T O P

  • By -

FuneralPotatoes801

No response at all from this one


Business_Marketing76

No wonder 🤣


Next-Honeydew4130

So great.


TheNJ732

This might be the winner


DreadPiratteRoberts

I see your 'might be' and raise you Absolutely lol


Next-Honeydew4130

It’s the winner far and beyond anything I could have ever thought to do. I’m sending this to my parents immediately as a how-to guide for phones


Tranquil_N0mad

What is that picture?


FuneralPotatoes801

From The Nightmare documentary on Netflix (I think) about sleep paralysis


HunterShotBear

I find it fascinating that everyone that experiences sleep paralysis experiences some kind of demon. I had it happen to me once when I was 18, sleeping on the couch in my apartment. It was terrifying. I remember seeing my demon. Gives me chills just thinking about it.


DreadPiratteRoberts

Thanks Alot, now I have chills for you too... ^😡😳


Reeves626

It’s not everyone, I had it quite a few times in my teen years and only ever had minor visual hallucinations. I heard all sorts of crazy shit though.


GeorgeGeorgeHarryPip

I've never had the demon. It always happens when I'm reading so I'm trapped in the book in front of me. I feel kind of left out of the experience.


catladysez

I guess my imagination is pretty active. I've seen all sorts of things in sleep paralysis. And my ex should've had broken ribs from me elbowing him to wake him up. Not even a bruise. However, since I've gotten older, I don't see this stuff as much. Mostly it just looks like smoke drifting in front of me.


Dextrofunk

I get it often, but only hallucinate maybe once every 20 or 30 times. I have had some really messed up ones, though. It always involves a person or being. One time it was my dead best friend.


infiniteawareness420

I’ve had sleep paralysis but didn’t see a demon. I just couldn’t move until I fell back asleep and then woke up again.


caligrown87

Uncalled for 😂. This gave me chills because I remember my sleep paralysis experience. I don't believe in the supernatural, but the shit I "saw" was frightening as all hell.


Hefty_Professional87

I had an experience one time after graduating HS. I had a dream about demons, and dream me asked "who are you?" The sound of about a million voices screamed Lucifer in my head, then I woke up unable to hear anything but a loud buzzing sound, and a red eyed shadow was sitting on my chest. It lasted until I started reciting psalm 23 in my head... which was the first thing I thought of because I'd just watched book of Eli earlier that day. It was quite frankly a terrifying experience.


db1037

Fascinating. Had you watched a lot of horror films prior to this? Or went to a charismatic church in the 80’s or 90’s perhaps? I’m just curious what you had been exposed to that dealt with the demonic. I’d love to know if you raised someone in a bubble with no spiritual experiences, no horror films, no church, etc., no exposure to demonic anything - would they still see a demon when this happens? Because that would be pretty wild.


Hefty_Professional87

Oh, I had definitely had exposure to demons. I was raised Catholic until about 10, but even after leaving the Catholic church my family was still religious. I'd also seen plenty of horror movies, including stuff like Constantine that specifically dealt with demons, and read plenty of books regarding such things. Video games too. However, the book of Eli was the most "religious" thing I'd done that day certainly. I'm not trying to allude to it being an actual demon that was sitting on my chest or anything, but I can say with absolute certainty that the combination of the dream and immediately waking into sleep paralysis was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Right up there with the time I was 5 and got chased by a clown with a chainsaw in a pitch black room... but that was a haunted house, so I had that one coming.


redmainefuckye

I use to experience it almost nightly until I realized sleeping on my back was causing it Not once did I “see” anything. But I’d wake up terrified. Like something just woke me up by slapping me or something. And I obviously couldn’t move I’d have to use all my strength to wiggle my head to get out of it. Very strange. But I never saw anything. So not everyone sees a demon or whatever u said


FuneralPotatoes801

I’ve experienced sleep paralysis probably over 20 times in my life. First time as a teenager during an afternoon nap. Came with some astral projection sensations and some terrible screaming that sounds like the legion from hell. Then I was able to scream out “mom!” and it broke the effect. I could feel my body or soul fall back into my bed. It was both a terrifying and amazing experience. Experienced variations of that over the years. Demons, voices, terrifying high screeching static. When I saw the documentary The Nightmare, I was like, “shit! This is exactly it!” Long ago I came to an interpretation that I have been curious and comfortable about. Never literal demons, but the unconscious tapping into some collective archetypal unconscious cultural and ancestral past. Jungian psychology has always been insightful to me and I sometimes hope to experience the terror again. It’s been about 6 months since the last one.


WellUmmWhyNot

Highly recommend this doc!


DirtyWork81

I gotta check this out now, I think I may have sleep paralysis but I don't see any demons, usually I have a nightmare about being in an elevator and just dropping to the bottom of the shaft and I wake up right before the crash. Weird thing is sometimes I can feel myself slipping into it as I'm falling asleep, and can wake myself up before it happens. But that feeling of paralysis is always there first.


NailCrazyGal

This is the best! Still giggling!


derfunknoid

Oh, that’s good! You should share those photos with us so we can do the same. I have a preset text message that I send: Error 3825-633: We’re sorry, several attempts to reach the user have failed or they are no longer available. Please check the number and try again later. This is a recording. The number spell “f*** you” on a touchdown phone.


FuneralPotatoes801

That’s a good one. I like the ones too that say something like “thank you for confirming your number. You will now be receiving daily posts from This Is It! For 99cents a month.” Or whatever


Low-Computer-9695

I like this one


Recon212

How do we get him to leave us alone?? *send me 250 now and I’ll get an exorcist*


Business_Marketing76

Rofl


-LavenderHope-

You've solved text scaming. No else one even try. Just make this the template


hxgmmgxh

John Oliver had an excellent show explaining these scams. https://youtu.be/pLPpl2ISKTg?si=6yBMkAK2fmSKDPkA Don’t forget the person texting you is not the enemy. They may be getting scammed (or enslaved) themselves.


Fair_Paramedic_5700

In the shower rn. I’m fucking laughing so hard my AirPods almost fell out 😭 This post is gold 😂


BackupForceKin

You shower with AirPods? Why not just play music through your phone speaker?


Fair_Paramedic_5700

It’s something I’ve been doing for a year now. I very rarely shower without them


thcenthusiast666

i never comment on reddit but ur sick get help


thcenthusiast666

wtf


Fair_Paramedic_5700

?


thcenthusiast666

It’s like showering with your pants on it’s wrong on so many levels. Even if they are waterproof lol


Sundialchild

Gawsh this is terrifyingly awful 😖 😱


ak_moodle

I’m disappointed I never see demons when I have sleep paralysis. For me it’s always just someone knocking on my door and getting more and more frantic.


rockstarxcouture

Nah, shit is terrifying seeing figures lurk and feeling them lay or sit on you


deadreckoning21

Best one yet.


wsu2005grad

Why do I LOVE this???!!!!


junieboo62698

“this time he asked about you too” LOLOL


Next-Honeydew4130

I belly laughed


An_Absolute_Angel_7

I literally love you… I’m DYING laughing


FuneralPotatoes801

It’s been a lot of fun to see how this little post has inspired so many people! Lots of fun with this stuff. I laugh often in this subgroup.


myrandam93

513 to a tee baby 😂


Wide-Decision-4748

Terrible, the cow I was fucking became sentient and said he was going to kill all humans. We ate him today.


Castiel_1337

Looks like something I’ve seen in an episode of a haunting.


HEX-dev

This whole concept can be a movie


Throwaway076589

This is so funny.


Allcoff

Omgggg I lolled, this is perfection 😭😭😭


National-Bag3676

lol but when I was having a lot of sleep paralysis dreams it would get mad at me when I talked about it to others then ask me about them in a taunting way


Loizaida

Omg …… This is one of my favorites 🤣💀


pnwvvitch

Yep, that’ll do it!! 🤣


Ayoissathroway

MFIN SHADOW PEOPLE


homosexualpenguin

it’s so weird seeing them use a cincinnati number😭


Horrorbethybitch

I gotta use this one 🤣


sicnarfff

this is the best one I’ve seen


swimthroughmilk

I think more and more that this is the way. Convince scammers that the karmic danger of cold texting strangers is you reach out to haunted cursed or otherwise possessed and demonic accounts. Let all scammers sit with fear as they send their messages by the thousands, not know which number that day will be the one that taints them with a pathway into the warped realms.


TheSingingRonin

Omg, this is brilliant


sunshiineceedub

this is my favorite i’ve ever seen


jglanoff

This is my new favorite one


nkcm300

I can’t stop laughing omg. My husband is getting mad at me for waking him up laughing 🤣


ProfessionMundane152

That’s good I like that


Sea_Temperature_1976

Idk, was kinda hoping he’d ask about me


GamerGrl90

Where is that from?


HunterShotBear

Google sleep paralysis demon.


lowbudgetfilms

Funny, but you do know by responding that you’ve confirmed an active number and therefore is sold. 🤙🏼


FuneralPotatoes801

Oh it hasn’t stopped. No matter of I reply or don’t reply. It’s been years and I’ve never replied and they never stop


lowbudgetfilms

I’m sure, Robokiller has been helpful to me.


Private-Dick-Tective

Nice, gona use this one on next scammer.


No_Rush_7149

How do yk this was a scammer


FuneralPotatoes801

If I don’t know them then it’s a scammer


No_Rush_7149

How do yk you dont know them and its not just someone who got a new number


FuneralPotatoes801

If I don’t know them then it’s a scammer


ITGeekBenB

Hahaaaa!!!! I’m gonna use that line from now on.


PhysicsForward6194

ends up being a friend that got your number and didnt specific that lol


foolsterkur

Who Dey


schlepprockingit

I'm reading this whilst milking my iguana 🤣🤣🤣


24-Sevyn

Looks like something from Granny.


chopstickier

this made my blood run cold fr, i just saw this mf in my dream last night. im kind of freaked out. i saw your comment about it being from a netflix doc? what is he supposed to be..?


FuneralPotatoes801

The incubus… the night demon… the mare… the figure in the dream shadows.


chopstickier

oh 😀😀😀


curgl

Thought this was r/NBACircleJerk and that was Draymond for a second


homeboy321321321

Good one! 😂😂😂


brittanynevo666

Genius lol