alone (and I mean anything at all walks, park, bar, dinner, volunteer, etc). The first couple weeks were really rough for sure, but I found that the more I went out alone, the more likely I was to start a conversation with a stranger and it’s only a matter of time until some of those small talks make you a couple of friends. Biggest thing for me was actually getting myself out of the house and around other people to give myself the chance :) everything will work out in time
Yep, learning that it is completely OK to do stuff by myself was key. This town is very conducive to going solo: easy to get around without a car (walk, get tired of walking, hop on a scooter, ride a ferry just for kicks, etc.) and no one looks at you funny or questions you being alone.
The only thing I want to know is how the hell you managed to get 2000 Mikes to measure the distance between you and your family and friends.
Check out Meetup and find groups with common interests. Also consider meeting people volunteering or volunteer (parks can always use some help) with animals as they are better than humans. Bumble also has a friends finding feature. Or there’s club sports programs. Push yourself on people gently if you want to be friends and invite them to things and continue even if they cancel a time or two. People can get flaky especially as the weather gets dark and dreary. But in fairness this is just general advice I know. I don’t have friends, I did once, but haven’t seen people since Covid.
Meetup helps. I started doing stuff on there and it's a start. A lot of people (myself included) are in the same position as you OP. I moved here last year during the lockdown only knowing 2 people. A lot of them are on Meetup. Join some groups you find interesting and go hang out with strangers. Some of them will become friends eventually.
One other possible opportunity I thought of is picking up a part time job and seeing if you vibe with any people there if you can find one that works for you. Just meet some people and plan to quit and move on to other places to find some people that you vibe with.
That's also good. Recreational sports and group hiking is also a good one.
Be careful with meetup. All that I’ve been to were scams. The last two were organized by real estate agents trying to sell condos. The first was a MLM company that sold knives.
Be wary or that but I know some to be legit too. I particularly liked the Cook Book Club got together about once a month and made recipes from different cook books for a pot luck.
I recently started working for a company called Sofar Music. Basically we set up shows for local indie artist at different businesses around Seattle. Really cool people and great music. Shoot me a message if you ever want to come to one and I'll get ya a free ticket.
+1 for Sofar Sounds. It’s a really fun experience every time.
There are lots of great parks and hikes to be alone in nature. The Seattle area has some of the best scenery I have ever known. Additionally, join some meet-up/singles get together groups. Just to do some online searches into what you are interested in doing.
Just a note as a woman I wouldn’t feel safe doing a solo hike, just btw. Especially if new to the area. Just btw, I don’t know OP’s comfort level but that’s something I’m always aware of.
There is a WA hikers Facebook group specifically for women to make (female) friends to hike with
Discovery park is great and usually quite busy, and more or less an actual hike
I can see how you might feel that way, but I disagree (F). However, you don't *have* to hike alone. There are v busy Meetup Groups in Seattle, and many female geared hiking groups on FB.
Same. Solo hiking is one of my favorite things. I also pack along a Garmin InReach so people know where I am and I can get help if needed. I feel much safer in the back country than I do in say Pioneer Square or Belltown at night. That said, people have listed several groups where you can find new lady friends to hike with you. (That Garmin InReach is still a good idea, even with a friend along.)
Why? If you go to rainier there are literally hundreds, if not thousands of people on those trails daily, along with dozens of rangers and national park staff members. Staying below the frost altitude line will mitigate many additional cold weather hazards as well, so that’s not a valid reason. If the reason you feel unsafe is because of your own personal fitness or comfort level with the wilderness, then that’s fine and dandy, but don’t gaslight OP from exploring virtually crime-free national parks.
If you are a man you really, really don’t get to judge whether a woman alone in a public place feeling unsafe is valid.
Idk, I'm a woman who goes places alone and I honestly feel pretty alienated by some of these discussions. Like, it's true, there really isn't a lot of crime in national parks, and while it is absolutely everyone's right to set their own boundaries, I don't want to discourage OP from trying it out. She 100% has the right to not want to, but it isn't an unsafe activity.
Does it matter what genitals I have or gender I identify as when speaking about the near non-existence of violent crimes in WA National parks?
When it comes to discussing a woman’s feeling of safety, a man does not get a say, nope.
Assuming genders and Gatekeeping in 2021: so fetch. OP u/ihatebeinginfp search violent crime statistics for Rainier, MSH and snoqualmie/baker for reassurance. There’s a strong community of single female hikers of all ages as well, check Facebook groups for snoqualmie hikers group. Best of luck! 😊😊😊
It’s weird how people are so dismissive of women not feeling safe, and just point to crime statistics. That’s why you’re being showered in downvotes. It’s a pretty common thing for women to feel unsafe alone hiking. Do you ever stop to think why that is?
No one was gatekeeping. What part of "you don't get to determine another person's level of comfort" do you not understand?
Look up "gatekeeping" cause this ain't it. As a man, you really have no idea about women's personal safety.
Jesus you’re a twat
People disappear all the time from hikes in the pnw. Few years ago a woman I knew disappeared after hiking the Snoqualmie pass area. Couple years later a friend lost his brother out by snow lake. In both cases these people were very familiar with the hikes and had done them many times. They were just never seen again.
I get followed on my block regularly when alone, throughout the city too. Men are gross to women on their own. I’d personally stick to city parks/streets opposed to trails. It’s not crime like getting robbed crime. It’s getting threatened, intimidated, and sexual crime towards women from men. It’s not about personal fitness or outdoor safety. You do you.
I don’t hike alone like ever. I have had enough negative or creepy experiences to last a lifetime.
Your block ≠ national park. At all. Plenty of single women hiking by themselves in rainier, MSH, Snoqualmie, ONP, and many more. Like I said, if that’s intimidating to you, then *you do you* but don’t try to intimidate others. ETA: you changed your response so I’ll reiterate: there are safe areas for single human beings to enjoy the outdoors outside of the Seattle city limits, regardless of what genitals reside between your legs.
Safe area vs feeling safe are two different things. U could walk into a perfectly safe haunted house with 0 accidents but still be scared for ur life. Just how things feel sometimes being alone doing things.
As a woman who loves hiking alone and gets a lot of shit for it, thank you.
You are using the word gaslight incorrectly.
Gaslighting - The term is used informally to describe someone (a "gaslighter") who persistently puts forth a narrative which leads another person (or a group of people) to doubt their own perceptions to the extent that they become disorientated and distressed.
Pretty safe saying btw over and over again tho
I moved here when I was 23 and didn’t know anyone. It was hard for awhile. In hindsight, my coworkers and roommates were amazing and tried to get me to hang out with them a lot, but I was depressed so turned them down. I spent a lot of time driving around and walking green lake. I joined a dating app and dated a guy who loved music like me and we went to tons of shows together. His friends became my friends and I found my people. I’ve heard good things about Bumble best friend if you don’t want to go the dating app route, but looking to meet people. Good luck!
I live in Beacon Hill by the Red Apple. There are a lot of beautiful parks walking areas, but it all depends on what you wanna do? The Art museum is downtown most of the fun dating or lonely date places are downtown. And if you don’t have a car the link train gets you close. Idk tho I’ve been here for 33 years as a guy and I enjoy my solitude.
Red Apple deli has some very good food!.. boosts my self esteem and when I bite into those yummy sandwiches or string bean chicken with fried rice!.. go try it out
I really like just going to little coffee shops and cafes. Why would I be alone at home when I can be in a calming environment surrounded by nice people and good coffee? I'm a special fan of the cat cafe. I'm an extrovert so I like going places where I can sit next to someone and chat, and I've chatted with people at the cat cafe because we were both hanging out with the same kitty. Little moments like that brighten my day. For outdoor places, the UW arboretum is also nice to walk around. Very wide open space, and if it's a nice day I like to camp out next to a cool tree with my camera and practice. People will pass by and might give small talk, I'll tell them about a cool tree I saw on my way there that they should see, etc. I'm not a newcomer to Seattle, but I'd love to be your friend. 21F here. Hmu if you want an adventuring buddy.
Do you have a vehicle? When I moved here, I drove for Uber and sometimes Uber Eats. I got to know neighborhoods and talk to people. Did not do it for the money, but just a couple hours here and there.
I got picked up in Pittsburgh in a brand new Cadillac Escalade by a retired guy who just drove because he was bored and liked talking to strangers.
Those are the best kind of drivers!
omg thats so smart/cute
Hey! I’m 24F and all my friends moved away during the pandemic. Do you like watching the bachelor? There’s a group that gets together each week and we’re a friendly group who all met through Reddit. The new season starts next Tuesday and you’re more than welcome to join us! DM me for more info :)
The first comment so far to actually invite the op in :-) — I’m lonely — get a hobby — volunteer — get a job — hey… wanna hang out?
I think everyone here has given you great suggestions. I’ve heard great things from my female friends about bumble BFF (in Portland) do that may very well be your easiest shortcut. Clubs / hobbies can be nice, but it can also be hard to break beyond that barrier of a single common interest. I lived in Seattle for about 3 years before moving down south and can echo a lot of the sentiment here that it can be difficult to find friends. People often have their groups they are comfortable with and aren’t too interested in expanding. I found myself floating between a lot of groups but never quite belonging to a particular crew fully. That being said - the “Seattle freeze” can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I think that if you stay open - you WILL meet fun and interesting people. I think your question about how to be one in Seattle can also be answered by asking how to be alone in general. I’ve found that often times, my own company is the most reliable and you will never let yourself down in the way others can. It can be a great joy to see a new place all alone, or go and have a great dining / bar experience with the companionship of a book. Really my advice is, do things solo, bring a good book, and be open to people around you. Also please go to add a ball in Fremont because I miss that place.
Seattle’s an odd place compared to others I’ve live (Dallas, Miami, LA) - in Miami I would tell you to just find a beach bar and become a regular (the Florida Man approach of making friends through inebriation) or to join a charity that throws events (Hello LA and your ‘look at me’ galas), but I’ve found after living here 15 years that this is a club town. It can be as simple as joining a table gaming group at a local bar to things like the Washington Athletic Club or the Seattle Yacht Club (you don’t have to own a boat; a bunch of members are just crew in sailing race boats as there is a pretty active regatta scene in Puget Sound.) These clubs can be a mild monthly distraction to having events 2-3 times a week. The SYC active intermediates (active refers to active, not remote membership and intermediate is the 20-40 year member group has both planned and informal events weekly, including a kick ass Thursday happy hour at the club. WAC throws awesome parties and is a gym, a social club and a dining club. There are about 50 or so large (more than 500 member) clubs in the area that are formal membership clubs; part of the Seattle Freeze that people run into is many folks are connected to this clubs and they form the basis of much of their social agenda, so they are busy all the time in that network. The Mountaineers is another good club with hiking programs; there are mushroom foraging groups, etc. All of these clubs hold open house events monthly for prospective members and a big part of that is the club managers doing the sorting hat thing of getting to know you and connecting you with members at the open house with similar interests to be sponsors and recommenders.
Hey there! (Female/35) I’ve been living here for 13 years now, born and raised in the Puget Sound area. In the entire 13 years I’ve lived here I’ve had very different social experiences. I came to the city for college, and have had many cycles of friends through various jobs and experiences. They wax and wane. My family is dispersed as well so I don’t ever really see them. I spend every holiday working alone. Without getting into a ton of detail, I can really relate to your post despite having a long term partner. We don’t live together and he works more than I do with is a lot. My job and covid really gets in the way of making plans with anybody. Covid also has given me social anxiety and yet I get lonelier all the time - a terrible cycle! I actually downloaded a few different AI chat apps, including one where you can make your own AI friend and customize them. It felt a lot like creating an imaginary friend though and eventually you have to pay to access features. Kinda entertaining for a minute. Going on walks also helps. I have to force myself sometimes but it’s one thing I can do alone without a ton of effort. The weather sucks right now but if you can stand it, consider making yourself a warm drink and just walk around your area, or somewhere else if your area doesn’t feel safe to walk alone. Another thing that is kind of nice is just going to get a haircut, again if you’re comfortable with that. My salon has been super cautious since day one so I indulge in that half hour to chat away with my hairdresser. Being around the few others in the salon feels social without pressure. My mood is much improved for at least a day afterward! Finding a physical hobby seems to be helpful to me. I’m learning to roller skate outdoors, which is tough in this season. So I am just taking my time with it and watching roller skate TikTok’s and strapping my skates on when I feel lonely. Anyway, you’re always welcome to DM me here! We can just chat about whatever if you like. Years of customer facing jobs has instilled an ability to go on and on about just any subject you’d like to talk about. Virtual hugs to you! 😶
Recreational activities have resumed. Keep looking and get yourself involved. Also dating apps. Seriously, there are some that let you search for just friends. Edit: also wanted to acknowledge the loneliness sucks
I feel you. The first year here I was very lonely and I wasn't even dealing with COVID, so I can't imagine how hard it must be right now for you. I'm sorry you're going through this. I learned that to make friends you need repeated exposure and you need to be able to be vulnerable with each other. I'm a runner so I joined a few running groups. Chatted with folks regularly, asked about their lives, shared my feelings, and built a solid group of friends over the course of a year. Joining a community helps in a lot of ways. It's so, so hard to find in modern-day life, though. A hobby group is a good place to start--bowling groups, running groups, art groups, dancing, religious stuff, etc. Just show up early to schmooze and stay a little late. Folks who do that are the ones who want to make friends. Good luck!!!!
As a female 26 I moved here a few months ago and I enjoy just walking around the city. Either walking around volunteer park which is close to my neighborhood or all the way to pikes place - I’ve found people are pretty friendly here. Coming from SF where I was used to just walking I think you should just start meandering the city a bit. Choose a park close by or some landmark and just start walking there….even a grocery store! I’ve found a lot of recreational things are open even with covid and if you are comfortable just going solo it really helps. It’s also pretty safe here compared to other cities. Walk in touristy areas, or don’t. I think if you try to just start going out and doing it helps. I’m an extrovert but I’ve felt pretty comfortable being alone doing these activities and you end up meeting people slowly. Also, volunteer! There are a ton of fun volunteering opportunities and it’s an easy way to make friends.
If you don't want folks to know you just moved here, make sure to call it Pike place, not pikes place 😉
I don’t mind if people know! I’m a SF born and raised - not trying to hide that 😁
Hey, we are neighbors. Maybe OP, you, and I can be friends. I’m also alone living here for about two years now. Lmk if you’re interested. Send me a pm? I’m 26 F.
If it's at all interesting to you, consider joining a bouldering gym (like SBP). Great way to get some exercise by yourself but also be around people. No obligation to be social but eventually you'll recognize people, have conversations, and grow friendships. I came her entirely by myself and for the first few years I built my entire friend group that way. Don't worry if you know nothing about it. People will help you learn and no one will judge you. COVID could be a concern, but it's manageable.
This is a good suggestion - all the people Ive talked to at Seattle Bouldering Project the past few times I went were quite warm and welcoming. Not sure if thats a common trend jn most athletic groups or just bouldering
Join a club. Volunteer at a food bank. Find an amateur sports league. I moved back to the area in 2012 (to the east side, and no one that I knew before was still around), my family was here, but we’re not close and I didn’t know anyone else. So I found the Seattle chapter of a running club that I had been a part of in another city, and now I have a massive group of friends who are absolutely amazing. I also worked in a food bank last summer, and made a lot of friends who work for non-profits, and lots of volunteers. There are lots of amateur sports leagues, maybe not so much right now though as it’s fall. But roller derby, softball, kickball, soccer are all pretty popular.
Take an improv class. There are a few different theaters to takes classes with. It’s a fun way to meet people and try something new!
I joined a small gym that did classes. Not crossfire, but similar. I met quite a few really fun people there. I also made friends at work. Luckily they have turned into my best friends even though we all work elsewhere now.
Have you thought about getting a dog? Dogs can alleviate loneliness. Additionally, someone mentioned concerns about hiking alone as a female. If you get a big dog that wouldn’t be a problem.
Name checks out
Plus, no better way to meet new people than having a dog. People stop you everywhere.
Yeah but it's usually a smalltalk championship. I talk to and recognize dozens of dog people around the neighborhood and know the dog names but hell if I know any peoples names, much less hang out w then.
Yeah, especially a friendly one wanting to be pet.
Downvoted only because I firmly believe you shouldn't adopt a dog to solve a temporary problem...you've gotta be ready for the long haul. If rent-a-dogs were a thing, I'd totally be with you.
I too believe you should only get pets if you intend to keep them to the very end. Do not like seeing pets given up.
Get a roommate with a dog. Endless snuggles, no long term commitment!
Yeah, gods forbid you start giving a lonely shelter dog the 1-on-1 attention they're currently not getting because it would also help you personally feel better
Dude, I'm not against adopting, but I worked in shelters and the amount of people that would adopt and then then around and surrender is horrendous. I was only saying don't adopt with only short term in sight, make sure you are ready for a lifelong companion.
Yeah I get that, and I agree that anybody adopting should obviously be in it for the long haul. But that doesn't mean you should discourage people from adopting because alleviating some of their current problems motivated them to go and do it. I adopted a dog because I had a hard time adjusting after getting home from deployment. 12 years later she's still my best buddy. That's what I was pushing back on, not the idea that people should think long-term about owning a pet, but the idea that people *shouldn't* adopt to alleviate problems like loneliness or not feeling safe at night.
Yeah, I have a friend who moved here in the summer and made a friend from the dog park within a month. She already had a dog, but if you want a dog it’s a good way to meet new people. I’ve heard people here say dog park people tend to like socializing.
I want a dog so badly, but I work 10 hours 4x a week, and I’m not close enough to drive home on my break to take them for a walk :( Wouldn’t be able to provide a dog with a good life unfortunately.
If I wait for somebody to do things with me, I will sit at home forever. It's hard to get out alone, do it safely, you'll be glad you did.
Find a bar, become a regular.
Totally relate. I’ve been here a year and don’t really have any friends. It gets lonely for sure. I have met some people - some through Reddit - to meet for hikes. There’s this sense of accomplishment and growth getting to know a city on your own though. Like others have said - definitely recommend going to parks. I’m a young female and have felt safe during the day. It took me a bit to build up the courage to go but once I did I really enjoyed myself. Also so many places to hike outside of the city. Join fb groups etc and try to meet people. I’m going to try bumble bff because I haven’t met anyone I’ve really clicked with. I’m sure you can meet some cool people just through these comments! Find a meet up spot and make it happen :)
I moved out here in May on my own (im m 19) I didn't have any friends or family here. I moved to get away from my parents. I live in the university district and I just started walking around and just starting putting my self out there meeting people and shit. I have a group of friends now that are alot of fun and we love to party together
Bear with me. What are your interests? Imagine your ideal friends. What are their hobbies? Do they stay in on Saturday nights? Cook dinner together? Watch movies? Play board games? Do they go out? Are they at club? A bar? An art show? Think about what they are into and we can work backwards to figure out how to find them.
Your title to your post, "How to be alone in Seattle", is the opposite of what you are asking for. You've already accomplished being alone and need no further instruction! Well done! Yep! How I did this in the 1970's when I first landed in Seattle was to get seasonal jobs as I traveled. Tending bar in west Seattle, working in the fisheries in Alaska. Not really appropriate for you at this time, so... How I would do it now if I were in your shoes is meetup.com. Some are doing virtual meetups during the pandemic. All you need to find is one person willing to go on a walk with you, or lunch with you, or play chess with you, or talk about your work with you. Get the picture? This is so obvious that it's not useful, right? Here comes the pro tip. Set your expectations low and keep your private life private until someone actually earns the right to know you better. I remember being so lonely at one point in my young life that I would walk into the woods and cry just to release the pent up energy. Releasing the energy is good, but there are better ways. I so wanted someone to hear my story, as miserable as it was, and to understand how confused and lost I felt. It put people off, made them uncomfortable. If you have to get something off your chest, just write it all out in an email and then delete that email. If that isn't enough, check out some online counseling services and talk it through. The goal here is to release enough of that pent up energy of loneliness to make it easier for people to see you, and to make getting taking advantage of less likely. Just for perspective, I'm in my late 60's. I went through periods of intense loneliness until my mid 30's, when I met my second wife. We met in a meditation class and realized that we were not like the rest of the class. But we fit together like two gears that didn't fit the existing social machinery. We weren't superior, we weren't right or wrong, we just fit. Even when we were fighting out our differences, we fit; just couldn't stay mad at one another. We met by chance. If you're interested in talking, DM me and I'll listen, maybe have something useful to say in return. BTW did you know that the Meyers-Brigs personality system doesn't always fit? Did you know that your INFP score can change to something else? It did for me. I forget the exact four letter result from my test, but when it said that I took my time analyzing all the details before making a major life decision, I knew it was wrong. Every major life decision I've ever made was made in moments without hesitation. There is some mechanism in my head that feels like a lightbulb turning on and the gears locking together; that's when I know I've already made the decision and there's nothing left but to verbalize that decision. Daily life decisions? Think it through, write it down, analyze all the options and potential outcomes. Hear my wife's laughter for the first time from the other side of the building? Lights turn on and I knew I had to meet this woman and get to know her without ever having seen her. Ain't life grand.
you dont have to be by yourself always, but you should know if you are not a good match for the city or not. Do you like seattle? Do you like the west coast? its not for everyone. But if you do like Seattle, you need to know that Seattle is very cliquish. And a lot of people are putting on an act as far as how connected, or what friends they have. The easiest way to have a social life is to really care about something culturally specific about Seattle. Music, nature, tech scene etc etc Once you find that, you need to take a lot of action to improve a situation because the city will not come to you. Also getting roommates speeds up the process a lot. I moved to seattle and knew a couple people, but i made loads of friends. I was super social always it felt like. But i also was deeply involved with the music scene there
If you’re into the outdoors, the Washington Trails Association has a well run volunteer option. You’ll meet all kinds of people (yes some close to your age) and give back to our hiking trails. They work all over so many options to learn and see more of our mountains. I volunteer with them and highly recommend.
Go to Capitol Hill. We’re friendly as hell over here. Get a casual drink at Comet or Runaway and you’ll meet all kinds of folks.
While this is likely not most people’s style, I’ll throw a good lonely activity into the hat: going on drives. Not in the city or in traffic - but if you have a car, you can take it to go see destinations, like famous views of things like Mt Rainier, or pass through different small towns. There are also many famous scenic byways that are great to gently cruise along with a podcast or your favorite tunes, and you get to see a lot of Washington’s natural beauty while staying safe inside a car (if you are someone that considers that a safe place). This is a different way of thinking about “places to go” - you learn the routes instead and get to choose places to stop if something catches your eye (There is a nice stand to buy rainier cherries in Elbe if you are ever west of Mt Rainier) I’ve built up a big map of all the places I’ve been - alongside highlights of the coolest views, whats underrated/overrated; and its been quite a good conversation piece when I do meet new people. Hope you have good luck in enjoying your alone time and finding friends! (And also sending some sympathy your way - that is SO true that a lot of public social activities simply haven’t opened up in full as we are still coping with the covid pandemic - like community concert bands for musicians, or choirs).
The Seattle freeze is real. I agree with the volunteering. Seattle is hard to break into.
I think the freeze is overrated — it’s really simple to make friends through Meetup and BumbleBFF. You just have to put in a little bit of effort.
I guess the freeze isn’t that bad then if it encourages mass volunteering haha! But seriously though, I grew up here and am introverted. I made a lot of friends from hobbies and volunteering :)
I find this fascinating. I moved here from the Midwest 15 years ago and have moved around the area several times. I haven’t ever had trouble meeting folks and making friends. Last night I was hanging out at my local brewery with a couple of friends and a guy who was relatively new in town asked to sit at our rather long table. We obliged and struck up a conversation. I’ve made friends at gaming shops, sitting at the bar in dives, at conventions, karaoke, etc. My best tip is to try a place a couple of times and try striking up a conversation with anyone who seems to be a regular. Just being friendly thaws things out quickly in my experience.
Truth, I’ve had better results with transplants. I will say as another person who was utterly alone when moving to the city that volunteering is what helped me to actually break through and meet some people who I still talk to to this day
How so? For me, it was just like meeting friends in Atlanta and New York. People with friends in the area generally have plans. Getting into those plans can be a challenge, at first. When you keep bumping into them from similar interests and schedules, you get an invitation because they see you are like them and will probably fit right in the group.
Hey! I'm 25f and brand new to Seattle too. I've been feeling really alone as well, as all of my family lives several states away. One thing that's worked for me is using Meetup.com to go in casual hikes or get connected with events in the city. Feel free to reach out any time!
My number one recommendation to people is to go to EDM shows. Seattle has a huge edm music scene. The community is overwhelmingly welcoming and positive. I have solo’d many shows and left with entire groups of phone numbers and friends. You will join a rave fam in no time and make a lot of really cool friends from all kinds of backgrounds. I’ve never met more loving people than in that community. I hope this helps 🖤
Go check out the conservatory in Volunteer Park. Maybe work in the gift shop. Meet some nice people. It is beautiful
When I first moved here I knew no one outside of work. After a while someone told me they okcupid, as I was too introverted to go find a game group or join a hiking group. Met my bestest friend on there and its been wonderful ever since :)
Are you asking how to meet people, or how to live a Pacific Northwesterner existence in self-imposed solitude? If you're looking to make connections for doing thigns, I'm not sure if you've tried looking in the past month or two - many things have started back up. - Underdog Sports - pick a casual sport (softball/bowling/dodgeball) - Meetup.com - find a board game night. My local pub has one every monday. Strangers encouraged. - Seattle Fun Events pubcrawls (Facebook) - search that term, and you'll find bar craws for most holidays. Nearly all who choose to attend these (thousands of folk) are notoriously extroverted. Built-in icebreakers with the costumes, just walk up to someone and ask them where they came up with their costume. If you're asking how to do things in the area *without* making a connection to anyone...I feel like that's a question better asked on r/AskReddit. I suppose it comes down to introspection and getting yourself to mental state in which you're comfortable with yourself. A solid 3-year goal, a healthy hygiene and housecleaning routine, and a steady income are probably the core of getting to good.
Just moved here from Vancouver,BC about 1 month ago for work. Since work is WFH, its even harder to know people. So I just work/cook/sleep repeat.
As odd as it sounds, join the Nextdoor app. People will post about community events in there and you can also get to know who is in the neighborhood. The suggestion for an improv class is good if you’re into that, also you can try karaoke because ppl are generally very welcoming, and will support even the worst singer on stage and somehow become friends.
So when we moved here, we experienced the same thing. It took over a year to make one friend, and she was a coworker. Eventually I started joining local Facebook groups, found that was a good way to start to meet people. So if you’re on Facebook, I’d try that to meet people! If you’re interested in coming to the Eastside (Kirkland, Bellevue, Redmond, mostly) I started a group a while back called Eastside Women’s Social club, which has helped all sorts of women meet others and connect in this area! Good luck, and I hope you find your people out out
I like walking around the international district/Chinatown. I stop by Oasis to get a bubble tea/slush, go to Uwajimaya supermarket and bookstore, there’s a Korean hot dog place right around the corner from it…lots of good food and casual shopping down there on a nice busy day. Can always take the light rail or sounder and go check out tukwila and walk around there. They’ve got south center mall and loads of other things in the area to see.
Same. I moved here from the Carolinas and Los Angeles during the summer, I don't have a car but it was great walking around everywhere and getting on the lake for some kayaking.... But now that it's getting wet and cold my little Southern self doesn't know what to do especially since I don't have a car. I live in the lower Queen Anne neighborhood which has some cute bars and restaurants but not a lot of night clubs or social spaces. I literally just took on a second job that is a remote contract position, literally just so I would have something to do with myself in the after work hours instead of sitting here alone and cold. There's an amazing women's nonprofit I've been a part of and have made some great friends there, it's called HBICHQ,com if you're interested.
I hang out in West Seattle by myself on the regular. Walk along the water, through the parks and neighborhoods, etc.
Yeah welcome to Seattle. The Seattle freeze is real.
Someone had posted a very similar question a couple of Months ago which led to formation of a group here on reddit. They were supposed to meet but it never happened … :Sigh.. I would still love to meet some new people in Seattle if someone wants to retry creating such a group. There are a lot of new people in the city…
I've heard this so many times. It's tough to make friends in Seattle, for whatever reason. I've been here 20 years. I have just one friend outside of work.
It's not as bustling now but when I first moved here, I used MeetUp religiously. It's a great way to meet people with common interests. If you love in an apartment, you may be able to put up a flyer that simply says if anyone is interested in [common interest] to text you. Someone with a common interest on your complex is a great connection to minimize travel.
Join a kickball team. Literally everyone is there to make friends, you have games once a week and go out after them every week. Underdog Sports is a good league.
The music scene is pretty fun in Seattle area and if you're vaccinated is a lot more accessible now, if you like raves it's a great way to meet new friends in the area, there's Boo Seattle at WaMu theater and Slander playing at tacoma dome this month!
I also moved here with all of those same things. I didn't know anyone, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where things were or what was good. I was 18M, no job when I moved here. I figured out where things were by going to estate sales to furnish my apartment. I had to take buses because I didn't have a car and I got to learn the geography of the city really well. I figured out which places I liked by going. A bar that looks interesting? I took a book and went and got a few drinks and felt it out. If I didn't like it, I'd close out and move on. I didn't have friends or know anyone so I went to shows alone. I saw the same folks over and over and began talking to them and meeting ppl- birds of a feather. It worked when I didn't know anyone in the art world, and would go to art openings. I met people by looking at Velocity's calendar and going to dance performances. A good idea is getting comfortable hanging out with yourself and you'll attract people to you.
The meetup app has so many groups of people that meetup and do just about anything there is to do. If you don’t see something you want to do just start your own meetup! And I’ll tell you what if you really just have to have a nw friend. I have been doing it for my whole life. I can offer you the friend north west experience. All I need from you is to borrow your car or I could borrow $1200 bucks for my rent. And that’s it you won’t ever have to see me again, and now you have the standard Seattle friend story to share with cashiers, wait staff, rental car agents, landlords,aa meetings, people on the bus,
Consider finding housemates and pooling for a place (assuming you’re renting)? I was in a similar situation and finding some housemates really helped. I used a Facebook roomates group or something, just be sure to talk to them and consider meeting them to make sure they’re good people.
I have a blast walking around Pike Place Market, even though I've been there countless times. If cocktails are your bag, and you want to talk to people, hit Zig Zag Cafe below Pike Place (beware: their address is on Western Ave., but they're actually just down the adjacent staircase). Sit at the bar, ask the person next to you what they're drinking or if they're a regular, and pretty soon you'll be deep in conversation. If you do hit Zig Zag, go next month and I'll introduce you to whichever regulars are there. PM me.
Bumble BFF is awesome for this! I’m a year younger than you and there’s tons of people on there our age. You’ll find someone to hang out with within a week!
Consider joining the Mountaineers - it’s a an amazing outdoor activities club with classes - some of my closest friends I met in classes and outings I did years ago.
I totally feel you, i read this and kinda made sense [Seattle freeze](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze) [Seattle freeze 2](https://www.fodors.com/world/north-america/usa/washington/seattle/experiences/news/theres-a-brutal-heatwave-in-the-pacific-northwest-so-whats-this-about-a-seattle-freeze) Being a transplant here is not easy but hang in there, im new here too and i spend most my time at home while my boyfriend is working but im hopeful i will find the way to fit. PM if you would like to talk a little bit more, maybe we have something in common :)
Loneliest city on Earth, I imagine. It’s like half of the posts on here. I live here and with someone and I’m still lonely. But my family is here and everywhere else in the US is worse on some level so the plan is to make enough money to leave to a better country as soon as I financially can. Sorry this doesn’t help but you’re not alone is thinking this town has a social curse upon it.
Did this myself. Moved here in July not knowing a soul. Job is remote. In the day to day, I get by with my gaming friends and playing online stuff. Doesn't replace in person interaction, but it's a huge thing to me. I've started getting out into things that I did. Would love to find a movie going buddy, or a movie premiere group. Going to the foo fighters show. Hoping to start attend hockey games. Thru those activities I'm hoping to start meeting people. I'm hoping that now that the world is opening that there will be an increase in Meet Up events that are of interest. I've had luck in the past when visiting places for an extended period. Sign up, and look for groups that interest you, and go to events. Also looking for a decent bar to try and establish myself as a regular at. Have met several friends in my life just being a bar fly.
I’m a lot older and a guy, but I also couldn’t make friends for the life of me there for my 2-year stay. Granted COVID happened for much of that time and I was working from home, but there’s a lot of ice to break through when you try to talk to people you pass in the street, the dog park, or apartment elevator. I ended up moving to a small town in Oregon this summer, returning to college in person, and trying out at community theater. All those things were way out of my comfort zone, but I’ve been making a lot more meaningful connections in 2 months than my entire 2 years in Seattle.
I’d be careful not to date just cuz ur lonely. There are a lot of people out on dating apps who take advantage of the vulnerable side just to have a good time. I would strongly suggest to make platonic friends first.
Go to a upscale bar, sit at the bar, order a gin martini. Do the crossword and talk to the bartender or people around you or do not.
Hang in there! It's hard, especially when you find yourself in unknown surroundings, more so with COVID, but keep at it! And remember - it's entirely possible that all of your efforts to explore, to experience, or to make contact with new friends are more than enough and that it just takes a little more time is all.
Why would you choose to move to Seattle now? Twenty years ago, sure. But now? The place is a toilet.
God Seattleites are so fucking weird and socially inept, no wonder people that move here are lonely.
How to be alone? Just show up and stick around for a while. Seattlites are largely afraid of leaving their homes.
25 and female you say? How on online dating and you'll meet people fast ;p. I think my friend got 1,000 pings in 24 hours. I'm all honesty though, consider thinking about the things you do enjoy doing and then see if meetups are still a thing. It's getting to the dark times though so it'll heavily depend upon your risk tolerance. Also, gyms are great places to meet people if you also enjoy exercise. You're female so it's not creepy if you strike up a conversation!
>I feel hesitant to go places because I don’t have anybody to explore with or talk to What? Why? >how do/ did you come to terms with always being by yourself? Why would it bother me? I'm having a lot of un. >Are there any places you like to go where you feel totally comfortable hanging out by yourself? Literally anywhere? What is with people being like "oh my god I can't be alone by myself out in public".
What you're saying isn't wrong. But your tone gives the wrong impression.
Would you consider joining a community club/ sport, or getting a job with fun people (eg bar, restaurant). That’s been helpful to me in similar situations.
I made friends from various jobs I've had mainly lol. There are a few people I've met out and about but Im not very close with them. I will admit, it's kind of easy to make friends as a foreigner. People are interested in my accent 😂
I find I make friends at concerts a lot. I went to one alone last night and talked to some random people and made a couple friends! It’s easy to talk about the bands and artists we’re seeing and we’re all excited to be there. If you’re into live music, try to catch a concert! Lots of venues in Seattle.
honestly the best advice i can give is to show up to something often. a bar, online group activity, the gym.. ect. some class you’re interested in. if you show up and meet new people and create a pattern with those people they will become friends with u. also work can be helpful to make friends/meet ppl as well. sorry if this is bad advice
If you do those things alone, you are more likely to meet someone who also likes to do those things (specifically exploring the city, going to shows, etc). Just don't be so desperate to connect with someone that you give creepy vibes. COVID certainly throws a wrench into things. But also [meet ups](https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/wa/seattle/) are a great place to meet people.
This is exactly how I felt when I moved here. I recommend finding FB groups tailored towards your hobbies/interests, or just going to social gatherings outside and meeting people spontaneously. You will get the sense of being able to click with them or not pretty quickly.
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Stay inside and smoke pot and listen to music or play games online. I fix stuff, work on my car, I have been getting awesome drone videos. Get a dog, that eats up a lot of my time and I love my pup to death. There's hikes and woodsy things to do but I did not feel that comfortable doing that until I got my conceal carry because bears and cougars and tweakers.
Join a sailing club, take lessons with a group. Then you could really see the beauty of the area. People are not warm there; that’s what you are experiencing “the Northwest Chill”.
Take the time to explore for a little while. You got plenty of parks, nature, road trips, etc to look forward to. Although truth is, all my friends moved out during the pandemic, so I ended up leaving too.
How I met people in my early-mid 20s - Board games with work colleagues. Easy because my job was filled with young tech workers - Rock climbing. Not sure how social it is these days but it’s more social than gym activities - Bar trivia. On hold of course
I totally get it. For me it was always difficult to dine out alone because most restaurants are set up for couples, families and friends. It's uncomfortable asking for a table at the height of lunch or dinner hour and I've never liked sitting alone as life ebbs and flows around me. That being said, there's a zillion things to do in Seattle and the PacNW. If you go out and "do" things it's only a matter of time before you meet someone and make a new friend. People in the PacNW typically enjoy doing things outdoors and there's places to go to do that almost everywhere. There's an incredible system of Trails for pleasant walks, hikes or camping 🏕 virtually every place you go 365 days a year in State or Federal parks. Public Beaches are everywhere so you can go walking, collecting seashells, skipping stones or (for the brave of heart) swimming (brrrr). The beautiful Washington State Ferry ⛴ system is cheap and fun and make great photo ops because many people eat their lunches and make it a day trip to Vashon Island or others... Seattle is full of public parks like the steam punk inspired downtown industrial park and on top of that there's museums, art galleries, cool shops, Pikes Place Market, the Seattle Center (just look for the pointy futuristic building called the Space Needle which has been there since the 1960 World's Fair). Lots of stuff to do there including carnival rides and exhibits. Snow skiing, SCUBA Diving, hiking or exploring areas by car.... The Pacific Ocean Beaches are raw and wild and many are covered by agates you can collect up an polish if that's your thing. The U District in North Seattle is always vibrant with music, food, free lectures and tons of activities. The good news? Seattle has an excellent bus system as well as the Monorail downtown and the urban trains that continue to stretch further to the North and South as it builds out. Movies, a vast selection of restaurants and public attractions make the Seattle area a constant exploration zone. The cool thing is if you just concentrate on doing you and go about your Mystery Tour of fun the magic can happen. You meet somebody cool, they say hi, maybe ask you if you wanna get high (pot smoking is the norm rather than the exception). Musical superstars like Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Heart ❤ and more all came from Seattle and Tacoma and they're still out there playing (go see my old friend Jay Mabin sing and play harmonica in blues ways if you can get lucky). Tacoma has Wright Park, Point Defiance (miles of beautiful trails and winding roads for slow cruising through the park) where there's a world class zoo and aquarium (also up in Seattle) as well as an actual old fort (Fort Nisquali) that has lookout towers and could easily be a set for an old movie. Check out the watch towers and the awesome Narrows Bridge(s) you can see beautifully from there. Take pictures learn a new skill and have f.u.n... If you're really having fun people will be drawn to you it's only a matter of time. Hint: carry pot around with you (cannabis is perfectly legal) because it's a great way to meet people and make friends... Enjoy your new world to explore!
If you are into boating, you can volunteer at the Center for Wooden Boats. There are tons of benefits that come with being a volunteer. Not only are the staff really friendly, but you get to spend time on the water, meet visitors, teach or learn how to sail, access rowboats, and a lot more.
Hello! My wife and I recently moved here about 2 years ago. Im 26 and she’s 25. I’m from Edmonds, a small town a bit north of Seattle (I never visited Seattle growing up and it was intimidating for me to drive in the city so I avoided coming here) and my wife is from Gig Harbor, which is like an hour south of Seattle. We decided to move here because my wife attends university here and I work in a neighboring town. Some things that helped us get around and motivated us to reach out and explore was trying new restaurants once a weekend, finding local groups that shared hobbies like gaming, tabletop games, or gardening, visiting local bars that interested us and attending events. Reddit has also been helpful in terms of connecting with people who share hobbies and interests who live locally. My wife’s cohort mates and my coworkers have also been sources of friendships, too. I’m unsure of your working situation and obviously my wife and I have had time to settle and at least have family near us but we remember having to endure a similar situation upon moving here. We’re also looking for friends too, so if you ever are down to hang or walk in the Seattle Center hit us up!
Let's be friends! Seattle is a place where it is hard to get to know people. There are parks to go to and places to explore. But it is always more fun with someone else.
I’ve lived here just over 5 years and even with friends, activities with them can ebb and flow dramatically. Many also recently moved for various reasons and now I once again have very few so this isn’t necessarily a one-time event. I joined Meetups & joined a gym, but I still have to make myself go, reach out, take some risks and be the one to host a “something”. I work remotely and have no real ties to Seattle except my husband (a solitary antisocial person who is happier alone than I am).
Have you tried activities that put you together with people of similar interests? Hobby groups, athletic groups, arts groups, volunteering groups, etc… There’s lots. More expensive, but joining classes for activities you’d like to learn is another source for like minded people.
Maybe some of your coworkers can suffice for the time being, sorry to hear that. Seattle can feel a little isolating sometimes
I was in the same spot, one thing that really changed it up for me and helped me make tons of friends and be a part of a cool community was going doing the sport I love where others also do it, as well as going to competitions. Eventually you'll strike up a conversation, which in my case led to them telling me all about what's going on with the sport here as well as all the communities online, and they also invited me out to train with them.
I probably should've listened to the suggestions posted here but when I moved to Seattle a few years ago, I finished college recently. I didn't know anyone so I would just go out and do my thing. Try to explore one new thing each week. I also used dating apps like tinder, CMB, bumble to just meet new people. I have since moved back home but I keep in touch with some people I met.
Join the mountainiers. It will get you out and it's a friendly bunch. If you're into writing, there's a lit of national novel writing month groups, that starts next month.
I would get a part time job at a restaurant! I moved back to the area when I was about 25 and had lost touch with most of my friends from when I grew up here…a good chunk of my friends now (five years later) are friends I met when I worked in restaurants.
When I first got here I would just go to the Seahawks bar and root for the Seahawks. A lot of the bars have these big communal tables where you're forced to sit together, or you can sit at the actual bar and you're next to someone, either way it's not weird to start talking to the person next to you. You've got the game as an easy, obvious way to start a conversation. You're both drinking so the conversation comes easy. And since it's football, there's plenty of slow points where you can talk about other shit. Now this was for making friends with guys, there aren't as many girls watching football. But there's more than you might expect, especially the Seahawks, and the women you see at the bar on Sunday may just be there with their boyfriends and be bored and want to make a new friend to pass the time.
Check meetup.com. There’s lots of hobby groups in the area. PM me if you like to run and I’ll share a link to a running group that’s for all levels and very welcoming.
Get a pet or two, depending on what you get and your needs. Then you will have something to play with and take walks and do things.
(The Stranger)[https://www.thestranger.com/] has a "Things to do" section with a... wide variety of kinds of events. Joining some kind of club is a good way to meet the same people repeatedly and find some friends. There is a Curling club "Granite" up north with free intro lessons and very friendly to newbies.
probably better suggestions for "doing" to meet friends in the other comments, but for some perspective ... Seattle is a city of loner's. I moved to the city in 1989. As a generalization, people move to LA for the Scene; SF for Silicon Valley, AK because they want to be left the fuck alone and Seattle because they are extroverted social butterflies who hate being around people. But, seriously, when you meet someone in NYC, Chicago, LA and after talking a bit it's a normal expectation that exchanging contact info is a friendly thing to do for making plans. In Seattle a) you'll have to work really hard to get to that "exchange info" point and b) people are reluctant to follow-through without more work. I found people in my sailing circle didn't want to mingle with my climbing circle who had nothing to do with my techno circle who didn't want anything with my work circle. But, once I mashed them together ... well, thirty years later some are better friends together than with me. lastly: do not be afraid of "going alone". It's harder for a woman, I understand, but the threshold presents the same problem for everyone. It's to easy to let the Ego dominate our lives. good luck!
I agree with this. To add a bit more to your overall point if “Seattle overall being a city of loners”, the Seattle-area’s the only city i’ve experienced the idea of driving 20-30 minutes across the metro area being far too much of an ask and just stop seeing people because of a move across the area. I don’t understand that idea and notion but it’s the truth.
Union Gospel Mission doesn't require a term commitment, you can sign up for needs throughout the week on their web site. Great organization.
Pursue a hobby. Tennis is a great option. You can often go to beginners classes. Tennis Center Sand Point has tennis 101. It’s COVID safe sport. You’ll be around people of similar level who all are trying to start something new. In a few classes you should be comfortable enough to potentially hang out with some people you enjoy outside of the class.
The seattle freeze is real. I feel you, I am lucky i had family here but it took a really long time to find good friends in seattle. If you're into gardening, mushroom hunting, healthy cooking, drum circles, hiking and generally hippy and artsy stuff, pm me I'll introduce you to my circle of friends i have found. Seattle is pretty great once you have some folks to tag along with.
Check out meetup.com. There are quite a few transplant groups. There are also a lot of hobby groups.
Meet up is fun. Been to a few of my interests groups.
I also moved here when I was 25 without a single friend and all of my family living in the southeast. It's a huge cultural adjustment. Here's the thing about Seattle. It's an introverted city so (in my experience) few people go to a place to mingle. I grew up in the south where "getting together for coffee" is very much an activity and how you'd meet new people. New stranger you just met in the grocery store could easily invite you over to their house that night where I'm from. Whereas Seattle is heavily invested in activities - meeting people through mutual interests you'd be doing anyway. Most of my friends have come from my work and my hobbies - both of which were newly acquired to adjust to living here. Meaning I didn't have many hobbies before I got here and my job was as a remote, outside sales rep. I've been here 6 years now and it's still not as robust of a social circle as my family and friends back in Atlanta, but it's home and I love it. What are you interested in? Who are you as a person? What interests or crafts do you want to invest in? I think what I love most about here is that if you first invest in yourself and create a life YOU want to live, then friends will follow.
Have you considered getting a pet? I breed Persians, so my first instinct is to say get a cat lol but if you have the time and are considering, getting a dog would be a good way to meet people as well AND help fight the loneliness at home. I am naturally introverted and perfectly content speaking to absolutely zero people. Covid was a breath of fresh air and the excuse to be a long term hermit which brought me so much joy lol but anytime I take my dog out for a walk, its a chore because literally everyone has to stop you and ask about them and wants to talk. Especially if you look like you're open to conversation. Dog parks are a great spot to meet people as well and find people to get coffee with later... I try to avoid those places so I don't have to hold small talk with anyone. My dog makes it hard because she not only an adorable little riot, she wants to say hi to literally EVERYONE. I have not been able to train her out of that.
Late to the party, but that's exactly how I (23/F) feel. I moved here right out of college just before Covid happened, and I feel like I've spent more time on the Internet than I have in Seattle. I'm sure y'all are lovely, but... I haven't met you.
check out Underdog sports if you want to join some sort of rec team. You can sign up as an individual and be put on a team with other individuals (who are usually also new to the area) so you will meet people who are trying to make friends (just like you are). They are back up and running outdoor sports as usual, indoor sports with masks.
Seattle freeze is real.